If you drink enough water it makes peeing in the shower kind of redundant (I mean it's cleaning, shhh) and semen more like white Gatorade than maybe you guys would believe
I was in the car with my sister when she drove passed a Forever 21 for the first time. She said to me, “It’s a store for 21 year olds? That’s oddly specific.” I responded, “21 year olds don’t want to be 21. It’s a store for 14 year olds and 35 year olds who do.”
The towel thing had me. We have THREE sets of towels; 1) top shelf, color coordinated with the bathroom, on display that we don’t use. 2) the towels from the last house that WERE top shelf but don’t go with new decor, but are the ones we USE now. 3) “boat towels” These are the same as her dog towels, but we have a boat, not a dog. Can’t have too many boat towels. Most used items on the boat, (not used on people, just used on boat)
Oh damn, our boat towels get used on people but only on the boat! They are ugly and have a few holes so we don't want people to see us use them, but they're perfectly functional for drying off after swimming in the lake/canals with sand and sometimes algea lol
Friend of mine has the most disgusting old pillows they're like compacted to 1cm heights. So I gifted her some cute new couch pillows and she put em away for 'when her pillows are through and need replacing :)' no cmon it's time
If the washing machine or dish washer starts leaking for whatever reason- old towels When the dogs need a bath- old towels Need something around my shoulders when I dye my hair- old towels Need something to wipe with when cleaning the bathroom- old towels Dog gets car sick- old towels They can be used for so many things
I'm not even going to go into detail about the fight my husband picked with me in Walmart with people everywhere raising his voice bc I told him the smaller pads are for a light flow....his argument was the smaller pads were for small girls. Then again, he is always right and always argumentative with me about everything - still, years later. Hence why I feel incapable, yet if I leave, then I am the bad person. Ladies, this is why in-patient treatment therapy should be free and required throughout a marriage.
I don’t find anything dirty about peeing in the shower. The water is flowing and it’s all going down the drain. Ppl take some things too seriously. It’s not a big deal.
Solution to that as well: Skootch your cootch right up to the bathtub stopper; pull the plug on the tub and let her go. Forty-five seconds later, you're finished and have a good reason to add some more hot water to the tub. Or that's how I imagine it would go.
Maybe it's just me, but I think it's weirder to stop the shower, get out and pee. Then hop right back in the shower and go about your business. It's not like the pee sticks to you for the rest of the day.
Maybe so. But when I look into my toilet, and how often I have to remove that urin residue from it, and think about how often I clean my shower (never)...nah. I keep using the toilet 🙂
I was raised single mother and a year younger sister. I'm also a biology major and raise Huskies. I have never understood what is so gross either. All Female Placental Mammals have menstrual cycles it's how the body gets ride of unused tissue.
I live with my boyfriend and two male roommates and I talk openly about my period all the time. My boyfriend says he loves buying me tampons because he says it makes him feel like a great boyfriend lol. Which I super appreciate when I’m dying from cramps and don’t want to stand up or go anywhere because of the pain. As for my two male roommates, I feel like being open about periods with them will only make them better boyfriends to their future partners. They both grew up with only brothers, so they don’t have much experience. I also have a husky btw!
The only video I happened to see of Jessie Rogers was one of those free massage videos. Once that gal got going she started sweating & the male pattern baldness was all I noticed.
I saw the dolphin joke coming from 10,000 feet. Still the best laugh up to that point. Stopped the video to type this and still laughing about it. Gonna go make a sandwich then watch the rest while I laugh about the dolphin a few more times.
i never understood, how peeing in the shower is weird or somethin... in my opinion its way worse to pee right before showering...since youre cleaning yourself anyway and instead just waste water.
I've never peed in the shower. I've never judged anyone for peeing in the shower, I just don't want to. Yet, I've had friends judge me for NOT peeing in the shower!!
Omg i have a lion king towel from 1997 that my mum wrote my name on in permanent marker when i was a child. It got downgraded to beach towel in about 2008, and i just love it. Never gonna let go of that one.
I pee in the shower intentionally aiming at my toes because, I found after I started doing that during every shower, I never had athletes foot again. The acidity makes it hard for any foot fungus to grow there, I guess. Pee is a sterilizer, mostly.
I was at a party once, and we were playing a game. A girl said she peed in the shower, and everyone else raised their hands. They tried to pressure me, and I told them I never had. She said I was weird. So I tried doing that for a while. I hated it.
Apparently this is a secret women really aren't aware of: most men know how periods work. It's not that complicated, they took middle school biology, and they dated women other than you, and they are really, really concerned with pregnancies and a lifetime of child support. They've also learned that how they are supposed to feel about them, is however you want them to, and absolutely no other way. It can be prudish for them not to want to have sex when you're on your period, or it can be demanding and gross of them to ever even think about the possibility. Either extreme is absolutely, 100% objective truth. Their ex definitely didn't see it the other way. And pretending they are ignorant is way easier than having an opinion. A 25 and 45 year old man likely know the same things, they also know women have different expectations of them, and act accordingly.
Put pillows outside in the sun every so often. Sanitizes them and certainly ensures dust mites are finished. Or if easier, inside at a bright sunny window.
“pee on dry porcelain, like a serial killer” cracked me the f*ck up
That is a fantastic line.
Can confirm, I do that ;)
Same
I chuckled a few times at first but the entire bit about the vasectomy had me dying.
"Does it taste better without kids in it?"
the white flavor gatorade was what got me 💀💀💀
Beyond burger was the one
Yes
nope just less filling
If you drink enough water it makes peeing in the shower kind of redundant (I mean it's cleaning, shhh) and semen more like white Gatorade than maybe you guys would believe
I love her brutal honesty! It's refreshing and hilarious.
It's at max shallow.
She's awesome, hits on tons of topics that I haven't really heard from comedians
yeah and she's got a nice rack and a fat ass too.
really? first female comedian youve seen?
@@dervakommtvonhinten517 right? Funny but derivative
Not funny! And very rude!
@michael
No need to be a woman about it...
I was in the car with my sister when she drove passed a Forever 21 for the first time. She said to me, “It’s a store for 21 year olds? That’s oddly specific.”
I responded, “21 year olds don’t want to be 21. It’s a store for 14 year olds and 35 year olds who do.”
She clearly has not tried a shower beer. Thats the most addictive. You get a nice super cold beer and the hot water is just a miracle.
wasn't gonna drink today but it's raining outside and that just sounds wonderful
Shower beer is incredible!
I never tried it
oooo myyy goood why you told me that
You've definitely not had shower ice cream, then.
The towel thing had me. We have THREE sets of towels; 1) top shelf, color coordinated with the bathroom, on display that we don’t use.
2) the towels from the last house that WERE top shelf but don’t go with new decor, but are the ones we USE now.
3) “boat towels” These are the same as her dog towels, but we have a boat, not a dog. Can’t have too many boat towels. Most used items on the boat, (not used on people, just used on boat)
Oh damn, our boat towels get used on people but only on the boat! They are ugly and have a few holes so we don't want people to see us use them, but they're perfectly functional for drying off after swimming in the lake/canals with sand and sometimes algea lol
Yeah, we have people towels, car towels, and dog towels. Never will they meet in the washer.
I have a boat towel room.
There are two kinds of people in this world. Those who pee in the shower. And those who lie about peeing in the shower.
I really don’t pee in the shower, and I don’t think I’m that rare 🤷♂️ my wife says she doesn’t either, fwiw
Try it, you’ll like it
You forgot the 3rd and 4th types... third pees on someone else in the shower... and well, we all know who the fourth one is at this point!😂🤷🏻♂️🙈
@@honestyknowsbest it’s always better to be pissed off than pissed on
@@DeadInside-ew8qbdepends on what you're into
Friend of mine has the most disgusting old pillows they're like compacted to 1cm heights. So I gifted her some cute new couch pillows and she put em away for 'when her pillows are through and need replacing :)' no cmon it's time
it's time to send this video to her
If the washing machine or dish washer starts leaking for whatever reason- old towels
When the dogs need a bath- old towels
Need something around my shoulders when I dye my hair- old towels
Need something to wipe with when cleaning the bathroom- old towels
Dog gets car sick- old towels
They can be used for so many things
Marvelous!!!!!!!! The whole time it didn't feel like a show, just a conversation. She is spectacularly talented. I couldn't breathe.
As soon as she mentioned dog towels, I was like "how do you know that about my towels?"
That are called “boat towels” for us and they are the most useful and used items on the boat. Never have too many boat towels.
Dude was not wrong about dolphins, though! They are intelligent but also absolute menaces.
I must admit, emotionally cheating with an elderly Armenian dentist is a pretty specific kink I've never heard of before.
Man, one of the few stand ups that have had me genuinely laughing from beginning to end.
I still have a towel my parents stole from the first Holiday Inn they stayed in sometime in the mid 1950's embroidered with their logo.
If EVER I had a chance to see Kelsey in live performance, I’d jump at it! She is a RIOT!
“It’s all PIPES!!” - G.C.
Worlds are colliding!
I thought of George on Seinfeld too 🤣
Pee in the shower? Sure, it’s called saving a flush
"Whoooo's settling?" Now THAT was funny.
Never heard of her before, glad I saw this. Very good!
I'm not even going to go into detail about the fight my husband picked with me in Walmart with people everywhere raising his voice bc I told him the smaller pads are for a light flow....his argument was the smaller pads were for small girls.
Then again, he is always right and always argumentative with me about everything - still, years later.
Hence why I feel incapable, yet if I leave, then I am the bad person. Ladies, this is why in-patient treatment therapy should be free and required throughout a marriage.
Some people even use the towels as rugs and stand on it after getting out of the shower so as not to wet the floor.
I've replaced some towels, seeing the quality of replacement towels I've been washing my "quality" older towels on a gentler cycle.
Soap in the shower is convenient. Ask him about guys peeing in a sink in an emergency.😂
As a guy, I can always appreciate some period jokes to pad out a conversation ;)
I don’t find anything dirty about peeing in the shower. The water is flowing and it’s all going down the drain. Ppl take some things too seriously. It’s not a big deal.
Right, she made that clear. That was the point of her bit.
I am glad she mentions the amy adams thing. I spent the entire video thinking the same lol.
I am sitting on a full train and it was soooooo hard to hold the laughter in 😂
There is only one exit drain from your building/house, shower and toilet all go into the same drain.
Might as well do it all in one trip, I pee, brush my teeth, wash my hair. It’s overall a good time saver surely that just makes sense
someone once mentioned how much easier it is to floss and brush in the shower and it changed my life.
@@JFMuni yeah dude its like it all gets done in one hit you get out feeling fresh as a daisy everywhere possible
Yep doing this all my life now idk how ppl just brush n sit there without a bath
Probably saves some water too
I'm happy to find fellow shower multitasker. My family members judge me for brushing, shave, and shower.
You know you have been peeing in the shower too long when you are laying in the bath tub and you actually consider doing it.😮
As a kid I used to do it but I'd James bond it lik3 before the cloud reached me😂, I mean I learned later on that's not how it works 🤣
Solution to that as well: Skootch your cootch right up to the bathtub stopper; pull the plug on the tub and let her go. Forty-five seconds later, you're finished and have a good reason to add some more hot water to the tub. Or that's how I imagine it would go.
And this is one of the reasons I, as an adult, will not take a bath.
Aah come on it was inside of you for hours, what's it gonna do if it touches the outside for a few minutes.
Jokes on you, I'm into that shit.
Absolutely hysterically funny, creative, polished and unrestrainedly bold as a brass ass with a dynamite delivery.
She should collaborate with Iliza Schlesinger, they would be hysterical together. Excellent performance. 😂😂😂
Maybe it's just me, but I think it's weirder to stop the shower, get out and pee. Then hop right back in the shower and go about your business. It's not like the pee sticks to you for the rest of the day.
For how long do you shower that you need a pee break xD
I agree. Especially if you don’t dry off when you get out. Then you’re just making everything a mess
Hear! Hear!
ya'll don't pee BEFORE you get in the shower?
Maybe so. But when I look into my toilet, and how often I have to remove that urin residue from it, and think about how often I clean my shower (never)...nah. I keep using the toilet 🙂
I was raised single mother and a year younger sister. I'm also a biology major and raise Huskies. I have never understood what is so gross either. All Female Placental Mammals have menstrual cycles it's how the body gets ride of unused tissue.
I live with my boyfriend and two male roommates and I talk openly about my period all the time. My boyfriend says he loves buying me tampons because he says it makes him feel like a great boyfriend lol. Which I super appreciate when I’m dying from cramps and don’t want to stand up or go anywhere because of the pain. As for my two male roommates, I feel like being open about periods with them will only make them better boyfriends to their future partners. They both grew up with only brothers, so they don’t have much experience. I also have a husky btw!
There was this one time I was giving oral to a lady and I licked a blood clot out of her.
Have you ever had a man give you oral sex while you were on your period?
My gf grew her bush out in quarantine, and I told her to keep it.
👍
Was literally googling the star she mentioned when she talked about zoom comedy shows! She got me, lol
same lol
I came here to say the same thing! Lmaooo
The only video I happened to see of Jessie Rogers was one of those free massage videos. Once that gal got going she started sweating & the male pattern baldness was all I noticed.
Two things: 1) did you think the porn star looked like the comedian? 2).wondering if all the others who agreed are men.
It's funny because its kinda true. She has a similar look to her lmao.
I saw the dolphin joke coming from 10,000 feet. Still the best laugh up to that point. Stopped the video to type this and still laughing about it. Gonna go make a sandwich then watch the rest while I laugh about the dolphin a few more times.
keep us updated on your laughing schedule
I just looked up Jessie Rogers (never heard of her before) and...yeah...omg...😆😂🤣 (...opening browser...)
(thank you Kelsey Cook)🤣
I looked it up and it was a dude who works for ESPN
I had a boyfriend yell at me about peeing in the shower… I thought out of all the creatures,men…. Would understand
Are you sure he was a man? We have a meeting annually, and I've never met any guy that doesn't pee in the shower.
Haha never. There are a few boundaries, not many, but a few 😜
You had a girlfriend
@Andre
Our chapter has a quota system now following what shall only be referred to as "the sink incident"
Yeah ex boyfriend, dumped your ass.
i never understood, how peeing in the shower is weird or somethin...
in my opinion its way worse to pee right before showering...since youre cleaning yourself anyway and instead just waste water.
Agreed. If I know I'm gonna shower soon, I just hold the pee until then. Just a waste of water otherwise.
I've never peed in the shower. I've never judged anyone for peeing in the shower, I just don't want to. Yet, I've had friends judge me for NOT peeing in the shower!!
close the shower curtain if need a safe space
Cut loose bro, let'er rip
I am, I'm judging.😂 that's weird, friend.
I don’t think it’s weird at all to not use your shower as a toilet.
@mac8032 Say What? Even if you've got a full bladder? Come on, just let it flow.
My Dogs like those towels.😂
Glacier Frost on tap!!! LOL
I laughed all the way through this !! SO Funny !!
I pee in the shower and my pillows and towels are over 9 years old. I live alone 😅
I read, I pee in the shower and my pillows and towels.
It’s nice to see somebody finally able to start trending back into territory that’s been held back lately!!!
Periods?
To be fair, Dolphins really are the r@pists of the sea.
3:11 that guy doing the slow fake laugh LMAO
I was searching for Jessie Rogers when she completed the Jessie Rogers joke 😂. It’s like she sees the future.
Kelsey Cook is refreshing
The quotation stuff, was so funny, plus I am so thankful I was alone during that time
Love her routine! I loved seeing her just destroy people at Foosball 😂
I think I'm going to start using the shower instead of the can to save water.
She's killing it! Giving Taylor Tomlinson a run for her money 💰!
lmao she got me on the jessie rogers bit, i never heard of her and wanted a comparison
Jesse Rogers search hits went 📈📈📈
I literally have my yu gi oh and lion king towels from 20 years ago I'm still using, they haven't fallen apart yet there still good...
the lion king one has my name sewn into it by grandma lmao
Omg i have a lion king towel from 1997 that my mum wrote my name on in permanent marker when i was a child. It got downgraded to beach towel in about 2008, and i just love it. Never gonna let go of that one.
Pillows $10???? LOL
Dude I laughed so hard I snorted almost the whole way through. Yeah I'm a fan now
just be careful peeing in the shower is the gateway drug to peeing in the bathroom sink
What?
@Stephen x 😆 Underrated comment !
We're asians.
The toilet takes a lot of effort and the only other drain is the sink.
can confirm
The home urinal?
11:41 damn that's a solid tip on touch deprivation right there😸💖now i know what i need
she was good! had a good time with this set
I pee in the shower intentionally aiming at my toes because, I found after I started doing that during every shower, I never had athletes foot again. The acidity makes it hard for any foot fungus to grow there, I guess. Pee is a sterilizer, mostly.
OMG! Love this comedian. Dying laughing!
SHE IS VERY FUNNY AND ALSO BEAUTIFUL
I was at a party once, and we were playing a game. A girl said she peed in the shower, and everyone else raised their hands. They tried to pressure me, and I told them I never had. She said I was weird. So I tried doing that for a while. I hated it.
Pretty sure that makes you a psychopath
you weird man
try it while not doing a handstand?
@@kevbeer1 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
why was the peeing in the shower part so accurate about doing it once
Kelsey: "...realized that halfway through everyone would just open a new browser."
Me: **just coming back from a different browser.**
We call that a strawberry cream pie
My Down pillows cost more than $10 to replace!
Wow! She killed it. Really funny!
Who's settling? Bahaha....oh goodness that's such a good question
I don't see why anyone wouldn't pee in the shower. There's literally no downsides.
i don’t like the feeling of pee running down my leg, even if it’s only there for a second 🤢 grosses me out
How is this chick single? Hilarious!!
Amazingly, I pee at Forever 21.
The correct answer to "I pee in the shower "is , Can I watch.
I find this hilarious that people think this means something.
I am a CAM maintenance plumber.
ALL PLUMBING GOES TO THE SAME PIPES.
This was hysterical 🤣
You don't have boyfriend obv, enjoy peeing in the shower alone.
Who's settling, LOL. Oh man that had to hurt.
Exact convo my fiancé and I had when I told him about the pee shower LOL
Amazing! 😂 BTW, my pillow is with me for 20 years, just have good covers for it that protects it from humidity and gets washed all the time.
You can wash a pillow
Idk man, I washed my pillow two weeks ago and it STILL hasn't fully dried after having it run through the dryer for HOURS...
All drains lead to “away”…
Apparently this is a secret women really aren't aware of: most men know how periods work. It's not that complicated, they took middle school biology, and they dated women other than you, and they are really, really concerned with pregnancies and a lifetime of child support. They've also learned that how they are supposed to feel about them, is however you want them to, and absolutely no other way. It can be prudish for them not to want to have sex when you're on your period, or it can be demanding and gross of them to ever even think about the possibility. Either extreme is absolutely, 100% objective truth. Their ex definitely didn't see it the other way. And pretending they are ignorant is way easier than having an opinion. A 25 and 45 year old man likely know the same things, they also know women have different expectations of them, and act accordingly.
She's a mean Foosball player, funny and looks good to me.
this is one of he best routines I've ever seen.
Why did the forever 21 joke hit so hard😅
Oof yeah I felt that too, I'm 40 this year and still go there.
This girl is hori dream of meeting someone like that she's witty intelligent and funny❤ hats off unbridled humor
Great set, Kelsey!
towels do come in handy during a home birth.
Never expected to learn something about pillows 😂 thanks homie
Loved her set, she is GOOD! What is the "european accent", though?!
As the great Jenna Marbles once said:
"There are two kinds of people. Ones that pee in the shower and liars."
“Pet me Rachel!” 🤣 😭
$10 pillows?! Mine are like $60 each...
Mine were free, because they don't exist.
$99-120 for a good Serta memory foam pillow. I'm sure as heck not replacing it every year.
My pillow 2 for $100 and there still in good condition after several years.
@Randy Kroells My Pillow is the ground up memory foam debris leftover from superior pillows. I would pay a nickel for that garbage.
@@jasonlarsen4945 And it's Trumps buddy too.
Put pillows outside in the sun every so often. Sanitizes them and certainly ensures dust mites are finished. Or if easier, inside at a bright sunny window.
She's great! Dope set 👏🏼👏🏼
yea I learned it also, when I was 27! and until that time I had some girlfriends... so.. I was surprised, and loughed.