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You are so right Melissa I just told my daughter my husband and I went to dinner tonight and we saw quite a few seniors eating alone and I think if I owned a restaurant I would have a community table where if you were eating alone you could join others …just a thought
One of our local (chain) restraunt has a community table. My grandson and I were sat at it on a busy day. The other people at the table stayed focused on their phones no matter their ages. I tried connecting via comments like oh that looks delicious or I like your daisy sweater or whatnot. There were 6 single diners no conversation takers. When we left grandson said Grammy you talk to everybody. I said -I do try don't I?😂
Oh my Heart Melissa., this resonates with me 100%. I’m 63, have been out of Church for 2 yrs, ( due to spinal cord surgery) Not one person from my Church came to see me while in the hospital, not one called, nope not even the preacher. Not one came to visit after I came home. I have realized more so the past few months that something is wrong with Me, you hit it on the nail. Yes Lethargic, fatigue and just blah. I did realize that I have never been a Sloth, but I feel like one now. I keep saying I’m gonna go and start working out ( since released) and I have always worked out until my spinal injury. And here I sit having done nothing. I live in a small community, I keep saying I’m going to search for a church ( in my beliefs) that has a strong women’s bible study class and activities. I think every church around me basically became Lazy during COVID and have stayed that way. Anyway. Thank you so Much Melissa as you’ve got me thinking hard. God has used your circumstances to reach out and help others like myself. Thank you so much and May God Continue to Bless you both.
@@karlaharvey2623small town Bible Belt ( smack dab in the middle of the buckle) here too. I have yet to find my people here. I miss making friends. I simply do not have anything in common with the women over 60 here. And church was a bust ( I’m too outspoken for the church types I have encountered here) Meanwhile I’ll keep visiting my friends and family back home twice a year and chat on the phone and FaceTime🫤
This sounds so familiar. Because the church that I was a member of nobody came to see me. And nobody did these things for me. This is a group of people like I have never seen in a church setting before. They’re really a special group. I don’t know if I would have found them if my son hadn’t found them first. So it’s hard to find a church that fits for you. And it could be that your social network is going to be something else. It could be flower arranging or a garden club or something like that. I think possibly The trick is to sit down and think of what brings you joy and what you think you could contribute and what you could get from others. We have a strong arts and theater community here. And my daughter is very involved in that. And I see the joy that it brings her and all the friendships that she’s made. So, don’t give up hope. It is out there for you. I truly believe that. I really believe your people are there. Anyway, sorry to go so long, but I just really felt what you were saying. Love, Melissa.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I have slowly withdrawn from all social activities. I started spending time by myself and enjoyed it, becoming very comfortable with it. I have come to the point I feel uncomfortable being around people. Withdrawing was what I needed at the time, and then became a habit. I want to be part of a community. I think you just gave me the push I needed. I have never seen you before, and know you randomly popped up for a reason. Thank you God, and thank you Melissa ❤️🙏🏼
I remember a few years ago Dr. Andrew Weil moved from his remote ranch to a city home in Phoenix, and he said it was very important, when you get older, to be around MORE people rather than less. That always stuck with me.
This, in a nutshell, is the greatest drawback of social media-we lose physical contact with other humans, which we all desperately need whether we know it or not.❤️
Amen blame the Machine the cell phone - I can’t tell you how many friends my age 58 that every single friend I have only wants to TEXT!! Why?? what is it???
I’m 34 and I am already feeling lonely and it really does wreck havoc on your health! As I work from home I frequently feel the need to get out and join some club/event but my social anxiety always ends up triggering me to stay at home in my comfort zone😝
I'm the same! I'm 34 too and feel like I already live the life of an older person. I get easily overwhelmed by groups of people . I assume you live on the otherside of the world in the US, otherwise we could hang out v😂
I so know this feeling. I didn't realize what was wrong and I felt this way. It's hard. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to carry on a conversation. Whatever you decide, be gentle with yourself and start small. Small group and something that interests you that will make you feel comfortable. Please take care. And thank you.
@@ElsaKing-lp1nq Thanks for this reply, it’s nice to know you are not the only one (not that I wish the feeling of loneliness on to anyone else😝). It’s funny because I never used to feel this way in my 20s but I think it might have to do with the fact that I’m working from home these days plus everyone around is settling down and starting a family and so it is hard to find time to get together with friends (at least can’t do it as much as when you are younger).
Hey Melissa, I did exactly the same, joined a local church and my life was transformed by it's community. I cannot recommend this highly enough. It has a transformative effect upon every area of your life. Getting involved and loving and caring for others and being loved for who you are is at the heart of being healed. Thankyou for sharing this ❤
Wow! I’m 69 and feel 55 although no friends. Had a huge network as a flight attendant out of another city than where I live. After retirement my life took a nose dive. I’m active and have made a few friends (acquaintances) at my gym and my ex husband spends a lot of time with me. Not fulfilling. I need women! My old friends aren’t local and they seem to have no time for me but I still invite visits. Been thinking about getting back to church, seems it’s the only link to make new friends. Great video, came at the perfect time. I too had breast cancer Melissa. You look great and have always loved your sweet energy!❤️
It happens when things change in your life. My kids grew up then came back and had kids so I got busy with them because I felt they needed my help. But I knew I had to have something else. Like you, I need women. I just do. Thank you and the best of luck to you. Much love!!!
Back in July I fell and fractured my back. I live alone and knew I could not take care of my three senior dogs, buy groceries, drive to medical appointments and feed myself. My small group of friends were heroes. My one daughter lives over an hour away and it was hard for her to come because she is a single mom. My grandson is autistic and requires several therapy sessions. I thank God for my friends everyday. I could not do it alone.
This touched me deeply. This is what friendship is. And the joy they felt in being able to help and give to you was important to them. You have had a lot on your plate. Take care. And thank you.
My sweet Melissa, I feel the same. For me, I think it started with Covid. During lockdown, I think everything changed. I still have my best friend, but we rarely see one another, yet talk everyday on the phone. I'm so grateful that your son's church took you under their wings. I need to be in a social situation. We seem to lose it as we age. I'm so sorry that you got breast cancer, but developed a group of wonderful, healing people around you. It is important. I couldn't be happier for you. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I love you to pieces. 🫶💞💞🫂😘
Thank you Rene! And it's such a shame that I don't live close to you. We have so very much in common and see things the same way, and it would be fun to go to lunch and linger over coffee. I really knew something was missing in my life and it was talking. lol. I had Doug and my kids, but I needed the one on one aspect of people I wasn't related to. Love you my friend. And thank you.
@Melissa55 I wish the same as well! We'd never stop talking! We are kindred spirits! Bruce isn't much of a talker, the girls are busy with their lives, and how much response am I going to get from 3 cats??? LOL. For the last 2 years, I had Henry to take care of. Now that he's in preschool 5 days a week, I do need to start engaging back into the social world. Thank you for being my friend, and sharing such a wonderful friendship! I love you!❤❤
You were lonely and lacking human contact. Your heart needed nurturing and so did your soul. I am so glad you found your Christian spiritual tribe. God Bless you, Melissa. Hugs. xo
Thank you so much for that. Yes. I was hugged by Doug but he and I both needed more. We needed people that we weren't related to, in conjunction with our family. We both feel blessed.
I’m 72 and been a member of the same church since I was 5 years old. All of my friends are there and can’t imagine my life without it. It’s a blessing God allows us to have while we are on this earth. I’m so glad you have community now ❤️
I love this Beverly. Doug was born in the town we live in and it's really neat to see him when we are out greeting people that he has known all his life. I love that sense of community.
Hi Melissa Thank you for sharing. I have been a stay at home mom for 21 years my youngest is a senior this year. I am also an introvert. I have steadily lost my social circle over the years and now I will be losing my “job” of raising my kids. I struggle with loneliness and my husband is very supportive but I know he would love more of a social circle. Our church is starting their fall series a study of James and also encouraging everyone to join a small group. This was a nudge to participate that I needed. Thank you Freya
You're so right Melissa. This online network is great fun and I love it, but it can't replace real life friendships and relationships. They are so important. Big hugs to you!
Ditto, I'm now 70 years old son and my husband have.passed. I blamed everything, but now I realize I have no social life, no friends in my state. Getting older is no picnic. I hope I find a social network. Happy for you.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Oh my gosh you have been through unimaginable loss. I cannot begin to tell you how very sorry I am. I wish I had some advice and words of comfort to type. I do hope you find the right social network to hug and love on you. Please take care.
Melissa I know exactly what you mean. To get back involved is important and rewarding. Most importantly is to have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus. Prayers for you my beautiful friend! ❤
You are SO RIGHT . YES i am 64 no husband ,no children ,it happened like that ...not happy about it but... I always been kind of wild ...but today i am ALONE LIVING AND TAKING CARE OF MY MOTHER ....FINE . All what you saying is the THRUTH....I MISS PEOPLE AND PASSIONS ,CONVERSATIONS ETC... BLESS YOU
When my husband moved me to Texas and then left me, I thought I needed to go to church and get new friends. Whoa! These people all but completely ignored me. They all know each other’s families, they’ve never been anywhere but here (and maybe Dollywood). Third or fourth church later and God gave me a brilliant idea. How about I make friends with all the other outcasts? There is definitely a “mean girl table,” so I should start my own table of joy! I’ve always been very outgoing and I’m not shy. I also would love to start a Christian entrepreneur group for church people who own businesses.
You know, you brought up some very good points. Not all churches are the same. Mine ignored me when I had breast cancer. Well to be honest I didn't go very often anymore. But I had been going for decades. It hurt my feelings. So whatever it is that will fill that need for a social community, I hope you find it. It might be in other things and not church. But I do feel there is a fit for you. Good luck to you.
Thank you, Melissa. I don’t always comment- as I know you get so many - but I’ve watched you since I first started watching RUclips and then since I started my channel. You have always inspired me. I just want to say, I’ve always prayed for you and I appreciate that you are vulnerable and honest so that we all can benefit. This is true for so many of us. Being isolated and alone is hard. God Bless you always.
I'm so glad you made this video, Melissa. Thank you for the reminder of the importance of a good social network - I'm similar to you, tend to hibernate and communicate online more than in person. I can see more 'life' in you in recent videos, you have more energy and enthusiasm and I think it may be because of the real-life interactions and the love you receive from new friends. Looking beautiful today ❤❤😍
One of my favorite doctors I learned from at Mayo Clinic teaches about this and I really took it to heart and made it one of my main pillars of wellness. You are so right about the power it has on our overall happiness and well-being. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and wisdom on how to weave it into our everyday lives.💗
I needed to hear your message!! I’m going through the same feelings at 66 years old. My social circle continues to shrink as I get older. Time for me to so something about ! Thank you ❤
Thank you Melissa, I needed this sooo much. I retired a year ago of owning a business where I was with a friend every hour / Now lonely housey husband n terrier 🐶. Thank you
I hear you Pam. We were at home with Oliver. Every day was the same it seemed. But I'm getting out there. Going someplace tonight. Going to a play on Sunday. It is hard to take the first step, but if you do, you will be glad.
Great message Melissa! I find myself becoming a loner as I age and I feel like I have no friends anymore. I’m in the exact same spot. I will make an effort to find a community!
I just stumbled upon this video this morning. You are describing my life. I turned 69 a few weeks ago. I had early stage breast cancer/radiation last year. I've been retired for just under 3 years. I've been single/divorced since age 41 so, decades. I haven't been able to attend church in about 15 years due to migraine triggers there (perfumes, bright LED lighting, loud volume music). I miss people SO much! I do everything alone. Everything. I have searched online for small group opportunities via local churches and contacted them, but no one responds with information or an invitation to attend. I'm not outgoing enough to start one myself and try to find others to come. Loneliness is so very unhealthy. God told us this when he first created Eve for Adam and in so many other places in the bible. I'm at a loss for how to find friends. I never experience human touch. I wish I were more of an extrovert. BTW - I have volunteered at our community food pantry but they've not called me to come help. I then volunteered at a state food program but the work was too physically difficult. I exercise regularly, attend a gym routinely and have been traveling a lot while I'm still healthy/young enough to do so, but always alone.
Oh Melissa. You really are healing in more than just the physical sense. The same lethargy is happining with my outgoing husband and I. I'm 67 and he is 72. We've become those old people who sit in our recliners every night watching Netflix. Thank you so much for this video. I am going to try to think of something for us to do.
Yes, Oh my gosh, we have been too. And that's not what either of us wanted. And we still have a lot of work. Because both of us have gotten lazy to be honest. It takes work to get yourself out there. I think I also want to get involved in helping backstage at our community theatre. Maybe with hair or makeup. I think I would enjoy that. I appreciate this!
Aghh love this so much!!! Ur best post ever! We all need God and community - those Christians would have taken u In because they are followers of God - not just because of your son - if anyone is rejected by the church believers just find another one… even some online are great ! Again Great post melissa! Hope u keep going to church not just for the social health impact but because when things get REAL rough we need faith and hope- We need God in this world and fellow believers are the best / amazing!!! Great post! Also Alzheimers is metabolic largely- diet is huge ! They are calling it diabetes 3! Get rid of sugar forms yall - it causes all sorts of DIS ease! Get out and walk daily and a lot ! and eat good healthy real food not processed- stop putting faith in Drs and science- invest in loving you and caring for u!! Great post 💖🙏🏻 Very encouraging message
Great post Jaime. I will admit my faith had been taking a test. Oh I believed, but something was missing. I think I needed that structure and the people of all walks of life to set examples for me. During the service I get tears seeing the joy on their faces. And I start to feel it too. So not only social but the way my faith has increased has been amazing. Thank you!
Thank you❤. This is so important. Many 60 something women who were highly involved in careers, service, family etc .. become invisible as they age and move into retirement. Becoming widowed or divorced is even more isolating as you are no longer part of a couple. You are passed over & forgotten. Restarting is really really hard! This was easy as a younger person. It’s easy to become a homebody. Thank you for humanizing and bringing awareness to the real issue of being alone.
Melissa, I watched you alllll the time for years and then somehow I lost track of you. Your video came up today and I’m so thankful!! It was meant to be, for sure. 🥰♥️
Good for you. You don’t necessarily need a church, you need to be more involved with others period. It’s a start. That can happen through many outlets. Glad to hear you’re getting out of your rut, keep expanding….. 👏🏻😄
Thank you so much for sharing this message and your heart Melissa❤ I believe you hit the nail on the head of what we all need and were created for. You are so sweet as well as beautiful!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and being so vulnerable. It was very thought provoking and helpful. Please continue creating videos like this. You truly make a difference ❤
Thank you for this post. I am EXACTLY in the same place! I will take other ideas as my husband works on Sundays and I haven't been willing to attend by myself. Great post!
This is one of the best videos I’ve ever seen. So helpful. BTY. Your hair looks amazing Thank you so much. You & Doug would fit in anywhere ❤️ Love to Oliver too. Sweet pup Jana - Texas
The change you made is perfect, Melissa. I am so happy for you, and all of the people you have/will touch. You were meant to find this church family! I remember how well they fed you, and Doug after your surgery. You know I love you, my beautiful friend...MaryEllen
ME, it has been vital to my overall wellbeing. I love you and our group. And I hope you know that. But in addition, I think I needed to see the positive affirmations on others faces and the smiles and hugs. I like seeing people and talking to them. I like alone time, but I get lethargic and depressed if I have too much of it. So it's been really good for Doug and me. Love you dearly. Thank you.
My father is a retired lawyer. He was always a lonely person. No friends or social interaction other than his immediate family and work. Extremely introvert. Very intelligent. Talented painter. He retired relatively young. After he retired, he isolated hymself even more and shortly after, developed Dementia. I am a Medical Doctor and I am sure he will soon be bedridden. My brother and me firmly believe the trigger was isolation. As long as I have health, I will never fully retire. I call my friends and schedule morning coffee and lunches. I am happy that you found your community and decided to share it with us. God Bless you.
Karen, I want to say how sorry I am about your father. And I wonder if it is hard for an introvert to reach out and get a social network. I wonder if the key is finding your strong interest. Me? I love groups and meeting and jabbering. But others don't. So it will take some thinking for us when we age to know the direction we need. Thank you for sharing.
My youngest daughter is an introvert, my oldest is an extrovert and my youngest has had soooo many health crises. I am going to keep encouraging her to go to our churches college group. I feel very strongly that not isolating is the key. Thank you Melissa for the reminder.❤❤❤
Melissa, I ran across Molly's youtube page and she happen to mention you and how she was so moved by your skin. I didn't type your name I just clicked on new youtube videos and much to my surprise this video came up. Just what the doctor ordered. Great talk. Cheers, Deb
We are the same age. This is such an important subject. I lost my mom to cancer and dementia December 2020. She worked as an independent contractor until age 80. When she quit she was struggling with malignant melanoma and felt self conscious. I believe she also realized that her memory was diminishing. I believe that because she was so isolated, dementia accelerated. My stepdad did his best but was unaware of what was happening regardless of what my sister and I said to him. It is challenging to start socializing again. I was bodyboarding with a group of women when my mom needed more help. I also mountain biked regularly then had knee injuries. I 100% agree that social connection is critical most especially as we age. I’d like to hear more on this subject. ❤
I have never been one to have many friends, my best friend passed away recently and it has been so difficult to deal with her loss after loosing my dad last year. I do stay super busy with family and helping with grandkids, but I can see where expanding our social circle can be so beneficial. Much love💕
This was timely for me as well. Turning 70 next month and my social circle is small. It always seems as though I have to make the phone call for a get together and lately I just quit doing that. I know how you feel when you say having conversations is hard and it's funny, because my husband calls me "the mayor". Since I still have him as part of my social network, I guess I don't try as hard as I could, but I'm also not looking for a lot of drama from friends either. Had enough of that in my youth. Thanks for your message.
Greetings Melissa! This is so what I need. It's just that I have so much social anxiety that I can't make myself do it. Thank you so much. Love and blessings ♥️🙏
This is profoundly important information, thank you so much! This is an epidemic in our society, and I know it has effected me. It’s so easy to pin it on other things and never figure out what it actually is because we’ve already accepted the lack of social contact. Thank you for this extremely important reminder! ALWAYS MAKE NEW FRIENDS AND KEEP UP A STRONG SOCIAL NETWORK.
Thank you for being so vulnerable. This resonates with me as well. So glad you found your people. They are givers as you are. After 8 yrs. I am just starting to have a Social Life again. I am also familiar with the research pertaining to loneliness. In person connection is what I too have been lacking. Hugs. ❤
You are so very precious and so right! I just retired, and I'm thinking about ways I can develop an in-person network. This was an especially encouraging message for me. Thank you, Melissa!
You're so right Melissa. This online network is great , but it can't replace real life friendships and relationships, that is important Big hugs to you!
A very important topic. The #1 killer of the elder is loneliness. I too am in that position at 67. I used to have friends that I hung with, but things and people and circumstances change. People have grandchildren, baby Boomers are taking care of their very elderly parents, and things change when your friend's spouse retires. Since I was in my 20's I have always been faithful to the house of God. And yes, there are wonderful communications with friends and acquaintances. I have had knee issue for 2 years which made the 45-minute ride and standing in church difficult. A lot of pain in my knee and back. 9 weeks ago, had surgery and still not able to go. I watch online, but it's not the same as fellowship, praise and worship in the house of God. I think you have done the thing that has been missing in your life, Melissa.❤
Yes I have didn't the thing that was missing. And now I have the courage to go even more. I might branch out volunteering in community theatre backstage, or any number of things. I've been going to things offered in town that interest me. The surgery and not being able to get out is hard for you, I know. But I do hope you can think about doing something you are interested in closer to home that you can manage with your knee. I do really believe it will be worth it. And sorry to sound so bossy!!! Love to you and thank you.
@@Melissa55I don’t know if you will read this? But…it’s very hard to socialize sometimes. I’m very friendly love to talk to people,my neighbor hood is great. Now I have Vertigo and pinched nerves in my neck and peoples who was helping me ( asked help maybe 1-2 a year)avoiding me,not even saying Hi. I would not ask for help just would be wonderful if say hey have a good day. No church right now,looking. Would LOVE TO VOLUNTEER,but have macular degeneration and driving is hard sometimes. My daughter is like 40 minutes from me😒 My other is in Texas. Messed to them about my condition and guess they did not answered ( 3 weeks-+) I do NOT COMPLAINING about anything but they asked me and this time told them I’m not doing good. I’m sad Sending my love,your beautiful,smart and care about people ❤
I can relate to this so much. I often suggest to people who move to find a church to be part of. What you have described about the church helping you is a perfect example of the Body of Christ loving on each other, being the hands and feet of Jesus. My husband and I have become too lethargic in that area too. Thank you for reminding all of us about the need for each other. ❤
First time I saw your channel and I can so relate to how you felt and this has given me a clue on what to do to become part of humanity again! Thank you.
❤️How fortunate, how blessed you are to have this Church, these sweet people. I am still searching for that Church and praying I find it soon!! Would love this as well and need it in this time of my life. So happy for you!! It’s God who you were missing, his people and you found Him, them!!
Excellent message Melissa, it’s about community and it doesn’t have to be a religious one. A community that we resonate with means we are never alone. A timely video that we all appreciate. Thank you ❤️🐨
I love this! The same thing happened to me! I visited a wonderful church, and the ladies embraced me! I was invited to a community group, volunteer every Tuesday morning in the office, and let me tell you... a hole has been filled! Now I am leading a small group with young women helping them find balance and growth.❤
This resonates with me!!! I’ve been so sad since my youngest child bought his own home. I truly believe the Lord wanted me to see this message. Plus I just started going to our local church. Thank you for this message 💖🙏🏼😘
I’m so happy that you found “your people”. After losing my husband, my church family and other friends were there for me. I know that the Lord brought them into my life. That was 15 years ago and they are still here for me. Praying for you as you grow in the Lord while attending this church. He will show you how you can reach out to others. God bless you Melissa. ❤
Hi Melissa! I've been following your channel for years, and i just wanted to let you know I absolutely agree with everything you said and the way you said it. I'm just a few years younger than you, and I can completely relate. We need to make an effort to socialise, share our knowledge, experience, and time with others and not just stay at our cosy homes all day, watching TV or youtube. Thank you for sharing such an honest video, and I look forward to seeing your next one ❤
Whenever the 'Blue Zones' are discussed, one of the things all the communities around the world that thrive in their senior years have in common, in addition to healthy diet, & active lifestyles, strong SOCIAL connections are ALWAYS mentioned.! I am happy for you ) as a single person living in a big city, it is something I can improve as well, working on seeing my friends more in person !😊💗
This is a wonderful video! You wondered if it’s because of social media (including RUclips). I think it is, but not necessarily because the social media is bad, it’s just that it’s convenient. Like many of our modern inventions (fast food, cars, labor-saving devices), it makes life so easy and comfortable that we forget what we are losing in the form of face-to-face communication. Thank you thank you for this reminder to find and participate in community. I also love that you didn’t really look for societal *blame* on it - I think you really nailed it when you said you were becoming lethargic - I think that’s what’s happened to all of us!
This also resonates with me. I’m 69. I retired from 32 years of teaching and the same month I retired we moved 6 hours away from my friends and community. That was 9 years ago. I depend way too much on my husband for companionship. I’m feeling the same things you describe. I need to take your advice and make more of an effort to make friends.
Great video Melissa. I lost faith in the church many years ago. I went every Sunday when I was growing up, with my family. Mum got cancer when she was 44 and noone from the church called or contacted. I was 13 and my brother was 7. Not one person even when and after she died leaving my dad alone to raise us. I know you can't judge one group by a bad experience but it's hard to shake these things off. I am lucky that I have friends to go out with and meet up with now especially as I'm sight impaired and can no longer drive and need help. But I totally agree that staying socially connected is so important to keep your mind active and alive xxxx
@@caroleloveslife a lot of prayer will lead you to the right church. That's what we did 30 years ago. God led us to a church that I thought I'd never fit into. We were used to a small church and this one was large . Everyone is so friendly and the Pastor and his wife are amazing. Just a couple weeks ago, my son in law was in the hospital with some serious issues. Out Pastor drove 45 minutes two days in a row to pray for him. My son in law doesn't even go to church. So, it really takes getting series with God to lead you to Bible believing church. 🙏🙏
Oh Carole, I hear you!!! My church that I had been a member of since 1982 did nothing. No phone call, not a thing. But I had been lethargic about going to church so I guess they just forgot about me. This church was different. And it made me realize there are ones out there that still reach out and care. They just found me. And my faith had taken a hit, too, to be honest. I didn't want to go to church. But circumstances, with my son being called to preach, forced me to go. I had to support him. I really feel like there are still churches out there. But they can be so hard to find. Love to you and please take care. You have suffered in your life.
Wow! I can’t believe I’m seeing this today. This is what has happened to me and my husband. We have lost our social network. It does take effort. We are in a church and go every week but aren’t involved in personal relationships.
I almost passed over this video, but……tomorrow is my first meeting of a Multi-cultural group at a local church. This was a divine message. Thank you and all the best.💕
Thank you for sharing your feelings and experience on this platform. It is so important in this digital age. It’s not easy to step out and explore groups to form social connections. I’m in similar circumstance, feeling isolated from one on one relationships, yet am busy and social at work, but my friendships and community have been neglected, not even conscious it was happening. You have inspired and helped me be aware of taking action and a new direction, exploring my interests. I’m almost 67 and realize community and in person conversations are important. Thank you, Melissa for being so authentic and generous❤️ Great conversation!
Wow you hit the nail on the head, "not even conscious it was happening", but it really was to me. I think I was probably depressed. And I still have to make the effort. So good luck to us both and thank you!!!!
I was just praying about this specific subject and need a social network very much. I'm not certain how to pursue this but I'm hoping God opens the door. I just came across your site for the first time early this morning. You're from my old neck of the woods. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and journey as it totally resonates with me. God bless you.
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Thank you 😊
You are so right Melissa I just told my daughter my husband and I went to dinner tonight and we saw quite a few seniors eating alone and I think if I owned a restaurant I would have a community table where if you were eating alone you could join others …just a thought
I love this idea! ❤❤❤
Great idea indeed!
One of our local (chain) restraunt has a community table. My grandson and I were sat at it on a busy day. The other people at the table stayed focused on their phones no matter their ages. I tried connecting via comments like oh that looks delicious or I like your daisy sweater or whatnot. There were 6 single diners no conversation takers. When we left grandson said Grammy you talk to everybody. I said -I do try don't I?😂
I love that idea!!!! You are a smart cookie.
@@juliebaker9266 That is sad though isn't it? I love you talk to people though. I do that too.
Oh my Heart Melissa., this resonates with me 100%. I’m 63, have been out of Church for 2 yrs, ( due to spinal cord surgery) Not one person from my Church came to see me while in the hospital, not one called, nope not even the preacher. Not one came to visit after I came home. I have realized more so the past few months that something is wrong with Me, you hit it on the nail. Yes Lethargic, fatigue and just blah. I did realize that I have never been a Sloth, but I feel like one now. I keep saying I’m gonna go and start working out ( since released) and I have always worked out until my spinal injury. And here I sit having done nothing. I live in a small community, I keep saying I’m going to search for a church ( in my beliefs) that has a strong women’s bible study class and activities. I think every church around me basically became Lazy during COVID and have stayed that way. Anyway. Thank you so Much Melissa as you’ve got me thinking hard. God has used your circumstances to reach out and help others like myself. Thank you so much and May God Continue to Bless you both.
I have never been lucky to find a good group of people.
Where are my people???😥
@@LucianaVIP1 I know what you mean. This community I live in is so very unfriendly. And I live in the Bible Capital lol. Go figure.
@@karlaharvey2623small town Bible Belt ( smack dab in the middle of the buckle) here too. I have yet to find my people here. I miss making friends. I simply do not have anything in common with the women over 60 here. And church was a bust ( I’m too outspoken for the church types I have encountered here) Meanwhile I’ll keep visiting my friends and family back home twice a year and chat on the phone and FaceTime🫤
@@LucianaVIP1 same
This sounds so familiar. Because the church that I was a member of nobody came to see me. And nobody did these things for me. This is a group of people like I have never seen in a church setting before. They’re really a special group. I don’t know if I would have found them if my son hadn’t found them first. So it’s hard to find a church that fits for you. And it could be that your social network is going to be something else. It could be flower arranging or a garden club or something like that. I think possibly The trick is to sit down and think of what brings you joy and what you think you could contribute and what you could get from others. We have a strong arts and theater community here. And my daughter is very involved in that. And I see the joy that it brings her and all the friendships that she’s made. So, don’t give up hope. It is out there for you. I truly believe that. I really believe your people are there. Anyway, sorry to go so long, but I just really felt what you were saying. Love, Melissa.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I have slowly withdrawn from all social activities. I started spending time by myself and enjoyed it, becoming very comfortable with it. I have come to the point I feel uncomfortable being around people. Withdrawing was what I needed at the time, and then became a habit. I want to be part of a community. I think you just gave me the push I needed. I have never seen you before, and know you randomly popped up for a reason. Thank you God, and thank you Melissa ❤️🙏🏼
I remember a few years ago Dr. Andrew Weil moved from his remote ranch to a city home in Phoenix, and he said it was very important, when you get older, to be around MORE people rather than less. That always stuck with me.
That makes sense to me. I'm going to remember that.
I need to remember this. ❤
I totally agree. But what if you just don't want to be around people?
@@lornamcallister8374everyone needs to work out what they need as solitude is beautiful too
Sounds like me@@lornamcallister8374
What you described here is what church is supposed to be. People supporting and praying for each other. That was God’s intention. ❤
It really is. This church reminds me of the church I grew up in as a child.
Here here. Well said. 🥰
This, in a nutshell, is the greatest drawback of social media-we lose physical contact with other humans, which we all desperately need whether we know it or not.❤️
I thought about that when I was sitting down and thinking about the points I wanted to discuss. It's true.
Amen blame the Machine the cell phone - I can’t tell you how many friends my age 58 that every single friend I have only wants to TEXT!! Why?? what is it???
Your breath taking God has blessed you with true beauty both inside and out God bless 🙌 you 🙏
boy...did i ever need to hear this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU!!
Thank you Joann and the very very best to you.
You needed community. The Lord created us to be in community. ❤
Bingo. I believe that too.
I’m 34 and I am already feeling lonely and it really does wreck havoc on your health! As I work from home I frequently feel the need to get out and join some club/event but my social anxiety always ends up triggering me to stay at home in my comfort zone😝
I'm the same! I'm 34 too and feel like I already live the life of an older person. I get easily overwhelmed by groups of people . I assume you live on the otherside of the world in the US, otherwise we could hang out v😂
I so know this feeling. I didn't realize what was wrong and I felt this way. It's hard. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to carry on a conversation. Whatever you decide, be gentle with yourself and start small. Small group and something that interests you that will make you feel comfortable. Please take care. And thank you.
@@ElsaKing-lp1nq Thanks for this reply, it’s nice to know you are not the only one (not that I wish the feeling of loneliness on to anyone else😝). It’s funny because I never used to feel this way in my 20s but I think it might have to do with the fact that I’m working from home these days plus everyone around is settling down and starting a family and so it is hard to find time to get together with friends (at least can’t do it as much as when you are younger).
@@Melissa55 You are so warm and encouraging. Thank u🥰
i need contact,been so unwell and bereaved,had to cancel cleaner I had booked,just so much social anxiety now
Hey Melissa, I did exactly the same, joined a local church and my life was transformed by it's community. I cannot recommend this highly enough. It has a transformative effect upon every area of your life. Getting involved and loving and caring for others and being loved for who you are is at the heart of being healed. Thankyou for sharing this ❤
It’s really true. I have just gotten so much being around all these people. Thank you
Well Said. My therapist keeps trying to encourage me.
What if you have belonged to a church and that never happens. They are only “friends” at church.
Wow! I’m 69 and feel 55 although no friends. Had a huge network as a flight attendant out of another city than where I live. After retirement my life took a nose dive. I’m active and have made a few friends (acquaintances) at my gym and my ex husband spends a lot of time with me. Not fulfilling. I need women! My old friends aren’t local and they seem to have no time for me but I still invite visits. Been thinking about getting back to church, seems it’s the only link to make new friends. Great video, came at the perfect time. I too had breast cancer Melissa. You look great and have always loved your sweet energy!❤️
It happens when things change in your life. My kids grew up then came back and had kids so I got busy with them because I felt they needed my help. But I knew I had to have something else. Like you, I need women. I just do. Thank you and the best of luck to you. Much love!!!
Back in July I fell and fractured my back. I live alone and knew I could not take care of my three senior dogs, buy groceries, drive to medical appointments and feed myself. My small group of friends were heroes. My one daughter lives over an hour away and it was hard for her to come because she is a single mom. My grandson is autistic and requires several therapy sessions.
I thank God for my friends everyday. I could not do it alone.
This touched me deeply. This is what friendship is. And the joy they felt in being able to help and give to you was important to them. You have had a lot on your plate. Take care. And thank you.
Beautiful message. Thank you so much for sharing and reminding us of what helps our heart.
I so appreciate it.
My sweet Melissa, I feel the same. For me, I think it started with Covid. During lockdown, I think everything changed. I still have my best friend, but we rarely see one another, yet talk everyday on the phone.
I'm so grateful that your son's church took you under their wings.
I need to be in a social situation. We seem to lose it as we age. I'm so sorry that you got breast cancer, but developed a group of wonderful, healing people around you. It is important. I couldn't be happier for you.
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I love you to pieces. 🫶💞💞🫂😘
Thank you Rene! And it's such a shame that I don't live close to you. We have so very much in common and see things the same way, and it would be fun to go to lunch and linger over coffee. I really knew something was missing in my life and it was talking. lol. I had Doug and my kids, but I needed the one on one aspect of people I wasn't related to. Love you my friend. And thank you.
@Melissa55 I wish the same as well! We'd never stop talking! We are kindred spirits! Bruce isn't much of a talker, the girls are busy with their lives, and how much response am I going to get from 3 cats??? LOL.
For the last 2 years, I had Henry to take care of. Now that he's in preschool 5 days a week, I do need to start engaging back into the social world.
Thank you for being my friend, and sharing such a wonderful friendship! I love you!❤❤
You were lonely and lacking human contact. Your heart needed nurturing and so did your soul. I am so glad you found your Christian spiritual tribe. God Bless you, Melissa. Hugs. xo
Thank you so much for that. Yes. I was hugged by Doug but he and I both needed more. We needed people that we weren't related to, in conjunction with our family. We both feel blessed.
Which we lived closer ❤
I’m 72 and been a member of the same church since I was 5 years old. All of my friends are there and can’t imagine my life without it. It’s a blessing God allows us to have while we are on this earth. I’m so glad you have community now ❤️
I love this Beverly. Doug was born in the town we live in and it's really neat to see him when we are out greeting people that he has known all his life. I love that sense of community.
Hi Melissa
Thank you for sharing. I have been a stay at home mom for 21 years my youngest is a senior this year. I am also an introvert. I have steadily lost my social circle over the years and now I will be losing my “job” of raising my kids. I struggle with loneliness and my husband is very supportive but I know he would love more of a social circle. Our church is starting their fall series a study of James and also encouraging everyone to join a small group. This was a nudge to participate that I needed. Thank you
Freya
Church events and Bible study is where I met my best friends
Oh good luck!!! It's so hard sometimes taking that first step. But the rewards can be immeasurable.
You're so right Melissa. This online network is great fun and I love it, but it can't replace real life friendships and relationships. They are so important. Big hugs to you!
They are important and I didn't realize it until I read that article and it dawned on me. Thank you and love you!
True
Ditto, I'm now 70 years old son and my husband have.passed. I blamed everything, but now I realize I have no social life, no friends in my state. Getting older is no picnic. I hope I find a social network. Happy for you.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Oh my gosh you have been through unimaginable loss. I cannot begin to tell you how very sorry I am. I wish I had some advice and words of comfort to type. I do hope you find the right social network to hug and love on you. Please take care.
@Melissa55 Thank you, God bless, and please enjoy your life.❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I can relate 😁😁...it's not easy being alone...
It does take work to keep in touch with friends. It is SO worth it. Thank you.
I am beginning to realize it is so worth it. Thank you.
Melissa I know exactly what you mean. To get back involved is important and rewarding. Most importantly is to have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus. Prayers for you my beautiful friend! ❤
It is. And I wonder if social media is partly to blame? I'm not sure, but these are some amazing people.
You are SO RIGHT .
YES i am 64 no husband ,no children ,it happened like that ...not happy about it but...
I always been kind of wild ...but today i am ALONE LIVING AND TAKING CARE OF MY MOTHER ....FINE .
All what you saying is the THRUTH....I MISS PEOPLE AND PASSIONS ,CONVERSATIONS ETC...
BLESS YOU
When my husband moved me to Texas and then left me, I thought I needed to go to church and get new friends. Whoa! These people all but completely ignored me. They all know each other’s families, they’ve never been anywhere but here (and maybe Dollywood). Third or fourth church later and God gave me a brilliant idea. How about I make friends with all the other outcasts? There is definitely a “mean girl table,” so I should start my own table of joy! I’ve always been very outgoing and I’m not shy. I also would love to start a Christian entrepreneur group for church people who own businesses.
You know, you brought up some very good points. Not all churches are the same. Mine ignored me when I had breast cancer. Well to be honest I didn't go very often anymore. But I had been going for decades. It hurt my feelings. So whatever it is that will fill that need for a social community, I hope you find it. It might be in other things and not church. But I do feel there is a fit for you. Good luck to you.
Thank you, Melissa. I don’t always comment- as I know you get so many - but I’ve watched you since I first started watching RUclips and then since I started my channel. You have always inspired me. I just want to say, I’ve always prayed for you and I appreciate that you are vulnerable and honest so that we all can benefit. This is true for so many of us. Being isolated and alone is hard. God Bless you always.
I'm so glad you made this video, Melissa. Thank you for the reminder of the importance of a good social network - I'm similar to you, tend to hibernate and communicate online more than in person. I can see more 'life' in you in recent videos, you have more energy and enthusiasm and I think it may be because of the real-life interactions and the love you receive from new friends. Looking beautiful today ❤❤😍
Thank you and the very best to you!
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
One of my favorite doctors I learned from at Mayo Clinic teaches about this and I really took it to heart and made it one of my main pillars of wellness. You are so right about the power it has on our overall happiness and well-being. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and wisdom on how to weave it into our everyday lives.💗
It is still rather hard at times, because I get lazy. But it is worth it in and long run and I try to remember that.
Thank you Melissa for talk8ng about the importance of having a social network. I am exactly at that place in my life, l feel exactly as you did.
I needed to hear your message!! I’m going through the same feelings at 66 years old. My social circle continues to shrink as I get older. Time for me to so something about ! Thank you ❤
And the thing that happens I think is that it is gradual. It sneaks up on us. Thank you.
Thank you Melissa, I needed this sooo much. I retired a year ago of owning a business where I was with a friend every hour / Now lonely housey husband n terrier 🐶. Thank you
I hear you Pam. We were at home with Oliver. Every day was the same it seemed. But I'm getting out there. Going someplace tonight. Going to a play on Sunday. It is hard to take the first step, but if you do, you will be glad.
Beautiful story. You have opened my eyes about what I need to do. I am sure you just helped so many of us. Thank-you so much❤
I resisted. I thought I had it all planned out. But I was still tired and lethargic. I found I needed people. Good luck!!! And thank you.
Great message Melissa! I find myself becoming a loner as I age and I feel like I have no friends anymore. I’m in the exact same spot. I will make an effort to find a community!
You are right we need to make the effort, I'm ready. Blessings to you from Texas.
@@salsarmemimi7292 blessings to you as well!
I just stumbled upon this video this morning. You are describing my life. I turned 69 a few weeks ago. I had early stage breast cancer/radiation last year. I've been retired for just under 3 years. I've been single/divorced since age 41 so, decades. I haven't been able to attend church in about 15 years due to migraine triggers there (perfumes, bright LED lighting, loud volume music). I miss people SO much! I do everything alone. Everything. I have searched online for small group opportunities via local churches and contacted them, but no one responds with information or an invitation to attend. I'm not outgoing enough to start one myself and try to find others to come. Loneliness is so very unhealthy. God told us this when he first created Eve for Adam and in so many other places in the bible. I'm at a loss for how to find friends. I never experience human touch. I wish I were more of an extrovert. BTW - I have volunteered at our community food pantry but they've not called me to come help. I then volunteered at a state food program but the work was too physically difficult. I exercise regularly, attend a gym routinely and have been traveling a lot while I'm still healthy/young enough to do so, but always alone.
Praise God for this wonderful church. You are so easy to love. I’m so happy for you. You and Doug will be a blessing in their lives, too.
Thank you so very much. I really feel so blessed that these people found me. Because they did. They found me and "loved me up". It's been a blessing.
Oh Melissa. You really are healing in more than just the physical sense. The same lethargy is happining with my outgoing husband and I. I'm 67 and he is 72. We've become those old people who sit in our recliners every night watching Netflix. Thank you so much for this video. I am going to try to think of something for us to do.
Yes, Oh my gosh, we have been too. And that's not what either of us wanted. And we still have a lot of work. Because both of us have gotten lazy to be honest. It takes work to get yourself out there. I think I also want to get involved in helping backstage at our community theatre. Maybe with hair or makeup. I think I would enjoy that. I appreciate this!
Thank u for this. Glad its NOT just ME. BLESS YOU
Thank you, Lisa. No, it's not just you. I thought I was the only one, too.
This was a wonderful message that speaks to all ages.
I appreciate that so much.
Aghh love this so much!!!
Ur best post ever!
We all need God and community - those Christians would have taken u In because they are followers of God - not just because of your son - if anyone is rejected by the church believers just find another one… even some online are great !
Again Great post melissa! Hope u keep going to church not just for the social health impact but because when things get REAL rough we need faith and hope- We need God in this world and fellow believers are the best / amazing!!! Great post!
Also Alzheimers is metabolic largely- diet is huge ! They are calling it diabetes 3! Get rid of sugar forms yall - it causes all sorts of DIS ease! Get out and walk daily and a lot ! and eat good healthy real food not processed- stop putting faith in Drs and science- invest in loving you and caring for u!! Great post 💖🙏🏻
Very encouraging message
Great post Jaime. I will admit my faith had been taking a test. Oh I believed, but something was missing. I think I needed that structure and the people of all walks of life to set examples for me. During the service I get tears seeing the joy on their faces. And I start to feel it too. So not only social but the way my faith has increased has been amazing. Thank you!
Thank you❤. This is so important. Many 60 something women who were highly involved in careers, service, family etc .. become invisible as they age and move into retirement. Becoming widowed or divorced is even more isolating as you are no longer part of a couple. You are passed over & forgotten. Restarting is really really hard! This was easy as a younger person. It’s easy to become a homebody. Thank you for humanizing and bringing awareness to the real issue of being alone.
Melissa, I watched you alllll the time for years and then somehow I lost track of you. Your video came up today and I’m so thankful!! It was meant to be, for sure. 🥰♥️
Good for you. You don’t necessarily need a church, you need to be more involved with others period. It’s a start. That can happen through many outlets. Glad to hear you’re getting out of your rut, keep expanding….. 👏🏻😄
Perfect
Exactly. One can meet great people through volunteer activities, book club, etc.
I'm so so happy for you! Having faith in Jesus and a church family to be apart of truly is life changing 🥹
Thank you!
This sounds familiar. I need to step up too. Thanks, and glad you found a church that actually remembers to practice kindness. Love you. Judy
Thank you so much for sharing this message and your heart Melissa❤ I believe you hit the nail on the head of what we all need and were created for. You are so sweet as well as beautiful!
Thanks, Nancy. And I didn't know this was what I needed. But I did. I appreciate it.
I think I needed to see this today. Thanks I am looking for my community my tribe. ❤
This was very well said and needed.
I sure thank you, Suzanne!
Thank you for sharing your wisdom and being so vulnerable. It was very thought provoking and helpful. Please continue creating videos like this. You truly make a difference ❤
I sure thank you, Cathy. I would argue that I have no wisdom though. I stumble through life flailing my arms. lol. But I appreciate it.
I needed to hear this today! You will never know.❤Thank you so much.
Thank you so very much, Cynthia!
Thank you for this post. I am EXACTLY in the same place! I will take other ideas as my husband works on Sundays and I haven't been willing to attend by myself. Great post!
My husband and I are in that lethargic state now! So glad you did a video on this!
And it's hard to break out of. We still fall back in.
This is one of the best videos I’ve ever seen. So helpful. BTY. Your hair looks amazing
Thank you so much. You & Doug would fit in anywhere ❤️
Love to Oliver too. Sweet pup
Jana - Texas
That is so very kind of you to say. Thank you.
The change you made is perfect, Melissa. I am so happy for you, and all of the people you have/will touch. You were meant to find this church family! I remember how well they fed you, and Doug after your surgery. You know I love you, my beautiful friend...MaryEllen
ME, it has been vital to my overall wellbeing. I love you and our group. And I hope you know that. But in addition, I think I needed to see the positive affirmations on others faces and the smiles and hugs. I like seeing people and talking to them. I like alone time, but I get lethargic and depressed if I have too much of it. So it's been really good for Doug and me. Love you dearly. Thank you.
I know what you mean about isolating!!! It's so easy to stay at home. I'm such a homebody as well. Great suggestions. ❤😊
My father is a retired lawyer. He was always a lonely person. No friends or social interaction other than his immediate family and work. Extremely introvert. Very intelligent. Talented painter.
He retired relatively young.
After he retired, he isolated hymself even more and shortly after, developed Dementia. I am a Medical Doctor and I am sure he will soon be bedridden. My brother and me firmly believe the trigger was isolation. As long as I have health, I will never fully retire. I call my friends and schedule morning coffee and lunches.
I am happy that you found your community and decided to share it with us. God Bless you.
Karen, I want to say how sorry I am about your father. And I wonder if it is hard for an introvert to reach out and get a social network. I wonder if the key is finding your strong interest. Me? I love groups and meeting and jabbering. But others don't. So it will take some thinking for us when we age to know the direction we need. Thank you for sharing.
My youngest daughter is an introvert, my oldest is an extrovert and my youngest has had soooo many health crises. I am going to keep encouraging her to go to our churches college group. I feel very strongly that not isolating is the key. Thank you Melissa for the reminder.❤❤❤
@@Melissa55 thank you...
Thank you for your honesty
Melissa, I ran across Molly's youtube page and she happen to mention you and how she was so moved by your skin. I didn't type your name I just clicked on new youtube videos and much to my surprise this video came up. Just what the doctor ordered. Great talk. Cheers, Deb
This is perfect and I will be sharing it with 3 people that need this now. Much love!
That is wonderful Melissa. You are blessed and loved..❤
We are the same age. This is such an important subject. I lost my mom to cancer and dementia December 2020. She worked as an independent contractor until age 80. When she quit she was struggling with malignant melanoma and felt self conscious. I believe she also realized that her memory was diminishing. I believe that because she was so isolated, dementia accelerated. My stepdad did his best but was unaware of what was happening regardless of what my sister and I said to him. It is challenging to start socializing again. I was bodyboarding with a group of women when my mom needed more help. I also mountain biked regularly then had knee injuries. I 100% agree that social connection is critical most especially as we age. I’d like to hear more on this subject. ❤
Boy did I need to see this video! Thank you!
Thank you!
Me too!!
I have never been one to have many friends, my best friend passed away recently and it has been so difficult to deal with her loss after loosing my dad last year. I do stay super busy with family and helping with grandkids, but I can see where expanding our social circle can be so beneficial. Much love💕
61 and found myself in the same predicament. Thanks for sharing! ❤
I am 60 and was always very social. But not anymore 😢
This was timely for me as well. Turning 70 next month and my social circle is small. It always seems as though I have to make the phone call for a get together and lately I just quit doing that. I know how you feel when you say having conversations is hard and it's funny, because my husband calls me "the mayor". Since I still have him as part of my social network, I guess I don't try as hard as I could, but I'm also not looking for a lot of drama from friends either. Had enough of that in my youth. Thanks for your message.
I love this so much. ❤
Greetings Melissa! This is so what I need. It's just that I have so much social anxiety that I can't make myself do it. Thank you so much. Love and blessings ♥️🙏
This is profoundly important information, thank you so much! This is an epidemic in our society, and I know it has effected me. It’s so easy to pin it on other things and never figure out what it actually is because we’ve already accepted the lack of social contact. Thank you for this extremely important reminder! ALWAYS MAKE NEW FRIENDS AND KEEP UP A STRONG SOCIAL NETWORK.
Thank you for being so vulnerable. This resonates with me as well. So glad you found your people. They are givers as you are. After 8 yrs. I am just starting to have a Social Life again. I am also familiar with the research pertaining to loneliness. In person connection is what I too have been lacking. Hugs. ❤
You are so very precious and so right! I just retired, and I'm thinking about ways I can develop an in-person network. This was an especially encouraging message for me. Thank you, Melissa!
You're so right Melissa. This online network is great , but it can't replace real life friendships and relationships, that is important Big hugs to you!
A very important topic. The #1 killer of the elder is loneliness. I too am in that position at 67. I used to have friends that I hung with, but things and people and circumstances change. People have grandchildren, baby Boomers are taking care of their very elderly parents, and things change when your friend's spouse retires. Since I was in my 20's I have always been faithful to the house of God. And yes, there are wonderful communications with friends and acquaintances. I have had knee issue for 2 years which made the 45-minute ride and standing in church difficult. A lot of pain in my knee and back. 9 weeks ago, had surgery and still not able to go. I watch online, but it's not the same as fellowship, praise and worship in the house of God. I think you have done the thing that has been missing in your life, Melissa.❤
Yes I have didn't the thing that was missing. And now I have the courage to go even more. I might branch out volunteering in community theatre backstage, or any number of things. I've been going to things offered in town that interest me. The surgery and not being able to get out is hard for you, I know. But I do hope you can think about doing something you are interested in closer to home that you can manage with your knee. I do really believe it will be worth it. And sorry to sound so bossy!!! Love to you and thank you.
@@Melissa55 No, Melissa you are not being bossy...lol. This has just been a wakeup call. Thank you!
@@Melissa55I don’t know if you will read this?
But…it’s very hard to socialize sometimes.
I’m very friendly love to talk to people,my neighbor hood is great.
Now I have Vertigo and pinched nerves in my neck and peoples who was helping me ( asked help maybe 1-2 a year)avoiding me,not even saying Hi.
I would not ask for help just would be wonderful if say hey have a good day.
No church right now,looking.
Would LOVE TO VOLUNTEER,but have macular degeneration and driving is hard sometimes.
My daughter is like 40 minutes from me😒
My other is in Texas.
Messed to them about my condition and guess they did not answered ( 3 weeks-+)
I do NOT COMPLAINING about anything but they asked me and this time told them I’m not doing good.
I’m sad
Sending my love,your beautiful,smart and care about people ❤
I can relate to this so much. I often suggest to people who move to find a church to be part of. What you have described about the church helping you is a perfect example of the Body of Christ loving on each other, being the hands and feet of Jesus. My husband and I have become too lethargic in that area too. Thank you for reminding all of us about the need for each other. ❤
Thank you Melissa…I needed this soooo much.❤🙏
Thank you so much for watching this, Suzanne!
We need to reinvent and re do our selves forever!!!!! sending you love!!!! hugs!!!
Boy that is the truth!!! I could do a whole video on that and I just might!!! Thank you. !!!!!
I'm so happy for you,in doing what you needed to do,to complete your healing, and I love your genuine personality! 🥰🤗🌈
I needed to hear this Melissa. At 64 I still work but that’s all I do. I have truly forgotten how to socialize. Baby steps…. Bless you. 🙏
Thank you for your honesty. This is exactly what I am missing in my life. ❤️🙏
Thanks Melissa. I think a lot of us are in the same boat.
Thank you!!
First time I saw your channel and I can so relate to how you felt and this has given me a clue on what to do to become part of humanity again! Thank you.
❤️How fortunate, how blessed you are to have this Church, these sweet people. I am still searching for that Church and praying I find it soon!! Would love this as well and need it in this time of my life. So happy for you!! It’s God who you were missing, his people and you found Him, them!!
We love you Melissa 🥰
Excellent message Melissa, it’s about community and it doesn’t have to be a religious one. A community that we resonate with means we are never alone. A timely video that we all appreciate. Thank you ❤️🐨
This ministered to me. Thank you for sharing. God Bless you.❤❤
There is nothing in the world more important than an actual hug! First time to your channel and yes, I totally agree with everything
I love this! The same thing happened to me! I visited a wonderful church, and the ladies embraced me! I was invited to a community group, volunteer every Tuesday morning in the office, and let me tell you... a hole has been filled! Now I am leading a small group with young women helping them find balance and growth.❤
This resonates with me!!! I’ve been so sad since my youngest child bought his own home. I truly believe the Lord wanted me to see this message. Plus I just started going to our local church. Thank you for this message 💖🙏🏼😘
I’m so happy that you found “your people”. After losing my husband, my church family and other friends were there for me. I know that the Lord brought them into my life. That was 15 years ago and they are still here for me. Praying for you as you grow in the Lord while attending this church. He will show you how you can reach out to others. God bless you Melissa. ❤
I am so glad you found your people,, too. I really think it will make a difference in our lives. Thank you so much, Debbie.
Hi Melissa! I've been following your channel for years, and i just wanted to let you know I absolutely agree with everything you said and the way you said it. I'm just a few years younger than you, and I can completely relate. We need to make an effort to socialise, share our knowledge, experience, and time with others and not just stay at our cosy homes all day, watching TV or youtube. Thank you for sharing such an honest video, and I look forward to seeing your next one ❤
Whenever the 'Blue Zones' are discussed, one of the things all the communities around the world that thrive in their senior years have in common, in addition to healthy diet, & active lifestyles, strong SOCIAL connections are ALWAYS mentioned.! I am happy for you ) as a single person living in a big city, it is something I can improve as well, working on seeing my friends more in person !😊💗
This is a wonderful video! You wondered if it’s because of social media (including RUclips). I think it is, but not necessarily because the social media is bad, it’s just that it’s convenient. Like many of our modern inventions (fast food, cars, labor-saving devices), it makes life so easy and comfortable that we forget what we are losing in the form of face-to-face communication. Thank you thank you for this reminder to find and participate in community. I also love that you didn’t really look for societal *blame* on it - I think you really nailed it when you said you were becoming lethargic - I think that’s what’s happened to all of us!
This also resonates with me. I’m 69. I retired from 32 years of teaching and the same month I retired we moved 6 hours away from my friends and community. That was 9 years ago. I depend way too much on my husband for companionship. I’m feeling the same things you describe. I need to take your advice and make more of an effort to make friends.
God Bless you and your family. I so enjoy your content and your very kind disposition. You are so lovely. Thank you
Great video Melissa. I lost faith in the church many years ago. I went every Sunday when I was growing up, with my family. Mum got cancer when she was 44 and noone from the church called or contacted. I was 13 and my brother was 7. Not one person even when and after she died leaving my dad alone to raise us. I know you can't judge one group by a bad experience but it's hard to shake these things off. I am lucky that I have friends to go out with and meet up with now especially as I'm sight impaired and can no longer drive and need help. But I totally agree that staying socially connected is so important to keep your mind active and alive xxxx
I’m so sorry the church failed. That should not have happened. I would encourage you to try another church community❤️Hugs!
@@caroleloveslife a lot of prayer will lead you to the right church. That's what we did 30 years ago. God led us to a church that I thought I'd never fit into. We were used to a small church and this one was large . Everyone is so friendly and the Pastor and his wife are amazing. Just a couple weeks ago, my son in law was in the hospital with some serious issues. Out Pastor drove 45 minutes two days in a row to pray for him. My son in law doesn't even go to church. So, it really takes getting series with God to lead you to Bible believing church. 🙏🙏
Oh Carole, I hear you!!! My church that I had been a member of since 1982 did nothing. No phone call, not a thing. But I had been lethargic about going to church so I guess they just forgot about me. This church was different. And it made me realize there are ones out there that still reach out and care. They just found me. And my faith had taken a hit, too, to be honest. I didn't want to go to church. But circumstances, with my son being called to preach, forced me to go. I had to support him. I really feel like there are still churches out there. But they can be so hard to find. Love to you and please take care. You have suffered in your life.
@@kathystclair9485 Yes. I never thought I would fit into this church either, but they were so amazing!
Wow! I can’t believe I’m seeing this today. This is what has happened to me and my husband. We have lost our social network. It does take effort. We are in a church and go every week but aren’t involved in personal relationships.
I almost passed over this video, but……tomorrow is my first meeting of a Multi-cultural group at a local church. This was a divine message. Thank you and all the best.💕
Wow! I hope it worked out well for you.
Thank you for sharing your feelings and experience on this platform. It is so important in this digital age. It’s not easy to step out and explore groups to form social connections. I’m in similar circumstance, feeling isolated from one on one relationships, yet am busy and social at work, but my friendships and community have been neglected, not even conscious it was happening. You have inspired and helped me be aware of taking action and a new direction, exploring my interests. I’m almost 67 and realize community and in person conversations are important. Thank you, Melissa for being so authentic and generous❤️ Great conversation!
Wow you hit the nail on the head, "not even conscious it was happening", but it really was to me. I think I was probably depressed. And I still have to make the effort. So good luck to us both and thank you!!!!
I am happy for you and hope you continue to grow on your new journey!❤
I was just praying about this specific subject and need a social network very much. I'm not certain how to pursue this but I'm hoping God opens the door. I just came across your site for the first time early this morning. You're from my old neck of the woods. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and journey as it totally resonates with me. God bless you.
What a great topic. I was/am feeling the exact same way. Am slowly trying to get involved more. Also as we age our friends start dying too.
So happy you figured out what was missing. This is so important and it is easy to become isolated - especially after the pandemic and as we age.