How interesting that I was having a similar conversation with a friend of mine just yesterday. I'm a super empath, and I know that the level of poverty that I will see when I come there in December will just break my heart. I will want to do something about it while knowing full well that I can't. Fortunately for me, I have done my best to educate myself on all the attempts of scammers and manipulators that I will likely encounter when I move there.
I used to be that way but no more. I’ve heard all the filipino excuses. Too many to list. I now tell them I have no money. That’s it. Some are a little aggressive and persistent but I always tell them the same answer.
Wow , this really hit home with me. I have been a subscriber of your channel because you are always giving sound advice, and truly want to help people to avoid pitfalls pitfalls. You have a protective, empath personality personality. I am the same , but the way you explained the degrees of empathy gave me great insight about myself. I love to help people, I feel great inside if I can help, I want to see people succeed. I Celebrate Celebrate their success. But.... I allowed myself to be taken advantage of many many times ,thinking everyone has a good heart and will appreciate the generous support, help you gave too them. I now know how to say no without guilt, I have to remind myself not everyone deserves my sincerity . Thanks for this video, the empathy in me sees it in you, that's why I follow your channel. Steve , thanks be kind to yourself you are a good man 😊
Great video Steve. I was surprised by the amount of need I encountered in the Philippines. I thought I had seen poverty in the US but the poverty I encountered in the Philippines was much more severe. It took willpower to not help people out, especially one guy I encountered on one of the tourist islands who bugged me a lot to hire him to drive me around. He pushed me to save his number in my phone which I agreed to to get out of the situation. I did not contact him after I walked away. I'm not sure I could ever live in the Philippines long-term. I'm always happy to visit the country in the future.
Excellent VIDEO Steve 😊. I can really relate to this video. I am currently helping 4 families there in the Philippines 🇵🇭. I can't help everyone buy I can make a change for some. Keep the video's comin. Stay Safe 💕 💞 🙏 🙏
It's great to be an empathic person, but many need to learn to extend the same kind of empathy toward themselves. That way it's much harder to get exploited.
Steve, I was really surprised about this video. To be honest, this was one of your best videos. I could honestly tell it came from the heart. So many things in it I found relatable. Thanks.
Glad you came back on videos. And so true why you said . I tell people in this days you can be weak with people. They eat you. That’s why a lot of people get trapped in scamming.
I am an Empathic person. I have a soft heart. However, I am at that STOP point now. I had a Filipina that helped me to realize the STOP point. I appreciate that Filipina friend of mine very much.
Well done brother. Charlie from Boston I’m an empath I needed to hear this. I have gotten much better at saying no and drawing boundaries. I had to learn to know my limits because takers and scammers have none.I value myself so much more today . It is nice to be nice but sometimes our thoughts and ideas are only thoughts and everything we give and do does not come from God. Great job on this video.
Hi Steve. An interesting topic. I definitely have empathic qualities. My tendency is to help others, although not by giving money, but by helping in different ways. I think it’s important to always be aware, pay attention and be on guard. I also like my alone time as well. One of my main hobbies is growing fruit and vegetables following the principles of permaculture. I’d like to share my knowledge and experience.
Now I know why I like your personality. And I always agree with you. We just want to be happy. And the people around us. We want to help but not used. Because we are not things. Have a wonderful day!.
Steve, you helped me with my SRRV last June. (I met you with my Philippine wife) I witnessed you empath qualities. I consider myself an empath (never shared that) and can testify that it isn't a quality that is easy. When a person tends to "feel too much" they are prone to depression, loneliness, and anxiety. I have worked in the mental health field for years helping others to channel my own psychological disposition. I will be returning to the Philippines with challenges ahead. Thank you for being boldly open with your life. .... Robert
Good job, Steve, it’s a very important topic, and just trying to learn how to be diplomatic, and you can only help so much, whatever you’re able or capable of, anyway, I just wanted to say great topic.
This is very recognisable, Steve! I've been told by people who mean well with me that I'm TOO empathic and I've been taken advantage of by people who found a way to twist my empathy in their favour. I've learned a lot from my adventures in the Philippines and I'm less mouldable now than I was when I was still married to my Filipina ex-wife. Still, I keep being attracted to the underdog.
This hit home. Very good information. It's good to set boundaries. Narcs hate the word NO. Guys save your mental/emotional health by learning narcissist red flags! Don't doubt yourself. All it takes is one red flag then run.
I’m actually a little of every thing I think. I will give to people who I am sure needs it. I’ve never been accused of being selfish but mostly cautious. I also sometimes feel like I am a little bit of everything because I worry about how I look and my hygiene especially. I’m always told I smell great all the time but then there are days that I just want to be a slob at home and wear my old clothes. I’m not the type of person who gets mad or try to seek revenge, I’m more worried about my appearance and want to look nice all the time lol. I’m a very quiet person who like you said I am always combing the entire room to see what everyone is doing. Truthfully I just don’t trust people especially in crowds. Maybe it’s from growing up near St.Louis and the large amount of crime and murders but I’m always scanning the rooms to see what each person is doing. I never sit with my back to a door. NEVER !!!
Wow. I needed to hear this. INFP-A who was married to a (western) narcissistic who cheated. Ughh. Been working on myself for the past 5 years. Thank you for this video.
Hi Steve , Great Video. There is nothing wrong with doing good deeds, I try to Manage my empathy by reading and testing people I have helped. Are they taking advantage of kindness consistently ? I am half Filipino and half Spanish American. I have given thousands of dollars to homeless Americans in my lifetime .I'm 59 years old , Empathy DNA is from my Filipino mother's side. Try to control your empathy, sometimes it's not easy. Richard C
Great video Steve, it has been one of the hardest mindsets to put aside and at the same time stay caring, our definition of gift and Filipina's definition are two extremes, after one disastrous encounter I have learned to be a better judge and can now still care without going overboard. Good work
People pleasing and codependency are very real. Yes, Narcs are drawn to certain types. I am empathic but at the same time, I spent many years learning how to say no and how to value myself and be enough. You cannot help everyone, and self comes first as well. TBH you are describing a codependent with anxious attachment. Some folks dont put much stock in the Myers Briggs, but I find that I fall directly into the INFJ-A type. Also people that experienced childhood trauma and abuse are very good at reading people.
Salamat for another good topic Steve …we are same…the percentage of people with NPD is higher …many CEO’s have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and need codependent types for their supply…until they move on to their next willing victim…my ex wife and first filipina gf took full advantage…now i have my boundaries like your shields …dont lie or cheat or ask for money…and a prenup as well lol
You can be an empath in life as long as you have done the work to become self-aware of your strengths and weaknesses. I am an empath of the codependent type, but I had to do a lot of therapy to address it. Now I take no crap from anyone, but I help out when the need is genuine for those I love.
Great video Steve, it's also a little disheartening for me. I'm totally an empathetic dude. I'll do my best to try and educate myself of the ways people try to scam someone before I get there next summer. I'm of the mindset that if I get scammed out of 100-1000 pesos...who cares. If I give someone money to help then that is the reason I am giving.
Yes most nurses, Emt, Mfr, firefighters etc Missionaries, which most seem to hate anymore Smart empaths know to be alone to think it through! Smart! Tc Steve Be safe💪🇺🇲🙏♥️
Easier said then done. I made it a point over my life time to never give money I can't afford to let go of and never see again. During the pandemic for 2 years I worked and took half my pay to support 15 different families in the Philippines. I learn to pay myself first, take care of me and my family first. Then help those who needed help. After all it's just money and last l looked you can't take it with you but it will change people's lives. Some people say I'm a sucker. Some people say, you should be saving that money for your wife and kids. I say my wife and kids don't need it. I've given my kids what they need. They know how to work for what they want and all are independent. You want to help your kids teach them when 1 job doesn't pay the bills then get 2 and if 2 jobs don't pay the bills then get 3 and 4 it's not going to be forever just a season until they are caught up.
That is part of the reason why i wanted to move to the Philippines or Thailand to be around nicer people, to have better relationships and maybe a girlfriend. What you mentioned about empaths struck a cord with me. I tend to exhibit the characteristics you described. I have learned not to be a sucker and still be nice. Overall, it seems as a nice, sensative person it can be difficult to get my needs met especially if im worried about others needs first or how i am perceived. Maybe thats why i enjoy being alone, because then i can take care of my own needs
I am a retired social Worker. I was trained to feel how others feel. I worked a lot with Narcissistic personality types and socio or psychopaths, both as clients, coworkers and employees. Yup.
it was a gradual toughening up for me, when I first arrived here several years ago from America I was overwhelmed many times by the poverty. I had to learn the culture and the history to come to terms with why things are the way they are...
Very good video. I am empathic myself. I think empathy is a great trait in one’s character but I agree with you 100 percent. When I come to the Philippines I have a rule and that’s not to give out money but to help out in other ways. Like cooking a dinner or help out planting some vegetables so they can harvest it. Great video Steve 👍🇨🇦
I had a friend who was a famous stray animals rescuer in China. But there's too much stray dogs and cats for anyone to rescue(in China, people tend to think animal euthanasia to be cruel and unethical). He turned to be a very miserable man and eventually drink himself into death. His life story gave me a lot to think about.
My Filipina wife and I are probably more empathic than is good of our budget, so it has become a necessity to draw lines and to stick with limits. It is very difficult at times because there are so many needs. God bless, take care.
I have a very weird personality. I have a strong degree of both. I'm very caring and love to help. This could be a problem for me there. I've done volunteer work my whole life, and I run two charities. On the flip side, I can be very narcissistic. Borderline psycopath. I'm very into myself. I like to talk about myself, and if I dislike you, i will take advantage and screw you over without a second thought. I think this is why I don't fall for scammers. I can see them coming a mile away and try to flip the situation. Good video though. I enjoyed it
I always had the ability to correctly read people and situations, even as a child I could do it. My nature does not fool me, I get into trouble when I ignore it. I have learned how to tell people no and it doesn't matter how close we are. If you try to guilt me or pressure me into saying yes, I will cut you off, forever if necessary. Some book said, "innocent as a dove, but deadly as a serpent".
I consider myself an empath,If I see a person or animal suffer it's sometimes debilitating. However, I will give when someone is in need. Here in Thailand, people won't take advantage of you for the most part.
Hey Steve. Empath city, pedal to the metal here. It's gotten me into trouble my entire life. But it's just who I am. I'd love to retire to the Phills, but yeah, I'm worried this will get me into bigtime trouble. My "hack" is moving to a provincial expat free area.Expats definitely appear to be a problem. At least, a good healthy chunk of them.
good video . i had one person who always wanted money, eventually i decided to loan her a little money instead of giving and insisted she pay me back before i helped her again . i didn’t want the money back but she never came back again so problem solved
Great video.. And yes, it sounds harsh to close your heart when visiting the Philippines (or any country that has a lot of poverty) but it's sort of necessary.. You can't give in to anyone trying to take advantage of you or random people on the streets begging for money .. Keep to yourself and the ones you hold dear in life. I'm not empathic like that and I have no trouble saying "no"... but still I find situations like that uncomfortable. Also, I'm a believer that the ones with the loudest mouths usually deserve your help the least... I rather help someone who is quiet and modest, someone who wasn't asking for help but you can clearly see that giving them some money or a treat would make their entire day or perhaps week a lot better. Seeing the face of someone like that shine up gives me great satisfaction too, totally worth.
My Filapina wife takes a different approach to loaning money. She loaned 5000 pesos to a person and now she tells people we have no money to loan until we get paid back.
I can feel sorry for people and want to help out, but I also know I can't save everyone, and if I don't take care of myself 1st, then I'm not going to be able to take care of anyone. If you don't learn and use the word NO, you are going to be just as broke as they are. Those that are trying to better themselves and a little break could help them a great deal are a worthy investment, but those that aren't and just expect a handout, would get nothing. (Proverbs 13:4 The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.)
A narcissistic empathetic person will shower love on you, but just to keep you hooked. They will run errands for you because they want you to be at their beck and call in the near future. And just when you start doing things for them, their love stops. THEY VIOLATE YOUR BOUNDARIES IN THE NAME OF LOVE
@@RichTravel1010 Hi Steve, your videos are more than just joy, they are informative and educational. I learn from them. Keep up the good work. Happy Columbus day !
I have at least a dozen people that I lent money to . I don't bother chasing them to pay me back because they avoid me like the plague. And im fine with that ! 😜🤣
Considering the cultural differences between the US and the Philippines, I think this is a great topic that you should expand on. I consider myself to be somewhat empathic and have been in trouble with that quality from time to time, especially while traveling in foreign countries. Great video.
Hello Steve in a previous video you mentione about being able to help with visa and I really need some help. I dont know What you will need to start the process and is it possible to start with a tourist visa and from the Phillipines upgrade to retiremnt visa. Thank you in advance
Something about that care giving thing , yes absolutely every one needs a break , it's like walking in the woods, watch that bear!!! Do they have bears in the Philippines?
You sir a kindred spirit - god helps them that help themselves. Predatory broke expats actual prey on the unwary as a profession to keep their lifestyle-screw rhe bleeding heart suckers. Some truly evil people there, take another man’s last dollar not to mention his women if the opportunity arises.
I talk to many call centers girls, who take money from foreign men, I ask how you can do that a sleep at night, They smile and say, Well they are not us, once you make a human, not a real person its is easy. I like a person have a chicken here as a pet, He loved that chicken, but another will put in a cock fight, and feel noting when it die, same, I feel sorry for everyone when younger, give my last dine help a person, feel sad when see a person hurting, but over 60+ years of seeing life, I now am 90% the other way,. Life highway made that way, i still sometime i help. But its got to really move me, which mostly dont anymore,
Sadly as guys get older the empathy grows and younger people especially the ones with little regard will be hitting these guys up for money at will. It's far worst in the Philippines once you give them money they never thank you or anything. It's almost like it's expected.
The other thing I would like to know is why the people of the Phils cant get a visitor Visa to the US?! We have a friend going on her third try to visit What do they do with all that money they get to deny each Visa? 180 bucks to say "denied" is a lot of money to say that once an hour in an 8 hour day! Talk about a scam! It just seems very unfair to Asian countries🤔 What do you think Steve?
Steve I'm Pinay living here in the US for 25 yrs, and it's sad to say that u are 100% right . Because that's the Pilipino mentality. They take advanage of you. Because they envy what you have. And think u obligate to share what u have.I know filipinos move back to the US and had a beautiful home to retired in pinas. But they move back here in the US because they don't have peace of mine. Every single day somebody's knockeng their door early in the morning to asked money. What a sad and embarrasing. So those expat be careful to buy even those million of houses. Cz u don't know what's gonna happen. U worked hard ur money ret. Pls be careful.
live alone, schedule your time 7 days a week. plan out dates with your girlfriends. when the demand for money comes to you. let them know your money comes in after 2 weeks. now, cut them off before you pay out...
I rather prefer the 1st amendment. There is no limitation to what you can say in America. However people must remind themselves that they are not in America when posting on your channel. There are in your world. Again, I prefer to adhere to the first Amendment, but that only, sadly covers the USA only.. Being vulgar is just being vulgar, I have never seen the messages, I rarely read them. So I don't know. Sometimes you have to show pigs to be actual pigs. Anyway, hope you have a better day and an even better tomorrow. I too suffer for sciatic nerve pain... Horrible getting old. I shoulda tried harder for that Medal of Honor when I was younger. lol.. haha.
I listen to a few expat channels and this is the first I've heard anyone talk at length and in detail on this subject. Very VERY interesting!
Wow, thank you!
How interesting that I was having a similar conversation with a friend of mine just yesterday.
I'm a super empath, and I know that the level of poverty that I will see when I come there in December will just break my heart.
I will want to do something about it while knowing full well that I can't.
Fortunately for me, I have done my best to educate myself on all the attempts of scammers and manipulators that I will likely encounter when I move there.
Thanks for sharing!
Another master class from The University of life
Interesting video...I'm glad you did this.
I used to be that way but no more. I’ve heard all the filipino excuses. Too many to list. I now tell them I have no money. That’s it. Some are a little aggressive and persistent but I always tell them the same answer.
Thanks Steve for doing this video.. Very good topic. Happy you took the time to make it. Thanks again. You get 5 stars for this video topic. ⭐⭐⭐⭐ ⭐
An excellent assessment !
Well said.
I believe my father had that gift.
A true empath seems to be gifted, but also vulnerable.
Wow , this really hit home with me. I have been a subscriber of your channel because you are always giving sound advice, and truly want to help people to avoid pitfalls pitfalls. You have a protective, empath personality personality. I am the same , but the way you explained the degrees of empathy gave me great insight about myself. I love to help people, I feel great inside if I can help, I want to see people succeed. I Celebrate Celebrate their success. But.... I allowed myself to be taken advantage of many many times ,thinking everyone has a good heart and will appreciate the generous support, help you gave too them. I now know how to say no without guilt, I have to remind myself not everyone deserves my sincerity .
Thanks for this video, the empathy in me sees it in you, that's why I follow your channel. Steve , thanks be kind to yourself you are a good man 😊
I like this guy !!!! godbless you !
He's very nice and humble.
Great video Steve. I was surprised by the amount of need I encountered in the Philippines. I thought I had seen poverty in the US but the poverty I encountered in the Philippines was much more severe. It took willpower to not help people out, especially one guy I encountered on one of the tourist islands who bugged me a lot to hire him to drive me around. He pushed me to save his number in my phone which I agreed to to get out of the situation. I did not contact him after I walked away.
I'm not sure I could ever live in the Philippines long-term. I'm always happy to visit the country in the future.
Excellent VIDEO Steve 😊. I can really relate to this video. I am currently helping 4 families there in the Philippines 🇵🇭. I can't help everyone buy I can make a change for some.
Keep the video's comin.
Stay Safe 💕 💞 🙏 🙏
Thanks for sharing!
It's great to be an empathic person, but many need to learn to extend the same kind of empathy toward themselves. That way it's much harder to get exploited.
Steve, I was really surprised about this video. To be honest, this was one of your best videos. I could honestly tell it came from the heart. So many things in it I found relatable. Thanks.
Thank you for your service sir‼️ 🇺🇸
Much appreciated
Glad you came back on videos. And so true why you said . I tell people in this days you can be weak with people. They eat you. That’s why a lot of people get trapped in scamming.
Spot on insight! Do more of this type of vid! 👍………very valuable information to survive the complex layers of the Philippine culture!
I am an Empathic person. I have a soft heart. However, I am at that STOP point now. I had a Filipina that helped me to realize the STOP point. I appreciate that Filipina friend of mine very much.
Well done brother. Charlie from Boston I’m an empath I needed to hear this. I have gotten much better at saying no and drawing boundaries. I had to learn to know my limits because takers and scammers have none.I value myself so much more today . It is nice to be nice but sometimes our thoughts and ideas are only thoughts and everything we give and do does not come from God. Great job on this video.
Hi Steve. An interesting topic. I definitely have empathic qualities. My tendency is to help others, although not by giving money, but by helping in different ways. I think it’s important to always be aware, pay attention and be on guard. I also like my alone time as well. One of my main hobbies is growing fruit and vegetables following the principles of permaculture. I’d like to share my knowledge and experience.
It seems like you’re helpful and generous person. Thank you and be safe.
Now I know why I like your personality. And I always agree with you. We just want to be happy. And the people around us. We want to help but not used. Because we are not things. Have a wonderful day!.
Thank you, as a sensitive INFJ, this is really good information to know.
Steve, you helped me with my SRRV last June. (I met you with my Philippine wife) I witnessed you empath qualities. I consider myself an empath (never shared that) and can testify that it isn't a quality that is easy. When a person tends to "feel too much" they are prone to depression, loneliness, and anxiety. I have worked in the mental health field for years helping others to channel my own psychological disposition. I will be returning to the Philippines with challenges ahead. Thank you for being boldly open with your life. .... Robert
Thanks ❤️🙏🏻👍
Good job, Steve, it’s a very important topic, and just trying to learn how to be diplomatic, and you can only help so much, whatever you’re able or capable of, anyway, I just wanted to say great topic.
No way can it be worse than the wild days of the 70-80 period.
I'll find out soon enough.
Heading to Subic next month.
This is very recognisable, Steve! I've been told by people who mean well with me that I'm TOO empathic and I've been taken advantage of by people who found a way to twist my empathy in their favour. I've learned a lot from my adventures in the Philippines and I'm less mouldable now than I was when I was still married to my Filipina ex-wife. Still, I keep being attracted to the underdog.
This hit home. Very good information. It's good to set boundaries. Narcs hate the word NO. Guys save your mental/emotional health by learning narcissist red flags! Don't doubt yourself. All it takes is one red flag then run.
I’m actually a little of every thing I think. I will give to people who I am sure needs it. I’ve never been accused of being selfish but mostly cautious. I also sometimes feel like I am a little bit of everything because I worry about how I look and my hygiene especially. I’m always told I smell great all the time but then there are days that I just want to be a slob at home and wear my old clothes. I’m not the type of person who gets mad or try to seek revenge, I’m more worried about my appearance and want to look nice all the time lol. I’m a very quiet person who like you said I am always combing the entire room to see what everyone is doing. Truthfully I just don’t trust people especially in crowds. Maybe it’s from growing up near St.Louis and the large amount of crime and murders but I’m always scanning the rooms to see what each person is doing. I never sit with my back to a door. NEVER !!!
Wow. I needed to hear this. INFP-A who was married to a (western) narcissistic who cheated. Ughh. Been working on myself for the past 5 years. Thank you for this video.
Great to learn about all this. Great information. Thanks.
You say it as it is Steve - and yup - you care a lot and you share a lot with us. Thank you.
Hi Steve , Great Video. There is nothing wrong with doing good deeds, I try to Manage my empathy by reading and testing people I have helped. Are they taking advantage of kindness consistently ? I am half Filipino and half Spanish American. I have given thousands of dollars to homeless Americans in my lifetime .I'm 59 years old , Empathy DNA is from my Filipino mother's side. Try to control your empathy, sometimes it's not easy.
Richard C
Well said!
Great video Steve, it has been one of the hardest mindsets to put aside and at the same time stay caring, our definition of gift and Filipina's definition are two extremes, after one disastrous encounter I have learned to be a better judge and can now still care without going overboard. Good work
People pleasing and codependency are very real. Yes, Narcs are drawn to certain types. I am empathic but at the same time, I spent many years learning how to say no and how to value myself and be enough. You cannot help everyone, and self comes first as well. TBH you are describing a codependent with anxious attachment. Some folks dont put much stock in the Myers Briggs, but I find that I fall directly into the INFJ-A type. Also people that experienced childhood trauma and abuse are very good at reading people.
Salamat for another good topic Steve …we are same…the percentage of people with NPD is higher …many CEO’s have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and need codependent types for their supply…until they move on to their next willing victim…my ex wife and first filipina gf took full advantage…now i have my boundaries like your shields …dont lie or cheat or ask for money…and a prenup as well lol
Thank you for this video. It really helped me to better clarify my empathic character.
Very well explained, sharing with my family. Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
It's fine
Very insightful video. Really enjoyed it 🙏🏻
Wow ! Very useful talk today. Good to remember.
You can be an empath in life as long as you have done the work to become self-aware of your strengths and weaknesses.
I am an empath of the codependent type, but I had to do a lot of therapy to address it. Now I take no crap from anyone, but I help out when the need is genuine for those I love.
Excellent video. Thank you
Great video Steve, it's also a little disheartening for me. I'm totally an empathetic dude. I'll do my best to try and educate myself of the ways people try to scam someone before I get there next summer. I'm of the mindset that if I get scammed out of 100-1000 pesos...who cares. If I give someone money to help then that is the reason I am giving.
Yes most nurses, Emt, Mfr, firefighters etc Missionaries, which most seem to hate anymore Smart empaths know to be alone to think it through! Smart! Tc Steve Be safe💪🇺🇲🙏♥️
Remember the ten commandments rule God is Fair Everyone has their Work Blamers are Satanic Be Wise
You're such a good guy Steve. Great video. Very insightful.
I appreciate that!
Easier said then done.
I made it a point over my life time to never give money I can't afford to let go of and never see again.
During the pandemic for 2 years I worked and took half my pay to support 15 different families in the Philippines.
I learn to pay myself first, take care of me and my family first.
Then help those who needed help.
After all it's just money and last l looked you can't take it with you but it will change people's lives.
Some people say I'm a sucker.
Some people say, you should be saving that money for your wife and kids.
I say my wife and kids don't need it.
I've given my kids what they need.
They know how to work for what they want and all are independent.
You want to help your kids teach them when 1 job doesn't pay the bills then get 2 and if 2 jobs don't pay the bills then get 3 and 4 it's not going to be forever just a season until they are caught up.
Good advice. Filipinos are needy there in the Philippines
That is part of the reason why i wanted to move to the Philippines or Thailand to be around nicer people, to have better relationships and maybe a girlfriend. What you mentioned about empaths struck a cord with me. I tend to exhibit the characteristics you described. I have learned not to be a sucker and still be nice. Overall, it seems as a nice, sensative person it can be difficult to get my needs met especially if im worried about others needs first or how i am perceived. Maybe thats why i enjoy being alone, because then i can take care of my own needs
I am a retired social Worker. I was trained to feel how others feel. I worked a lot with Narcissistic personality types and socio or psychopaths, both as clients, coworkers and employees. Yup.
it was a gradual toughening up for me, when I first arrived here several years ago from America I was overwhelmed many times by the poverty. I had to learn the culture and the history to come to terms with why things are the way they are...
Very informative video Steve ….
Thanks 👍
Very good video. I am empathic myself. I think empathy is a great trait in one’s character but I agree with you 100 percent. When I come to the Philippines I have a rule and that’s not to give out money but to help out in other ways. Like cooking a dinner or help out planting some vegetables so they can harvest it. Great video Steve 👍🇨🇦
I had a friend who was a famous stray animals rescuer in China. But there's too much stray dogs and cats for anyone to rescue(in China, people tend to think animal euthanasia to be cruel and unethical).
He turned to be a very miserable man and eventually drink himself into death.
His life story gave me a lot to think about.
Excellent, insightful video Steve
Glad it was helpful!
Thanks great video!!!
Great vid 👍
Great Video Steve!!! So true!
nice video
My Filipina wife and I are probably more empathic than is good of our budget, so it has become a necessity to draw lines and to stick with limits. It is very difficult at times because there are so many needs. God bless, take care.
True on the catch line.
You nailed it steve , thank you .
I have a very weird personality. I have a strong degree of both. I'm very caring and love to help. This could be a problem for me there. I've done volunteer work my whole life, and I run two charities.
On the flip side, I can be very narcissistic. Borderline psycopath. I'm very into myself. I like to talk about myself, and if I dislike you, i will take advantage and screw you over without a second thought.
I think this is why I don't fall for scammers. I can see them coming a mile away and try to flip the situation. Good video though. I enjoyed it
Time is money, money is time. This is something many people forget.
What would you prefer, money, or time? The choice is obvious. They are very different…..
@@Capone-376 be grateful for both.
I always had the ability to correctly read people and situations, even as a child I could do it. My nature does not fool me, I get into trouble when I ignore it. I have learned how to tell people no and it doesn't matter how close we are. If you try to guilt me or pressure me into saying yes, I will cut you off, forever if necessary. Some book said, "innocent as a dove, but deadly as a serpent".
I consider myself an empath,If I see a person or animal suffer it's sometimes debilitating. However, I will give when someone is in need. Here in Thailand, people won't take advantage of you for the most part.
Hey Steve. Empath city, pedal to the metal here. It's gotten me into trouble my entire life. But it's just who I am. I'd love to retire to the Phills, but yeah, I'm worried this will get me into bigtime trouble. My "hack" is moving to a provincial expat free area.Expats definitely appear to be a problem. At least, a good healthy chunk of them.
Very interesting! Thank you for sharing. My personal slogan: "I can help 1 family, but not the whole world". And manipulation...? No ! ...
.....
good video . i had one person who always wanted money, eventually i decided to loan her a little money instead of giving and insisted she pay me back before i helped her again . i didn’t want the money back but she never came back again so problem solved
ZEN... if you have positivity in your life, all the time, you will be at peace with life all the time.
Well said Steve.
I finally learned to flat out say NO. Sometimes you have to go into Butthole Mode.
Great video.. And yes, it sounds harsh to close your heart when visiting the Philippines (or any country that has a lot of poverty) but it's sort of necessary.. You can't give in to anyone trying to take advantage of you or random people on the streets begging for money .. Keep to yourself and the ones you hold dear in life.
I'm not empathic like that and I have no trouble saying "no"... but still I find situations like that uncomfortable.
Also, I'm a believer that the ones with the loudest mouths usually deserve your help the least... I rather help someone who is quiet and modest, someone who wasn't asking for help but you can clearly see that giving them some money or a treat would make their entire day or perhaps week a lot better. Seeing the face of someone like that shine up gives me great satisfaction too, totally worth.
They can get taken advantage.
My Filapina wife takes a different approach to loaning money. She loaned 5000 pesos to a person and now she tells people we have no money to loan until we get paid back.
I can feel sorry for people and want to help out, but I also know I can't save everyone, and if I don't take care of myself 1st, then I'm not going to be able to take care of anyone. If you don't learn and use the word NO, you are going to be just as broke as they are. Those that are trying to better themselves and a little break could help them a great deal are a worthy investment, but those that aren't and just expect a handout, would get nothing.
(Proverbs 13:4 The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.)
A narcissistic empathetic person will shower love on you, but just to keep you hooked. They will run errands for you because they want you to be at their beck and call in the near future. And just when you start doing things for them, their love stops.
THEY VIOLATE YOUR BOUNDARIES IN THE NAME OF LOVE
Sounds like me somewhat (empathic tendancies). Been burned a lot so i'm kind of an untrusting/hermit now.
Myers-Briggs (16 Personality Types)
That is me and it took me time to set limits.
I am an Empathic guy as well , so this video gave me Just another reason not to go there. Thanks for sharing.
Glad you enjoyed it
@@RichTravel1010 Hi Steve, your videos are more than just joy, they are informative and educational. I learn from them. Keep up the good work. Happy Columbus day !
@@dovoso5685 Thanks
I have at least a dozen people that I lent money to . I don't bother chasing them to pay me back because they avoid me like the plague. And im fine with that ! 😜🤣
Yup…even family. Avoid us like the plague.
EMPATH u have to be sober ...not easy, I have some empathy , make some rules, guidelines , I have to give myself the same rules or better guidelines
Learn to be tough if not you will be eaten alive...Learn to say NO but do it gently......😊 Assertiveness but not aggressively.👁️
Considering the cultural differences between the US and the Philippines, I think this is a great topic that you should expand on. I consider myself to be somewhat empathic and have been in trouble with that quality from time to time, especially while traveling in foreign countries. Great video.
Hello Steve in a previous video you mentione about being able to help with visa and I really need some help. I dont know What you will need to start the process and is it possible to start with a tourist visa and from the Phillipines upgrade to retiremnt visa. Thank you in advance
Steven5975@yahoo.com
You NEVER give anyone "the benefit of the doubt", that is an old fashion concept .Always listen to your gut!
Something about that care giving thing , yes absolutely every one needs a break , it's like walking in the woods, watch that
bear!!! Do they have bears in the Philippines?
You will be eating up here, if you let them
I am an empath and have paid for it living in China, but they cured me.
The scary story there is the hospital and jails and you say you can't wind up there by accident , jails and hospitals are a business
You sir a kindred spirit - god helps them that help themselves.
Predatory broke expats actual prey on the unwary as a profession to keep their lifestyle-screw rhe bleeding heart suckers. Some truly evil people there, take another man’s last dollar not to mention his women if the opportunity arises.
So can I borrow a $20
I talk to many call centers girls, who take money from foreign men, I ask how you can do that a sleep at night, They smile and say, Well they are not us, once you make a human, not a real person its is easy. I like a person have a chicken here as a pet, He loved that chicken, but another will put in a cock fight, and feel noting when it die, same, I feel sorry for everyone when younger, give my last dine help a person, feel sad when see a person hurting, but over 60+ years of seeing life, I now am 90% the other way,. Life highway made that way, i still sometime i help. But its got to really move me, which mostly dont anymore,
Sadly as guys get older the empathy grows and younger people especially the ones with little regard will be hitting these guys up for money at will. It's far worst in the Philippines once you give them money they never thank you or anything. It's almost like it's expected.
The other thing I would like to know is why the people of the Phils cant get a visitor Visa to the US?! We have a friend going on her third try to visit What do they do with all that money they get to deny each Visa? 180 bucks to say "denied" is a lot of money to say that once an hour in an 8 hour day! Talk about a scam! It just seems very unfair to Asian countries🤔 What do you think Steve?
I agree it's not right but to many overstay their Visas
Bring em' rice. Can't go wrong with that🤣
Steve I'm Pinay living here in the US for 25 yrs, and it's sad to say that u are 100% right . Because that's the Pilipino mentality. They take advanage of you. Because they envy what you have. And think u obligate to share what u have.I know filipinos move back to the US and had a beautiful home to retired in pinas. But they move back here in the US because they don't have peace of mine. Every single day somebody's knockeng their door early in the morning to asked money. What a sad and embarrasing. So those expat be careful to buy even those million of houses. Cz u don't know what's gonna happen. U worked hard ur money ret. Pls be careful.
You know what a codependent person sees at the end of their life. Some another person's life.
Exactly!
live alone, schedule your time 7 days a week. plan out dates with your girlfriends. when the demand for money comes to you. let them know your money comes in after 2 weeks. now, cut them off before you pay out...
I rather prefer the 1st amendment. There is no limitation to what you can say in America. However people must remind themselves that they are not in America when posting on your channel. There are in your world. Again, I prefer to adhere to the first Amendment, but that only, sadly covers the USA only.. Being vulgar is just being vulgar, I have never seen the messages, I rarely read them. So I don't know. Sometimes you have to show pigs to be actual pigs. Anyway, hope you have a better day and an even better tomorrow. I too suffer for sciatic nerve pain... Horrible getting old. I shoulda tried harder for that Medal of Honor when I was younger. lol.. haha.
I believe You can be Empathetic without being Naive and downright Stupid-
True