I may be getting a walking stick soon due to fibromyalgia and chronic pain in my legs and was worried about people thinking I’m faking because I’m young. Thank you for giving disabled people the confidence to use their mobility aids! We need more people like you in this world ❤
I started having to use a cane (walking stick) for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (sister disease to MS and Fibromyalgia) and it’s helped so much in saving a little bit of energy so I am not in massive pain for days after going outside.
As an able-bodied person who's been privileged enough to never need to think about navigating my way in public with a walking stick or disability, I really appreciated this video. Especially the part about your walking stick being a visual cue to others. What a good reminder to pay more attention! Thank you!
The more people see people with aids I'm hoping the more they will be accepted. Sometimes they want to discuss and get info on it. This was what happened when someone saw my "petite" adult rollator. Their mother in law was even smaller. Getting stuff is hard for 10 yr old size adults
I am partially deaf, but often doctors or authorities tell me to present myself as fully deaf so that other people to take it more seriously. And I actually have been accused of faking my disability, because I react to sounds sometimes. Basically what I am trying to say, is that you are not the only one that sometimes unnecessarily adjusted to avoid raising unwanted attention.
I have 1 hearing-aid for my 'hearing' ear, the other ear is completely deaf. Guess which ear people talk into and wonder why I give them a blank look. Ugh.
Same! I wear a badge that says partially deaf please speak clearly and I do find myself "playing up" my deafness so that people take it seriously. Like i will attempt to sign (i know barely any sign language) to make people face me and speak clearly, particularly when ordering food. I'll also not react to sounds that I can actually hear so as not to be accused of faking it. Which is kinda crazy. Do you ever have people testing your deafness? I've had people do that and it's soooooo annoying and kind of insulting.
@@jennivamp5 people need to know their place. Deafness is a spectrum as far as I've heard and especially people who are not part of the deaf community have no right to gatekeep it or dictate who belongs to it and who doesn't.
I have autism and I need to use disabled toilets (normal toilets are too busy and noisy for me to handle), but it terrifies me to do so. I've had people tut at me and give me bad looks. I've had people come and tell me off because 'you're not disabled!', and because of my ASD I can't explain that I am disabled. It's always a relief when a 'not all disabilities are visible' sign is on the toilet.
Have you ever heard of stick man cards? You can order cards to hand out in moments where you cannot communicate, they offer a brief explanation of what you’re struggling with. 💐
Phietle public bathrooms are very very scary to me due to my anxiety it’s a nightmare and I get sweaty all over but I’ve also had bad experiences with disabled bathrooms and due to that I can’t use them anymore so I just need to hold it I do it with a lot of things like if I choke on a piece of food or have a bad experience with it I won’t be able to eat it again without feeling like I’m gonna puke thanks my friend also I’ve never seen them signs on toilets I wish they existed here
I do not use a mobility aid, but I have issues with my knees. Did you ever have anyone react in a "Oh you're too young to need that stick!" type of way? Because I get that a lot. I'm limping or wincing or talking about how my knees are flaring up and someone says "Oh Ella, you're too young to have bad knees!" Oh am I? TELL THAT TO MY KNEES THEN. Thank-you for being so outspoken and visible for those people who aren't 100% able-bodied in the way society expects us to be.
When you were talking about using the walking stick as a visual cue I almost started crying. For the past month I've been struggling with an undiagnosed condition that has, among other symptoms, left me with no balance and a pronounced limp on my left side. I've been feeling guilty about my cane because 1. my doctor hasn't told me to use one and 2. part of me wanted it as a visual cue to everyone that something is up with me and to not bump into me because I will fall over. Hearing you say this has just made me feel so much better so thank you.
No reason to feel guilty. My wife has walked with one crutch for years because of a serious injury when she was a teenager, and she has them in several different colors. Go ahead and flaunt your uniqueness...she does.
sometimes I wish I had a walkingstick, especially when I was in public transport after my kidney transplant and people got mad at me for not letting older people sit. It's still tough when you have a chronic illness that isn't obvious and people accuse you of being 'a lazy millennial'.
Right? Usually it is the millennials who give up their seats to people anyway and middle aged able bodied people won't budge. Sorry that happened to you.
Yes! Once an old couple were really abusive when people didn't move, and gave me daggers the whole journey whilst talking about young people having no respect for their elders - little did they know I'd just come out of a major operation for my endometriosis two days ago separating my organs and defiantly couldn't have stood up on the moving train 🙃 people do just presume you're lazy
I relate so much. One time I was sitting on a tram because my stomach hurt so badly and someone asked me to offer them a seat, I could see the judgement in their eyes when I told them that I couldn't. I also have like a chronic fatigue thing? sometimes I just feel very weak and tired, especially in stuffy places (like transport, you know), and I need to seat, but I never ask people to offer me a seat because I'm embarassed. So I just suffer, lol
There was also one time when I was sitting on a bus in a seat (thera are 4 seats in front of the bus that are for people with disability, elder people, pregnant people and people with children, it's a thing in Russia, but everyone sits on them) and middle-aged woman (who was sitting on one of these seats too) told me off very rudely for not offering my seat to a disabled man. I didn't even see him. She could have say that to me when he was still on the bus because I would stand up. But she did see him and didn't offer a seat
I'm an 18 year old college student and when you mentioned not continuing walking while using a cane and I feel the exact same way! I'm constantly anxious that people are going to think that im faking a disability. I also get asked a lot what happened to my leg, it's really wonderful to see another young person using a mobility aid!
About 'accessible priority seating' and trying to get seats when you don't know if the person sitting in it may have an invisible disability --- rather than making eye contact or aiming the message at a single person, I'll say to everyone in general "Is anyone able to give up a seat?" while indicating my cane. Most of the time, someone in the area will get up, but it makes it easier for those with invisible disabilities to say "I can't". And have no qualms with people getting whacked by my cane when I fall because nobody would give up a seat. Sorry folks, I can't make the compensations needed to keep my balance; there's a reason I need to sit! and yep, I feel totally the same way about not using the cane full time; sometimes I don't need the cane and I'm working to get stronger and greater distance, but I can't go very far (about a city block, currently). I'm getting more comfortable with using my folding cane and putting it in my bag when I don't need it, but still have that "fraud" feeling.
YES! that feeling makes me so awkward, i have major anxiety being in public anyway, supermarket trollets (carts in US) are SO helpful though as you cna put your weight on them and support your walking and not look out of place ive in past leaned on things with my leg up off floor when i could have stood but then felt eyes were watching me if I then walked off with a crutch, i shouldn't have to 'look' a way to feel I can use something which helps me
I don't have a mobility aid yet and I feel like I would experience that "fraud" feeling exactly for the same reason. It's mostly because people don't understand (in general) that not all disability are the same and that in some case, a mobility aid can be use sometimes and not always. But yeah, ill soon get a mobility aid but I'm not sure I'll be comfortable enough to use it anyway, and I'll surely push my body too far... Especially around my family. My step grand dad had polio when he was a kid and now use a walking stick daily and I'm scared of "appropriating"...
I think of the people who take it upon themselves to call out those they suspect are “faking” their disability as “the disability police no one asked for.” While these people think they are helping disabled people, they end up causing harm. People with invisible illnesses, ambulatory wheelchair users, young people using canes or mobility scooters, these and more are common targets for the “disability police no one asked for” to accuse of faking their disability, to tell off for using accessible spaces/devices “meant for REAL disabled people,” and some of them will continue to escalate the situation with verbal harassment, all because they think they are standing up for “real disabled people.” So yes, as a person with an invisible illness, I am aware of how I look to the outside world. Sometimes it almost feels like I am expected to put on a performance so that I might be considered “disabled enough” for accommodations. Or, on the other end, I must hide my symptoms from some people because it makes them uncomfortable (how do they think I feel when I start to collapse in public?)
lyndsie911 I love this post so much but I do have to admit that I have called someone out for not being disabled because I was with my papa who's paralysed from the waist down and has a blue badge and some person took the last disabled parking spot and didn't have a blue badge up which now that I think about it kinda makes me an asshole...
Apparently they've never heard of side effects of medications. A lot of medications for really serious illnesses can have side effects like drowsiness, dizziness and other really serious stuff. Especially when drug companies test on men who tend to be 70 lbs heavier on average than women and then doctors go ahead and give that same dose to a 98 pound woman.
On the other side I had a period where I had some a-holes in my life. The people who would use the handicapped parking and other areas because of the convenience. They would rationalize their way around my objections since: no one was using it: it would only be for a little while; or there was still another space available if needed. I wish more people did call them out because there ability to get away only strengthened their attitude that they were not doing anything wrong or hurting others.
I have that stick and as someone who occasionally needs a stick but when I do I lean heavily that is not a helpful stick at all, not to mention it’s very annoying as it fell over once and the wand inside the staff broke from the head/handle.
I hate using 'I have a boyfriend' because it works on the idea that men respect other men rather than your own consent. But realistically I have to eventually resort to it a lot too and it drives me potty.
I was open to a group of people that I only liked one person and that happened to be a girl, and one of the guys there tried to hit on me and tell me how I need a boyfriend to know what a relationshiop is like. He offered his "services", to make me become a "true woman". I regret not spitting in his face back then.
I think that the fact is more like " oh there is no possibility" . It is not because men respect other men, more like that a girl that already has a boyfriend is much less likely to be interested in someone hitting on her, compared to a girl that has not, because people tend to give importance to relationship, at least ideally.
@@junichiroyamashita Why isn't WE DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU a good enough reason? It is absolutely, totally about the fact that men respect another man's claim over a woman more than they respect the woman herself and her decision to not be interested. Another man's claim means "no" to them, but a woman's clear "no" just means "try until you change my mind".
@@cosmicmuffin322 Mmh,did you ever see someone be so direct? In that case there would be no more room for negotiation, he would have to stop unless he specifically want to be annoying (or desperate). The fact is that more often than not things are not so clear, and,i don t want to start a discussion,but many times when approaching a woman "no " mean s "lets see if you can change my ideas". Of course one must understand when this is the case and when not,but is all down on social skill Is not because we respect other men,but because we tend to be much more upfront and direct when discussing things, if you have to bargain for something even between men "no " means "try to convince me"
My mum suffers with an invisible disability, and worries that walking while doing things and having her stick under her arm will make people think the same as you Hannah, so she bought a fold up walking stick, so in the morning if she if feeling well she can walk without her walking stick and throughout the day when she feels she needs it, she is able to retrieve it from her bag. Just thought it would be useful for others to know! :)
I have fibromyalgia and sometimes need to use a cane, especially when I'm going to be walking or standing a lot (like at the airport, museums, etc.). That one-handed struggle is real! And I never know what to do with my cane - under my arm? between my legs? leaned against a nearby wall? Also I absolutely have that internal struggle/self-judgement of not wanting to be perceived as "fake-disabled or "not disabled enough" vs. legitimately not needing the cane 100% of the time. (By the way, in that vein, having a cane that I can fold up into my purse and pull out only when needed has CHANGED MY LIFE.)
Omg I have fibromyalgia too! I got proper daggers on a bus once because I was kitted out in my gear on the way to the gym and a bunch of old people were passive aggressively talking about the fact I was sitting in the priority seats. I dunno if they were braver about it because I had headphones on and they thought I couldn't hear but just as I got off I said to them "yeah I'm going to the gym for my physio therapy" and they all looked sooooooo embarrassed :p
Invisible disabilities are the worst. I don't have fibro, but chronic pain is definitely something I can relate to, and you ladies and all your fellow sufferers have my sympathies. ColleenBeaty, some pharmacies offer canes that are designed to stand up on their own when you take your hand off of them (they have a flat or 4-legged base on the bottom). My mother used one before she died and the wider base can also provide a little more support and stability which is definitely very helpful at times. Debbersisnotnormal, good for you! You tell the nosey old so-and-sos. I hate when people judge your level of disability just by looking at you. As if that says ANYTHING about how well or not well you actually are. I love that you humiliated then and, hopefully, made them think and maybe be a little more tolerant next time :)
GIRL SAME! I have never related to a comment more and a love it (and also hate it) lol. My foldable cane is my best friend ❤😂 That constant anxiety of not being "disabled enough" and the imposter-syndrome-fueled guilt you feel for using your cane when you don't 100% need it but are also in public and fear judgement or straight-up obstruction when you do need access to some accommodations....ugh it SUCKS
I was really embarassed about my walking stick (I'm 19 years old) because it made me feel old. Something that really helped me was decorating mine. My boyfriend and I decorated it with duct tape, stickers, and rhinestones, and got a few character keychains and things to hang on it. It makes me feel a lot more confident and I always like getting compliements on it
Thank you so much! I'm a bit younger and getting a cane for my disability in a couple days and I wasn't sure how I'd counteract that, but decorating it is a great idea!
@@Zippy15have a look at neo-walk!! I’m 20, I’m about to take the first step and use mobility aids in public, when I found that after being recommended by most groups(I have many chronic illnesses and multiple of them causes my need for the aids) I am in, I felt hope.
Shirley here, I feel like u do but once u get use to it it's not bad. Nobody looks at it, I never really noticed people walking with theirs either. I am goth so it's not that bad ster having hip replacement 7 weeks ago.
I can't even imagine the difficulties you've endured but I'm SO impressed by the generally positive and inspiring way you've overcome them and I'm REALLY impressed with how open and public you've been! You're helping SO many who may have the same hurdles and you're doing it with such an enlightened manner!
Thank you. I’m 21 and use a walking stick sometimes and some days need a wheelchair. It’s so lovely to hear about someone that can rationalize it the same way but still feel have the same fears💕
Im 19 and ive used my cane (its blue with a paisley pattern) a few times mostly for back pain and knee pain. And i also feel like i have to put on a show of needing it constantly. That actually is what keeps me from using it more. I hope that when I study abroad i can leave that stigma behind me. Its so nice to see youtubers speaking out about illness and disability. Thank you for being honest about this 💜💜
One of the students in my class aged about 19-20 years, used crunches to walk around. And seeing him throughout the classes with his dignity in spite of his disability was so inspiring. Even his fellow students were extremely helpful. As a 25 years old able-bodied teacher, this was new to me. But I have learned so much from the experience of being around him. Thanks Hannah, for talking about it. You reminded me of all those things I had learned. 😊
creepy man experience: My Dad has a bad back & every so often he uses a wheelchair in place of his cane if we plan to be out for most of the day. Usually my bro is the one who pushes him cause he's taller (5'10) & thus people will part faster than if they saw me (5'5). This day we were at a local fair, walking through the concessions area. My bro was pushing our Dad, I was on the left side holding onto the hand bars. My Dad was wearing his Vietnam vet hat, & we'd gotten a few people coming up to shake our father's hand etc. Which leads into our story... A older man, I'd say late 40's/early 50's came up on the right side of my dad, gave him a hand a shake, said "thank you for your service spiel" & began having a small convo. (All whilst moving through a large mass of people). I'm not really paying attention to him; but at one point he ends up walking around to my side. (Do you see where this is going?) Then to my left I hear "Hey little lady, get off his wheelchair." Before I have time to turn in confusion, said guy has put one hand on my upper left arm & the other wrapped around my right side, HARD. As if to pull me off, like some burly bodyguard. Thankfully my brother had his wit's about him, stops walking/pushing our father & goes "Get off my sister you creep." The man immediately releases me & puts both hands up. "I'm sorry dude, I was just..." "You can leave now." (Brother) & the guy backs away, with hands still in the air. Meanwhile I'm just giving him the biggest wtf face, as is my Dad. Thankfully this is the only time this has happened. *Knocks on wood* I still get supper uncomfortable everytime we go out w/ said wheelchair now.
Yeesh what was UP with that guy??? Did he think you were like a stranger who just like?? Latched on to someone's wheelchair and that the person pushing the chair or the person in the chair like just hadnt noticed somehow?? Like what. What even
Everything here resonates with me strongly. Thank you, Hannah! I'm young but my unstable knees have meant injuries, surgeries, arthritis, and navigating NYC in the slippery winter. You describe that edge-of-recovery predicament so well. I have a folding cane that I can use for just the ice, stairs, subway, or just the end of the day. It also has a wrist strap which is handy for quickly using both hands (lip balm etc.) and can stand up by itself. It's called the HurryCane.
Edit: Transport for Greater Manchester now also offer a similar scheme! Anyway back to the original comment People who don't live in london! I ordered a "please offer me your seat" badge from amazon and it works a treat! I have my keys on a lanyard so I've found attatching the badge to my key lanyard helpful so when I'm getting ready to leave the house I just put my lanyard on so I don't have to rummage through my bag for my keys, leave it on on public transport to get to my destination and then when I get off I just put the lanyard in my bag. No faffing about trying to take a badge on and off and also you'll never forget it bc it's on your keys
Jeanna Roberts can I ask where on Amazon you got yours (or what you searched lol maybe I'm just typing the wrong things) I looked and unfortunately couldn't find anything. Plenty of "not all disabilities are visible" but that's not quite the same...
I totally understand what you mean about needing that visual cue to show that you’re fragile, I have POTS which is an invisible illness and I always feel as if I need something, anything, to show people that I’m a sick person. No one but me knows how I am feeling so I could be walking around feeling dizzy and one bump from someone could knock me over or I may need to actually lay down on a bench so I don’t pass out. I always feel like I need to visually prove my illness to others. I’m thankful that I don’t need a mobility aid but I do know that some people with pots do need the extra hand with walking. I just wish their wasn’t this voice in my head that tells me my illness needs to be visible to be validated. If I were to get onto a busy train and ask for a seat, honestly people would probably not believe me and I’d have to suffer through a train ride standing. So I am one of those people who don’t look ill sitting in a disability seat on the train when it’s busy
Hi! How long have you had pots for? My symptoms started feb 27 and I was diagnosed June 20th I think. Are you doing okay with managing symptoms? Pots sucks so much
Eve wow that’s such a long time to be diagnosed. You are definitely doing the right thing by drinking a lot of fluids and keeping an eye on your heart rate, I was told by my doctor to drink at least 3-4L of fluids a day which is crazy but really does help. When I go out I always make sure I have my Apple watch 3 to keep an eye on my heart rate (I’m on coralan so it doesn’t always play up) and an electrolyte drink of some kind, also a Vog mask to avoid sick people. If I’m not doing particularly well that day I’ll take it easy and not push myself to do too much and I’ll sit whenever possible that way I can avoid having to embarrassingly lay down in the middle of a shop 😅😅 if you’ve got blood pooling issues you can try and use compression socks, they may or may not help. You can also raise your feet above your head on a wall or something and that will help but make sure that you take your time going from laying with feet up to laying down to sitting then to standing otherwise you might get dizzy. Some people with pots need an extra increase in salt. Exercise is so important with pots, if you look up the blog stronger then pots she has so much good info on exercise with pots and other ways to handle life with pots. Pretty much all I know is from that blog 😂. Personally I prefer swimming but I also do some exercises in bed since when I first developed pots I was laying flat a lot and now my lower back is stuffed so I need to correct that. Unfortunately I don’t know how to help brain fog or fatigue which are two of my most annoying symptoms 😅 that’s all I can really think of. Oh when it’s hot I’d try and stay in air conditioning or have plenty of cold ice water and cooling wipes and eat ice blocks because pots can cause temperature control so you can have a heat intolerance but you can also get too cold so it’s just a matter of figuring out what’s best for you. I live in Australia and it gets so ridiculously hot here I’m so not prepared for dealing with pots in summer 😩 well it’s actually spring but we only really get two seasons here, summer and winter 😂 I hope everything works out for you
Eve I get you with the exercise, I hate it so much that’s why I swim because it’s fun 😂 Hahahah when I was working it would hit me soo hard and I’d just on the ground in front of stock and pretend to ‘fix it’ 😂
i have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome which is usually accompanied by POTS which i also have. before i had my cane i had actually fallen over on the bus when nobody would give me their seat and i broke my tailbone. never again, i will literally argue with people so i can sit down because i just cant put myself through more unnessecary pain on top of the horrible chronic pain i have all the time
Maddi AverageCanadian that is horrible! I have some knowledge of Eds, just the basics, so it really much be horrible to go out and have to argue with someone to get a seat so you don’t break or dislocate anything. Especially since dislocations are so common with Ed’s
As a wheelchair user who can stand while leaning, I've stood up in stores to reach for something and had people say I was faking. And I've been disabled my whole life.
I understand completely about the need to look unhealthy or disabled or damaged. I have starting stages of early onset arthritis and fell down some stairs and messed up my wrist a few years ago. Now I wear a wrist brace for support. Most days with physio it's fine and I don't wear it while I'm at work or Just living my life but I've noticed I have to wear it more and more because people forget I can't do stuff. I may be able to lift that shopping bag now but later I'm gonna pay for it... I've started wearing it and weakening my wrist further just to show people I can't do stuff.. it's a terrible thing and you are a brilliant and brave person for standing up for yourself and others around you! Xxx
I'm so happy you made this video! As a fellow young chronically ill person, I appreciate it! After my major episodes in hospital, I have a wheel chair to use if I need it for simple things like grocery shopping or if my friends wanted to take a long trip to the mall where we would walk around a lot. It's strange getting the interactions I would have. Especially, since my illness is more invisible. (I have Dysautonomia) I would get weird looks or have people just staring at me. My biggest thing though was when I didn't need to use it. People would get all weird about why I had one in the first place. And like you, I didn't want them to see that I could be without it and them have them judge and ask all these questions.
I'm 20 and have arthritis and recently i've needed to use a walking stick i don't need it all the time if i know i'm doing a lot of walking or walking long distances then the walking stick definitely helps with that. Seeing this video helps as I've had the same thoughts and feelings as this when it came to using a walking stick and it helps to know i'm not alone. I also had an incident where i fell over on the tube in London i didn't have my walking stick at the time but standing up for the period of time it took to get to the next stop was difficult for me so the person i was with was asking for people to give up their seats and it was a woman like 3 seats down who got up to offer her seat and the train started moving as i tried stepping over these people's feet, ended up tripping up on the Man's feet who was sat in the priority seats who refused to move and ended up falling face first into the lap of the man sat next to the first one and it was very embarrassing.
Hannah - you are totally wonderful in your communication skills. Your videos are eloquent, intelligent and expressive and no doubt are helping a lot of people. Personally, I totally empathise with the feeling of frailty in a public place after surgery but I never thought of getting a stick. Sharing your experiences will be giving hope and optimism to others, a noble position in life.
Thank you for making this video. I’ve been suffering from a long disability and have have a stick for over a year now and am always so reluctant to use it. It’s so refreshing to see someone younger than me be so upbeat and full of life in regards to being a young person needing a stick.
In my experience, commuters are the worst by a long way, especailly in the evening. It's like they've forgotten that there's other people trying to get home too. They don't move down the carriage, they don't get out of the way when people are getting off, so the likelyhood of them offering a seat to anyone is really low unfortunately. I also don't condone using your stick in anger, but I completely understand sometimes!
my second visit to London, i shouted 'can people move down the carriage please?' on the tube, i did think i may be punched but at that point the door was beeping and i wasn't fully in the carriage doors and i panicked - i had forgotten i'm 6'3 and built like an outhouse - this may have helped things. i dont tend to shout often and even yesterday a subway lady (the sandwich shop not the system of transport) had to ask me to speak up - i'm like the lovechild of Hightower and Hooks from police academy :D
it’s really nice to see someone else who doesn’t get embarrassed or feel shame easily, these days everyone gets embarrassed and ashamed and people get really shocked and kind of take my unembarrassment for granted sometimes, it’s cool how you’re also so open and unashamed about everything :)
*Much love to all of you with mobility aids* 💕 I was just talking to my sister literally the other day about how a walking stick would help me tremendously but I couldn't fathom the amount of people that would stare and or feel pity for me, comment negatively etc (bcz btw people are not always the nicest especially when it comes to things like this).. UPDATE: I don't need a mobility aid anymore but it's still a problem that needs to be addressed ...
I still have friends who can't understand why I only occasionally use my walking stick 🙄 sometimes I don't take it out when it probably would have helped just so I don't have to explain myself which is so stupid saying it now but in the moment seems like the logical solution
I’ve walked with crutches my entire life. People do stare, and they do say stupid (but often good-intentioned) things. Some people flat out say “what happened to you?” And that definitely stings. But you learn to stare back and make THEM the uncomfortable ones, lol.
Casey Gale I hate when "people say stupid but good-intentioned things" because you usually get hurt but can't really get back at them since you know they didn't mean it. I too hate when people ask for an explanation. Why do they expect us to tell them everything in detail lol it's just rude.
TheAlivere I feel like people have a rigid image when it comes to this. It's either you're flat out disabled / wheelchair-bound or you're completely fine/ able-bodied, there's no in between.
Hi Reem, I had the same issues, so haven't bought one. But my sister has offered me some hiking walking sticks, maybe they can help?? They look less 'disable'. I'll feel less ashamed. Maybe I'll try that when I'm in pain again with my knee.
I'm happy to see a video like this! I'm 29 and have had to use a walking stick off and on for several years bow due to chronic arthritis. When it flares up bad enough, walking and standing become almost impossible without it. In my own personal experience, I have felt embarrased a lot using it because every time I do I get stared at a lot and I'm nog sure why. It's important to get more visibility out there for younger people needing them. I feel like maybe people are skeptical of the need when they see me with it.
I feel this so much. I work in London and use my cane to support my shitty joints or signal to others I need some a seat. I am not ashamed of my disability but I resist taking my foldable cane out of my bag when I need it. I often don't know I need it until I am public/train station when the symptoms hit suddenly. They cannot see my pain or my dizziness but I feel their judgement when they see me able to walk & still take out my cane & wearing my please offer me a seat badge. I feel the pressure to perform my disability so they just stop staring. I find the younger the person the more likely they are to offer me a seat.
I am relieved to hear I am not alone but I wish you didn't have to feel like this too. I mostly take the green/yellow/ purple lines which I find better because of the aircon, and it tends to be younger people than my old commute, so I am more likely to get a seat.
Embarrassing story when someone offered me a seat on Paris Metro. I have a physical disability so people usually offer me a seat. The man stood up and the train started to move as I sat down so I just fell on this woman's lap on the next seat. She said something to me in French I did that British thing when you overly apologise. I was so so embarrassed
In the name of the French community, I truly apologise. Paris Metro is not ok at all for people who have physical disabilities, we need to change that.
Oh yeah, so many stairs in the Paris Metro! I had a similar thing happen where I fell over precisely because the train started after I let go of what I was holding onto in order to take the seat that was offered.
I watched this video about a year ago when I was preparing to start using a cane at age 27. I’ve been using it full time for a year and it has improved my life. I haven’t had anyone be weird to me about it in public, but then again I’ve been living in Japan where people are less likely to approach you with weird comments. Thanks for putting this out there!
I was telling my friend for YEARS to smack people with her sight cane. She started whacking me with it though so hitting people with your disability aid is a BAD IDEA AND ALSO DON'T HIT YOUR FRIENDS
As someone with paralysis who uses a wheelchair, it's interesting to hear what stuck out more to you. For me, those offhand questions about my mobility aid feel a lot more emotional since it's a long and unpleasant story, and there's no uplifting "but I'll be better soon" sort of thing. I really like how you're spreading the word that disabilities are on a spectrum and not black and white. I hope your recovery is going well!
My boyfriend is partly sighted. He doesn't use a stick. He doesn't need it day to day. I can't remember the name of his condition and it's really complicated to explain so let's just say he has no peripheral vision, so he doesn't see you walking paying attention to your phone and not at what's around you, he doesn't see your kids running around. So sometimes if we are in a shopping centre or somewhere busy he might get walked into alot because he doesn't see people coming. So when we were going on holiday he got a white stick for the airport because similar to you, it's an aid for making people around you aware that you might need space, help etc. No one paid a single bit of attention to it and he was so angry because it was a new environment for him. I just want to say can we all be aware of our surroundings more. Pay more attention to people and note if they have any mobility/vision aids etc. It makes a world of difference.
Just wanted to thank you for this video. Last year my Mum had 2 full hip replacement surgeries and therefore needed mobility aids during recovery. She is in her 50s and very young for her age. She was also incredibly fit to the extent that she hadn't needed a walking stick before her surgery, despite how bad her joints had gotten, so this was a massive adjustment. Not just the practicalities but also the way that she was perceived and perceived herself in the world. I showed her this video and it really helped her come to terms with her new (albeit temporary) reality and feeling confident going out with her sticks. She is now well on her way to full recovery and has even started dancing and going to the gym again but after each of her surgeries she had no idea how long recover would take for her and how much of her former ability she would regain so your openness gave her the boost she needed to adjust. Thank you.
I'm very happy you're talking about stuff like this! More people talking about what would seem touchy subjects is the best way to remove stigma and it's great that you're giving confidence to your audience by setting an example. I wish you all the best
Hannah, I have to use a walking stick because I had a below knee amputation. Like you I have recently been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, so I can fully relate to having a hidden and a visible disability. All I can say is do everything you can that you used to do. Every little bit helps to make you stronger and gives you a boost to your feelings about yourself.
Great video! As someone who deals with chronic pain, which is kind of fluid in terms of how bad it is on any given day, I do feel quite awkward asking for a seat on the bus etc. Especially as a young woman who does dress up when I go out, and no visible aid or "sick look." People are just so judgey and I appreciate that you made a whole video about your experience because it makes me feel less alone.
When i used to live in London I would always stand up if i saw someone who needed a seat and/or was asked to move! Tbf sometimes i would need to be asked because i was so tunnel vision on my phone 😂 I broke my foot also once so had a snow boot shoe on my foot and on only one occasion someone offered me a seat because i was too shy to ask. Also you did amazing Lorraine today Hannah!
I have 1 friend who has an invisible disability and another who's is more visible but not always. It's nice to see someone explaining struggles similar to those I care about but has a bigger platform to inform others. Glad your recovery is going well hannah!
Thank you so much for this. I'm a veteran and still get embarrassed too use my cane because I'm so young (ish). Hearing that you had the same fears is such a relief.
Thank you so much for this! so so many truths in this video! , I'm 21 , currently going through a diagnosis to find out what's wrong with my body , doctors and I believe possibly 2 different chronic invisible illnesses and I had to use a stick for the first time in my life on a day out with my family as I was really struggling , I didn't feel embarrassed because I knew I NEEDED the stick to help me , I couldn't of gone without it on that day , I found that people are impatient and it really opened my eyes to how people view disabled people.
Although I think I certainly felt more comfortable that it wasn't in my home town that I was using the stick , it was on a day out so I knew I wouldn't see anyone I knew.
That fact that you share everything you go though make you an inspiration to women everywhere. You shame of what people think. You a role model for young girls to look up to
I think one day you should do a collaboration with martina from "eat your kimchi". She has to use mobility aids too, and deals with "on the outside you look fine, you're not disabled".
I had chronic fatigue for a lengthy period of time after an illness, so I became aware of invisible conditions and the issue of needing a seat when you need one. Thanks for making this video, it was very informative!
Lovely insightful video. Your walking stick does look amazing! 💛 And I totally get what you mean about feeling like you have to look like you need the stick for fear of others judging. Obviously it's absolutely fine for you to take and use your stick even though you're relying on it less at the beginning of the day, and as you said there are plenty of people who don't always need their mobility aid but they're still very much justified in having them with them, however people who don't know do judge (like people saying "Oh I saw that she walked once, what does she have a wheelchair for" or similar stuff), and even though we shouldn't care about what people think when they're in the wrong, I can totally empathize with the instinct of "I don't want them to make a false assumption about me, I do need my stick so I'm going to try and show it to everyone". Hopefully with time people will be more informed and this will become less of a problem (but considering the rudeness of people on the tube, especially at rush hour, I doubt it will ever disappear completely).
Oh Hannah these videos make me nearly weep because you've put into words my thoughts every day! Whenever I come out of a disabled bathroom I feel like I always have to "look disabled enough", it's a terrible mentality but sadly there are some people out there who are far too quick to judge. I feel oddly better about my situation now, mobility aids or not
Thanks for posting this video. It's really good to see someone talk about this topic. I have had to use crutches for an invisible condition roughly 6 months of the year for 20 years (since my early teens) and live in London. Hannah all I can say is you have been very lucky with the Tube. Maybe its because I'm a tall man but it is rare for me to be offered a seat on the Tube without asking for it (even standing in front of someone with the crutches) and even if I ask I only get given a seat perhaps half the time (less in rush hour). I too have had the falling over trying to get down the carriage to a seat (more than once) but the responses I have had are either people swearing at me for falling into them or once everyone around me laughing. Oh, and as a side note people treat you better on the Tube than trains and on buses it is much much worse. I think it is really good that someone with your profile is talking about being young and having to use walking aids. I absolutely understand the whole not physically needing the aid at that time but having to use it as a form of protection to let people know you have a condition: it's something I have had to do for a few weeks a year most of my life and it is erksome, and I have certainly had the quandary of being out with crutches but not needing them that exact moment and having to choose whether to stop to do something that needs my hands or just tuck one under an arm and do it - I too almost always go for the stop option, as I am embarrassed for someone to think I am 'fake disabled' as you put it (indeed more than once when I have gone for the keep going with crutch under arm I have been heckled by strangers on the street about being a faker and the like. I have been in hospital with other young people over the years who have been really embarrassed about using sticks or crutches in public and it is a good message to both them and the wider world that it is not something to be ashamed of nor something that it is acceptable for others to use to bully the user.
As someone who's on the verge of a Crohn's diagnosis and needs a cane to walk, I so appreciate this video. I felt so ashamed for having to get a cane and my blue badge, literally took me a full year of being chronically ill to admit I needed it. You honestly have no idea how much your videos help me feel like I'm not alone, just wanted to say thank you so much for your content!
On the fact of you feeling awkward carrying your cane and not wanting to do it. When I heard you say that It really comforted me as I feel the exact same way. I sometimes need to use a wheelchair but I can still walk short distances and if I need to get/do something that involves standing up I feel so awkward and scared that someone might confront me to the point where I just don’t do it.
I appreciated that you were concerned that someone already sitting may have an invisible disability. Here's a tip. When I was injured and it was not obvious, I would ask a candidate for their seat by qualifying, "If you are not injured yourself, may I please have your seat today? I'm struggling today." Everyone I asked got up for me. Or someone within a seat or two jumped up. Often a couple of people immediately offered. I always thanked them and said I would pay it forward too. Nice work btw and I love your walking stick!
!! 14:10 oooh I've dealt with that struggle a lot, especially on public transport and travels, which is why I made the decision to get myself a collapsible stick! I was able to store it in my backpack until i deemed in necessary. It is a bit like carrying a small umbrella and I have yet to regret my decision (eventhough they don't come in as many pretty designs and colors)! It takes a bit of courage to just wip it out and start using it, but it definitly is worth it
Getting myself a foldable cane has made my life so much better! I agree it does take some courage to pull it out in front of people who just saw you standing/walking without it, but usually once I've hit the point of needing it I'm already past the point of caring enough to avoid using it.
Hannah, thanks for being so honest with your experiences and I'm glad you are moving along well in your recovery! I have low vision and used to live in London. I used a cane to ID me as someone who can't see very well. Some people were kind, one woman on the Overground had a bit of a rant at people one evening on my way home from work because everyone ignored me. I was very grateful for her after a really shit day at work. I got a lot of older people giving me their seat on the Tube which I was very uncomfortable with. The worst times were when I would stand in front of the accessible seats and people would look up and judge whether I needed the seat - if I was dressed professionally they often wouldn't offer me the seat even though I had a white cane. Or they figured I hadn't seen them notice and looked away again. I had a rather short cane and once I was fed up with people ignoring me in busy areas I would raise the cane so it was closer to crotch-height. That's a sure way to clear a path down Regent Street on a weekend! The thing with worrying about being accused of faking disability is that it's a real thing that lots of people worry about. And for good reason. People have fluctuating conditions, people need different aids on different days but society has been sold so many lies about what disability actually is. Also that able-bodied people feel they have a right to police it and be the ones to make judgements on what disability is and what disabled folks need. So much of this leads to internalised ableism that prevents people from using the aids they need or prevents them from always using them in ways that are most and solely beneficial to that person. We have a lot of work to do on this as a society because 1 in 7 people have some kind of disability. We aren't going anywhere.
I'm not physically disabled but I understand the whole conflict between needing your stick as a visible aid to remind people but not actually needing it all the time. I have an anxiety disorder which most of the time, I am completely in control of. I have my strategies and a routine I keep to so most of the time I can function like an 'average' human being. BUT it gets to a point when my friends and family start to forget (which isn't their fault; they've got busy lives too I don't blame them) that I am very sensitive to what they say or do and it can have a massive impact on me and my mental health because I am functioning 'normally'. When I'm not having a very good mental health day, sometimes I do wish it was acceptable to walk around with a sign saying "I am fragile, please be patient". These videos have taught me so much, Hannah. Thank you xx
I have an invisible disability (a mobility aid wouldn't help me) that means that i really need to sit down on public transport. I get so stressed when i use public transport when it's busy. Firstly, if there's no seat, i hate to ask anyone to give theirs up. I look perfecty able bodied and have nothing to prove that i'm not so no one would think to offer. If i to do manage to sit down and happen to be in an accessible seat, i'm constantly anxious that i'm going to be asked to give up my seat. I spend the whole bus ride rehearsing what i'm going to say if i'm asked. I once spent a 3 hour train journey sat on the floor because i was too shy to ask for a seat and i was extremely unwell afterwards as a result. I wish there was a nationally recognised "disabled" identity card or something similar that would be recognisable and i could show to people to make it clear that i'm not being selfish, but that i do really need a seat. It's great that TFL have a system but i've not heard of one anywhere else. It's frustrating because the national schemes in place at the moment aren't officially recognised and you have to pay for the card... so i could buy this card and then non one would know what it meant anyway!
Exactly the same Tessa! I am unable to stand up on public transport for longer than 10 minutes or so... I can manage for a stop or two on the tube, but much longer and I feel so unwell that the pain means I feel like I’m going to pass out! I look perfectly healthy, and a stick wouldn’t make much difference to me either! I have had a confrontation once where I sat in a priority seat on a bus on the way home from uni... the uni bus in the evening was as busy as the tube during rush hour, so I needed to sit down. I managed to get a seat fine... but had a woman come on at the next stop who tried to get me out of my seat. No matter how much I explained, she didn’t listen at all! I feel like people are getting better now and more awareness is being raised... but it still scares me so much!
Oh my gosh, it was so wonderful to hear that you, too, worry about "faking your disability". I'm not physically disabled, but I am dyslexic, and I fear a lot of the time when people see me writing or reading, they'll accuse me of faking. I had the privilege of having a private teacher to teach me to read and write, so I can, just slower than others. I struggle a lot with directions and spatial awareness, but some days are better than others. When I say the correct direction, I always worry someone will believe I'm faking. It's been something I've struggled with for years... Even though no one has actually said anything like that to me. Having you talk so openly about it made me realize exactly how irrational it is. Maybe I need to start embracing my disability's quirks. Thanks so much, Hannah
This video is excellent, thank you for speaking about your experiences :) I'm sharing it with a group I'm part of called the Disabled Feminists Collective ,and I think a lot of them will really benefit from either learning or being validated in their experiences :) xx
At 34 I am choosing my first walking stick after a severe injury to my lower leg meaning I am now sporting a lot of metalwork. I am going through the anxieties and concern due to the stigma of a stick. Thanks for posting
As a recent visitor to London I've given my seat on the tube and DLR to people who needed it. As someone with an 'invisible' permanent injury I find it hard to get a seat when I need it. I broke my back in a workplace accident 5 years ago at 27 years old. Some times I'm fine, sometimes I'm not and sometimes it deteriorates throughout the day but people just see me as a 'young' person not a person with an injury because they can't see it. Good on you for not being afraid to use your stick to get and maintain your independence. I did notice a number of younger walking stick users at SitC and subconsciously I'm like #MyPeople. It's always nice not feeling alone.
I think for the most part those with a disability have been fetishised* by the media in that we only see severe cases which are framed either as great tragedies who we should feel sorry for or as inspirations that we can learn from because if they can triumph then so can you, at least you are able. They aren't seen as being normal people who you could be friends with because this framing alienates them and so it's harder to see disability as being on a scale with some needing less aid than others and to even identify less visible disabilities. I'm by no means saying this is how I perceive people with disabilities. It really upsets me that people are so skeptical and would question giving you a seat on the tube and this is a response to why there's such a stingy attitude towards offering help to those who need it. *in this context I'm not referring to sexual fetishes, which is a whole other subject. I mean putting people with disabilities on a pedestal. Correct me if I'm not using correct terminology, I just can't think of a better word.
Actually, you're using the word pretty correctly. In anthropology (as opposed to psychology), to fetishize an item is to assign a mystical significance to it. So if something is set apart from every day life, it can be said to be fetishized. And, FINALLY, that stupid Anthro degree has come in handy for something!!! :D
I feel for you. 30 yrs ago I was told to use a walking stick. I thought no I'm 28. Now using two crutches I still face those looks and people who don't want to move out of my way. Your video is amazing. People need to realise that not all disabilities are visible. But sadly most are to wrapped up in their own little bubble. I hope your recovery goes well. Keep up the good work.
I've kinda always been terrified of public transport that you have to stand on. I have postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome so I can't stand for long periods of time and I have ehlers danlos syndrome which is a connective tissue disorder that makes me dislocate my joints fairly often so I have chronic pain. But I look like a completely normal person. I'm afraid that when I get on there will be no seats or that I get a seat but then someone with a visible disability comes on. Idk what I would do...
HSD here, Hi cousin! This is a concern I've had as well; what if my knees are unstable? what if I sublux a shoulder/elbow/wrist holding onto something when there's a bump/jerk? Mostly I just try to ignore these voices in my head and thankfully nothing terrible has happened, but I'm definitely too shy to ask, and if someone with a visible disability came and asked me for a seat I'd probably just get up and -hobble- run away, irrationally embarrassed. But if I didn't have those options I'd probably end up hiding at home all the time and no one wants to live like that
Eve hi! So pots can be hard to treat but the three main things that help me are staying well hydrated by drinking at least 75/80 oz of water every day (the suggested amount for a normal person is 64 oz) and eating lots of salt to help regulate low blood pressure. Another really helpful thing for me is beta blockers to help with heart rate. I’ve tried compression stockings but they did pretty much nothing for me (but I’d still recommend you try cos every one is different) the hardest one is exercise, reconditioning your body is really really hard so I recommend trying for a referral to physical therapy and your physical therapists will teach you some exercises to do. Also if you do orthostatics (just google pots testing/tilt table test or ask me and I’ll explain how to do it) and the change in heart rate is over 30 bpm then you have pots. If I didn’t explain probably or it’s confusing I can give you my snapchat or Instagram to explain better. Good luck fellow spoonie
I chose a red cane because I wanted something simple but also expressed me. I love red. Especially red flannel, red & black checkered, etc. Most of my clothes are black or red and black so it fits my style well too
I don't have a walking stick but I do have an invisible illness which effects my mobility (and i will be getting one of those bages wen i move to london) but i understand what you mean about feeling like you have to put on a show. I find especially around people who are hesitant to believe in my condition or when I'm using priority seats I feel if I hide my pain as I am used to doing I am going to get called out and so it feels like I have to try and look like I'm in as much pain as I am (which Im usually good at covering up from long term experience) to appease them. Dont know if that makes sense
Yes! I totally sympathise! I've had to do that myself many times. We get used to hiding it, but in public I just make it obvious. I was in the chemist getting my prescription, and all the seats were taken, so I just looked stressed/exhausted and screwed my face up until someone took the hint!
I know in the US there is something called tbe Hurry cane. It folds up, has awrist wrap and itr stands on its own. I do t know if it available in other countries or not, but it may be helpful to you. Tnat way you can stop, let go of the cane to do whatevee, andd he cane is right there.
I understand what you are saying but I think it's crazy you have to feel that way. I'm not disabled myself but I know that not all disabilities are visible. Maybe I get it more because I'm a nurse but chronic illnes isn't predictable, some days are going to be better then others and some days mobility aids are more needed then others. I wish that would be a wide spread understanding so that it wouldn't be needed to 'put on an act'. As you said, you get used to functioning with pain and don't show it as much. Hope your experiences with this will improve. Well wishes from the Netherlands
I also love that you are talking about having a temporary mobility issue. There are a lot of issues specific to temporary mobility issues (as well as ones that fluctuate), that aren't talked about so much.
A suggestion about the creeps in public: Tell them straight-up that you want them to leave you alone. Don't feel bad, many of them lack in social skills (disability related or not) and need clear orders. If they ignore it, look around for anyone who notices your uncomfortableness and tell them if they'd please tell that person that they should go as apparently they're not able to understand what you're saying. Yes, this is a kind of shaming, but a legit one imo since it helps everyone involved. Edit: I work with people with mental disabilities (not always visible) who often come of as 'creeps' when it's really just an inability to process social cues.
The part about wanting to feel legitimate and not wanting people to think you're faking it... applies to other invisible disabilities as well. Thank you. I've never taken the time to fully discuss my depression with my university, partly because it comes and goes, partly because I didn't / don't feel "disabled enough" (especially due to the invisible nature of it and not having a wheelchair etc), combined with the societal pressure / lie that we can "conquer our minds" and "be positive" which somehow puts the blame on me.
OH MY GOD I align with you so much! With my chronic pain I need a cane but not all the time. However, I’m self conscious about people assuming I don’t have a disability. And the amount of times I get asked what’s wrong with my leg, ugh. The most annoying one is “what did you do to yourself?” I DID NOTHING! Like I don’t deserve this but it’s just my life now. I’m 26 too and it’s so frustrating. I don’t go out in public very often and I can’t take public transit, but being one handed is so annoying and rude people is enough at my work. I work at retail with a mobile payment device so I’m constantly stopping to do something because I have my cane in my hand. I walk so slow too. I wonder who walks slower, me or you 🤣🤣 Thank you for this video, I want people to realize there’s young people with disabilities and need more consideration.
People are so nosy, it's like they think we owe them an explanation to validate ourselves or something. And then, usually, if you DO answer them, they suddenly have a slew of even MORE invasive questions (or else they decide that your condition doesn't qualify as "real" or "severe enough"). Some days I just want to leave the planet...
Right? I'm seriously just like "No, I never thought of trying the third most commonly prescribed medicine for my condition before and neither have any of my doctors for the past 30 years! I'll get right on that!!!" Or they're suggest something ridiculously far out there because they've heard of a couple anecdotal cases on the internet. Somewhat unrelated to my major health issue (most people are too uncomfortable with it to offer inane suggestions), I get a lot of migraines, and people have suggested everything from getting the inner cartilage of my ear pierced, to eating a cup of sunflower seeds a day (I actually tried that one since I love sunflower seeds, but it did things to my stomach not fit to discuss in polite conversation), to bathing my feet in a mixture of hot water, vinegar, and mustard powder... da fuq?!?! I mean "have you tried botox?" is a reasonable question. "Have you tried using smelly condiments on your feet is NOT. Next, they'll be suggesting coffee enemas. Oh, wait, I've had those suggested to me, too...
Kat K I have a friend who had to take off 5 months of work because of migraines, he just laid in bed starring at the ceiling because everything triggered them. I have them sometimes too if I’m not careful. I’m sorry to hear that they really suck. That’s some crazy suggestions. I have gotten a few weird ones too. One thing that gets under my skin is a few people said they knew someone from their church who can heal me. Like I have a chronic condition and some rando is not going to heal me.
Oh, I've had more than one person tell me that if I pray more, or "get saved" then all my health and mental problems will magically disappear. Which is not just ridiculous but insulting as it implies that my issues are somehow MY FAULT! And don't get me started on faith healers. A neighbor dragged me to one behind my mother's back when I was 10. He was so rough with me, grabbing my head and pulling me around by it while he screamed at imaginary demons to leave my body that I had a 3-day migraine as a result. Any time someone tells me to rely on faith or go to a "healer" I have to fight the urge to tie them to a chair, tape their eyelids open, and make them watch James Randi presentations for 24 hours straight...
I have MS and i use a walking stick when needed, but I use a walker most of the time. When ur really desperate and really cant do without, then u dont really care. U got to do what u got to-do. Remember everyone has their own issues.
i’m really curious to hear about you using the ‘please offer me a seat’ badges? I use mine a lot on trains but not often in London (again because of the fact that no one looks up on the tube), and whether you were offered a seat more with a walking stick or with the badge (or the same)! also it’s interesting to hear you were more uncomfortable to use the badge, in completely the opposite - very comfortable wearing a badge but a bit more embarrassed using a crutch. Anyway thanks for making these kind of videos, it means a lot to people like me with long term invisible disabilities xxx
I use the please offer me a seat badge on the tube, and yeah people take a while to get up, so now I go straight to the accessibility seats and just ask the person there "could I sit down please" and 99% of the time they'll get up no problem looking embarrassed that the girl with the "disabled" badge had to ask them. So don't be afraid to just ask
I got a cane about… almost a year now. Wow. I started with an old hand me down which was WAY too short for me. A little while later, I got one cut to my size. I grew out of that one and now I have an adjustable metal one, same make as yours, but black with pink and blue flowers . I haven’t seen anyone in the comments yet who is quite as young as me so, hi! I’m 15 years old. I’m turning 16 later this year. It’s so refreshing and wonderful to see younger people with canes or walking sticks. I use a cane for pain reasons. I’m injured in both of my knees and also hyper mobile, so my lower half hurts a lot. I won’t have my cane forever, but for now, I need it. It took me a while to feel comfortable around people with disabilities and mobility aids because I thought I didn’t deserve to have a cane. Luckily, I have a lot of people looking out for me. I get so many stares in public for being my age with a mobility aid, but I’ve learned to brush them off. Thank you for your videos. You are beautiful. Sending you love from a young mobility aid user who’s finding her way.
Your comment is very encouraging. I'm (f) 39 and not that old for cane/walking stick but I do feel embarrass using it in public:( I had an ankle injury and still limping. This gives me a boost! Thank you🙏
I know what you mean by needing people to go outside. tried a cane and was by myself and fell so now I am even more scared. thinking about using a walker but I feel like I am to young for that. but after listening to you I think it might be ok because it will give me freedom again. thank you for making me feel more comfortable about my issues.
I wish someone had suggested getting a stick to me when I was recovering from surgery. I struggled to walk and stand for long periods and I just avoided public transport because I was too embarrassed at the idea of asking people to give me a seat
I also felt really fragile after my surgery (brain surgery) and was afraid I'd get pushed over and my head would just crack open. it's so nice to hear someone else feeling the same way. well, not nice, but validating, that's a better word. I was so afraid of going outside!!! i didn't have a stick, or anyone to help me. yeah my experience wasn't great at all. idk, just wanted to say that you made me feel slightly better about the absolute worst time in my life, and I appreciate you being so open and honest. I found your videos a few days ago, and I love them. You are awesome. the one where you talk to a group of disabled people about sex and relationships made me cry so much. i had my surgery almost 15 years ago now, and my life fell apart. 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with an acquired brain injury, and I'm still trying to adapt to what that means. your videos make me feel seen and validated and I appreciate the %&/#) out of you. (also hey 1000th comment on this video i think, grats! :))
Thank you for sharing this! I totally relate to the fear of being seen as fake disabled - my fatigue fluctuates from day to day and even hour to hour. So I could see a friend and have energy to go on a walk with them or someone could drive past me and see me jogging one day - but then right now for the last week I've barely been able to leave the house and been sleeping and in bed 99% of the time.There's so much of bodies we can't see that's going on on the inside!
I know this isn’t the same but A few years ago my sister was in agony with sciatica and couldn’t walk very well, but we were at a public attraction so hired a wheelchair for the day. At one point we stopped for a bathroom break, me and my mum went to the ladies and my sister went round the corner to the disabled toilet. A while later we went over to see what was taking so long and it turned out that even though she was at the front of the queue and the only one in a wheelchair, every single person ignored her and pushed In Front. all of them appeared to be mums with their young kids using it for convenience rather than needing it. However, I cannot make assumptions based on what I could see, it’s possible some of them had invisible disabilities but they could’ve at least acknowledged my sister existed!
Thank you for being so honest with your experiences, it helps able bodied people like me who have never thought about how stressy it can be to be in such awkward situations and wishing someone would just click on. I will do better!
So my story is nowhere as annoying, but a couple years ago, I injured my hand. I literally cut my finger, but I needed surgery to fix it and I had to immobilise it for a couple of months to make sure it healed properly. And while taking public transport was fairly easy, I couldn't really stand on the bus or subway either, because I needed to hold on to a pole with one hand, which I realise sounds easy, but if you're doing things one handed all day, manipulating your body weight with that same hand is hard and can get painful. (This is how much justification you think of in this situation.) There are two instances that stick out very clearly. The first is I get on this bus, it's not rush hour, but I live near a high school and they've just let out. So the bus is packed and there are just high school kids on the accessible seats. There's nine accessible seats on a bus. And I wait for someone to notice me, because I'm too ashamed to ask for a seat, and they're talking to each other and on their phones and no one sees me. Finally someone gets up and I snag their seat. And then an elderly lady gets on, and these other girls who are standing, have to ask one of the high school students to give her their seat. Another time, I get on the subway late at night, and I sit down in an accessible seat. But the next stop, someone with crutches gets on, and no gets up to give her a seat. So I give her my seat with my hand in a cast. We have a lot accessible seats in Toronto and everybody uses them. But when people don't get up for other people who clearly need them, I don't know if everyone is just expecting someone else to get up, or they're just not paying attention. So the moral is "PAY ATTENTION!" We should all be better than this.
Toronto is so bad for this. I’ll sit in a blue seat if there are others available but I always offer to get up. I also always offer to give up my red seat when needed, which is something I feel like most people won’t do. They assume because they’re in a red seat it’s not their responsibility. It’s hard sometimes, though, because I have very low blood pressure and have actually passed out on the subway before because I was uncomfortable asking for someone to give me a seat. When I’m feeling super light headed and just trying to get home so I can eat something and lie down before I pass out, I feel so guilty for taking up a seat. I just look like your average person in their twenties and people don’t know I’m 20 seconds from losing consciousness 😞
I love this video for highlighting the issues. I have a chronic condition in my hip, involving nerve, muscle and bone damage. I’m in chronic pain all the time but 95% of the time that pain won’t be helped with crutches/walking sticks. When I get on a bus/train I find myself exaggerating my limp so when I’m asking someone if I can sit down I look ‘more disabled’ It’s so dumb, but over the years I’ve had so many people question my abilities, or even say ‘you can’t have hip issues, you’re too young’. I’m slowly trying to learn I don’t have to validate myself and my needs to others
I have been using a cane/walking stick for about a year now due to terrific back pain. I am 78 so not going to be looked at the same way a younger person might. It is cruel and difficult for me to imagine anyone giving crap to anyone using a cane/stick. Yours is beautiful. Tap them on the leg and demand a seat, be assertive or you will be ignored. Other people's judgement is not important.
I, too, was a young person who had an open abdominal surgery and needed to use a cane. I looked like shit as I was getting better, and the cane was useful not only helping me stay upright, but in helping other people recognize that I might need a seat, or a little bit of space. My favorite part of carrying a a cane were the older people who saw you, and tipped their hat in solidarity. Carrying a cane is no different than wearing glasses or using a hearing aid. We’re all just doing our best, why not get some help when we need it. Thanks for making these videos.
Im rewatching this video a year and a half after it came out, when it first came out Id just moved to london and was dealing with having chronic pain on the tube and not feeling comfortable in how young i was,now i use a cane, not because ive gotten worst but because ive come to accept how bad my disability is, i do still get a lot of looks from people when im sat in seats but overall time and settling in to who you are especially settling into who you are as a person with a disability/chronic condition was the biggest thing in working to get over that fear of being visibly disabled in public. also! foldable canes! theyre absolutly wonderful, most fit into a backpack and means you can whip it out when you reach the point of needing it!
You met me for the first time when I walk awfully, I didn’t use my walking stick because I didn’t want my brothers friends to see me like that. I noticed that, to try and protect myself, I was Very Rude and I didn’t need to be. You are an Amazing person and I’m SO Sorry for what I did. Please forgive me. Rob. P.S. Hannah had nothing wrong with her and she was just AMAZING!!! I thought people would see me as insignificant because I’d just acquired a head injury. You ARE an inspiration to me and Thankyou.
I may be getting a walking stick soon due to fibromyalgia and chronic pain in my legs and was worried about people thinking I’m faking because I’m young. Thank you for giving disabled people the confidence to use their mobility aids! We need more people like you in this world ❤
I started having to use a cane (walking stick) for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (sister disease to MS and Fibromyalgia) and it’s helped so much in saving a little bit of energy so I am not in massive pain for days after going outside.
As an able-bodied person who's been privileged enough to never need to think about navigating my way in public with a walking stick or disability, I really appreciated this video. Especially the part about your walking stick being a visual cue to others. What a good reminder to pay more attention! Thank you!
Katherine me too
I really, really, appreciate this comment, thank you x
I'm disabled and shy of using it but this may give me my confidence
Yes i agree. One doesnt think about it
The more people see people with aids I'm hoping the more they will be accepted. Sometimes they want to discuss and get info on it. This was what happened when someone saw my "petite" adult rollator. Their mother in law was even smaller. Getting stuff is hard for 10 yr old size adults
I am partially deaf, but often doctors or authorities tell me to present myself as fully deaf so that other people to take it more seriously. And I actually have been accused of faking my disability, because I react to sounds sometimes. Basically what I am trying to say, is that you are not the only one that sometimes unnecessarily adjusted to avoid raising unwanted attention.
Steph BT +
I have 1 hearing-aid for my 'hearing' ear, the other ear is completely deaf. Guess which ear people talk into and wonder why I give them a blank look. Ugh.
Same! I wear a badge that says partially deaf please speak clearly and I do find myself "playing up" my deafness so that people take it seriously. Like i will attempt to sign (i know barely any sign language) to make people face me and speak clearly, particularly when ordering food. I'll also not react to sounds that I can actually hear so as not to be accused of faking it. Which is kinda crazy.
Do you ever have people testing your deafness? I've had people do that and it's soooooo annoying and kind of insulting.
@@jennivamp5 people need to know their place. Deafness is a spectrum as far as I've heard and especially people who are not part of the deaf community have no right to gatekeep it or dictate who belongs to it and who doesn't.
@@jennivamp5You need better friends!
I have autism and I need to use disabled toilets (normal toilets are too busy and noisy for me to handle), but it terrifies me to do so. I've had people tut at me and give me bad looks. I've had people come and tell me off because 'you're not disabled!', and because of my ASD I can't explain that I am disabled. It's always a relief when a 'not all disabilities are visible' sign is on the toilet.
Definitely need signs like that in front of more disabled toilets. Definitely a good message!
Have you ever heard of stick man cards? You can order cards to hand out in moments where you cannot communicate, they offer a brief explanation of what you’re struggling with. 💐
I wear badges too! They help, but a surprising amount of people don't know what autism is v_v
I haven't, I'll look into them, thank you!
Phietle public bathrooms are very very scary to me due to my anxiety it’s a nightmare and I get sweaty all over but I’ve also had bad experiences with disabled bathrooms and due to that I can’t use them anymore so I just need to hold it I do it with a lot of things like if I choke on a piece of food or have a bad experience with it I won’t be able to eat it again without feeling like I’m gonna puke thanks my friend also I’ve never seen them signs on toilets I wish they existed here
I do not use a mobility aid, but I have issues with my knees. Did you ever have anyone react in a "Oh you're too young to need that stick!" type of way? Because I get that a lot. I'm limping or wincing or talking about how my knees are flaring up and someone says "Oh Ella, you're too young to have bad knees!" Oh am I? TELL THAT TO MY KNEES THEN.
Thank-you for being so outspoken and visible for those people who aren't 100% able-bodied in the way society expects us to be.
Not about physical disabilities but I had people tell me I'm too young to be suicidal 🙂
@@marturb119 people need to understand, if you exist, you have BOTH physical and mental health - both of which can be good or bad, regardless of age
@@OlaStellaElla exactly, things are difficult on their own no need for other people's judgment
Oh yeah 😆 my doctors always weirded out by my body because every one of my illnesses occurs in 60 year olds so me having the thing is strange. 🤷♀️
I'm about to get a walking stick because of my knees. I have no strengh or stability and I find it hard to accept it?
When you were talking about using the walking stick as a visual cue I almost started crying. For the past month I've been struggling with an undiagnosed condition that has, among other symptoms, left me with no balance and a pronounced limp on my left side. I've been feeling guilty about my cane because 1. my doctor hasn't told me to use one and 2. part of me wanted it as a visual cue to everyone that something is up with me and to not bump into me because I will fall over. Hearing you say this has just made me feel so much better so thank you.
Don’t feel misplaced guilt. Get the coolest, snazziest looking stick you can find and walk tall with it. You have nothing at all to be ashamed of.
No reason to feel guilty. My wife has walked with one crutch for years because of a serious injury when she was a teenager, and she has them in several different colors.
Go ahead and flaunt your uniqueness...she does.
sometimes I wish I had a walkingstick, especially when I was in public transport after my kidney transplant and people got mad at me for not letting older people sit. It's still tough when you have a chronic illness that isn't obvious and people accuse you of being 'a lazy millennial'.
Right? Usually it is the millennials who give up their seats to people anyway and middle aged able bodied people won't budge. Sorry that happened to you.
Yes! Once an old couple were really abusive when people didn't move, and gave me daggers the whole journey whilst talking about young people having no respect for their elders - little did they know I'd just come out of a major operation for my endometriosis two days ago separating my organs and defiantly couldn't have stood up on the moving train 🙃 people do just presume you're lazy
Yes, some middle aged people are really bad!!!
I relate so much. One time I was sitting on a tram because my stomach hurt so badly and someone asked me to offer them a seat, I could see the judgement in their eyes when I told them that I couldn't. I also have like a chronic fatigue thing? sometimes I just feel very weak and tired, especially in stuffy places (like transport, you know), and I need to seat, but I never ask people to offer me a seat because I'm embarassed. So I just suffer, lol
There was also one time when I was sitting on a bus in a seat (thera are 4 seats in front of the bus that are for people with disability, elder people, pregnant people and people with children, it's a thing in Russia, but everyone sits on them) and middle-aged woman (who was sitting on one of these seats too) told me off very rudely for not offering my seat to a disabled man. I didn't even see him. She could have say that to me when he was still on the bus because I would stand up. But she did see him and didn't offer a seat
I'm an 18 year old college student and when you mentioned not continuing walking while using a cane and I feel the exact same way! I'm constantly anxious that people are going to think that im faking a disability. I also get asked a lot what happened to my leg, it's really wonderful to see another young person using a mobility aid!
About 'accessible priority seating' and trying to get seats when you don't know if the person sitting in it may have an invisible disability --- rather than making eye contact or aiming the message at a single person, I'll say to everyone in general "Is anyone able to give up a seat?" while indicating my cane. Most of the time, someone in the area will get up, but it makes it easier for those with invisible disabilities to say "I can't". And have no qualms with people getting whacked by my cane when I fall because nobody would give up a seat. Sorry folks, I can't make the compensations needed to keep my balance; there's a reason I need to sit!
and yep, I feel totally the same way about not using the cane full time; sometimes I don't need the cane and I'm working to get stronger and greater distance, but I can't go very far (about a city block, currently). I'm getting more comfortable with using my folding cane and putting it in my bag when I don't need it, but still have that "fraud" feeling.
YES! that feeling makes me so awkward, i have major anxiety being in public anyway, supermarket trollets (carts in US) are SO helpful though as you cna put your weight on them and support your walking and not look out of place
ive in past leaned on things with my leg up off floor when i could have stood but then felt eyes were watching me if I then walked off with a crutch, i shouldn't have to 'look' a way to feel I can use something which helps me
I don't have a mobility aid yet and I feel like I would experience that "fraud" feeling exactly for the same reason. It's mostly because people don't understand (in general) that not all disability are the same and that in some case, a mobility aid can be use sometimes and not always. But yeah, ill soon get a mobility aid but I'm not sure I'll be comfortable enough to use it anyway, and I'll surely push my body too far... Especially around my family. My step grand dad had polio when he was a kid and now use a walking stick daily and I'm scared of "appropriating"...
I think of the people who take it upon themselves to call out those they suspect are “faking” their disability as “the disability police no one asked for.” While these people think they are helping disabled people, they end up causing harm. People with invisible illnesses, ambulatory wheelchair users, young people using canes or mobility scooters, these and more are common targets for the “disability police no one asked for” to accuse of faking their disability, to tell off for using accessible spaces/devices “meant for REAL disabled people,” and some of them will continue to escalate the situation with verbal harassment, all because they think they are standing up for “real disabled people.” So yes, as a person with an invisible illness, I am aware of how I look to the outside world. Sometimes it almost feels like I am expected to put on a performance so that I might be considered “disabled enough” for accommodations. Or, on the other end, I must hide my symptoms from some people because it makes them uncomfortable (how do they think I feel when I start to collapse in public?)
lyndsie911 I love this post so much but I do have to admit that I have called someone out for not being disabled because I was with my papa who's paralysed from the waist down and has a blue badge and some person took the last disabled parking spot and didn't have a blue badge up which now that I think about it kinda makes me an asshole...
Was yelled at and called a faker recently by an old woman who was on crutches
Apparently they've never heard of side effects of medications. A lot of medications for really serious illnesses can have side effects like drowsiness, dizziness and other really serious stuff. Especially when drug companies test on men who tend to be 70 lbs heavier on average than women and then doctors go ahead and give that same dose to a 98 pound woman.
Preach
On the other side I had a period where I had some a-holes in my life. The people who would use the handicapped parking and other areas because of the convenience. They would rationalize their way around my objections since: no one was using it: it would only be for a little while; or there was still another space available if needed.
I wish more people did call them out because there ability to get away only strengthened their attitude that they were not doing anything wrong or hurting others.
Please tell me you have a Lucius Malfoy style wand hidden in your cane
I have that stick and as someone who occasionally needs a stick but when I do I lean heavily that is not a helpful stick at all, not to mention it’s very annoying as it fell over once and the wand inside the staff broke from the head/handle.
Oliver Squires aw that’s disappointing! How will you cast avada kedavra at children who lose you your house elf :(
More like Cedric Diggory since they are probably the coolest Hufflepuffers ever; Cedric and Hannah that is.
I want to find someone who can design a cane like that for me!
I have one with a sword in it
I hate using 'I have a boyfriend' because it works on the idea that men respect other men rather than your own consent. But realistically I have to eventually resort to it a lot too and it drives me potty.
I was open to a group of people that I only liked one person and that happened to be a girl, and one of the guys there tried to hit on me and tell me how I need a boyfriend to know what a relationshiop is like. He offered his "services", to make me become a "true woman". I regret not spitting in his face back then.
I think that the fact is more like " oh there is no possibility" . It is not because men respect other men, more like that a girl that already has a boyfriend is much less likely to be interested in someone hitting on her, compared to a girl that has not, because people tend to give importance to relationship, at least ideally.
They just want a reason other than them not being good enough
@@junichiroyamashita Why isn't WE DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU a good enough reason? It is absolutely, totally about the fact that men respect another man's claim over a woman more than they respect the woman herself and her decision to not be interested. Another man's claim means "no" to them, but a woman's clear "no" just means "try until you change my mind".
@@cosmicmuffin322 Mmh,did you ever see someone be so direct? In that case there would be no more room for negotiation, he would have to stop unless he specifically want to be annoying (or desperate). The fact is that more often than not things are not so clear, and,i don t want to start a discussion,but many times when approaching a woman "no " mean s "lets see if you can change my ideas". Of course one must understand when this is the case and when not,but is all down on social skill
Is not because we respect other men,but because we tend to be much more upfront and direct when discussing things, if you have to bargain for something even between men "no " means "try to convince me"
My mum suffers with an invisible disability, and worries that walking while doing things and having her stick under her arm will make people think the same as you Hannah, so she bought a fold up walking stick, so in the morning if she if feeling well she can walk without her walking stick and throughout the day when she feels she needs it, she is able to retrieve it from her bag. Just thought it would be useful for others to know! :)
I use a foldable stick too, for the same reasons! It's so helpful!!
Wow, I didn't know that there are foldable walking sticks that is just want I need
I have fibromyalgia and sometimes need to use a cane, especially when I'm going to be walking or standing a lot (like at the airport, museums, etc.). That one-handed struggle is real! And I never know what to do with my cane - under my arm? between my legs? leaned against a nearby wall? Also I absolutely have that internal struggle/self-judgement of not wanting to be perceived as "fake-disabled or "not disabled enough" vs. legitimately not needing the cane 100% of the time. (By the way, in that vein, having a cane that I can fold up into my purse and pull out only when needed has CHANGED MY LIFE.)
Omg I have fibromyalgia too! I got proper daggers on a bus once because I was kitted out in my gear on the way to the gym and a bunch of old people were passive aggressively talking about the fact I was sitting in the priority seats. I dunno if they were braver about it because I had headphones on and they thought I couldn't hear but just as I got off I said to them "yeah I'm going to the gym for my physio therapy" and they all looked sooooooo embarrassed :p
Invisible disabilities are the worst. I don't have fibro, but chronic pain is definitely something I can relate to, and you ladies and all your fellow sufferers have my sympathies.
ColleenBeaty, some pharmacies offer canes that are designed to stand up on their own when you take your hand off of them (they have a flat or 4-legged base on the bottom). My mother used one before she died and the wider base can also provide a little more support and stability which is definitely very helpful at times.
Debbersisnotnormal, good for you! You tell the nosey old so-and-sos. I hate when people judge your level of disability just by looking at you. As if that says ANYTHING about how well or not well you actually are. I love that you humiliated then and, hopefully, made them think and maybe be a little more tolerant next time :)
❤🙌
GIRL SAME! I have never related to a comment more and a love it (and also hate it) lol. My foldable cane is my best friend ❤😂 That constant anxiety of not being "disabled enough" and the imposter-syndrome-fueled guilt you feel for using your cane when you don't 100% need it but are also in public and fear judgement or straight-up obstruction when you do need access to some accommodations....ugh it SUCKS
I was really embarassed about my walking stick (I'm 19 years old) because it made me feel old. Something that really helped me was decorating mine. My boyfriend and I decorated it with duct tape, stickers, and rhinestones, and got a few character keychains and things to hang on it. It makes me feel a lot more confident and I always like getting compliements on it
Thank you so much! I'm a bit younger and getting a cane for my disability in a couple days and I wasn't sure how I'd counteract that, but decorating it is a great idea!
@@starcycle4308 i'm so glad this was able to help 😁👍
@@Zippy15have a look at neo-walk!! I’m 20, I’m about to take the first step and use mobility aids in public, when I found that after being recommended by most groups(I have many chronic illnesses and multiple of them causes my need for the aids) I am in, I felt hope.
Shirley here, I feel like u do but once u get use to it it's not bad. Nobody looks at it, I never really noticed people walking with theirs either. I am goth so it's not that bad ster having hip replacement 7 weeks ago.
I can't even imagine the difficulties you've endured but I'm SO impressed by the generally positive and inspiring way you've overcome them and I'm REALLY impressed with how open and public you've been! You're helping SO many who may have the same hurdles and you're doing it with such an enlightened manner!
Thank you. I’m 21 and use a walking stick sometimes and some days need a wheelchair. It’s so lovely to hear about someone that can rationalize it the same way but still feel have the same fears💕
Im 19 and ive used my cane (its blue with a paisley pattern) a few times mostly for back pain and knee pain. And i also feel like i have to put on a show of needing it constantly. That actually is what keeps me from using it more. I hope that when I study abroad i can leave that stigma behind me. Its so nice to see youtubers speaking out about illness and disability. Thank you for being honest about this 💜💜
One of the students in my class aged about 19-20 years, used crunches to walk around. And seeing him throughout the classes with his dignity in spite of his disability was so inspiring. Even his fellow students were extremely helpful. As a 25 years old able-bodied teacher, this was new to me. But I have learned so much from the experience of being around him.
Thanks Hannah, for talking about it. You reminded me of all those things I had learned. 😊
creepy man experience:
My Dad has a bad back & every so often he uses a wheelchair in place of his cane if we plan to be out for most of the day. Usually my bro is the one who pushes him cause he's taller (5'10) & thus people will part faster than if they saw me (5'5).
This day we were at a local fair, walking through the concessions area. My bro was pushing our Dad, I was on the left side holding onto the hand bars. My Dad was wearing his Vietnam vet hat, & we'd gotten a few people coming up to shake our father's hand etc. Which leads into our story...
A older man, I'd say late 40's/early 50's came up on the right side of my dad, gave him a hand a shake, said "thank you for your service spiel" & began having a small convo. (All whilst moving through a large mass of people).
I'm not really paying attention to him; but at one point he ends up walking around to my side.
(Do you see where this is going?)
Then to my left I hear "Hey little lady, get off his wheelchair." Before I have time to turn in confusion, said guy has put one hand on my upper left arm & the other wrapped around my right side, HARD. As if to pull me off, like some burly bodyguard. Thankfully my brother had his wit's about him, stops walking/pushing our father & goes "Get off my sister you creep." The man immediately releases me & puts both hands up. "I'm sorry dude, I was just..." "You can leave now." (Brother) & the guy backs away, with hands still in the air. Meanwhile I'm just giving him the biggest wtf face, as is my Dad.
Thankfully this is the only time this has happened. *Knocks on wood* I still get supper uncomfortable everytime we go out w/ said wheelchair now.
Yeesh what was UP with that guy??? Did he think you were like a stranger who just like?? Latched on to someone's wheelchair and that the person pushing the chair or the person in the chair like just hadnt noticed somehow?? Like what. What even
Everything here resonates with me strongly. Thank you, Hannah! I'm young but my unstable knees have meant injuries, surgeries, arthritis, and navigating NYC in the slippery winter. You describe that edge-of-recovery predicament so well. I have a folding cane that I can use for just the ice, stairs, subway, or just the end of the day. It also has a wrist strap which is handy for quickly using both hands (lip balm etc.) and can stand up by itself. It's called the HurryCane.
Edit: Transport for Greater Manchester now also offer a similar scheme! Anyway back to the original comment
People who don't live in london! I ordered a "please offer me your seat" badge from amazon and it works a treat! I have my keys on a lanyard so I've found attatching the badge to my key lanyard helpful so when I'm getting ready to leave the house I just put my lanyard on so I don't have to rummage through my bag for my keys, leave it on on public transport to get to my destination and then when I get off I just put the lanyard in my bag. No faffing about trying to take a badge on and off and also you'll never forget it bc it's on your keys
Jeanna Roberts can I ask where on Amazon you got yours (or what you searched lol maybe I'm just typing the wrong things) I looked and unfortunately couldn't find anything. Plenty of "not all disabilities are visible" but that's not quite the same...
@@melissaswartzel5403 i literally just typed in "please give me your seat badge "
Do you need to prove you live in London for a tfl one??? That's BS.
Thank you
I don't know, i never tried to get a TFL one
I totally understand what you mean about needing that visual cue to show that you’re fragile, I have POTS which is an invisible illness and I always feel as if I need something, anything, to show people that I’m a sick person. No one but me knows how I am feeling so I could be walking around feeling dizzy and one bump from someone could knock me over or I may need to actually lay down on a bench so I don’t pass out. I always feel like I need to visually prove my illness to others. I’m thankful that I don’t need a mobility aid but I do know that some people with pots do need the extra hand with walking. I just wish their wasn’t this voice in my head that tells me my illness needs to be visible to be validated. If I were to get onto a busy train and ask for a seat, honestly people would probably not believe me and I’d have to suffer through a train ride standing. So I am one of those people who don’t look ill sitting in a disability seat on the train when it’s busy
Hi! How long have you had pots for? My symptoms started feb 27 and I was diagnosed June 20th I think. Are you doing okay with managing symptoms? Pots sucks so much
Eve wow that’s such a long time to be diagnosed. You are definitely doing the right thing by drinking a lot of fluids and keeping an eye on your heart rate, I was told by my doctor to drink at least 3-4L of fluids a day which is crazy but really does help. When I go out I always make sure I have my Apple watch 3 to keep an eye on my heart rate (I’m on coralan so it doesn’t always play up) and an electrolyte drink of some kind, also a Vog mask to avoid sick people. If I’m not doing particularly well that day I’ll take it easy and not push myself to do too much and I’ll sit whenever possible that way I can avoid having to embarrassingly lay down in the middle of a shop 😅😅 if you’ve got blood pooling issues you can try and use compression socks, they may or may not help. You can also raise your feet above your head on a wall or something and that will help but make sure that you take your time going from laying with feet up to laying down to sitting then to standing otherwise you might get dizzy. Some people with pots need an extra increase in salt. Exercise is so important with pots, if you look up the blog stronger then pots she has so much good info on exercise with pots and other ways to handle life with pots. Pretty much all I know is from that blog 😂. Personally I prefer swimming but I also do some exercises in bed since when I first developed pots I was laying flat a lot and now my lower back is stuffed so I need to correct that. Unfortunately I don’t know how to help brain fog or fatigue which are two of my most annoying symptoms 😅 that’s all I can really think of. Oh when it’s hot I’d try and stay in air conditioning or have plenty of cold ice water and cooling wipes and eat ice blocks because pots can cause temperature control so you can have a heat intolerance but you can also get too cold so it’s just a matter of figuring out what’s best for you. I live in Australia and it gets so ridiculously hot here I’m so not prepared for dealing with pots in summer 😩 well it’s actually spring but we only really get two seasons here, summer and winter 😂 I hope everything works out for you
Eve I get you with the exercise, I hate it so much that’s why I swim because it’s fun 😂
Hahahah when I was working it would hit me soo hard and I’d just on the ground in front of stock and pretend to ‘fix it’ 😂
i have Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome which is usually accompanied by POTS which i also have. before i had my cane i had actually fallen over on the bus when nobody would give me their seat and i broke my tailbone. never again, i will literally argue with people so i can sit down because i just cant put myself through more unnessecary pain on top of the horrible chronic pain i have all the time
Maddi AverageCanadian that is horrible! I have some knowledge of Eds, just the basics, so it really much be horrible to go out and have to argue with someone to get a seat so you don’t break or dislocate anything. Especially since dislocations are so common with Ed’s
As a wheelchair user who can stand while leaning, I've stood up in stores to reach for something and had people say I was faking. And I've been disabled my whole life.
I understand completely about the need to look unhealthy or disabled or damaged. I have starting stages of early onset arthritis and fell down some stairs and messed up my wrist a few years ago. Now I wear a wrist brace for support. Most days with physio it's fine and I don't wear it while I'm at work or Just living my life but I've noticed I have to wear it more and more because people forget I can't do stuff. I may be able to lift that shopping bag now but later I'm gonna pay for it... I've started wearing it and weakening my wrist further just to show people I can't do stuff.. it's a terrible thing and you are a brilliant and brave person for standing up for yourself and others around you! Xxx
Thank really really sucks dude, I hope you find time to yourself where you can take it off without having to worry about other people
@@jbaby362 I think that is a good wish for everyone ... xx
I'm so happy you made this video! As a fellow young chronically ill person, I appreciate it! After my major episodes in hospital, I have a wheel chair to use if I need it for simple things like grocery shopping or if my friends wanted to take a long trip to the mall where we would walk around a lot. It's strange getting the interactions I would have. Especially, since my illness is more invisible. (I have Dysautonomia) I would get weird looks or have people just staring at me.
My biggest thing though was when I didn't need to use it. People would get all weird about why I had one in the first place. And like you, I didn't want them to see that I could be without it and them have them judge and ask all these questions.
I'm 20 and have arthritis and recently i've needed to use a walking stick i don't need it all the time if i know i'm doing a lot of walking or walking long distances then the walking stick definitely helps with that. Seeing this video helps as I've had the same thoughts and feelings as this when it came to using a walking stick and it helps to know i'm not alone. I also had an incident where i fell over on the tube in London i didn't have my walking stick at the time but standing up for the period of time it took to get to the next stop was difficult for me so the person i was with was asking for people to give up their seats and it was a woman like 3 seats down who got up to offer her seat and the train started moving as i tried stepping over these people's feet, ended up tripping up on the Man's feet who was sat in the priority seats who refused to move and ended up falling face first into the lap of the man sat next to the first one and it was very embarrassing.
Hannah - you are totally wonderful in your communication skills. Your videos are eloquent, intelligent and expressive and no doubt are helping a lot of people. Personally, I totally empathise with the feeling of frailty in a public place after surgery but I never thought of getting a stick. Sharing your experiences will be giving hope and optimism to others, a noble position in life.
ITS SUCH A HUFFLEPUFF WALKING STICK I LOVE IT
Thank you for making this video. I’ve been suffering from a long disability and have have a stick for over a year now and am always so reluctant to use it. It’s so refreshing to see someone younger than me be so upbeat and full of life in regards to being a young person needing a stick.
In my experience, commuters are the worst by a long way, especailly in the evening. It's like they've forgotten that there's other people trying to get home too. They don't move down the carriage, they don't get out of the way when people are getting off, so the likelyhood of them offering a seat to anyone is really low unfortunately. I also don't condone using your stick in anger, but I completely understand sometimes!
my second visit to London, i shouted 'can people move down the carriage please?' on the tube, i did think i may be punched but at that point the door was beeping and i wasn't fully in the carriage doors and i panicked - i had forgotten i'm 6'3 and built like an outhouse - this may have helped things. i dont tend to shout often and even yesterday a subway lady (the sandwich shop not the system of transport) had to ask me to speak up - i'm like the lovechild of Hightower and Hooks from police academy :D
@@AutieDino haha, I laughed way too loud at that police academy reference (luckily there's no one home but me at the moment) 😂
it’s really nice to see someone else who doesn’t get embarrassed or feel shame easily, these days everyone gets embarrassed and ashamed and people get really shocked and kind of take my unembarrassment for granted sometimes, it’s cool how you’re also so open and unashamed about everything :)
*Much love to all of you with mobility aids* 💕
I was just talking to my sister literally the other day about how a walking stick would help me tremendously but I couldn't fathom the amount of people that would stare and or feel pity for me, comment negatively etc (bcz btw people are not always the nicest especially when it comes to things like this).. UPDATE: I don't need a mobility aid anymore but it's still a problem that needs to be addressed ...
I still have friends who can't understand why I only occasionally use my walking stick 🙄 sometimes I don't take it out when it probably would have helped just so I don't have to explain myself which is so stupid saying it now but in the moment seems like the logical solution
I’ve walked with crutches my entire life. People do stare, and they do say stupid (but often good-intentioned) things. Some people flat out say “what happened to you?” And that definitely stings. But you learn to stare back and make THEM the uncomfortable ones, lol.
Casey Gale I hate when "people say stupid but good-intentioned things" because you usually get hurt but can't really get back at them since you know they didn't mean it.
I too hate when people ask for an explanation. Why do they expect us to tell them everything in detail lol it's just rude.
TheAlivere I feel like people have a rigid image when it comes to this. It's either you're flat out disabled / wheelchair-bound or you're completely fine/ able-bodied, there's no in between.
Hi Reem, I had the same issues, so haven't bought one. But my sister has offered me some hiking walking sticks, maybe they can help?? They look less 'disable'. I'll feel less ashamed. Maybe I'll try that when I'm in pain again with my knee.
I'm happy to see a video like this! I'm 29 and have had to use a walking stick off and on for several years bow due to chronic arthritis. When it flares up bad enough, walking and standing become almost impossible without it.
In my own personal experience, I have felt embarrased a lot using it because every time I do I get stared at a lot and I'm nog sure why. It's important to get more visibility out there for younger people needing them. I feel like maybe people are skeptical of the need when they see me with it.
I feel this so much. I work in London and use my cane to support my shitty joints or signal to others I need some a seat. I am not ashamed of my disability but I resist taking my foldable cane out of my bag when I need it. I often don't know I need it until I am public/train station when the symptoms hit suddenly. They cannot see my pain or my dizziness but I feel their judgement when they see me able to walk & still take out my cane & wearing my please offer me a seat badge. I feel the pressure to perform my disability so they just stop staring. I find the younger the person the more likely they are to offer me a seat.
I feel the same...
All the best squirrels. On which line(s) do you travel?
I am relieved to hear I am not alone but I wish you didn't have to feel like this too. I mostly take the green/yellow/ purple lines which I find better because of the aircon, and it tends to be younger people than my old commute, so I am more likely to get a seat.
Ah ok, I'm a lot of the Discrict lines and Southeastern.
Why don't you just stop moaning and get on with your life by strengthening your core
Saw you on ITV, very proud! :)
Embarrassing story when someone offered me a seat on Paris Metro. I have a physical disability so people usually offer me a seat. The man stood up and the train started to move as I sat down so I just fell on this woman's lap on the next seat. She said something to me in French I did that British thing when you overly apologise. I was so so embarrassed
In the name of the French community, I truly apologise. Paris Metro is not ok at all for people who have physical disabilities, we need to change that.
@@ninap.3631 Thank you. Once I was on the train it was alright. Just walking to change lines it felt like miles and the amount of stairs was insane
Oh yeah, so many stairs in the Paris Metro! I had a similar thing happen where I fell over precisely because the train started after I let go of what I was holding onto in order to take the seat that was offered.
I watched this video about a year ago when I was preparing to start using a cane at age 27. I’ve been using it full time for a year and it has improved my life. I haven’t had anyone be weird to me about it in public, but then again I’ve been living in Japan where people are less likely to approach you with weird comments. Thanks for putting this out there!
I was telling my friend for YEARS to smack people with her sight cane. She started whacking me with it though so hitting people with your disability aid is a BAD IDEA AND ALSO DON'T HIT YOUR FRIENDS
lol, this is so funny!
maybe she was trying to but it took practice ;)
As someone with paralysis who uses a wheelchair, it's interesting to hear what stuck out more to you. For me, those offhand questions about my mobility aid feel a lot more emotional since it's a long and unpleasant story, and there's no uplifting "but I'll be better soon" sort of thing. I really like how you're spreading the word that disabilities are on a spectrum and not black and white. I hope your recovery is going well!
My boyfriend is partly sighted. He doesn't use a stick. He doesn't need it day to day.
I can't remember the name of his condition and it's really complicated to explain so let's just say he has no peripheral vision, so he doesn't see you walking paying attention to your phone and not at what's around you, he doesn't see your kids running around.
So sometimes if we are in a shopping centre or somewhere busy he might get walked into alot because he doesn't see people coming.
So when we were going on holiday he got a white stick for the airport because similar to you, it's an aid for making people around you aware that you might need space, help etc.
No one paid a single bit of attention to it and he was so angry because it was a new environment for him.
I just want to say can we all be aware of our surroundings more. Pay more attention to people and note if they have any mobility/vision aids etc. It makes a world of difference.
Just wanted to thank you for this video. Last year my Mum had 2 full hip replacement surgeries and therefore needed mobility aids during recovery. She is in her 50s and very young for her age. She was also incredibly fit to the extent that she hadn't needed a walking stick before her surgery, despite how bad her joints had gotten, so this was a massive adjustment. Not just the practicalities but also the way that she was perceived and perceived herself in the world. I showed her this video and it really helped her come to terms with her new (albeit temporary) reality and feeling confident going out with her sticks. She is now well on her way to full recovery and has even started dancing and going to the gym again but after each of her surgeries she had no idea how long recover would take for her and how much of her former ability she would regain so your openness gave her the boost she needed to adjust. Thank you.
I looooove stuff you're making on these topics so much!!!
I'm very happy you're talking about stuff like this! More people talking about what would seem touchy subjects is the best way to remove stigma and it's great that you're giving confidence to your audience by setting an example. I wish you all the best
Please, hit creepy guys with the stick and become the local superhero.
Ah ah!
Admiration and Lust is *highly* creepy when when it's unwanted and makes people feel uncomfortable. Don't apologise for perverted behaviour.
Yes, please do!!!!
@Sebastian Spoken like a true creep, creep.
Hannah, I have to use a walking stick because I had a below knee amputation. Like you I have recently been diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, so I can fully relate to having a hidden and a visible disability. All I can say is do everything you can that you used to do. Every little bit helps to make you stronger and gives you a boost to your feelings about yourself.
You are incredible and lovely 💕
Great video! As someone who deals with chronic pain, which is kind of fluid in terms of how bad it is on any given day, I do feel quite awkward asking for a seat on the bus etc. Especially as a young woman who does dress up when I go out, and no visible aid or "sick look." People are just so judgey and I appreciate that you made a whole video about your experience because it makes me feel less alone.
When i used to live in London I would always stand up if i saw someone who needed a seat and/or was asked to move! Tbf sometimes i would need to be asked because i was so tunnel vision on my phone 😂
I broke my foot also once so had a snow boot shoe on my foot and on only one occasion someone offered me a seat because i was too shy to ask.
Also you did amazing Lorraine today Hannah!
I have 1 friend who has an invisible disability and another who's is more visible but not always. It's nice to see someone explaining struggles similar to those I care about but has a bigger platform to inform others. Glad your recovery is going well hannah!
You uploaded this right as I saw your interview on Lorraine! Great job this morning!
Thank you so much for this. I'm a veteran and still get embarrassed too use my cane because I'm so young (ish). Hearing that you had the same fears is such a relief.
Thank you so much for this! so so many truths in this video! , I'm 21 , currently going through a diagnosis to find out what's wrong with my body , doctors and I believe possibly 2 different chronic invisible illnesses and I had to use a stick for the first time in my life on a day out with my family as I was really struggling , I didn't feel embarrassed because I knew I NEEDED the stick to help me , I couldn't of gone without it on that day , I found that people are impatient and it really opened my eyes to how people view disabled people.
Although I think I certainly felt more comfortable that it wasn't in my home town that I was using the stick , it was on a day out so I knew I wouldn't see anyone I knew.
That fact that you share everything you go though make you an inspiration to women everywhere. You shame of what people think. You a role model for young girls to look up to
I think one day you should do a collaboration with martina from "eat your kimchi". She has to use mobility aids too, and deals with "on the outside you look fine, you're not disabled".
I had chronic fatigue for a lengthy period of time after an illness, so I became aware of invisible conditions and the issue of needing a seat when you need one. Thanks for making this video, it was very informative!
Lovely insightful video. Your walking stick does look amazing! 💛 And I totally get what you mean about feeling like you have to look like you need the stick for fear of others judging. Obviously it's absolutely fine for you to take and use your stick even though you're relying on it less at the beginning of the day, and as you said there are plenty of people who don't always need their mobility aid but they're still very much justified in having them with them, however people who don't know do judge (like people saying "Oh I saw that she walked once, what does she have a wheelchair for" or similar stuff), and even though we shouldn't care about what people think when they're in the wrong, I can totally empathize with the instinct of "I don't want them to make a false assumption about me, I do need my stick so I'm going to try and show it to everyone". Hopefully with time people will be more informed and this will become less of a problem (but considering the rudeness of people on the tube, especially at rush hour, I doubt it will ever disappear completely).
Oh Hannah these videos make me nearly weep because you've put into words my thoughts every day! Whenever I come out of a disabled bathroom I feel like I always have to "look disabled enough", it's a terrible mentality but sadly there are some people out there who are far too quick to judge. I feel oddly better about my situation now, mobility aids or not
Thanks for posting this video. It's really good to see someone talk about this topic. I have had to use crutches for an invisible condition roughly 6 months of the year for 20 years (since my early teens) and live in London. Hannah all I can say is you have been very lucky with the Tube. Maybe its because I'm a tall man but it is rare for me to be offered a seat on the Tube without asking for it (even standing in front of someone with the crutches) and even if I ask I only get given a seat perhaps half the time (less in rush hour). I too have had the falling over trying to get down the carriage to a seat (more than once) but the responses I have had are either people swearing at me for falling into them or once everyone around me laughing. Oh, and as a side note people treat you better on the Tube than trains and on buses it is much much worse.
I think it is really good that someone with your profile is talking about being young and having to use walking aids. I absolutely understand the whole not physically needing the aid at that time but having to use it as a form of protection to let people know you have a condition: it's something I have had to do for a few weeks a year most of my life and it is erksome, and I have certainly had the quandary of being out with crutches but not needing them that exact moment and having to choose whether to stop to do something that needs my hands or just tuck one under an arm and do it - I too almost always go for the stop option, as I am embarrassed for someone to think I am 'fake disabled' as you put it (indeed more than once when I have gone for the keep going with crutch under arm I have been heckled by strangers on the street about being a faker and the like.
I have been in hospital with other young people over the years who have been really embarrassed about using sticks or crutches in public and it is a good message to both them and the wider world that it is not something to be ashamed of nor something that it is acceptable for others to use to bully the user.
As someone who's on the verge of a Crohn's diagnosis and needs a cane to walk, I so appreciate this video. I felt so ashamed for having to get a cane and my blue badge, literally took me a full year of being chronically ill to admit I needed it. You honestly have no idea how much your videos help me feel like I'm not alone, just wanted to say thank you so much for your content!
On the fact of you feeling awkward carrying your cane and not wanting to do it. When I heard you say that It really comforted me as I feel the exact same way. I sometimes need to use a wheelchair but I can still walk short distances and if I need to get/do something that involves standing up I feel so awkward and scared that someone might confront me to the point where I just don’t do it.
I appreciated that you were concerned that someone already sitting may have an invisible disability. Here's a tip. When I was injured and it was not obvious, I would ask a candidate for their seat by qualifying, "If you are not injured yourself, may I please have your seat today? I'm struggling today." Everyone I asked got up for me. Or someone within a seat or two jumped up. Often a couple of people immediately offered. I always thanked them and said I would pay it forward too. Nice work btw and I love your walking stick!
!! 14:10 oooh I've dealt with that struggle a lot, especially on public transport and travels, which is why I made the decision to get myself a collapsible stick! I was able to store it in my backpack until i deemed in necessary. It is a bit like carrying a small umbrella and I have yet to regret my decision (eventhough they don't come in as many pretty designs and colors)! It takes a bit of courage to just wip it out and start using it, but it definitly is worth it
Getting myself a foldable cane has made my life so much better! I agree it does take some courage to pull it out in front of people who just saw you standing/walking without it, but usually once I've hit the point of needing it I'm already past the point of caring enough to avoid using it.
Hannah, thanks for being so honest with your experiences and I'm glad you are moving along well in your recovery!
I have low vision and used to live in London. I used a cane to ID me as someone who can't see very well. Some people were kind, one woman on the Overground had a bit of a rant at people one evening on my way home from work because everyone ignored me. I was very grateful for her after a really shit day at work. I got a lot of older people giving me their seat on the Tube which I was very uncomfortable with. The worst times were when I would stand in front of the accessible seats and people would look up and judge whether I needed the seat - if I was dressed professionally they often wouldn't offer me the seat even though I had a white cane. Or they figured I hadn't seen them notice and looked away again. I had a rather short cane and once I was fed up with people ignoring me in busy areas I would raise the cane so it was closer to crotch-height. That's a sure way to clear a path down Regent Street on a weekend!
The thing with worrying about being accused of faking disability is that it's a real thing that lots of people worry about. And for good reason. People have fluctuating conditions, people need different aids on different days but society has been sold so many lies about what disability actually is. Also that able-bodied people feel they have a right to police it and be the ones to make judgements on what disability is and what disabled folks need. So much of this leads to internalised ableism that prevents people from using the aids they need or prevents them from always using them in ways that are most and solely beneficial to that person. We have a lot of work to do on this as a society because 1 in 7 people have some kind of disability. We aren't going anywhere.
I had a hysterectomy in 2013. I also empathise with you when it comes to abdominal surgeries.
I'm not physically disabled but I understand the whole conflict between needing your stick as a visible aid to remind people but not actually needing it all the time. I have an anxiety disorder which most of the time, I am completely in control of. I have my strategies and a routine I keep to so most of the time I can function like an 'average' human being. BUT it gets to a point when my friends and family start to forget (which isn't their fault; they've got busy lives too I don't blame them) that I am very sensitive to what they say or do and it can have a massive impact on me and my mental health because I am functioning 'normally'. When I'm not having a very good mental health day, sometimes I do wish it was acceptable to walk around with a sign saying "I am fragile, please be patient". These videos have taught me so much, Hannah. Thank you xx
I have an invisible disability (a mobility aid wouldn't help me) that means that i really need to sit down on public transport. I get so stressed when i use public transport when it's busy. Firstly, if there's no seat, i hate to ask anyone to give theirs up. I look perfecty able bodied and have nothing to prove that i'm not so no one would think to offer. If i to do manage to sit down and happen to be in an accessible seat, i'm constantly anxious that i'm going to be asked to give up my seat. I spend the whole bus ride rehearsing what i'm going to say if i'm asked.
I once spent a 3 hour train journey sat on the floor because i was too shy to ask for a seat and i was extremely unwell afterwards as a result.
I wish there was a nationally recognised "disabled" identity card or something similar that would be recognisable and i could show to people to make it clear that i'm not being selfish, but that i do really need a seat. It's great that TFL have a system but i've not heard of one anywhere else. It's frustrating because the national schemes in place at the moment aren't officially recognised and you have to pay for the card... so i could buy this card and then non one would know what it meant anyway!
Exactly the same Tessa! I am unable to stand up on public transport for longer than 10 minutes or so... I can manage for a stop or two on the tube, but much longer and I feel so unwell that the pain means I feel like I’m going to pass out! I look perfectly healthy, and a stick wouldn’t make much difference to me either!
I have had a confrontation once where I sat in a priority seat on a bus on the way home from uni... the uni bus in the evening was as busy as the tube during rush hour, so I needed to sit down. I managed to get a seat fine... but had a woman come on at the next stop who tried to get me out of my seat. No matter how much I explained, she didn’t listen at all! I feel like people are getting better now and more awareness is being raised... but it still scares me so much!
Oh my gosh, it was so wonderful to hear that you, too, worry about "faking your disability". I'm not physically disabled, but I am dyslexic, and I fear a lot of the time when people see me writing or reading, they'll accuse me of faking. I had the privilege of having a private teacher to teach me to read and write, so I can, just slower than others. I struggle a lot with directions and spatial awareness, but some days are better than others. When I say the correct direction, I always worry someone will believe I'm faking. It's been something I've struggled with for years... Even though no one has actually said anything like that to me. Having you talk so openly about it made me realize exactly how irrational it is. Maybe I need to start embracing my disability's quirks. Thanks so much, Hannah
This video is excellent, thank you for speaking about your experiences :) I'm sharing it with a group I'm part of called the Disabled Feminists Collective ,and I think a lot of them will really benefit from either learning or being validated in their experiences :) xx
At 34 I am choosing my first walking stick after a severe injury to my lower leg meaning I am now sporting a lot of metalwork. I am going through the anxieties and concern due to the stigma of a stick. Thanks for posting
this video was amazing!!!! it was really cool to hear about what its like having a walking stick
As a recent visitor to London I've given my seat on the tube and DLR to people who needed it. As someone with an 'invisible' permanent injury I find it hard to get a seat when I need it. I broke my back in a workplace accident 5 years ago at 27 years old. Some times I'm fine, sometimes I'm not and sometimes it deteriorates throughout the day but people just see me as a 'young' person not a person with an injury because they can't see it. Good on you for not being afraid to use your stick to get and maintain your independence. I did notice a number of younger walking stick users at SitC and subconsciously I'm like #MyPeople. It's always nice not feeling alone.
I think for the most part those with a disability have been fetishised* by the media in that we only see severe cases which are framed either as great tragedies who we should feel sorry for or as inspirations that we can learn from because if they can triumph then so can you, at least you are able. They aren't seen as being normal people who you could be friends with because this framing alienates them and so it's harder to see disability as being on a scale with some needing less aid than others and to even identify less visible disabilities.
I'm by no means saying this is how I perceive people with disabilities. It really upsets me that people are so skeptical and would question giving you a seat on the tube and this is a response to why there's such a stingy attitude towards offering help to those who need it.
*in this context I'm not referring to sexual fetishes, which is a whole other subject. I mean putting people with disabilities on a pedestal. Correct me if I'm not using correct terminology, I just can't think of a better word.
Actually, you're using the word pretty correctly. In anthropology (as opposed to psychology), to fetishize an item is to assign a mystical significance to it. So if something is set apart from every day life, it can be said to be fetishized.
And, FINALLY, that stupid Anthro degree has come in handy for something!!! :D
I feel for you. 30 yrs ago I was told to use a walking stick. I thought no I'm 28. Now using two crutches I still face those looks and people who don't want to move out of my way. Your video is amazing. People need to realise that not all disabilities are visible. But sadly most are to wrapped up in their own little bubble. I hope your recovery goes well. Keep up the good work.
I've kinda always been terrified of public transport that you have to stand on. I have postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome so I can't stand for long periods of time and I have ehlers danlos syndrome which is a connective tissue disorder that makes me dislocate my joints fairly often so I have chronic pain. But I look like a completely normal person. I'm afraid that when I get on there will be no seats or that I get a seat but then someone with a visible disability comes on. Idk what I would do...
I have Ehlers Danlos too :D hello friend
HSD here, Hi cousin! This is a concern I've had as well; what if my knees are unstable? what if I sublux a shoulder/elbow/wrist holding onto something when there's a bump/jerk?
Mostly I just try to ignore these voices in my head and thankfully nothing terrible has happened, but I'm definitely too shy to ask, and if someone with a visible disability came and asked me for a seat I'd probably just get up and -hobble- run away, irrationally embarrassed. But if I didn't have those options I'd probably end up hiding at home all the time and no one wants to live like that
Eve hi! So pots can be hard to treat but the three main things that help me are staying well hydrated by drinking at least 75/80 oz of water every day (the suggested amount for a normal person is 64 oz) and eating lots of salt to help regulate low blood pressure. Another really helpful thing for me is beta blockers to help with heart rate. I’ve tried compression stockings but they did pretty much nothing for me (but I’d still recommend you try cos every one is different) the hardest one is exercise, reconditioning your body is really really hard so I recommend trying for a referral to physical therapy and your physical therapists will teach you some exercises to do. Also if you do orthostatics (just google pots testing/tilt table test or ask me and I’ll explain how to do it) and the change in heart rate is over 30 bpm then you have pots. If I didn’t explain probably or it’s confusing I can give you my snapchat or Instagram to explain better. Good luck fellow spoonie
Mel Swazie yeah! Invisible illnesses are hard to handle in public. Maybe you should look into those badge/card things @ 12:11
Potsies unite! 👋
I chose a red cane because I wanted something simple but also expressed me. I love red. Especially red flannel, red & black checkered, etc. Most of my clothes are black or red and black so it fits my style well too
I don't have a walking stick but I do have an invisible illness which effects my mobility (and i will be getting one of those bages wen i move to london) but i understand what you mean about feeling like you have to put on a show. I find especially around people who are hesitant to believe in my condition or when I'm using priority seats I feel if I hide my pain as I am used to doing I am going to get called out and so it feels like I have to try and look like I'm in as much pain as I am (which Im usually good at covering up from long term experience) to appease them. Dont know if that makes sense
Yes! I totally sympathise! I've had to do that myself many times. We get used to hiding it, but in public I just make it obvious. I was in the chemist getting my prescription, and all the seats were taken, so I just looked stressed/exhausted and screwed my face up until someone took the hint!
I know in the US there is something called tbe Hurry cane. It folds up, has awrist wrap and itr stands on its own. I do t know if it available in other countries or not, but it may be helpful to you. Tnat way you can stop, let go of the cane to do whatevee, andd he cane is right there.
I understand what you are saying but I think it's crazy you have to feel that way. I'm not disabled myself but I know that not all disabilities are visible. Maybe I get it more because I'm a nurse but chronic illnes isn't predictable, some days are going to be better then others and some days mobility aids are more needed then others. I wish that would be a wide spread understanding so that it wouldn't be needed to 'put on an act'. As you said, you get used to functioning with pain and don't show it as much. Hope your experiences with this will improve. Well wishes from the Netherlands
I also love that you are talking about having a temporary mobility issue. There are a lot of issues specific to temporary mobility issues (as well as ones that fluctuate), that aren't talked about so much.
A suggestion about the creeps in public: Tell them straight-up that you want them to leave you alone. Don't feel bad, many of them lack in social skills (disability related or not) and need clear orders.
If they ignore it, look around for anyone who notices your uncomfortableness and tell them if they'd please tell that person that they should go as apparently they're not able to understand what you're saying.
Yes, this is a kind of shaming, but a legit one imo since it helps everyone involved.
Edit: I work with people with mental disabilities (not always visible) who often come of as 'creeps' when it's really just an inability to process social cues.
The part about wanting to feel legitimate and not wanting people to think you're faking it... applies to other invisible disabilities as well. Thank you. I've never taken the time to fully discuss my depression with my university, partly because it comes and goes, partly because I didn't / don't feel "disabled enough" (especially due to the invisible nature of it and not having a wheelchair etc), combined with the societal pressure / lie that we can "conquer our minds" and "be positive" which somehow puts the blame on me.
OH MY GOD I align with you so much! With my chronic pain I need a cane but not all the time. However, I’m self conscious about people assuming I don’t have a disability. And the amount of times I get asked what’s wrong with my leg, ugh. The most annoying one is “what did you do to yourself?” I DID NOTHING! Like I don’t deserve this but it’s just my life now. I’m 26 too and it’s so frustrating. I don’t go out in public very often and I can’t take public transit, but being one handed is so annoying and rude people is enough at my work. I work at retail with a mobile payment device so I’m constantly stopping to do something because I have my cane in my hand. I walk so slow too. I wonder who walks slower, me or you 🤣🤣 Thank you for this video, I want people to realize there’s young people with disabilities and need more consideration.
People are so nosy, it's like they think we owe them an explanation to validate ourselves or something. And then, usually, if you DO answer them, they suddenly have a slew of even MORE invasive questions (or else they decide that your condition doesn't qualify as "real" or "severe enough"). Some days I just want to leave the planet...
Kat K yes! I totally agree and on top of that they always have suggestions to help.. 😒 “have you tried..” ugh
Right? I'm seriously just like "No, I never thought of trying the third most commonly prescribed medicine for my condition before and neither have any of my doctors for the past 30 years! I'll get right on that!!!"
Or they're suggest something ridiculously far out there because they've heard of a couple anecdotal cases on the internet. Somewhat unrelated to my major health issue (most people are too uncomfortable with it to offer inane suggestions), I get a lot of migraines, and people have suggested everything from getting the inner cartilage of my ear pierced, to eating a cup of sunflower seeds a day (I actually tried that one since I love sunflower seeds, but it did things to my stomach not fit to discuss in polite conversation), to bathing my feet in a mixture of hot water, vinegar, and mustard powder... da fuq?!?! I mean "have you tried botox?" is a reasonable question. "Have you tried using smelly condiments on your feet is NOT. Next, they'll be suggesting coffee enemas. Oh, wait, I've had those suggested to me, too...
Kat K I have a friend who had to take off 5 months of work because of migraines, he just laid in bed starring at the ceiling because everything triggered them. I have them sometimes too if I’m not careful. I’m sorry to hear that they really suck. That’s some crazy suggestions. I have gotten a few weird ones too. One thing that gets under my skin is a few people said they knew someone from their church who can heal me. Like I have a chronic condition and some rando is not going to heal me.
Oh, I've had more than one person tell me that if I pray more, or "get saved" then all my health and mental problems will magically disappear. Which is not just ridiculous but insulting as it implies that my issues are somehow MY FAULT! And don't get me started on faith healers. A neighbor dragged me to one behind my mother's back when I was 10. He was so rough with me, grabbing my head and pulling me around by it while he screamed at imaginary demons to leave my body that I had a 3-day migraine as a result. Any time someone tells me to rely on faith or go to a "healer" I have to fight the urge to tie them to a chair, tape their eyelids open, and make them watch James Randi presentations for 24 hours straight...
I have MS and i use a walking stick when needed, but I use a walker most of the time. When ur really desperate and really cant do without, then u dont really care. U got to do what u got to-do. Remember everyone has their own issues.
i’m really curious to hear about you using the ‘please offer me a seat’ badges? I use mine a lot on trains but not often in London (again because of the fact that no one looks up on the tube), and whether you were offered a seat more with a walking stick or with the badge (or the same)!
also it’s interesting to hear you were more uncomfortable to use the badge, in completely the opposite - very comfortable wearing a badge but a bit more embarrassed using a crutch. Anyway thanks for making these kind of videos, it means a lot to people like me with long term invisible disabilities xxx
I use the please offer me a seat badge on the tube, and yeah people take a while to get up, so now I go straight to the accessibility seats and just ask the person there "could I sit down please" and 99% of the time they'll get up no problem looking embarrassed that the girl with the "disabled" badge had to ask them. So don't be afraid to just ask
I got a cane about… almost a year now. Wow. I started with an old hand me down which was WAY too short for me. A little while later, I got one cut to my size. I grew out of that one and now I have an adjustable metal one, same make as yours, but black with pink and blue flowers .
I haven’t seen anyone in the comments yet who is quite as young as me so, hi! I’m 15 years old. I’m turning 16 later this year. It’s so refreshing and wonderful to see younger people with canes or walking sticks.
I use a cane for pain reasons. I’m injured in both of my knees and also hyper mobile, so my lower half hurts a lot. I won’t have my cane forever, but for now, I need it. It took me a while to feel comfortable around people with disabilities and mobility aids because I thought I didn’t deserve to have a cane.
Luckily, I have a lot of people looking out for me. I get so many stares in public for being my age with a mobility aid, but I’ve learned to brush them off.
Thank you for your videos. You are beautiful. Sending you love from a young mobility aid user who’s finding her way.
Your comment is very encouraging. I'm (f) 39 and not that old for cane/walking stick but I do feel embarrass using it in public:( I had an ankle injury and still limping. This gives me a boost! Thank you🙏
Thnks Hannah for being in our lives.Love from India.
I know what you mean by needing people to go outside. tried a cane and was by myself and fell so now I am even more scared. thinking about using a walker but I feel like I am to young for that. but after listening to you I think it might be ok because it will give me freedom again. thank you for making me feel more comfortable about my issues.
I wish someone had suggested getting a stick to me when I was recovering from surgery. I struggled to walk and stand for long periods and I just avoided public transport because I was too embarrassed at the idea of asking people to give me a seat
I also felt really fragile after my surgery (brain surgery) and was afraid I'd get pushed over and my head would just crack open. it's so nice to hear someone else feeling the same way. well, not nice, but validating, that's a better word. I was so afraid of going outside!!! i didn't have a stick, or anyone to help me. yeah my experience wasn't great at all. idk, just wanted to say that you made me feel slightly better about the absolute worst time in my life, and I appreciate you being so open and honest. I found your videos a few days ago, and I love them. You are awesome. the one where you talk to a group of disabled people about sex and relationships made me cry so much. i had my surgery almost 15 years ago now, and my life fell apart. 3 years ago, I was diagnosed with an acquired brain injury, and I'm still trying to adapt to what that means. your videos make me feel seen and validated and I appreciate the %&/#) out of you. (also hey 1000th comment on this video i think, grats! :))
If I ever need a walking stick, I'll order one that looks like Kaz Brekker's from Six of Crows.
Thank you for sharing this! I totally relate to the fear of being seen as fake disabled - my fatigue fluctuates from day to day and even hour to hour. So I could see a friend and have energy to go on a walk with them or someone could drive past me and see me jogging one day - but then right now for the last week I've barely been able to leave the house and been sleeping and in bed 99% of the time.There's so much of bodies we can't see that's going on on the inside!
I know this isn’t the same but A few years ago my sister was in agony with sciatica and couldn’t walk very well, but we were at a public attraction so hired a wheelchair for the day. At one point we stopped for a bathroom break, me and my mum went to the ladies and my sister went round the corner to the disabled toilet. A while later we went over to see what was taking so long and it turned out that even though she was at the front of the queue and the only one in a wheelchair, every single person ignored her and pushed In Front. all of them appeared to be mums with their young kids using it for convenience rather than needing it. However, I cannot make assumptions based on what I could see, it’s possible some of them had invisible disabilities but they could’ve at least acknowledged my sister existed!
Thank you for being so honest with your experiences, it helps able bodied people like me who have never thought about how stressy it can be to be in such awkward situations and wishing someone would just click on. I will do better!
So my story is nowhere as annoying, but a couple years ago, I injured my hand. I literally cut my finger, but I needed surgery to fix it and I had to immobilise it for a couple of months to make sure it healed properly. And while taking public transport was fairly easy, I couldn't really stand on the bus or subway either, because I needed to hold on to a pole with one hand, which I realise sounds easy, but if you're doing things one handed all day, manipulating your body weight with that same hand is hard and can get painful. (This is how much justification you think of in this situation.) There are two instances that stick out very clearly.
The first is I get on this bus, it's not rush hour, but I live near a high school and they've just let out. So the bus is packed and there are just high school kids on the accessible seats. There's nine accessible seats on a bus. And I wait for someone to notice me, because I'm too ashamed to ask for a seat, and they're talking to each other and on their phones and no one sees me. Finally someone gets up and I snag their seat. And then an elderly lady gets on, and these other girls who are standing, have to ask one of the high school students to give her their seat.
Another time, I get on the subway late at night, and I sit down in an accessible seat. But the next stop, someone with crutches gets on, and no gets up to give her a seat. So I give her my seat with my hand in a cast.
We have a lot accessible seats in Toronto and everybody uses them. But when people don't get up for other people who clearly need them, I don't know if everyone is just expecting someone else to get up, or they're just not paying attention. So the moral is "PAY ATTENTION!" We should all be better than this.
Toronto is so bad for this. I’ll sit in a blue seat if there are others available but I always offer to get up. I also always offer to give up my red seat when needed, which is something I feel like most people won’t do. They assume because they’re in a red seat it’s not their responsibility.
It’s hard sometimes, though, because I have very low blood pressure and have actually passed out on the subway before because I was uncomfortable asking for someone to give me a seat. When I’m feeling super light headed and just trying to get home so I can eat something and lie down before I pass out, I feel so guilty for taking up a seat. I just look like your average person in their twenties and people don’t know I’m 20 seconds from losing consciousness 😞
I love this video for highlighting the issues. I have a chronic condition in my hip, involving nerve, muscle and bone damage. I’m in chronic pain all the time but 95% of the time that pain won’t be helped with crutches/walking sticks. When I get on a bus/train I find myself exaggerating my limp so when I’m asking someone if I can sit down I look ‘more disabled’
It’s so dumb, but over the years I’ve had so many people question my abilities, or even say ‘you can’t have hip issues, you’re too young’. I’m slowly trying to learn I don’t have to validate myself and my needs to others
You look so much like Hermione Granger/Emma Watson and I just started watching this, so I have not even heard what you are about to say... 🤣❤️
I so empathize with you on worrying about peoples perception of me with an invisible disability. Everything you’re saying I completely understand
I have been using a cane/walking stick for about a year now due to terrific back pain. I am 78 so not going to be looked at the same way a younger person might. It is cruel and difficult for me to imagine anyone giving crap to anyone using a cane/stick. Yours is beautiful. Tap them on the leg and demand a seat, be assertive or you will be ignored. Other people's judgement is not important.
I, too, was a young person who had an open abdominal surgery and needed to use a cane. I looked like shit as I was getting better, and the cane was useful not only helping me stay upright, but in helping other people recognize that I might need a seat, or a little bit of space. My favorite part of carrying a a cane were the older people who saw you, and tipped their hat in solidarity. Carrying a cane is no different than wearing glasses or using a hearing aid. We’re all just doing our best, why not get some help when we need it. Thanks for making these videos.
Im rewatching this video a year and a half after it came out, when it first came out Id just moved to london and was dealing with having chronic pain on the tube and not feeling comfortable in how young i was,now i use a cane, not because ive gotten worst but because ive come to accept how bad my disability is, i do still get a lot of looks from people when im sat in seats but overall time and settling in to who you are especially settling into who you are as a person with a disability/chronic condition was the biggest thing in working to get over that fear of being visibly disabled in public.
also! foldable canes! theyre absolutly wonderful, most fit into a backpack and means you can whip it out when you reach the point of needing it!
You met me for the first time when I walk awfully, I didn’t use my walking stick because I didn’t want my brothers friends to see me like that.
I noticed that, to try and protect myself, I was Very Rude and I didn’t need to be.
You are an Amazing person and I’m SO Sorry for what I did.
Please forgive me.
Rob.
P.S. Hannah had nothing wrong with her and she was just AMAZING!!!
I thought people would see me as insignificant because I’d just acquired a head injury.
You ARE an inspiration to me and Thankyou.