Nothing Putin Says About Ukraine Is True | U.S. Women's Soccer Players Win Fight For Equal Pay
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- Опубликовано: 16 июн 2024
- Ukrainians have been quick to push back on the Russian leader's false claims of cultural ownership of their country, and the 4-time World Cup champion U.S. women's soccer team won their six year fight to be paid the same as players on the men's squad. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue
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Развлечения
'Piece-keeping, piece-taking, piece-grabbing.' Hilarious.
Such a silly pun.
@@usamaali254 and such a hypocritical one. Only the US is allowed to invade countries and call it peace keeping?
Lena Wagenfuer, It's not hypocritical on Cobert's part. I get your point, but not all Americans agree with everything our country does. A great many of us were against what we did in Iraq. I'm the case of Ukraine, though, it's a matter of protecting a democracy from a totalitarian regime
@@lenawagenfuehr53 Say what you want about America's involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan. What Russia is attempting against Ukraine is on a whole different level. And if you don't understand that you are hopeless.
Geopolitics is partially to blame for the status quo. Both Russia and the US have their fingers in a lot of pies
Didn't realize that the U.S Embassy in Kyiv's Twitter game is so sassy it rivals Wendy's because hot DAMN that was some spicy BURN!
actually it proves Putin's claim, Kiev is the birth place of Russia and Russians, the capital then moved Petersburg then to Moscow
Pretty sure I'm not the only one who heard "Putin's romantic partner" and immediately assumed it was a "cryptic" way of saying The Orange Turd
I thought putins romantic partner was hillary
Well, during Trump's presidency Putin stayed the fuck quiet.
@@met0xy except to thank Trump for all the ass kissing
As an American, I love Ukraine.
That is all. 😘
I thought "Putin's romantic partner" was Donald Trump...
That's what Trump thinks; then Putin says "yeah yeah, put your clothes back on and go out the back door, I don't want my friends to see you"
But he has an Affair with Kim Jong-un later.👨❤️💋👨😂
And I thought the only person getting Tucked by Putin was Carlson.
I'm not religious but I pray for Ukraine's
sovereignty and peace I hope they can
weather this darkness. 🇺🇦💙
I second that. 🙏💞🌏💞☮
I am a religious Muslim and have been doing the same. InshAllah Putin will be in jail soon.
Amen🙏🏼🇺🇦
Well said, thank you.
I second that 🙏💞🌍💞☮
It was uncanny how familiar it felt to watch Putin make historically inaccurate claims about a country. Then, I realized we had Trump. Best friends to the end.
Hello
The difference between Rump and Putrid is that the former doesn't know jack about history and the latter KNOWS he's BS-ing but will rewrite history for the sake of his megalomanic tendencies. It was the same with Vlad the Impaler when he rewrote almost all Slavic folktales featuring himself as a hero, which made researching Slavic mythology a right pain for me when developing essays 🙄
And people really want him back in 2024. God help us all.
Inbox me 👆👆
@@Echo81Rumple83 inbox me 👆👆
The American people need to stand with the Ukrainian people. Much tougher sanctions need to be put in place against Putin and cronies.
🇺🇦
American people do stand with Ukraine. But like every country on the planet…the people are not the governments. I agree, more needs to be done
Make no mistake, politicians dont care about people. If you want to know how they play the game watch this lecture on the geopolitical strategy behind this war: ruclips.net/video/JrMiSQAGOS4/видео.html
"No Russian money can come to the US."
It's not just Tucker that is cut off, but Donnie too!
“We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia.”
-- Eric Trump
Does this mean Donnie, by law, can’t pay back a Russian loan?
Putin will just use an intermediary like Saudi Arabia to get his money to Trump & the Republican party.
Tucker has Rupert Murdoch: he's a handpuppet for Amerikkka's great immigrant White supremist.
@@tr7b410 yeah right,like they're not gonna be lookin out for that,,nice try trumps guy.haha
This part about Ukraine is so... painful. I am a Ukrainian and we try to keep our heads up, be strong and together, we also try to have some sense of humour in this situation, but still it is so painful, that I cried watching this Stephen's monologue. Some crazy old bald guy is telling us that our country doesn't exist? He is crazy.
We are with you. Keep your heads up. If Afghanistan people can beat Russia back, so can Ukraine. Specially you have all the Western countries support. If Ukraine setup gofundme page for their defense fund, believe we will all donate.
I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. Please understand we know that what’s happening is not really funny, laughter is a coping mechanism. You have tons of support here.
@@freedomlife3623 That cost Afghanistan hundreds of thousands of dead and led to a civil war once the Russians were gone. Let's pray it does not come to that in Ukraine.
US, most of Europe, most of Asia except China, most countries around the world - understand the injustice that Ukraine is facing.
@@freedomlife3623 thank you!
🤣🤣🤣👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼dying from the start, with the Putin "piece-keeping"🤣😂😂😂👏🏼💓✌🏼
"There goes Tucker Carlson's sponsors." 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏👏👏
He went there with the Tucker Carlson comment. 100% facts 🤣
We should send Fu#ker Trucker over there to report the situation...in English, of course, which he barely masters as it's tongue 👅twisting getting over all the lies 🤔. Then we send him to Siberia to count trees. 🌳🌲🌴
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@cbailey2376 We should send diversity experts, and anti american leftists, before anyone else.
Ohhhh where did you get those 100% facts? CNN, facebook, or google? Enlighten me. I would really like to know so I can teach others the "truth"
@Christina observation of reality. Unlike some, I am not a cult member following a wicked evil self serving grifter, and I pity you that you are too ignorant to see it for yourself.
"The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot." - Carl Sagan, 'Pale Blue Dot'
And yet, that dot has been home to every sentient being we know of in the universe. That's why it is so precious to us.
Great monologue. Thank you for sticking for Ukraine. Also your writers are brilliant! Jimmy Fallon's monologue about Ukraine was absolute garbage.
He was not just talking regular Spanish, he was talking Spanish as if he was born and raised in Spain lol and yes, there is a big difference and it makes it even more impressive.
His German sounded native too.
If you listened to him speaking each one separately, you would think he was a native. Seriously impressive
His German was flawless. And I think I recognized Letzebuergish, spoken in Luxembourg. I'm no expert in that, but I've been there a few times and it sounded quite authentic.
The Tucker Carlson joke was on point! LMAO
I knew the punchline was going to be good when I saw the smirk on his face just before he said it.
Why doesn't Colbert ever talk about Gutfeld? Gutfeld spanks him every night in the ratings are clowns what a fool Colbert is.
@@saltysenior6454 yeah but Gutfelds really not very funny
@@saltysenior6454 Who is Gurfeld?
Joke?
I am Ukrainian and I've been watching Stephen pretty much since he got to do The Late Show, and I never knew he used to live in the Ukrainian village! Thank you, Stephen, for the time you took to talk about the situation and the heart you talked about Ukrainians with!
I don't think he meant that he lived in Ukraine. I think he said he lived in a section of Chicago called little Ukraine because a lot of Ukrainian immigrants lives there. I think the point was that it wasn't called " little Russia "
🙏🙏 praying for your people and your country 🙏🙏
@@cathywethington5913 I know, that's why I put "the" village, not "a" village. He referred to the Ukrainian village, which is a neighbourhood in Chicago. I knew Stephen used to live in Chicago, but I had no idea it was in Ukrainian village.
do you think (in hindsight), it's was a fatal political error to side with Russia's enemies (Usa/Nato) and try to get into Nato by any means necessary? Also given how high ranking Russian politicians always said that Ukraine getting into Nato can not be tolerated due to National Security concerns.
Before all this the situation seemed stable, there was no real danger for annexation of either the Donbas region or Crimea, as far i know, maybe you know more.
Now Ukraine lost Crimea which is a Geopolitical and Economical important Peninsula and Donbas which is also very important for Ukrain's economy because of natural resources (coal etc.).
Or is it worth it to get into Nato and possibly EU? Although, perhaps Ukraine could have gotten into EU without all this, as Usa/Nato was always the issue for the russian.
@@LegendNinja41 WHAT PART OF UKRAINE ISN'T IN NATO AND PROBABLY WILL NEVER BE DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?
I swear you guys have the same dude sitting in the front row in every single show that you host, or your camera guy loses his shit at every joke you tell. What good energy to have.
Lol 😂 he is peacekeeping 🤣 keeping those pieces of land.
Philip Crowther probably never expected to get this much attention, but reporting the news in six languages is quite a feat... especially when Faux News can't even do it in English!
German was btw accentfree
Burn! 🔥
@@Tantejay French was also fantastic!
@@laras678 I thought so, but my french is limited to "petit baaa" for lamb ^^
gold!
I've seen a few comments here asking if Ukrainians see this as funny. We don't, but I'm glad that this situation became widespread in the world.
I'm Ukrainian, I think it was pretty damn funny. He's mocking Putin, so I' totally good with that :)
Our eyes ears and most importantly hearts are with you Ukraine! Stay strong!
@@mdstate829 I think Crimea presents a legitimate question. I also think Russian tanks in Kyiv cannot possibly add any legitimacy to any potential settlement of the Crimea question.
Humor is a coping mechanism in dire times. Think of all the jokes that begin with "In Soviet Russia..." or old Yiddish jokes or Chaplin's film "The Dictator". Snarky jokes are subtle passive-aggressive acts of resistance against oppression and injustices.
Please stay strong, and hang in there, Ukrainians! 💙💛💪
Stephen, you are a lighthouse of truth! I sooo appreciate you, sir. Thank you for pointing out the emperor has no clothes!
Thanks Mr. Colbert for your good show !
To the writers behind this monologue... may your bed always be warm, your crops be watered and your skin cleared. May you receive every blessing from the gods.,✌🏼
👍👏🏽👍👏🏽👍👏🏽
Hey, send that wish MY way😊!!
P.S--But I agree with your wish. We are all living through interesting times.
Praise be.
Ukraine fought hard and long enough to be an independent state. So it’s kinda obvious it’s a separate nation.
As a Pole, I really hope we (I mean EU) won’t pull the same shit we saw 80 years ago with Nazi Germany taking Czech’s land, then Austria and finally attacking Poland and the rest of the Europe.
I really hope that the people in charge are seeing the resemblance.
Austria voted twice to join Germany...they like to conveniently forget that.
@@lenawagenfuehr53 like all Soviet states joined willingful soviet union.
2 revolutions to overthrow first a Lukashenko light then a Russian puppet type, with much blood and tears.
No going back, Vlad.
Clear parallels.
Technically Sudetenland already happened with Crimea. Its now 1939 lite, and Putin is cosplaying Stalin. He's a man of his time - the last century.
If the tables were turned Poland would gladly walk in Ukraine as it happened several times before. In fact the tension between the western and eastern part of Ukraine has its source there.
I speak a few of the languages that Philip Crowther used and as far as I can tell his accent is spot on.
"I am Piece Keeping!!!" 🤣🤣🤣
“There goes Tucker Carlson’s sponsors” - classic.
Who sponsors the war mongers democrats?
Tucker Carlson is my age. He had to hide under his desk at school, too.
@@mariomm9080 That sentence has a Russian accent.
Mario MM, so I suppose you think we should sit on our hands while Russia invades a democratic country?
@@mariomm9080 Nyet, Vodka, Comrade.
Ghost of Ronald Reagan: What do you mean the Republicans are siding with the Rooskies!?
😂😂😂
Ike and Nixon and a few Bush family members too.
I can read it in his voice
Reagan would be ashamed of the Trumpies. And Trump's support for Putin is downright treasonous. He's little better than the Nazi-lovers of the America First Committee in the 1940s.
Reagan: "Mr Gorbachev, tear down this wall."
tRump: "I'm gonna build a wall"
old McCarthy: "Russians bad"
new McCarthy: "Russians good."
i love you stephen, and this is why it feels like pain to tell you about the reality of the victims of the current conflict. please, do whatever you can to make this not happen....please
The Tucker bit was amazingly on point!
"There goes Tucker Carlson's sponsors."
Oh! On point Stephen. And the horse joke. Whoa nelly!
Putin's bear might become jealous, just sayin'
@@mdstate829 Nah he's just a shill he says whatever gets him that $$$$. Must be nice getting paid to lie to poor people all day about everything.
@@mdstate829 So why don't he call his pals and tell them to stop with this nonsense?
@@mdstate829 Those who are paying him.
Maybe on point, but definitely not all the way through the video. Taking a direct threat by a Russian minister of higher gas prices for Germany (a real problem here!) and doing nothing with it save saying “Uuuh me American me too stupid to understand metric system,” and including clips of a real polyglot of a reporter only to lessen his abilities and drop him immediately afterwards, was just cringeworthy. Look, I normally enjoy Colbert, but those two “jokes” were abysmal.
I grew up in a small town in a small country in East Africa and somehow managed to learn and speak six languages fluently. Italian , English, Spanish, French Swahili and Arabic. I’m currently in the process of learning Mandarin and hope to work for the United Nation one day. It’s easy to start learning languages when you are little. I thanked my parents for teaching me four languages fluently by the time I was 12 years old. Teach your kids different languages and other cultures cause they definitely would appreciate when they get older and see the world differently and how beautiful people are when you speak to them their language. English was the hardest one to learn and somehow people are surprised when I explain to them.
That’s so awesome. I speak English and Chinese ( Mandarin& Cantonese), would like to learn Spanish & French. What’s the best way to learn those Language?
@@freedomlife3623 Good news! They are very similar and simple. Start with something like Duo Lingo and watch their movies, listen to their podcasts. After English and Mandarin, it ought to be a breeze.
@@freedomlife3623. If you can afford to go and stay six months or to a year to a Spanish and French speaking countries, it would be easy and quick way to learn. I have a friend who’s now in Mexico staying with strangers and his spanish improved dramatically in four months. He’s 38 years old and wanted to speak Spanish because he lives in San Diego where there’s a lot of Mexicans and he wanted to impress friends and coworkers. Mexico is extremely cheap and you will never ever find more friendlier and kind welcoming people anywhere else to study.
I'm envious. I've traveled to about 25 different countries on five continents, often alone. My mother tongue is English, and I'm barely fluent in it. In 2008 I spent a few weeks in France, and the only phrase I mastered is "I do not speak French."
Wow so clever, well done!
You killed me on the Tucker joke! Thanks.
This was a golden one, love you Stephen!😉👌🙏
DANG Tucker is gonna need a whole BOTTLE of Aloe for that BURN
You put prep-o-ration H on A-holes that burn 😉
My stepmother is Ukrainian. When I asked her if she spoke Russian, her smile disappeared and she said, “No; I speak Ukrainian.”
Her family was one of the many people evacuated from Pripyat to Kiev, in 1986 when she was 6 years old. Her father was a worker, who stayed behind to help build the first sarcophagus over the destroyed reactor at Chernobyl. He has worked there until the final reactor was shut down and decommissioned around 2002-2003.
She told me of the many deaths of her neighbors caused by the control of information by the Soviet Union.
She broke down several times when we watched HBO’s Chernobyl. The concrete burial scene brought back a lot of emotions. We couldn’t help but pause the show so she could talk it out. Her mother couldn’t watch the hospital scene. We had just watched it, but they had LIVED it.
They had markets that used Geiger counters to test the radioactivity of all incoming food products. She has many health issues because of the disaster. She had to have a hysterectomy when she was 19. She’s has irregular bone density problems all over. She’s had several different cancers, so she’s very picky on her health.
She absolutely hates Russia, especially Putin.
What hardship for your family, things many of us have never gone through. The one blessing of instant news is that everyone knows what’s happening, rather than waiting hours or days. I don’t know if it will make any difference, but at least all this can’t be hidden.
@@mdstate829 it's called being human. Or would you be happy to go it alone if your country got invaded by the Russians and Chinese simultaneously, which is a reasonable comparison size-wise?
@@mdstate829 I still find it hard to understand how in today's age people still consider borders to be a literal separation between humans. Dudes go around playing csgo with people like friends but when it comes to considering them their brothers it's all out the window. For fucks sake
@@mdstate829 remember the impact of Hitler, that thing called WW2? We live in a global village, one crazy dictator’s action impact us all, it destabilize the world. So stop just looking what’s infront of you and try to read few history books.
@@RedButtonTV1 Ukraine is a democratic country just like Canada or USA. You must mixed up Ukraine with Russia.
That was a powerful ending 🤣😂
That was cold 😳❄️
Ouch!
Great news. Thank You Sir!
I hope this raises the morale of Ukraine people.
"There goes Tucker Carlson's sponsors" = Priceless
Lol yeah and Hunter has to be glued to the TV as well
Putin's romantic partner so ... the horse?
Americans can recognize a traitor in their midst.
Dylan peres, You are so ill- informed
Margo, well, some of us can, but apparently about a third of us call them " patriots ".
“We don’t rely on American banks. We have all the funding we need out of Russia.”
-- Eric Trump
@Aqua Fyre You definitely belong on Trumps new app Truth! Then join his social marriage app called Faithful! 👍😂🤣
@Aqua Fyre remember when Rudy was being fed disinformation about Biden and Ukraine by known Russian agents? Cause “Last year, Giuliani said in an interview that there’s “nothing wrong with taking information from Russians.””
@Aqua Fyre
1 man
@Aqua Fyre False. And not related to the comment.
@@thehound9086 Good one!
The women's soccer team have achieved more than the men's soccer team. .....
The men's soccer team is dreaming to be world champions one day. ...the women's team has done it several times already
Pfffft, Colombia have a higher chance to win the WC over the US
In the time of uncertainty & this bully killing invasion Steve teaches & makes us laugh ...because without laughter our hearts would break * Thank you Steven & GodSpeed to the people of Ukrain 🙏
“No Russian money can come into the US. There goes Tucker Carlson’s sponsor’s”. Can you feel the burn 🔥. That was classic. He and Eric must be crying in their cereal bowl.
💯😂😂😂
Why doesn't Colbert ever talk about Gutfeld? Gutfeld spanks him every night in the ratings and clowns what an idiot Colbert is.
@@saltysenior6454 ah, you made a bad joke, just like unfunny and unwatched gutfeld
@@badnoodlez Gutfeld is the #1 late night show. Colbert eats his dust.
They can use crypto
The only way to process all this craziness is with a healthy dose of Colbert humour
He is objectively funny. Yet this makes spreading lies more affective.
@@mdstate829; And you must chew on crayons, in your shitty diaper. Many of Stephen's quips leading to the main joke are hilarious.
A healthy shot of vodka
@@mdstate829; It was just a reference to your hero the baby bunker boi, no need to feel victimized, I'm just getting a bit anxious for him to be totally EXPOSED and tossed in to the trash!
People will die whats funny about it?
'Spiritual Space'............Definitely the best one!
There was an ad right when Stephen says "Your iPhone is going to sound like this...." Perfect comedic timing.
Thank you Stephen, for giving the history of the Ukraine and Russian a humorous spin while education us.
The country itself, Ukraine, does not support the use of "The" Ukraine. It officially stands by only Ukraine and does not support a long form like other countries such as the USA.
Education us
@@BigBeanBurrito23 Stephen wasn’t giving a grammar lesson today
Yeahhh!!!... Some more History... USA did EXACTLY the same, with Texas!!... You all know that, right??... I'm not Russian; but I like History... like you do!!!
AND. To be more accurate, Russia argues HISTORY, as an element to proclaim that Territory as theirs... Which, let's be fair... MAKES SENSE!!! (Even, if arguably) ... USA didn't have that Argument, regarding Texas, AT ALL.
Thank you, Stephen, this kind of high-quality Putin grilling is what I wish we had on Russian television to call him for what he is! Unfortunately, there are no independent TV channels left here anymore.
@@mdstate829 Americans grill their presidents on TV all the time. In part that's why they never stick for 25 years at a time.
Hillary was right, Trump is a puppet of Putin. The dossier said Putin ordered Trump to weaken NATO and Trump did it well.
How about TV Rain? This channel is independent and liberal. It’s not as powerful as federal tv channels, but its popularity growing fast especially among young generation
@@diana628 A good one, but not readily available for the oldsters and the non-web-savvy.
Hi, what's your opinion on the whole situation? I'm interested to see a Russian's point of view (from an Italian).
"Putin's most important weapon is his Sharpie" -> Remember when Trump drew on a weather map with a Sharpie? Good times, good times
Little Putin is a real Lilliputian - in every sense of this term.
He just did EXACTLY what I wanted to do as a kid - work for an international news organization and speak as many languages as possible so I could speak to the citizens in their own language. A bachelors degree in communication and classes in 7 languages later…and I’m a nurse who works in revenue cycle who is only fluent in coding 😂 but this guy made my heart sing!! Loved that sooo much 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩💕🤍🎤
Yeah, I feel the same way. When I was in college, I took German, Spanish, French, and Italian,... but not enough of any of them to actually learn anything. Heh, heh. And I was majoring in Journalism, too. Well, I never worked in that field, and I can't even ask for directions to the library in any of those languages now, 50 years later. But I'm still jealous. :)
Grew up with 3 languages, added two more and understand 2-3 more and read old German, old French and all dialects in between. Fun.
His French accent was really good. Polyglots are awesome!
He was not just talking regular Spanish, he was talking Spanish as if he was born and raised in Spain lol and yes, there is a big difference and it makes it even more impressive.
AP reporter Philip Crowther (not sure if I spelled it correctly) has our backs! Chapeaux!!!
It's hard to say who lies more, Putin or Trump........Tough call, since they are working together.
And their lies overlap 🙄
Wonder what was in the papers that he took to FL?? The timing seems a bit odd...I'm sure there were doc referring to the Ukraine. Remember CHEETOE TRAITORs call there. So. Ya. I'd believe Putin and TRAITOR r entwined 😡😠😠🤕
Still believing the Russia collusion lies that have been proven to be lies huh? Talk about mindless. He’s living rent free in your head.
And Biden tells the whole truth all the time? 🙄
@@mikerada2773 Nice try. Trump's comments are treasonous.
Good on him calling out Tucker. What a disgrace!
That multilingual reporter was the bomb! That's awesome.
I'm german and I laughed so hard as Stephen made the joke about us and Sauerkraut... until my grandpa came in and told me what we will have for dinner today. But hey... let the farting beginn.
Hello
Everyday is Oktoberfest! In glorious Deutschland! 🇩🇪 🍺
@@germanshepherd6638 the two weeks of Oktoberfest are only in Munich, Munich is in Bavaria. Bavarians are not seen as Germans by the rest of Germany. And Oktoberfest has been canceled twice because of the pandemic. Just saying.
@@pegapage9603 While generally applauding you for correcting @cuddleball's un-informed, stupid statement about Oktoberfest, I I have to add that there IS another state in Germany that does have a similar Volksfest (but lasting 3 weeks, from mid Sep to beginning of Oct). It's called Stuttgarter 'WASEN' (local dialect for the Münchner Wies'n = meadow) in Stuttgart-Cannstadt..... which in the state of Baden Württemberg.... slightly NW of Bayern/München. Just saying. And while Oktoberfest started in 1810, the Wasen is around since 1818.
8:28 Well, the German was definitely accent-free. I’m in awe!
Nicely done, Philip!
He was born in Luxembourg from a British father and German mother. So he only speaks two foreign languages, Spanish and Portuguese.
@@scratchy996 interesting ! Lucky growing up that way with different languages. To be perfect in each of them means study and more study and practice and more practice.
@@ana-OM I grew up in a mostly Ukrainian village in Romania, with a Romanian father and German mother, watching American movies and cartoons and British documentaries with subtitles on Serbian TV.
By the time I was 10, I spoke five languages and two dialects, then I learned French and some Latin in school, and Italian because we got cable TV.
I only needed to watch a TV show to learn Spanish, because it's so easy when you already speak Romania, Italian and French.
In college I had a Norwegian girlfriend and I found out Norwegian is really easy to learn when you already speak German and English.
So I can relate to the reporter :)
Yes, you need to practice languages, or you forget them , I can still read and write Cyrillic, but I'm a bit slow at it , same with Serbian and Ukrainian, because I used them rarely. But I have no problems in communicating when I visit a Slavic country.
I was lucky because I could always ask my father for help when I didn't understand something, he speaks 11 languages.
@@scratchy996 beautiful and enjoy your languages.
That journalist has to know all those languages in perfection. It is his profession. He is delivering news to a hell lot of people.
Fantastic !
🤣Thank Q, Mr. Colbert, for finding the comedy in the calamity. For laughter does good like a medicine.😊 #PrayersUpForUkraine 🙏💕🎶💯
Colbert fight for the people we need a funny man
Looks like he's taking one his "biggest fans" playbook, Sharpie and all 😂😂😂
Show off reporter 🤨
"You just got St. PetersBUUURRRNED!"
That's some tasty comedy, writers. Keep 'em coming.
Great line but the Eastern Roman Empire had dealing with some guys calling themselves Rus, not Ukrainians
So what's your point, joe k? Ukraine is a sovereign democracy now. The Roman empire doesn't exist. Neither does the Soviet union. This invasion is happening today
@@cathywethington5913 Then the US embassy should talk about today and stop displaying how lousy the american educational system is.
@@joek600 Albeit I agree that the tweet is stupid, you don't have to go that far. Stephen is doing exactly that with the pseudo jokes about metric system. But stupid jokes aside, hope Putin wakes up and understands that Russia gains much more by being at peace than going on another stupid war for land. Cheers
@@joek600 They were also not Russians, and the state was called Kievan Rus, I like how you took the Kiev out of it :)
my first thought here was “that is the best sharpie callback joke i’ve ever seen”. my second thought was “holy shit, i have a comedic rating system in my brain specifically for jokes related to the donnie T sharpie incident”
Best explanation of PIECE-keeping ever! 🤣
And then there's trump, who thinks Pootin's invasion strategy is a "work of genius".
I bet he also thinks trying to overturn an election and destroy USA's democracy, was/is a work of genius.
He did call J6 "beautiful" 🙄
a genius can be evil as well as good ,
@@honeypot-pd2oc
I'd argue that a true genius will recognize that what's ultimately best for everyone, including their own self, is cooperation, mutual respect, joint effort and concord. To the best of one's ability.
Or maybe that is what we call wisdom, rather than genius.
Work of a stable genius.
Putin elected Trump as US president so Trump owes him.
Imagine surviving a world war only to experience a global pandemic.
Imagine doing it in reverse order a hundred years later.
Not exactly the lesson to be learned.
History didn't repeat it taeper
This isn't a world war. It's a localized conflict between two neighboring nations.
@@davidsuro986 Just give it some time.
@@davidsuro986 that was stupid even when you said it lol!
So many deep burns in this monologue
That "Beat Putin, get tootin'" poster design is really good!
As a German I got anxious when the gas-related joke came up 🙈
And then it's about farts and I'm like: Heck yeah, that's us - Sauerkraut and flatulence!
millions will suffer so that americans get to plug their overpriced gas instead.
Following Putin's logic of Ukrainians being Russian, there are no Russians, only Finno Ugrians.
Kievan Rus was not "Russia," and don't forget what came before the Kievan Rus. It was Slavic, Baltic, and Finnic tribes influenced by vikings (Swedes and Nords).
Further along in history, armies such as the Zaporozhian Cossacks and other Sichs opposed the Tsardom of Russia and established independence.
People in Sweden are literally joking that if we go by his logic our country would suddenly be a lot larger again 😂
Me as a Pole: sweating nervously
I mean. St. Petersburg was founded by Swedes, so 🤷🏼♀️
@Sunflowers • Amazing to find in the comments what the foreign policy and political pundits don't emphasize enough. You may be interested that you're not the only one with this view.
You may be interested in the speech by Martin Kimani, Representative from Kenya at the United Nations Security Council on February 21, 2022. I've inset the close-caption generated transcript below but haven't corrected it. The link is at the end. In case it takes you to the beginning of the session, Martin Kimani starts at about 41 minutes in.
THANK YOU MR. PRESIDENT. I THINK THE SECRETARY GENERAL OR -- GENERAL FOR HER BRIEFING. WE MEET TONIGHT ON THE BRINK OF A MAJOR CONFLICT IN UKRAINE. THE DIPLOMACY WE'VE URGED ON THE FEBRUARY 17 IS FAILING. THE TERRITORIAL INTEGRITY AND SOVEREIGNTY OF UKRAINE STANDS BREACHED. THE CHARTER OF THE UNITED NATIONS CONTINUES TO WILT UNDER THE RELENT -- RELENTLESS ASSAULT. IN ONE MOMENT IT IS INVOKED IN REVERENCE BY THE VERY SAME COUNTRIES WHO THEN TURNED THEIR BACKS ON IT IN PURSUIT OF OBJECTIVES
DIAMETRICALLY OPPOSED TO PEACE AND SECURITY. IN THE LAST TWO MEETINGS, AND THE BUILDUP OF FORCES IN UKRAINE, THEY URGED DIPLOMACY BE GIVEN A CHANCE. OUR CRY WAS NOT HEATED AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, THE CHARTERS DEMAND TO SETTLE THE DISPUTE BY PEACEFUL MEANS IN SUCH A MANNER ARE NOT IN DANGER HAS BEEN PROFOUNDLY UNDERMINED. TODAY, THE THREAT OR USE OF FORCE HAS BEEN AFFECTED. KENYA IS GRAVELY CONCERNED BY THE ANNOUNCEMENT MADE BY THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION TO RECOGNIZE THE REGIONS OF UKRAINE AS INDEPENDENT STATES. AND ARE CONSIDERED VIEW, THIS ACTION AND ANNOUNCEMENT REACHES THE TERRITORIAL INTEGRITY OF UKRAINE. WE DO NOT DENY THAT THERE MAY BE SERIOUS SECURITY CONCERNS IN THESE REGIONS. WE CANNOT JUST DIVIDE TODAY'S RECOGNITION OF THESE REGIONS AS INDEPENDENT STATES. NOT WHEN THEY ARE MULTIPLE MEDIC TRACKS AVAILABLE THAT OFFER PEACEFUL SOLUTIONS. MR. PRESIDENT, THIS SITUATION GOES OUR HISTORY. KENYA AND ALMOST EVERY TAX -- AFRICAN COUNTRY WAS BIRTHED BY THE ENDING OF AN EMPIRE. OUR BORDERS WOULD NOT OF OUR OWN DRAWING. THEY WERE DRAWN IN LONDON AND PARIS AND LEZZ BOND. -- LESBON. WE SHARE DEEP HISTORICAL, CULTURAL, AND LINGUISTIC BONDS. OUR INDEPENDENCE HAD WE CHOSEN TO PURSUE STATES ON THE BASIS OF ETHNIC, RACIAL, RELIGIOUS, WE WOULD STILL BE WAGING BLOODY WARS THESE MANY DECADES LATER. INSTEAD, WE AGREED THAT WE WOULD SETTLE FOR THE BORDERS THAT WE INHERITED. BUT WE WOULD STILL PURSUE CONTINENTAL, POLITICAL, AND ECONOMICAL -- RATHER THAN LOOKING BACKWARDS IN HISTORY WITH A DANGEROUS NOSTALGIA, WE CHOSE TO LOOK FORWARD TO A GREATNESS NONE OF OUR MANY NATIONS OF PEOPLE HAD EVER KNOWN. WE CHOSE TO FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE ORGANIZATION OF AFRICAN UNITY AND THE UNITED NATIONS CHARTER. NOT BECAUSE OUR BORDERS SATISFIED US, BUT BECAUSE WE WANTED SOMETHING GREATER FORGED IN PEACE. WE BELIEVED THAT ALL STATES FORMED FROM EMPIRES THAT HAVE COLLAPSED OR RETREATED HAVE MANY PEOPLES IN THEM YEARNING FOR INTEGRATION WITH PEOPLES AND NEIGHBORING STATES. THIS IS NORMAL AND UNDERSTANDABLE. AFTER ALL, WHO DOES NOT WANT TO BE JOINED TO THEIR BRETHREN AND TO MAKE COMMON PURPOSE WITH THEM? HOWEVER, KENYA REJECTS SUCH A YEARNING FROM BEING PURSUED BY FORCE. WE MUST COMPLETE OUR RECOVERY FROM THE EMBERS OF DEAD EMPIRES IN A WAY THAT DOES NOT PLUNGE US BACK INTO NEW FORMS OF DOMINATION AND OPPRESSION. WE REJECTED EXPANSIONISM ON ANY BASIS, INCLUDING RACIAL, ETHNIC, OR CULTURAL. WE REJECTED AGAIN TODAY. KENYA REGISTERS STRONG CONCERN AND OPPOSITION TO THE RECOGNITION TO THE INDEPENDENT STATES. WE FURTHER STRONGLY CONDEMNED THE TREND IN THE LAST FEW DECADES A POWERFUL STATES, INCLUDING MEMBERS OF THE SECURITY COUNCIL, REACHING INTERNATIONAL LAW WITH LITTLE REGARD. MOST NATIONALISM LIES ON ITS DEATHBED TONIGHT. IT HAS BEEN ASSAULTED TODAY AS IT HAS BEEN BY OTHER STATES IN THE RECENT PAST. WE CALL ALL MEMBERS TO RALLY BEHIND THE SECRETARY-GENERAL AND ASKING HIM TO RALLY UP TO THE STANDARD THAT DEFENDS. WE ALSO CALL ON HIM TO BRING HIS GOOD OFFICERS TO BEAR TO HELP THE CONCERNED PARTIES TO HELP RESOLVE THIS PART -- BY PEACEFUL MEANS. LET ME CONCLUDE WITH THE PRESIDENT BY CONFIRMING KENYA'S RESPECT FOR THE TERRITORIAL INTEGRITY OF UKRAINE WITHIN ITS INTERNATIONALLY RECOGNIZED BORDERS. THANK YOU.
Text
00:47:47
I THINK THE REPRESENTATIVE OF KENYA FOR HIS STATEMENT. I GIVE THE FLOOR TO BE PERMANENT REPRESENTATIVE OF GHANA.
*This text was compiled from uncorrected Closed Captioning.
www.c-span.org/video/?518099-1/un-security-council-meeting-ukraine
Love when countries try to make this argument. Makes zero sense if it’s thought about for 10 seconds.
US soccer team that lost to a random under 15 boys team from Dallas, where nobody even plays soccer lol.
I'm Polish, my best (childhood) friend has a Russian mother and Ukrainian father, and she spend most of her life in Poland and has Polish citizenship. But it so difficult for her and many others have the same problem. Family on both sides. So much pain. And hate
That guy reporting in six languages is really, really impressive. I can speak a little French, Spanish and German (badly) and nowadays I am constantly mixing them up. I don't get much practice though.
@first last, it's made my life better. It opens up our horizons in ways that nothing else can.
It's not nearly as rare as you think on a global scale. Most people the world over speak at least one and a half languages on average, but living in a predominantly monolithic linguistic landscape like the United States or Russia (where you're deprived of constant exposure to linguistic and cultural diversity) can lead to a highly skewed perception of what people are capable of and how they behave in general.
These kinds of misperceptions arising from cultural isolation can be trivial and amusing (like being impressed by things like multilingualism), but it's also the same species of ignorance that gives rise to suspicion, fear, prejudice, hate, and violence.
None of this, mind you, is meant to trivialize Crowther's abilities. His morphosyntax was spot on for each language despite the pronounced English accent he had in all of them except for French (absolutely flawless) and German (sounded almost native).
Tell me about and I only speak two 😂😂😂😂I knw the struggle
The Philip Crowther joke was fantastic and completely good natured. I’ve always wished I could speak multiple languages and I find that guy extremely impressive.
Dude's stock just went up like a thousand points from girls all over the damn world!!
"there goes tucker carlson's sponsors" shots fired
8:57min. Yes...."where is the library I must use the bathroom urgently"....Yes, very good.
"There goes Tucker Carlson's sponsors."
Excellent! and so true....
Made me laugh out loud....
No commercials from the MyTurnip guy.
Watch UK column news for feb. 25. for the rest of the story. Mainstream media lies.
This was great. ☆☆☆☆☆ lots of laughs. Thanks keep them coming.
Dirty politics
Peace for Ukrainian people 🙏🏻
Donetsk Runs on Borscht 😅😅
And hot damn, Philip Crowther is impressive!
In a time when we can digitally dunk on each other, I'm just glad that our memes are the dankest they can be. That embassy tweet *Chef's kiss *
As a German, I appreciate Stephen's joke about Germany's natural gas production. Hahaha. (laughs in metric)
Now back to work.
The Colbert wit is Top Notch 🤣
Keep rewriting history and you can tell whatever stories you want!! Good job!
Although this is funny, it ain't funny for the ppl of Ukraine etc who have to deal with this threat on a daily basis. There's no way most of us can comprehend just how awful that would be for them.
🙏🏼🇺🇦🙏🏼
sometimes colberts jokes about some serious stuff is not so funny ,
You have to find humor or you will go nuts. He takes shots at everything and everyone ..including himself.b Only Evee is safe!
To be fair, Zelensky has a Colbert style sense of humour. He has a law degree, but chose to work in comedy, before writing Servant of the People (which I highly recommend), set up a political party of the same name, and then became President. Through comedy he exposed, for me anyway, a lot of the Russian lead corruption in the Ukraine.
Most people aren't aware that Ukraine broke up in 2014 after a US-backed coup. Parts of Ukraine refused to go along with it......and they are what this is really about. You won't hear that on US media. The usual BS. It's why so many people don't trust them.
"There goes Tucker Carlson's sponsors."
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
this has to be one of the best written colbert mono's ever
"Putin's romantic partner" sounds as implausible as Tucker Carlson having an actual thought.
Or a romantic partner.
Well putin did love full diaper donnie's soft tiny hands ✋
Putin’s romantic partner is trumps wet dream.
Putin must have had a partner at least once. He has a daughter I heard. He had her get one of the first vaccinations of the Russian produced vaccine. Haven't heard anything more about her.
@@mdstate829 "warmonger". One word. And I much prefer "Lord of War".
That Philip Crawthorn correspondent was awesome. I wonder what language he uses when he talks to himself.
It depends. Most Europeans speak several languages. I used to get asked "what language do you dream in" a lot - again, it depends. On where I am, on whom I'm interacting with.
I'm part of that Ukrainian community that Steven is speaking of.Thet are wonderful people.
Oh I was wondering when these muppets were starting the parade! 😂 Nice seeing you following the script sThieve Coldbert
Imagine what a strong position the western world would be if we were less dependent on fossil fuels.
Imagine what strength the US would be able to speak with now if our government hadn't continually bowed down to the gas and oil lobby and had worked toward more wind and solar power. It's US citizens that are going to suffer for it as oil goes up to $100 + a barrel (which it has), and gas shoots up past $4 a gallon. The wealthy (including those in Congress) wouldn't be the only ones to not suffer as they keep their money in oil and keep us dependent on it.
Imagine how different things would be in our relations with the Middle East if we had, in the 1970s, learned a lesson from that fuel crisis, and in the 1980s when scientists started really warning of climate change, had also taken that to heart. By now, we'd be in an incredibly strong strategic position, on top of better off financially, with more jobs. But the rich wouldn't have gotten richer over and over and over.
Crude oil just went up a couple of dollars. It's probably the fire in the refinery that caused gas to go up. They're always ready to go up at the pumps for any reason. You're right that we blew it and didn't learn from the gas crisis
Imagine if Germany hadn't been stupid enough to swap clean, safe, carbon-neutral nuclear power for Russian natural gas.
This incident will install a new urgency for nations to go in this direction.
The point about blocking Russian gas to Europe is to capture market demand for U.S. dirty oil.
@@brookyogini6625 I certainly hope so, but all the gas crisis in the 1970s did was make smaller cars popular --for about a decade. Then big ol' American gas-guzzling cars, trucks, and SUVs popped right back to the top of the market.
“There goes Tucker Carlsons sponsor” . Brilliant
St. Basil's in Red Square was actually designed and built by an Italian. It was one of the most advanced structures in the world at that time.
It's Thursday, 5.30 PM now here in Bali. Things in Ucraine have gotten worse so fast within the last hours, that sadly, my favorite late night show and his host, the Great Steven Colbert, is not funny anymore to watch at this moment. Hoping so much, that this will change again soon..🙏❤🙏
Here I sit, shocked but not surprised to hear Trump calling Putin "very savvy" and his Ukraine plans and actions "genius", "wonderful", and "smart". 🙄
Those descriptions are not true for Putin, or Trump for that matter. Calling them corrupt, cruel, reckless, dangerous, irresponsible, hateful, and untrustworthy, would be MUCH MORE fitting.
In other words he is just like every American politician
Well I mean tbh Putin is awfully creative. Not saying that it's in a good way. However, you cannot deny he's at least creative. Also if anyone knows how to piss others off, it's Putin!
@@Nemesis-pe7mw I think the connotation for most, possibly quite literally, being creative consists on something being _created._ Putin? He only destroys.
If not, it should be.
@@Justusson not only is that the connotation. it's the denotation
@@Justusson I understand what you're saying. It's a matter of perspective.
He created, new laws and 2 new countries ;)
Which indeed leads to destruction.
Looking at it in a abstract way this also true for art. You create a painting by "destroying" a blank canvas and some paint. You're not going to be able to get the things you used to create back.
I’ve never been this early to a Colbert monologue, truly a treat and a highlight to f my week.
😎👍
This was a great clip. It was very informative
I hope I'll be able to laugh at this amazing material you've presented us in a near futur.
"Never mess with mother nature, mother in laws and mother freaking Ukrainians." - Skinny Pete.
Ironically the guy he was talking about was Polish… and the only non-English word he said was in Russian
@@artembentsionov well, dude, nobody said Badger and Skinny Pete were...like...geniuses or something!
It's a quote from The Italian Job