Belonging and How to Belong - Teal Swan
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- Опубликовано: 27 сен 2024
- This episode on belonging and how to feel like you belong explores our feeling of being isolated, lonely and alone. Teal Swan discusses how sometimes we feel that we only belong in places where we didn't wish we belonged. In other words, we either don’t feel we belong or we feel that we only belong where we don’t want to belong. Teal swan then walks us through healing this aspect within ourselves so that we can find true belonging.
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Teal Swan is a revolutionary for personal transformation and is one of The Most Spiritually Influential Living People in the world. As a renowned author, speaker and social media star, she travels the world teaching self-development and teaching people how to transform their emotional, mental, physical and spiritual pain.
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Beginning Song:
Kuan Yin's Mantra (c) 2002 Lisa Thiel
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My life is a constant struggle of wanting to go out , socialize and have fun with people while simultaneously wanting to avoid all human contact.
thats how it feels probably for a lot of us
Me too ...
Same
me too
Same!
“No matter what you do, you can’t not belong.” Wow. Powerful.
“You are understandable. And you are understandable to me.”
Nothing belongs to anyone. EVERYTHING in the outside world is temporary and eventually we have to say goodbye to all of it. We don't even belong to our own bodies because thats temporary too. Don't waste your time belonging. Stay grounded in your soul in the present moment. Be who you really are.
“you can not see that other people have attachments to you”
now i’m crying thinking about all the people in my life that probably do actually care about me and love me but i’m too ashamed of myself to even see or believe it. i always feel like i have to choose between having myself and being loved by other people. i’ve been pulling myself away from people because i was exhausted of abandoning myself, and ever since i have felt that there’s no way anyone could possibly love me in the same way they used to when i was trying hard to win their love by being inauthentic. i struggle to believe that anyone is attached to me enough to even want to love the real me after they’ve known the inauthentic me for so long. becoming authentic feels like breaking that attachment. it feels like a rejection of the love i’ve already been given, because that love never felt real in the first place. is it real love if you’re not really known? i only feel loved to the dregree of which i am known, but maybe real love doesn’t require being known completely. maybe real love doesn’t “require” anything. i still want to be known, but maybe i can be known and not have to worry about losing anything because real love and belonging does not depend on knowledge. it doesn’t depend on me staying the same. it doesn’t depend on my self-concept at all. it’s not real love if it is only the ego that is loved. maybe there is more to me that people are attached to than that.
Crying with you. I feel you so much. You deserve to accept all the love!❤
no, this is called victim blaming. it's cruel and unhelpful. she's trying to make you think the real rejection and ostracism you've been showed is all in your head, and you just have to "try harder" or "put yourself out there more." In reality what you have to really do is change the bigotry and pack mindedness of the entire human race, or just offer the people rejecting and putting you down someone else to inflict their misplaced self loathing on.
"... The questions in all our relationships should be:
How can I provide a sense of belonging to this person?
What would I say or do differently if I considered them to be a permanent part of me?"
Boom! Truthfire!!! Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow.
Thank you so much for this perspective.
I appreciate you Teal Swan.
It's rare to find someone so damn wise, Glad we have a thing called the internet. :)
"The only way to get true belonging is to be authentic and be yourself to yourself and to the world, and give up trying to fit in"
So if i am authentic and still don't belong what is the answer.
@DAClub-uf3br They call us Wanderers.
@@DAClub-uf3br I personally was holding on to the places/people I didn't belong because I did not believe (still working on that) that there would be a place where I would be welcomed with my whole authenticity. That I would always have to ''settle'' for partial belonging, because that was all I could get and all I was used to get, mostly at least. So instead of leaving and finding where I do belong, I stayed, and started to give up my authenticity again. Losing something when there does not seem to be a better thing coming, is just pain, so why would I leave to feel even more alone? Better something than nothing, was my unconscious belief. But by holding on I could no see the possibilities that were sometimes right in front of me, because I felt so deeply afraid. I even hurt myself in many ways because that fear was so deep. So that's what it was/ is for me.
*where there was false belonging is maybe a better way to express it.
@@madelief4300 I feel ya. But I am completely alone. I'm refusing to be that person that people think I am and want me to be *again*. The truth is, it wasnt me. And the second I tried to be my real self they told me get out of here. Not my first time. I am now completely alone. No interaction with humans for almost a year now. I prefer to be in pain alone. Then to be not myself again for the sake of belonging. Because from my experience there are people like me that no matter how much they'll try to ignore the truth they just can't for a long time, and it will come back and bite them in the ass. And it will be more painful then the pain of being alone.
I just wish I had friends to be spontaneous with, people who interact and hang out with me, who want to connect. I don't have it. I feel I need to search them out. Still, happy and grateful for life. Gugs from Brazil.
I feel this
That's how it was before cell phones. People would meet wherever and be like hey, what should we do? I don't know! Let's walk around randomly looking for other people!
Cell phones very quickly destroyed socializing.
@@rustyscrapperthat's really interesting, I was born in the 90s and never realized that
I grew up as an only child with a cold and busy single mother. I was barely touched or understood or interacted in my earliest years. I had hard time belonging anywhere. I spent most of time traveling around the world since I became adult and that made me feel like I didn't have to deal with this issue. but now I settled down and am trying to belong to a society. I feel like I became that 6 y.o child again who went to school for the first time.
This is the story of my life in one video. Not belonging...since I was a small child. Not being authentic to be accepted. Learning that, it's hard to unlearn it. But what happened the last few years is that something shifted in me and it literally hurts to be inauthentic, to pretend. Now it's a huge conflict within me because I feel like no one will accept me for who I am and I cannot pretend anymore because I wake up blurting out my truth, it's like an explosion, it cannot stay in anymore. So, as a result I've been isolating myself in a very extreme way. Now I'm looking to get out of this vicious circle.
I can totally relate
Wow I recently came out as gay after a long time of fighting it and resisting it. In 20 mins you have helped me clarify my feelings and recognize my I have felt a red to suppress or doubt my truth. Thank you ❤️
Ow wow that was 3 years ago.
Tomas JR :Thank you ;)
Good for you :)
You are beautiful and you remind me of my own beauty. So thanks for that Teal.
what I mean is - you remind me of my Self.
Raymond Hogue 1 week ago
Hello Raymond LOL
You are sweet and saw it's meaning in your first comment.
Cheers and have a great week
Thank you Sharon.
Raymond you are beautiful ❤️
This is one of the best videos I've ever seen. And trust me, I've seen many.
THAT MESSAGE WAS FUCKING BEAUTIFUL! DO YOUR THING TEAL! I LOVE YOU
"Golden Child" seems like me. I'm currently having an identity crisis at 30. I crave belonging, yet don't want to get close because I believe the "true" me is unacceptable.
Brian Ta woahhh this is so how I feel, exactly.
I am the ex scapegoat and still many people don't accept the true you. Many people are not willing to be around someone who is truly themselves they think you faking it or you think you better than them or something
Wooow I finally got that after listening to it about 5 times when you said "if there is ostrizisation, dis-inclusion & non-belonging being a consequence there is no belonging in the first place!".
to you is where i shall belong. I have been watching your videos for years now and you totally changed the way how I precive life. You mean a lot to me Teal! nice to see you still showing up.
Thank you teal swan I really love you and your laugh brings me alot of joy thank you for everything
I agree
oh you're spot on with the false belonging with cults. I grew up in abusive family and it felt exactly like a cult. I was also in abusive friendships and relationships where it was turning out like a cult, where you get punished constantly because you think that's the price you have to pay to belong. You get material things but price is abuse, threats, punishment, guilt, fear and intimidation. You become afraid to leave because it breaks down your self worth so much that you start to believe no one will ever love you and you should be grateful that they do. There is no love, only a systematic abuse and breaking down one's soul. This talk really opened my eyes up thanks. you're right, I was searching for a sense of belonging but that wasn't even belonging at all.
Teal, I've been feeling like an alien my entire life but even more so recently. Thanks so much for dropping this video. Perfect timing and explanation. 💜
That intro alone....damn. Hit me pretty hard. I truly wish anyone else watching this and relating, all the best.
One of the best. Videos a seeker could ever ask for. . Been a meditator for years but overlooked how I was isolating myself and pushing away people unknowingly;. Missing this basic thing I was secretly reinforcing the belief that I`m meant to be alone. I wish I had this video couple of years back before seeing beautiful relations collapsing due to not. Having a sense of belonging.
You have a gift Teal.........and thank you for sharing it with us.
If you are still out there, thank you for this insight. You saved my life
If you are wanting or willing to provide a sense of attachment with another person, it also means you are operating from more of a positive self concept. If your self concept is low, you may not want attachment with people at all in your day to day or weekly etc life. Attachment requires an additional type of work that you are just not familiar with or may not want to expend as energy
Teal, before I watched this video I was just writing about how everything we experience is a reflection in our own perception. So everything we experience is actually us because our perception of it is interior, though what we perceive is from an exterior input, our interior perception is what we experience. Sight, hearing, feeling. You know this well. But I thought it was very fitting that you mentioned that. We are empowered to bless and give rest to the perceptual experiences in us, since the experience belongs to us in the form of reflection, what we will for that reflection determines our experiences. In turn blessedness of our perception preceeds blessing that comes from us back to what we are perceiving. This is empowering because we can practice to have a greater perception of the external. You're smart.
This concept was a lot to digest. I constantly feel like I don't belong, and after watching I feel like it has more to do with my bad habits than me not finding my tribe. I need to work on seeing the similarities between me and other people; not the differences. Oi, that's going to be a tough one to crack. Lol!!
Oh man, this one made me cry... I am the golden child in this story and feel like there is something really wrong with me and people don't like me.
geez:(
The family bit was so raw for me, I did do anything to please my dad all the time, it is only the past few months I am finding my own self. Thanks for sharing ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
I have seen a few psychologists and read books of therapies and spirituality for the last 15 years. I have to say: you, teal swan, have the gift of truth. What you say pierces through useless and over elaborated theories and gets to the basics of what is. I don't know what background you have, I m guessing it s both spiritual and psychotherapeautic. Whatever it is, you rock. I hope I m not inflating your ego. But what is true is true. And you tell the truth.
Your voice is mesmerising n fits your face a hundred percent. N the knowledge you impart is beyond words. God bless you .
So so amazing Teal you're incredible. Thank you so much for sharing your videos for free, each one is life changing. Much love...💖💖💖
It's really hard to start over all alone, when you lost everyone you thought loved you, realizing that all this time they were abusing you instead of loving. It feels like betrayal. You have to find your self again and new people who do accept you unconditionally. Even if often it's hard to believe they don't exist (in that case there is nothing to live for and you want to kill yourseld), there is always a little hope they do exist. You may consciously go for a scavenger hunt to find evidence for that. 😊 It's constantly up and down with this. I often wish I could just heal away that part of me that feel no belonging is ever possible, with completion process. But that is really pushing it away. I sometimes don't know how to be present with that part..to let it feel it belongs with me no matter what. It's screaming so hard and hurting, suffering in pain with no end. Poor little child. And I think being present with that is the real path of healing....
wow I could've written this, I also just left a lot of people who thought were friends and family but turned out to be abusers, and I also feel like I am starting over all alone. Let's have faith and love ourselves and support ourselves through this journey, we can make it through!
This might be my favorite Teal Swan video ever. Taking all this in is incredibly scary but I now have awareness of something I've been blind to and can make changes because of it. Thanks Teal :)
Thank you Teal! I love you! Thank you a lot! Your words have healed me many times! I wish you all the love and all the light! Thank you a lot! I wish all the love and all the light to all of us!
Thank you Teal
I'm really sorry, I can totally understand and relate, those things have helped me immensely as well ❤
I love all of these beautiful comments for you Teal! You touch so many lives in so many amazing ways - thank you!!
And to all of you who have made negative videos and said such horrible things about Teal, shame on you. Mind your business. And remember what your momma taught you "if you can't say anything nice, don't say nothing at all". And listen to Teal completely, you WILL learn great things😊
When i sincerely have prayed for help this year teal has come out with the perfect video addressing my concerns. This is exactly the help I needed. I am elated. Thank you.
I really needed this....I felt so isolated. You have reiterated the need to myself. Thank you!
this makes sense on so many level"s for me 'for all of us ,so much wisdom she just explain'd me to a t ,thats exactly what I to my self ,amazing teacher right here .
I love to listen to you, because you are so Gifted With Your Insight.
Teal you are a Badass 💫
belonging and love are basic human needs, but you don't need anything external to feel this. you can feel it straight from source of god, or your higher self, etc.
I LOVE THIS VIDEO!! I have never felt like I belong, up until just recently. I finally found myself in a positive relationship and it’s taking a lot to change the narrative in my head. Teal, can you please do a video on negative speech and self talk?
It’s crazy how on point this is!!! I just realized that me scanning the people for differences is what makes me feel that I don’t belong.
This is one of your best videos Teal, thank you so much for sharing your excellent teachings! They have been very very very valuable to me.
That was a very powerful strong message.
This totally changed my perspective on things……the dynamics in my family, friends, and how i see myself. If you are shunned because you don’t conform….,,you never belonged in the first place. I definitely dont belong n my current dynamic.
Ur the number 1 person I connect with teal, I've never felt such a connection (that sounds red flag'ish lol) what u say and what universal source tells me align to such depth. I'm sure u hear that all the time...that wud be a given xx
I have much love respect and trust in u. Thanku ❤
Each time I stumble on one of this lady's videos, I learn something. Inevitably, I learn something. I appreciate this woman's existence.
Teal you're Fire!!! You go Deep you just know and lay out the real Problem!!!! love your Work
Amazing vid Teal. So much truth in what you said. Its good to be reminded of my belonging. Its astounding how peoples egos fight themselves. I get that "you don't belong" thing in my head every so often. You're also right about AA, the core of it works because it's a "we " program. Ive been sober for 15 years and even though I don't like everyone's personality there, I do my best to accept them as spiritual beings just like me. Thanks for this lovely message lady
Teal. Thank you so much this is exactly what I needed.
I have watched you for a few years now, thank you for helping me heal myself. I just want to put it out there. Now that I'm actually is writing a comment that I never do. ♥️
i realised i dont belong. i click on the notifications - a video about belonging that helped me right away
Teal makes me feel like I'm a kid in class excited to see what new prop or imagine game she'll use to get me to learn.. 😃🤗 Fun!
Truly thank you from the bottom of my heart
aboslutely brilliant guidance, thank you.
Hard to believe a beautiful girl like you felt lonely
Thank you. So amazing and enlightening. Struggling with depression and anxiety, i've had sone rough days lately and it helped ease the pain a little.
Teal you came to me in my dream .. it was the first message from my subconscious .. it was very hard you came to me to rescue me after awakening I felt your soul embracing me .. I intended to attend your next workshop .. all my appreciation to you .. love you teal .. enas
if I wouldve seen this video 6 years ago I probably wasnt gonna have depression for the next 5 years.. Teal you are healing, you are helping me and many other people to heal
Thank you so much Teal. This is one of the ones I struggle with.
Sometimes I feel telling my truth to those that I 'don't belong with' drains my energy. I like to get outta there as fast as possible
This is beautifully accurate. Thank you
I accept myself. Thank you Teal!
I have very close friends who have taught me that to be disliked (for a time or moment) is not actually the end of the world. We have a foundation of love that can't be disrupted. On the surface there may be liking and disliking between us depending on the day, but I have learned to accept the concept of being disliked. Because I love myself, because my friends and family always love me. And to avoid being disliked at all cost means at some point being inauthentic. I'd rather be me and face the consequences
i was JUST saying today.... wow. the synchronised power manifested today is incredible
Teal you save my soul every time I turn to you - thank you
I needed this right now so badly
12:14 that’s like when I want to belong in certain groups of “the conscious community” but then my self concept tells me “I’m not good enough” yep...shame... DANG I’m literally doing this to myself and pushing people away you’re right ha! Okay I’ll do my best!
I am so grateful for you teal ❤️🩹✨ Thank you 🙏💖 Best wishes to you always 💫
Just watched the intro and I already wanna cry 😭
Ive never seen this addressed so directly, thank you
Amazing video. I knew this already but forgot it. Very good reminder.
this is one of the best video ever.
Mi è servito infinitamente. ne avevo bisogno e so che dovrò guardarlo altre volte per migliorare.
Thank you for this Teal.
Thank you so much Teal. For sharing your knowledge. ♥️
GOD how greatful I am for you and your divine brilliance!!! Thank you to infinity!!! XXXOOO
This was so timely for me, and deeply touched on past abandonment and isolation in ways I hadn't thought of before. 💜
OMG OMG OMG OMG I am SOOOO excited cause THIS video is only for ME :-) at least it feels like this cause my main struggle and sadness in life is exactly this topic: that I don't belong anywhere.
I've got to take time for this video. It's not one that I want to watch it while making something else at the same time. I really want to infuse it. And I am SO sure that in a way it will help me!! OMG I am SOOO glad that she has made THIS video!
Thank you so very much.
luticia yeah it's not for the other 22 thousand people that watched this episode, just you 😉
You think wrong, cause I share it with YOU, TOO !! :-)
yep teal is just amazeballs
I SO had this problem afew weeks ago...my only friend had some brain spasm n said she din want to be friends anymore. Ouch! I serendipitously ran across 'meetup' groups. Just type 'meetups near (your town)' into the search bar. I've gone to BBQ's, walking groups, meditation groups, a nice dinner party, concerts in the park and plan on a camping weekend. Also, pizza nights. An other good source is the parks n recreation guide. Lots of good stuff...usually costs $5 per time. Meetups are generally free.
This is SOOO great, Stacey! Your message made me really happy cause I'm so very glad that you didn't let yourself drop into a depression but took responsibility for yourself and action and now you 're getting to know so many new people and maybe one or two will be a real friend in the future. It makes me happy that you go out and do so many different stuffs!! Seriously, it makes me happy :-)
I live in Germany in a smaller town. There are some groups of people who get together once a month but that's it. And it's mostly going in a pub and drinking alcohol. This is not my thing.
There's a webpage where people of this town come together in order to take part at theater or a concert etc. But somehow I've never joined them. I'm longing to belong somewhere, to have a good friend like you used to have one. Meeting with strangers every time is just not the same. And I also find it boring cause it's always the same small talk and afterwards you say goodbye until next time when you meet again new strangers and start this superficial small talk again.
But I also know that I won't have any friends if I don't start to meet new people.
How is your friend doing now? Is she your friend again or does she still reject your friendship?
beautiful wonderful. i laughed my heart out with the talking piece of paper! great! this connects to my feeling of the misplaced way of housing in this world. 'my home - your home'. we all belong to this space-universe and therefor we are all belonging to every place there is. so 'owning' a house is belonging to a place you don't really belong to (eg are one with). mi casa es su casa! love to all you lightworkers! get this space-time to its wanted vibration.
Lol. Teal's physical demonstrations always get me. Cutting string, ripping paper in half "you can't take the paper out of paper". I don't know why but it makes me laugh!
i needed this video so so so so SO badly, i cannot thank you enough Teal, wow, 💓
This video helped me so much :)
Thanks so much Teal :)
Absolutely brilliant words
This video s absolutely amazing! I really needed to watch this. Thank you, Teal.
Teal, more like this please! Thanks for your beautiful videos.
Also... How do you know when people are attached to you?
Agreed very insightful indeed
What would i do without the wisdom that you share with the world, Teal
This was sooooooo good😲
I got so many answers to so many questions.
Teal thank you very very much🙏
love and light dear💖🌟
Thank you so much, Teal. Your video on how to properly deal with crowd energy still helps too.
Oh Excellent Video today! Again you put words to what my heart is already telling me! Thanks Teal! ~xo
Bhavana Vi Passana, peace comes when I stop chasing it. from Sanskrit. Thich Nhat Han. we really are just alone. being the genuine self is a gift of a liferime.
Carl Jung. appreciate your lecture. thank you Teal swan
Yes!! I've been waiting for this video! Thank you Teal 💙
Thank you Teal, this has helped so much 💙
This was really helpful, thank you!!
What a great video! You're awesome teal.
This is ai accurate. I was the golden child and i feel i need to forget myself in order to be with people. I struggle a lot to find some friend with whom i can be me. And i just pushed somebody away yesterday, a guy i like. I know that it is because i feel shame, and not valuable at all. So i prefer to disappear because im not important. And not pushing ppl away is really difficult. It feels so scary.
Thank you for posting all these videos...Have an amazing day Teal :)
I want to become such a wise woman as Teal is. ♥
Thank you! I very clearly feel the shifts throughout the month and it's very impractical xD But I do my best to respect it and make space for myself. Good to hear I'm not the only one who are very affected by it.
I couldn't help but look up your human design the other day since your details are online and I was sitting here thinking to myself, that this nature background really works for you. It's such a good fit... So then I was like wait... What's her environment style?
You have what's called shores/natural... It literally translates to natural landscapes. The shore specifically, but also any landscape is going to be a good background for your videos.
I was just going to comment how great you look and shine through with this background, and the lush greenery in the next recommended video, but since I'm getting all nerdy with human design I had to check that part, and sure enough, you in nature is your best setting.
Great video. Thank you, Teal.