As a relatively young person in the family I am often asked during family gatherings what happened to dating and relationships why are majority of you youngsters single now? I often don't know what to say because it's a long story with multiple different factors. I think your video is a great summary of what the problems of dating are currently. It's pretty balanced and at least you didn't say it's men's fault like a lot of others did. So I think this is a good video to send to those people who ask "what happened to dating".
It's far more womans issues (feminism is a feminine ideology made to cater to women, and women bought in hard) and it's not most men's jobs to fix that, it's smart women's jobs to fix that shit, they won't listen to men anyway, we either lawfare it out of public discussion or have e women fight it ideologically with another feminine ideology that actually benefits women (and not feminists).
And either way, a lot of men are already fighting feminism that's what red pill is about, it's about recognition of the roots of some of the issues (things like hypergamy, dating apps, hook up culture, etc) and the willingness for men to step away and from stepping away wake women up and talking about how both men and women can fix the problem, men by going thier own way, and improving themselves, and women by recognizing feminism is toxic, hypergamy and feminine bullying is stopping them from finding partners, and that sleeping around isnt doing anything good for them. All of that is redpill
Graduated as a undergrad one weekend and got married the next weekend. I was 23 she was 33 been married 30+ years. Lost her to Alzheimer's/ dementia. We were loyal to each other the entire time. Now I am starting all over. God I miss my best friend, my wife.
What a beautiful marriage and I’m so sorry for your loss 🙏🏻 I’ve lost quite a few family members to Alzheimer’s and it is brutal. I’m wishing you much love and peace of mind on the road ahead my friend ♥️
@@ronifouks Why should men pay from first date.. Why dont women make men sandwich from the first date.. Or give him a BJ on first date.. You seem like a gynocentric women..or women first mentality
@@davedsilva Appreciate the idea. I am 58. So am I just looking at a 40+ virgins. Would be very interesting to understand why she is a virgin. FYI My wife / soulmate was married before before I married her. Absolutely the best thing ever for my life. Thanks for an idea, had not thought about it.
@@TheDWZemkeVirginity is necessary these days for pair bonding, otherwise it's just your turn. I'm around your age, and was surprised 20 year old virgins look to me seriously, driven by their fantasizing for a daddy-husband. But I only rotate 20 year old 304s where they love being side chicks to avoid ruining any good girl. The key is to talk Chad romance novel scenes like 50 Shades and they go nuts. Be the Chad Gentleman.
You mentioned men should pay on the first date. My 2c. Dating with regards to restaurants etc has only really been around since the 1950s. Men paying for it really just started from that point. Prior to that courting was much more about reciprocation. A man would visit a woman's household but he would also be given a meal and a demonstration of how well she could manage a household, A man would be expected to show how well he could manage his life. For example he might bring the meat for the meal a woman prepares, if he was a blacksmith he would bring something he had made etc. What's missing in today's dating is that act of reciprocation. I take a woman on a date, I pay yet I get nothing in return. That first date sets up the basis for the rest of the relationship. Responsibility without reward or authority. Now I am NOT saying the reward should be sex. But ladies, if you do not show reciprocation, you are not marriage material. Now the easiest way is either to go halves or pay for something else like drinks or the show ticket prices etc. One girl (who I later married) every date I paid for the next date she made a meal or prepared a picnic for us.
Dr Orion Taraban wrote an excellent book on this very topic "The value of others: understanding the economics of relationships". In short, he says relationships are a value exchange. Both people have to get equal value from the relationship. If not, one of the parties will feel like they are getting taken advantage of.
The problem with men paying for first dates is that it has been abused by women, to go on a date to get a meal, and then split. These women have zero interesting in these dates they go out, just to get a good free meal. If you ask them why, they feel entitled to the meal.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 "Both people have to get equal value from the relationship." - Men get the pure joy of being in the presence of the angelic light-being that is the human female. What could possibly have as much value as that?
One could argue that she gave you the opportunity for a date, because she has enough to choose so it is already spending her value time with you. And since our goals today, usually are not cooking and crafting anymore, but are more about character, you are kind of equal at the dating table… But I get you, if I feel like I’m expected to pay just out of principle, then she lost already 20 points . I have stop dating multiple women after I gave them a little hint that they could offer to share the bill, so I might decline if I thought she behaved well on our date, and the ones who did not respond on purpose or made that I want me to pay, got sorted out. I know from a friend dated a girl who was very vehemently arguing that the man has to pay for her time and she would kind of pay back by then giving gifts later, who still wanted him to pay hundreds for activities after he explained that he has no job right now, but she did 🤯
One thing that would have been good to mention during segment 1 about negative messaging around marriage is the fear men have of the family court system. A sizable chunk of millennial and gen z men have seen what our fathers, uncles, siblings, etc went through with an ugly divorce or child custody battle and choose to avoid marriage to protect themselves. After all, nothing encourages marriage more than a broken or bitter relative repeatedly warning you to never get married to avoid what they went through. /s
It's why I won't marry. My father's ex wife stole everything from the family. Moved in with a new guy. And left her children to starve. She of course took custody. My father killed himself due to her actions. And us kids were left with this evil witch who allowed her new husband to rape my little sister. She just turned a blind eye. She liked that he had money that's all that mattered to her. Anyways. Many years later she divorced him too. Took much of his wealth. Well done mom. You cunt.
You shouldn't get married for marriage's sake. If it i a bad deal for either side in the contract, then that side has a reason to avoid agreeing to it. When chances of success are worse than a coin flip, it is time to reevaluate things and those men are smart to warn the next guy to prevent them from making a mistake.
38:03 Im sick and tired of hearing women saying men should pay for a person they dont know. Why? Is your time worth more than mine? Men and women are equal now, so how about we drop the cherry picked traditions of old? Women expecting me to pay, does not make me feel chivalrous, it makes me feel "lesser than" and that I am paying for their presence. Lets normalize splitting the bill on the first 3 dates, then we can talk about men taking care of their partners. And another note: Female "fuck boys" also exist, for whatever reason the dating apps are swarmed with women who are just looking for sex, which I am not.
Thank you! You have articulated a double standard that I have been trying to point out for years. I've never understood how women have been able to argue that their time is so much more valuable than ours. Objectively not true.
@@blakehorne4333 Truth. I also think the notion that most men would prefer casual sex is baloney. I would rather have a long term caring partner. Most of my friends agree. But somehow we’re all long term single. And I hear this from men all the time.
There is a vast difference between an uncomfortable conversation and a talk where your partner constantly weaponizes your past mistakes and transgressions to justify terrible treatment of you. Wonder how I learned that….. 😐
yeah. I wish I'd had the awareness and maturity to identify and respond to this kind of behavior in a healthy, self-protective way from the beginning. Not a fun experience. I wonder how common it is.
This was relatively well balanced that didn't put all of the blame on men as is our cultural norm. What was left out was the legal system. It's not a no fault divorce system. It's a his fault divorce system in which who ever accepts traditional masculine responsibilities with masculine sacrifices will be exploited by the legal system. This creates a situation in which women bounce on marriage when ever they are bored or tempted by another option. As an example of our his fault divorce system, I did a meetup group hike two weeks ago in which there was one man who hasn't seen his kids since December 2022 and another man who spent the previous weekend in jail because he got laid off and his amazon delivery money wasn't enough to allow him to eat and pay the $2,500 per month lifetime alimony. He foolishly stayed legally married to an abusive women so that her and their kids and her kids could have medical insurance. Now he is paying for that self sacrifice with lifetime alimony that he owes even during retirement. This means he needs to work until death or he goes back to jail.
I haven't seen my oldest 4 kids in 9 years. I spoke briefly to my oldest (now 18) he basically hates me and drank all of the koolaid his sociopathic mother gave him. Fuk these marriages and relationships. If I do relationship again it will hopefully be with someone in another county
I honestly thought I was done with dating, when I got married in the late 90s. We were young, but both of us knew it was meant to be, and it was. I do not have the bitter divorce story of so many people. We said our vows, "Until death do us part," and meant it. The only problem is that I assumed we would be both old and grey when that happened. So, now, here I am, in my late 40s, facing the prospect of dating again. My wife passed nearly 3 years ago and I am slightly reluctant to get out there again. The world of dating has drastically changed since I was last in it. Plus, even without the technological changes, dating in your 40s is different than dating in your teens and early 20s, when I last participated. While both my sons are grown young adults, most women in my dating pool are going to be divorced, and, likely, will still have children at home. If am going to be brutally honest, I raised my kids, and loved every minute of it, but I am done with that and don't want to do it again. I would prefer if my next interaction with children was when I have grandchildren.
I would point out that a man in his 40’s doing well for himself and in good shape can be attractive even to late 20’s and 30’s women. As a man you’re not restricted to 40 old women.
She's changed gynocentrick is still going I thought she was a decent lady talking about domestic violence in man from women like domestic now she's doing this another chameleon
Honestly I wouldn't go for any women who use online dating or actively use social media. The odds she wrongly thought men wanted anything more than low effort sex is scary high. And since we know men select down for hook ups, it causes women to experience men outside their commitment range and that'll make it near impossible to appreciate or be aroused by men on their level. This is a much larger issue than anyone is willing to accept.
The much larger issue that no one seems to accept at all is in fact that most men only really aim at women who are way beyond their level (usually looks). It's the men that are sickening society with always wanting what thay cannot have, and that's usually preetty girls/beautiful women. Why don't you follow your own stream of thinking, get honest about how you look and what you can offer and start choosing according to YOUR level ?
Hate to say it, but just because you are an exception to the rules by getting married through Bumble doesn’t mean we can all sidestep the landscape and just choose to be in your shoes. I have always been authentic, intentional, honest, caring and as much fun as possible.. can you guess how that ended up for me EVERY SINGLE TIME? Not only do I get dumped or cheated on but then I have to live the shame of being called “weak” for desiring a real relationship and that it’s my fault for chasing them off. I don’t care what anybody says anymore.. it has been proven to me beyond the shadow of any doubt that women are disgusted by decent men.
Give yourself permission to give up if it's hurting you. But don't close your heart because it will be worse when you realize you missed an opportunity out of spite for what others have done to you.
@@derendohoda3891I second this. Many women have disgusted me and when I put in effort to become attractive and boyfriend material, girls either wanted to have sex or could not deal with my legitimacy and “high value” qualities. Then I met my friend, a girl I am liking more and more. She is giving me the hope that I can find a woman for me. And I feel you, I entirely undestand, but I didn’t shut myself off and I am glad for that
Indecent women don't want decent men. They seek to use them. Decent women want decent men, but many of them use bad tactics with bad men in hopes that he turns out to be decent. Many of those once decent women become indecent. Essentially, protect yourself with boundaries that allow you to be a good man but protect you from being exploited. At least, if you get done wrong, you can spare yourself from the worst of it and move on with minimal damage. However, for the emotional damage, you should take time off and think about good and positive things.
Watch Casey Zander. You can’t treat women good. You have to treat them like you don’t care. They have to think you are better than them or you will lose.
And divorces for the women,like it’s no big deal. It is for most men. It is devastating for most men. Also the culture is she doesn’t have to do anything in the relationship, that is work on herself, work on the relationship, make a commitment, financial, behave. Anytime she doesn’t feel happy she pulls the plug and gets paid, all the while the men are blamed as the cause of the breakdown.
I will die alone before I fall for a marketing scheme where I am commodifying myself alongside a bunch of sociopaths. (Use dating apps or social media.)
Incredibly well put, I read your comment three times and I appeal to the channel creator to pin your words right below the video. Goes without saying I second your thoughts.
@@leebishop7591 It is not a matter of CAN or CAN NOT, it is a matter of consistency. If you see a video like that it is because deep there you still have some hope.
I would try dating foreign women. I would totally agree with dating Western women unless if you find a diamond in the rough or you get married young It's pretty much garbage now but there is still a couple billion pretty awesome women around the world that have very good attitudes much more conservative and to keep themselves in good shape.
I respect your perspective! It’s empowering to embrace singleness and prioritize self-contentment. Just make sure to stay open to new experiences and connections when the time feels right. While being alone can be fulfilling, you might find joy in unexpected friendships or relationships that add to your happiness.
whats wrong is if the guy treats her seriously and makes it clear he wants to marry her, the girl gets put off and goes for the guy who doesnt care about her, she should be like 'great this guy isnt just going to sleep with me, hes a good guy i should be with him' but that isnt what happens IRL, the guy who ignores them they sre attracted to, something is seriously wrong with them, i dont expect them to like the loser who wants them bad, but if a nice guy good looking comes along and gives them the impression he is serious they get turned off.
That happened to me. Broke my heart. She had a really rough childhood and bad relationship experiences. My therapist thinks she "love bombed" me. Showered me with affection so I would be really into her and give her loads of attention and affection back. She did this to feel good about herself. To feel like she is wanted and desired. But then she got her fill and moved on to someone else. Without telling me. My therapist suggested that she might not feel like she deserves to be treated well. That's why she ends things.
Been married, divorced, and now single again. While I appreciate the positive message of this video espousing the benefits of marriage, in TODAY'S WORLD, marriage is a very bad deal for the vast majority of men. MAYBE a few decades or a few generations in the future, things might change, but for now marriage is a bad deal for men. I would strongly advise men young and old to avoid marriage. Date as much as you can. Fall in love. Have long meaningful relationships, but do not sign that legal contract of marriage. Somewhere along in the marriage, the benefits of marriage evaporate. The intimacy and caring and even sex disappears. You may be left with a grumpy bitter aging woman who is nothing like the wife you married. The inevitable divorce will deplete you of the money and resources you sacrificed and worked for a lifetime. Skip all that pain and expense and disappointment.
What’s the point of sterile relationships you are promoting as an alternative to marriage? If there’s no possibility of a relationship leading to the formation of a healthy family, then i'd rather stay celibate.
Phenylethylamine production ceases in 75% of women in relationships at around the 18 month to 2 year mark. That time period is the only statistically significant factor. Less than 20% of men ceased production in the course of the 5 year study. The "natural" loss of interest in sex that you are partially describing is only natural for women. With no guarantee of continued sexual supply after that - almost guaranteed - loss of interest and no social contract to protect men from not having their own needs while still being expected to meet all of hers.... Combine that with universal social messaging that women should tap out of their relationship as soon as they are unhappy while men who do so are scum and I think you've got some deeper challenges to face if you want to rebuild faith in long term relationships for men. One more little objection. The belief that men sort women into 2 groups is very problematic. Men sort women into 3 groups. Those we would consider viable for a long term relationship, those we would have casual sex with and, by far the largest group, those with whom we would never be interested in either. The fact that you can't conceptualize that a man might not be delighted to have sex with any woman who wants him is classic rape culture.
Men also lose interest in physical intimacy too. See "The Coolidge Effect". I agree with your point around pro-divorce culture and people unnecessarily divorcing to protect the kids from an unhappy marriage. This is very problematic for relationship stability but millions of men keep getting married every year, and there are plenty of unmarried simps who want to get married.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 Thanks. I had already clearly acknowledged that a percentage of men lose interest - 20% over the course of the 5 year study - to be exact. The answer to both of your points is "rates" which are always more important than absolute numbers. For example 75% is much larger than 20% . While there are still plenty of people getting married the marriage rate is steeply declining while the percentage of young men not looking for a relationship at all has leapt about 10% in less than 2 years. If you want babies being born to support you when you retire (and you really should) then these rates of change should scare you.
@@brianmeen2158 Hadn"t occurred to me but I don"t see why not, in theory. It is, after all, just another amphetamine... And because of that anyone selling it as a supplement could get a visit from the DEA any time now. Also, if legality doesn't bother you, you might as well just take ecstacy, it has the same general effect on your desire to rub yourself on things.
When I googled rape culture the definition is a society that normalizes rape and abuse as acceptable. If this is the society I live in, it’s funny that I’ve never seen that messaging. All I have ever seen is that rape is wrong and not tolerated. I cannot see the connection between leaving out one category of women, women a man not interested in period, and rape culture. I agree there is that 3’rd category, but cannot see how leaving that category out implies rape culture. I think she left that third category out because she was talking about women men have interest in and how men categories those women. In that context, the third category is irrelevant.
I am 53 and I stopped dating 7 years ago. If you wait until you're older, you mainly meet people with mounds of baggage. It's to the point that dating doesn't sound even fun in the least. Back when I was in high school and university, it was exciting. There was so many great attitudes. No one had really started their lives, and picked up their adult life. We as a species will one day have to getting dating offline and have people meet and mingle in local areas. Stop having all the women chase all the percieved great guys through online dating, that gets them ran through, bitter and man-hating.
They do, and the diseases, I stopped same time, had met a gal at a speed dating but she using me for sex while I use her for comfort, I figure may as well let my heart get broke one last time, felt great because I knew that was probably it for me.
There is much wrong with casual intentions (I assume you mean hooking up here). Casual s*x shows total disrespect for the inherent dignity and personhood of a woman.
They KNOW the men they're sleeping with are seeing other women. They're buying lottery tickets, hoping that by sleeping with the 9, that she'll be the lucky 6 to hold him down. Or she's delusional and thinks she's a 10 and that she's the one saying no to all the 9s and when she's done having fun she'll "let" one of them take care of her for the rest of her life.
@@catsnchords They don't think that, nobody ever did anything to make them believe that. If they think that, they convinced themselves with no evidence
@@michaelhoudecki3657 A lot of them do think like that. I've seen it from dating career type women myself. Mainstream media, their teachers, peers, colleagues, dating coaches, etc. reinforce that "they're a catch", that they "intimidate men" with their success.
Women can have sex and not worry about being forced to support a child. Men can't. Discrimination based on sex is illegal. This is a Human Rights issue. Men's Rights matter.
Men have the right to keep their zipper up. 🤷🏻 Unalienable rights come with inherent personal responsibility. Such is the nature of liberty. I wish you luck in the future, friend.
yep, my wife for example for the last few years makes double of what I make. However she works 80+ hours a week, comes home only to sleep, almost doesn't see our kids anymore. Before she stayed home, was working on her degree and I worked every day to support the family. Now I work from home full time, take care of the house and the kids. But now she is miserable and resents me for making less than her. Sickening ..
The work-out part we men have control of. The job part? Highly dependent on the local economy whether positions are available or not (mostly not in many places within North America). That part's not always our fault.
I love faithfulness and commitment. I have stood by and fought for my family, even while my wife betrayed me in so many ways. I fight for my kids and the future of their children having 1 set of grandparents to visit. I mourn what I thought I had and didn’t. Be faithful, don’t hurt someone in the worst way, unfaithfulness.
You don't ask a fish for advice on how to fish. This "be authentic and be yourself" stuff will leave you alone as woman after woman walks away as they lose what little attraction they had to begin with. That is a fact. If you really want to torpedo your changes, let her know up front you want marriage. She will look for a man that is likely "better' because he has options and isn't worried about settling down. Often times, women look to each other to know what they want because they can't figure it out on their own. Reread my last sentence and you get the picture of what is going on...
"You don't ask a fish..." Indeed. And on top of that, some fish will say "We are protected by the great white shark who will eat you alive if you dare fish in our waters!"
As a woman, I specifically chose my partner because he’s kind and authentic with me. Also, if fish could speak English, I’m sure they’d gladly tell us what their favorite food is.
SO NICE to hear someone putting out a video talking about so much of this stuff. Was just discussing how social media has fomented this weird sort of xenophobia and a desire for surface-level-only connections. And it's wild, because these people that get on social media ostensibly with the purpose of "making new friends" all also "hate small talk"...which is literally all social media is and is necessarily restricted to by the limited nature of posting. Somewhere in the last 20-30 years, people stopped being taught the mechanical process of conversational flow, i.e.: small talk leads to Big Talk leads to Common Ground Discovery leads to ACTUAL CONNECTION. You can't just skip small talk and go straight to Big Talk. And discussing common interests is still only surface level if the conversation never strays into something that MEANS something to either party. Sure, we can both like pineapple on pizza, but if we then never SHARE A PIZZA TOGETHER, that knowledge is irrelevant surface level information and will never MEAN anything to each other except as an interesting data point. The double bind thing is SO real and such a pain to deal with. We're told to be open and show vulnerability, but if we do, she immediately perceives this as weakness and shuffles us out of the "potential mate" category and into the "just a friend" category. This is counterproductive for all parties involved, both in the near term and the long term. It destroys the thing she was hoping for, by her own counterintuitive and often completely subconscious decision, and teaches him that he was wrong for opening up. Glad to have run across your channel!
Can you get a relationship? Mostly, no. Can you keep a relationship should you happen to get one? Also, mostly no. (Do prenuptial agreements work? Mostly, no...)
Wow.. An extremely well put and comprehensive break down of Modern Dating. Thanks and I look forward to viewing more of your content....Oh and I subscribed 🕊️❤️
I’m a 60 y/o guy. Divorced for 17 yrs and pretty much single since. Not my choice on the divorce. I want to be in a compatible, committed relationship but I despise dating. I have absolutely no desire to go through the dating bullshit. I do not trust women’s intentions. So it looks like I’ll will be alone from here on out. Sucks but it’s safer
I am 36. Same story. But no marriage. Before system's penalize women for divorcing. It will be encouragement for divorce. Right call buddy. Its best if you pay Escorts for social interactions. No. Commitment but you'll have a person.
People need you to keep making videos. You say what i think, but cant always put into words. I love the hour long deep dives you do. Been listening at work and hope you keep going!
Nothing wrong with modern dating, it's modern women that's the problem, even if you have the best of the best which I do, it's a daily emotional roller coaster,
@@bassw1758 Reminds me of all those classic Hollywood films where the man just slaps the woman and everything goes on like, “yeah, I had that coming….gonna behave now. Thank you, sir.”
It’s ridiculous to only blame one gender for modern dating. Anyone that takes a deep dive into why we are at this point would come out blaming both sexes
Probably one of the best videos I’ve seen in a while. Now here’s what I liked about it: I pretty much enjoyed the entire video, but the part that resonated with me on an emotional level, was your dating advice surprisingly enough. I am a 40 year old, single father trying to raise a son on my own in a world. I do not understand. As far as dating goes I long ago gave up on any hope of finding somebody who would actually accept me for the values I place on morality, work and for who I am rather than what I can give them materially. I’ve pretty much accepted the fact that I’m going to die alone, but what truly bothers me and disturbs me is that my son is 19 and doesn’t have a girlfriend, has never had a girlfriend and doesn’t seem inclined towards having a girlfriend. Most likely for many of the reasons you have mentioned and what’s worse is, I can’t help him in that regard also for the reasons you have mentioned! So literally everything that you have mentioned I have experienced am watching play out in front of my eyes every day.
I believed as you do when I was younger. Went to college, got a good job, got married, bought a big house, got it *paid off*, had a child. When my son was 3 my wife wanted a divorce. Had to sell the house. But I didn't give up, found a new wife, raised my son in joint custody. But pretty much the same thing happened again. And I know people who believe in marriage so much that they've done all that as much as 4 times! But I've given up. I have several ladies who enjoy my company and appreciate my support but are fairly independent. I message each of them when I feel like seeing them. Occasionally they message me. We get together when we want to. I do what I feel like doing all the time. I'm much happier. Marriage may be good for society, but it's horrible for the individual. And like anything that's good for society but bad for the individual (taxes for example) in order to exist it will have to be enforced with an iron fist. It's not going to be something people do voluntarily.
Those last 2 sentences are spot-on; I expect bachelor taxes (which will be distinct from higher taxes for singles) before too much longer. Somebody's gotta be the pay-pig.
The wrong marriage is horrible for the person, the right marriage will literally make your life. Selecting an appropriate partner is difficult, but today peoples minds are broken because we have no patience, and we're all to self-centered.
Another great video 👍 I've been trying to find a female RUclipsr that fully breaks down such topics in order to make the information much more palatable for my female family members. And I'm glad to know that I found you. Thank you so very much for taking the time to comprehensively breaking down these complex topics.
I'm living overseas in Asia. It seems like 98% of women on dating sites there are hookers. Lots of fake profiles too: "I'm single... I'm looking for serious...", but if you contact them, they tell you that they are actually just 'looking for customers'... Are many women just out to sell themselves these days?? - So frustrating... 😢
So much value in this content. As a father of 3 young boys, much good advice and social knowledge to reflect upon and to try and communicate to my kids as part of their education.
5.) the antagonism between the sexes oh, you mean the attack on men for the last 50 years and the slight pushback by only a small few of them over the last 4? LOL
It's the second video that i watched till the end. Thanks for the time you have took from your real life to post your perspectives, despite being far from perfect ,for me they have one of the most accurate depictions of today's dating culture matters.
I have been unemployed for a while now (my decision) and have really delved deep into the world of podcasts. I can tell you that what you are doing is quite unique and refreshing - despite tackling trendy topics, you do it from a particular angle. Needless to say that being a woman, your anti-feminist content brings an added value that is hard to be found elsewhere (although it seems to be gaining traction thanks to some of the ladies you mentioned here in your podcast). I have already shared some of your episodes with my (pseudo)feminist girl-friends. Living in Eastern Europe, a former warzone to be precise, I can tell you that dating is a bit easier since feminism hasn't caught on yet, but I see it with younger folks and I do not like it. It becomes even more bizarre since they are using anglicisms to describe notions that do not even exist in our daily reality here, since we were a former communist country and women got "promoted" into legal and social equality way sooner, faster and in a top-down manner. I am afraid the modern American culture will ruin us all everywhere, despite me living in a quite anti-American or at least not a pro-American country (since the US bombed us 25 years ago). I am worried about the future of our civilization, but thanks to your effort and the like-minded people, we might have a chance. Please keep up the good work. And good luck.
We in LV have the same USA "feminism" importing what is funny, because we already had equal rights for women and that circus is not working, a feminist here is like a curse word for both genders.
I just found your youtube channel and I really love your approach to the topics you speak of. I agree on all of these points. Currently, I (as a female) have not been on a date for around a year and I do not like dating apps... however I wonder if that is the only way to have a chance these days! For all the negative downsides you mentioned I really would rather not!
I'm sorry, but you're wrong. Not about the points your making, but that these are the reasons why dating is problem today. These are minor players that barely contribute. The real issue is internet combined with evolutionary biology. They don't mix. I'm just old enough to have seen the progression from the days of corded phones and pagers to cellphones and internet. When women can go to a space where they can privately select men based on "stats" and looks, they will all choose the same tallest hottest men. That's not negativity, it is objective reality. It used to be that people met through friends, family, and intermingling social circles. Yeah, the tallest hot guys always had the hot girl. But dating was under the public eye. He wasn't finding girls online. He had to talk to them in public. If he was a 9-10 guy, he usually dated a girl that was a 9-10. And sleeping with a 6 would risk him losing his 9-10. He couldn't sleep with the 6 by sliding into her DMs and inviting her over on the DL. He was held to account because he was dating a friend's family member, or at least the popular chick in his hometown. What this meant was 9-10 guy was taken. If 6 girl wanted a man in her life, she was practically forced to actually interact with guys of her own level and choose from them. Now those guys have experienced what a waste of time trying to date is for them, so they are at home playing video games, while 6 girl is getting her back blown out by one 9-10 after another and crying between each one about how there are no good guys out there who will commit to her. Now add on to that that society has convinced every human with a vagina that they are at least an 8 or better, when simple math tells us that at least 50% are actually
dated enough that I know modern dating is often toxic, I used to truly love dating the flirting and just good times, going to plays, rock climbing, scuba, or sailing I rarely went on a date and came home saying that was a waste of time. then 5 yrs ago it flipped fast, more and more I came home and said why did I even go. Women got extremely toxic even holding a door became some act of oppression according to them most dates ended in a bich session of their last one. I know not all women are toxic but it is really not wort the effort to find one, especially with women who falsely project them selves then turn out to be very different
It's crazy to me to look at ancient or primitive peoples (who struggled to even feed themselves, treat their illnesses, or respect each other as humans) and think "We should emulate them. We should be polygamous." Western civilization, the one that brought the largest exponential improvements to all areas of life (law, technology, ethics, medicine, and more) has always been monogamous. It may be weird, but it works. Don't fix it if it ain't broke.
You are reading it backwards. You think that monogamy is what caused the good times when it is the other way around. The reason why so-called "primitive" societies had polygamy was because it was advantageous to survival. Women flocked to men that could provide for them while the men who could barely even provide for themselves got nothing. There was a reason that men would take on incredibly risky or labor intensive work. Meanwhile, in the modern centuries - excluding the last few decades - monogamy held prevelant, specifically because more people had access to more wealth. Now with everyone feeling the hurt, it is no surprise that the comfort of monogamy is falling to the wayside. Monogamy is not going to save the world - you have to make the world better if you want people to actually sit down and commit to each other. We literally have an example in the U.S. with the single largest and wealthiest generation: the Baby Boomer. They (and the monogamous marriages that birthed them) came from an incredibly prosperous time in the U.S., a time that has long since ended. No one should be surprised in the decline in marraiges in this kind of environment.
@@felixfeliciano7011 monogamy was the dominant marital arrangement in the West long before modern prosperity. humanity slogged and scraped and just barely got by for the many millenia when polygamy was dominant. then only a couple thousand years after monogamy became the standard, we got the modern age. Monogamy is a fundament of the West, and the West gave you every good thing you have.
@@felixfeliciano7011 also, if polygamy brings prosperity, why is almost every polygamous culture in existence still primitive, tribal, and backward? and conversely, almost every monogamous culture is at least literate and developing?
i just can't get back into dating. I've tried but I'm tapping out. 42, been single 14ish years and haven't had sex since 2019. not worth the effort. I go to the gym 4 days a week, do sports, have a great carrer bought a house. There's an ever present void in my all of the time and that natural drive to want a partner can be crushing at times. closed my FB dating profile a week or 2 ago. don't think i'll go back. Great video and hit a lot of points. I've read David M. Buss' books as well and they're great for giving you insight into the drives behind mate selection. it's always great to hear a womans perspective though so thanks for a great video!
What can I say, time to get a motorcycle or two, haha. I have not given up yet, but since the last drama queen Im really hesitant to risk my high income, comfortable, fun and problem free life :)
This is a really solid analysis. I think it has always been hard for people to be vulnerable and the social scripts of the past helped a lot with that.
I loved your video but the part about having a professional looking dating profile is exactly the same as getting hooked on porn. By the way, huge numbers of women consume porn but just don’t admit it. It is an illusion. We didn’t need any of this 35 years ago. It is a sign of mass psychosis. Short of women waking up, only a world war or catastrophic natural disaster will change the mind set of women to the point where they appreciate what have done for women overall and continue to do. Build roads, deliver gas cylinders, design better portable toilets, construct safer homes. Is that not worthy of love?
I think that the statements within 25:00-30:00 regarding men’s ethical accountability within women making an independent decision to hook up on the first date are misled. Any man consistently pushing a woman to sleep with him early on despite her hesitance is certainly in the wrong, but positing it - and a woman agreeing in her own desire for him - is nothing to blame any man for. VERY dangerous territory if we are implying that a man ought to be looked down upon for the latter.
Only a very small percentage of men are doing this, however, it's the exact opposite in the other direction. It's so easy for women that most of them ARE engaged in this hook-up culture. And then blaming the average guy for the "sins" of chad.
Thank you for your work. I am a middle aged man who just poured 6 years into a woman I should have cycled through an intelligent screening process in a few weeks or months. I am grateful to her for enduring the lockdown with me. However, she was an abusive tyrant.
Once you truly understand vvomen, you will never ever be able to love again. The manosphere and social media exposed the dark side of vvhamen‘s nature Men are waking up and vvomen are terrified!
I hear what you’re saying and my wife of 18 years seduced her young friends husband who she worked with, which should strengthen your point to me, but I won’t let her change who I am. There are some high value women who won’t do that and they’re starting to speak out. Bad people shouldn’t be given the power of hurting good people into joining them .
I am an 8, college educated man with a great corporate job, I have no vices, and I have my finances well in control. I am walking away from dating, LTR’s, and the whole concept of it all. I stumble into a few casual hookups a year so I don’t have to be celibate either. To be clear, a loving LTR is definitely what I want the most, but I can also read the handwriting on the wall in our culture. I’m 53, I’ve had 86 relationships with 86 ladies, 2 marriages & 2 divorces. I’m done
I think a strategy I should take being 35 years old - is to start regularly going to activities like yoga, salsa, running/hiking groups, and anything where I can naturally also meet women. But still just enjoy the activities. And then make new friends. Just make it a habit, and it will naturally expand social circles. I don't consider online, it's inadequate. Or bars/clubs and similar places. Anyone with a "hookup" mentality is always full of insecurities and issues. I just want to meet normal people, and see each other as people first.
I did try that strategy when I lived in the city in America The problem was any single woman that I have for found that was into any of that stuff was very left-wing I mean like universally It's very weird I'm sure there are some women out there I just never came across them who were a political or just normal people. I suggest dating foreign woman since the vast majority of women in the world are not in America or the West in the vast majority of them are not caught up in our weird politics and like traditional roles. Worked wonders for me
"I am ready for the hate with that one..." Its sad how the sensible have to apologize for obviously correct opinions for the vast majority of people while the foolish get to openly attack without shame. Thanks for speaking up, don't pull punches and don't apologize
I haven't had a girlfriend or sex since 2004, 20 yrs, single from my early 20s to early 40s,so so fcking disappointing. I'm 6'3" own my own business, intelligent and kind, I just don't get it. I can't seem to cross paths with someone and make a meaningful connection like in the late 90s early 2000s, maybe it's me, much understanding and care to all single and looking. 🙌❤️
2 decades - funny, it was a little less than 2 decades ago that I became aware that I was giving 10X more than I was getting back; I was making the lives of others better, but at cost to my emotional, mental and physical well-being. I determined at that point that I would balance my giving and getting; in addition to reducing my circle of 'friends' by at least 90%, this also had the effect of making me what I now call 'MGTOW by proxy', as all female interest vanished once I made it clear that I would not act as a walking ATM. The harsh truth is this - Men are not loved; what men provide is loved, but only for as long as we provide it. This is the reason why men are expected to pay for the first date.
This is some serious blue pill propaganda. Marriage used to be good for men but now it's just a vehicle for women to fastrack themselves to financial independence. She avoids this massive elephant in the room and plays on men's desire for purpose in life and sells the idea that women are again the answer to salvation and contentment thus putting you back on the marriage yoke and convincing you that it is all your fault and that the very idea that you even have a woman is the answer to all your prayers.
I like your well-reasoned, balanced and insightful view of many issues that are very relevant to me. I can ask such questions as “Is feminism really progressive or opportunistic?” or “Is your focus on a man’s work ethic or job title a traditional value or just a shield for the entitlement to be taken care of?” At the end of the day, your views give me greater clarity on my own views which often span the divides of socially liberal and conservative. It’s not that I expect to have it all figured out, but feel more comfortable being authentic and accepting the consequences. And for that I’m grateful to you.
Ghosting is not a modern form of communication, ignoring and avoiding are other words for it, not all have learned it properly, particularly receiving it. But with modern communication methods and often large population in the area then easier to be used "successfully". In general it means "I'm not interested anymore, telling you is only waste of time for us both, where you probably want to talk about it to try undo it or say something you think are hurtful in spite or giving you the feel you is the one in control." As all communication it can be used "wrongly", ghosting is often to be used in short acquaintances, or if know the other will try create drama and probably have been given obvious clues in advance.
I assure you, none of the things you mentioned about the tinder profile will matter if a guy is not 6 ft tall and handsome. Men just need to opt out from the dating apps completely, but the sad truth is that most are just to lazy. Dating apps remove the rejection part for men which seems to be good at a first glance, and that's why they are so popular with men, but that eliminates the opportunity for self-development and becoming resilient. Also that's the opportunity that women almost never have.
Thank you Roni for posting an excellent video. I have many take aways from this video and look fwd to hearing more. As an experienced online dater, i believe your analysis is spot on & resonates so truthfully. Best to you.
This analysis overlooks the phenomenon of concealed ovulation and falsely suggests that prehistoric hunter/gatherers somehow also engaged in exclusive pairbonding. This willful ignorance fails to explain the poor choices that women make when selecting potential fathers and the actual challenges of maintaining exclusive sexual relationships
As a white man I only have relationships of any type with white women and possibly east Asian women but even then I'd rather preserve my race, as I suggest the Japanese do the same
This video is incredibly informative and well organized for the sheer quantity of knowledge you provided. I think that there are a lot of jaded men who experienced the negative side of female nature (as I have, I get it), and videos like these attract comments from the worse part of those men. Hating the video because they hate all women. Without a doubt, making a conscious effort in understanding the sexes and their differences through videos like these is what helps us begin taking the correct steps to healthy philosophies and attitudes toward eachother in romance.
Having the nerve for a woman to have free sex with you before marriage , if someone will ever be so desperate to marry you, now that is truly patriarchal and full of entitlement considering how cheap and greedy you are! :)) I bet you're one of those stingy men who, like so many others, waaaay too many, believe they are worthy of super models only. I pray that men like you end up with angry, controlling women who seem attractive at first and then with time , stop giving affection and sex.
Hope you don't let the negative comments get you down, even if I don't necessarily agree with you on everything or feel like you could have added a bit more, a bit more positivity is needed now, especially when people are so willing to stay down in a depressing rabbit hole.
The basis for the growth of Western civilization was not only monogamy, but also patriarchy. In primitive hunter tribes, there was no monogamy, there was a tribe like a "big family", the hidden ovulation of women just distinguished us from other higher primates for this. Humans are a polygamous species. Monogamy was artificially introduced by the patriarchy so that men did not have to waste their energy on getting a woman and competing for them. This has been eliminated today.
Well done Roni! I have always wondered why the “polyamorous/non-monogamy” guys always leave out jealousy when they cite evolutionary psychology to make their points. Jealousy is deeply embedded in the most primitive part of our brains precisely to motivate men and women to protect their families. Only the jealous man made sure the kids his wife was having were his. Over the generations, jealousy would be reinforced. Likewise, the jealous female made sure that his efforts and resources would be spent on her and the children. We are only here because our ancestors were jealous. I’m so glad you touched on oxytocin. The power of the function of our biochemistry cannot be overstated. No amount of ignorant philosophy will ever change how that works. Additionally, an even larger factor in connection and attachment is a massively important concept of interpersonal neurobiology. To me, that is at the core of the pain of a breakup. Learning about psychology and caring about your relationships is a great way to foster healthy neurology and the rest of your health will follow. And lastly, everyone should study stoicism as close to the source as possible, such as the meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Men in particular can really benefit from it. I can assure you that Stoicism will by no means distance you from your emotional sensitivity. In fact, I believe it enhances it. Being human is an emotional experience from moment to moment until it’s over. PS your video on Marxism was one of the best I’ve seen, excellent work!
there is a rumor that women from places where they don't have TV or watch TV the outcomes are better, but if you bring them back to an area with orwell's viewing screen things go downhill pretty fast.
I've loved your videos and have listened to several today, I would say that sometimes men do bond through sex and as such can also be negatively affected by hookup culture. I had a one night stand a couple years ago that lead me to falling in love with the woman and completely ignoring her very serious psychological red flags including having 4 children each from a different man. I'll admit tho that I'm much more vulnerable to bonding due to the autism spectrum symptoms I have
The antagonism is one of the driving factors of feminism. The word equality, like many other words, lost its meaning long time ago. Most of the rethoric is just projection to put men down or raise women at the expense of men but not for true equality. You notice in the double standards women uphold all the time.
Very true. Men are more or less the same. It is women who have become entitled and incapable of accountability. How can you desire equality and then claim to be above reproach?
The honey moon effect passes away, true. But as life goes and you're getting older, everything slowly vanishes. Whatever the subject, the object, you'll get used to. Less and less wonders, less and less surprises. This excitingly awesome house you bought in your 20s has become "just your home". A new thing is only new until the next time. It is what I use to call the "seen it all" effect. Time erodes everything. Passion turns into love, love into affection, affection into respect. The hardest being not to mistake the "seen it all" with synical.
@@eagle162You’re not even making any sense. If it was natural for humans to be monogamous, we would see very young boys and girls pair up and stay together until death. This is almost non existent.
As a relatively young person in the family I am often asked during family gatherings what happened to dating and relationships why are majority of you youngsters single now? I often don't know what to say because it's a long story with multiple different factors. I think your video is a great summary of what the problems of dating are currently. It's pretty balanced and at least you didn't say it's men's fault like a lot of others did. So I think this is a good video to send to those people who ask "what happened to dating".
It's far more womans issues (feminism is a feminine ideology made to cater to women, and women bought in hard) and it's not most men's jobs to fix that, it's smart women's jobs to fix that shit, they won't listen to men anyway, we either lawfare it out of public discussion or have e women fight it ideologically with another feminine ideology that actually benefits women (and not feminists).
And either way, a lot of men are already fighting feminism that's what red pill is about, it's about recognition of the roots of some of the issues (things like hypergamy, dating apps, hook up culture, etc) and the willingness for men to step away and from stepping away wake women up and talking about how both men and women can fix the problem, men by going thier own way, and improving themselves, and women by recognizing feminism is toxic, hypergamy and feminine bullying is stopping them from finding partners, and that sleeping around isnt doing anything good for them. All of that is redpill
Men are done getting married, especially those with resources. A large majority of women abused the privilege.
Pe'dowood su'cks.
Unless you address what so many hor'rible women are doing to men with the court system, you are being bias.
Graduated as a undergrad one weekend and got married the next weekend. I was 23 she was 33 been married 30+ years. Lost her to Alzheimer's/ dementia. We were loyal to each other the entire time. Now I am starting all over. God I miss my best friend, my wife.
What a beautiful marriage and I’m so sorry for your loss 🙏🏻 I’ve lost quite a few family members to Alzheimer’s and it is brutal. I’m wishing you much love and peace of mind on the road ahead my friend ♥️
I’m sorry for your loss. To start over make sure she is a virgin and best if she has no college (divorce) schooling.
@@ronifouks
Why should men pay from first date.. Why dont women make men sandwich from the first date.. Or give him a BJ on first date.. You seem like a gynocentric women..or women first mentality
@@davedsilva Appreciate the idea. I am 58. So am I just looking at a 40+ virgins. Would be very interesting to understand why she is a virgin. FYI My wife / soulmate was married before before I married her. Absolutely the best thing ever for my life. Thanks for an idea, had not thought about it.
@@TheDWZemkeVirginity is necessary these days for pair bonding, otherwise it's just your turn. I'm around your age, and was surprised 20 year old virgins look to me seriously, driven by their fantasizing for a daddy-husband. But I only rotate 20 year old 304s where they love being side chicks to avoid ruining any good girl. The key is to talk Chad romance novel scenes like 50 Shades and they go nuts. Be the Chad Gentleman.
You mentioned men should pay on the first date. My 2c. Dating with regards to restaurants etc has only really been around since the 1950s. Men paying for it really just started from that point. Prior to that courting was much more about reciprocation. A man would visit a woman's household but he would also be given a meal and a demonstration of how well she could manage a household, A man would be expected to show how well he could manage his life. For example he might bring the meat for the meal a woman prepares, if he was a blacksmith he would bring something he had made etc. What's missing in today's dating is that act of reciprocation. I take a woman on a date, I pay yet I get nothing in return. That first date sets up the basis for the rest of the relationship. Responsibility without reward or authority. Now I am NOT saying the reward should be sex. But ladies, if you do not show reciprocation, you are not marriage material. Now the easiest way is either to go halves or pay for something else like drinks or the show ticket prices etc. One girl (who I later married) every date I paid for the next date she made a meal or prepared a picnic for us.
Dr Orion Taraban wrote an excellent book on this very topic "The value of others: understanding the economics of relationships". In short, he says relationships are a value exchange. Both people have to get equal value from the relationship. If not, one of the parties will feel like they are getting taken advantage of.
The problem with men paying for first dates is that it has been abused by women, to go on a date to get a meal, and then split.
These women have zero interesting in these dates they go out, just to get a good free meal. If you ask them why, they feel entitled to the meal.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 "Both people have to get equal value from the relationship." - Men get the pure joy of being in the presence of the angelic light-being that is the human female. What could possibly have as much value as that?
One could argue that she gave you the opportunity for a date, because she has enough to choose so it is already spending her value time with you.
And since our goals today, usually are not cooking and crafting anymore, but are more about character, you are kind of equal at the dating table…
But I get you, if I feel like I’m expected to pay just out of principle, then she lost already 20 points .
I have stop dating multiple women after I gave them a little hint that they could offer to share the bill, so I might decline if I thought she behaved well on our date, and the ones who did not respond on purpose or made that I want me to pay, got sorted out.
I know from a friend dated a girl who was very vehemently arguing that the man has to pay for her time and she would kind of pay back by then giving gifts later, who still wanted him to pay hundreds for activities after he explained that he has no job right now, but she did 🤯
@@dunar1005one could also argue that the world is flat.
One thing that would have been good to mention during segment 1 about negative messaging around marriage is the fear men have of the family court system. A sizable chunk of millennial and gen z men have seen what our fathers, uncles, siblings, etc went through with an ugly divorce or child custody battle and choose to avoid marriage to protect themselves. After all, nothing encourages marriage more than a broken or bitter relative repeatedly warning you to never get married to avoid what they went through. /s
It’s not mentioned for a reason
It's why I won't marry. My father's ex wife stole everything from the family. Moved in with a new guy. And left her children to starve. She of course took custody. My father killed himself due to her actions. And us kids were left with this evil witch who allowed her new husband to rape my little sister. She just turned a blind eye. She liked that he had money that's all that mattered to her.
Anyways. Many years later she divorced him too. Took much of his wealth. Well done mom. You cunt.
That part^
You shouldn't get married for marriage's sake. If it i a bad deal for either side in the contract, then that side has a reason to avoid agreeing to it. When chances of success are worse than a coin flip, it is time to reevaluate things and those men are smart to warn the next guy to prevent them from making a mistake.
Eventually you'll come back, hope you aren't too old by then
38:03 Im sick and tired of hearing women saying men should pay for a person they dont know. Why? Is your time worth more than mine? Men and women are equal now, so how about we drop the cherry picked traditions of old? Women expecting me to pay, does not make me feel chivalrous, it makes me feel "lesser than" and that I am paying for their presence. Lets normalize splitting the bill on the first 3 dates, then we can talk about men taking care of their partners.
And another note: Female "fuck boys" also exist, for whatever reason the dating apps are swarmed with women who are just looking for sex, which I am not.
PREACH! 🙌
Thank you! You have articulated a double standard that I have been trying to point out for years. I've never understood how women have been able to argue that their time is so much more valuable than ours. Objectively not true.
And after the dating costs splitting we also need the family laws change to stop destroying men after divorce.
@@blakehorne4333 Truth. I also think the notion that most men would prefer casual sex is baloney. I would rather have a long term caring partner. Most of my friends agree. But somehow we’re all long term single. And I hear this from men all the time.
Yeah if they want to keep it traditional and have us pay then the next date should be her making a 5 coarse meal. Just keeping it traditional
There is a vast difference between an uncomfortable conversation and a talk where your partner constantly weaponizes your past mistakes and transgressions to justify terrible treatment of you.
Wonder how I learned that….. 😐
Surely it couldn't have been through interactions with the angelic light-beings sometimes known as human females...
@@Doberman_6773 🤣
yeah. I wish I'd had the awareness and maturity to identify and respond to this kind of behavior in a healthy, self-protective way from the beginning. Not a fun experience. I wonder how common it is.
@@Olethros0157 I’m sure my responses were increasingly awful….but it’s like a human repeatedly slapping a tiger…..
Absolutely it hard out there
This was relatively well balanced that didn't put all of the blame on men as is our cultural norm. What was left out was the legal system. It's not a no fault divorce system. It's a his fault divorce system in which who ever accepts traditional masculine responsibilities with masculine sacrifices will be exploited by the legal system. This creates a situation in which women bounce on marriage when ever they are bored or tempted by another option.
As an example of our his fault divorce system, I did a meetup group hike two weeks ago in which there was one man who hasn't seen his kids since December 2022 and another man who spent the previous weekend in jail because he got laid off and his amazon delivery money wasn't enough to allow him to eat and pay the $2,500 per month lifetime alimony. He foolishly stayed legally married to an abusive women so that her and their kids and her kids could have medical insurance. Now he is paying for that self sacrifice with lifetime alimony that he owes even during retirement. This means he needs to work until death or he goes back to jail.
I haven't seen my oldest 4 kids in 9 years. I spoke briefly to my oldest (now 18) he basically hates me and drank all of the koolaid his sociopathic mother gave him. Fuk these marriages and relationships. If I do relationship again it will hopefully be with someone in another county
He's pretty much in jail I'd just go to real jail in his case.
I honestly thought I was done with dating, when I got married in the late 90s. We were young, but both of us knew it was meant to be, and it was. I do not have the bitter divorce story of so many people. We said our vows, "Until death do us part," and meant it. The only problem is that I assumed we would be both old and grey when that happened.
So, now, here I am, in my late 40s, facing the prospect of dating again. My wife passed nearly 3 years ago and I am slightly reluctant to get out there again. The world of dating has drastically changed since I was last in it. Plus, even without the technological changes, dating in your 40s is different than dating in your teens and early 20s, when I last participated. While both my sons are grown young adults, most women in my dating pool are going to be divorced, and, likely, will still have children at home. If am going to be brutally honest, I raised my kids, and loved every minute of it, but I am done with that and don't want to do it again. I would prefer if my next interaction with children was when I have grandchildren.
Well said sir
I would point out that a man in his 40’s doing well for himself and in good shape can be attractive even to late 20’s and 30’s women. As a man you’re not restricted to 40 old women.
She's changed gynocentrick is still going I thought she was a decent lady talking about domestic violence in man from women like domestic now she's doing this another chameleon
Honestly I wouldn't go for any women who use online dating or actively use social media. The odds she wrongly thought men wanted anything more than low effort sex is scary high. And since we know men select down for hook ups, it causes women to experience men outside their commitment range and that'll make it near impossible to appreciate or be aroused by men on their level. This is a much larger issue than anyone is willing to accept.
She did say top 10% of men get 80% of the online women attention
Depends who you are and where u are in life. Sorry forgot 6’ or more 6 pack, 6 figures
@@capncrush6729its not 80/10 or 80/20 its 100/5
@@wisdomandy9361 I never thought about that perspective. Thanks for the insight
The much larger issue that no one seems to accept at all is in fact that most men only really aim at women who are way beyond their level (usually looks). It's the men that are sickening society with always wanting what thay cannot have, and that's usually preetty girls/beautiful women. Why don't you follow your own stream of thinking, get honest about how you look and what you can offer and start choosing according to YOUR level ?
Hate to say it, but just because you are an exception to the rules by getting married through Bumble doesn’t mean we can all sidestep the landscape and just choose to be in your shoes. I have always been authentic, intentional, honest, caring and as much fun as possible.. can you guess how that ended up for me EVERY SINGLE TIME? Not only do I get dumped or cheated on but then I have to live the shame of being called “weak” for desiring a real relationship and that it’s my fault for chasing them off. I don’t care what anybody says anymore.. it has been proven to me beyond the shadow of any doubt that women are disgusted by decent men.
Give yourself permission to give up if it's hurting you. But don't close your heart because it will be worse when you realize you missed an opportunity out of spite for what others have done to you.
@@derendohoda3891I second this. Many women have disgusted me and when I put in effort to become attractive and boyfriend material, girls either wanted to have sex or could not deal with my legitimacy and “high value” qualities. Then I met my friend, a girl I am liking more and more. She is giving me the hope that I can find a woman for me. And I feel you, I entirely undestand, but I didn’t shut myself off and I am glad for that
Indecent women don't want decent men. They seek to use them.
Decent women want decent men, but many of them use bad tactics with bad men in hopes that he turns out to be decent. Many of those once decent women become indecent.
Essentially, protect yourself with boundaries that allow you to be a good man but protect you from being exploited. At least, if you get done wrong, you can spare yourself from the worst of it and move on with minimal damage. However, for the emotional damage, you should take time off and think about good and positive things.
Sad, and yet hard to argue with. A good heart is too valuable to let anyone destroy. Keep your heart soft. A good heart is too great a loss to allow.
Watch Casey Zander. You can’t treat women good. You have to treat them like you don’t care. They have to think you are better than them or you will lose.
I am dating the same woman for 2 years and she still says thank you any meal I pay for and tells me she appreciates everything thing I do for her 🌹❤️
"Modern Dating" is so bad; because the laws (and culture) incentivize (and glorify) short-term relationships.
And divorces for the women,like it’s no big deal. It is for most men. It is devastating for most men. Also the culture is she doesn’t have to do anything in the relationship, that is work on herself, work on the relationship, make a commitment, financial, behave. Anytime she doesn’t feel happy she pulls the plug and gets paid, all the while the men are blamed as the cause of the breakdown.
I will die alone before I fall for a marketing scheme where I am commodifying myself alongside a bunch of sociopaths. (Use dating apps or social media.)
Incredibly well put, I read your comment three times and I appeal to the channel creator to pin your words right below the video. Goes without saying I second your thoughts.
Dating is just not worth it. Too much risk and too many bad experiences
Yes, unlike wom3n, when WE get burned enough, we stop touching the burner. Wom3n oth...
The problem, for me, is honestly, i just
don't care at all. I'm done. And delighted with my singleness.
Alone, but not lonely.
If you are really done, what are you doing here?
People cant be "done" with dating and listen to someones take about dating? So married people shouldn't watch this either?
@@leebishop7591 It is not a matter of CAN or CAN NOT, it is a matter of consistency. If you see a video like that it is because deep there you still have some hope.
I would try dating foreign women. I would totally agree with dating Western women unless if you find a diamond in the rough or you get married young It's pretty much garbage now but there is still a couple billion pretty awesome women around the world that have very good attitudes much more conservative and to keep themselves in good shape.
I respect your perspective! It’s empowering to embrace singleness and prioritize self-contentment. Just make sure to stay open to new experiences and connections when the time feels right. While being alone can be fulfilling, you might find joy in unexpected friendships or relationships that add to your happiness.
whats wrong is if the guy treats her seriously and makes it clear he wants to marry her, the girl gets put off and goes for the guy who doesnt care about her, she should be like 'great this guy isnt just going to sleep with me, hes a good guy i should be with him' but that isnt what happens IRL, the guy who ignores them they sre attracted to, something is seriously wrong with them, i dont expect them to like the loser who wants them bad, but if a nice guy good looking comes along and gives them the impression he is serious they get turned off.
That happened to me. Broke my heart. She had a really rough childhood and bad relationship experiences. My therapist thinks she "love bombed" me. Showered me with affection so I would be really into her and give her loads of attention and affection back. She did this to feel good about herself. To feel like she is wanted and desired. But then she got her fill and moved on to someone else. Without telling me. My therapist suggested that she might not feel like she deserves to be treated well. That's why she ends things.
Shut up evil chameleon
Been married, divorced, and now single again. While I appreciate the positive message of this video espousing the benefits of marriage, in TODAY'S WORLD, marriage is a very bad deal for the vast majority of men. MAYBE a few decades or a few generations in the future, things might change, but for now marriage is a bad deal for men. I would strongly advise men young and old to avoid marriage. Date as much as you can. Fall in love. Have long meaningful relationships, but do not sign that legal contract of marriage. Somewhere along in the marriage, the benefits of marriage evaporate. The intimacy and caring and even sex disappears. You may be left with a grumpy bitter aging woman who is nothing like the wife you married. The inevitable divorce will deplete you of the money and resources you sacrificed and worked for a lifetime. Skip all that pain and expense and disappointment.
True. The law is completely on the side of the woman. If you're absolutely dead sure what you're doing, do get married. Otherwise, no way.
@@earx23 everybody thinks they are 100% sure about getting married. That's why they do it. Unfortunately, most are wrong.
@@explorermike19 50%
@@earx23 50% of marriages end in divorce, but many people are miserable in their marriage and stay married.
What’s the point of sterile relationships you are promoting as an alternative to marriage? If there’s no possibility of a relationship leading to the formation of a healthy family, then i'd rather stay celibate.
Every time I watch one of your videos I heal a little bit.
Phenylethylamine production ceases in 75% of women in relationships at around the 18 month to 2 year mark. That time period is the only statistically significant factor. Less than 20% of men ceased production in the course of the 5 year study. The "natural" loss of interest in sex that you are partially describing is only natural for women. With no guarantee of continued sexual supply after that - almost guaranteed - loss of interest and no social contract to protect men from not having their own needs while still being expected to meet all of hers.... Combine that with universal social messaging that women should tap out of their relationship as soon as they are unhappy while men who do so are scum and I think you've got some deeper challenges to face if you want to rebuild faith in long term relationships for men.
One more little objection. The belief that men sort women into 2 groups is very problematic. Men sort women into 3 groups. Those we would consider viable for a long term relationship, those we would have casual sex with and, by far the largest group, those with whom we would never be interested in either. The fact that you can't conceptualize that a man might not be delighted to have sex with any woman who wants him is classic rape culture.
Men also lose interest in physical intimacy too. See "The Coolidge Effect". I agree with your point around pro-divorce culture and people unnecessarily divorcing to protect the kids from an unhappy marriage. This is very problematic for relationship stability but millions of men keep getting married every year, and there are plenty of unmarried simps who want to get married.
@@marriagecausesdivorce7540 Thanks. I had already clearly acknowledged that a percentage of men lose interest - 20% over the course of the 5 year study - to be exact. The answer to both of your points is "rates" which are always more important than absolute numbers. For example 75% is much larger than 20% . While there are still plenty of people getting married the marriage rate is steeply declining while the percentage of young men not looking for a relationship at all has leapt about 10% in less than 2 years. If you want babies being born to support you when you retire (and you really should) then these rates of change should scare you.
Phenylethlamine? Can that be be taken through pill or liquid to help boost it? I swear I’ve seen that supplement around
@@brianmeen2158 Hadn"t occurred to me but I don"t see why not, in theory. It is, after all, just another amphetamine... And because of that anyone selling it as a supplement could get a visit from the DEA any time now. Also, if legality doesn't bother you, you might as well just take ecstacy, it has the same general effect on your desire to rub yourself on things.
When I googled rape culture the definition is a society that normalizes rape and abuse as acceptable. If this is the society I live in, it’s funny that I’ve never seen that messaging. All I have ever seen is that rape is wrong and not tolerated.
I cannot see the connection between leaving out one category of women, women a man not interested in period, and rape culture. I agree there is that 3’rd category, but cannot see how leaving that category out implies rape culture.
I think she left that third category out because she was talking about women men have interest in and how men categories those women. In that context, the third category is irrelevant.
I am 53 and I stopped dating 7 years ago. If you wait until you're older, you mainly meet people with mounds of baggage. It's to the point that dating doesn't sound even fun in the least.
Back when I was in high school and university, it was exciting. There was so many great attitudes. No one had really started their lives, and picked up their adult life.
We as a species will one day have to getting dating offline and have people meet and mingle in local areas. Stop having all the women chase all the percieved great guys through online dating, that gets them ran through, bitter and man-hating.
They do, and the diseases, I stopped same time, had met a gal at a speed dating but she using me for sex while I use her for comfort, I figure may as well let my heart get broke one last time, felt great because I knew that was probably it for me.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being straightforward and clear with your intentions. Casual, intentional or otherwise.
You have to play the game, being straightforward won't get you what you want, learn to speak the language of women
You will not get sex from almost all women if you be direct. You have to dance.
Yeah until you get friendzoned.
There is much wrong with casual intentions (I assume you mean hooking up here). Casual s*x shows total disrespect for the inherent dignity and personhood of a woman.
@@jessejames88 if it's mutual, and assuming it's a heterosexual interaction, what about the dignity and personhood of the man?
They KNOW the men they're sleeping with are seeing other women. They're buying lottery tickets, hoping that by sleeping with the 9, that she'll be the lucky 6 to hold him down. Or she's delusional and thinks she's a 10 and that she's the one saying no to all the 9s and when she's done having fun she'll "let" one of them take care of her for the rest of her life.
A lot of them overrate themselves because they think men are attracted to their degrees, jobs, snarky personalities, etc.
@@catsnchords They don't think that, nobody ever did anything to make them believe that. If they think that, they convinced themselves with no evidence
@@michaelhoudecki3657 A lot of them do think like that. I've seen it from dating career type women myself. Mainstream media, their teachers, peers, colleagues, dating coaches, etc. reinforce that "they're a catch", that they "intimidate men" with their success.
Women can have sex and not worry about being forced to support a child. Men can't. Discrimination based on sex is illegal. This is a Human Rights issue. Men's Rights matter.
Men have the right to keep their zipper up. 🤷🏻
Unalienable rights come with inherent personal responsibility. Such is the nature of liberty. I wish you luck in the future, friend.
I was baffled as to why anyone would post a video at 6am until I realized you're in Tel Aviv. לילה טוב!
Good catch! It’s 6:30am here now 😊
בוקר טוב!
yep, my wife for example for the last few years makes double of what I make. However she works 80+ hours a week, comes home only to sleep, almost doesn't see our kids anymore. Before she stayed home, was working on her degree and I worked every day to support the family. Now I work from home full time, take care of the house and the kids. But now she is miserable and resents me for making less than her. Sickening ..
The work-out part we men have control of. The job part? Highly dependent on the local economy whether positions are available or not (mostly not in many places within North America). That part's not always our fault.
You didn’t give much of an explanation of why the guy should pay.
Frankly, it’s rather parasitic that women expect men to pay.
Exactly !
Find the one who does not expect it, they are not all the same
It's called being a gentleman.. Let me guess, you believe that opening a door is degrading, right?
@@Aleksas-oj1biDid you even read Manana’s comment?
@Your reply contained no explanation. Just entitlement.
I love faithfulness and commitment. I have stood by and fought for my family, even while my wife betrayed me in so many ways. I fight for my kids and the future of their children having 1 set of grandparents to visit. I mourn what I thought I had and didn’t. Be faithful, don’t hurt someone in the worst way, unfaithfulness.
You don't ask a fish for advice on how to fish. This "be authentic and be yourself" stuff will leave you alone as woman after woman walks away as they lose what little attraction they had to begin with. That is a fact. If you really want to torpedo your changes, let her know up front you want marriage. She will look for a man that is likely "better' because he has options and isn't worried about settling down. Often times, women look to each other to know what they want because they can't figure it out on their own. Reread my last sentence and you get the picture of what is going on...
That is probably the best thing she said. Problem is if you don't know what "be authentic and be yourself" means? What does it mean to you?
"You don't ask a fish..." Indeed. And on top of that, some fish will say "We are protected by the great white shark who will eat you alive if you dare fish in our waters!"
As a woman, I specifically chose my partner because he’s kind and authentic with me.
Also, if fish could speak English, I’m sure they’d gladly tell us what their favorite food is.
SO NICE to hear someone putting out a video talking about so much of this stuff. Was just discussing how social media has fomented this weird sort of xenophobia and a desire for surface-level-only connections. And it's wild, because these people that get on social media ostensibly with the purpose of "making new friends" all also "hate small talk"...which is literally all social media is and is necessarily restricted to by the limited nature of posting. Somewhere in the last 20-30 years, people stopped being taught the mechanical process of conversational flow, i.e.: small talk leads to Big Talk leads to Common Ground Discovery leads to ACTUAL CONNECTION.
You can't just skip small talk and go straight to Big Talk. And discussing common interests is still only surface level if the conversation never strays into something that MEANS something to either party. Sure, we can both like pineapple on pizza, but if we then never SHARE A PIZZA TOGETHER, that knowledge is irrelevant surface level information and will never MEAN anything to each other except as an interesting data point.
The double bind thing is SO real and such a pain to deal with. We're told to be open and show vulnerability, but if we do, she immediately perceives this as weakness and shuffles us out of the "potential mate" category and into the "just a friend" category. This is counterproductive for all parties involved, both in the near term and the long term. It destroys the thing she was hoping for, by her own counterintuitive and often completely subconscious decision, and teaches him that he was wrong for opening up.
Glad to have run across your channel!
Can you get a relationship? Mostly, no. Can you keep a relationship should you happen to get one? Also, mostly no. (Do prenuptial agreements work? Mostly, no...)
Wow.. An extremely well put and comprehensive break down of Modern Dating.
Thanks and I look forward to viewing more of your content....Oh and I subscribed 🕊️❤️
I’m a 60 y/o guy. Divorced for 17 yrs and pretty much single since. Not my choice on the divorce. I want to be in a compatible, committed relationship but I despise dating.
I have absolutely no desire to go through the dating bullshit. I do not trust women’s intentions. So it looks like I’ll will be alone from here on out. Sucks but it’s safer
I am 36. Same story. But no marriage. Before system's penalize women for divorcing. It will be encouragement for divorce. Right call buddy. Its best if you pay Escorts for social interactions. No. Commitment but you'll have a person.
People need you to keep making videos. You say what i think, but cant always put into words. I love the hour long deep dives you do. Been listening at work and hope you keep going!
Nothing wrong with modern dating, it's modern women that's the problem, even if you have the best of the best which I do, it's a daily emotional roller coaster,
@@bassw1758 Reminds me of all those classic Hollywood films where the man just slaps the woman and everything goes on like, “yeah, I had that coming….gonna behave now. Thank you, sir.”
Notice how you are villainized. Jealous women will destroy her, hence the rollercoaster ride.
It’s ridiculous to only blame one gender for modern dating. Anyone that takes a deep dive into why we are at this point would come out blaming both sexes
@@brianmeen2158 that’s because feminism is only enforceable by men.
I tend to agree 🙌
Roni, thank you for explaining the problems with dating. I am an older man who finds it difficult to find a mate after a 4 yr relationship.
There's nothing for us out here 😂. If you get someone you like and is willing to stick around. Try and stick to them cause its cold in the streets
I don’t know. I liked my last girlfriend a lot, but she was an abusive, ungrateful tyrant to me more often than not.
Being single is better.
Agreed.
Probably one of the best videos I’ve seen in a while.
Now here’s what I liked about it: I pretty much enjoyed the entire video, but the part that resonated with me on an emotional level, was your dating advice surprisingly enough.
I am a 40 year old, single father trying to raise a son on my own in a world. I do not understand. As far as dating goes I long ago gave up on any hope of finding somebody who would actually accept me for the values I place on morality, work and for who I am rather than what I can give them materially.
I’ve pretty much accepted the fact that I’m going to die alone, but what truly bothers me and disturbs me is that my son is 19 and doesn’t have a girlfriend, has never had a girlfriend and doesn’t seem inclined towards having a girlfriend. Most likely for many of the reasons you have mentioned and what’s worse is, I can’t help him in that regard also for the reasons you have mentioned! So literally everything that you have mentioned I have experienced am watching play out in front of my eyes every day.
I believed as you do when I was younger. Went to college, got a good job, got married, bought a big house, got it *paid off*, had a child. When my son was 3 my wife wanted a divorce. Had to sell the house. But I didn't give up, found a new wife, raised my son in joint custody. But pretty much the same thing happened again. And I know people who believe in marriage so much that they've done all that as much as 4 times! But I've given up. I have several ladies who enjoy my company and appreciate my support but are fairly independent. I message each of them when I feel like seeing them. Occasionally they message me. We get together when we want to. I do what I feel like doing all the time. I'm much happier. Marriage may be good for society, but it's horrible for the individual. And like anything that's good for society but bad for the individual (taxes for example) in order to exist it will have to be enforced with an iron fist. It's not going to be something people do voluntarily.
Those last 2 sentences are spot-on; I expect bachelor taxes (which will be distinct from higher taxes for singles) before too much longer. Somebody's gotta be the pay-pig.
The wrong marriage is horrible for the person, the right marriage will literally make your life. Selecting an appropriate partner is difficult, but today peoples minds are broken because we have no patience, and we're all to self-centered.
Another great video 👍
I've been trying to find a female RUclipsr that fully breaks down such topics in order to make the information much more palatable for my female family members. And I'm glad to know that I found you. Thank you so very much for taking the time to comprehensively breaking down these complex topics.
I'm living overseas in Asia. It seems like 98% of women on dating sites there are hookers. Lots of fake profiles too: "I'm single... I'm looking for serious...", but if you contact them, they tell you that they are actually just 'looking for customers'... Are many women just out to sell themselves these days?? - So frustrating... 😢
So much value in this content. As a father of 3 young boys, much good advice and social knowledge to reflect upon and to try and communicate to my kids as part of their education.
5.) the antagonism between the sexes
oh, you mean the attack on men for the last 50 years and the slight pushback by only a small few of them over the last 4? LOL
It's the second video that i watched till the end. Thanks for the time you have took from your real life to post your perspectives, despite being far from perfect ,for me they have one of the most accurate depictions of today's dating culture matters.
I have been unemployed for a while now (my decision) and have really delved deep into the world of podcasts. I can tell you that what you are doing is quite unique and refreshing - despite tackling trendy topics, you do it from a particular angle. Needless to say that being a woman, your anti-feminist content brings an added value that is hard to be found elsewhere (although it seems to be gaining traction thanks to some of the ladies you mentioned here in your podcast). I have already shared some of your episodes with my (pseudo)feminist girl-friends.
Living in Eastern Europe, a former warzone to be precise, I can tell you that dating is a bit easier since feminism hasn't caught on yet, but I see it with younger folks and I do not like it. It becomes even more bizarre since they are using anglicisms to describe notions that do not even exist in our daily reality here, since we were a former communist country and women got "promoted" into legal and social equality way sooner, faster and in a top-down manner. I am afraid the modern American culture will ruin us all everywhere, despite me living in a quite anti-American or at least not a pro-American country (since the US bombed us 25 years ago). I am worried about the future of our civilization, but thanks to your effort and the like-minded people, we might have a chance.
Please keep up the good work. And good luck.
We in LV have the same USA "feminism" importing what is funny, because we already had equal rights for women and that circus is not working, a feminist here is like a curse word for both genders.
I just found your youtube channel and I really love your approach to the topics you speak of. I agree on all of these points. Currently, I (as a female) have not been on a date for around a year and I do not like dating apps... however I wonder if that is the only way to have a chance these days! For all the negative downsides you mentioned I really would rather not!
I'm sorry, but you're wrong. Not about the points your making, but that these are the reasons why dating is problem today. These are minor players that barely contribute. The real issue is internet combined with evolutionary biology. They don't mix. I'm just old enough to have seen the progression from the days of corded phones and pagers to cellphones and internet. When women can go to a space where they can privately select men based on "stats" and looks, they will all choose the same tallest hottest men. That's not negativity, it is objective reality. It used to be that people met through friends, family, and intermingling social circles. Yeah, the tallest hot guys always had the hot girl. But dating was under the public eye. He wasn't finding girls online. He had to talk to them in public. If he was a 9-10 guy, he usually dated a girl that was a 9-10. And sleeping with a 6 would risk him losing his 9-10. He couldn't sleep with the 6 by sliding into her DMs and inviting her over on the DL. He was held to account because he was dating a friend's family member, or at least the popular chick in his hometown. What this meant was 9-10 guy was taken. If 6 girl wanted a man in her life, she was practically forced to actually interact with guys of her own level and choose from them. Now those guys have experienced what a waste of time trying to date is for them, so they are at home playing video games, while 6 girl is getting her back blown out by one 9-10 after another and crying between each one about how there are no good guys out there who will commit to her. Now add on to that that society has convinced every human with a vagina that they are at least an 8 or better, when simple math tells us that at least 50% are actually
dated enough that I know modern dating is often toxic, I used to truly love dating the flirting and just good times, going to plays, rock climbing, scuba, or sailing I rarely went on a date and came home saying that was a waste of time. then 5 yrs ago it flipped fast, more and more I came home and said why did I even go. Women got extremely toxic even holding a door became some act of oppression according to them most dates ended in a bich session of their last one. I know not all women are toxic but it is really not wort the effort to find one, especially with women who falsely project them selves then turn out to be very different
It's crazy to me to look at ancient or primitive peoples (who struggled to even feed themselves, treat their illnesses, or respect each other as humans) and think "We should emulate them. We should be polygamous." Western civilization, the one that brought the largest exponential improvements to all areas of life (law, technology, ethics, medicine, and more) has always been monogamous. It may be weird, but it works. Don't fix it if it ain't broke.
Absolutely agree 🙏🏻♥️
The white world the cuacasian race Without our structure the world would be still in the medieval periods perhaps ruled by the chinese
You are reading it backwards. You think that monogamy is what caused the good times when it is the other way around. The reason why so-called "primitive" societies had polygamy was because it was advantageous to survival. Women flocked to men that could provide for them while the men who could barely even provide for themselves got nothing. There was a reason that men would take on incredibly risky or labor intensive work.
Meanwhile, in the modern centuries - excluding the last few decades - monogamy held prevelant, specifically because more people had access to more wealth. Now with everyone feeling the hurt, it is no surprise that the comfort of monogamy is falling to the wayside. Monogamy is not going to save the world - you have to make the world better if you want people to actually sit down and commit to each other.
We literally have an example in the U.S. with the single largest and wealthiest generation: the Baby Boomer. They (and the monogamous marriages that birthed them) came from an incredibly prosperous time in the U.S., a time that has long since ended. No one should be surprised in the decline in marraiges in this kind of environment.
@@felixfeliciano7011 monogamy was the dominant marital arrangement in the West long before modern prosperity. humanity slogged and scraped and just barely got by for the many millenia when polygamy was dominant. then only a couple thousand years after monogamy became the standard, we got the modern age. Monogamy is a fundament of the West, and the West gave you every good thing you have.
@@felixfeliciano7011 also, if polygamy brings prosperity, why is almost every polygamous culture in existence still primitive, tribal, and backward? and conversely, almost every monogamous culture is at least literate and developing?
This modern day wisdom is so much needed that I'm sad it isn't more shared.
i just can't get back into dating. I've tried but I'm tapping out. 42, been single 14ish years and haven't had sex since 2019. not worth the effort. I go to the gym 4 days a week, do sports, have a great carrer bought a house. There's an ever present void in my all of the time and that natural drive to want a partner can be crushing at times. closed my FB dating profile a week or 2 ago. don't think i'll go back.
Great video and hit a lot of points. I've read David M. Buss' books as well and they're great for giving you insight into the drives behind mate selection. it's always great to hear a womans perspective though so thanks for a great video!
Yeah; more and more of us Resource Pumps are shutting down, and people are starting to notice.
What can I say, time to get a motorcycle or two, haha. I have not given up yet, but since the last drama queen Im really hesitant to risk my high income, comfortable, fun and problem free life :)
@@the_g371go ahead and ask,9/10 it’s most likely not gonna workout but don’t listen to me though, I could be wrong
Thank you for your work. It’s well balanced and contributes greatly to humanity ❤
I’ve been binging on your videos. You explain this so well and concise. Another great video
38:06 no…we shouldn’t pay… we have less money than women nowadays 😅 why on earth we would want to pay?
This is a really solid analysis. I think it has always been hard for people to be vulnerable and the social scripts of the past helped a lot with that.
I loved your video but the part about having a professional looking dating profile is exactly the same as getting hooked on porn. By the way, huge numbers of women consume porn but just don’t admit it. It is an illusion. We didn’t need any of this 35 years ago. It is a sign of mass psychosis. Short of women waking up, only a world war or catastrophic natural disaster will change the mind set of women to the point where they appreciate what have done for women overall and continue to do. Build roads, deliver gas cylinders, design better portable toilets, construct safer homes. Is that not worthy of love?
Good points!
Great Video Roni, you have addressed most of the theories and comments from authors
I think that the statements within 25:00-30:00 regarding men’s ethical accountability within women making an independent decision to hook up on the first date are misled.
Any man consistently pushing a woman to sleep with him early on despite her hesitance is certainly in the wrong, but positing it - and a woman agreeing in her own desire for him - is nothing to blame any man for. VERY dangerous territory if we are implying that a man ought to be looked down upon for the latter.
Only a very small percentage of men are doing this, however, it's the exact opposite in the other direction. It's so easy for women that most of them ARE engaged in this hook-up culture. And then blaming the average guy for the "sins" of chad.
Well done, so many great points.
Thank you for your work. I am a middle aged man who just poured 6 years into a woman I should have cycled through an intelligent screening process in a few weeks or months.
I am grateful to her for enduring the lockdown with me.
However, she was an abusive tyrant.
A great video with a lots of insight into male and female hopesandaspirations, wants and needs and cynicism and disillusions.
Strongly recommended.
Once you truly understand vvomen, you will never ever be able to love again.
The manosphere and social media exposed the dark side of vvhamen‘s nature
Men are waking up and vvomen are terrified!
I hear what you’re saying and my wife of 18 years seduced her young friends husband who she worked with, which should strengthen your point to me, but I won’t let her change who I am. There are some high value women who won’t do that and they’re starting to speak out.
Bad people shouldn’t be given the power of hurting good people into joining them
.
This was a very well done video. Thank you.
I thought there was pretty much an agreement that dating was a bad idea.
Dating is prostitution.
I am an 8, college educated man with a great corporate job, I have no vices, and I have my finances well in control.
I am walking away from dating, LTR’s, and the whole concept of it all.
I stumble into a few casual hookups a year so I don’t have to be celibate either.
To be clear, a loving LTR is definitely what I want the most, but I can also read the handwriting on the wall in our culture.
I’m 53, I’ve had 86 relationships with 86 ladies, 2 marriages & 2 divorces.
I’m done
I think a strategy I should take being 35 years old - is to start regularly going to activities like yoga, salsa, running/hiking groups, and anything where I can naturally also meet women. But still just enjoy the activities. And then make new friends. Just make it a habit, and it will naturally expand social circles.
I don't consider online, it's inadequate. Or bars/clubs and similar places.
Anyone with a "hookup" mentality is always full of insecurities and issues. I just want to meet normal people, and see each other as people first.
I did try that strategy when I lived in the city in America The problem was any single woman that I have for found that was into any of that stuff was very left-wing I mean like universally It's very weird I'm sure there are some women out there I just never came across them who were a political or just normal people. I suggest dating foreign woman since the vast majority of women in the world are not in America or the West in the vast majority of them are not caught up in our weird politics and like traditional roles. Worked wonders for me
Great advice, thank you ❤
Most women by 35 are ran through and disgusting.. why bother the older you get?
Marriage absolutely deserves the negative messaging it gets. It needs an overhaul badly
9:08 exactly!!!! Nowadays it seems we’re rationally going back to irrationality age lol. It’s so weird how we are going backwards willingly 💀💀💀
"I am ready for the hate with that one..." Its sad how the sensible have to apologize for obviously correct opinions for the vast majority of people while the foolish get to openly attack without shame.
Thanks for speaking up, don't pull punches and don't apologize
I haven't had a girlfriend or sex since 2004, 20 yrs, single from my early 20s to early 40s,so so fcking disappointing. I'm 6'3" own my own business, intelligent and kind, I just don't get it. I can't seem to cross paths with someone and make a meaningful connection like in the late 90s early 2000s, maybe it's me, much understanding and care to all single and looking. 🙌❤️
Have your asked your female friends for honest feedback?
@@jayjaydubful yes, but will do it more often, thanks 🙏
2 decades - funny, it was a little less than 2 decades ago that I became aware that I was giving 10X more than I was getting back; I was making the lives of others better, but at cost to my emotional, mental and physical well-being. I determined at that point that I would balance my giving and getting; in addition to reducing my circle of 'friends' by at least 90%, this also had the effect of making me what I now call 'MGTOW by proxy', as all female interest vanished once I made it clear that I would not act as a walking ATM.
The harsh truth is this - Men are not loved; what men provide is loved, but only for as long as we provide it. This is the reason why men are expected to pay for the first date.
This is some serious blue pill propaganda. Marriage used to be good for men but now it's just a vehicle for women to fastrack themselves to financial independence. She avoids this massive elephant in the room and plays on men's desire for purpose in life and sells the idea that women are again the answer to salvation and contentment thus putting you back on the marriage yoke and convincing you that it is all your fault and that the very idea that you even have a woman is the answer to all your prayers.
I like your well-reasoned, balanced and insightful view of many issues that are very relevant to me. I can ask such questions as “Is feminism really progressive or opportunistic?” or “Is your focus on a man’s work ethic or job title a traditional value or just a shield for the entitlement to be taken care of?” At the end of the day, your views give me greater clarity on my own views which often span the divides of socially liberal and conservative. It’s not that I expect to have it all figured out, but feel more comfortable being authentic and accepting the consequences. And for that I’m grateful to you.
Ghosting is not a modern form of communication, ignoring and avoiding are other words for it, not all have learned it properly, particularly receiving it. But with modern communication methods and often large population in the area then easier to be used "successfully". In general it means "I'm not interested anymore, telling you is only waste of time for us both, where you probably want to talk about it to try undo it or say something you think are hurtful in spite or giving you the feel you is the one in control." As all communication it can be used "wrongly", ghosting is often to be used in short acquaintances, or if know the other will try create drama and probably have been given obvious clues in advance.
I just want to feel like I'm not dating the matrix.
I assure you, none of the things you mentioned about the tinder profile will matter if a guy is not 6 ft tall and handsome. Men just need to opt out from the dating apps completely, but the sad truth is that most are just to lazy. Dating apps remove the rejection part for men which seems to be good at a first glance, and that's why they are so popular with men, but that eliminates the opportunity for self-development and becoming resilient. Also that's the opportunity that women almost never have.
Thank you Roni for posting an excellent video. I have many take aways from this video and look fwd to hearing more. As an experienced online dater, i believe your analysis is spot on & resonates so truthfully. Best to you.
Shall we be honest here. Most women end relationships and cheat! Men just want peace and normal behavior. How does this illude you?
Exactly, wize men know modern women don't qualify and are not worth the risks. Hoflation.
Great podcast!
I came across the podcast by chance and couldn't stop listening, though I don't think my girlfriend would be happy to know 'bout it ;)
This analysis overlooks the phenomenon of concealed ovulation and falsely suggests that prehistoric hunter/gatherers somehow also engaged in exclusive pairbonding. This willful ignorance fails to explain the poor choices that women make when selecting potential fathers and the actual challenges of maintaining exclusive sexual relationships
Thank you for observing this. She ignores far too much evidence to get to the conclusions she already prefers.
Thank you for putting this much effort in your videos, really enjoying them!
Forget Western toxic feminist women - find a traditional minded East Asian or Latina woman - you will never regret it.
In the USA or outside the USA?
As a white man I only have relationships of any type with white women and possibly east Asian women but even then I'd rather preserve my race, as I suggest the Japanese do the same
Absolutely wonderful video. I couldn't stop watching. Such a refreshing and balanced perspective.
Really happy to hear that! 🙏🏻♥️
Guys, never pay on the first date! Dont get them a meal vor free!
Yeah maybe if society shifts one day this norm could be reinstated. But not for now
Girls! Stop giving free sex before marriage! The dangers of stingy entitled men looking to score before they've earned it are real !
This video is incredibly informative and well organized for the sheer quantity of knowledge you provided.
I think that there are a lot of jaded men who experienced the negative side of female nature (as I have, I get it), and videos like these attract comments from the worse part of those men. Hating the video because they hate all women.
Without a doubt, making a conscious effort in understanding the sexes and their differences through videos like these is what helps us begin taking the correct steps to healthy philosophies and attitudes toward eachother in romance.
Sorry Roni, no free meals from me. Insisting on paying for the first date is both superficial and archaic. Women have just as much money as men today.
Having the nerve for a woman to have free sex with you before marriage , if someone will ever be so desperate to marry you, now that is truly patriarchal and full of entitlement considering how cheap and greedy you are! :))
I bet you're one of those stingy men who, like so many others, waaaay too many, believe they are worthy of super models only. I pray that men like you end up with angry, controlling women who seem attractive at first and then with time , stop giving affection and sex.
I think this video is on point. I'm glad at how well you're explaining it, but damn does it feel hopeless.
Hope you don't let the negative comments get you down, even if I don't necessarily agree with you on everything or feel like you could have added a bit more, a bit more positivity is needed now, especially when people are so willing to stay down in a depressing rabbit hole.
Thank you! I really appreciate it 🙏🏻♥️
Very thorough and highly informative. I’ll be subscribing. 😎👍🏿💯
Your dating profile advice is generic crap men have heard before. The swipe decision is made in seconds according to studies.
Until women start taking accountability less and less men will commit to women.
The basis for the growth of Western civilization was not only monogamy, but also patriarchy. In primitive hunter tribes, there was no monogamy, there was a tribe like a "big family", the hidden ovulation of women just distinguished us from other higher primates for this. Humans are a polygamous species. Monogamy was artificially introduced by the patriarchy so that men did not have to waste their energy on getting a woman and competing for them. This has been eliminated today.
You're great until you go tribal. Usually about a third of the way through. After that im done. Do better.
She’s a phoney, just like all women.
Well done Roni! I have always wondered why the “polyamorous/non-monogamy” guys always leave out jealousy when they cite evolutionary psychology to make their points. Jealousy is deeply embedded in the most primitive part of our brains precisely to motivate men and women to protect their families. Only the jealous man made sure the kids his wife was having were his. Over the generations, jealousy would be reinforced. Likewise, the jealous female made sure that his efforts and resources would be spent on her and the children. We are only here because our ancestors were jealous.
I’m so glad you touched on oxytocin. The power of the function of our biochemistry cannot be overstated. No amount of ignorant philosophy will ever change how that works. Additionally, an even larger factor in connection and attachment is a massively important concept of interpersonal neurobiology. To me, that is at the core of the pain of a breakup. Learning about psychology and caring about your relationships is a great way to foster healthy neurology and the rest of your health will follow.
And lastly, everyone should study stoicism as close to the source as possible, such as the meditations of Marcus Aurelius. Men in particular can really benefit from it. I can assure you that Stoicism will by no means distance you from your emotional sensitivity. In fact, I believe it enhances it. Being human is an emotional experience from moment to moment until it’s over.
PS your video on Marxism was one of the best I’ve seen, excellent work!
😂😂😂 human beings evolved from chimpanzees....
You're full of cheese.
there is a rumor that women from places where they don't have TV or watch TV the outcomes are better,
but if you bring them back to an area with orwell's viewing screen things go downhill pretty fast.
You reading from a teleprompter is exhausting; meaning you have no expression of emotion.
She isnt even talking about men's perspective and legitimate concerns.
I've loved your videos and have listened to several today, I would say that sometimes men do bond through sex and as such can also be negatively affected by hookup culture.
I had a one night stand a couple years ago that lead me to falling in love with the woman and completely ignoring her very serious psychological red flags including having 4 children each from a different man.
I'll admit tho that I'm much more vulnerable to bonding due to the autism spectrum symptoms I have
No, women do not want serious relationships.
Love this, keep up this good work.
You are not even close to understanding why dating is broken.
Give a few examples then
Antagonism between the sexes part is pretty spot on tho
The antagonism is one of the driving factors of feminism. The word equality, like many other words, lost its meaning long time ago. Most of the rethoric is just projection to put men down or raise women at the expense of men but not for true equality. You notice in the double standards women uphold all the time.
Very true. Men are more or less the same. It is women who have become entitled and incapable of accountability. How can you desire equality and then claim to be above reproach?
its broken because Roni is not in my life
The honey moon effect passes away, true. But as life goes and you're getting older, everything slowly vanishes. Whatever the subject, the object, you'll get used to. Less and less wonders, less and less surprises. This excitingly awesome house you bought in your 20s has become "just your home". A new thing is only new until the next time. It is what I use to call the "seen it all" effect. Time erodes everything. Passion turns into love, love into affection, affection into respect. The hardest being not to mistake the "seen it all" with synical.
Monogamy is not natural. Thats why relationships are work. Also until laws change its not optimal for men to get married. Also stop the simping.
It's not unnatural, humans would be extinct if that was true. Getting into a relationship itself is work, pretty much anything worthwhile is work.
@@eagle162You’re not even making any sense.
If it was natural for humans to be monogamous, we would see very young boys and girls pair up and stay together until death. This is almost non existent.