Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

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  • Опубликовано: 20 сен 2024
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    Excruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications whatsoever.
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Комментарии • 10 тыс.

  • @yuckydude
    @yuckydude 5 лет назад +11407

    "Authorities in special uniforms rushed to the scene to stand around while our cameras filmed them" hahaha

    • @patarrrrrrr3
      @patarrrrrrr3 5 лет назад +245

      One of the guys looked like a mailman

    • @alvideos2145
      @alvideos2145 5 лет назад +47

      LOLLLLLLL

    • @victoriaperez741
      @victoriaperez741 5 лет назад +98

      so many one liners that are "pee in your pants worthy" .... can't pick a favorite ... this comment section is on fire...

    • @nfrench2100
      @nfrench2100 5 лет назад +35

      I think that it’s so cool that you, and millions of other people, have the ability to quote things that you see. Seriously tho, how do you it?!??!!

    • @Nimbus3690
      @Nimbus3690 4 года назад +24

      @@nfrench2100 it's a special skill, shame you don't possess it

  • @backwatersandbackroads
    @backwatersandbackroads 5 лет назад +5754

    My favorite Onion headline: "pharmaceutical industry creates drug to alleviate mistrust of pharmaceutical industry"

    • @bicyclist2
      @bicyclist2 5 лет назад +64

      LOL I'm sure they would if they could!

    • @a_commenter
      @a_commenter 5 лет назад +319

      My favorite is “NASA frantically announces mission to Earth’s core after accidentally launching rocket upside down”

    • @fgdbbddhhdhdj1591
      @fgdbbddhhdhdj1591 5 лет назад +13

      A commenter omg thats so funny I cant stop

    • @bradbradlylife9918
      @bradbradlylife9918 4 года назад +42

      My favorite is "McDonalds Now Handling Welfare"

    • @TheWillysmith87
      @TheWillysmith87 4 года назад +106

      Government Quietly Raising Speed Limits Near Schools With Low Test Scores

  • @Jerry-yd8pj
    @Jerry-yd8pj Год назад +12211

    This is, without exaggerating, exactly how my brain perceives the news.

    • @sylviaalger4917
      @sylviaalger4917 Год назад +147

      I haven’t watch the news for the last two years because the spin makes me want to puke.

    • @jamesgizasson
      @jamesgizasson 11 месяцев назад +119

      That's because you're actually paying attention... it wasn't meant for you. XD

    • @andybaldman
      @andybaldman 11 месяцев назад +56

      Because that’s literally all the news is today.

    • @Larstig81
      @Larstig81 11 месяцев назад +27

      Same and I don't live in America.

    • @RomiNa-wo6mu
      @RomiNa-wo6mu 10 месяцев назад +5

      Omg same! I'm glad i'm not alone

  • @jackson4162
    @jackson4162 10 месяцев назад +2857

    “This bullshit has some broader implications.”
    Every essay or paper I’ve ever written

  • @johanfwahlberg
    @johanfwahlberg 5 лет назад +7456

    "I'm just some f%cking guy"

    • @bostonianluke6544
      @bostonianluke6544 5 лет назад +57

      Johan F. Wahlberg Thats my self esteem right there

    • @Cooperqwerty
      @Cooperqwerty 5 лет назад +66

      That was definitely my favorite bit right then

    • @bradbradlylife9918
      @bradbradlylife9918 4 года назад +69

      He said it with such a crushed spirit. Very relatable

    • @rusttynail77
      @rusttynail77 4 года назад +17

      Hey bud you can swear on the internet. i promise its ok

    • @crappymccrappen4897
      @crappymccrappen4897 4 года назад +11

      He said it cause this is what bulshit on scene reporters end their report with. They say their name and the broadcast switches to studio.

  • @woodybob01
    @woodybob01 5 лет назад +44784

    the only inaccuracy is how quickly the reporter responds

    • @onkelpappkov2666
      @onkelpappkov2666 5 лет назад +2555

      ...
      ...
      Exactly, Woody. What we see here is unprecedented. I have never seen a reporter not hold his ear for a couple of seconds before responding. We will see how this satire unfolds. Back to you.
      ...

    • @juschu67
      @juschu67 5 лет назад +347

      accuracy is only in the eyes of the beholder

    • @corncobs
      @corncobs 5 лет назад +44

      Yeees

    • @dreambeliever3652
      @dreambeliever3652 5 лет назад +707

      Yeah.... need the 5 second blank stare 😂

    • @Jinesh_
      @Jinesh_ 5 лет назад +507

      No you're wrong.. Didn't you hear they use very expensive technology

  • @romusz
    @romusz 4 года назад +9173

    "Now, in a desperate attempt to fill 24 hours of programming..."
    *TRUTH*

    • @chriswhited
      @chriswhited 4 года назад +77

      that's it in a nutshell.

    • @alexanderluo
      @alexanderluo 4 года назад +11

      @Max ahh, that profile pic

    • @yuckydude
      @yuckydude 4 года назад +41

      Seriously. Every show on 24/7 news channels should be required to recite that statement at the beginning of their shows.

    • @joeb7703
      @joeb7703 4 года назад +7

      Seems the Onion's more credible than real news, lol

    • @srbrant5391
      @srbrant5391 2 года назад +4

      "We now digress from this humanitarian crisis to a story about an Iowa woman who trained a squirrel to waterski."

  • @staticradio724
    @staticradio724 4 месяца назад +203

    14 years later, and some bullshit is *still* going on somewhere. Unbelievable.

    • @Nexahexaflexa
      @Nexahexaflexa Месяц назад +18

      Back then we didn't have so much bullshit everywhere, this society is doomed - source: I'm an old man, you can trust me.

    • @poptartdom
      @poptartdom 18 дней назад +3

      No, we have bullshit going on everywhere now. It WAS on the rise and continues to be. xD

  • @cartertheunstoppablefaxmac902
    @cartertheunstoppablefaxmac902 3 года назад +10296

    "And here's some footage of Congress."
    "Yes, I see that."
    Kills me every time

    • @tubwaiyan6776
      @tubwaiyan6776 3 года назад +33

      What are you,cat?

    • @scottmatheson3346
      @scottmatheson3346 Год назад

      No, congress can only kill you once

    • @leafbranch1872
      @leafbranch1872 Год назад

      If only Congress were just BS; instead it's war crazed Democrats and fascistic Republicans.
      All getting wealthy in the process.

    • @malachiramel9516
      @malachiramel9516 Год назад +8

      60% of the time, it works every time.

    • @FC0BCA7E7A
      @FC0BCA7E7A 11 месяцев назад +2

      How many times can you be “killed”? Such a dumb comment

  • @abbyblack100
    @abbyblack100 10 лет назад +3388

    After 30-years in the "news" business, I can truthfully say this is the fundamental subtext beneath every story I've ever reported.

    • @snicker12
      @snicker12 6 лет назад +148

      Appreciate the honesty

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 6 лет назад +7

      abbyblack100 what's the subtext here?

    • @shawnstatzer3137
      @shawnstatzer3137 6 лет назад +106

      Like sex, news sells. And being interviewed on the news, I can say that the mob of news presenters gathered around me like a prized meal, as their microphones flailed like daggers to fend off their rival.

    • @picklehead9541
      @picklehead9541 5 лет назад +3

      Eyy 420 likes

    • @customerservicerobot2910
      @customerservicerobot2910 5 лет назад +4

      @@picklehead9541 Now 666. This is some cursed shit.

  • @eMiLpR0p
    @eMiLpR0p 5 лет назад +18623

    This video has aged well.

    • @Demi.d3mi
      @Demi.d3mi 5 лет назад +308

      Like a fine wine

    • @ginoyesano5649
      @ginoyesano5649 5 лет назад +126

      @@Demi.d3mi Like J̶o̶s̶e̶p̶h̶ ̶J̶o̶e̶s̶t̶a̶r̶

    • @charleseternal1751
      @charleseternal1751 5 лет назад +22

      True

    • @thelamergamer1894
      @thelamergamer1894 5 лет назад +42

      @@ginoyesano5649 I love you.

    • @yuckydude
      @yuckydude 5 лет назад +100

      It's really great writing that makes it still seem like a spot on parody of cable news channels

  • @doctorfeinstone6524
    @doctorfeinstone6524 10 месяцев назад +2167

    "In our desperate attempt to fill 24 hours of programming, here's a report of this fairly common thing". This right here is so accurate to how news actually works. I love it!

    • @dorothyjohnson6743
      @dorothyjohnson6743 5 месяцев назад +3

      Oh, yes!

    • @rawtrout007
      @rawtrout007 5 месяцев назад +29

      “I’m an older man, so you can trust what I say!”

    • @_jpg
      @_jpg 5 месяцев назад +11

      Very nice of the free citizens of the very free US of A to share all their free BS with countries around the world 🥳

    • @BorisBoris-sl1sf
      @BorisBoris-sl1sf 3 месяца назад +1

      @@_jpg and where do you live, honey?

    • @_jpg
      @_jpg 3 месяца назад +1

      @@BorisBoris-sl1sf Obviously in the land flowing with milk and honey, sugar 😘

  • @Necrofantasiaaa
    @Necrofantasiaaa 9 лет назад +5374

    "Report: kids now too lazy to imitate TV violence"

    • @Mineav
      @Mineav 9 лет назад +99

      More and more kids these days are washing themselves with a wet rag on a stick while watching TV. It's just getting worse. SMH

    • @wildbill31
      @wildbill31 6 лет назад +16

      Next in news is the tv talking directly to you or is it all in your head lol and after that lets see how much the news can say and people will believe lol

    • @rickh3714
      @rickh3714 5 лет назад +12

      Too many kids on TV being violent or receiving violence in reality, to be at home watching other violence. They are all out there doing it or falling prey to it. The impressive University headed piece of paper said so!
      No one watches TV anymore anyway. Take it from me. I'm an older man. These kids will only be believable if/when they eventually achieve the status of being either an attractive witness. Or an older man. Or by wearing a special uniform while in a group of others wearing different special uniforms with at least 2 attractive witnesses and five older men, two of whom must wear either Kiwanis, Masonic symbols or US service medals.
      Only then, and only if , reported by an attractive (one in hundred thousand in terms of good looks) News reporter dressed in either black and white cotton or mid Navy blue corporate satin.
      She must also be either an immaculate snappy Asian lady with very strong opinions about decaffeinated coffee, or a very glamorously chic & toned black woman into extreme yoga and mindfulness.
      If neither an absolutely cruel looking platinum blonde given to outrageous statements about vulnerable people who earn 5% at most of what she does- wiill suffice!
      Possibly Fake news unless reporter intends to become one of those ( Unless he is actually a transitioning older male reporter of indeterminate looks working for The Onion ) Believe it or not!

    • @aburrito4973
      @aburrito4973 5 лет назад +6

      Lemme smash

    • @iwasgroomed
      @iwasgroomed 5 лет назад

      hi

  • @warhedd
    @warhedd 3 года назад +16720

    "I'm just some fucking guy" is the best line ever concieved

    • @jjchilidogs1990
      @jjchilidogs1990 3 года назад +102

      And it relates today

    • @emily4389
      @emily4389 2 года назад +293

      in the end everyone is just some fucking guy. beautiful

    • @csorfab
      @csorfab 2 года назад +276

      It's not just the line, it's the timing, the delivery, it's everything. These people are geniuses

    • @bl8388
      @bl8388 2 года назад +2

      It's like they used a time machine to see the bullshit that happened this week. Or the bullshit next Tuesday. Some big bullshit is about to happen next Tuesday.

    • @greatveemon2
      @greatveemon2 2 года назад +50

      Why reporters don't use this as an outro?
      This is hillarious.

  • @millitron3666
    @millitron3666 5 лет назад +4314

    "I get mad about every bullshit thing I see." More true now than ever.

    • @heartofjustice6041
      @heartofjustice6041 5 лет назад +5

      I was like 667

    • @Haihatu
      @Haihatu 5 лет назад

      yous gon git dem cheeks took my nigga I am mad at this bullshit as you can tell by the lack of bullshit put at the end of my sentences

    • @geotechms
      @geotechms 5 лет назад +15

      This is actually so close to reality that I only laughed at half of the video.

    • @heartofjustice6041
      @heartofjustice6041 5 лет назад

      @@Haihatu bend down

    • @Haihatu
      @Haihatu 5 лет назад

      yous gon git dem cheeks took my nigga nice name

  • @apuboi1527
    @apuboi1527 10 месяцев назад +1091

    1:46 “I’m just some fucking guy.” The humility and confidence of that sentence! 😆

    • @zubetp
      @zubetp 5 месяцев назад +23

      the duality of man

    • @theystoleitfromus
      @theystoleitfromus 4 месяца назад +17

      It gets me every fucking time. It's the main fucking reason I keep coming back.

    • @Tristram9
      @Tristram9 4 месяца назад +4

      Truer words may have never been spoken…

    • @happypandaface710
      @happypandaface710 2 месяца назад

      @@theystoleitfromus same

    • @LoktionBanger
      @LoktionBanger Месяц назад +1

      😂 aren't we all just some fuckin guys?

  • @mikewalker678
    @mikewalker678 7 лет назад +3107

    "I once saw some stuff kind of like the shit you're talking about happen. I have nothing more to add."
    Gold.

    • @medexamtoolscom
      @medexamtoolscom 5 лет назад +54

      I have a comment of no additional substance to use as a reply to your comment that simply directly quoted the video. And here it is.

    • @tarod3
      @tarod3 5 лет назад +18

      I came here to add something pedantic because I want to feel involved.

    • @calvincoleman7543
      @calvincoleman7543 5 лет назад +6

      I'm also in this thread because fuck you

    • @historicalaccuracy15
      @historicalaccuracy15 5 лет назад +5

      And I came here to comment that I'm offended by the overly pedantic and stupid fucking bullshit here that other commenters said which are clearly microaggressions against people whose comments hold no value kind of like mi- oh wait

    • @mikealpha4169
      @mikealpha4169 5 лет назад +7

      I am inserting my opinion in a desperate attempt to not feel dead on the inside

  • @jcrossx
    @jcrossx 4 года назад +14396

    Glen: "And here's some footage of congress."
    Keith: "Yes I see that."
    LOL

    • @Erksah68
      @Erksah68 4 года назад +2

      this is the first time yi changed
      n999 to the full n-thousand

    • @PotawatomiThunderNew
      @PotawatomiThunderNew 4 года назад +189

      😂 I love how they just randomly stuck that in there in the middle of all the talk about bullshit. No lead in or lead out. It’s just there.

    • @TimeandMonotony
      @TimeandMonotony 4 года назад +41

      That was when I lost it. 😂

    • @antoineturgeon2474
      @antoineturgeon2474 4 года назад +2

      @@PotawatomiThunderNew Aphorisms!!! Aphorisms!!! XDXDXD

    • @gulyaswift1503
      @gulyaswift1503 4 года назад +2

      Socially Awkward Introvert 😅

  • @Amenomihashira
    @Amenomihashira 4 года назад +4120

    "Some say it's because of one fucking reason, others say it's because of some other fucking reason." It's hard to pick a best line in this, but for me it's this one.

    • @jackson4162
      @jackson4162 2 года назад +100

      Basically every paper i've ever written

    • @harrisonjones1087
      @harrisonjones1087 2 года назад +7

      agree

    • @kristencrawford1101
      @kristencrawford1101 2 года назад +3

      This is the one!!

    • @papigringo5692
      @papigringo5692 2 года назад

      Whatever, you're just some fucking guy.

    • @the_otter5936
      @the_otter5936 2 года назад +67

      "Residents in this neighborhood were shocked to see this fairly common thing happening. An attractive witness described the event in breathless terms."

  • @Bowie_E
    @Bowie_E 10 месяцев назад +205

    "Yes, I see that."

  • @bendito247
    @bendito247 4 года назад +2177

    “I’m an older man so you can trust what I say”
    LMAO

    • @inanjarif1388
      @inanjarif1388 4 года назад +38

      *ignores comment*
      "@@ultraaatf _will remember that"_

    • @cyborgboomer1701
      @cyborgboomer1701 4 года назад +23

      @@ultraaatf Are you ok bro? You look like you're having a stroke over there.

    • @lowquality49
      @lowquality49 4 года назад +4

      Ultraft i'm officially done with humanity y'all

    • @johndelaney5173
      @johndelaney5173 4 года назад +4

      Ultraft I bet you’re rly fun to hang out with...

    • @lowquality49
      @lowquality49 4 года назад +1

      rip veonnj 😭

  • @Ladondorf
    @Ladondorf 6 лет назад +1406

    This is some of the greatest news satire ever written.

    • @ObscuredByTime
      @ObscuredByTime 5 лет назад +63

      It really is The Onion's #1 video piece. It's just absolute perfection. There's lots of funny Onion videos, but this one is the granddaddy for it's eternal relevance. It actually can't ever be topped if you think about it, because it too aptly summarizes the entire concept of news satire.

    • @jeffcochran2195
      @jeffcochran2195 5 лет назад +2

      LMAO for sure!

    • @yungchill69
      @yungchill69 5 лет назад +7

      @@ObscuredByTime i like the "stupid piece of shit that doesnt fucking work" lol it still gets me laughing to this day

    • @alvallac2171
      @alvallac2171 5 лет назад

      @@ObscuredByTime *its (possessive)
      it's = contraction of "it is/has"

    • @alvallac2171
      @alvallac2171 5 лет назад

      @Patrick Ancona *except

  • @delicioushomemadestrawberr8730
    @delicioushomemadestrawberr8730 5 лет назад +10656

    "Im an old man, so you can trust what I say" 😂😂

    • @mikebronicki6978
      @mikebronicki6978 5 лет назад +271

      9 year old video, those were the good old days when you could trust what an old man said.

    • @davidholman48
      @davidholman48 5 лет назад +313

      Well, I'm an old man and I'm full of bullshit.

    • @sterlingsilver5937
      @sterlingsilver5937 5 лет назад +9

      😂

    • @Thulesmann
      @Thulesmann 5 лет назад +114

      @@davidholman48 Same here, except in my case it's actual shit because I'm constipated.

    • @tomsdottir
      @tomsdottir 5 лет назад +32

      Every dad, everywhere, all the time.

  • @Khainite
    @Khainite 10 месяцев назад +272

    Without a doubt this is one of the best and most accurate Onion videos. 95% of the news is basically this. Stupid shit that doesn't matter that they cover to fill air time.

    • @G6JPG
      @G6JPG 5 месяцев назад +6

      On the whole, I'd rather that than what we get on UK news - which is repeats ad nauseam of the same five or ten reports, several times an hour.

    • @korana6308
      @korana6308 3 месяца назад

      And that is actually exactly what they are getting paid to do. Find some bs to fill air time... until they get a directional note to report on something or some pushed down agenda from the higher ups, trying to control a certain narrative within the public, and in between those narratives you get some random bs that the reporters get paid to find to fill air time...

  • @elevencharlie9549
    @elevencharlie9549 5 лет назад +1895

    This is one of the most brilliant things I've ever seen. I want to hug whoever wrote this absolute gold, and all the people who flawlessly delivered their lines.

    • @Herbert2892
      @Herbert2892 5 лет назад +43

      i can see it by the size of the bullshit you just typed

    • @musicunderground6324
      @musicunderground6324 5 лет назад +14

      Amazing bullshit comment -with unnoticed sarcastic underlined tones. Fuck your bullshit translation get big Mad by this bullshit about your bullshit

    • @greghemlock6679
      @greghemlock6679 5 лет назад +5

      CNN

    • @bubboydarker9030
      @bubboydarker9030 5 лет назад +19

      @@greghemlock6679 that's bullshit

    • @Th3Siam
      @Th3Siam 5 лет назад +12

      @@greghemlock6679 stop bullshitting

  • @mason3845
    @mason3845 Год назад +3292

    The best part about this is how quickly they move on from the “tips” slide. Every single news station expects you to read that slide in 2 seconds.

    • @KamalasNotLikeUs
      @KamalasNotLikeUs 11 месяцев назад +39

      Your local junior college might have some remedial reading courses to help you.

    • @plumjet09
      @plumjet09 10 месяцев назад +24

      Idk about you but I was able to read it

    • @supa3ek
      @supa3ek 7 месяцев назад +18

      It hides the bullshit

    • @DrSwazz
      @DrSwazz 5 месяцев назад +29

      If you’re seeing the slide for the first time your brain isn’t expecting to have to read everything in so short a time.

    • @Johnnyvtg
      @Johnnyvtg 5 месяцев назад +41

      ​@@KamalasNotLikeUsBro is the kid who "read" books in one day and couldn't recite a single thing from them

  • @skylarfox_bmb
    @skylarfox_bmb 5 лет назад +6602

    "And here's some footage of congress."
    "Yes, I see that."

    • @sterlingsilver5937
      @sterlingsilver5937 5 лет назад +35

      Lol!

    • @CosmicCleric
      @CosmicCleric 5 лет назад +41

      I was expecting a cut scene from the comedy movie History of the World Part 1 showing Roman senators walking into the Senate just saying "bullshit bullshit bullshit" over and over again.

    • @pillarshipempireemployee0142
      @pillarshipempireemployee0142 5 лет назад +22

      Yes, I see that you just copy and pasted the words from the video.

    • @NevanSlone
      @NevanSlone 5 лет назад +3

      Ahhh beat me too it

    • @papabird4425
      @papabird4425 5 лет назад +4

      Best part

  • @thedarkurge420
    @thedarkurge420 5 месяцев назад +49

    “there’s no way there will be” underrated

  • @chrisletsinger1724
    @chrisletsinger1724 4 года назад +1612

    Best thing might be the scrolling stories on the bottom:
    "Billion dollar military contract awarded to Nerf"
    "porno better than real movie it was based on"

    • @briant7265
      @briant7265 4 года назад +124

      They predicted Captain Marvel!

    • @Vrael7777
      @Vrael7777 4 года назад +51

      And The Last Jedi

    • @joy2955
      @joy2955 3 года назад +16

      The porno one made me laugh out loud!

    • @michaelshea1683
      @michaelshea1683 3 года назад +4

      Joy...same here!! 😂😂😂

    • @anone.mousse674
      @anone.mousse674 3 года назад +34

      "Obama to conduct traditional St. Patrick's Day pardoning of an Irishman" had me cackling.

  • @heidiharris9227
    @heidiharris9227 4 года назад +10018

    "i'm just some f***ing guy" 😂

    • @dindin9487
      @dindin9487 4 года назад +121

      It's the best part

    • @NegaGandhi
      @NegaGandhi 4 года назад +102

      Story of my life

    • @SonBrimmer
      @SonBrimmer 4 года назад +25

      That’s my favorite part too🤣

    • @chuck3462
      @chuck3462 4 года назад +17

      Laughed just as hard at this line the second time I watched it

    • @bliss252
      @bliss252 4 года назад +9

      😂 best line.

  • @nzssgecgeneralsecretary732
    @nzssgecgeneralsecretary732 7 лет назад +2535

    1:39 "Let us know if there are any updates on this story..."
    "There's no way there will be."
    "Very good, we'll check back with you in an hour anyway".

    • @brianwillis8447
      @brianwillis8447 7 лет назад +404

      I'm just some fucking guy.

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 6 лет назад +11

      NZSSGEC General Secretary basically cnn

    • @phinguyen97
      @phinguyen97 5 лет назад +14

      that's my favorite part

  • @juannov7
    @juannov7 10 месяцев назад +166

    How is this still making me tear up with laughter 13 yrs later 😂😂 a true youtube gem

    • @tinachristine4573
      @tinachristine4573 4 месяца назад +2

      I just fell on it now and I'm cackling 😂😂😂😂

  • @Jogwheel
    @Jogwheel 4 года назад +5651

    Happy 10th anniversary to this all-time classic.

    • @WakaWaka2468
      @WakaWaka2468 4 года назад +21

      Fuck you

    • @Jogwheel
      @Jogwheel 4 года назад +43

      @@WakaWaka2468 Ok, cool, thanks.

    • @johncam8420
      @johncam8420 4 года назад +7

      it took 10 years for me to watch this classic, but Im happy Ive seen this :D

    • @Jogwheel
      @Jogwheel 4 года назад +5

      @Poltibaz Prime I'm sorry?

    • @alcatroze
      @alcatroze 4 года назад

      @@Jogwheel 😂

  • @frankborder
    @frankborder Год назад +2561

    I love that the actual notes written in were about the bear but the anchor is still just calling it bs

    • @frederickoftheartic2209
      @frederickoftheartic2209 Год назад +122

      I mean, it is bullshit.

    • @X3R0D3D
      @X3R0D3D Год назад

      @@frederickoftheartic2209 if youve ever seen a bear in person, it really is some serious bullshit. especially when they try to take your shit.

    • @chibbersthesquirrel6189
      @chibbersthesquirrel6189 Год назад +98

      The whole video is that way, I love it. All the graphics and everything are just like a normal news broadcast about a bear in a residential neighborhood

    • @breakfreak3181
      @breakfreak3181 11 месяцев назад +6

      I know. I love the attention to detail!

    • @birodactyl_of_the_web
      @birodactyl_of_the_web 11 месяцев назад +20

      You could change the voiceover and it would seem like a regular news report

  • @EffingtonCouldBe
    @EffingtonCouldBe 9 лет назад +5054

    Amen - this is PERFECTION.

    • @superslayinggoku5330
      @superslayinggoku5330 5 лет назад +13

      "I'm just some f*cking guy" 🤣😂😂🤣😂😂😂🤣😂😂

    • @ibstudent4207
      @ibstudent4207 5 лет назад +3

      Super Slaying Goku I’m mast happy to be on tv

    • @isaacwilcox3010
      @isaacwilcox3010 4 года назад +1

      Amen

    • @EffingtonCouldBe
      @EffingtonCouldBe 3 года назад +1

      @a c Stop telling people what they can & cannot say... now that's some BULLSHIT.

    • @TSwany
      @TSwany 3 года назад +1

      hey you're the angry birds guy!!!!1!!!111!!! /s

  • @MikeC-o3r
    @MikeC-o3r 5 месяцев назад +27

    You’ve just described 90% of Australian “news” broadcasts. Loved your video

  • @stellarwind1946
    @stellarwind1946 Год назад +4907

    “Authorities in special uniforms rushed to the scene to stand around while our cameras filmed them.”
    That’s the most accurate thing I’ve ever heard.

    • @sergiovela9961
      @sergiovela9961 Год назад +34

      That’s my favorite line. I heard it right before I read your comment. 🤣🤣

    • @KevinJDildonik
      @KevinJDildonik Год назад +87

      My tiny town used to have a local news show. One of their clips in the opening barrage was the entire police squad burning confiscated marijuana. In an open barrel. Just standing around and staring at it. Some say, even inhaling.

    • @jt_on_youtube
      @jt_on_youtube Год назад +11

      Always have to get credit, even when doing nothing.

    • @GGER420
      @GGER420 Год назад +1

      Ol this bullshit is getting out of hand
      I played the video while looking at some comments and the video said the same line that you wrote at the same time
      P U R E B U L L S H I T

    • @JDMimeTHEFIRST
      @JDMimeTHEFIRST Год назад +10

      That’s why we pay taxes. 😅

  • @ytn675
    @ytn675 5 лет назад +1763

    This is the only news source I trust.

    • @revolver265
      @revolver265 5 лет назад +40

      I agree. The Onion is remarkably unbiased and it's the only trustworthy news source in this day and age.

    • @retroke6560
      @retroke6560 5 лет назад +4

      Yeah because they don't lie, allways telling the truth

    • @bradbradlylife9918
      @bradbradlylife9918 4 года назад +11

      "I'm an older man, so u can trust me"

    • @havefuntazarasu5367
      @havefuntazarasu5367 4 года назад

      I know cnn fully made of bull shit, but why don't we try to trust it once

    • @DanielA-pq8vv
      @DanielA-pq8vv 4 года назад

      Evan Tazeris Same with Faux news. Even more bullshit.

  • @snipetysniper
    @snipetysniper 4 года назад +4853

    “Nation’s Geologists demand more money for Marijuana research”
    I guess those geologists are a bunch of *Stoners*

  • @stacys3857
    @stacys3857 7 месяцев назад +85

    13 years later, and I long for this level of bullshit today

  • @BluesImprov
    @BluesImprov 6 лет назад +1656

    I recently retired after 40 years as a TV Director. The last 35 years I directed live, local TV newscasts (Eyewitness News at 4, 5, 6, 9, 10). This is SO well done. It's EXACTLY what I dealt with on a daily basis. Producers sitting next to me in the control room shouting "Go to the LIVE shot. . .No wait, take the bear video. . .No, go to the guy in his front yard!' It was a circus behind the scenes, producing the results these guys made fun of so well. Not happy I'm now 68, but SO happy to be "retired" from that daily craziness.

    • @PrinceJes
      @PrinceJes 6 лет назад +42

      BluesImprov
      Haha God bless

    • @autobotrock4789
      @autobotrock4789 6 лет назад +456

      You're an older person so I trust what you're saying.

    • @BluesImprov
      @BluesImprov 6 лет назад +64

      Massa. . .Thanks. . .I'm blessed to finally be able to watch news from afar, and chuckle about knowing what's going on behind the scenes. . .The Onion nailed it!

    • @BluesImprov
      @BluesImprov 6 лет назад +88

      Candice Adams. . .LOL! Oh yeah, now I'm old enough to come out from behind the camera and become a trusted "interviewee". . .Could be the start of a whole new life for me!

    • @lucalinsen2835
      @lucalinsen2835 6 лет назад +68

      Older people in the RUclips comment section are always so wholesome. Have a great day, sir!

  • @CameronThatcher
    @CameronThatcher 5 лет назад +2955

    _I spent my entire life attending the nations most prestigious schools to talk about bullshit like this. I'm really just happy to be on TV_

  • @DanielRamirez-iq3rt
    @DanielRamirez-iq3rt 4 года назад +16961

    The onion was WAY ahead of their time.

    • @facedirt8973
      @facedirt8973 4 года назад +121

      D. Ramirez “Holy shit. Man Lands on the fucking Moon”
      That was the newspaper headline stapled above a cash register in ATL.
      I was a regular patron and learned about TO. Great times

    • @mrp4731
      @mrp4731 4 года назад +394

      No they were very much of their time. It's just the bullshit has got worse, in spite of the warnings.

    • @danielrobertson2154
      @danielrobertson2154 4 года назад +134

      No... For real.. The news in my area literally ran a story about a bear running around the neighborhood and it was almost exactly like this... I had to show my dad this afterwards because he was getting mad at how i was laughing and couldn't coherently explain why.

    • @danielrobertson2154
      @danielrobertson2154 4 года назад +4

      @@monk469 uhhhhhh right?

    • @squamish4244
      @squamish4244 4 года назад +2

      I wonder where they went.

  • @cultmamacultmama3571
    @cultmamacultmama3571 10 месяцев назад +60

    I remember when this happened, and the worst thing is - it's been over a decade now, and bullshit like this is still happening...

    • @TheFalseShepphard
      @TheFalseShepphard 5 месяцев назад +1

      Are you mad about it perhaps?

    • @fayezzles
      @fayezzles 5 месяцев назад +1

      Shocked and appalled. 😂

    • @chronic13131
      @chronic13131 5 месяцев назад +1

      You just dont forget this kind of bullshit, the scars just dont heal.

    • @infantiltinferno
      @infantiltinferno 4 месяца назад

      The scary thing is that children are exposed to this bullshit that's more or less a permanent fixture of existence.

  • @virulentstalker9014
    @virulentstalker9014 4 года назад +3923

    "Let us know if there are any updates on this bullshit story from there."
    "There's no way there will be."
    "Very good, we'll check back with you in an hour anyway."

    • @classonbread5757
      @classonbread5757 4 года назад +384

      I'm just some fucking guy

    • @Shadow77999
      @Shadow77999 4 года назад +24

      Lmfao

    • @rrock2025
      @rrock2025 3 года назад +12

      I heard that part as well.

    • @jacquelinenjeremiahcliff8440
      @jacquelinenjeremiahcliff8440 3 года назад +27

      The older guy omg..
      "I'm older so you can trust what I say" oh onion wtf!!

    • @HowToChangeName
      @HowToChangeName 3 года назад +8

      "when we return, we'll look at live footage of a car chase taken from a helicopter"

  • @ranickhaan
    @ranickhaan 5 лет назад +6361

    Sadly, the satire of The Onion is regularly outdone by actual news on a daily basis.

    • @baconsalad9743
      @baconsalad9743 5 лет назад +67

      and vox, and bussfeed

    • @navidsoleimani2848
      @navidsoleimani2848 5 лет назад +52

      All of'em are garbage

    • @AOitsAO
      @AOitsAO 5 лет назад +23

      navid soleimani Agreed
      All of them

    • @individualsituation6003
      @individualsituation6003 5 лет назад +20

      @@aoterou Umm, actually, Fox can't be bullshit, because they aren't left-wing.

    • @thereisnomeme9258
      @thereisnomeme9258 5 лет назад +119

      @@individualsituation6003 Please tell me you're being sarcastic

  • @pinkamina222
    @pinkamina222 2 года назад +4744

    "I'm am older man so you can trust what i say" is way funnier than it needs to be. every line is just gold 😆

    • @heckzotica
      @heckzotica Год назад +40

      Yeah that one just had me!

    • @megaotstoy
      @megaotstoy Год назад +8

      they actually just quoted Biden without proper reference to POTUS

    • @beastybacon199
      @beastybacon199 11 месяцев назад +17

      @@megaotstoy13 years ago?

    • @megaotstoy
      @megaotstoy 11 месяцев назад +6

      @@beastybacon199 Why not? The Simpsons actually predicted Donald Trump's presidency back in 2000

    • @beastybacon199
      @beastybacon199 11 месяцев назад +2

      @@megaotstoy so true homie

  • @RD3D-2
    @RD3D-2 3 месяца назад +20

    RUclips's algorithms have an uncanny way of zeroing in on my deep-rooted cynicism. This is gold.

  • @MCO18
    @MCO18 9 лет назад +665

    I'm just some fucking guy.

    • @thetrashman3129
      @thetrashman3129 9 лет назад +30

      Swap 'some' and 'fucking' for interesting results

    • @SidheKnight
      @SidheKnight 8 лет назад +1

      +Stewart MacKinnon Cool.

    • @Necroionutwiz
      @Necroionutwiz 6 лет назад

      I'm just some guy fucking some....

  • @SelfBiasedCybernaut
    @SelfBiasedCybernaut 5 лет назад +1859

    I'm so glad RUclips recommended this to me after 9 years. This bullshit was funny.

    • @Th3Siam
      @Th3Siam 5 лет назад +9

      Stop bullshitting

    • @onyxstrata4520
      @onyxstrata4520 5 лет назад +4

      Its bullshit like this that had me laffin my arss right to the floor! Lol, luv that bullshit! Lol

    • @robinpotter963
      @robinpotter963 5 лет назад +4

      I suppose there's a reason why RUclips recommends it for me too. Must be all the bullshit going on.

    • @syev6070
      @syev6070 5 лет назад

      Cyb3r A1i3n What was your fucking reason for saying this? Explain your opinion on this bullshit.

    • @TeddyOG
      @TeddyOG 5 лет назад +1

      I too enjoy bullshit like this to distract from other, worse bullshit

  • @kilted911
    @kilted911 4 года назад +2479

    This applies to everything. Literally everything. Everything.

    • @jesuschristislord77733
      @jesuschristislord77733 4 года назад +8

      Applies to 🎶Oooooooh muh corona🎶 too

    • @Pain-xw1rj
      @Pain-xw1rj 4 года назад +48

      Some of the Corona is bullshit, some of the Corona isn’t bullshit, either way stay in your fucking house or humanity’s going to die.

    • @christophern7921
      @christophern7921 4 года назад +3

      Woosh if gay sounds like bullshit!

    • @viljamtheninja
      @viljamtheninja 4 года назад +1

      Does it apply to apples?

    • @timtam861
      @timtam861 4 года назад

      the saiyan’s fates, my fate, kakarot’s fate and your fate, THIS WILL CHANGE EVERYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!

  • @c0wbait
    @c0wbait 3 месяца назад +10

    This is, without question, one of the greatest videos of all time.

  • @birchtree5884
    @birchtree5884 4 года назад +1221

    The onion is just cable news unfiltered

    • @Bankable2790
      @Bankable2790 4 года назад +8

      You know when you’re tripping and you’re like, “Whoa maybe this is how reality actually is all the time”, this is kind of like that except for the news

    • @terrencecernech2320
      @terrencecernech2320 4 года назад +4

      This clip is more resembling the Network news in that Network news is more Bowlshet.

    •  3 года назад +1

      this is way more like local news lol

  • @Vitorruy1
    @Vitorruy1 5 лет назад +1405

    "porn better than movie it was based on"
    Lol each one of those is gold and they just cram it on the downline like it was nothing.

    • @maxkho00
      @maxkho00 5 лет назад +20

      Each one of those lines is a different shade of gray-t😏

    • @TommyAngelo1337
      @TommyAngelo1337 5 лет назад +9

      It's how they make people watch their videos at least twice and still can come back years later.

    • @ileryon4019
      @ileryon4019 5 лет назад +5

      0:47

  • @shaun9625
    @shaun9625 4 года назад +829

    I felt so relieved when they brought on the random expert.

    • @dimsum1033
      @dimsum1033 2 года назад +45

      Especially since he indicated that he went to school for that shit too. Much needed these days.

    • @mojo9291
      @mojo9291 Год назад +15

      He just wanted to be on tv

  • @Ninsidhe
    @Ninsidhe 5 месяцев назад +8

    “I’m just some fucking guy” is still a brilliant line all these years later as the bullshit continues

  • @dominickbenincasa5043
    @dominickbenincasa5043 5 лет назад +1490

    This is literally how I view most news that isn’t weather related.

    • @zosko1
      @zosko1 5 лет назад +156

      But weather channels have an awful pro weather bias.

    • @dominickbenincasa5043
      @dominickbenincasa5043 5 лет назад +9

      zosko1- lol

    • @booberry6715
      @booberry6715 4 года назад +34

      Even the weather people gin up hysteria for clicks and add revenue. They're as bad as the rest of them.

    • @jetsamperes5762
      @jetsamperes5762 4 года назад +32

      @@booberry6715 Back in the old days TLC had educational programs, MTV played music videos and TWC told us about weather. Now its all just bullshit

    • @zhouwu
      @zhouwu 4 года назад +3

      Isn't the weather just entertainment since they're mostly wrong anyway and you can't sue them or anything because they're just probably right about an area further away from you and whether it is raining or sprinkling is pretty subjective anyway in an argument between two or three little kids which ended with one boy crying over being poked in the heart, which he seemed far more upset about than even getting poked in his eye? And their early reference to higher authority in referencing their own mothers, because, of course, mothers know everything and they are always right, because that's what they tell their kids to believe, isn't it?

  • @dominicdeluca6378
    @dominicdeluca6378 6 лет назад +403

    I love that they straight-up say "lets see if we can drag this out with some shit some ppl say on the internet"

    • @user-fq1ig3uy3q
      @user-fq1ig3uy3q 6 лет назад +8

      That part went over a good number of heads... LOL

  • @mike_a-nite1433
    @mike_a-nite1433 8 лет назад +1201

    And here's some footage of Congress... haha

  • @hawsrulebegin7768
    @hawsrulebegin7768 10 месяцев назад +11

    This never ages. It’s still spot on. Nothing changes. There’s still bullshit happening right now near you.

  • @King0fPeasants
    @King0fPeasants 8 лет назад +2339

    beautiful. a work of art.

  • @corbin4360
    @corbin4360 5 лет назад +540

    "Military awards billion-dollar indoor weapons contract to Nerf"

  • @ananapanana3680
    @ananapanana3680 5 лет назад +256

    "And here's some footage of Congress"
    "Yes I see that" LMAOOO

  • @ryanreedgibson
    @ryanreedgibson 2 месяца назад +6

    I thought this was Fox News! Then I realized they were being honest about the bullsh*t.

  • @TigerOfGermany
    @TigerOfGermany 4 года назад +1819

    I like how the reporter doesn't even read the emails at the end lol

    • @AirmanJH
      @AirmanJH 4 года назад +93

      TigerofGermany That was interpretive reading. Just like the rest of the story.

    • @wsx3268
      @wsx3268 4 года назад +34

      Ozone shutup

    • @armelzer
      @armelzer 4 года назад +22

      @Ozone go back to reddit

    • @urigeheadmot1196
      @urigeheadmot1196 4 года назад +14

      Ozone turn off your computer.

    • @LuisPereira-bn8jq
      @LuisPereira-bn8jq 4 года назад +7

      @Ozone Better go back to training, since that "woooosh" was entirely on you...

  • @fernisaperson
    @fernisaperson 5 лет назад +5624

    Thanks, RUclips. I needed this bullshit 9 years after it was posted
    Edit: holy shit when did I get 5k aight

    • @A1Skeptic
      @A1Skeptic 5 лет назад +75

      @Fernando Perez This bullshit has aged well! 😂

    • @Voodoo_Robot
      @Voodoo_Robot 5 лет назад +11

      I have seen this 10 years ago.

    • @byteresistor
      @byteresistor 5 лет назад +33

      It's because some bullshit is trending right now.

    • @Adrianlovesmusic
      @Adrianlovesmusic 5 лет назад +18

      Fernando Perez shocked by a fairly common thing happening

    • @hiareeb
      @hiareeb 5 лет назад +17

      This is a gem, RUclips was better 9 yrs ago!

  • @DarkBloodurth
    @DarkBloodurth 9 лет назад +768

    This is pure gold. One of the best things that i've see on the internet.

  • @mackisbrocklesnar
    @mackisbrocklesnar 5 месяцев назад +20

    i am old enough to remember the times when we did not have 24 hr news channels. Believe me, now it is less news and more noise.

  • @colinjacobs176
    @colinjacobs176 Год назад +753

    One of the many, many comedic dimensions to this gem is the succinct analysis of the letter writers and the translation of their words into the type of person they are. "I get mad about every bullshit thing I see."

    • @SetTheCurve
      @SetTheCurve 11 месяцев назад +45

      This video is clever on so many levels, and I also was impressed by that line. I have nothing more to add.

    • @MrJTheNobody
      @MrJTheNobody 11 месяцев назад +25

      @@SetTheCurve I also felt a way about a thing that was mentioned and have nothing more to add, but is the type of person to respond anyway.

    • @satansbarman
      @satansbarman 9 месяцев назад +10

      As a person with nothing more to add, I'll just give my bs opinion about the current bs that is being talked about

    • @sclodes
      @sclodes 6 месяцев назад +5

      ​@@SetTheCurveas a tribute to this gem I have been known to drop that line into conversation myself when pontificating about bullshit.

    • @liamchisari2191
      @liamchisari2191 5 месяцев назад +8

      ​@@satansbarmanI don't have anything to add either but I'm convinced my bullshit opinion needs to be heard

  • @Canadianvoice
    @Canadianvoice 4 года назад +566

    "We'll check back with in a hour anyways"
    "I'm just some fuckig guy"

  • @lifeafter79
    @lifeafter79 10 лет назад +222

    "I'm just happy to be on TV." LOL

  • @mugglepower
    @mugglepower 9 месяцев назад +10

    when you realize that onion is not satire but just documentary with a sick sense of humor

  • @GaryElGringo
    @GaryElGringo 3 года назад +1027

    As a former TV news reporter of 10 years, I can confirm this is exactly how the industry operates.

  • @JacobMichael
    @JacobMichael 5 лет назад +207

    “And here’s some footage of Congress” 👏🏻

  • @NFPA-704
    @NFPA-704 5 лет назад +290

    "And here's some footage of Congress!"
    "Yes I see that"

  • @timdowney6721
    @timdowney6721 10 месяцев назад +23

    “I’m an older man, so you can trust what I say.”
    Finally, I’ve reached an age where this comes in VERY handy.😄😄😄

    • @unruly_ronin
      @unruly_ronin 5 месяцев назад +1

      😂😂 Can't wait to take advantage of this myself

  • @eliargumedo4728
    @eliargumedo4728 Год назад +325

    “Now here’s some footage of congress”
    Bro, I’ll be watching the news and it feels like they just put footage of the senate or congress on TV for no reason sometimes

    • @ignis_infinitus_infernus
      @ignis_infinitus_infernus Год назад +23

      They do that so when they put the video on RUclips from TV they can have the tag politics......
      Maybe.....I'm just some fucking guy.

    • @Mercedesxoo
      @Mercedesxoo Год назад +2

      Its called juxtaposition

    • @irurwurst
      @irurwurst Год назад +8

      ​@@ignis_infinitus_infernus When we return we'll look at live footage of a news outlet cutting to a view of congress, and free-associate about what's going on.

    • @immortalsun
      @immortalsun Год назад +5

      @@ignis_infinitus_infernus You think their video will get taken down if they don’t have footage of Congress but has the politics tag?

  • @OldeScrumpy
    @OldeScrumpy 5 лет назад +145

    "I'm an older man, so you can trust what I say"
    -Walder Frey

  • @Proclifo
    @Proclifo 8 лет назад +448

    "Nation's geologists demand more money for marijuana research"
    Now that is a news story I want to see

    • @greenthizzle4
      @greenthizzle4 6 лет назад +6

      ProClifo that's exactly what I'm saying, lol geologists studying weed

    • @Skilliard
      @Skilliard 6 лет назад +67

      I mean, they are stoners

    • @Raiman099
      @Raiman099 6 лет назад +5

      ProClifo holy shit. What are the odds that I found a JV member here!

    • @MybeautifulandamazingPrincess
      @MybeautifulandamazingPrincess 5 лет назад +4

      Randy from South Park after weed became legal in Colorado

    • @kcufeht5795
      @kcufeht5795 5 лет назад

      There are only so many Doritos and not enough water. They have to buy those valuable resources before they run out. Like my hair products. Let's go live, to the checkout counter. Hey, Steve. There seems to be a very cold man ahead of our stoner rock people trying to gather paper to burn for warmth. Let's watch in amusement as he pistol whips a teenager who really shouldn't be working this shift at this hour. Ooo, I really can't say whose job out of our three sucks more, Steve. My tone means I'm trying to convince you I'm a good person even though I laughed, Eric. When he gets up, ask him if his bleeding means he's injured. Let's go back to Heather with her big tits so we can be rained on in two days. Thanks, Steve. I'm really horny from people staring today, but here's this green map. There are not actually that many trees but we didn't color it anything else so we could use the color to subliminally make people not move away from this strong feeling of dedication to irrational causes and general isolation of individuals. My clothes cost so much that I'm skipping the next two days of work because I'll have nothing to wear. Try to listen to what I'm saying just before I banter with you so we aren't both fired. Pedro, hide from the camera, the trash doesn't walk. Oh shit, the herd of immigrants we filmed detained earlier includes his wife of twenty years.

  • @markb6506
    @markb6506 8 месяцев назад +19

    oh man his delivery of "I'm just some fucking guy" at 1:45 killed me

  • @K1NGDOMCRASHER
    @K1NGDOMCRASHER 9 лет назад +258

    Nobody cares, but my teacher showed this to our class as part of a Mass Media (&media literacy) course 1106, I love it.

    • @snicker12
      @snicker12 6 лет назад +17

      Some people care

    • @mr.benedict7671
      @mr.benedict7671 5 лет назад +26

      I care Mr. 4 Year Old comment person.

    • @kcufeht5795
      @kcufeht5795 5 лет назад +4

      Learning's fun.

    • @fluffyhoitydino
      @fluffyhoitydino 5 лет назад +2

      👌

    • @MacroAggressor
      @MacroAggressor 5 лет назад +2

      @@mr.benedict7671 I care too. Let's all show neglected dead posts that we care about them.

  • @RvB_Fan_since_8
    @RvB_Fan_since_8 Год назад +552

    This is truly ageless, I bet in 10 years this video will still be accurate to what the news is.

    • @8bit_cat72
      @8bit_cat72 Год назад +12

      It's accutate now.

    • @kwhyland
      @kwhyland Год назад +21

      It’d be more accurate if it left viewers seething in rage from an editorialized narrative, spun with the explicit purpose of politically galvanizing the fearful populace into one of two radicalized camps.

    • @sylviaalger4917
      @sylviaalger4917 Год назад

      @@kwhylandspot on!

    • @richardadamson1438
      @richardadamson1438 11 месяцев назад +1

      It's extremely accurate now.

    • @MrJTheNobody
      @MrJTheNobody 11 месяцев назад +4

      "now"... not sure what part of "ageless" was hard to comprehend but here we are.

  • @bvitytwrbq
    @bvitytwrbq 5 лет назад +1476

    I have a feeling that they add so much cursing to make it a surely obvious joke - cuz otherwise it’d be way too convincing even with the lines as they are

    • @karenramnath9993
      @karenramnath9993 5 лет назад +11

      bvitytwrbq I wish they didn’t though...

    • @blackog7820
      @blackog7820 5 лет назад +27

      Oh, yes. I had thought it was real before I seen "some cops doing nothing".

    • @filipedias7284
      @filipedias7284 4 года назад +1

      They don't usually do so tho

    • @vodkawhisperer3923
      @vodkawhisperer3923 4 года назад +3

      Wdym this vid is straight from tv

    • @jfish032
      @jfish032 4 года назад +1

      😂 great point

  • @SomnGames
    @SomnGames 2 месяца назад +3

    this is golden era The Onion's masterpiece

  • @ToocoolSkeletor
    @ToocoolSkeletor 5 лет назад +211

    "I talked to this random expert who told me about things you are going hear him say right after he points to a piece of paper"

  • @yenzyhebron5278
    @yenzyhebron5278 6 лет назад +182

    Watch this without audio and you wouldn't question reality

    • @PaleBlueDott
      @PaleBlueDott 5 лет назад +14

      I did and I can confirm that it feels like any real news. I could lip-read some of the funny shit that was said, however, which broke the illusion, albeit momentarily.

    • @avandurion
      @avandurion 5 лет назад +1

      underrated comment ;p

    • @patrickblackwell777
      @patrickblackwell777 5 лет назад +2

      You're right, except then I noticed the ridiculous stories on the bottom feed 😂

  • @hanscakestealer8546
    @hanscakestealer8546 8 лет назад +5019

    Had to double check if I was watching CNN or not

    • @DejiDigital
      @DejiDigital 8 лет назад +171

      fox news came to mind 1st

    • @DynamicoDesigns
      @DynamicoDesigns 8 лет назад +200

      CNN for sure. FOX a very close second, but they are all one and the same....

    • @zimriel
      @zimriel 8 лет назад +339

      There's never any bullshit on the channel I watch. The bullshit always happens on the channel my political opponents watch.

    • @kalevader
      @kalevader 8 лет назад +144

      MSNBC is leftwing "journalism" Fox is rightwing "journalism" and CNN is just bullshit.

    • @MajesticSkywhale
      @MajesticSkywhale 8 лет назад +42

      lol wtf Jeff? Mainstream media this year has been part of the literal worst and most bullshit attempt at a smear campaign against Trump that has EVER happened in American history!

  • @lordsiomai
    @lordsiomai 10 месяцев назад +13

    This is so accurate it could literally act as a template for a news teleprompter script

  • @warriorcrab1319
    @warriorcrab1319 6 лет назад +156

    I keep coming back here every few months, this is pure art and I love it.

  • @ClarenceCM3
    @ClarenceCM3 10 лет назад +193

    0:29 "I'm an older man, so you can trust what I say!" LMAO!!

  • @Mydickinyoursister
    @Mydickinyoursister 5 лет назад +607

    The title pretty much sums up American living on a daily basis.

    • @wehweh3
      @wehweh3 5 лет назад +25

      Naw this is the entire planet in general.

    • @tribot_leader
      @tribot_leader 5 лет назад +5

      wehweh except Europe, in Europe it’s just terrorist attacks or some shitty law the EU is pasing

    • @EaterofWorlds-DN
      @EaterofWorlds-DN 5 лет назад +2

      @@kk7420 Oh yeah? Where do you live?

    • @geico105
      @geico105 5 лет назад +14

      You have completely missed the point if that's all you took away from this video. No matter where you live, there will always be bullshit happening somwhere at any time of day.

    • @individualsituation6003
      @individualsituation6003 5 лет назад +3

      @@tribot_leader You seem highly informed of Europe's geopolitical bullshit. I'm impressed. Did you write a bullshit book on that bullshit?

  • @Clarissa-rain
    @Clarissa-rain 6 месяцев назад +7

    This is gold. Bring back the golden content its been far far toooo longgggg

  • @zaori2785
    @zaori2785 5 лет назад +246

    this is a very accurate representation of todays news.

  • @darrellhart8129
    @darrellhart8129 5 лет назад +155

    Every time someone posts about a bear sighting in my area I link this.

  • @Godzillarex
    @Godzillarex 3 года назад +1398

    I used to binge watch these Onion News videos constantly back in college haha

    • @Tricia_K
      @Tricia_K 3 года назад +31

      Now I'm binge-watching them in my 40's!

    • @XboxGamersAndMore
      @XboxGamersAndMore 3 года назад +18

      exactly my situation right now

    • @robertloveall4842
      @robertloveall4842 3 года назад +1

      @@XboxGamersAndMore same

    • @jacquelinenjeremiahcliff8440
      @jacquelinenjeremiahcliff8440 3 года назад +2

      Binging now. ...beacause at leaste this b.s is fictional bs..hence not sad b.s ty onion ..though some of these are seriously just a bunch of fing b.s ..and creepy b.s at that. Maybey we need b.s or are getting b.s whether we want it..or not
      What a bunch of bullshit

    • @jacquelinenjeremiahcliff8440
      @jacquelinenjeremiahcliff8440 3 года назад

      Lol

  • @HighOverlordSnarffieBeagle
    @HighOverlordSnarffieBeagle 5 месяцев назад +6

    I miss these, I wish they still made them. The Future News was the absolute best.

  • @dondreytaylor8001
    @dondreytaylor8001 8 лет назад +130

    "Some say its because of one fucking reason. Others say its because of some other fucking reason" ....hahahahaha

    • @TERRY72763
      @TERRY72763 7 лет назад

      One is the search for food,,, the other is over Construction, encroachment upon their domain

    • @lllHABITATlll
      @lllHABITATlll 6 лет назад

      Dondrey Taylor "we have a colored graph that shows the rise of bullshit like this happening,"

  • @MustraOrdo
    @MustraOrdo 6 лет назад +145

    "I'm really just happy to be on tv"😂😂😂😂

    • @weareallbornmad410
      @weareallbornmad410 5 лет назад +2

      In my experience, most experts don't dream of being shown on tv. But I guess some do :)

  • @dustinnukem5458
    @dustinnukem5458 5 лет назад +838

    The onion is what I use to watch for a laugh to get away from the "real" news. Now I just watch "real" news and laugh.

    • @alvallac2171
      @alvallac2171 5 лет назад +18

      *used to (past tense)

    • @dustinnukem5458
      @dustinnukem5458 5 лет назад +24

      @@alvallac2171 glad to know you could figure out what I said. Next time I will get out the thesorus or is it spelled someways or some way else. I am sure nobody could figure out wut I is sayin without u. Surry for all the Grammer mistakes I am the idiut not u'$.

    • @fgdbbddhhdhdj1591
      @fgdbbddhhdhdj1591 5 лет назад +3

      *what I am saying(bad enlish)

    • @kj6053
      @kj6053 5 лет назад +5

      Dustin Nukem
      They just corrected your spelling, why are you offended??

    • @kionisua8564
      @kionisua8564 5 лет назад +3

      I just get depressed with real news.
      But NPR ain't so bad. To me at least. Still kinda bums out with how bad things are going across the world but its just reality

  • @bsdpowa
    @bsdpowa 4 месяца назад +4

    this aged like fine wine