Passive Reciprocation: 5 Ways We Soothe Our Ego to Cope With Rejection
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- Опубликовано: 29 ноя 2024
- Hi, my Angels! Today's video is about passive reciprocation and the many ways that we choose to cope with rejection. We are all so guilty of this! Let me know what other video topics you would like to see below!
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HI ANGELS!!!!!! AHHHH im backkkkkkkkkkkk!!!!!!! THUMBS UP if you like my natural haiiiirrr ahhhh!!!!! Watch this video till the end and I know you're a true Angel
You just saved my life because I was just one step to stalking my ex's IG. THANK YOU😙
Popping 😍
Yesss. I spent the whole video thinking how much I loved your hair in this 😍
You’re welcome 😉
Thankyou☺️
These men be knowing your worth ... they just hope you don’t
Men treat Women like they think they DESERVE to be treated. 😉Got it ladies!
You said a billion words right there 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽💗
AMEN. So you be sure to let them know you know!! How?? Keep the Cookie in the JAR! 😉
Exactly!
Super Amen!
hetero men literally have the capacity to date you for 6 years then be like "actually nvm" and waste some of the best years of your youth. DONT GET PLAYED.
@BJ22 God bless your parents and their marriage I guess the guy in my situationship for 4 years already knew I was just his toy
@BJ22 I'll never make the same mistake again. And he was my boyfriend, which makes it even worse. I was a fool lmao
Annette Celia Rosemary my aunt is in a “relationship” with a dude that’s not even her boyfriend no nothing but she still stays he wasted about 6 years of her life now I just think it’s worse if the guy is wasting your times for many years and he isn’t even your boyfriend to me that’s worse
Facts
girls do it too tho.
The first rule of love is to learn to love yourself, if you cannot love yourself, you cannot love anybody
Learned this with Ru Paul
Yup 👏🏾
100%👌❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Bars!!!
Amen
Not everyone deserves that side of you. We do too much for the wrong people. Facts 😫
So true
Preach i needed it
We give toooo much without expecting anything in return. Relationships are 50/50!
Very true
Honestly
"you're either being played with or planned with" OMFG
Yesssss!!
A word !!
"I don't want who doesn't want me" Yes sis! We are no longer settling for less than we deserve. Period
I have learned to block men when I am sick of seeing their face. Literally online. My block game is strong. Once I block I don't go back and unblock or peek to see what he's doing. Focus on yourself ladies.
I block but can't help to peek when I'm bored
@@jullierose blocking is some highschool shit. just ghost him. it hurts more.
@@miguelmejia4656 blocking is a part of ghosting 🤣 lol
@@miguelmejia4656 ghosting lmaao just shows you are a bitter person
This is why you need to protect that precious cookie, only give it to those who are worth is. Guys out here can be shady and don’t deserve to know you on that level until proven.
Till i see a 50 karat gold ring on my finger 😂
Until then😎he can help himself out or leave 😌
Make them marry you, but only if they are worth it. Even if they put an engagement ring on it and you let your guard down, they can still start showing out. Then your heart and emotions are truly invested and it will be more difficult.
💍🔒
“I don’t want who doesn’t want me” A WORD. I feel like as SOON as I took on that mentality, my (now) boyfriend came into my life. Been together almost 3 years! When it TRULY clicks, your life changes 🙌🏽
saw this tweet on twitter :
"As much as I wanted that bond, idc about it anymore.
Be safe. Do you"
I felt that
I agree with this tweet except the be safe part . Don’t care if they are safe or not . Couldn’t care
He probably called her and she went back. Writing the tweet alone screams that she cares.
he's not interested in me. it is what it is. but i love me... so xx
Keep loving you
This hurt to hear but it’s true, and knowing this is the only way the pain will go away. Logic is the key to becoming emotionally stronger
🗣🗣🗣🗣🗣💯💯💯💯💯💯
I was engaged within three months of being with him for him to recently tell me that he does not know why hes no longer interested in me. He stated he only wanted to be my friend and that he needed a friend bc he needs to get himself together. I told him no. It has been difficult not contacting him, but I keep reminding myself that I deserve better ❤🙏🏾
Good. It's not your job to be waiting for him to fix himself.
Stay strong 💪 You deserve a real man!
Danielle Ridgeway hugs dear.
Believe in you. Learn from it. Take responsibility for even tolerating idiots. He showed u who he is, believe him.
@@cr4228 thanks
Can we talk about her pretty she looks here?? ❤
awww thank you!!!!
She's always pretty 😊
The ghosting step is so real!! That hurts on another level when they dont care
I live for asha's sense of humor "if a guy says hes not ready for a relationship the with you is silent"
This video is so timely
this is alcohol to a deep wound. feel the burn oooh 😭
OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH this one hit me RIGHT in the TRUTH BONE
Gabriela, you're extremely hot
Meee tooo
The Truth Bone! Woo! Amen! 😂😂😂
🤣🤣🤣
This also applies with friendships, y’all. 💯
Exactly !!!!!!!!!!!!
YES, that is so true!
its the “ARE YOU WELL?” question for me😂😭😭😭
It's better to just be single permanently basically anymore. Better than being cheated on and being a placeholder. One person just isn't good enough anymore for the guys today.
But it is for women? I’m a guy and the only one in my relationships who has been cheated on, y’all are no different
This is true asf better off just not risking it, men these days are insane
WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?!! 😭😭
Officially stopped talking to my ex after like 3+ years of knowing him. We'd be on and off with our relationship/friendship and i told myself a million times I was leaving but never did. Today is the day I finally cut him off forever. I don't really know how to feel right now but it's for the best. He was so toxic and such a horrible person at times. I honestly feel like he is a narcissist.
update?
same for me todayy
You will be ok
anytime i feel tempted to text a guy after he never responded, i delete the number right away! it helps me and it is a great thing to throw away.
Sis. Based off the title alone, I knew you were going to be coming for me...
And damn, you don't even know how much I needed this. 💯
Awww I’m glad!!!!!!
Same!
I never pretend to ghost. I just ghost when I have decided this mzn is not investing at all in me. And why stay with someone who does not value you?
I will break my own heart if I just walk away from this friendship, he is such a good person, but after 18 months we should be somewhere together and we just aren't. I keep hitting the same wall. THANK YOU ASHA FOR BEING SO CLEAR. I am twice your age, I should know better! I just got comfortable and thought one day, maybe one day, he'd wake up and see that what we have is worth investing in for the future. For me it is, for him it just isn't. I'm so hurt and feeling rejected. He's just not the right one for me, I need to let this friendship go and seek what it is I really want with someone who wants me just the same. My heart is breaking. I can hardly finishing typing this because I can't see through the tears.
Sis you need to walk away if they don’t know that u are worth it more then 3 months that man ant’s for u man do know who will be their wife for just 1 months so u better woke away and know your worth and somebody who will have you will not have to question to take your relationship to the next level for 18 months. Love yourself and know your worth. 💕
@@shakilashamila6973 l am feeling you.l too am trying to get the courage to walk away. Thank you for sharing and dont cry
LaRetta Black I pray you get the courage to walk away but if u love yourself more you won’t ever question yourself be bless💕
I feel you. So much. We got this. ❤
I understand how you feel completely 😭😭🤗
When you said a guy saying they don’t want😔 to be in a relationship right now but the with you is silent 🤐that shit hit so hard because someone did that to be 3 years ago and 3 months later he was in a full blown relationship with someone he did not know for that long but you living and you learn🌺🌺🌺✌🏾
I feel you this happpend to me I was in a situationship for 2 years and then I saw him making out with someone else and he had done that before...I just made excuses or tried to change him but he didn’t and once I stopped talking to him 2 months later he got into a relationship/:
"Keep a roster" Girl.. I like one dude every every like 5 - 10 years. I don't catch feelings easy and I don't like casual. Siiiiiigh.
Adrian Daniels Same sis same.... it’s hard to find someone I like every few years
@@shanicew7165 samme
'i dont want who doesnt want me'
yes
I got out of my first and only situationship a year ago... and this still hurts to hear... I’m further on my journey now than I was then but sometimes I still feel like discovering my own worth was/is the hardest thing I ever had to do. I’m at it daily... and I still falter.
I'm trying to face it now 😫😫 it's so hard. And unfortunately life will put you in situations that hurt you and hurt you until you realise your worth
Just “accidentally “ ghosted my most recent boyfriend lol deleted his number and blocked him. Didn’t realize I never memorized his number until I was about to double back. Thank God!
I just wanna cry while watching this 😔
I hope you’re in a better space now.
Monogamy is for relationships, if they're single, they don't get monogamy
“ARE YOU WELL”
My favorite part
Sorry to myself today, I’ve asked my ex to be friends everything you stated. I am going ghost for good. He may not care but that is okay, because I am tired of the rejection.
Ladies loving our self is the most important thing. I learned the hard way that loving anyone more than loving myself is going to give me a lot of heartaches. Thank you so much Asha for your helpful videos. It really helps especially to people like me who is trying to make my life better by prioritizing my self over any guy quitting putting any guy on a pedestal.
I know this isn’t a personal attack , but it definitely feels that way because you just read me for fiiiiiiiiilllllttthh! 😅
Guys think if they lie they will be rejected right away, but in actuality there are women that will accept him regardless of his circumstance😕
Not even 5 min in & im screaminggg how cringe I was portraying this exact same behavior. Ready & excited to move on and move forward towards true acceptance of myself
Yess I've seen so many of my friends do stuff like this I've definitely elicited responses as well but if a man is not pursuing you he doesnt want you. It's in a mans biological nature to pursue so if thats not happening move on! No matter what we do as women he will not want us they way we want him.
I pretended to ghost someone and he literally blocked me on everything 😭😭😭
Girl it wasn't meant to be. Truly he sounds immature. How is she immature when he could have communicated back instead of letting his ego get in the way if he was really serious about getting to know her but I guess. A simple hope all is well since I haven't heard from you would be a start. Now if she ghosted him again then that just immature. I'm done with my essay.😅
Ouch! Chin up girl... god/ the universe/ etc just moved him out of your way for the right one.
The universe is trying to help I out. Sometimes we don’t understand till later on. Believe something better is coming. Ask for exactly what you want 💗
Talima Nln same. Lmao he got me
@@Chinathomas_ she pretended yo ghost n he's immature...🤣🤣🤣 wow narcisstic
Omg guilty of the “just friends” 1 year of “Friends with benefits” only because he was emotionally unavailable worst damn experience of my life. Never again!
On your A game as always. It took me 6 months “dating” (situationship) a manipulative narcissist to realize, you just can’t make men who don’t care about you, care about you. Even after all the breadcrumbing, you’ll always be left hungry. No time for that! ILY ❤️
Men get with who they CAN and Women get with who they WANT” 🙌 TRUUU.
I find myself saying "Are you Well??" often nowadays lol.
I feel dragged.. but I definitely needed it. LOL
Hit too close to home huh? Lmao
I’m in my late 40’s so relationships and marriage (been there done that) is at the very bottom of my list.. but for those of you desiring to be in that status quo.. I have a piece of advice.. ask yourself this.. (metaphorically speaking) would you put so much of your investment into something that gives you a temporary energy? Like rehabbing a home , making it luxurious but end up putting it out on section 8?... believe me when I say, invest into what is being invested in you.
Do you have a cat
Adding this video to favorites so I can come back and remind myself to walk away if I ever get caught up doing the same things again 😭😭
You saved me!!! I noticed some breadcrumb action and cut communication with dude. But I started to wonder if I was too harsh and alllllmooooost reached out. Thank you for snapping me back!
Your natural hair looks AMAZING! You should wear it more often, just beautiful 💖
Thank you ☺️
You can always tell the difference between someone who wants to be with you and someone who just wants you.
Bingo! Exactly ;)
Wow..
Your face is a breath of fresh air 💖
Awww thank you ☺️
the title was already roasting me this is gonna be a long ride. let me clean my ears out to hear better
😂😂😂😂
😂😂
😂😂😂
The circle inside a square analogy hit me soooooooo hard omg. Essssential. That's why we should never give our all to prove something. If you have to prove something it's over already.
“I don’t want who doesn’t want me”. Yes hun! I genuinely lose interest immediately. I’ll admit..that mentality didn’t happen overnight. Took lots of self-loving! Now, ANY sign of disinterest is an immediate turn off. Dust. Bc its simple..Men know and show! Period.
I was sooo confused n asked god to recommend me a video. This video was on top.
"We have to wait to have a conversation about becoming anything more serious." But we didn't have to have a conversation before you saw me naked. Every man on the freaking planet.
I was randomly recommended this video and somehow ended up watching the whole thing.. this is rare.*subscribes*
Welcome to the A team Angel 😇
Like she said, men know whether, as a woman you're special or just keeping you around until what he wants comes along.
Ladies, no game playing involved. Just remain feminine, and learn to receive. Be less. Follow his lead, don't do more, than he.
Going through a breakup and I cannot tell you how much ur videos are helping me. Love you so much
Love you too☺️
I love how blunt you are ❤️
Guys pull the sympathy card to elicit responses and guilt trips to emotionally play us and it’s beta. Clean breaks and “dropping the mic” is the best strategy when you’re not fulfilled.
Giiiirl you're a blessing to me! I ticked all these boxes and it's sinking in that I'm playing with myself here. This level of confusion and overthinking is not acceptable, at MY BIG AGE! No more. It's over, sis. All the women in me are TIRED. God bless and thank you 💕
“Making someone want to care more will do the exact opposite.. it’s going to make them care less!” UUUUUHHHHHH SSSSOOO TRUUUUE!!!
This video is the voice of intuition, all the things it tries to say. I have learned a lot in life and I am saying it, she speaks the truth. Why do we as women make ourselves monogamous to people we aren't in relationships with, it's better that we see other people and take off those blinders that causes us to only see them. Unless they always shower us with attention and love, what are we doing?
Girllll...my EGO 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️ Is my biggest enemy 🤦🏽♀️💯 IM WORKING ON IT 🤦🏽♀️🤦🏽♀️
The only thing he’s benefiting from is your lack of boundaries- thank you! That is exactly what I needed today. You are wise and inspiring.
Your natural hair looks good on you
Thanks 😊
Asha we missed you 😭💛
I missed you guys too!!!!!
ughhhhh I needed this video so much😭😭😭 pretending to ghost is def my toxic trait ☹️
Just got out of a friends with benefits on Wednesday. I know it was for the best. I have some moments when I feel uneasy bc I think of him. Had to let it go... starting my self love journey ❤️
I love the analogy with the square and the circle. It's also pretty comforting, because it shows that it doesn't necessarily mean you did something wrong, often it just means you're not compatible and someone else than him is meant for you. There's nothing you can do about it.
I'm 23 right now and only had once a situation where I initiated the contact to a guy that I liked who also flirted with me. We went out two times (nothing intimate happened, just talking), but then he told me that he's not looking for a relationship right now because he still has feelings for someone else that are pretty complicated. And that he's pretty flirty by nature.
So at least he had the decency to tell me a direct reason and open up about his current situation.
But I was still hurt because I liked him a lot.
Naive that I was, I made the mistake that I wanted to stay friends with him, so I asked him if he'd like to hang out one last time before he leaves to his semester abroad. I guess I thought that I would be okay with just being friends, because I just wanted to see and talk to him one last time. I regret thinking that way.
What happened? On the same day we initially planned to meet, he texted me and wrote that he'd like to "cuddle". I replied "Well you're still in love with someone else, so I won't go any further than really just cuddling". And then he suddenly bailed. Yeah.
I mean, I guess I still dodged a bullet, because right when I made it clear that I won't sleep with him and that I'm not really comfortable with being intimate with him, he didn't want to see me anymore whatsoever. So who knows what would have happened if we actually met up one last time. But it still hurt like hell. It was an important lesson about guys and dating that I had to learn and your video confirms this so well.
If he's interested, you'll know. You can show flirty signals, but still let him come to you. If you're the one who always has to initiate, something isn't right. You shouldn't even feel like you have to initiate in the first place if he's actually into you. This is the advice I'm going to follow from now on :)
Not that I resent men, not at all, but next time I'm seeing someone, I'm going to be more perceptive and if he says he's not ready for a relationship (with me), I'll believe him and just let him go and walk away, even if it hurts.
Why would you even be interested in someone who's not interested in you? I need to get this carved into my soul so I won't ever forget this mindset.
There are so many people in my life who love and care about me and I didn't really have to run after them and convince them that I'm worthy of being liked.
If you already feel like you constantly have to prove yourself to him that you're "worthy of his love" so he'll eventually be interested in you one day, it's already all wrong.
Great advice, Asha! Even if you often take the tough love approach, I can tell it's because you truly care about women and their broken hearts.
Currently my situation and I feel like giving up..I was butt hurt at first because I’m so used to being chased and now I feel like I’m doing the chasing which is embarrassing but I really like him and I keep telling myself I’m better than that but in the back of my head I’m planning on what do to next to get his attention smh
Cut him off girl!
Do nothing but let him go.
THE VOLUME IN THIS BUS IS ASTRONOMICAL SIS you called my ASSS OUT okayyyy. Thank u tho, you’re magical. Needed this. Sending all my love
LOVEEEE your sense of humour !!
Thank youuuuu the gworls that get it get it☺️
i think the having no sex or fooling around until absolutely sure helps a lot and makes it worth it in the end
ive been talking with a guy from tinder, but the more i got to know him, the more he seemed way too clingy, "good morning" every day, "Miss you" (miss me why lol we have never met)...i read his last msg (miss you) and didnt reply, i just didnt know what to reply to a stranger telling me he misses me if all we had was superficial chat...
"are you well" had me dead everytime!!!!
You literally scare me. Your timing is so fucking relatable 😭😭❤️❤️ I love you alot asha
ahhhhhh ☺️ I love you too!!!
I think I personally have grown a lot through this channel and through some others that now some of these videos actually aren't even me anymore. Like I actually find videos where it's stuff I did way back when but I can't relate to now. There's some that I still have mistakenly done and this channel helps me pull back into sanity. Some of the videos I watch just as I don't know some sort of review. Thank you for your huge contribution in my growth and many other women's.
Awww you’re very welcome ☺️
Hey Asha! I am one of your OG Angels! When I started watching your videos, I was a pick me and the things you would advise against would make me angry because you were low-key speaking to me in every one of your videos and I still subscribed to your channel. Almost a year ago, I made the decision to take myself seriously and started applying your advice to my life and now I feel so much better about myself and I even worry when you don't post a new video because I know it will change my life in one way or the other. Thank you so much for these relatable videos. I see myself in all your videos and now I don't get mad at you advising us, I apply the change where it needed and continue working on being the best possible version of myself. I am a beautiful, intelligent 20 year old from South Africa and so happy to be part of the A-team
Awwww Omgosh Angel thank you for sharing this! I’m so happy that you were able to grow and I know you will continue to better yourself! We are all on this journey together ♥️
Girl the title speaks to my soul 😂
See thru me then sis!!! Yea this confirms Imma just stay single!!! The dating pool is tainted AF!!! Too many games...imma learn it tho!! Just don't want no more parts of it!!
Homegirl is BACK! missed you! ✨
missed you too!!!!
Jajajaja I love that '' are you well?''😂💅
Even though this video seems more for women, I felt the need to comment because a lot of what was said here has applied to me and I've gotten the same treatment from women. I've gotten the same "I'm not ready for a relationship (with you)" so many times only to end up seeing them next week, heck, even sometimes a day or two later with someone. I'm in my late 30s now and I just got that response about two months ago. The reason I stumbled across this video is because I needed to remember and get through the rejection. Whoever needs to hear it, I know it hurts. But you can't make someone want you who just doesn't want you. Let them go. Work on yourself, keep talking to people, don't let it hinder any progress you've been making and keep taking steps forward. But you have to let them go. If you're like me, you've cut people off before or simply let them drift off. It doesn't get easier, I just learned to handle it a bit better.
Ughhhh I so needed this 🤦🏽♀️
Hey Asha, can you make a video on whether we actually like someone or are just looking for validation from them? Like I know there are differences but it’s hard to spot them!
Yes that what I been trying to get answered.
How do you not know if you like someone? It’s easy to tell. You can’t wait to see them, talk to them, you feel happy when you’re together, you want to learn everything about them, etc.
Wanting validation is all about your ego and is selfish. You want to feel wanted, admired, etc. it has nothing to do with him as a person but what he can do for you
I am in the same spot !!!
You’ve just killed so many demons 🙌🏾 💗
I feel like you're now truly showing who you are, and I'm liking that personality. Enjoyed the video
Glad I seen this video. My ex and I just ended our first real relationship which lasted for two years and a half. It hurts me so much and I would go ghost hoping that he’ll miss me but I don’t think he does. The last time I seen him, he wouldn’t let me go through his phone and he told me he was trying to hurt me because he thought I didn’t care about him anymore... I don’t understand how men work 😑 if you want me back all you have to do is show me, not pretend to take someone on a date to hurt my feelings
I love the sidebar with everything written out. Thanks for all you do for us
Ok this video angered me on so many levels. Reason being I have been in this situation before. I have done this and it has not worked, like I ghosted this guy for a month and then I come back and this dude was like hey how have you been and I was like dude did you not even notice I was gone? So ladies take it from someone who has done this, it is not for us it doesn't work ok it's not in our nature we can't do it cause all that happened is that I ended up looking like a damn fool! We have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.
Amen
Lol that's cos men are genuinely talking to atleast 2-3 other girls plus more simultaneously.
it is so amazing to hear all these as a woman almost 29 and been there it all. did all of these for guys who would NEVER. EVER change and I'm thankfully at a point I am so financially and even emotionally enough for myself that at this point, I only have strict standards for the one that will be strong enough to match them and say "I'm putting in the work, I want you"
cause, listen, I have played all the games and did everything for those that weren't worth it, and I'm worth the best with everything I am waiting to offer in return.
I wish every high quality woman a man that will match him.
amazing video, Asha!
This video was right on time! Going through this foolishness right now and didn't even realize it. I'm out no matter how much it hurts!
This was posted on my birthday and I was going through hurt from being ghosted. Thank you! 💐
This is my favorite topic, you without knowing are my mentor and coach lifeee love you Asha ❤❤❤❤❤
Awww love you too ♥️
19:45
You cba always speak up if a man treats you nasty, you don't need to be his gf, I am convinced.
Just using feeling statements and putting your feelings out there, like feeling confused, upset or uncomfortable. That's feminine and also puts your boundaries out there. And if he ignores that, we'll then he is really not a good fit.
What do you think?