Great video ❤️ attraction to the wrong people has been very confusing to me, despite my logical mind knowing my needs weren’t being met. Seems like all our deepest wounds come from childhood. Thankful for the opportunity to heal ❤️
You explain this so elegantly, Candace. Thank you. My parents taught me to be co-dependent on them because of their own insecurities. I am breaking free of the trap and it feels so good.
This video has given me so much extra insight in codependent habbits... I've watched it four times in a row to really let the message come in. Thank you!!
I love the truth you speak. From experience it seems as though codependency mixed with the twin flame phenomena is particularly challenging since there's always a push/pull dynamic energetically even when there's no contact. But I hear that's a gift and I'm working on finding a place of acceptance knowing that we're both going through our own healing journey separately.
Needing this right now I am in relationship we been on and off for 6 years always go back the relationship not good at all it's got so toxic hurtful but I still live in hope it will change I recently found out this steam from my mum god rest her soul xx
Thank you for this video.. I feel validated and understoood. I became codependent on my mother for love and attention. I feel that I needed to be dependent on her so we can be connected, because when I am independent, she would just let me be, and totally forget me. Then now, I am being treated as too much and at fault for being too needy, and they chose to isolate me. Living in the one roof, they ignore me whenver I express my feelings. Never included me in meals or talked with me. I fee so much betrayal and anger.
Again I just want to continue to thank you for the videos. My biggest challenge now has even been with family, because I don't follow the leader. I love them, but working on breaking the cycle ❣️
I don’t know exactly where it originated, but, i keep returning to this quote i heard a few years ago (in regards to being a parents t); “We may be only one person in the world, But we are the world to one person” ✨✌️🥺❤️🩹😊♥️
Soooo many notes struck watching this. I have two alcoholic parents (one passed 3 years ago) and they kind of forced out of my brothers and sister and I to figure everything out for ourselves. Im still now midway through life figuring shit out I had no words for. Oh and BTW Candace, I mentioned your word "TRIBE" to my therapist and shes been using it with her other clients as she saw it really hit the nail on the head.
We unravel at what becomes unmanageable. For me it was the controlling nature of my family that scapegoated any verbal expression. It gave the message that anything I dared to speak would be used against me. Whatever was said was treated with contempt, as a challenge or an attack, so the family members could remain in control. Whenever I expressed myself and stood up for my feelings I was devalued and punished with blame and more controlling silence. If others are not for you then they clearly are against you and its time to remove the denial and run.
Thanks Candace. I've just discovered the world of HSP! I can't believe I had never heard about this before. It's changing my life. I've watched some of your videos and always get clarity on some aspects of my new understanding. I even started this new channel because I need to share and help others find their own power. 💚
I need to learn to let go I am depending on him for love and he's unemotional available he knows i don't want to spend Christmas alone but he saying he not sure if we gunna be together thank you appreciated God bless
Learn to depend on you first for love. I had to change my whole way of thinking and the way I treated myself. Once I conquered this now if I’m alone for Christmas I’m fine. In fact I’ve not been in a relationship almost two years now for the first time in my life and I love it! I enjoy spending time with myself now as opposed to trying to mold myself into someone else. Best dear one, take your power back you got this💞🧜♀️✌️
Huhhh the timing of this is perfect...literally what I am working with atm. Trying to detach that final root cord of physical codep of relying on mum to meet my basic needs/financial needs. And YESSS that's exactly what I felt...its not safe to own my power because I won't be connected to AND cause I attract attack there(past self saying this). There's just a piece missing for me atm of how I actually do this and achieve that physical autonomy, I feel like I am kinda missing the bridge or some sort of connection to get me from full dependency to full independence. Atm I feel in a bit of a bind with mum where, I cant receive or really give because I am sucked into her rship with and exchange with self filling the void of her feminine or playing the role of her suppressed aspect. I need her to move to allow me to move but she refuses to give to herself/give to and heal that aspect of self so I feel like I need a sorta buffer that let's me move independently of her and start to receive without needing her to change
Im not being codependent but this actually is my RUclips page so I come here here for information and entertainment. I think when someone becomes engaged or is going to be married they should arrange for the man or woman to get their own RUclips page so they can meet there. And they can take all their music because when the time is right I will figure out how to get my boyfriend and myself new music. I just think this is normal. I will have no reason to visit Community page so that might be a good place to be.
My father wanted me to be dependent on him, so he could play role of present parent and that exactly was this thing he never experienced in his childhood from his father because of his death. Now is clear.
i can't see how my parents could have been that person, but I can see how other people at school growing up could if that makes sense. Always felt there was a part of me that people didn't get
I'm CoD, and just learning it. I've just begun a relationship that feels healthy, huge chemistry and passion. I'm concerned: dive in because it feels to good? Or is it possible that it could be unhealthy or toxic later on?? The other component here is Negativity Bias: I am looking for the bad stuff about her in order to protect myself (feelings and emotions). Let it fly and fall in love? Or be cautious where Negativty Bias can ruin this 'good thing' ?? Oh, us CoD people are an indecisive bunch.
Deviation. Watched ur other video owning ur power. Ive a Q. Pls mk a video or pl reply. Ive owned my power, left & away from narc family, friends & exes. But I'm wanting to create a healthy romantic relationship. Feels like my purpose but waiting for it from ages hurts. Am I giving my power away to wanting a healthy relationship? Isn't it a valid need?
Candace. TY ❤ I am on month 23 from the final dicard from my Covert Narc soon to be Ex wife of 9 years. Why did I marry a CN? The even harder truth was that I also learned I was raised & spent 46 Years enabling, & supporting my single malignant Narc Mom who raised me& my 1 Narc brother (AKA The Golden Child). I buried my Mom a month ago. I have learned everything in the last 16 months. Parentified, Empath, HSP & more... I have so many new adjectives that I guess now describe me & my life... Morbidly Obese all my life, as my Mom was... Finally I have been freeded from the Co Depend Trap.... Result?---- I have lost 230 lbs in 20 months!! YES FOR REAL--Woot Woot! At 55 I am starting my life over again. I am about to hand my retirement funds to my Ex (Shes a textbook Covert)... Screw it, Ill make more money. Its worth every penny not to be near her. I found you here on YT.. And I am glad I did. Amongst all the Cluster B, NPD Channels & content-- Yours is a standout, & resonates with me. You ROCK Candace!. Do not stop- People have NO idea how evil these people truly are... There are so many I am learning who have similar stories, Except sadly, I have lost the majority of my life to the Evil that is NPD Abuse---but not anymore-- I live for me-- but Self Care should be Job #1 for a CoDependent-- and that is what I plan on doing---till I die.😊💪🙏❣❤❤
"I'm dependant on someone undependable" Very well said 💯
Thank you so much Candace :)
Shut up
Absolutely true. Like a reformed smoker, I avoid unhealed people now...yet am open to pointing them to a healing direction.
Great video ❤️ attraction to the wrong people has been very confusing to me, despite my logical mind knowing my needs weren’t being met. Seems like all our deepest wounds come from childhood. Thankful for the opportunity to heal ❤️
Thank You , Candace for your touching Video (s)❣️🌟🤗
Yes!! Thank you for this video! I needed this today!
You explain this so elegantly, Candace. Thank you. My parents taught me to be co-dependent on them because of their own insecurities. I am breaking free of the trap and it feels so good.
THIS IS A FANTASTIC SUPER HELPFUL VIDEO!!!!!! THANK YOU 😊
This video has given me so much extra insight in codependent habbits... I've watched it four times in a row to really let the message come in. Thank you!!
I love the truth you speak. From experience it seems as though codependency mixed with the twin flame phenomena is particularly challenging since there's always a push/pull dynamic energetically even when there's no contact. But I hear that's a gift and I'm working on finding a place of acceptance knowing that we're both going through our own healing journey separately.
Wow.Preach♥️.thank you again Candace ♥️
Thank you for this. Something in what you said just clicked. Gonna check out some more of your videos.
You're AWESOME! Thank you for sharing.
Needing this right now I am in relationship we been on and off for 6 years always go back the relationship not good at all it's got so toxic hurtful but I still live in hope it will change I recently found out this steam from my mum god rest her soul xx
Thank you so much! That was like a breath of fresh air! I most definitely needed to hear that :)
Thank you for this video.. I feel validated and understoood. I became codependent on my mother for love and attention. I feel that I needed to be dependent on her so we can be connected, because when I am independent, she would just let me be, and totally forget me. Then now, I am being treated as too much and at fault for being too needy, and they chose to isolate me. Living in the one roof, they ignore me whenver I express my feelings. Never included me in meals or talked with me. I fee so much betrayal and anger.
I really needed to hear this today. Thank you 🙏🏼
This was an amazing breakdown! Thank you!
Again I just want to continue to thank you for the videos. My biggest challenge now has even been with family, because I don't follow the leader. I love them, but working on breaking the cycle ❣️
This was a great video! Clearest cut informational video I’ve come across. Thank you
Wow. You explained that so well. My codependent behaviours make sence now. Why I feel so needy and anxious. Thank you.
I don’t know exactly where it originated, but, i keep returning to this quote i heard a few years ago (in regards to being a parents t);
“We may be only one person in the world,
But we are the world to one person” ✨✌️🥺❤️🩹😊♥️
Soooo many notes struck watching this. I have two alcoholic parents (one passed 3 years ago) and they kind of forced out of my brothers and sister and I to figure everything out for ourselves. Im still now midway through life figuring shit out I had no words for. Oh and BTW Candace, I mentioned your word "TRIBE" to my therapist and shes been using it with her other clients as she saw it really hit the nail on the head.
Thankyou!!! Exactly what I needed today!! ❤️
We unravel at what becomes unmanageable. For me it was the controlling nature of my family that scapegoated any verbal expression. It gave the message that anything I dared to speak would be used against me. Whatever was said was treated with contempt, as a challenge or an attack, so the family members could remain in control.
Whenever I expressed myself and stood up for my feelings I was devalued and punished with blame and more controlling silence. If others are not for you then they clearly are against you and its time to remove the denial and run.
Thank you Candace, amazing video as always 💙
Thank you for making this video. I appreciate you 🙏
POWERFUL ! Thank you so much Candace !
Thanks Candace. I've just discovered the world of HSP! I can't believe I had never heard about this before. It's changing my life. I've watched some of your videos and always get clarity on some aspects of my new understanding. I even started this new channel because I need to share and help others find their own power. 💚
Lol you never heard of it because.. therapist make up shit to excuse your needy behavior!
You are just amazing. Thats all I have go say. Your videos speak to me. God bless u. I love u!!
Such a crazy dynamic...!
Thnks!..tht u spreading ur kind advise n words to others..
Awesome video as always. Thank you 💞 I would also love to hear your insights on when/if it can go to far the other way into hyper independence?
Very true. Autonomy is my favorite word.
Your the best! Cheers, Sean
Just so daggone well put.
Thank you that was wonderful advice
I need to learn to let go I am depending on him for love and he's unemotional available he knows i don't want to spend Christmas alone but he saying he not sure if we gunna be together thank you appreciated God bless
When we date someone emotionally unavailable it’s because we are also emotionally unavailable. You deserve love !!! Good luck
Learn to depend on you first for love. I had to change my whole way of thinking and the way I treated myself. Once I conquered this now if I’m alone for Christmas I’m fine. In fact I’ve not been in a relationship almost two years now for the first time in my life and I love it! I enjoy spending time with myself now as opposed to trying to mold myself into someone else.
Best dear one, take your power back you got this💞🧜♀️✌️
@@bodymindsoul60 thank you Annie god bless you x
@@bodymindsoul60 thank you xx
@@beverlyallison4768 thank you God bless xx
Huhhh the timing of this is perfect...literally what I am working with atm. Trying to detach that final root cord of physical codep of relying on mum to meet my basic needs/financial needs. And YESSS that's exactly what I felt...its not safe to own my power because I won't be connected to AND cause I attract attack there(past self saying this). There's just a piece missing for me atm of how I actually do this and achieve that physical autonomy, I feel like I am kinda missing the bridge or some sort of connection to get me from full dependency to full independence. Atm I feel in a bit of a bind with mum where, I cant receive or really give because I am sucked into her rship with and exchange with self filling the void of her feminine or playing the role of her suppressed aspect. I need her to move to allow me to move but she refuses to give to herself/give to and heal that aspect of self so I feel like I need a sorta buffer that let's me move independently of her and start to receive without needing her to change
Im not being codependent but this actually is my RUclips page so I come here here for information and entertainment. I think when someone becomes engaged or is going to be married they should arrange for the man or woman to get their own RUclips page so they can meet there. And they can take all their music because when the time is right I will figure out how to get my boyfriend and myself new music. I just think this is normal. I will have no reason to visit Community page so that might be a good place to be.
Weakness is the big poison in this world we all too weak and sensitive to everything around us dats the problem nothing else
Thank you for sharing ❤️
My father wanted me to be dependent on him, so he could play role of present parent and that exactly was this thing he never experienced in his childhood from his father because of his death. Now is clear.
I’m so glad you are so clear and understand the tribal wounds! It’s huge
i can't see how my parents could have been that person, but I can see how other people at school growing up could if that makes sense. Always felt there was a part of me that people didn't get
Thank you so much..!!!
I'm CoD, and just learning it. I've just begun a relationship that feels healthy, huge chemistry and passion. I'm concerned: dive in because it feels to good? Or is it possible that it could be unhealthy or toxic later on?? The other component here is Negativity Bias: I am looking for the bad stuff about her in order to protect myself (feelings and emotions). Let it fly and fall in love? Or be cautious where Negativty Bias can ruin this 'good thing' ?? Oh, us CoD people are an indecisive bunch.
Thankyou for this ❤️
So good!!! Thank you :)
Thank you ❤️
Deviation. Watched ur other video owning ur power. Ive a Q. Pls mk a video or pl reply. Ive owned my power, left & away from narc family, friends & exes. But I'm wanting to create a healthy romantic relationship. Feels like my purpose but waiting for it from ages hurts. Am I giving my power away to wanting a healthy relationship? Isn't it a valid need?
excellent
It is an unhealthy dependence on your children, a lack of boundaries therein, and low emotional availability. Not sure what she's talking about.
❤️ U Candace
Candace. TY ❤ I am on month 23 from the final dicard from my Covert Narc soon to be Ex wife of 9 years. Why did I marry a CN? The even harder truth was that I also learned I was raised & spent 46 Years enabling, & supporting my single malignant Narc Mom who raised me& my 1 Narc brother (AKA The Golden Child). I buried my Mom a month ago. I have learned everything in the last 16 months. Parentified, Empath, HSP & more... I have so many new adjectives that I guess now describe me & my life... Morbidly Obese all my life, as my Mom was... Finally I have been freeded from the Co Depend Trap.... Result?---- I have lost 230 lbs in 20 months!! YES FOR REAL--Woot Woot! At 55 I am starting my life over again. I am about to hand my retirement funds to my Ex (Shes a textbook Covert)... Screw it, Ill make more money. Its worth every penny not to be near her. I found you here on YT.. And I am glad I did. Amongst all the Cluster B, NPD Channels & content-- Yours is a standout, & resonates with me. You ROCK Candace!. Do not stop- People have NO idea how evil these people truly are... There are so many I am learning who have similar stories, Except sadly, I have lost the majority of my life to the Evil that is NPD Abuse---but not anymore-- I live for me-- but Self Care should be Job #1 for a CoDependent-- and that is what I plan on doing---till I die.😊💪🙏❣❤❤
Candy Ace, See and ace
wow
👍👍👍
Took 50 years to understand.
Thank you soooooo much 🙏