Interesting topics, I can only give you my opinion on the topic, what i have noticed. There is no such thing as a fairy tale marriage, its just a phrase we use to describe something close to it. What has changed is not the tale, its the people. Long ago we had very mature men, who were both sensitive, manly and responsible. they didn't have these confusing definitions of what they are supposed to be. Today some men are weak and immature and unreliable. And i will also like to add, The colonized men and women from colonized countries are the ones that were corrupted by their colonizers, they were the ones that came with the perception that a man does not do anything in the house, does not lift a finger, this was not what we were thought in an Islamic cultures. These behaviours were inherited. Plus when Islam prevailed in a place, some of the non Islamic cultures were intertwined, for some reason some cultures refused to leave backward habits behind. Today we have a struggle between the sexes, this modern so called society has done enough damage to the way males and females view one another. Take my advice for those who want to listen, when the men rise to what they are expected to be, and follow their natural fitra, and follow the prophet pbuh example, respecting themselves and their women folk, men are leaders, so they should lead. woman will see it, recognize it, she will start to follow her natural fitra , and women will automatically follow.
I enjoyed this video. I agree with the ideals you're looking for in a husband, and your story is relatable to some of us. Keep up the excellent work, and may Allah bless you and your hustle and future endeavors.
Nobody in the Arab world excepts more than one wife. Women and families make it a condition to marry their women. You’d be lucky to find even one man in the Arab world who has more than one wife. But, the act is alive within African cultures.
??? I don't want to misunderstand, and I know this topic has a potential to go wild, but she said a lot in her video, but your focus was on her short mention of polygngy. Plus its strange that you have a general idea of what goes on in the arab world? I doubt very much that brothers will be approaching you personally to tell you how many wives they have. The problem here is not polygngy, the problem is when it is not done properly. There is a reason why we don't hear success stories, it's because there is no drama. There are success stories even among African cultures. So let's remain calm.
Getting married is solving the problem of being Single. 😂 - A person should always love for the sake ALLAH. No matter what, a husband or wife is still a servant of ALLAH and respect and care is expected. - I noticed if a husband goes to the masjid 5 times a day to pray in congregation, and goes to work, and participate in the community. He will be gone from the house allot.
Hey Fatma..I am from the US. Polyamory and polygamy happens here but it is not very common. And polygamy / polyamory is CERTAINLY not for me. You mentioned not minding being with a man that already has a wife. Can you please share your perspective on why you wouldn't mind being in that kind of relationship? (From my perspective, there's certain things you just don't share - like your toothbrush. It wouldn't bother you to have to share a man sexually? This would mean some nights you're in another room sleeping alone. The possibility of jealousy doesn't come across your mind and the stress of having to deal with it? You wouldn't worry about your mental and emotional needs not completely being met due to your husband also needing to responsible for the same in another woman that he also wants in his life? It wouldn't bother you to take care of the kids you both have had by your husband while your husband and his other wife go out on dates and spend time together? What is the point in getting married to live that kind of life? Your insight in another video please!!!) I used to have a Somalian neighbor who was married to a man and she expressed strongly that she wouldn't like if her husband added another woman to the mix. I also met a girl in college whose parents were from Zimbabwe (but she was from South Africa) and she had 60 something siblings because her father had several kids by nine women - polygamous relationship. I asked my college friend if she was okay with being in a polygamous relationship herself and she told me that her generation is steering away from polygamy and that the males don't even want it. In her heart of hearts she didn't want to be in a polygamous relationship either but she said a man has a way of treating a woman special so she would deal with it if that is what her husband wanted because polygamy is apart of her culture. On another note, I've gotten the pleasure of tasting Somalian food and it is DELICIOUS!!!! Somalian spaghetti and Sabusas are the best! I no longer eat meat, but I've tried looking for tutorials on RUclips on how to make Somalian spaghetti as well as Sambusa. All I've seen are tutorials in Somali - none in English. My neighbor made Somalian spaghetti with freshly hunted lamb meat. Please do a tutorial someday on how to make Somalian spaghetti as well as Sambusa if you know how to make it. I remember my neighbor made her Sambusas with ground beef, tomato, onion, jalapeño, and some Somalian seasoning that made it sooooo good! I will substitute meat for mushroom in my case.I didn't mean to write a whole essay. Thanks for reading if you've read this all! ❤❤❤
I could never be a second wife I rather get old by myself. I would be so miserable and everyone around me wil be unhappy so if my husband decides to have a second wife I will divorce him . I don't know how any woman would be ok with that. I know it is allowed in our religion but if you can't handle it.
Am the same as you. It usually depends on a person's upbringing. My parents have been married close to 40years now. I can't imagine being in a polygamous relationship. But it's ok for those who want that. Personally is either am miserable or I don't love him at all. Maybe if I married for other reasons, not love.
Aslaam Aleykum warahmatullahi wabarakatu sister unakam lini kenya nikama kunakitu inanifanya i just penda penda wewe i don't even know how to explain seriously .
Yeah, I mean if everyone wants to get married then that’s not a problem now I’m happy you made this video though. I just want you to be happy. I don’t want you to be upset about the marriage stuff. I think it will happen for you. I see the comments were kind of mean on the other video and it’s mean as shame people if they want something I mean I want marriage as well. And I heard about your childhood. It was kind of sad. You never deserve that honestly. but yeah, I get that me saying you’re obsessed with it I don’t think it’s true though anymore I don’t think you’re really obsessing over. I think it’s just part of your channel. I didn’t realize that was a part of your channel 1st and I realize a bunch of people talk about this, and that opened my eyes about it. Actually don’t really see nothing wrong with you because you’re not married. I don’t want you to ever think that. And yeah there’s a lot of like people in society saying there’s something wrong there’s nothing wrong with you. ❤
It’s okay, I appreciate your kind comment. I can’t control how people respond to my videos… and sometimes I don’t like to take things personal because it’s not good for my health. All in all on may Allah grant us what is Kheir for us. Ameen. Thank you 💕
Exactly, our Prophet helped out with chores in the home. It’s sunnah. Culture should not take precedence over religion.
Interesting topics, I can only give you my opinion on the topic, what i have noticed. There is no such thing as a fairy tale marriage, its just a phrase we use to describe something close to it. What has changed is not the tale, its the people. Long ago we had very mature men, who were both sensitive, manly and responsible. they didn't have these confusing definitions of what they are supposed to be. Today some men are weak and immature and unreliable. And i will also like to add, The colonized men and women from colonized countries are the ones that were corrupted by their colonizers, they were the ones that came with the perception that a man does not do anything in the house, does not lift a finger, this was not what we were thought in an Islamic cultures. These behaviours were inherited. Plus when Islam prevailed in a place, some of the non Islamic cultures were intertwined, for some reason some cultures refused to leave backward habits behind. Today we have a struggle between the sexes, this modern so called society has done enough damage to the way males and females view one another. Take my advice for those who want to listen, when the men rise to what they are expected to be, and follow their natural fitra, and follow the prophet pbuh example, respecting themselves and their women folk, men are leaders, so they should lead. woman will see it, recognize it, she will start to follow her natural fitra , and women will automatically follow.
Well said,May Almighty Allah bless you
I enjoyed this video. I agree with the ideals you're looking for in a husband, and your story is relatable to some of us. Keep up the excellent work, and may Allah bless you and your hustle and future endeavors.
A jewel 🎉 always and an emptiness in those can't have it
MaashaAllah Fathumo Nat aka Kuk zungumuza naa wewe from Hastings uk please
Any husband who cant help with chores is not a true friend. I personally help my wife because i acknowledge our friendship Masha Allah
Allahumma barik, may Allah put more barakah and mercy and love in your marriage 🤲🏾
@@FatmaOdyssey Ameen ya rabbi
I enjoy your vids Fatma. Much love
Always enjoying ur content Apa ❤
Asalaamu alaikum sister Fatma love this video alot. Allah make it easy
Nobody in the Arab world excepts more than one wife. Women and families make it a condition to marry their women. You’d be lucky to find even one man in the Arab world who has more than one wife. But, the act is alive within African cultures.
??? I don't want to misunderstand, and I know this topic has a potential to go wild, but she said a lot in her video, but your focus was on her short mention of polygngy.
Plus its strange that you have a general idea of what goes on in the arab world? I doubt very much that brothers will be approaching you personally to tell you how many wives they have. The problem here is not polygngy, the problem is when it is not done properly. There is a reason why we don't hear success stories, it's because there is no drama. There are success stories even among African cultures. So let's remain calm.
@@zahrahramnath9380 Sorry you took my comment on a comment she made, so personal. I’m just sharing facts.
Getting married is solving the problem of being Single. 😂 - A person should always love for the sake ALLAH. No matter what, a husband or wife is still a servant of ALLAH and respect and care is expected. - I noticed if a husband goes to the masjid 5 times a day to pray in congregation, and goes to work, and participate in the community. He will be gone from the house allot.
Good girl and very cleaner we want women like you
Assallam aleiykum warahmatullahi wabarakaatuhu
❤
❤❤
Hey Fatma..I am from the US. Polyamory and polygamy happens here but it is not very common. And polygamy / polyamory is CERTAINLY not for me. You mentioned not minding being with a man that already has a wife. Can you please share your perspective on why you wouldn't mind being in that kind of relationship?
(From my perspective, there's certain things you just don't share - like your toothbrush. It wouldn't bother you to have to share a man sexually? This would mean some nights you're in another room sleeping alone. The possibility of jealousy doesn't come across your mind and the stress of having to deal with it? You wouldn't worry about your mental and emotional needs not completely being met due to your husband also needing to responsible for the same in another woman that he also wants in his life? It wouldn't bother you to take care of the kids you both have had by your husband while your husband and his other wife go out on dates and spend time together? What is the point in getting married to live that kind of life? Your insight in another video please!!!)
I used to have a Somalian neighbor who was married to a man and she expressed strongly that she wouldn't like if her husband added another woman to the mix. I also met a girl in college whose parents were from Zimbabwe (but she was from South Africa) and she had 60 something siblings because her father had several kids by nine women - polygamous relationship. I asked my college friend if she was okay with being in a polygamous relationship herself and she told me that her generation is steering away from polygamy and that the males don't even want it. In her heart of hearts she didn't want to be in a polygamous relationship either but she said a man has a way of treating a woman special so she would deal with it if that is what her husband wanted because polygamy is apart of her culture.
On another note, I've gotten the pleasure of tasting Somalian food and it is DELICIOUS!!!! Somalian spaghetti and Sabusas are the best! I no longer eat meat, but I've tried looking for tutorials on RUclips on how to make Somalian spaghetti as well as Sambusa. All I've seen are tutorials in Somali - none in English. My neighbor made Somalian spaghetti with freshly hunted lamb meat.
Please do a tutorial someday on how to make Somalian spaghetti as well as Sambusa if you know how to make it. I remember my neighbor made her Sambusas with ground beef, tomato, onion, jalapeño, and some Somalian seasoning that made it sooooo good! I will substitute meat for mushroom in my case.I didn't mean to write a whole essay. Thanks for reading if you've read this all! ❤❤❤
Salaam alaik
I could never be a second wife I rather get old by myself. I would be so miserable and everyone around me wil be unhappy so if my husband decides to have a second wife I will divorce him . I don't know how any woman would be ok with that. I know it is allowed in our religion but if you can't handle it.
ur husband dont belong to u . hes a loan from Allah. pologamy is good for us Alhumdullilah
Not all women are the same. Personally I don’t mind, that’s if he is following it correctly. I enjoy me time a lot.
Am the same as you. It usually depends on a person's upbringing. My parents have been married close to 40years now. I can't imagine being in a polygamous relationship.
But it's ok for those who want that. Personally is either am miserable or I don't love him at all. Maybe if I married for other reasons, not love.
Aslaam Aleykum warahmatullahi wabarakatu sister unakam lini kenya nikama kunakitu inanifanya i just penda penda wewe i don't even know how to explain seriously .
te quiero también ❤
🥰🥰
Yeah, I mean if everyone wants to get married then that’s not a problem now I’m happy you made this video though. I just want you to be happy. I don’t want you to be upset about the marriage stuff. I think it will happen for you. I see the comments were kind of mean on the other video and it’s mean as shame people if they want something I mean I want marriage as well. And I heard about your childhood. It was kind of sad. You never deserve that honestly. but yeah, I get that me saying you’re obsessed with it I don’t think it’s true though anymore I don’t think you’re really obsessing over. I think it’s just part of your channel. I didn’t realize that was a part of your channel 1st and I realize a bunch of people talk about this, and that opened my eyes about it. Actually don’t really see nothing wrong with you because you’re not married. I don’t want you to ever think that. And yeah there’s a lot of like people in society saying there’s something wrong there’s nothing wrong with you. ❤
It’s okay, I appreciate your kind comment. I can’t control how people respond to my videos… and sometimes I don’t like to take things personal because it’s not good for my health. All in all on may Allah grant us what is Kheir for us. Ameen. Thank you 💕
Salam Fatma, I hope you are doing well. I like to connect with you sister. What is the best way to reach you?
Salam, I have my email on this channel
Dear sister, do you think someone's skin color identifies the way you feel while they offer you certain services?
Sometimes…