Love, no matter what | Andrew Solomon
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- Опубликовано: 2 июн 2013
- What is it like to raise a child who's different from you in some fundamental way (like a prodigy, or a differently abled kid, or a criminal)? In this quietly moving talk, writer Andrew Solomon shares what he learned from talking to dozens of parents -- asking them: What's the line between unconditional love and unconditional acceptance?
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I love the cute smile he gets when he finishes his talks
Because he knows he is about to make so many people sitting somewhere with tear filled eyes, about to smile..
Acabei de ver isso kk
Teary eyed what a moving talk
I love listening to this guy.... It's like poetry :)
His voice is so calming and he speaks so beautifully!
+blackurtis Listen to some of these comments people. " I love listening to this guy. His voice is like poetry." Does any body care that he purposely misquoted the Time magazine article from 1966? He drastically change it, for the life of me I will never know why he did that or how it supports his point. Back to you black Curtis-who cares about the content of his words , I just like the sound of his voice. I wish he was a religious leader so I could follow him somewhere. This country is so fucked
Mitch Mabee Okay first of all, chill. No one said anything about the content of his message not mattering or anything. He has a relaxing tone to his speech, that's all we're pointing out. He is very intelligent and gets his point across quite clearly in a caring yet defining and informative way. This video explained my own struggles to me with the words I could never find. Sorry for thinking that he's nice to listen to.
It is always important to be accurate with any citations.
"I don't accept subtractive models of love". Great quote, great talk.
his speeches are perfection
you are perfection
I love every one of his speeches. The fact that he can move me to tears and still make me laugh amazes me. My brother has autism and I wouldn't cure him for the world. When he was 3 I was 18 and didn't understand what his autism would mean for my family's future. His autism has changed us for the better. In a way, his identity has become part of my own. I fight tooth and nail to make sure people don't take advantage of him. He comes to me for help, when our mum's words of comfort aren't enough....even though all I can do is say the same encouraging things but in a different way. If he magically wasn't autistic anymore, he would have an easier life....but he wouldn't be my brother.
He is extrodinary.
That's so selfish!
@@shibaak I'm sorry, what is?
Oh my god what a man.
his speech about depression was so touching
Andrew Solomon is heroic.
No he's a email scammer
Master Coyote what the heck do you mean?
He sure found his life calling.
When he said "we would cease to be, and strangers would move in behind our faces" I groaned out loud and then burst into tears. That's the thing. That's the wound.
I can sit and listen to him talk for hours ...
He is wonderful. His speeches move me to tears.
Dana Bodin his talk on adversity shaping our identities legitimately changed my entire outlook
The main message as I understand Andrew Solomon is that love is stronger than fear of being different, stronger than hardships, stronger than any type of pressure.
Sometimes, I have a strong feeling that I'm living in a great time. 30 years ago, the internet in China has not been well developed. People in China, like my parents, they can only know this world from limited TV shows. And now, I can watch these great talks whenever I want. I think it's something amazing. I know people might think I'm strange if I say I feel I'm lucky that I can watch videos on internet. Anyway, this is a nice talk. I like all his talks on TED. TED talks influenced me a lot. I want to find a job in TED. How can I do that? Anyone have any suggestion?
If you have an idea, story or advice worth sharing you stand a chance of becoming the next Ted Orator. Wish you best of lucks !!!
+Danni Sun I am almost 50 and live in the USA and from my perspective it was not well developed here either. I had a home computer in the very early 90's before any one I knew but it was mostly work for me dial up was WAY TOO SLOW and we did not have search engines like we do know so very tedious too find information. I feel in awe constantly that I have all of this available 24/7 almost instantaneously! So I do not think you strange AT ALL!
I very much agree with you, the internet can be a source of bad things but also of so much knowledge and wisdom. You are reading this on the other side of the world. That's pretty special.
Danni - Could you write and prepare a TED talk, send it to someone ?
i think of this everyday. I have an inextinguishable hunger for information of the world, history, different cultures, ideas and stories of human beings. I love to watch documentaries and explore Wikipedia just to learn about random stuff and I think I would be miserable if Internet didn't exist. Perhaps would read a lot of books instead, but I was never a good reader, so I'm very thankful and aware of how lucky I am to live in this era where information is so easily accessible in the form of videos.
''The fact that my favourite colour is now blue, and I'm still gay is evidence of both my mother's influence and limits...'' hahaha
Khushboo Gupta I like that Part of that speech of the.
Haha she might change your favourite colour but she cant make you straight
Adolf Hitler made Pink a colour for Gay people. Before of that it was a colour of strenght, man, etc. (At least that's what I know).
@@joshuabayas6535 Source?
@@Pikachu-qr4yb well, I don't know from what source I got it, but you will find so many sources if you just put in on Google the words "pink colour history" and maybe also "hitler". However it is not the only reason why pink became a feminine colour and blue a manly one.
"Even as a mother protects with her life
Her child, her only child,
So with a boundless heart
Should one cherish all living beings;"
-The Buddha
+Cosmonk I wrote that down in my notebook and in the future I will read it and find joy from it. Thank you for posting!
+Doomsy What about ants; should we cherish ants like a mother protects her only child?
Victor Zarathustra Of course, superman
Regardless of how impractical treating ants that way would be, tell me, why do you believe it's the right thing to do?
+Doomsy Standing, walking, sitting, lying down, one remains mindful of this heart.
"I don't believe in subtractive models of love, only additive ones." wow, so much truth in one sentence.
Ι absolutely love this man, he's brilliant.
Andrew Solomon is therapeutic in so many levels
Very eye opening talk on love,acceptance,parenting,disability, and genuine care. I will be the best father to my unborn child(ren), no matter what
This speech is so genuine and so realistic. Love is always there but acceptance needs to develop overtime. We cannot expect people to immediately shows intimacy to unfamiliar things, but it is possible to start to tolerance and willing and then acceptance. Diversity is unity. Truly.
Solomon is such an enlightened person. I could easily listen to him talking about anything for hours
this man is a brilliant talker
Jesus, Andrew Solomon's lectures choke me up. So profound.
Darren - Absolutely. The "cramp" story was a short teaching moment about what that would be like. Profound lesson.
What an amazing talk, I just sat there in wonder at the end of this speech wondering and amazed at the number of people this person had touched, number of lives he had changed. He sure is a person who is at peace with himself and every part of his being. Hope we have more people like him talk about different experiences and feelings, which would encourage differences and short comings rather than try to cover or hide them in this world we call home.
"I want to ask him to forgive me for being his mother and not knowing what was going on in his head." Cried at this point.
He has a way of filling me with joy, and then making me bawl my eyes out after one simple sentence. I love him.
I watch a lot of Ted talks. I don't usually watch the same one twice. After coming back to watch this one over and over, I've decided it's the very best Ted talk I've ever heard. It inspires me and fills my heart with hope. I use it almost like a meditation or an antidepressant when life starts feeling heavy.
I found this incredible, I often get people to watch it.
When he says acceptance is something that takes time, it always takes time.
I truly enjoy his way of explaining and reasoning. His talks are some of my favorites because they are insightful on so many levels. He's amazing.
He changed my life. Thank you Andrew. I started to live again thanks to one of your profound speeches, it came straight to my heart, it reached me.
I thought the same thing! His articulation or something about him is spot on!
My first TED Talk. Absolutely Amazing!!
So how many other TED talks have you listened to since this one?
Amazingly brilliant & insightful. I wish there were more of this man everywhere on the planet. I am so moved & I am abundantly grateful that some lucky little humans somewhere call him daddy.
I love his posture and overall body language.
such a moving and eye opening talk. grateful that I chose to watch this series.
A man of immense affective capacity for all of mankind. A clear eyed, clear hearted beacon of love and acceptance. Thank you. Thank you so much
This man gives truely beautiful speeches. Amazing!
his voice is perfect and very soft.ıt is right what he says
Andrew Solomon always never fail to deliver wonderful speeches. Such a great speaker, I love listening to him!
His words are poetry. He’s so magnificent and I can listen to him all day. No joke.
what a beautiful ,wonderful ,amazing person with so much love ,understanding and utter wisdom
I love this Andrew Solomon speech. I have a son on earth and a son in heaven, and I agree that the love we feel for our children is like no other love we will ever feel.
xoxoxoxo Sabrina ❤❤
you saw your son in "heaven"? you meant you have a son in the grave?
Covfefe27PL ...seriously?
Jeez. This man. I feel like I love him on some level for these contributions. Thank you, Andrew Solomon.
I love this man. People like him bring the world forwards
If ever you had to choose a must watch, must listen and must appreciate TED talk...this is it. I found myself giving him and his speech a standing ovation, in front of my TV!
"I don't accept subtractive models of love, only additive ones..." Mr. Solomon, you create such beautiful statements....just lovely! Love your talks! Best wishes to your wonderfully unique family, may they be an example to the rest of us. Your smile speaks volumes!!!
I love this man so much , the way he talks and everything about him , he's a genius
This is the 3rd talk I've heard from him. He's so thoughtful and thought provoking. You're my favorite speaker/ lecturer and I suspect writer. I just have to read one of your books. Thank you for what you are doing. I appreciate you.
Admire this man, for his kindness and talent...
Mr. Andrew Solomon your creation of your lovely family is a priceless masterpiece of art.
A masterpiece of love.
And with your masterpiece you have given people of the mind an inspiring vision.
I have 3 lovely sons - my masterpiece of love.
The man can do a TED Talk.
He is such a talented person - I love listening to his talks
i've watched several of his speaches they are amazing
This man is beyond inspirational. It's astonishing anyone can dislike this.
He always makes me cry at the end of his speeches
The beauty and warmth of acceptance and love. Thank you for this wonderful speech.
I cried throughout his entire speech. How powerful
This brought me to tears...this speech is beautiful.
Kater Katr Remember the happy childhood with your parents?Remember the support when you touch a low point in your life?
Remember the warm harbor in your home ?
Can't imagin a quite scene with nobody except your parents,no communication, no love, that's lonely ,hopeless,,helpless ,Anxletly.
A convenient way to look after your parents,we offer some love items,functions include :
K1: GSM SOS Call, push it then can call out, special for senior or disbaled.
K2: GSM Alarm, with Big SOS button and supports Fall Down SOS button.
T3: GSM 3G Senior Helper, can monitoring senior blood pressure, if the blood pressure higher or lower can send SMS alert.
T2: GSM 3G Telecare Healthcare Box.for monitoring senior living alone.medicine timer.
RTU5025: GSM GPRS 3G Access control, special for door opener through the authorized numbers phone, can detect door open/close status.
Remember me to your parents,please.
E-mail: GSM@GsmAlarmSystem.com
Thankyou Andrew. I watched this first thing upon waking this morning and it made me full of love and admiration and bounce to get up and go forth and love and respect all parents and all people. Thankyou for your passion !
This man made me realize what my parents had to go through.
I wish I were the daughter of this loving man.
he gay
Sad Boi Tim gay people have children
Same like just to hear his resolve would be so soothing to me
@@karolinemcdermott9301 adoption ?
Sad Boi Tim adoption surrogates sometimes the old fashioned way...
One of the best TED Talks I've seen. If everyone learned to love and care for others like Andrew talks about in this video, imagine how amazing of place our world could be.
This is my second talk of his that I have just listened to, and it is first so refreshing in this time of exclusion, personal attacks, lack of curiosity, and a degradation of common sense and plain decency to hear such eloquent, clear, thoughtful awareness being spoken. And second, a gay inspiration and healer. thank u!
This is the best TED talk I've ever watched. Thank you so much.
I never heard of him before I watched a bunch of his TED talks on my TED app lol but I really like everything he says.
Yes, the love we have for our children is like nothing else. Very touching.
What a wonderful human being! Thank you sir
Pretty much only here to listen to his voice - by far the most engaging TED speaker ever.
This talk is the best Ted talk I've heard. He's really the best.
This is the third video in a row I've watched of this guy and I've LOVED every second of it! Thank you Andrew for speaking at these events and thank you to everyone that played a part in making these speeches available to be seen by anyone willing to watch them!
I LOVE THIS MAN
Mmmm
That was amazing! One of the best speeches I've ever heard. So moving!!
One of the best tedtalks ever. Gave me goosebumps. Expansion from being a loving parent. Thankyou for your amazing research and passion.
Thank you so much for having spent the time with Sue Klebold... You are a beautiful human being.
Made me cry... this is one of my favorite Tedtalks. . . This really hit me where I live...
Entrancing talk. A journey of facts, emotions and connectivity. .
That was pure beauty, thank you so much.
As a person who fits into a "different" kind of category, this spoke so deeply to me. I'm going to share it... and hope that others can see how many layers of awesome this has.
This guy is a gem. A diamond in the dust.
This is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life.
utterly wonderful...such beautiful expression of love. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and heart.
Amazing !!! What an amazing spin on what we view as negative parts of life. This man has managed to prove that everything in life is about perspective. Life is about spreading positive energy and letting go of the anger and hate !! Accepting what we can not change, and tuning it into an opportunity for growth. Thank you sir !!!
i love the way he talk .... i want to hear more from him
Wow, that completely floored me. Especially when he follows it up with accepting people as they're born instead of wishing them to be "fixed" or "cured".
Watching this video has improved my life . FACT !
Everything I want to say has been expressed by you beautifull folks in the comments, but I beg you to know just how much love you deserve. Heroism isn't strength; it's not gritting your teeth and suffering more. Real heroism is that impulse, that thing at the bottom of your stomach that you just can't ignore, that urge to stop their suffering. In hopes that it's okay to quote my other favorite talk about leaving the white supremacy movement: "I changed their minds by showing compassion to those who LEAST deserve it, EXACTLY when they least deserved it."
Needless to say, I love you all so dearly, and I hope that y'all find some semblance of peace in your journeys. I think I speak for everyone when I say: THANK YOU Andrew Solomon. Thank you for teaching us the ttrue meaning of strength. I'm sure you've heard this a million times, but you really did save me.
This really... Well words cant really describe it, but I cant wait for fatherhood to feel that unconditional love for something of my own flesh and blood regardless of what comes of the child and the women I choose to create that miracle with. Thank you Tedtalks and Mr. Solomon for such an amazing segment.
oh thank you Andrew.....love is endless....love is being different....love is looking to be more nornal.....love is everything.....Love is Andrew Solomon...jeff
i cry every time i rewatch this speech ...
I love his opener with the discussion of vertical identity and horizontal identity. I will remember that. Great talk.
I don't accept subtractive models of love, only additive ones.. so well said Sir, much respect.
Certainly one of the best TED talks i've listened to so far.
His book was a sensational read; his talk was equally absorbing, moving, illuminating, and utterly engrossing. Thank you!
What is the title of said book?
Far from the Tree
Beautiful talk! The exact thing happened to me when my son was 3 months old. They said he possibly had brain damage and hydrocephalus. We did MRIs and tests. Thank goodness it turned out he is ok.
I love your speeches . your incredible human . and I accept you just the way you are .
What i find interesting about this speech is that Mr. Solomon didn't wait for life to bring him experience. He himself, jumped into the pool of experience and wanted to understand. This makes his words so much meaningful to the audiance.
One of the most meaningful talks in a while imo.
It's inspiring how in depth he pulled himself into his project to have kids of his own. A true scientist and a true social worker, I must say. :)
he makes me cry every time
His book aboute depression saved my life and its sooo facinating
Mr. Solomon - your talk was beautiful, balanced and illuminating. I'm sad, though not surprised, to see so many hateful remarks posted. I'm so glad you're telling your story, as well as the stories of so many brave parents. May you have an abundance of love and blessing in your life, sir. And best wishes to you!