Multicultural Family in Sweden | Race and Language
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- Опубликовано: 29 авг 2024
- What is it like to raise a child when both parents have completely different backgrounds? We are sitting down to discuss heavy yet crucial elements when raising a child and growing as a family.
Man, Maya...you hit the jackpot with this man. What an open, sensitive, and compassionate man he is. For someone so young, he is very in-tune and knowing of his moral compass, integrity, and values. You and your daughter are in very good and loving hands. I wish you guys continued success, happiness, and peace with each other. I am a black American married with an Italian...my husband spoke only Italian with our daughter growing up (living in the States); it also helped that we took our 30-day "semester" every year to Italy to visit his parents/family. My daughter also had the opportunity to go to school in Bologna for 6 months. She is 25 yrs old now, and still quite fluent in Italian...so no worries. Namaste.
🙏🏾 you ain’t lying 🙏🏾💕
This is so true blessings to her yes. ❤️🇹🇹
He’s a diamond for sure I love their energies together
Beautiful wife you got there
I was thinking the same thing!
Suggestion about language- Maya should speak English and Max should speak Swedish then your daughter will actually have both languages. I’ve seen this work very well. I completely understand missing a family language.
English is obvious she'll learn it regardless ... they should speak their languages then she picks up even more
Language learning tip for parents:
You two could do one language one parent. So Max would talk exclusively in Swedish, and Maya, you would speak solely in English.
Please consider the language issue again when you know how a child benefits from having their parents speak their own mother tongue.
My mom does this with her husband, my little sister understands and speaks German because of her father. My mother speaks English, and I speak Spanish to my little sister. So she understands 3 languages at 3 years old. It’s possible 🙌🏽
Yes.. this is the absolute proven way to go. Maya speak English to her and Max only speak Swedish.
my parents actually did this with me and I apparently spoke 2 languages by the age of 2 lol.
Thank you everyone. As I’m pretty sure Saga will speak fluently in English regardless where in the world we are I will keep addressing her in Swedish 🇸🇪❤️
Max is a good interviewer. I like his line of questioning lol
Aaaahhaha I got carried away as an interviewer this time lol
As a mixed girl myself (hey girl heyyy!!!) I really appreciate this dialogue and critical awareness. I’ve been watching you since middle school and my heart couldn’t be more full for you. Your journey is amazing! I wish y’all nothing but the best 🥺🤍
Thank you so much for the love 🙏🏽🙏🏻
Hai
When talking about race in Europe, its good to speak to Black people (or POC) born and raised in Europe. People often see Europe as less racist and more tolerant but our voices as Black people and POC are heavily oppressed in all EU countries as EU doesnt like to talk about its colonial histories, subtle racism and the rise of xenophobia. Its scary. I am a Black woman born in the Netherlands. I recently opened a public archive on Black history in the Netherlands/Europe, located in Amsterdam.
Wow what’s it called! I’m a black Jamaican living in Luxembourg and searching for those spaces and resources. Good that you’re doing this! 🙌🏽
When you say heavily opressed in all EU countries what are you reffering to?
This video was so thoughtful. I am Black American and my husband is Norwegian and we live in Norway. I had the same experience as Maya. I thought I would feel more comfortable in the city but after a few prolonged visits to the countryside and small towns, I felt more at ease about potentially moving to such areas. I was scared to move outside of the city because I still had a very American mindset about what it means to be a black person in a predominantly white rural area, but more and more I see the countryside becoming diverse and the children in these areas being raised in safe environments. This has made us think about where we would like to actually buy a house in the future. I also believe that it is important to raise a child with good character and self-esteem first and that this will help them to navigate the world. As a black girl, I was bullied a lot so I can relate to being seen as different because of how I look, colorism is cruel. I hope that my experiences will help my future children navigate the world with self-love.
Come thru cute intro. I like it.
Also, as a bi-racial American woman who presents and identifies as a black, early on my parents focused on immersing me in my family’s cultures. My father is Jamaican and my mom is a white woman of French Canadian decent. The household was a Jamaican household with French sprinkled in. It wasn’t until I went to school and some kids asked if I was adopted that the concept of race entered the chat. I think having that initial foundation rooted in culture helped to give me a strong sense of identity and pride. I was never confused about who I was and who I came from, even when I was being teased or experiencing racism.
Love this. Absolutely love this. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏻🙏🏽
I feel as though there's so much division everywhere that no matter what ethnicity we are, an out of the box feeling is ever present. For instance, ethnically mixed Jamaican children experience feeling 'othered' due to skin tone and hair texture at home, whilst being identified as 'Black' in the west. For me, I realised I was Black later in life. The term was never used to identify my ethnicity as a Jamaican before. These boxes are definitely tiresome. I can't wait until we release them...but until then they're vital to learning about who we are.
Hello Domenique! I have a genuine question, why do biracial people (black + white) always identify with just the black race instead of biracial or even white race? Is it because of what society tells you, you should identify with or is it the race that you feel more aligned with?
All I’m going to say is that I’m glad Max doesn’t dismiss your feeling about race. That you have a partner that listens to you and not acting that race doesn’t play a part of your family dynamic. It’s very important to be as transparent as a family to grow with your little one.
I have always seen Maya as a nurturing being so she just flowed into motherhood, to me. I know that we are still getting to know Max but oh my. He has blossomed due to being a father. This is so amazing to watch. Thank you for sharing your journey, with us.
Thank you for the love ❤️🙏🏻🙏🏽
Many blessings on your new journey and née family! This is a very great conversation and I’d just like to add (from an African-American perspective) to just focus on loving your daughter and create the comfort zone and confidence at home. In the US, and especially in the “South” where we’re from, the “poison” of speaking about black, white, etc. is a real phenomenon embedded in the mindsets of everyone. With that said, try your best to teach your daughter about all of the cultures that make her so special and teach her English and Swedish at home. Allow her to not even relate to that ignorant U.S. mindset and I can say this because I’m exposed to it everyday 🤗
Absolutely love this conversation. My husband and I live in Greece (both African American) and are now having a baby here in Greece. We have been trying to articulate to our family and friends the difference of how white and black are not just blanket descriptions of individuals in Europe. As well as battling the rude individuals from our internal thoughts of “is this is racism” due to our experiences in the US. Again just a great dialogue. Thank you both.
I'm Half Venezuelan half Swiss and look really white, living in Germany. I think the consideration of what is white to me, is more about the privilege that I experience, the fact that I have not to worry to be taking serious most of the time, I can even be average at something and still get opportunities. My sister that looks much more Latina does feel the pressure to work harder and kind of prove that she deserves the chances and to be taken seriously. Our Family name sounds really Swiss and I never had to explain my self for it, but my sister always got ask "oh your married to a Swiss guy?" it might sound small but it has an effect.
You recognizing it, is half the battle. So many still in 2021 deny it even exists.
@@lady4real75 I think the fact that she can see and empathize with her sister's struggle even though it is not hers is the great thing about her story. If others could follow suit it would make a huge, world of difference.
@@b.williams9473 absolutely! I was raised by a father, who was the baby of 8, born in 1938 in Meridian, Mississippi, so I know what happen in the south. My Grandfather brought his family to los angeles in the early 50's to get away from Jim Crowe....
This is thee comment!
It does very true
As a multiethnic person that identifies as Black racially, this is so fascinating! And it’s wonderful how willing Max is to just listen rather than center himself.
IMO, the conflation of race, ethnicity, and nationality is what keeps Americans ignorant. White as an “identity” has shifted over time, enlarging who gets considered (for ex: Irish and Italian wasn’t considered White originally and now is but Bhagat Singh Thind, and Indian man who went to court to be considered White to gain citizenship on claims that he’s Caucasian from the caucus region, was denied), to keep a white supremacist majority of political power based on skin color. It makes it easier to do a Black/ White “Us vs Them” to keep things divided, and it’s troublesome that European politicians are picking up this trend with immigration for a fear of losing power or way of life. The only constant is change and that’s what makes cultures exciting and vibrant!
Appreciated this conversation. It’s true that the US has so much influence, and in some cases, it’s honestly unfortunate to see how quickly other countries are adopting American labels and “lenses” at the expense of their unique attributes.
There's just something between the two of you that I find intriguing. As a couple you seem so genuine, warm, earnest, kind and loving. From the way you two look at each other to the smile on Maya's face when she looks at Saga. I like seeing those things. I found the explanation of ethnicity to be interesting. It makes sense that you wouldn't describe a German man as a white guy. Being in the U.S and born and raised in Florida as a black person. I thoroughly enjoyed being around Latinos, Jamaicans, Haitians and Trinidadian people. Then I moved to Oklahoma. I met people from Ethiopia, Samoa, Japan, Russia, Nigeria, the Philippines, Estonia, Germany, New Zealand, Italy and other countries. I enjoyed learning about other cultures. I think there is so much that we can learn from one another. At the same time there is so much to unlearn or let go of meaning racism, division and strife. Thank you for making this video. Saga is such a cutie. I wish you all the best as a family.
I am Korean and African american; my husband is white (american). Our daughter will have a totally different experience than either of us, but I know I want to always be open about race and culture so that regardless she feels loved. I would live to say that hopefully she has a different experience where race and ethnicity doesn't matter, but here in the U.S., that doesn't seem to be an issue we have fixed yet.
Love this conversation so much. I am black (first generation West Indian), and my husband is white (first generation Scottish and British). Together we have raised two amazing children into young adult hood here in British Columbia, Canada. We had a conversation regarding which race or cultural background they identify with most (if they do at all), and hands down, they said with the black side of them. My daughter went on to explain..."Nobody sees me and thinks that I am white " with her darker complexion and curly hair, therefore, she is more prone to and has experienced overt racism and racial bias. Because of this, she and her brother identify strongly with the black side of them yet call themselves "mixed race." It is a natural thing to them, but I often feel badly that they do not have an emotional or cultural connection with their dad's heritage.. My son says..."If we go to Scotland...No One looks at me, and says I'm Scottish or have Scottish heritage", therefore the feeling of not belonging is strong even in a country where they have cultural ties! SIGH!!
I’m from Portugal. My parents are both mixed. I was born in Africa so growing up in Portugal it went like this. Nationality: Portuguese. Ethnicity: African (specific ethnic group). In Portugal we actually don’t like referring to people as colours. It’s offensive and racist. The only place in Europe I’ve found where they’re comfortable with calling people white or blank is France and the UK.
I'm an African-American living in South Africa, and I totally get the re-learning of broad labels. I am asked almost daily what I am. African Americans mostly identify culturally more than geographically (origin-wise) for obvious reasons, but it is an experience to be surrounded by different cultures who identify geographically with the region they're native to. I am referred to as 'colored' often, with that being the descriptive word for all who are seemingly mixed race here, but the conversation of race and origin is a constant occurrence.
Hey Lauren! What made you move to South Africa and would you recommend other African Americans to move there?
Fascinating and thank you for sharing. ❤️
This is all so interesting. I’m Black ( African American) and live in the UK. Even here, people say I’m mixed race and I’m like no, I’m Black lol (both my parents are black). Meeting so many other people, I now realized how unique the Black American experience is.
@@Ginjerbred Black Americans are mixed. We just crazy from all that has happened in the U.S. from the treatment to the policies including the one drop rule. The real black people are not confused and some have even stated that we are not them. But they can't say that they are 30 % Nigerian and 25% white or Irish and a bunch of other stuff in between. They know who they are. We don't know who we are. We are Americans. This broken mentality has led to our claims in the U.S. being dispersed out to everyone but us.
I’m South African. Coloured people are still considered black but with a mixed race experience. Similar to the creole culture in Louisiana. There are those who do not identify as black because of the apartheid’s (segregation) anti black narrative and the connotations that to be black is less than…so they celebrate and acknowledge more their proximity to whiteness or asian even though they are 70% African. So it’s all a social construct depending where you come from.
I love how plantain availability is a universal measure of how diverse an area is! as to your question about what is considered white - nationality, ethnicity and race are different. Sometimes North Americans mix up them up but people can share a race and be completely different ethnicities. A Spaniard and an Albanian are both white but ethnically very different. Just like Maya and I are both black but her ethnic background is African American and mine is African (+ my ethnic tribes.) Similarly, Maya and someone from Malaysia are both Asian but from different Asian ethnic groups.
Thank you for the clarification. A lot of people are confused about these areas of classification.
I pray that the human race gets better with this type of dialogue. We are all mixed with all types of beautiful colors🙏🏾
Agreed! Oddly enough, I’ve literally never seen a black or white being in this realm -I’ve seen a black being but, only in my vision/dreams.
I share your prayers.
To Max: Your English is actually really good. To Maya: I remember when you did the typhoon fundraiser for the Philippines back in 2012/2013. Your Tagalog was near-perfect!
Im Filipino and hubby is African and raising kids in both cultures here in Toronto as well 😊 I think passing on traditions and celebrations that you love from your cultures is really important as well as teaching your children about your family’s and country’s histories (currently trying to learn more about pre colonial Philippines myself). When talking about race we focus more on colonialism. Loved how your mom focused on character and work ethic 🇵🇭🇨🇦
This is amazing. thank you so much for sharing ❤️❤️
I cannot say enough about the honesty, love, cultural awareness, maturity and oneness expressed in this video. ADMIRABLE
I always find it so weird how Americans define race - Being an island girl from the Caribbean which is super mixed, we identify with the country we are from and the culture we were brought up with instead of the color of our Skin. I am so happy to hear how you guys plan to bring Saga up (More culture-based than race) - Love you guys!!
I appreciate this conversation on so many levels. As a black American woman I love and appreciate diversity. I grew up in the Northeast (NY & NJ) and was exposed to so many different cultures. I enjoy learning about different people and their from. What’s interesting about today’s topic is how to raise your mixed-raced multicultural child. I agree that is should be based on her experience and not something that is forced. I’m loving the content on this channel and learning a lot. Can’t wait to see what you guys produce next
I remember visiting my cousins in Malmö, and they had a hard time understanding why I answered the question from one local of "where are you from?'"with "I'm from Canada" (I'm ethnically Somali, born and raised in Canada). They told me despite being born and raised in Sweden, they were always told in school that they're not 'real' swedes and grew up feeling less entitled to claiming belonging. My response to them was that Canada is an imagined identity made by settlers and immigrants and not a real ethnic group, and that everyone apart from indigenous peoples aren't native to the land. As a result, I don't feel a sense of 'they belong here more than me', so whenever an ignorant European Canadian told me to 'go back to my country' I'd tell them to go back to Europe lol. I say that to say, having lived in the UK for some time in my adulthood and travelled parts of Western and Northern Europe, a recurring message I got firsthand or from black people I met scattered across these countries was that people who look like us don't belong and can never be 'real' french, dutch, swedish, etc. Racism in Europe has a distinct flavour that really unsettles one's sense of belonging...because at least in Canada I can comeback with 'go back to Europe!' lol
We can workshop some responses! The first that came to mind was, “I’ll go back when your country returns the wealth it stole…” something like that…
@@sophiacarryl Lol! But there's something phenomenal that happens when you tell a racist Canadian (or American) to go back to Europe. It rattles them in a way I never see them get rattled. I guess displacing them from the centre of the continent's origin is disorienting. I don't know what rebuttal would have that same effect with a xenophobic/racist European tho 🤔
I am a Filipino (grew up in the UK) and my husband is Irish, we are raising our now 2 yr old in New Zealand. Thank you for this conversation it is so interesting as I've have so many talks with my husband on this. All our family is on the other side of the world, and with that so is his parents' "culture"! My parents also did not speak Tagalog to me growing up. Similar to you guys, I aim to encourage our son to see and experience the cultures here in NZ (Māori, Samoan, Tokelauan etc) as well as expose him to what we're able to of Irish and Filipino.. but really for him to see that there's an entire world of cultures that exists and we all can relate, enjoy, learn from, and in some way be or feel part of. I have my own trauma from racism in the UK and find NZ to be a lot more accepting of different and mixed cultures, which i understand now as a Mum how much of a priority that is. In terms of raising him culturally, I know there is incredible richness to experience and grow with here and where our travels may take us whether it's 'our' culture or not ❤️
Interesting conversation. As a mixed race person myself I think that in order to thrive you need an environment that reflects you. As a child I was not surrounded by many people who looked like me, my local (white)culture didn't offer any references about multiracial families and there was racism around me both over and hidden (which is actually worse). It was tough because as a child you dont quite know how to protect yourself against ignorance, particularly if there is no conversation about race and identity in the family. I found that multicultural environment is the one that works for me and I want such experience for my children. Living in a melting pot of cultures makes if easier to 'breathe' and find relatable people and experiences. Though that requires an effort as well - finding these communities, having conversations with people with similar background and seeking out culture relevant to mixed experience is what helped me. If I was in your position I'd try to connect with other mixed fams and seek info celebrating mixed families for the little one as she gets older. My two cents :-)
🥴 After high school I took some gap time and moved to Europe. Lived mainly in northern Italy and Rome. Chhiiilllleeeeeee by the end of my experience I ALWAYS had to carry my blue American passport to be served or had to have a white friend with me. Was constantly questioned if I were a refugee or if I had money. Never going to Spain again after leaving my passport at home one day and almost ending up in a refugee detention center. It was then I learned racism is the same everywhere for Black people outside of sub-Saharan Africa, especially dark skinned. But I'm glad Max is becoming more aware, because I know many Europeans have never had to address race because other races didn't cohabitate with them growing up.
Yes, had similar experiences with friends I met while living in the South of France. Myself and my other Black American friends never had issue doing things as simple as getting into clubs bc our accent was pass enough. But some of our African friends used to ask us to accompany them to the clubs bc on any given night a bouncer could decide to demand their papers or ask other inappropriate questions to deny their entrance. NEVER have I ever had to prove citizenship to get into a club and it was so angering to see this behavior.
Agreed..dark skinned people experience alot of racism in most places.. its easy for people who are lighter or white to say that in Europe there is more focus on culture but it just isnt true.. until you open your mouth and speak whatever language fluently alot of people do judge and discriminate.. its terrible..
I’ve never really put my life experience as the way Maya did. “A black woman growing up in Asian culture” me too! I had a black woman experience growing up in Native American culture
I’m from English speaking country and married to a Dane. We have two children and from the beginning we decided that I would talk English to them and my husband danish to them. Our girls are fluently in both and have French and German at school.
This is 💯 real .., loving the purity, honesty and love ❤️ in this conversation 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Thank you for the support. Glad you enjoyed the conversation 🙏🏻🙏🏽
I have a beautiful son whose mixed. We live in the US but my husband is Armenian and I’m black from the Caribbean. My husband’s Armenian family were very welcoming and inviting towards me and my son. My mother was the snub in this picture. But my son became aware of color when he started school in the US. The children in his camp which was predominantly white made him feel inferior and he questioned me about being black. As a mom and as the black parent this was a swift kick in the gut. My son often picked the white side of his race although he looks black. It’s a strange and crippling feeling to grapple with as a parent in a mixed household. When they are babies they are so precious and are color blind, but when you have to let them out of the den and into the jungle the reality will be real and at times painful. But as parents you have to nurture love and truth and acceptance into their heart, that they grow up to value all 50 shades of their life, as precious gems that makes them who they are.
I think that in Sweden people usually go by origin, not race, when discussing ethnicities and cultures, like you guys said. I know myself, i’m a straight up Swedish guy, and i don’t think i ever refered to someone by their race until very recently. I think refering to people by race might have become more common in the recent years thanks to the influence of American media and pop culture. When talking about things like politics with friends and family we’ve always called non-Swedes in Sweden ”immigrants” regardles of race. Or we call them by their place of origin or by what we asume is their place of origin like ”turk”, ”arab”, ”African”, ”Yugoslavian”, ”russian”, ”Finnish”, and so on. Maybe it’s just me and my accuaitances who do that but i’m pretty sure that most people in Sweden don’t go by race. Then again that might have changed now, i don’t know. I’m 22 years old so maybe things have changed and people care more about race now, i don’t know, but i don’t think so.
Also: when it comes to what ethnic Swedes think about the increasing number of foreigners in Sweden i think it depends on the person. If you are a teenager or a young adult i don’t think you care too much. Most of us born in and around the year 2000 are used to seeing people from all different backgrounds and interacting with them and are getting along with each other for the most part. But for older people that might not always be the case. I think most older Swedes are okay with the increasing multiculturalism as well but there are also a bit more people who are not okay with it among the people who are like 40 - 50 years old and upwards. The old folks usually grew up on farms, in small villages or in small to medium sized towns and didn’t see many, if not any, foreigners growing up (except maybe one italian guy making pizzas down the street) and thus some of them don’t know how to react to the growing multiculturalism and therefore they some might develope some hostility towards non-Swedes.
These are just my observations but the again, i’m ethnically Swedish, and my experience will most likely be verry different from some non-Swedish person so take it with a grain of salt. Maybe you guys could perhaps talk to an older lady or gentleman of foreign background and ask them? I think they would have a verry different perspective on race, ethnicity, immigration, etcetera then i have and it’d probably be much more enlightening
The reason why I love this channel..
Seeing real people..as they are..life as I believe most of us want..Free.
Many blessings to you all
I'm Haitian-American my husband is Irish (born/raised in Dublin) and we will be raising our family in Ireland. And we have these conversation all the time and I've made it a point to have it BEFORE we have kids so we can be in the right mindset in raising our mixed raced kid in Ireland. Like you said about the swedish, the natives in Ireland are white so whiteness is "indigenous" and in some way confusing to compare american whiteness with other particular European countries. There's a lot we have talked about and it is new for my husband who has never talked about it before and it's opened our minds and has strengthened our relationship!!
You're hitting lots of topics that I would love to have coffee or tea and chat about it all with you!!
Anyway hope you baby and hubby are well! Peace!
Im biracial, born and raised in Sweden. My experience with race in Sweden is that it is extremely racist. Swedes are more shy and not so outspoken, so if you encounter a racist here, you will more likely be able to tell by their actions and not their words.
On the other hand, when I was younger the racism was more verbal, maybe because it used to be more accepted?
I have countless times witnessed my mom (which is kenyan) get mistreated. This happens on a daily basis, whilst my dad has just always blended in, eventhough he is from Finland.
I highley agree that Swedes look up to the US and I think that your english accent serves as a tool to put you in a higher position in this country’s society. If you for example had a accent from africa or the middle east, you’d be labeled as something they would connect with negative thoughts.
Maya there is so many things I can touch on when it comes to this subject, I could probably write a book. I have watched your videos since way back and it gave me someone to relate to whilst growing up, since no one looked like me here. Truly inspiring!
Saga is such a blessing! Can’t wait to see more!
Yes, I agree, the Scandinavian countries are racist in a way that is very indiscreet, which makes it even more scary. Here your level of privilege is what will get you through it. You hit the nail on the head when you mentioned that Maya is English-speaking. Big advantage. Also when I think about Black friends in Denmark who are originally from UK or US gives them far more advantage than people from Somalia, Nigeria, Ghana, Uganda etc. Scandinavians view their culture closer to UK, US and Canada compared to African countries, they feel they have more in common. People I know from the Caribbeans have a way of blending in quite fast, faster than any other minority group I've seen, again it could be related to culture or assimilation. Anyway so much to touch upon on this topic.
I'm disappointed to hear that the Scandinavian countries isn't as progressive as it had been made to seem. At least not when it comes to race relations.... Well at least I'm not hearing about a whole system based off to keep a certain race oppressed or extreme violence towards a certain group over there.
I would love to hear how you went about racism, how you gained your self esteem, I want to hear it all Amanda! Iam raising biracial kids in Sweden i need some tips pls
I’m curious to hear about the role colorism plays in the lived experience of Swedish people. Do you have any insights on that?
Also, are there any psych- and sociology studies suggesting that people I’m Sweden experience social interactions and mobility based on where they are from geographically more than culturally.
I’m usually very skeptical when people differentiate the role of race/ethnicity in the lives of US Americans v. Non-US Americans, here Swedish people. Almost like melanin concentration plays no role in accessibility and “ease” in life. But then you look at statistics, eg who owns majority of the wealth, who occupies positions of power, who has access to great healthcare, and it often looks identical to the USA…intersectionalities (sp?) and all…
Spain and Italy are just as nasty
I'm a black American man who's lived in Stockholm for 18 years and I don't separate the US from Europe since it was Europeans who created the concept of race. Sweden had ⅓ of the population move to the US and that means that it wasn't a far off place that was ignorant or aware of racism. Anyway you all's daughter is the absolute cutest and as a parent of two Swedish/American children I'm rooting for you all.
Love this and thank you for sharing. Again, it’s hard to speak on a subject since it’s always information + personal experience that is missing. However we love entering territories that we understand are sensitive yet powerful and we do it with humbleness and an open mind.
Speaking of the Swedish who migrated I remember first learning about it reading “the emigrants” by Vilhelm Moberg. Need to dive deeper into that history 🙏🏻
Can really relate! I am half Moroccan half Dutch, living on Swedish countryside with my Swedish partner. Like you Maya, sometimes I can't help but think: 'Is this person being racist?' when I am being mistreated for no reason. But unlike you, I feel this more on the countryside. I feel more like "the different girl", but that also has to do with the language barrier! I really loved this video guys! So great to not just assume that it's the same in Europe as the US, and to have an open conversation instead ❤
As a parent raising 2 mixed kids(Iam from Uganda, dad swedish) I always wanted to focus on anything else than race in our family but, My 2 yr old started asking me questions why she is black, why she dont have long hair ,etc so I just had to focus on race a Lil bit more. So Maya you cannot avoid that my dear .Its gonna come up one way or the other
Saga is absolutely precious!
She's a beauty when she choose to 😂😂
We did the one parent, one language, me portuguese and and daddy English… it worked for us 🇧🇷 💕 🏴
Interesting convo, I appreciate it, and I think most parents know what is best for their child. I will say this regarding language and race, as a Toronto-born and Denmark-raised mixed person: It makes sense to want your child to speak a different language at home, in your case English, than the native tongue to enrich her culturally and linguistically. Just be mindful if you decide to do this. As a teacher I have some children in my class who speak a different language at home and they have problems with writing and meanings in the native language. It can also have something to do with the individual child. During my own schooling I had a classmate in elementary who had parents from two different cultures and she learned both languages as well as Danish, German, English. So it can be done. I would just add, as a person who grew up with two mother tongues (English and Danish) to emphasize that the child at least can master one language completely and not two languages only halfway. In terms of race, I think it's important that your child knows about her heritage. I had to educate myself about my Trinidadian roots as an adult, which would have given me so much more pride, joy and confidence if I had known more as a child. I was already proud to be Canadian. Culture and our heritage - our ancestors - are important. You should never feel awkward by touching on the subject of race as it's a real lived experience in the world. I was lucky to go to an elementary school that was very international, with children of different ethnicities and from different cultures, that made me not question my race very often growing up. I was protected in that sense. The schools only became whiter the older I got, of course that's much different today. Representation is everything, so if your daughter can go to a daycare/school with kids and caretakers/teachers from different backgrounds I'm sure it will strengthen her self-esteem. That was my rant and two cents.
This conversation was so open and honest. I felt so seen 🥺💕
I love how you guys think out loud… so much to unpack… would take a lifetime! She will just be Saga and that’s perfect!
i feel like in Europe, culture tends to be more emphasized than ethnicity. being raised in Sweden she will be culturally Swedish. I'm black/white, raised partially in Germany and I consider myself culturally German because that's how I was raised. I didn't care about my race until my family moved to America where the emphasis is placed so heavily on your ethnicity.
It’s so true , when it comes to “black people” In the USA. For instance, I work in the medical field and to help with health disparities they asked us to ask what race and ethnicity is the patient. They have sooooo much options for “ white people” ie sweden or Latin but when it comes to someone who says they are black literally it’s one option “African American/ black” which they are not the same. It’s too much *sigh. I do not like asking those questions but they literally force us too
to add to the discussion of the broad paintbrush of the terms “black” and “white”, we do have to remember that race is a social construct that was created from colonialism from european countries. so while as expats living abroad (myself included), we can notice that one’s nationality trumps one’s race as an identifier and can be somewhat “refreshing”, we have to remember that this is mostly in places where the ethnically recognized group was the majority (i.e. europe is ethnically caucasian, africa is ethnically black, and asia is ethnically asian). meaning, sure those terms don’t carry the same weight as say in america or london since these groups never had to think about someone’s specific life experience based on their racial markers, but as the world begins to diversify and more international relationships form creating more offspring to result in cities like toronto, these terms are going to have to addressed and the social construct of race is going to have to be looked at through the lens of a 21st century perspective.
ruclips.net/video/6n5O0Ht_vLk/видео.html
What lucky baby to have people like you for her parents. She is going to have the time of her life.
This is amazing!! I tried to talk to my ex about it and he would shut down and say he didn't see colour. I'm black jamaican British living in Canada and it was hard for me here, I faced a lot of racism, my ex was white European Canadian, but here for 3 generations. Hearing you both, makes me excited to meet an aligned partner, especially when having children!!!
I agree maya as a European I was raised around cultures and ethnicity not white as an everyone is like this and couldn't understand it in Canada, because their not native to here... anyway another great video!!! Thank you 🥰❤🌅
Maya- your “mommy glow” is everything! I always thought you were so beautiful and that mom glow is enhancing it. Additionally, multiethnic/multiracial people have always fascinated me because they can’t be replicated; so unique. Congratulations to you and Max again!
I really appreciated how raw and open and honest this chat was. Even if there were fumbles- it’s amazing to witness people sharing their full selves. Thank you both 💗
Love this conversation and the diverse perspectives in the comments section. We need to have more of these conversations. ❤️
My daughters came from two different cultures; American & Cuban! English was spoken more at our home, but at their grandparents home, spanish only! As parents we have the responsibility to make sure & encourage. our children to experience. both cultures. We know that learning languages start from the day they are born & also teaching them different languages we start them early. They pick it up very quickly! As long as we love, nuture & support our children growing up, they will have a happy life. Yes, they will experience. prejudice growing up, but they will have a strong foundation to handle it well! Blessed Sunday!
First off, I'm digging Max's outfit, the pink hat & vest! 👌 I completely understand where Maya is coming from, I'm Chinese but my parents were born and raised in India and Pakistan. So when I tell anyone my background, they automatically think I'm Indian and I say no, I'm Chinese. My elementary school teachers thought I was a immigrant because I didn't speak English. I grew up hearing my parents speaking Chinese, English and Hindi. I had my baby girl 6 months ago and she's mixed too. Down the road, everyone is most likely going to be mixed and its a beautiful thing! 🥰💖 Also I'm loving the new intro! 😁👏
I must say that while I agree that race is more of an emphasis in North America; race relations and race identity is still heavily engrained in European countries. Especially now with the rise in xenophobia, anti-immigration laws and Europe beginning to reckon with its colonial past (and present). I also feel like the voices of BIPIC Europeans haven’t been so focal during these discussions. Being black from the Caribbean I’ve spoken to countless black Europeans who also mention the struggles they experienced being Black in predominantly white spaces and the difficulties in eg. Being a black German. Race is still very much a thing here it just shows up differently. Anyways, this was such a beautiful conversation to watch; I love the critical and open conversations you’re having as a couple and know parents 💕🙌🏽
Love the fact that you guys are so open. I’ve had similar experiences. Im African American, Puerto Rican and Irish. I’m also from Wisconsin (US), born in Milwaukee, I dealt with no racism, it’s a melting pot. But as soon as I moved 200 miles north to Green Bay. I’ve dealt with racism a lot. From predominantly Caucasian individuals treating me like crap. But I think they do t like that my fiancé is Caucasian (German) and him being with a black “woman”. It’s so weird and eye opening. But once ppl get to know me, they see different. I wish ppl were colorblind like me. I love everyone, because we are all differently beautiful. Love the videos, keep them coming.
I totally understand Maya when she spoke about explaining to people your black American. I was living in London at the time and a man asked me where I was from and my heritage and I told him I was Black American and he was like “ yeah but where are you from? I told him originally Georgia.“ lol I had to just break down and tell him in America my family were slaves so I don’t know where I come from in Africa and that finally ended the conversation because he just couldn’t get it.
Now I live on the border of New York in a very diverse small city. I love it! I intend to stay here as my base in America and buy a small bungalow. But I do intend on moving back to Europe and renting out my house as an investment and vacation home for when I want to visit New York. Racism is everywhere but I was treated much better overseas as a black woman than here in America.
Saga is a darling 🥰
One thing I would like to add to this conversation stems from something Max stated and that was, his role as a bystander because he doesn’t know what it is like to have that lived experience. And although I can understand and respect his perspective, it triggered me a little. And of course, this is from my lived experience. I find it to be sadly shared amongst most “white” ppl to play the role of the bystander when it comes to this topic. And to me this is why we aren’t making the progress that we should (I’m in the USA) because often times whites (no matter where they come from) feel as if they have nothing to add or no real role to play in change. And they do, if anything the genre known as white, in my opinion, has the biggest responsibility in this that can actually cause some fantastic changes for generations to come. But if they keep feeling they are just bystanders, it will take us a lot longer to heal and understand each other for all of our amazing differences and similarities.
this is the way of the world. Multi cultural families and babies of mixed race. I think it is great that children learn many languages and cultures. Teach your baby 3 languages if you can. It's wonderful 💜
I am always taken aback by the American need for categorising people by their skin color. I am born and raised in Sweden and I see people from all over the world here, all different ethnicities and skin colors - but that is something that I and many people with me VERY rarely even reflect on. Yeah sure I can see my hair is blond, yours is black, her eyes are green, his are brown... same old same old, we're all different but the concept of "race" is very unfamiliar to me, and I think many Swedes are with me on that.
In fact Maya, I didn't see you as a black woman until you said it in one of your videos a few months back and I was like "Huh... yeah I guess she's right". It had not crossed my mind at all! I think that it's good people can embrace these labels/races if they want to as part of their identity, but I also think it segregates people because it forces people stop and think and it tells people we're different - even though we really aren't.
This was a lovely conversation between you two . Max came out the gate with a great question. I really enjoyed this!! I am living in the US. I was born in England to Jamaican parents, so I understand the need for communication on these topics. Saga will be amazing,!!! Being Saga will be perfect no matter where she is in the world.
Culture vs ethnicity. I choose culture. Labels are demeaning. Thank you Max and Maya for sharing your experiences :)
The amount of beauty y’all are!!! 🤩 I love hearing this conversation and Max’s outfit. Always wishing you guys the best 💐☀️
You all have sparked some internal questions for myself, that I had never thought of. I am biracial and an American. I present as black and I identify as mixed, as to not negate the very important role and influence that my mother, who is Caucasian had upon me. However, as an American we are in a very antiquated system that does not allow for such exploration with regards to race, ethnicity or nationality as you all have addressed today. I will definitely get more into the educational part of race and identity, outside of the US. I guess I could chalk it up to be ingrained arrogance that I believe many of us unknowingly carry with us, as being Americans. THANK YOU BOTH!
Omg she is literally Max's twin... So precious ❤️😍
This will be my second christmas in Sweden this year. I moved here to Sweden because of love. Originally im from Germany. We are expecting our first child atm now. Our plan is baby daddy is speaking swedish to the child ( so as his family which is living close by), and i will talk german to the child. ( so our child is able to connect with my family in Germany as well)
When we are together we will do our swenglish / english.
To the culture and race part, even as i blend in well with my skin color,i still feel some kind of distance( probably mostly from my own side). We germans are efficient and work work work, so Fika was totally new to me ( and still bothers me when im in my work flow).
Its so nice to watch your vlogs since it reminds me a lot what we are experience since 2 years now.
( oh Maya, i totally could feel your brain hurting by the word försäkringskassan and skatteverket. It felt the same for me too x)
You guys will be fine and she’ll be good. The fact that you guys aren’t afraid of difficult discussion is great!
I'm french speaking and my wife is english speaking, so when our son grew up, I would only speak english to him, but my wife would only speak french, and because they were learning together it was easier. And we are now all bilingual.
Love watching these videos. Being pregnant with our first baby and being an international couple brings up these same questions and thoughts for us. So much to digest!!!
I'm an African American woman in North America. I know NOTHING about where my family came from or what I actually am. I think coming from ancestors of slaves brought here from our homeland, we were the first to experience identity theft. So naturally most AA people know nothing about their heritage other than what is taught to them in school. My boyfriend is Native American and Dominican. He knows almost everything about his family heritage, I love that he knows a lot about his native American side, it's so beautiful and I wish I knew more about the African side of me. We decided to instill in our kids in the future the background of who they are, the culture and history as well as the languages of both the native and African tribes of where we came from. So much of who we are is lost, but it's up to us as parents to bring that back into the family unit. I think your family unit is so beautiful. I love hearing about the realness of starting and being in a relationship and starting a family. It's very eye opening. You two are going to be great parents. Saga is so blessed ♥️
But does he know anything about his Afro side? Or is the Native American focus an undercover way to side step that? I mean he’s Dominican from the DR right🤔😉
Yes I think I have become quite accustomed to being able to simple identify as being Black in America with no need for additional “justification” (I.e. “from where”). I am Black American and Caribbean but growing up in the States means I’m more American culturally than Caribbean and associate more with it for different reasons. It was quite frustrating moving to France and having that be such a persistent question. But it’s also an interesting conversation for how race, ethnicity, and nationality are viewed around the world
I am mixed and I do understand where you are coming from. You both have a great understanding of how you want to raise your child. No matter what you will be there for her and that is what really matters. You both are doing great with her!!!!
Interesting conversation, it will be great to do a follow up in a few years. Being in the Netherlands, I have experience acceptance as well as experience racism. It’s hurtful but I try to not let it define my experience living here. Saga is so previous and as always have a great great day!
Yes yes yes. Let’s let this conversation be the root as we will continue to grow and learn 🍂❤️
Unfortunately there are idiots and @## holes in every country. I also live in the Netherlands but am white so after i learned dutch I blended in and I've experienced some wierd xenophobic moments, having a friendly conversation until they realized that I'm not dutch..... On the other hand 99.5% of people don't care were your from and treat you the same as every other person.
@@sees9267 what is that supposed to mean? This has nothing to do with music.
I appreciate this conversation. I’m African American, my fiancé is from Malawi. We’re both black but have very different life experiences. We talk about moving around, and I want to be open minded about where we live but I’m someone who is not well traveled and sometimes fear living outside of the US, but I can say you have inspired me to be open minded and also open minded about our future children and what they will experience in life in term of their culture and where they grow up. Merging your life with another person from a different place in the world is such a beautiful thing.
I live in germany and my dad is from america, my mom from germany, and i am still soo sad, that my mom do not teached me to learn perfect english at home because the guys from kindergarden told my mom not to teach to speak german and english at the same time, because it is „too difficult“ for a little child….
German, Swedish, American, Canadian are nationalities aka where you have citizenship.
In the US, depending on region “Black from where” can still be extremely relevant because because Black immigrants have been coming to the US since at least the ‘60s.
Kudos to you guys having this conversation as a couple. I’m Panamanian and African-American (Both of my parents are racially Black tho different nationalities and ethnicities) and my partner is Finnish American on both sides, raised in a Finnish community in New England - we’re always having conversations about race, ethnicity, culture etc. He talks a lot about the Sami indigenous community so it was pretty cool to hear them brought up here too. Anyway, we will be parents soon (woohoo!) and we’re both curious about supporting each other and also the identity of our little one as the world desires to define them but also the cultural qualities we want to instill in them which will come from a blend of our racial, ethnic backgrounds. We’re also assuming this little one will be teaching us about the world through their lived experiences as well. ❤
Exactly. I didn’t know to classify people as black of white until I moved to the U.S. In Jamaica you are where you’re from. Chinese (Asian), Indian, German Jamaicans are all Jamaicans.
I am so interested in peoples cultures and where they come from, and I believe knowing where we come from can make us more connected and knowledgeable. I really like the idea of instead of saying white/black, going deeper into where someone grew up for example.
As a mixed mommy with both mixed looking and white passing children it's important for the children to have a solid understanding of their identity and who they are! My Mom emersed us in both cultures and my Husband and I have continued that for our children. When asked I want them to feel confident when they explain why the look like they look, who they are, and why they may not look like their siblings. If they have a good understanding I feel it helps in their own confidence and self identity personally. People who aren't familiar will always ask, and that's okay if they're curious or find her look intriguing. And Maya, I see you in Saga too! It's hard for some to see past her lighter features but I think she favors Mommy a lot too! 💕
I didn’t realize there’s indigenous people in Sweden. Max mentioned the name of the people’s. But Maya seemed to misunderstand what her husband was saying. Just as North America has indigenous people, so does Sweden. So the “Swedish” people must have migrated there.
The Sami people are the indigenous people of Scandinavia. Research their history. Lots of racism there
@@LThompsonLisa thank you so much! I will definitely research the Sami people!!
@@tierraharris8310 and if you want to take it steps further, Sweden was one country that had an organization to study race and eugenics. State Institute for Racial Biology. So racism, in whatever form, is not rare...just evolved into something different
I hope the world gets better in the sense of color viewing. Your child will be growing up in a new world of a better but different love than us💜
Me and my husband are both form Colombia (spanish speaking language) but we both speak english and because we know how important is to speak this language we decided that I (stay at home mom) would speak spanish and he would speak in English to our son, right from the beginning, 5 years later my son speaks both languages excellently. In your case speaking english may be better suited for dad so that you may practice swedish.
Thank you both. I appreciate this video so much. I am in a similar situation moving from London, UK to Switzerland and find most people (in the area I reside) claiming not to speak English when they actually speak good enough for me to understand. And I agree, this is definitely down to confidence. My 15 month old biracial daughter is exposed to Swiss German at Kita and we speak English with her at home. Just realising how much she already understands in both languages is mind blowing. I hope both our girls grow to be confident ladies with an amazing sense of self. Enjoy the ride that is parenthood abroad. 🤗
I love that you are sharing both of your thoughts on how Saga will be raised in Sweden.
The construct of whiteness doesn’t “work” in the US - let’s be super clear. It was intentionally created as a way to segregate people (and is still used as a tool to do so) and because it still can delineate your rights and privileges, whiteness still very much exists. However, whiteness in US would include Swedish (which my fam is), Italian, German etc because when folx came to US, whiteness was a way to give power to those folx so they wouldn’t organize with Black folx. Really they didn’t want people enslaved organizing and fighting for their freedom.
If a white Swedish person came to US, regardless they’d be instantly given privileges based on skin color - that’s how whiteness works.
My partner is white (Jewish Russian) and I’m Black mixed biracial, and I often wonder about our children and how we’ll navigate this convo. Deconstructing the 1 drop rule while also honoring their experience.
Also, witnessing the hardest part of this process is transitioning from a highly capitalist society to a more socialist society and decolonizing your relationship to work is so important. Keep on keeping on with that because it is so necessary to creating a liberatory world. Thank you for opening up this dialogue, it’s critical to liberation.
It's interesting that you use the phrase "deconstructing the one drop rule".. it makes me question the privileges that come with being a more white presenting mixed race person. It's almost like the history of their blackness or black diaspora roots..can be hidden and masked. I used the term privelege..because there is a sense of power associated with that.
I don't think the one drop rule can be deconstructed. I say this as a person who comes from a family that has always been adamant as being black on my mother's side. Though technically they are a mixed family. Deconstructing this, to me, is because there are so called biracials (usually raised by white women) who want the privileges of not being black. Possibly also because what is happening to blacks in the USA. I say so called because if the black is not all black would that make you biracial? So the mixed child is more white than a biracial would be. This is why this discussion often brings feuds, because after all of this time, we want to move the fence. This creates a large question of identity or a taking away of identity for people who have had their identity in place for a long time. People who thought that they were black would be considered something else. That is ridiculous. Most black Americans are mixed, supposedly most black Americans are 25% white on average. Some are more, some are less. I think we in America should be labeled something as a group that separates us as a specific group. This should have happened a long time ago and it may be too late now.
@@b.williams9473many do not agree with the titles we have now "black" or " African American" and now ADOS "..do you have any ideas on what a good label would be?
@@b.williams9473 I hear what your saying but I think labels are inherently dangerous and an othering experience. As you mentioned almost no one is 100% anything nowadays so rather than trying to find new labels for all the verity would it not be better to just move away from racial labeling altogether? I am half black and half white and grew up with only my white family in a white town. As a result I am very culturally white but have always been pointed out as the one black girl in every situation. However, once I entered the wider world most people either had no idea what race I was or labeled me a very white black girl. What do we do with this? I just think there are too many variables to try to create new labels and ultimately the only point of creating labels was so society could prevent certain groups from accessing different privileges.
@@mixchixbeauty2492 what does it mean to be culturally white? The labels are not for color or race..the labels r to honor cultural differences ..lineage and ethnicity. You can be dark skinned and identify with many aspects of white culture. But does that make you culturally white? And why can't that just make you an American? It's because of power dynamics. That's what race boils down to. Even in countries where people are the same color with similar features there are different ethnic groups with warring ideologies. Labeling is not just black and white. Also..mixed people exist all over the world. If a person is white passing, loves "white culture"and want to be accepted as white..then that's their choice. But unfortunately history shows us that not all white communities are as accepting. Find your tribe, color is not the main factor.
Congratulations to you Max and Maya on your little bundle of joy...you are both going to be fine. I love how you two talk and share, you bring a fresh perspective an educated mature breath of fresh air with this conversation. I am here for it. I am here for the plaintain! Congratulations!
I LOVE that you're raising you're family outside of the city. It's the best thing that you can do, especially in these times, to live in the country and grow your own food.
Loved this conversation ☺️ Maya, your daughter sees her Mama's beautiful brown face and loves it. She will know she's apart of whatever you're apart of and her roots will sustain her. She will know who she is and not defined by anyone ❤️❤️
Great conversation!! Thank you for sharing! 👏🏼🥰💕
Living a mixed girl in Belgium and in the Netherlands, I really noticed that how people perceive you in Europe really depends on which European country you live in. I'm born and raised in Antwerp (Flanders, Belgium) and faced quite some racist stuff in my youth (even though my dad is Belgian), but when I moved to the Netherlands (Maastricht) 11 years ago it felt so different. I have never ever experienced anything racist in Maastricht or in the Netherlands in general. People don't even ask me why I'm tanned (my mom is Congolese)... Not saying that there is no racism in the Netherlands, but I personally haven't experienced it. People are so more open minded in NL than in Belgium (especially the Flanders)... Maybe it's because the Dutch have a different colonisation history or so... I don't know. But you see that 2 regions/countries that are sooo close to each other deal so differently with immigration. I also have quite some family in France, and there the racial vibes are different again.
Your experience is very similar to my friend's. She told me Belgium can be really racist and xenophobic. Of course not everyone is like that but she said, she found peace in the Netherlands. Am glad, your life in the NL is better now.
I love "fika".It's a very cool concept to enjoy tiny moments during the day.
You may chill with a hot coffee and cookies with your friends.
This is a beautiful and needed conversation!! I have to ask how is Jackie doing?! Haven’t seen her lately 💜
Omg I love Maya! I made a video on my experience as a Black American living in London regarding race and how people couldn’t wrap their heads around me being African American! They kept asking me “yeah but from where?” People in the comments of the video couldn’t understand either!
It’s almost like some people never heard of slavery…which they have but want to act ignorant
You guys have the right approach, let it play out while watching closely so you have help her navigate this diverse world. It's great you are both open, and happy the countryside is more accepting as well. Great environment for a loving family. Stay well guys!!
Love to see all the other mixed ladies in the comments! Our experiences are as diverse as we are. I am also the only black person in my white family and I grew up in a very white town and environment. As a result I constantly felt othered. I think acknowledging that your child’s experience can be very different from your own and constantly validating that experience is fundamental. These conversations are so important and it’s awesome to see you and your husband being so thoughtful about this topic. Already great parents just a few months in! 💜💜💜🙌🏽
This was great! Thanks for sharing...I can't wait to see how Saga develops...all I know, from what I see in your videos, she is blessed to be raised by 2 parents who are loving and genuinely care for each other and her. She'll be fine.
This channel has been such a blessing. I am about to have a baby any day and while both my husband and I are born and raised in Canada, I am the only one in my immediate family born here while his goes hundreds of years back on his mother’s side (his dad’s is a little less clear, lol). He is ‘white Canadian’ and Irish and I am a multiracial West Indian. My father is ethnically Indian and my mother is herself multiracial with her dad being African and Carib and her mother being second generation Portuguese and African. COMPLEX.
I have no idea how the world will see my son. Will it depend on appearance? His own identity? It’s a mystery to me!
As a Danish girl in London I totally relate to the insecurity around speaking English. And I grew up speaking English to my dad, but still I'll rather keep quiet than come across the wrong way