+Steve Succop Once on the NYC train, the guy says: "__th Street, transfer is available to the R and B train, but transfer will not be available on the D train next stop, if you want the D, it's right here.."
Heard on London Underground: "Sorry for the delay to your journey, I'm sure you are all anxious to get home and start your weekend. Unless you are married to my ex-wife, in which case you probably want to alight here, cross over to the other platform and head back into London."
I asked a stewardess whether it was safer sat at the front or back of a plane. She said that one of the benefits of flying cattle class at the back was that if the plane crashed, the impact would be cushioned by the posh folk upfront in first class and the added advantage was that very few planes ever Reverse into mountains, or into the sea.
Well, obvs. I always sit near the tail when I have the choice for exactly that reason (or over the wings, where the fuselage is stronger). Planes don’t crash backwards.
The actual answer depends on the nature of the incident unfortunately. In the back you get it in a tail strike, over the wings is the only part that won't break off, and first class get ahead in the queue at the pearly gates while your mangled body spends two hours slowly bleeding to death.
@@icturner23 Near the tail increases your likelihood to die in minor incidents like a tail strike on takeoff. Over the wings is the area that doesn't tear off, but that can be for the better or worse. You ARE sat on a fuel tank if over the wings, and at risk of fan blade separation making an unplanned entry into the side of the aircraft. Considering these things happen a lot more frequently than air crashes it is an interesting dilemma. Fires are a greater threat to the rear of the aircraft also. Front gear failure a greater threat to the extreme ends.
One train driver said in an announcement "We are now arriving at our next stop, please make sure you take all your baggage with you. That includes your emotional baggage!"
Me accidentally forgetting my traumas like “oh bloody ‘el, I’ll be darned if I’m expected to hunt that down but dear Mrs Hudson my therapist will sorely miss it at our next tea”
My train was reported with a 12 minute delay on the official schedule, upon approaching the station the driver announced that we had actually arrived on time due to his "Formula 1 driving" and proceeded to call himself "Max Verstappen" cause he was Dutch. Gotta love it
Holy shit, just noticed that now. I thought it was the camera guy holding his hand in front of the camera for a slight bit. That made it so much more hilarious.
I was on a train once and the conductor said: "we will shortly be arriving at Exeter St David's, if you are leaving any personal items behind on the train then ensure they are of high value and by that I mean monetary or caloric as I am partial to a nice donught or brownie" love that guy
On a nearly empty flight from Philadelphia PA to Greenville SC a crewmember gave the following announcement: "Smoking is not permitted inside this or any of our aircraft. If you feel you must smoke, a flight attendant will be happy to escort you to one of our wings." 😁
The first ever time I went to the UK, I was on the Gatwick airport express train on route to London and they had some schedule mishap that caused a much slower train that was in front of us to slow us down. Every single time we slowed down, the guy on the speaker would crack jokes and be all positive about it like "Well we're slowing down once again but at least there are some cows to look at on the right." Best first impression I have ever had about something ever.
I was once on a plane and the pilot said “I just want you to know that it is my birthday today, presents will be greatly appreciated. What won’t be appreciated is people clapping after we land because most of our journey is due to autopilot.”
My dad has told me a story about one time when he was on a plane flight going somewhere (he never said where, or I never remembered it). The landing was really rough, with the plane getting bounced around a lot and whatnot. Once the plane stopped, someone got on the intercom and said something to the effect of, "Hey Everybody, sorry about that landing, but that was pretty good for his first time!"
I remember seeing videos on RUclips where a Southwest flight lands somewhere (possibly more than a few times), and when the plane finally touches down on the ground, the flight attendant comes on the PA and says, "Ladies and gentlemen, it was a rough landing, but it wasn't the plane's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it was the asphalt!" (get it?)
Was on a train to Munich, when there was an announcement. "Dear passengers, I am happy to announce that if you look out of the left side of the train you will see a rainbow." Just lovely
I spent a semester in London many years ago, lived off the Northern Line. Mornington Crescent was closed for repairs the whole semester. When the driver would announce the upcoming stations, he obviously was saying something about Mornington Crescent (that it was closed, that you should get off at Camden Town or whatever the closest station was, something), but that was the ONLY part of the sentence you could make out. The rest of it was, as you put it, incomprehensible mumbling. We never knew whether to blame it on the announcer or the speakers in the train, but it became a sort-of meme for those of us who were part of the program and lived in that area.
@@kaasmeester5903not nyc but The LiRR “Please remember to report any suspicious activity or characters to the staff, especially the ones that sit in the dark corners with a permanently locked grin on their faces”
There used to be another train driver who spoke with this really posh accent, he always got us laughing. He later left Southern for Gatwick, but he passed away early this year, and he was only 43. So sad 😞
I once was on a train which came to a halt in between cities.. After five minutes the driver made the announcement "I would very much like to tell you why we are stopped, but nobody's talking to me either". :-/
“Good Evening, this is the pilot speaking. Tonight we are heading to Atlanta. If you are not going to Atlanta, then one of us is on the wrong plane.” Actual announcement.
My brother was once on a plane to London, Canada. The pilot decided to be funny and announced they were on the plane to London, England. My brother almost had a panic attack, but he laughed afterwards
There's a classic Hungarian joke going like this: * MÁV ANNOUNCING SOUND * "We'd like to inform you that the train arriving to Budapest-Keleti from Szeged will be late by 8 hours because the passangers push it slowly! Thank you! We do not return any of the tickets!"
Once when I was on a tram the driver also began playing airline pilot and announcing each stop like: "Attention passengers, we are now in final approach to [next stop] Please remain seated until the vehicle has come to a complete stop. If you are connecting to another destination, please check the lighted display at the stop for departure times. If this is your final destination, we wish you a very pleasant day and thank you for riding Munich Tramways". That made all of us smile, and everyone thanked him as they got off. It certainly got my day off to a lovely start! 🙂
Friend of my sister was once in a train that stopped working. Guy said "I've got good and bad news. The bad news is all engines have shut off. The good news is you're not in an airplane"
The worst one I heard was a mate going to see iron maiden at the NEC arena in Birmingham, it said "We are stopped due to a red light, but the express is approaching from behind, so we are going to go through it so the express doesn't hit us" I'd say Iron maiden couldn't make that night more exciting!
My uncle used to work at one of the major London terminals. His favourite story was announcing "please do not try to board the train on platform 9... No really, please don't... The train on platform 9 is currently on fire, so please do not try to board it..."
Wouldn't an actual power cut cause an emergency brake application? The only reason I could see for not having overlapping power rails is phasing issues. I am not british, and I do not know how the british power grid works, so I am just guessing here.
@@tomw86 no, he cant catch that moment - it differ for each train cab. More looks like he try to imitate this. Ofc it more funny if it is true rail gap. And as Strangleyourfriend say it be more funny if it just one wooo and nothing else.
Reminds me of that fun and very tolerant busdriver we had a few years back. After an open air festival, when everyone attending till the very end, tried to take the bus to get the last train, that was leaving the small town..some drunk guys were trying to tell the driver which direction to drive and the busdriver answered via the speakers to the amusement to all other passengers. At some point the busdriver made a bet with the drunk that if he follows his usual route and turn left there will be a busstop and if he’s right then the drunk has to sing a song, but if the drunk would be right and the busstop would not be there , then the busdriver would sing. In the end the drunk had to sing, but he choose a good song that lots of ppl on the bus knew and more than half the ppl on the bus chimed in. Ppl on the streets were literally turning their heads towards the more than full packed community bus with singing passengers😹
Many years ago, we were waiting to board a train that was stopped at the station. There was a while to wait before departure, so we wandered up to the front end to show my very young daughter where the driver sat. Sweet guy picked her up and showed her what it was like inside. Absolutely brilliant!
Happens quite a lot in trains and tube lights shut off randomly because passing through certain junction/tunnel The driver knows his route really well and times it perfectly with woo Which made it even more brilliant
My favorite train announcement was on a severely delayed Deutsche Bahn train that kept getting stopped on the tracks. When we were finally approaching the end station, three hours late, they made an announcement that as an apology, they would like to offer everyone on board a complimentary beverage in the dining car. This was closely followed by "Unfortunately, we only have water." Everyone groaned and sat back down.
My one time taking DB was a night train from München to Amsterdam. I had booked a coach seat but apparently there was a problem with the car we were supposed to take. The DB staff were very apologetic and asked if we minded taking a sleeping car instead. :^)
I remember when before a fight to Egypt, on the runway, the pilot said: "Don't worry guys, I've played many Flight Simulators before" and everyone started giggling 😂
I’m so surprised how he didn’t even stutter at all. He’s probably been joking around with the passengers for years. This is why I love trains, you can joke around without worrying.
I know someone who took a flight with Ryanair. The landing was extremely bumpy, so much so that the plane actually bounced back up into the air before landing again. Once they came to a stop the pilot came over the tannoy to do his landing announcement, and finished by saying "Ryanair, two landings for the price of one."
My train once had to go back to the main station due to some or an other reason, The train driver said: “Ok, everyone. You are allowed to swear, you are allowed to be angry, You aren’t allowed to shoot anyone though.”
My favourite was a bus driver taking over his vehicle wearing dark glasses and carrying a white walking stick (both from Lost Property), being guided down the mess room stairs and onto the bus by a number of very helpful workmates...made for some interesting reactions...I suppose it couldn't happen today...
There is a recording from Ukrainian airlines, where pilot in an extremely relaxed voice said: "Dear passengers, you traveling via Ukrainian Intercity Airlines, temperature outside you could feel when you were outside, temperature inside you feeling right about now. We might experience some turbulence, we wouldn't want that obviously, but it might happen. I hope I won't disappoint you on my second flight regardless. We can do without clapping after landing, can't hear a thing here anyway." Then he attempted to say the speech in English, but stumbled on the second word and just concluded with "... who am I even trying for? Let's fly already"
This reminds me of this underground driver on Halloween this year (2021). Her name was Sarah, and she re-named all the stops to Halloween themed (for example, Belsize Park to Hellsize Park) lolll. Super fun!
@Mekal Covic so many doctors do that when being out on anesthesia🤷♀️ I’m heard way worse lol, literally pretty much all of them are a joke and if they weren’t they wouldn’t have the job so
I once had the person on the airplane say “everyone going to Disney world?” And everyone shouted “yes” except for one person who said “no, I’m going to universal studios!”
As someone who commutes regularly, they will pull something like this over the intercom every once in a while and it’s the best 😂 I think my favourite was this one time the guy made puns/jokes about the name of every station the train stopped at. It was GOLD 😂 xx
The station staff at Victoria Station on the Circle and District line are quite funny as well. "The doors will be closing in 5...4...3...2...1....Aw too late you missed it! You are going to have to be quicker than that to catch the next one!" Had me in stitches! 😆
I was on a plane and the pilot was blasting some Justin Bieber song and he was like "Y'all wanna go to Barbados? Put ya hand up if ya wanna go to Barbados" most ppl put their hand up (it was summer) and he said " Sorry but we gotta go to Italy" 😂
I once had a similar experince in a bus where the busdriver welcomed people onboard the bus at every stop and even wished them a wonderful day whenever they got off again. It made the trip for me personally a lot more cheerful and people were happy though we all wore a mask! ♥
We've got simillar bus driver here in Poland, Warsaw. He was forced to stop even though passangers and people on social media liked him very much. I hope this man from video didn't have any issues in job, for example for turning off lights :/
"The next stop is coming up shortly. Or at least it should be. If it isn't, we're lost. Which is going to be very confusing, as we've only been using the one track. *"You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) by Dead or Alive" starts playing*
The best ride of my life was taking a shuttle to Disneyland that was 10 minutes behind schedule. It felt just like that bus scene from Harry Potter, I've NEVER seen someone drive a bus that fast, all the while he's going _"hands and feet inside the ride, if you lose an arm we are NOT going back for it!"_ 🤣🤣
It reminds me of The Jungle Cruise at Disneyland, "watch your step, and watch your head, and if you miss your step and hit your head, watch your language. There are children." Creative liberties threaded into important announcements always makes a journey more enjoyable.
Man, I've been to the UK 3 times so far and I am always looking forward to train rides, because the announcements some train drivers have prepared are just awesome. Better than any comedy show :D I've only had such a cool train driver once here in Germany and everyone loved it. Bless these men and women for putting smiles on people's faces!
I live in Switzerland and one of the ticket inspector I had almost sang the announcement. And then on a later train ride he checked my ticked and I recognized him from his voice again. I complimented him.
I use the tram every day to work and there is this one guy sometimes that runs the tram and when there is someone running to catch it he tells everyone to round of applause to the guy for catching it. Little things like this man really just give a little hop to your day.
A pilot for my brother going to the US announced mid-flight "Attention all passengers who are awake. I'd like to to share with you all I have a 75% success rate, and this is my fourth flight today. As some would advise you, buckle up!". Turns out he was talking about how often most of the passengers were made nervous when he makes that joke, which he announced a few minutes later.
@@alansmithee419 75% of the time he made the majority of his passengers nervous on his flights by making that joke. Clearly didn't mean he only had those three flights to learn from, especially since he did it multiple times each day.
I remember this guy, we were on a train coming back from London and he said there was a replacement bus service at Purley. Then he said I know a song about that and started to sing the wheels on the bus go round and round. We need more like him.
Once, on St Pancras train North the announcer said that "passengers should change at Northampton for onward connections, if they like that sort of thing." The humour was a breath of fresh air.
Belive me no one would want pilots like this,people are already scared of flying and i am pretty sure everyone wants to feel professionalism from pilots instead of sense of humour
Kaya it might actually help people relax tbh I hate flying and terrified of accident death- this would actually really help me.. I use humour to cope a lot so..
My favourite was “This train has developed a technical fault and will be taken out of service at the next station. For passengers travelling to Uxbridge they should wait on the platform for the following train, unless you happen to be married to my ex-wife in which case you should change to platform 2 and get the first train going in the opposite direction”
I was working as production assistant to actor Callum Fairweather and we were flying back to Scotland when the Stewardess asked if he wanted to do the arrival announcement. He basically did 5 minutes of improvised stand up....I cant remember all of it but I remember he started by saying "Ladies and gentlemen, we have just arrived in Glasgow....Sorry about that.".....He then mentioned something about Scotland forgetting to turn the heater on and Security and rubber gloves.😂
Actual announcement: "Unusually, we're arriving at our destination this evening, some twelve minutes early. We can only apologise for this, and hope it doesn't cause inconvenience to any of our passengers who were expecting to arrive several minutes late as is usual. Rest assured, the driver will be reprimanded for carrying out his duties in such a lax manner."
About 20 years ago I worked in the ticket office at a train station. One day the manager came round and actually made me announce that the next train would be on time - because it was that rare! I then had passengers come into the ticket office checking whether they had heard right.
I was once on a train where the pre-recorded message glitched and said, 'and remember, if you do not have a valid ticket, transfer, or pass, thank you!'.
My last train went through some tiny city I'd never heard of, the train conductor announced it as "finally we're about to arrive in World City Gütersloh!!" (I'll remember the city forever because the train broke down there, all of us were told to leave and make our own way to our destinations, and i stood in the freezing cold 4h away from everyone I know in this country waiting for any other train for over an hour. Good times in Gütersloh, world city)
Few months ago I was on a bus where the driver kept singing out the names of each street we stopped at. Like straight up singing the words. "We're now arriving at BROADWAAAAAY~~YEAH~~" It was the best bus ride ever.
Traveling on the London Underground you sometimes get these hilarious drivers as well - I particularly remember one on the Jubilee Line from Baker Street towards the northwest where the (lengthy) announcement included: "Usually this train can drive you insane, but today we're only going so far as Wembley..." 🤣🤣🤣
I was stuck in a train because the doors wouldn't open. When they finally fixed it and the doors swung open the conductor proclaimed: "Customer retention is what we call thát!"
Firstly, you want to see correct use of the English language; it's right here. I don't need to prove anything professor, it's the internet, I can use whatever grammar I like. Lastly, I am very calm, prove I am not.
a train in germany was going too fast so they had to wait for like 10 minutes at a smaller trainstation to get clearance to get into the central station, the driver was on the intercom and said "I pressed the gas padel a bit too much and we're now waiting for clearance, should take like 10 minutes, i dont know, go outside and have a smoke or something"
As our plane was taxiing for takeoff our stewardess announced “In order to make the person sitting next to you look more attractive, we’ll be dimming the lights at this time.”
Игры
The part where he turned off the lights and was like "oooOOOooo" killed me.
Niall McCloy you're kidding right?
Niall McCloy wow your actually stupid.
isn't the train in the tunnel?
Grumpy dinosaur! dont you See the lights in the train??
It's dark; there aren't many tunnels in that part of London (sandy soil).
Unlike the NYC subway, you can understand what he's saying.
+Steve Succop Once on the NYC train, the guy says: "__th Street, transfer is available to the R and B train, but transfer will not be available on the D train next stop, if you want the D, it's right here.."
+Gerrit Niemands lol
Coney island bound tshhh tshhh new York tshhh twit tshhh ride don't tshhh pletshhhh ... tshhh clostshhh doors tshhh. tshhh.
if you're lucky and you get one of the newer trains, you'll get a robot voice.
Hi my name is Lucy types?
Heard on London Underground:
"Sorry for the delay to your journey, I'm sure you are all anxious to get home and start your weekend. Unless you are married to my ex-wife, in which case you probably want to alight here, cross over to the other platform and head back into London."
"Dear ladies and gentleman, this is a train and not an advent calendar. You may therefore open all doors at once and not just one."
@@wernerderchamp 😂😂😂
@@wernerderchamp lol-
I asked a stewardess whether it was safer sat at the front or back of a plane. She said that one of the benefits of flying cattle class at the back was that if the plane crashed, the impact would be cushioned by the posh folk upfront in first class and the added advantage was that very few planes ever Reverse into mountains, or into the sea.
That's good to know.🤣
Well, obvs. I always sit near the tail when I have the choice for exactly that reason (or over the wings, where the fuselage is stronger). Planes don’t crash backwards.
The actual answer depends on the nature of the incident unfortunately. In the back you get it in a tail strike, over the wings is the only part that won't break off, and first class get ahead in the queue at the pearly gates while your mangled body spends two hours slowly bleeding to death.
@@icturner23 Near the tail increases your likelihood to die in minor incidents like a tail strike on takeoff. Over the wings is the area that doesn't tear off, but that can be for the better or worse. You ARE sat on a fuel tank if over the wings, and at risk of fan blade separation making an unplanned entry into the side of the aircraft.
Considering these things happen a lot more frequently than air crashes it is an interesting dilemma. Fires are a greater threat to the rear of the aircraft also. Front gear failure a greater threat to the extreme ends.
I only ask for a window seat so I can get to enjoy the nice visuals as we are nosediving into the earth
My heart goes out to whoever was eating during the "Woooooooo" segment.
9/11
Brandon Wu I had a mouthful of spaghetti… HAD
Now I have a nosefull
im eating pizza lol
Brandon Wu I choked on my cake 😂
Brandon Wu I choked on a sour sweet oww 😂😂
One train driver said in an announcement "We are now arriving at our next stop, please make sure you take all your baggage with you. That includes your emotional baggage!"
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I remember I had one who mentioned not forgetting children, umbrellas
Me accidentally forgetting my traumas like “oh bloody ‘el, I’ll be darned if I’m expected to hunt that down but dear Mrs Hudson my therapist will sorely miss it at our next tea”
KABDKDBJD BAHAHAHA
lmao
My train was reported with a 12 minute delay on the official schedule, upon approaching the station the driver announced that we had actually arrived on time due to his "Formula 1 driving" and proceeded to call himself "Max Verstappen" cause he was Dutch. Gotta love it
I bet not having the engine blow up on him helped quite a bit, eh?
Max max max, super max
Shame its one way, could've asked him to pedal harder.
I'll take things that never happened for 500
Max Railcrashen
The fact they were already recording means this is either a regular thing or that this was going on for a lot longer than this.
This is a fairly regular thing, this driver does it often enough that someone that makes this journey regularly would be filming
I was searching for this comment. Congratulations
You're pretty sherlocky today, sir
*Turns all lights off* "WooOOOooo" *Turns lights back on* Lol epic driver
Holy shit, just noticed that now. I thought it was the camera guy holding his hand in front of the camera for a slight bit. That made it so much more hilarious.
Truly the Baby Driver of Trains!
Qwerty Monkee you used lol and epic in the same sentence. Why?
Here in PH starts complaining oh there's more Double meaning kinda Green
I was on a train once and the conductor said: "we will shortly be arriving at Exeter St David's, if you are leaving any personal items behind on the train then ensure they are of high value and by that I mean monetary or caloric as I am partial to a nice donught or brownie" love that guy
you live near exeter??? i do lol (well in exeter lol)
jeffrey powell a shame i never met that conductor on my trips to Plymouth XD
lmao I live near Exeter too
Hahahaaa!!!
Oof that’s not how anyone spells doughnut/donut
On a nearly empty flight from Philadelphia PA to Greenville SC a crewmember gave the following announcement: "Smoking is not permitted inside this or any of our aircraft. If you feel you must smoke, a flight attendant will be happy to escort you to one of our wings." 😁
😂🤣
because the wings are well enough ventilated so that smoking is not a problem.
"you will die from this, as we are going fast"
I miss the days when we could smoke on planes
@@manoz6194 mmm lung cancer
The first ever time I went to the UK, I was on the Gatwick airport express train on route to London and they had some schedule mishap that caused a much slower train that was in front of us to slow us down.
Every single time we slowed down, the guy on the speaker would crack jokes and be all positive about it like "Well we're slowing down once again but at least there are some cows to look at on the right."
Best first impression I have ever had about something ever.
Sounds like you came across Jonathan Louis
When I visited London once a train driver said. "If you see someone doing something suspicious, such as smiling, please report them to the crew"
Well no wonder its full of miserable f......ers
Jonn1111 hey it’s just a joke...
bloody southerners
@@goombacraft bloody northerners
@@zenithkaijaou4182 Hey everyone what about us midlanders then,? Never get a bleedin mention..
I was once on a plane and the pilot said “I just want you to know that it is my birthday today, presents will be greatly appreciated. What won’t be appreciated is people clapping after we land because most of our journey is due to autopilot.”
Lmao I love it
Not how it works but okay
@Ferdian Zulfa C.K. Yeah usually people clap after the plane lands. Not always though.
I just clap depending on how smooth the landing was lol
@Ferdian Zulfa C.K. only in us lol
My dad has told me a story about one time when he was on a plane flight going somewhere (he never said where, or I never remembered it). The landing was really rough, with the plane getting bounced around a lot and whatnot. Once the plane stopped, someone got on the intercom and said something to the effect of, "Hey Everybody, sorry about that landing, but that was pretty good for his first time!"
Bet he was coming back with the milk
@@pulkitsukhija after 10 years
@@RGWUltraFan true
And then Robert B. Wilde music comes in
I remember seeing videos on RUclips where a Southwest flight lands somewhere (possibly more than a few times), and when the plane finally touches down on the ground, the flight attendant comes on the PA and says, "Ladies and gentlemen, it was a rough landing, but it wasn't the plane's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it was the asphalt!" (get it?)
Was on a train to Munich, when there was an announcement. "Dear passengers, I am happy to announce that if you look out of the left side of the train you will see a rainbow."
Just lovely
You can tell he likes he's job. Small things like that could brighten someone else's day on that train...
+Septix just because someone does a good job, doesn't mean they love it.
he is job? HIS job
he's job is his is job?
My brain hurts
+Septix I think it gets to a point where you hate your job so much that you start behaving like such.
Whoever put in the subtitles THANK YOU SO MUCH.
It's racist against white people.
+fehoobar probably the same guy who uploaded the video, but what do I know.
+PeeWee I completely disagree, it was the downloader
+PeeWee ye "Subtitles and volume boost by me."
Read dem descriptions ya sillies
+fehoobar That would be me, though the video was filmed by Chlöe Packer (with permission)
At least I understand him. In NYC, they be like: *"incomprehensible mumbling"*
Cause british English is charming obviously!
In NYC I heard: "Clear the doors! If you won't clear the doors now the train will skip the next 3 stations"
I spent a semester in London many years ago, lived off the Northern Line. Mornington Crescent was closed for repairs the whole semester. When the driver would announce the upcoming stations, he obviously was saying something about Mornington Crescent (that it was closed, that you should get off at Camden Town or whatever the closest station was, something), but that was the ONLY part of the sentence you could make out. The rest of it was, as you put it, incomprehensible mumbling. We never knew whether to blame it on the announcer or the speakers in the train, but it became a sort-of meme for those of us who were part of the program and lived in that area.
@@kaasmeester5903not nyc but The LiRR
“Please remember to report any suspicious activity or characters to the staff, especially the ones that sit in the dark corners with a permanently locked grin on their faces”
I like how he tells people they can sleep on the train and immediately scares them with a ghost noise
They don't pay him enough
i see you in ddlc videos lol
He's most likely bored and want's to hear the passenger's laughs.
RAISE HIS PAY
They pay him a fair amount for the work he does
Ikr
What a legend. Give this man a pay rise.
Blue4LifeSW6 Is that a hip new way of saying price? i'm getting old
No. No it's not.
It is now
You mean a raise?
+Jadu-Entertainment Pay "raise" in American English but pay "rise" in proper English.
"You rang"
"Yes, I'd like to report someone suspicious"
"Okay, who would that be"
"The driver"
The fact that he still included all the relevant train information throughout is just amazing. A true professional
Route and next stop is required by laws for blind people, so that's one thing he can't skip.
Roses r red
Violets r blue
The lights went out
WOOOOO
No, it's WOOooOoOO
@@bread6509 WOOoooooOO
Its stupid but why did I chuckle at this 😂
@@poopy5101 😂
TheUnholyViper W̸͟͞o̸͟͞o̸͟͞O̸͟͞O̸͟͞o̸͟͞O̸͟͞o̸͟͞o̸͟͞
Imagine someone deaf just sitting on that train wondering why everyone is laughing.
And then the lights go out...
Kian Bahasadri
How would you hear them laughing
Crumpet Snail You’re deaf not blind, you can see people laughing.
Yeah, I guess that makes sense, but it would still be kinda startling when the lights go out. xd
Aeron Fritz Juan
They could be screaming tho
Dumbass there were subtitles, deaf people would have got it too.
There used to be another train driver who spoke with this really posh accent, he always got us laughing. He later left Southern for Gatwick, but he passed away early this year, and he was only 43. So sad 😞
Rip. What happened to him?
Thats not a posh accent btw its more cockney
@@treeoflife7151 Definitely not the jabby jab!
@@treeoflife7151 I'm not sure
I once was on a train which came to a halt in between cities.. After five minutes the driver made the announcement "I would very much like to tell you why we are stopped, but nobody's talking to me either". :-/
“Good Evening, this is the pilot speaking. Tonight we are heading to Atlanta. If you are not going to Atlanta, then one of us is on the wrong plane.” Actual announcement.
Awesome
My brother was once on a plane to London, Canada. The pilot decided to be funny and announced they were on the plane to London, England. My brother almost had a panic attack, but he laughed afterwards
Imagine the pilot made the same announcement, but the plane was actually supposed to go to Washington..
@@pisces2569 I thought London was in England, or is there two Londons???
@@Video_Radio there’s a London in England and a London in Canada, and a quick google search tells me there are 29 Londons around the world
Once I flew in a plane...
The pilot said on landing:
"I would like to thank our most hardworking member"
"Autopilot"
@@dfgewrzdf
Yes
Hanro50 I wish that was my flight
@@GasolineProductions
It was a Kulula flight from Johannesburg to George (South Africa)
Get me a ticket
once i was flying, after the landing the pilot said:
please remain seated and don't stand up, i bet you won't be faster at the gate then us
There's a classic Hungarian joke going like this:
* MÁV ANNOUNCING SOUND *
"We'd like to inform you that the train arriving to Budapest-Keleti from Szeged will be late by 8 hours because the passangers push it slowly! Thank you! We do not return any of the tickets!"
Another Hungarian!?!!
Once when I was on a tram the driver also began playing airline pilot and announcing each stop like: "Attention passengers, we are now in final approach to [next stop] Please remain seated until the vehicle has come to a complete stop. If you are connecting to another destination, please check the lighted display at the stop for departure times. If this is your final destination, we wish you a very pleasant day and thank you for riding Munich Tramways". That made all of us smile, and everyone thanked him as they got off. It certainly got my day off to a lovely start! 🙂
Once on a plane, attendant went: "Please keep all your devices on airplane mode, if you're that one teenager that doesn't then shame on you."
Please be with me, okay?
what
@@thefactspherefromportal2740 I love you dude
As if your comment is one year old, but you are still responding just a few minutes after someone responded to it. Incredible😂
@@faee0170 I had the same reaction 😭😂👏
Friend of my sister was once in a train that stopped working. Guy said "I've got good and bad news. The bad news is all engines have shut off. The good news is you're not in an airplane"
Ygts LOL 😆😂😅👍 very witty!😅
Now I do like that one ygts!!!! Classic!
The worst one I heard was a mate going to see iron maiden at the NEC arena in Birmingham, it said "We are stopped due to a red light, but the express is approaching from behind, so we are going to go through it so the express doesn't hit us" I'd say Iron maiden couldn't make that night more exciting!
lmao
LOL
My uncle used to work at one of the major London terminals. His favourite story was announcing "please do not try to board the train on platform 9... No really, please don't... The train on platform 9 is currently on fire, so please do not try to board it..."
IS THE TRAIN ON PLATFORM 9 OKAY?
I love the way that, after to ‘woooooo’ he moves seamlessly into the next part as though it never happened.
Imagine if he said nothing, just cuts the lights and go "WOOOOoooOOOOOoooOOO on the speakers.
That was a rail gap and will happen in the same place every time he drives. It wouldn’t surprise me if he has that planned.
Wouldn't an actual power cut cause an emergency brake application? The only reason I could see for not having overlapping power rails is phasing issues.
I am not british, and I do not know how the british power grid works, so I am just guessing here.
@@tomw86 no, he cant catch that moment - it differ for each train cab. More looks like he try to imitate this.
Ofc it more funny if it is true rail gap. And as Strangleyourfriend say it be more funny if it just one wooo and nothing else.
You can clearly hear the power switch, it's a very loud knob. Humorous
@@user2C47 On the train line near me the lights and air conditioning would cut out for a few seconds at exactly the same place every time.
A guide on the tourist bus in Ireland once said "Please visit again, we may hate each other but we love tourists"
A good tour guide really makes the trip worthwhile!
LOL
LOL ALRIGHT GONNA RUN TO IRELAND WHEN I CAN
Accurate description
DUDE LOL
As a person from Hawai’i we desperately need a tour guide to say this routinely
Reminds me of that fun and very tolerant busdriver we had a few years back. After an open air festival, when everyone attending till the very end, tried to take the bus to get the last train, that was leaving the small town..some drunk guys were trying to tell the driver which direction to drive and the busdriver answered via the speakers to the amusement to all other passengers. At some point the busdriver made a bet with the drunk that if he follows his usual route and turn left there will be a busstop and if he’s right then the drunk has to sing a song, but if the drunk would be right and the busstop would not be there , then the busdriver would sing. In the end the drunk had to sing, but he choose a good song that lots of ppl on the bus knew and more than half the ppl on the bus chimed in. Ppl on the streets were literally turning their heads towards the more than full packed community bus with singing passengers😹
Many years ago, we were waiting to board a train that was stopped at the station. There was a while to wait before departure, so we wandered up to the front end to show my very young daughter where the driver sat.
Sweet guy picked her up and showed her what it was like inside. Absolutely brilliant!
One time on a very bumpy plane ride, the pilot said after like a crap ton of turbulence “Ya like rollercoasters?”
And my friends that is why you sleep on a plane
Ya like *jaaazzzzzz* ?
I bet he has a Scottish accent
MysticMarshmallow d’ya like jazz?
@@clydecraft5642 Jazz like ya
LMAO THE “WOOoOOooOoOOO” PART WHERE HE TURNS OFF THE LIGHTS IM DEADDDD
Eh
Happens quite a lot in trains and tube lights shut off randomly because passing through certain junction/tunnel
The driver knows his route really well and times it perfectly with woo
Which made it even more brilliant
He did it on purpose and it was funny tho
LMAO IT WAS GREAT
Lol I was right at the moment when I read this
My favorite train announcement was on a severely delayed Deutsche Bahn train that kept getting stopped on the tracks. When we were finally approaching the end station, three hours late, they made an announcement that as an apology, they would like to offer everyone on board a complimentary beverage in the dining car. This was closely followed by "Unfortunately, we only have water." Everyone groaned and sat back down.
thank you for travelling with Deutsche Bahn.
My one time taking DB was a night train from München to Amsterdam. I had booked a coach seat but apparently there was a problem with the car we were supposed to take. The DB staff were very apologetic and asked if we minded taking a sleeping car instead. :^)
So cruel!!!! LOL!
Once on an airplane the guy said “make sure not to leave any of your personal belongings, or you will find them on Ebay.” Love him.
This man could narrate the dictionary and I'd listen to all of it.
"Disestablishmentarianism:
Oh what the bloody 'ell is that?"
@@Joe_Potts I love using that word very much! Nice and confusing.
no you wouldnt
@@Joe_Potts LOL
The generated subtitles are more interesting. Mitcham becomes “bitching”
I remember when before a fight to Egypt, on the runway, the pilot said: "Don't worry guys, I've played many Flight Simulators before" and everyone started giggling 😂
Best thing I've read all day
Let me guess, you were going to Egypt to defeat a 100 year old vampire with your punching ghost?
Who did you go to fight in Egypt did you win pal
@@sideshowspook133 Sorry, I meant 'flight'. One taxi driver was a bit cheeky though so i had to make him conscious a bit
@@gendomug3676 When I read "Egypt" I was like "who's gonna make the Jojo reference"
We need more characters like this guy, making a boring journey enjoyable.
People like them would make this bland world much more enjoyable.
"Crisps, sweets, beers and wine, let's have a party back at mine" - man pulling the refreshments trolley on my train
This dude either loves or hates his job
There's no in between
Fr
Smart panda!
@@Adam-nz3ix took the words right out of my mouth.. or fingers?
As a train driver I can tell you he loves it.
I found panda and the CCP want to know my location
Ngl but the "WOOOOOOOoooooo" part caught me off guard. Had me burst laughing.
It’s WooooOOOOoooo
Same. I definitely burst out laughing there. XD
Same
spoilers!
Yoo same pfp
I’m so surprised how he didn’t even stutter at all. He’s probably been joking around with the passengers for years. This is why I love trains, you can joke around without worrying.
I know someone who took a flight with Ryanair. The landing was extremely bumpy, so much so that the plane actually bounced back up into the air before landing again. Once they came to a stop the pilot came over the tannoy to do his landing announcement, and finished by saying "Ryanair, two landings for the price of one."
supreme ryanair pilot he knows the memes
The prime example of someone who takes pleasure in life in general, and doesn’t let the rest of the world bring him down :)
😔😔
A true gamer
@@lifenote1943 ? He was talking about the REAL life.
@@onemanarmyoma0155 you wouldn't get it
@@lifenote1943 I couldn't care less
I once had a pilot say he was fresh out of pilot school and once he figures out what these buttons do hopefully we’ll be in the air.
Imagine if that were true....
@@Commander167 Jesus christ calm down, the pilot was joking.
SuitedBadge401 yes but he is lying. No professional airline pilot would say that.
Steven Wilding r/whoosh
@@Commander167 Then take a joke, will ya?
My train once had to go back to the main station due to some or an other reason, The train driver said: “Ok, everyone. You are allowed to swear, you are allowed to be angry, You aren’t allowed to shoot anyone though.”
I'm hoping that was in a country that doesn't have a mass shooting problem.
We're sorry for the delay this has been caused by chronic underinvestment of rail infrastructure
“Good evening passengers, this is your pilot speaking, we’re right now going in the Atlantic ocean, i mean going above the Atlantic ocean”
we are now going in new york city
@@PeakApex dark…
@@hallooo8539 im sure the lights were
@@PeakApex i rate this 9 out of 11
That.... is actually something I can see myself genuinely accidentally saying
The WoooOOOOoooo felt like an impulse decision and honestly it’s one of the greatest things I’ve ever been close to witnessing, if not the only.
Can I just say, I love your profile picture so much.
•Lisa Simpson• I was literally about to comment that XD I saw the SQUIP and I’m a trash Fangirl for bmc so I’m over heere dying now
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO[O
•Lisa Simpson• same here
That'll nothing new for that person
I like to believe that every situation in England is basically a Monty Python sketch
Having lived in London for several months now... you're not far offf.
My favourite was a bus driver taking over his vehicle wearing dark glasses and carrying a white walking stick (both from Lost Property), being guided down the mess room stairs and onto the bus by a number of very helpful workmates...made for some interesting reactions...I suppose it couldn't happen today...
Would be class if a pilot did it, lol
Sounds like he's had a long night and his shift is nearly over. Poor guy. We'll let him have his fun.
That's what i thought :) but i love how he decided to share his joy of almost going home with others.
@@7snowdog or talking to avoid falling asleep
You'll let him have his fun?😂😂😂 Aye ok then.
I love the serious announcement of "We are out of Ferraro Roche"
@@wordzmyth And that the ambassador personally apologized for this unforgivable unconveniance
There is a recording from Ukrainian airlines, where pilot in an extremely relaxed voice said: "Dear passengers, you traveling via Ukrainian Intercity Airlines, temperature outside you could feel when you were outside, temperature inside you feeling right about now. We might experience some turbulence, we wouldn't want that obviously, but it might happen. I hope I won't disappoint you on my second flight regardless. We can do without clapping after landing, can't hear a thing here anyway." Then he attempted to say the speech in English, but stumbled on the second word and just concluded with "... who am I even trying for? Let's fly already"
Absolute legend.
Give this man a medal
Should’ve said that it was his first flight
oh my just excellent, wish I could buy that man a beer
One English guy at the back wondering why everyone else is laughing
In all seriousness tho, props to this dude for introducing me to towns & cities in the UK which I’ve never heard of before.
It's a particularly lovely slice of south London, that route!
This reminds me of this underground driver on Halloween this year (2021). Her name was Sarah, and she re-named all the stops to Halloween themed (for example, Belsize Park to Hellsize Park) lolll. Super fun!
My anesthesiologist told me it was his first day on the job but I fell asleep before I could respond with panic.
@Mekal Covic Well, It's not like doctors get experience out of thin air.
@@MiGujack3 haha, well said friend!
@Mekal Covic so many doctors do that when being out on anesthesia🤷♀️ I’m heard way worse lol, literally pretty much all of them are a joke and if they weren’t they wouldn’t have the job so
@@MiGujack3 of course not, they have to kill patients to gain experience. How else will they get their skill points?
@@MiGujack3 Truth
I once had the person on the airplane say “everyone going to Disney world?” And everyone shouted “yes” except for one person who said “no, I’m going to universal studios!”
wait wtf thanks for the likes what
Universal is better though.
@@rockysandman5489 true
@@rockysandman5489 No, Action Park is way better than both.
Fuck Disney
As someone who commutes regularly, they will pull something like this over the intercom every once in a while and it’s the best 😂 I think my favourite was this one time the guy made puns/jokes about the name of every station the train stopped at. It was GOLD 😂 xx
The station staff at Victoria Station on the Circle and District line are quite funny as well. "The doors will be closing in 5...4...3...2...1....Aw too late you missed it! You are going to have to be quicker than that to catch the next one!" Had me in stitches! 😆
I never *need* to stop at Victoria station, but now I'm gonna find a reason to.
I was on a plane and the pilot was blasting some Justin Bieber song and he was like "Y'all wanna go to Barbados? Put ya hand up if ya wanna go to Barbados" most ppl put their hand up (it was summer) and he said " Sorry but we gotta go to Italy" 😂
Hey man, Italy is still pretty good
"To anyone that just put their hand up... I can't see them, as I am currently flying a plane. Thank you."
i just imagine the pilot having a cartoony pout on his face after being told to go to itally
I'd rather go to Italy
I'd really go about anywhere right now that isn't here.
Nothing wrong with here, just too much of a good thing.
This is like an Easter egg dialogue in a game you get to hear if you stay on the train past the point where you're supposed to get off.
LMAO
IWHBYD
The narrator from The Stanley Parable got a new job. 😆
@@RissaFaith94 what about Wheatley
AHAHAHAHAAHAHAA
I once had a similar experince in a bus where the busdriver welcomed people onboard the bus at every stop and even wished them a wonderful day whenever they got off again. It made the trip for me personally a lot more cheerful and people were happy though we all wore a mask! ♥
The voice getting the resemblance of Rowan Atkinson is making the bit even funnier.
I love the harmless fun this guy has. I wish more public transport was like this more often, and less awkward silence and disconnected was.
Sdogga Man like 500
We've got simillar bus driver here in Poland, Warsaw. He was forced to stop even though passangers and people on social media liked him very much. I hope this man from video didn't have any issues in job, for example for turning off lights :/
666th like
I ruined the 666 likes :p
@badoch The lights sometimes go out on a subway car when there are crossing tracks, which means a gap in the power rail.
"The next stop is coming up shortly. Or at least it should be. If it isn't, we're lost. Which is going to be very confusing, as we've only been using the one track.
*"You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) by Dead or Alive" starts playing*
There was a website about spinning meat that I vaguely remember, featuring that song
@@nitromenoob
Do... do you mean *that* website?
@@thereseemstobeenanerror1219 I have heard of it, but I've never gone and looked for it
@@JetFalcon710 the website....... i remember going on it years ago..... i still remember what its called
@@nitromenoob oh so that's where it...
Never mind
The best ride of my life was taking a shuttle to Disneyland that was 10 minutes behind schedule. It felt just like that bus scene from Harry Potter, I've NEVER seen someone drive a bus that fast, all the while he's going _"hands and feet inside the ride, if you lose an arm we are NOT going back for it!"_ 🤣🤣
this is the most british thing i’ve ever seen and i love it
Pilot1: Hey why did you wanna become an pilot?
Pilot2: To surpass my fear
Pilot1: Heights?
Pilot2: No. Dying alone
That's great!
Well ok then
😂
HAHAHA no
You'll still be alone
I'm the 1k likes
@@nexo7181 thank you
i love how he added in all the necessary information hes required to give yet still manages to easily slip in some laughs
U play soul knight?
@@Robyamdam not at the moment, waiting for the online version to go global
The funny part is, that he is not actually required to give any information.
soul knight as in, the mobile game rougelite made by ChillyRoom?
It reminds me of The Jungle Cruise at Disneyland, "watch your step, and watch your head, and if you miss your step and hit your head, watch your language. There are children." Creative liberties threaded into important announcements always makes a journey more enjoyable.
Man, I've been to the UK 3 times so far and I am always looking forward to train rides, because the announcements some train drivers have prepared are just awesome. Better than any comedy show :D
I've only had such a cool train driver once here in Germany and everyone loved it. Bless these men and women for putting smiles on people's faces!
I live in Switzerland and one of the ticket inspector I had almost sang the announcement. And then on a later train ride he checked my ticked and I recognized him from his voice again. I complimented him.
I've lived in the UK my whole life and have never heard a fun announcement 🤧
@@ajc94 Same :( though I don't travel by train often enough for that to be weird probably
Don't go to Newcastle if u don't want a cancelled yet arrived train 😃
*No srsly, don't you will have to get a bus*
I use the tram every day to work and there is this one guy sometimes that runs the tram and when there is someone running to catch it he tells everyone to round of applause to the guy for catching it. Little things like this man really just give a little hop to your day.
Pilot announces "Now passengers, if you are afraid when the plane takes off, just do what I always do -
I Close my eyes"
A pilot for my brother going to the US announced mid-flight "Attention all passengers who are awake. I'd like to to share with you all I have a 75% success rate, and this is my fourth flight today. As some would advise you, buckle up!".
Turns out he was talking about how often most of the passengers were made nervous when he makes that joke, which he announced a few minutes later.
That's hilarious and terrifying
@@rustywastakenwastaken Agreed...
@@harryunderwood9387 I'd quite like my pilot to have some grasp of basic maths.
How can he have a 75% success rate across three flights?
@@alansmithee419 75% of the time he made the majority of his passengers nervous on his flights by making that joke. Clearly didn't mean he only had those three flights to learn from, especially since he did it multiple times each day.
Get this guy on Radio
What are you doing here Drae?
WooooOOooo Dreagast....
+Soupiest Panda99 He was watching a video
Holy shot, look who we have here
Hey what's up man funny seeing you here
I remember this guy, we were on a train coming back from London and he said there was a replacement bus service at Purley. Then he said I know a song about that and started to sing the wheels on the bus go round and round. We need more like him.
Once, on St Pancras train North the announcer said that "passengers should change at Northampton for onward connections, if they like that sort of thing." The humour was a breath of fresh air.
I wish all drivers and pilots were like this entertaining.
Belive me no one would want pilots like this,people are already scared of flying and i am pretty sure everyone wants to feel professionalism from pilots instead of sense of humour
@@kaya5168 Well, for the people who aren't scared of flying, it's better.
Kaya it might actually help people relax tbh I hate flying and terrified of accident death- this would actually really help me.. I use humour to cope a lot so..
@@lillidaisyASMR YEs
@@lillidaisyASMR it would help me as well tho I'm terrified of heights.
Guys like this make the excruciating 2 hour delays slightly more bearable :')
Oh wow hi Evan.
+Evan Edinger Thanks for sending me here!
NAVE REGNIDE
+Evan Edinger EVANN!!!!!!!!
EVANNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!
My favourite was “This train has developed a technical fault and will be taken out of service at the next station. For passengers travelling to Uxbridge they should wait on the platform for the following train, unless you happen to be married to my ex-wife in which case you should change to platform 2 and get the first train going in the opposite direction”
I was working as production assistant to actor Callum Fairweather and we were flying back to Scotland when the Stewardess asked if he wanted to do the arrival announcement. He basically did 5 minutes of improvised stand up....I cant remember all of it but I remember he started by saying "Ladies and gentlemen, we have just arrived in Glasgow....Sorry about that.".....He then mentioned something about Scotland forgetting to turn the heater on and Security and rubber gloves.😂
This train driver doesn't belong on this planet ..
His soul is too pure for this world ..
You deserve an applause
How do you know its a human? Maybe its a Robot or an Alien in disguise ?
sickofitall89 srsly
So...you want him to...Die?
Actual announcement: "Unusually, we're arriving at our destination this evening, some twelve minutes early. We can only apologise for this, and hope it doesn't cause inconvenience to any of our passengers who were expecting to arrive several minutes late as is usual. Rest assured, the driver will be reprimanded for carrying out his duties in such a lax manner."
Lol 😂
Love it!!!
About 20 years ago I worked in the ticket office at a train station. One day the manager came round and actually made me announce that the next train would be on time - because it was that rare!
I then had passengers come into the ticket office checking whether they had heard right.
Sums up the British railway nicely there 😂
@@ANerdFails in India ur lucky if the train even arrives 😂
I was once on a train where the pre-recorded message glitched and said, 'and remember, if you do not have a valid ticket, transfer, or pass, thank you!'.
My last train went through some tiny city I'd never heard of, the train conductor announced it as "finally we're about to arrive in World City Gütersloh!!"
(I'll remember the city forever because the train broke down there, all of us were told to leave and make our own way to our destinations, and i stood in the freezing cold 4h away from everyone I know in this country waiting for any other train for over an hour. Good times in Gütersloh, world city)
Once a train drive said before take off “if your baby starts crying, god help you. Because these people hate crying babies” I was like “uuuuhhhhh”
Is this a British phrase that I haven’t heard before? Because in my culture, if a “train” is going to “take off”, there are problems ahead. ✈️
@@sampetrie340 It's not a British phrase to my knowledge, unless the English are all taking off on their trains (I'm Scottish fyi)
@@bigbadgammagnome it isn't and Scottish is British so don't know why you said English
Might have been autocorrecting taking to take from taking. I know saying I'm about to take off would just be another way of saying heading out.
Well he wasnt lying!
Few months ago I was on a bus where the driver kept singing out the names of each street we stopped at. Like straight up singing the words. "We're now arriving at BROADWAAAAAY~~YEAH~~"
It was the best bus ride ever.
😍
* train *
Diamondz _xx !! nah he definitely said bus
@@zarah1466 smh
Hmmm... “you never see it cooming!” “We’re now arriving at broaaadway!”
I see the resemblance...
Traveling on the London Underground you sometimes get these hilarious drivers as well - I particularly remember one on the Jubilee Line from Baker Street towards the northwest where the (lengthy) announcement included:
"Usually this train can drive you insane, but today we're only going so far as Wembley..." 🤣🤣🤣
I was stuck in a train because the doors wouldn't open. When they finally fixed it and the doors swung open the conductor proclaimed: "Customer retention is what we call thát!"
the most British thing since Mr Bean
Whatever they're paying this man, it could never be enough
britsh “people”
Hello yet again father
@@gabrieljr5410 what
He irish
@Elliot Bergh Bro who tf puts the water first
I like it when the driver turns off the lights on the train and goes "WooooOOOOooo!" Lol!
Finley Small am I the only reply
Finley Small iuu
Finley Small Ik, that's funny 😂
Nemesi Jesus, all of you are ten years old, and need to calm the fuck down. What with the shitty grammar and comebacks.
Firstly, you want to see correct use of the English language; it's right here.
I don't need to prove anything professor, it's the internet, I can use whatever grammar I like.
Lastly, I am very calm, prove I am not.
a train in germany was going too fast so they had to wait for like 10 minutes at a smaller trainstation to get clearance to get into the central station, the driver was on the intercom and said "I pressed the gas padel a bit too much and we're now waiting for clearance, should take like 10 minutes, i dont know, go outside and have a smoke or something"
As our plane was taxiing for takeoff our stewardess announced “In order to make the person sitting next to you look more attractive, we’ll be dimming the lights at this time.”