RSD is not only related to "mild" or imagined criticism. The first step in RSD is what I discovered in social anxiety healing : making distinction between constructive criticism and unfair criticism which is actually abuse. In the beginning we do not make this distinction and we go along with idea that we are too sensitive. There are toxic people out there who are predatory and who think differently than social people. They use criticism to control and manipulate others just for the sake of having power over others due to greed or hidden agenda. Without being aware of this - we will go along with their gaslighting and pathological lying and we will think we are mis-reading their words. While in reality they are being abusive. Constructive criticism example would be if we build submarine and HSE engineers are warning us that it will implode if we do not make changes in design and material used. When we listen to this helpful criticism - we will avoid becoming mass murderer. Healthy criticism always comes with aura of friendliness while toxic criticism is personal and Ad Hominem. So it will be easy to discern these two even though it may not appear easy in the beginning. The second stage - when we make difference between constructive and toxic criticism - is realization that we need protection against toxic people. Then we will come to the root of RSD: our repressed emotions. Usually we repress our anger - because we are convinced due to ACE and ACoA that anger means fury and screaming and drama and hysteria - so we push our anger down. Without our anger - it is like removing our skin and clothes - and we are open to be sensitive to any touch or contact - RSD. Having shield means owning our own anger. The natural reflex to toxic people - is to cut them off, minimize our presence with them, remove ourselves emotional investment to toxic people if we are unable to run away from them, and most importantly to express and process our own anger in healthy constructive manner. In other words - Detachment. When we cut off parasites our RSD will subside naturally. If we live in Shame based country, RSD will look like this: - Young American explained why she left Croatia: "In Croatia people constantly express intrusive opinion about matters which are none of their business. The most irritating things were rude people." (poslovni hr) Young American explained why she escaped from Croatia: "Often I heard Croats intruding why am I eating something, or commenting about what I wore. There is no such thing in America, we allow people to be what they want to be."
i like how "can look like" might be a way of saying "might show up as"
Yup!
RSD is not only related to "mild" or imagined criticism.
The first step in RSD is what I discovered in social anxiety healing : making distinction between constructive criticism and unfair criticism which is actually abuse. In the beginning we do not make this distinction and we go along with idea that we are too sensitive.
There are toxic people out there who are predatory and who think differently than social people. They use criticism to control and manipulate others just for the sake of having power over others due to greed or hidden agenda.
Without being aware of this - we will go along with their gaslighting and pathological lying and we will think we are mis-reading their words. While in reality they are being abusive.
Constructive criticism example would be if we build submarine and HSE engineers are warning us that it will implode if we do not make changes in design and material used. When we listen to this helpful criticism - we will avoid becoming mass murderer.
Healthy criticism always comes with aura of friendliness while toxic criticism is personal and Ad Hominem. So it will be easy to discern these two even though it may not appear easy in the beginning.
The second stage - when we make difference between constructive and toxic criticism - is realization that we need protection against toxic people.
Then we will come to the root of RSD: our repressed emotions. Usually we repress our anger - because we are convinced due to ACE and ACoA that anger means fury and screaming and drama and hysteria - so we push our anger down.
Without our anger - it is like removing our skin and clothes - and we are open to be sensitive to any touch or contact - RSD.
Having shield means owning our own anger.
The natural reflex to toxic people - is to cut them off, minimize our presence with them, remove ourselves emotional investment to toxic people if we are unable to run away from them, and most importantly to express and process our own anger in healthy constructive manner. In other words - Detachment.
When we cut off parasites our RSD will subside naturally.
If we live in Shame based country, RSD will look like this:
-
Young American explained why she left Croatia:
"In Croatia people constantly express intrusive opinion about matters which are none of their business. The most irritating things were rude people."
(poslovni hr)
Young American explained why she escaped from Croatia:
"Often I heard Croats intruding why am I eating something, or commenting about what I wore. There is no such thing in America, we allow people to be what they want to be."