how to forgive someone who hurt you // forgiveness, boundaries & reconciliation

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  • Опубликовано: 12 сен 2024
  • healing Black women affirmation & meditation: what is true forgiveness? can you really forgive and forget? how do you forgive when you're in pain? how do you forgive someone who isn't sorry? how do you heal from someone hurting me? can you still forgive someone that hurt you? let's talk about it. This is a healing vlog for healing Black women who want to forgive and heal from people who have hurt them.
    content included: how to forgive someone who hurt you, how to forgive someone who isn't sorry, all about forgiveness, how to heal from someone hurting you, how to forgive, forgiveness and healing, how to forgive someone, how to forgive when you're still in pain, Healing Black woman, Boundaries and reconciliation for Black women, how to forgive when you're in pain, how to truly forgive, do we forgive and forget, Black woman affirmation, Black woman healing affirmation,
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Комментарии • 91

  • @spiritualandmind
    @spiritualandmind 2 года назад +20

    The “I have not mourned for myself” was the missing link. Much appreciation.☀️✨😊

  • @latisewilson4561
    @latisewilson4561 2 года назад +25

    My mother continues to offend me. But whenever I choose to stay away from her or confront the issues, I'm the bad guy because it's my mother 😔 she's good at playing the victim and I'm tired of it .... Great video, thanks

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +8

      *BIG HUGS* I definitely understand. I'm so sorry 💛💛💛 I'm sending you so much love and joy. You have to respect your own boundaries even if folks don't. That is definitely difficult, but spending so much energy trying to be heard and seen and validated? That's a lot of work.

    • @annicks7385
      @annicks7385 2 года назад +3

      Well my mom is a narc and I just had to grey rock her . That’s the way I saved whatever relationship we have .

    • @latisewilson4561
      @latisewilson4561 2 года назад +2

      @@annicks7385 I think my mother is a narcissist as well.... what is grey rock?

    • @basicbutcute
      @basicbutcute Год назад

      I stayed away from my family for 10 years

    • @kylabreezy
      @kylabreezy 6 месяцев назад

      Great video! Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud was a game changer for me. I pray we all find peace! ❤❤

  • @easiersaidwithmeg
    @easiersaidwithmeg 2 года назад +19

    I have no problem forgiving others. I can’t forgive myself. Everyone always talks about how other people hurt them. Nah. What haunts me is how I hurt others. (Not assault or abuse) but letting them down, hurting their feelings, losing a best friend.

    • @mrsblackson1
      @mrsblackson1 2 года назад +6

      This is so true. I struggled with this for years but once I learned how, it was life-changing!

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +7

      I'm sending you so much love! I had to learn to heal myself too. This is encouraging me to talk about this too. It's a process. Just as we forgive other folks, it takes patience, time and grace. But first it takes us addressing the offense. Releasing the shame by being specific and naming what we aren't proud of. We can do that Journaling or sharing with a trusted friend. That shame starts to heal when we expose it to light. The benefit is you know your heart, you know your regret and intentions. You are remorseful and you're also deserving of forgiveness. 💛💛💛 Have grace with yourself. You can also apologize to them without expectations. Your forgiveness of yourself isn't dependent on whether they accept your apology. If you apologize and are honest with them, you've done your part. 🌺 I see you. There is no shame here. Much love, Sis.

    • @ladiepink
      @ladiepink 2 года назад +2

      Relatable !

    • @seanodwyer4322
      @seanodwyer4322 2 месяца назад

      victim support- Sean O'Dwyer- 140 Hobson street.- Auckland 1010.- New Zealand.'

  • @zionM10
    @zionM10 2 года назад +9

    I fully relate. Choosing myself has been very difficult. I’m still trying to heal.

  • @zweenanyimbo734
    @zweenanyimbo734 2 года назад +9

    Yes - If someone doesn't appreciate you, honor you or respect you then you have a decision to make.

  • @frano.1234
    @frano.1234 2 года назад +27

    You are truly a vessel, sis. You always produce content that my soul needs to receive, at just the moment it needs to receive it. THANK YOU 🌟💓

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +2

      Oh wow! I'm grateful! You're generous. Thank you. Thank YOU so much! 🌺💛

  • @annicks7385
    @annicks7385 2 года назад +15

    There were people who continuously disrespect me . I had to let go of many people when I notice there were too many occurrences . I grew tired of my own resentment while I watched them disregard the respect towards me . And I just started addressing things head on . I researched boundaries , a lot . Because I am a parentified child who grew to people please . So it took a lot for me to start standing in my own voice . And yes it is manipulative to pretend you are over it . And I let go of the people who were gaslighting me as well. Shaming me for having feelings towards the situation. As if I was supposed to just smile when I was being hurt . But the way I let go of the people was loving . Not nasty . I said to my husband “I was such a fake hypocrite to these people . They thought I was cool with them but deep down I resented them the whole time and I need to stop being so fake to myself and to others “ . Excellent message . Excellent .
    Yes being around them made me depressed too. And I literally said what I needed and I felt they kept doing the crap on purpose . Super shady . I do not deserve that and will not tolerate it .
    And it is so sad because these may be people who you’re related to or known all your life . It can be so traumatic to let that go but so healing .

    • @theevolvingmindset333
      @theevolvingmindset333 2 года назад +4

      @Annick S - I can relate to ALL that you said and experienced, as this was me before I awakened and started on my healing journey.
      Sending you peace, love & light your way. Keep healing, growing and evolving. 💫✨🧡

    • @annicks7385
      @annicks7385 2 года назад +3

      @@theevolvingmindset333 thank you . Can you share what you did to heal ? I would love to hear

    • @theevolvingmindset333
      @theevolvingmindset333 2 года назад +2

      @@annicks7385 Yes, thank you for asking. 🙂
      I started my healing journey by seeking knowledge on RUclips, the Web and Instagram to help me understand what I was going through. God/Universe/Creator sent channels, sites and pages like Alecia's to encourage me and unlearn the things and ways that I was conditioned by my dysfunctional upbringing. I committed myself to learn to love myself first and foremost and discover my self-worth outside of what I felt others thought of me.
      Life was always noisy for me, I didn't live my life for me I lived my life for others and it had gotten overwhelming. I knew there was something inside me that wanted more for my life I just didn't know how to get there. When I moved away from everyone (relatives and friends) w/my husband it was eye-opening, to say the least. I distanced myself from just about everyone (parents included) and the personal growth and healing journey began.
      I started meditating, quieting my mind, and finding gratitude in everything that I went through and everything that I was going through during this transformation of my old self to my current self.
      I fill myself up with affirmations each and every day, I journal my feelings, my intentions, my dreams, my desires and my fears.
      I'm no longer the woman I was three years ago and I'm proud of myself for how far I've grown and evolved.
      I created some video playlists that have helped me on this journey on my RUclips page, if you feel led to check them out, please do so and let me know if anything resonates with you.
      Okay, I've been long-winded but I wanted to share that and I hope you find value in it on your personal journey.
      Have a great morning, afternoon and/or night.
      Peace, Love & Light to you. ☮🧡✨
      ~Mrs. B~

  • @chchchshia
    @chchchshia 2 года назад +11

    A while back I heard oprah say "forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could be any different."
    Awesome video! Everything you spoke on in this video, I can relate to. Thank you for the insight.

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +2

      Oooooooooh! I love that so much. That's perfectly stated. Thank you so much! ☺️🌺💛 Much love and joy to you!

  • @jessica.7777
    @jessica.7777 2 года назад +19

    Nobody has a right to put a timeline on your forgiveness. That’s bad theology for someone to say you’re supposed to instantly forgive.

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +4

      Absolutely! I 100% agree. The truth is, they don't want to deal with the aftermath of offending someone. It's not right.

  • @MzzBrown
    @MzzBrown 2 года назад +11

    This was right on time! Thank you! ❤️💫🙏🏾

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +1

      I'm so grateful! And you're more than welcome! 😊🌺

  • @LGnLA
    @LGnLA 2 года назад +5

    💯💯💯💯❤️Well said, BIG THANKS!!!!! You ROCK!!!!!❤️

  • @theevolvingmindset333
    @theevolvingmindset333 2 года назад +10

    Yes, Sis. 👏🏼👏🏼 I love this message. 🧡 I relate to all of this. Thank you for sharing. Forgiving someone isn't for anyone but YOU. There are many toxic thought processes in reference to forgiving others out there. Unlearning many things we were programmed and conditioned while growing up takes time and a grieving process.
    Also, a true and genuine apology is changed behavior, not the words, I'm sorry or I apologize. Changed the behavior, that's the real apology. My husband taught me that and it was a hard lesson to learn but I did and I'm grateful that I did because then it taught me how to recognize a genuine apology from others.

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +1

      Yeeeeeeeeeees!!!! That's EXACTLY how I feel. Yes, please acknowledge the violation/offense, but the only apology I truly want is changed behavior. That's the true apology. 💛💛💛 Thank you so much for sharing this with us! 🌺🤗

  • @Urbanthick
    @Urbanthick 2 года назад +19

    OMG.....this is so helpful as well as a total confirmation. I had to do this a few months ago and it was a painful decision. However, I KNEW and still know that it was long over due. If you have to keep excusing a person's bad behavior and their manipulation tactics something is definitely wrong. Thank you so much for this testimony it let's me know I'm on the right path. Keep🌞

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +3

      Yeeeeeeeeeees! I definitely know how that feels! Much love and joy to you! 🌺💛☺️

  • @UnicornUniverse333
    @UnicornUniverse333 2 года назад +7

    Thank you so so so much, I feel this every word, you said it all so well, you are so compassionate and healing🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟
    I am autistic and adhd and I just can't so so so so often, I have come very far it is still so hard, i pray for Light for everyone 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

  • @takarastar9129
    @takarastar9129 2 года назад +4

    Beautifully said. Thank you so much

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +1

      You are so welcome! Thank YOU! 🌺😊💛

  • @cyncyn2232
    @cyncyn2232 Год назад +1

    “One shot to your heart without breaking your skin. No one has the power to hurt you like your kin” - India Arie Get it Together

  • @Nacole_Lashoun
    @Nacole_Lashoun Год назад +1

    I had to remove myself from the church in order to begin healing. Being in that space kept me in a place of being unable to establish healthy relationship boundaries and acknowledge that suffering wasn’t part of my “process”. Trying to balance the scales in order to keep my faith has been a journey!

  • @plentyofchocolate8971
    @plentyofchocolate8971 2 года назад +7

    Your topics are always right on time, and relatable to what I’m going through at the moment. Definitely needed to hear this.

  • @saintposh
    @saintposh Год назад +2

    I am so glad I found this video!!! Seriously, this describes the situation that I am going through. I was just not understanding why people's first reaction is to make you feel crazy for not getting over it as fast as they want you to. Thank you thank you thank you so much for this message. This has saved my life and last hope. Please be blessed and amazing ❤

  • @kylag5830
    @kylag5830 Год назад +2

    Thank you, I really needed to hear this!! I’ve been gaslighted and I often feel rushed to heal my emotional wounds. I’ve come to realize that, this is not healthy for the very reasons you stated. Meditating on Gods example and how he deals with us is helping me to see that, us humans have it all wrong.

  • @JocelynReefer
    @JocelynReefer Год назад +1

    Than you so I much for this. It has triggered this light bulb effect in my head.. I was able to confront a person who has badly hurt me..and brushed it under the carpet and pretended that I shouldn’t be hurt as she has moved pass it and has never acknowledged my pain..I am now learning to set boundaries..I feel so much better..I now love her from a distance 🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿🙏🏿❤🤓

  • @kylabreezy
    @kylabreezy 6 месяцев назад +1

    10:33 yes! This is how I have ALWAYS approached forgiveness.But this is how the church raised me 💔. Now that I am on my growth journey, I realize how harmful and dysfunctional this is. Thank God for grace and growth!

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  6 месяцев назад

      🫂🫂🫂 We're learning and growing. I'm sending you so much love and joy! 💛🌻🌺

  • @annicks7385
    @annicks7385 2 года назад +8

    Also you’re glowing and you look very beautiful 🤩

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +1

      Awwwww! You're so sweet! Thank you so much!!! 🤗🥰💛🌺

  • @caroltncc
    @caroltncc 2 года назад +4

    This message is for me because I didn't like confrontation

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +1

      I completely understand. Confrontation is definitely not fun, but sometimes it's necessary. 💛💛💛 I see you and believe in you!

  • @tynishajohnson7353
    @tynishajohnson7353 4 месяца назад +1

    yessss sis fact u can forgive it takes time

  • @broquietstorm1266
    @broquietstorm1266 Год назад +1

    I think folks just parrot things they heard just to 'appear' more enlightened and not use their own inner thought process when evaluating things like you are doing, Sis.
    Equally important is approaching everything(and I mean everything)from a foundation of sincerity like I feel you are.
    Sincerity is the key missing. We can fake it when we outwardly express ourselves, but we can never fool ourselves or fake it when alone and face the truth of a situation. So much of today is being someone we are not, so we can 'make it' or 'advance'
    We ALL know ourselves. I'm talking about the Self that we know when noone is around to put on airs and be fake about. That Self is not some automation that can turn emotions off like a brand new, well-made water faucet. That's inhuman for someone to suggest that. Hence, my initial point of folks not speaking with true sincerity, just parroting words that fit the conversation.

  • @mine-345
    @mine-345 Год назад +1

    You are God sent sis, I'm just crying listening to you right now

  • @teriteri3543
    @teriteri3543 2 года назад +2

    I needed to hear this....I totally agree with you. I love that finally someone has speaken the truth about "forgiveness". God bless you baby!

  • @ladiepink
    @ladiepink 2 года назад +5

    Omg this was good !!

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +1

      Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! I'm so glad you resonated with this! ☺️💛🌺

  • @MsMaureen1975
    @MsMaureen1975 Год назад +1

    Thank you for this message, I agree with you, and I know it will help people.

  • @denise3432
    @denise3432 2 года назад +5

    This is confirmation for me! Thank you soo very much! ❤️

    • @AleciaRenece
      @AleciaRenece  2 года назад +1

      Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! That makes me SO happy! I'm so glad this confirmed what you already knew. That's exciting. Much love and joy to you! ☺️💛🌺🌻

  • @marika9460
    @marika9460 2 года назад +1

    Well said, thank you for this message. You have really articulated it well with what I experienced, and some people even demand the forgiveness from you. I chose me. Thank you for your words, it's Exactly what is in my heart needed to be said, it's a process, like the broken glass.

  • @vgb10dst
    @vgb10dst 2 года назад +4

    Sis, you're preaching!!!!

  • @MsMizz1
    @MsMizz1 2 года назад +1

    You’ve supported and inspired some much I didn’t know I needed to express for myself to myself, to others and to spirit. You’ve promoted so many healing journal entries. Thank you for your authenticity and courage. This is one of the safest, seen, encouraging, humbly bold places I’ve ever been. And it makes my heart for black women expand more than I knew it could. Bless you ❤

  • @valriepowell1612
    @valriepowell1612 Год назад

    Love your talk! Everything you said all FACTS! You hit the nail on the head 💯I am going through this exact situation with a friend. They fight like hell to defend themselves so they don’t have to feel any type of way for what they did.

  • @ExquisiteKinkyCoils
    @ExquisiteKinkyCoils 2 года назад

    Thank you for another beautiful, edifying, & essential message. It came right on time 🤗❤👏🏾!

  • @jazzy47827
    @jazzy47827 5 месяцев назад

    Healing Takes Time people

  • @MissAbha-c1j
    @MissAbha-c1j 5 месяцев назад +1

    Iam really struggling with unforgiveness my parents really hurt so bad that i don't know what to do bt i pray that God come through for me🙏🙏🙏🙏♥️♥️

  • @blackmage540
    @blackmage540 Месяц назад

    Really great video and well put. Thank you !!

  • @user-us2mh3cn1b
    @user-us2mh3cn1b Год назад

    YOU ARE AMAZING! THANK YOU FOR DHARING YOURSELF/PAGE!

  • @jazzy47827
    @jazzy47827 5 месяцев назад

    You Have A point
    Good Advice

  • @empress2020
    @empress2020 Год назад

    This meant so much to me this evening..❤

  • @perry2564
    @perry2564 Год назад

    Really needed to hear this today ❤ thanks for making this video

  • @singinginsominac2647
    @singinginsominac2647 Год назад

    I needed to hear this! Thank you.

  • @stink_meaner4124
    @stink_meaner4124 3 месяца назад

    Thank you so much for this….

  • @karlasanches2959
    @karlasanches2959 9 месяцев назад

    Thank you soo much for your words❤

  • @GladysGrace001
    @GladysGrace001 Год назад

    Thank you. I needed this.

  • @pinklotus9684
    @pinklotus9684 Год назад

    This hits hard for me.

  • @mspheadra
    @mspheadra 11 месяцев назад

    Thank you 😊

  • @jazzy47827
    @jazzy47827 5 месяцев назад +1

    Forgiveness Takes Time
    To forgive your Ex Boyfriend
    That Hurt you

  • @kadlacdixon-thedrawmylifep3293
    @kadlacdixon-thedrawmylifep3293 2 года назад +3

    ❤️...

  • @prosperousk5477
    @prosperousk5477 2 года назад +4

    ❤️❤️❤️

  • @hyunbinsdimple5803
    @hyunbinsdimple5803 Год назад

    💛🥹thank you.

  • @Mo.Is.Queendom774
    @Mo.Is.Queendom774 Год назад

    ❤❤❤yes

  • @jazzy47827
    @jazzy47827 5 месяцев назад

    Facts

  • @34missgreen
    @34missgreen 2 года назад +2

    💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

  • @footprintsinthesand2009
    @footprintsinthesand2009 Месяц назад

  • @mariciamundle4339
    @mariciamundle4339 9 месяцев назад +1

    It's truly a lie with these hypocrites in churches. Before God forgive us we have to confess and repent and turn away for him to forgive you. I am tired myself of these hypocrites.

    • @footprintsinthesand2009
      @footprintsinthesand2009 Месяц назад

      Luke 17:3-4 NKJV
      [3] Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. [4] And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, ‘I repent,’ you shall forgive him.”
      ✅️

  • @user-ej3nj5kd3j
    @user-ej3nj5kd3j Год назад +1

    Omygoodnessss 😭 I was just praying and saying God I feel like I forgiving them and it’s just the hurt from the situation that I’m feeling, so did I really forgive them? I felt led to go to RUclips and typed in “forgiveness and boundaries” and- 😮‍💨. Thank you for this video! 🫶🏽🥲

    • @mine-345
      @mine-345 Год назад

      I just the same words after making a prayer with self denial, What a coincidence! I feel you lol🥲