I literally felt it in my body that this person was bad for me. Irregular breathing and swallowing, not being able to remember anything, not having anything to talk about, etc. this relationship took a terrible toll on me
They truly do have selective memory. They’re soooo self involved that they do not experience the joys with u, oblivious to the beauties and wonders of the world
You have the same gift of discernment that I do. You can literally tell when someone is bad for you because you feel it in your body. I can feel it in the energy in their house as well. Really just the energy that I get from being around them.
I can relate…I knew from the beginning of our relationship that something was off. I just hoped that with time and maturity things would feel differently. The change I hoped for never came.
The difference between what they say and how they actually treat you results in cognitive dissonance. This can make you uncomfortable, anxious. It’s like your mind is telling you one thing while your body knows the opposite. Time to start running! These people literally make you ill.
If they do they don’t mean it. I received plenty of fake apologies. The way I could tell was that nothing would ever change. And each time I’d bring it up after we make peace it would turn into a week long fight (partly my fault bc I couldn’t understand. Had no idea what a narcissist was).
@@ulovemex33 same as, infact she inturn tried to call me out if i was the narc, but under noway i reated her in the same way she treated me, and the way she finished with me, without any closer. i never knew what a narc was until yesterday,. these videos really help.
I've forgiven the narcissists in my life. I pray for them & unconditionally love them. I don't need them but I have empathy for them. I'm stronger for having survived them & the pain they put me through. Knowing how damaged they are helps me to not be susceptible to another narcissist. I deeply appreciate your videos. They've helped me to understand their behavior & I feel Blessed to have found your channel. God Bless you & yours. God Bless everyone who watches your videos... empaths & narcissists alike. Peace be within you. Maranatha! ☺️ 🙏🏻❤️💞💖 📯🎺🧬⤴️🌫️♾️
Your exactly feel how I feel . Lucky I found out how she was before it went further . Now I know for future people in my life. Now I know she had past trauma that I feel bad she went through
This video can give a person hope and cause you to feel sorry for the monster. They may say those things to you but only to set the hook deeper! Run and don’t ever date, marry or be involved with crazy again!
They could only say, "I hate that you have feelings, are smart & strong so the only way I can survive is to manipulate you and suck your soul to make me feel better".
For a God fearing person compassion is what keeps us alive. When we loose feelings for people we are actually dead . To be human is to have a spirit . Otherwise we are just an innanomate object like robots . But when we fall into a deep regret we have to break away from such disgusting feelings to bring ourself back to life .
Thanks! I have watched OVER 60 hours of videos from professionals trying to understand the narcissists INNER thoughts and THIS VIDEO made me truly appreciate them; I feel so much pain for them BUT I am still "NO CONTACT" with them for 5 weeks now, and will continue that.
I don't care how many times they dropped him on the floor when he was a baby. This doesn't give him or anyone the right to hurt others period. So tired of the pity parties.
This is interesting because the person I was with actually admitted what he is and told me about the relationship with their mother, and how she was never affectionate with him and used to criticise him. That they disassociated as a child, that they didn't feel emotionally mature, that they didn't know who they were. They told me pretty much everything, about the mask they wear, how exhausting it is to maintain the facade, that he didn't like feeling vulnerable, that he had a habit of wrecking people's lives. He said he felt ashamed for what he had done to me, which was really bad. I actually think he meant that. Luckily I cottoned on pretty quickly, but that was not before the devaluation and discard. I was so in love with him and it left me dazed and confused, but within a month I kind of knew what I was dealing with. He became so cold and detached as if we were strangers, but at the same time he clearly doesn't want to change. I suggested counselling and he was squirming and said he didn't want to. So sometimes they do open up. I just wondered what your thoughts on that were. Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe he was looking for sympathy so that I would keep putting up with him?
He could never say what means happiness to him. When sad things happened, he was saying „why should I be sad or cry?“ He’d propanol say: I’m too stupid to hide my new supply that’s why her handbag is visible in the front window of my car while she took a picture of me trying to be cool🤦🏼♀️ Left me after 6 years before wedding for a bar dancer who knew he was engaged with me, started dating her when my mom passed away🥴 How crazy & sick can someone be guys how? Hope karma hits them bad
Thank you so much for your time , effort and such informative information. Education is so important and hopefully this video will show others who are currently in such toxic relationships that the only solution is to walk away. Narcissism lower grade or NPD is highly destructive both mentally and emotionally
They would say they only have a shell and no substance in my opinion. They want to be an extension of you. They want to feel and be happy like you are. Unfortunately they can't feel. They Never make long lasting relationships. They can't take accountability. Everything is your fault. There is no logic behind it. You will get to the point of being stronger than ever. It is a process. You will get there. I am at that place now.
Listening to this made me shed tears.. I was discarded by the narcissist though we have so much chemistry.. he kept insisting that we wouldn’t work, but the truth is I would’ve done anything at all to keep the relationship alive. He said he will be dating other girls soon, and when he does that, we can’t be talking anymore. He asked what will I do then. I told him that when that happens, I will close the chapter in my book and move on with my life, and he would move on with his. But I don’t want to close the chapter just yet because I am not ready. The next few days were hell. He had gone cold. Bloody cold. I finally confronted him, and he says he don’t see a point in talking anymore if I’m going to close the chapter anyway. What was I suppose to do? Wait around for him? He then left. I miss him so much, and this video made me want to hug him and break no contact, and to soothe his trauma, and tell him that I’ll be here, and that I’ll never leave. 💔 I don’t understand why are they so broken and vulnerable, and yet so despicable.. I miss him. I miss him so so much.
No one ever can soothe their trauma, you have been manipulated and feeling their shame which was projected onto you. I’m so sorry! I’m 3 months no contact, he had supply during our 6years, which they always have, even when my mom passed away. Your feeling their guilt & shame. You can’t soothe it. It’s the only personal distorted which can’t be healed. It’s based on shame, also the only disorder which is like that. Don’t do it, i did it 3years before & forgave him, only to live the same again 3 years later while preparing our wedding. Don’t, please😔
He had another girl or two before he even left you. He doesn’t love you. They don’t love. He basically used you. Eventually you will realise this. Then it will be over for you . Goodluck
Go to therapy... truma band , toxic relation... cut the rob. They make memories with drinks ,places, music , light ,words, perfums... be smart .don't use them at all.Cut all of them. It was a trap . Do you love a trap ??
Nothing to do with his 'trauma'... you just weren't good looking enough for him obviously.... you're also obviously very needy... which good looking women are not lol. Sadly you will never forget him no matter how many chapters you close.
@@DeepInside9 That is very cruel indeed. You are "obviously" a wicked individual at a time when someone is in deep need. All survivors fully understand the initial stages post-discard and how traumatic and earth- shattering that is. You don't. So that speaks volumes. Probably negative fuel pumps you up. I would suggest you get help for your condition before posting such distasteful rubbish on sites like this. Ciao.
Thankyou so much, it makes so much sense in my situation. 16 years. I know and wanr so much to help her, and cried in understanding it would be unwise of me to ever get back with her, but have peace knowing now of her protection mode of her early trama
My ex narc told me that { he created this life for his self and he didn't know how to stop doing what he doing and I should move on he looked so sad telling me this .
It’s a sob story to get you to feel sorry for them! Stop. Don’t. Move on. Trust me I’ve been there done that. The minute they regain the power or get your back however you want to put it they’ll go back to blaming you.
What happens if they do get caught in a vulnerable position?? A narc injury? Do they just want to hate/blame and attack that person they think caused? can they forgive????
Depending on the injury...Injuries can happen often, most likely you are talking about mortification. In this case (at least covert narcs) are pulling away from social events, they rarely go out clubbing, etc. This can happen especially if you fought back with proof about how big liars they are and you expose them to their new supply. If they really betrayed you badly (chances are they did) they will suspect you and call you even if you are in no contact. In this case, you should deny everything and gaslight them instead to give them a taste of their own medicine. They already trained you on how to do that 😂 It's the shame that causes the mortification, and because they lack emotional regulation they can not handle it like a healthy person would. In rare cases, narcissistic mortification might cause them to self-reflect and realize that something is off with them, and decide to visit a therapist. Most of them do not follow that route though. Only if they hit the absolute bottom of the barrel "might" try to seek help.
Honestly. They’ll just find way to flip it on you. They’ll get caught. And most of the time that’s when they give you the silent treatment. They don’t know what to say or do.
@@nikoseen From his point of view, I think, he was mortified by a small thing I did, that he interpreted badly as against him, but it really wasn't or I couldn't know he was so fragile, he did me a discard. Then, I think he was trying to trick me to reveal what or why I did what I did, and desperately needs me to be the villain. If I reveal what he also did, then it's like Aha! got you!! so I won't fall into his trap, at least without proper two way communication about it. Instead, just rev hoover cryptic where he crafts one sided as only him as judge and jury. Called him a King in my response cryptic mess, think I got another discard, he can't handle it, doesn't know what to say, sad.
I have so much love, such deep empathy, understanding, and was willing to love her through it all. This video has me in tears, I know there is no loving her face to face and the damage she’s caused with her acting out, gaslighting and self trashing is just too much at this point. Now I have to love me through it all, reaching deep for that empathy and compassion for myself within myself. 😢
I loved a narcissist for 6 years I blame myself for how they treated me. Because I allowed it, narcissist or not I don’t allow disrespect but unfortunately I did this with my narc I no longer love them but I learn there tricks there games there con. Right now we still talk but no longer a supply no longer controlled emotionally I feel sorry for her I’ll see what happens I always telling her the truth about how she is before I was scared of losing her now I’m not scared
That's so strange, i was scared of loosing them too. So i let my boundaries get trampled on because i wanted the euphoric love bombing to continue. I wanted their approval. That's how it all goes wrong. I see it now, i never saw it at the time because i was under a spell.
@@Miester7 i’m fully aware now that I can’t fix or change her. I fully understand her insecurities her vulnerabilities I understand why she caused me so much pain. I made it abundantly clear I’ve been on to her for months even a year. I made it clear I know who she is I told her about her cons and tricks, she now know I know and we talk just talk nothing else I keep getting road bumps but I continue to be truthful about her behaviour and her trauma which may have caused it
@richardmartin566 4 months later... how is this going? I've been wrapped up with a covert narc for a few months. I had my gut screaming increasingly as time went on. It took me a few weeks to settle on her likely being a vulnerable Narcissist. And a few more weeks before my heart finally accepted the fact. It was soul crushing because of how much I cared & invested in her. Like you know that I know the game I'm no longer scared of losing her like before. But the empath in me still wants to help her. Not the false image she has portrayed but to at least attempt to get her to be real. I want her to know the jig is up, & that I have no desire to expose her. I simply want to try helping her. I guess to be there like a therapist where she could feel at least somewhat safe to open up & maybe shine a light on why she feels the need to behave in such a way. I know this is likely a fools errand, but it's something I'd like to at least attempt before wiping my hands & walking away. I know it will always gnaw at me if I don't at least try. The problem is I have no idea how to approach it. Like how do you convince them it's safe to let their guard down & trust someone only wants what's best for them?
@@Miester7 me too it bothers me so much because I knew better, I saw things a mile away I just ignored it. Now because she knows I know she’s a rattlesnake my heart is protected it may seem stupid but I may leave my door open for nothing more than a conversation, I know you must go no contact but from a distance yes I know stupid. She’s moved on with new supplies apparently
@@danp1471 exactly the same I want to help her but I accepted I can’t, but from a distance I understand I can still think of her still wish her well while working on me, improving my life and help me not get back into this situation again.
This is really so sad. I knew one for quite a while and by the end believe I was seeing the true self - boring/bored and irritable - but remained in love and entranced by them and the masks they went through before getting to that point. They were unemphatic (except cognitively!) and abusive but did a heckufa job attempting the other, more benign personalities. Early in the relationship they said they had enough belief in it for both of us and now that I've let the toxins out all i can feel is compassion. They were talented as hell, colorful and after watching Jacob Skidmore saying that if you could tell them that you know they have secrets and secret sides but love them all that they would melt, and all i want to do now is tell them that. Even after the half-ass smears. I don't care, i did things wrong as well. But i can live with what I've done, don't care much about overly judgemental shame and really truly feel for them and the exhausting but incredible fantasy they projected. Amor omnia vincit - almost.
I am truly hurt when I found out my ex cheated on me with his ex girlfriends.. not just one. He apologized but I couldnt forgive him and left him in the end. As soon as I left him, he contacted me with emails and calls ..at the same time he found new supplies .. he is saying that I left him so he met someone else. It is so hard to comprehend... how come he proposed me 2 months ago then move on so quick as soon as I left him?
You will be fine. You have a good sense of who you are. They have no idea who they are so they just keep busy, attaching to people so they don't have to feel. They are empty shells. You have nothing/no one to envy because the power and bright light is inside of you! I will pray for you! 🩶🪻🪻🪻✨️✨️
@@SweepDailyWin yes I agree. It is the way he keeps himself busy. I will focus on myself and forget about him. But I just feel like I was just being used..
They can move on because that's what they do...try to fill the void inside of themselves instead of realizing they should work on becoming a real human being. I'm going through that right now. Girlfriend of 2.5 years (ironically, accused me of emotionally cheating with my ex-girlfriends when I was doing no such thing) discarded me and moved on immediately a month ago.
@@tulipk-h3d I understand! I suffered abuse from 2 narc family members for decades. It's not a nice feeling to have been used. What helps me is knowing I'm free now and I am taking time to heal...and then start to rebuild a beautiful life for myself. They're evil, dark and manipulating..they will always live in lies, misery and darkness. You have a very clear mind, I can tell. You are okay and will heal each day 🌻
Right after he hit me for the 1st time out of the blue .. he cried & said he just wants a normal relationship. That was the 1st time id ever been hit by a partner btw .. so I tried to reasure him that I would never give him reason to doubt or not trust me
Compartmentalizing...that was the same advice I gave Charles Huskinson ( CEO of Cardano) when I had the chance to talk to him on his channel when he ask the crypto community ( In part of xrp army💪😎) and he humbly heard me and thank me because he was trying to fix his issues with security breach inside his company and I have background with security clearance and how thing get done in the military is that same way so I completely understand that concept that could be applied to psychology and other areas. The paths we take in life gives us the tools to deal with understanding other situations in life...great content Im your best fan!!!
A man named Narcissus, Encountered a demon that told him the first person he saw would make a bond to his soul and he would fall in love 😍 with..... unfortunately he walked to a lake closeby, looked into the water 💦 and saw his reflection reflecting on the surface, . He immediately fell in love, with it, Jumped into the lake, only to down 👇 and with a heavy ❤ heart, the demon saw this, resurrected the essense of NARCISSIST and now it walks the earthly realm praying on empathetic, with all the hate and pain of the true narcissist, entities have no gender, and come only as temptation to plague ♀️♂️⚧️man. 😮
my ex wife favourite song is Iris from the Goo Goo Dolls. 2 weeks ago the song was playing at work and i paid attention to the lyrics...I think in a way she was telling me how she feels inside through the song. one day i'll ask her.
She cheated on me, lied to me, and discarded me like trash..i shouldn't pity this person because of her disorder..she knew she was hurting me yet she didn't understand why..
Ja Anoushka de tænker kun på dem selv og kun dem selv bare de kan få deres svar fra andre så er de bund og grund lige glad med andre. Kan du ha en vidunderlig dag i det dejlige sommer vejr 😉🌞🌞🌞
Yes, they told me they wish they could love...and be happy. So much self protection for these b***stards. While kind people make all sacrifices for them. Both wrong.
My narc husband is using the scriptures against me 😥. 4hrs of back and forth battle and now using God to justify he can't go against God's will 😢. He keeps adding, we as the breakdown of our marriage and not him,😥. I asked that actual question, what is your feeling about me. I love you and thats it.. 😢😢😢😢. I'm stuck he's now saying I'm deceived by the Devil. I'm listening to my flesh, blah blah I'm going have to go no contact again 😭
When i finally was getting through to my girlfriend one night she turns and talked to all three and said he not listening and i turned my head and said let her think for herself for one minute 😂😂😂 TRUE STORY
i nailed mine an she didnt see it coming. I'm an empath. they r easy to destroy cos they have an over rated sense of self, lower them into a false sense of security and have patience
i hope to joning the live feed but time zones may make it difficult. ive been looking back through my life and the relationships ive had and see a similar pattern. id love to know how to learn how to form honest loving relationships rather than continually finding a narcissist. surly this must mean i am a fault somewhere and enable these people to do what they do. Im also worried that my teenage children will be subjected to this as i no longer live with them.
It’s really sad because a narcissist have a mental disorder and they wouldn’t really know this or even realize that they need clinical help. Unfortunately It’s a cycle that continues.
Some know exactly everything like mine. He worked in Forensics and had PTSD patients in his own business. He acted this way with me but put a fake self for everyone else!
Ooooooopss, I loved narcissist for 14 solid years , but the betrayal and denial that she caused me it's very bad that I can't imagine , but thanks for such videos that is making me strong and forget her ASAP , she damaged the future of my kids (3), now she is just moving up and down with different in order to get supplies, but surely narcissist is still going down and down as the community know her movies. Thanks Jesus for saving my life. She wanted me dead.
What would the narcissist say: 1. They don’t feel due to traumatic background, so they disconnect, it’s too painful 2. I don’t fell 3. They have to trick you into falling in love with you 4. This triggers the abandonment and rejection wound 5. Have to trick you into staying with them 6. They have to gaslight and mirror you, and love bomb you 7. They admire you… patience 8. They study you to orchestrate a certain outcome 9. They fell safe when they are in control…. They don’t have an identity 10. Don’t want to make themselves vulnerable 11. They have to lie to you, if you knew the truth you would leave 12. They have to do this because they don’t want you to leave 13. They are tired of playing these games 14. They want things easy. They don’t want you to know the deep secrets they hold. It is full of darkness and pain. 15. They try to keep it hidden and we leave and disconnect 17. They would love to know how to love you, but they will not show any vulnerability
Narrator gas it wrong most narcisisstic i met being my family and exes had great childhood, they were often golden children!!! Pampered like in cotton.. so STOP EXUSING IT ON DAMAGED CHILDHOOD?!!!
Your content is not only very familiar…but I also see that you have been stealing from other reputable therapists and psychology sites without consent.
The copypasting on this RUclips is on another level...I've noticed you guys copy each other, for instance, this video was done by a diagnosed narc a few days ago, here you are.. can we be original, but again, factual? Huuuuh????
I literally felt it in my body that this person was bad for me. Irregular breathing and swallowing, not being able to remember anything, not having anything to talk about, etc. this relationship took a terrible toll on me
They truly do have selective memory. They’re soooo self involved that they do not experience the joys with u, oblivious to the beauties and wonders of the world
You have the same gift of discernment that I do. You can literally tell when someone is bad for you because you feel it in your body. I can feel it in the energy in their house as well. Really just the energy that I get from being around them.
@@babyhandgrenade4004 You felt that dick in your body and your 'discernment' went out the window.
I can relate…I knew from the beginning of our relationship that something was off. I just hoped that with time and maturity things would feel differently. The change I hoped for never came.
The difference between what they say and how they actually treat you results in cognitive dissonance. This can make you uncomfortable, anxious. It’s like your mind is telling you one thing while your body knows the opposite.
Time to start running! These people literally make you ill.
So in other words a Narcissists will ( NEVER ) make an apology for their disrespect and unkindness towards you...
If they do they don’t mean it. I received plenty of fake apologies. The way I could tell was that nothing would ever change. And each time I’d bring it up after we make peace it would turn into a week long fight (partly my fault bc I couldn’t understand. Had no idea what a narcissist was).
@ulovemex33 great advice I will keep that in mind 👍
They will if they losing you,
@@ceyciemateo9411 Facts 👌
@@ulovemex33 same as, infact she inturn tried to call me out if i was the narc, but under noway i reated her in the same way she treated me, and the way she finished with me, without any closer. i never knew what a narc was until yesterday,. these videos really help.
its interesting how they cant love a person but they sure as heck enjoy hurting people
Narcissist and honest don’t belong in the same sentence. Pathological liars. For narcissists, dishonesty is the best policy😂
exactly
💯💯
Trauma is no excuse to abuse others- arrested development they have, mental illness delusion
I'm glad I left bcuz the narcs have MAJOR issues that I can no longer b a part of...
I've forgiven the narcissists in my life. I pray for them & unconditionally love them. I don't need them but I have empathy for them. I'm stronger for having survived them & the pain they put me through. Knowing how damaged they are helps me to not be susceptible to another narcissist. I deeply appreciate your videos. They've helped me to understand their behavior & I feel Blessed to have found your channel. God Bless you & yours. God Bless everyone who watches your videos... empaths & narcissists alike.
Peace be within you.
Maranatha! ☺️
🙏🏻❤️💞💖
📯🎺🧬⤴️🌫️♾️
Your exactly feel how I feel . Lucky I found out how she was before it went further . Now I know for future people in my life. Now I know she had past trauma that I feel bad she went through
I can’t
You pray for their return.
Dick be within you.
I feel that way too
This video can give a person hope and cause you to feel sorry for the monster. They may say those things to you but only to set the hook deeper! Run and don’t ever date, marry or be involved with crazy again!
Yes, compassion is needed here, it helps to forgive without taking them back. Forgiveness is important for ourselves.
They could only say, "I hate that you have feelings, are smart & strong so the only way I can survive is to manipulate you and suck your soul to make me feel better".
For a God fearing person compassion is what keeps us alive. When we loose feelings for people we are actually dead . To be human is to have a spirit . Otherwise we are just an innanomate object like robots .
But when we fall into a deep regret we have to break away from such disgusting feelings to bring ourself back to life .
Thanks! I have watched OVER 60 hours of videos from professionals trying to understand the narcissists INNER thoughts and THIS VIDEO made me truly appreciate them; I feel so much pain for them BUT I am still "NO CONTACT" with them for 5 weeks now, and will continue that.
I’m so pleased to hear that this video provided you the insight that you needed. Keep going forward and learning and raising up ⭐️😊
I don't care how many times they dropped him on the floor when he was a baby. This doesn't give him or anyone the right to hurt others period. So tired of the pity parties.
😂😂😂
This is interesting because the person I was with actually admitted what he is and told me about the relationship with their mother, and how she was never affectionate with him and used to criticise him. That they disassociated as a child, that they didn't feel emotionally mature, that they didn't know who they were. They told me pretty much everything, about the mask they wear, how exhausting it is to maintain the facade, that he didn't like feeling vulnerable, that he had a habit of wrecking people's lives. He said he felt ashamed for what he had done to me, which was really bad. I actually think he meant that. Luckily I cottoned on pretty quickly, but that was not before the devaluation and discard. I was so in love with him and it left me dazed and confused, but within a month I kind of knew what I was dealing with. He became so cold and detached as if we were strangers, but at the same time he clearly doesn't want to change. I suggested counselling and he was squirming and said he didn't want to. So sometimes they do open up. I just wondered what your thoughts on that were. Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe he was looking for sympathy so that I would keep putting up with him?
He could never say what means happiness to him. When sad things happened, he was saying „why should I be sad or cry?“
He’d propanol say: I’m too stupid to hide my new supply that’s why her handbag is visible in the front window of my car while she took a picture of me trying to be cool🤦🏼♀️
Left me after 6 years before wedding for a bar dancer who knew he was engaged with me, started dating her when my mom passed away🥴
How crazy & sick can someone be guys how?
Hope karma hits them bad
My ex wife would say to me from time to time THIS MAKES ME FEEL! I never understood it. After this I do. Thank you great video.
Thank you so much for your time , effort and such informative information.
Education is so important and hopefully this video will show others who are currently in such toxic relationships that the only solution is to walk away. Narcissism lower grade or NPD is highly destructive both mentally and emotionally
Amazingly said so very very true !
They would say they only have a shell and no substance in my opinion. They want to be an extension of you. They want to feel and be happy like you are. Unfortunately they can't feel. They Never make long lasting relationships. They can't take accountability. Everything is your fault. There is no logic behind it. You will get to the point of being stronger than ever. It is a process. You will get there. I am at that place now.
Never heard this perspective, it's a great eye opener. Thank you for helping me understand this better!
I feel so sorry for them, especially for my still husband
Listening to this made me shed tears.. I was discarded by the narcissist though we have so much chemistry.. he kept insisting that we wouldn’t work, but the truth is I would’ve done anything at all to keep the relationship alive. He said he will be dating other girls soon, and when he does that, we can’t be talking anymore. He asked what will I do then. I told him that when that happens, I will close the chapter in my book and move on with my life, and he would move on with his. But I don’t want to close the chapter just yet because I am not ready.
The next few days were hell. He had gone cold. Bloody cold. I finally confronted him, and he says he don’t see a point in talking anymore if I’m going to close the chapter anyway.
What was I suppose to do? Wait around for him?
He then left.
I miss him so much, and this video made me want to hug him and break no contact, and to soothe his trauma, and tell him that I’ll be here, and that I’ll never leave. 💔
I don’t understand why are they so broken and vulnerable, and yet so despicable.. I miss him. I miss him so so much.
No one ever can soothe their trauma, you have been manipulated and feeling their shame which was projected onto you. I’m so sorry! I’m 3 months no contact, he had supply during our 6years, which they always have, even when my mom passed away. Your feeling their guilt & shame. You can’t soothe it. It’s the only personal distorted which can’t be healed. It’s based on shame, also the only disorder which is like that. Don’t do it, i did it 3years before & forgave him, only to live the same again 3 years later while preparing our wedding. Don’t, please😔
He had another girl or two before he even left you. He doesn’t love you. They don’t love. He basically used you. Eventually you will realise this. Then it will be over for you . Goodluck
Go to therapy... truma band , toxic relation... cut the rob. They make memories with drinks ,places, music , light ,words, perfums... be smart .don't use them at all.Cut all of them. It was a trap . Do you love a trap ??
Nothing to do with his 'trauma'... you just weren't good looking enough for him obviously.... you're also obviously very needy... which good looking women are not lol. Sadly you will never forget him no matter how many chapters you close.
@@DeepInside9 That is very cruel indeed. You are "obviously" a wicked individual at a time when someone is in deep need. All survivors fully understand the initial stages post-discard and how traumatic and earth- shattering that is. You don't. So that speaks volumes. Probably negative fuel pumps you up. I would suggest you get help for your condition before posting such distasteful rubbish on sites like this. Ciao.
So sad........ Truly...... Understand, ...... Finally......
Its true,they can’t feel.
It's really sad the damage these people do in their wake, usually to good people too.
I saw this video. As I was trying to understand a person. She has been very honest with me.! Now I understand. Thank you!!
The narcissist was very honest with you? Someone your still in contact with or no?
Thankyou so much, it makes so much sense in my situation. 16 years. I know and wanr so much to help her, and cried in understanding it would be unwise of me to ever get back with her, but have peace knowing now of her protection mode of her early trama
Wow! Yes he kept saying he couldnt be my friend, just could not
Thankyou Anouchka...bone close, so true, a type of closer for my mind.❤
My ex narc told me that { he created this life for his self and he didn't know how to stop doing what he doing and I should move on he looked so sad telling me this .
It’s a sob story to get you to feel sorry for them! Stop. Don’t. Move on. Trust me I’ve been there done that. The minute they regain the power or get your back however you want to put it they’ll go back to blaming you.
What happens if they do get caught in a vulnerable position?? A narc injury? Do they just want to hate/blame and attack that person they think caused? can they forgive????
Depending on the injury...Injuries can happen often, most likely you are talking about mortification. In this case (at least covert narcs) are pulling away from social events, they rarely go out clubbing, etc. This can happen especially if you fought back with proof about how big liars they are and you expose them to their new supply.
If they really betrayed you badly (chances are they did) they will suspect you and call you even if you are in no contact. In this case, you should deny everything and gaslight them instead to give them a taste of their own medicine. They already trained you on how to do that 😂
It's the shame that causes the mortification, and because they lack emotional regulation they can not handle it like a healthy person would.
In rare cases, narcissistic mortification might cause them to self-reflect and realize that something is off with them, and decide to visit a therapist. Most of them do not follow that route though. Only if they hit the absolute bottom of the barrel "might" try to seek help.
Honestly. They’ll just find way to flip it on you. They’ll get caught. And most of the time that’s when they give you the silent treatment. They don’t know what to say or do.
@@nikoseen From his point of view, I think, he was mortified by a small thing I did, that he interpreted badly as against him, but it really wasn't or I couldn't know he was so fragile, he did me a discard. Then, I think he was trying to trick me to reveal what or why I did what I did, and desperately needs me to be the villain. If I reveal what he also did, then it's like Aha! got you!! so I won't fall into his trap, at least without proper two way communication about it. Instead, just rev hoover cryptic where he crafts one sided as only him as judge and jury. Called him a King in my response cryptic mess, think I got another discard, he can't handle it, doesn't know what to say, sad.
I have so much love, such deep empathy, understanding, and was willing to love her through it all. This video has me in tears, I know there is no loving her face to face and the damage she’s caused with her acting out, gaslighting and self trashing is just too much at this point. Now I have to love me through it all, reaching deep for that empathy and compassion for myself within myself. 😢
I loved a narcissist for 6 years I blame myself for how they treated me. Because I allowed it, narcissist or not I don’t allow disrespect but unfortunately I did this with my narc I no longer love them but I learn there tricks there games there con.
Right now we still talk but no longer a supply no longer controlled emotionally I feel sorry for her I’ll see what happens I always telling her the truth about how she is before I was scared of losing her now I’m not scared
That's so strange, i was scared of loosing them too. So i let my boundaries get trampled on because i wanted the euphoric love bombing to continue. I wanted their approval. That's how it all goes wrong. I see it now, i never saw it at the time because i was under a spell.
@@Miester7 i’m fully aware now that I can’t fix or change her.
I fully understand her insecurities her vulnerabilities I understand why she caused me so much pain.
I made it abundantly clear I’ve been on to her for months even a year. I made it clear I know who she is I told her about her cons and tricks, she now know I know and we talk just talk nothing else I keep getting road bumps but I continue to be truthful about her behaviour and her trauma which may have caused it
@richardmartin566 4 months later... how is this going?
I've been wrapped up with a covert narc for a few months. I had my gut screaming increasingly as time went on. It took me a few weeks to settle on her likely being a vulnerable Narcissist. And a few more weeks before my heart finally accepted the fact. It was soul crushing because of how much I cared & invested in her.
Like you know that I know the game I'm no longer scared of losing her like before.
But the empath in me still wants to help her. Not the false image she has portrayed but to at least attempt to get her to be real. I want her to know the jig is up, & that I have no desire to expose her. I simply want to try helping her. I guess to be there like a therapist where she could feel at least somewhat safe to open up & maybe shine a light on why she feels the need to behave in such a way.
I know this is likely a fools errand, but it's something I'd like to at least attempt before wiping my hands & walking away. I know it will always gnaw at me if I don't at least try. The problem is I have no idea how to approach it. Like how do you convince them it's safe to let their guard down & trust someone only wants what's best for them?
@@Miester7 me too it bothers me so much because I knew better, I saw things a mile away I just ignored it.
Now because she knows I know she’s a rattlesnake my heart is protected it may seem stupid but I may leave my door open for nothing more than a conversation, I know you must go no contact but from a distance yes I know stupid.
She’s moved on with new supplies apparently
@@danp1471 exactly the same I want to help her but I accepted I can’t, but from a distance I understand I can still think of her still wish her well while working on me, improving my life and help me not get back into this situation again.
Oh yes! Especially mine that was a veteran, iwned a business helping ptsd patients that worked in Firensics, knew exactly how to do these things!
And I accept her I tell her
my one did say sorry a few times but not for doing it but for hurting me
Thank you so much for this video Anoushka, if only..........
If they are so afraid of abandonment and don't want you to leave then why do they discard?
Because as their infidel, you have become uncontrollable OR they have found a newer infidel to serve them. SMH
This is really so sad. I knew one for quite a while and by the end believe I was seeing the true self - boring/bored and irritable - but remained in love and entranced by them and the masks they went through before getting to that point. They were unemphatic (except cognitively!) and abusive but did a heckufa job attempting the other, more benign personalities. Early in the relationship they said they had enough belief in it for both of us and now that I've let the toxins out all i can feel is compassion. They were talented as hell, colorful and after watching Jacob Skidmore saying that if you could tell them that you know they have secrets and secret sides but love them all that they would melt, and all i want to do now is tell them that. Even after the half-ass smears. I don't care, i did things wrong as well. But i can live with what I've done, don't care much about overly judgemental shame and really truly feel for them and the exhausting but incredible fantasy they projected. Amor omnia vincit - almost.
I am truly hurt when I found out my ex cheated on me with his ex girlfriends.. not just one. He apologized but I couldnt forgive him and left him in the end. As soon as I left him, he contacted me with emails and calls ..at the same time he found new supplies .. he is saying that I left him so he met someone else. It is so hard to comprehend... how come he proposed me 2 months ago then move on so quick as soon as I left him?
You will be fine. You have a good sense of who you are. They have no idea who they are so they just keep busy, attaching to people so they don't have to feel.
They are empty shells. You have nothing/no one to envy because the power and bright light is inside of you! I will pray for you! 🩶🪻🪻🪻✨️✨️
It really dont matter move on and forget about him hes not worth it..
@@SweepDailyWin yes I agree. It is the way he keeps himself busy. I will focus on myself and forget about him. But I just feel like I was just being used..
They can move on because that's what they do...try to fill the void inside of themselves instead of realizing they should work on becoming a real human being. I'm going through that right now. Girlfriend of 2.5 years (ironically, accused me of emotionally cheating with my ex-girlfriends when I was doing no such thing) discarded me and moved on immediately a month ago.
@@tulipk-h3d I understand! I suffered abuse from 2 narc family members for decades.
It's not a nice feeling to have been used. What helps me is knowing I'm free now and I am taking time to heal...and then start to rebuild a beautiful life for myself. They're evil, dark and manipulating..they will always live in lies, misery and darkness.
You have a very clear mind, I can tell. You are okay and will heal each day 🌻
Brilliant thanks
Thanks ma'am good predictions 🎉🌹❤🙏
WOW this information is mind blowing...thx so much for the explanation...It's sad...but they go through bcuz of their own fault...smh
Deep thank you for the video ❤️
Thank you so much for that very compassionate insight.
Good insight
Right after he hit me for the 1st time out of the blue .. he cried & said he just wants a normal relationship. That was the 1st time id ever been hit by a partner btw .. so I tried to reasure him that I would never give him reason to doubt or not trust me
I want one of those...I want a woman like Anoushka ❤😍❤
Mine did not want anyone to know he had a brain tumor and was terminslly ill!
What happens when she actually told me this? She knows and said she can't help being so bad.
thank you !!!
Thank you very much ❤❤
thank you for the painful but enlightening video.
Compartmentalizing...that was the same advice I gave Charles Huskinson ( CEO of Cardano) when I had the chance to talk to him on his channel when he ask the crypto community ( In part of xrp army💪😎) and he humbly heard me and thank me because he was trying to fix his issues with security breach inside his company and I have background with security clearance and how thing get done in the military is that same way so I completely understand that concept that could be applied to psychology and other areas. The paths we take in life gives us the tools to deal with understanding other situations in life...great content Im your best fan!!!
Thank you for helping this channel makes me self heal
This is very sad 😔
This video has helped alot...thx so much
Before watching I was dumbfounded baffled and confused, I actually saw them exhibit a behavior 3x they tried to tell me different
A man named Narcissus, Encountered a demon that told him the first person he saw would make a bond to his soul and he would fall in love 😍 with..... unfortunately he walked to a lake closeby, looked into the water 💦 and saw his reflection reflecting on the surface, . He immediately fell in love, with it, Jumped into the lake, only to down 👇 and with a heavy ❤ heart, the demon saw this, resurrected the essense of NARCISSIST and now it walks the earthly realm praying on empathetic, with all the hate and pain of the true narcissist, entities have no gender, and come only as temptation to plague ♀️♂️⚧️man. 😮
Absolutely brilliant.
I didn't leave. She dumped me. I still feel for her and wish I could be there for her. She said that she felt happy around me. 😢😢
Lesbian relationships statistically have the worst longevity... I wonder why lol.
my ex wife favourite song is Iris from the Goo Goo Dolls. 2 weeks ago the song was playing at work and i paid attention to the lyrics...I think in a way she was telling me how she feels inside through the song. one day i'll ask her.
My narc told me he had no feelings
Mine had to get his pd connections to follow me for 1 year in order to feel in control!!!!!!!
She cheated on me, lied to me, and discarded me like trash..i shouldn't pity this person because of her disorder..she knew she was hurting me yet she didn't understand why..
Sam Vaknin if Narcissist was honest+ HG Tudor- love bomb if narc was honest - is classic explanation who they are.
Very good insight…
Really appreciated this one. Original and new. Thanks!
Ja Anoushka de tænker kun på dem selv og kun dem selv bare de kan få deres svar fra andre så er de bund og grund lige glad med andre. Kan du ha en vidunderlig dag i det dejlige sommer vejr 😉🌞🌞🌞
He would say I know you love me .. id be thinking I don t want to love you anymore
Yes, they told me they wish they could love...and be happy. So much self protection for these b***stards. While kind people make all sacrifices for them. Both wrong.
You are in Thessaloniki in the video's intro! My city! 😃
Yes I am … hello nice to meet you. I will be in thessaloniki next month
@@anoushkamarcin Oh nice!
@@anoushkamarcin You really love to travel Anoushka ;) IYKYK.
Wound him.
My narc husband is using the scriptures against me 😥. 4hrs of back and forth battle and now using God to justify he can't go against God's will 😢.
He keeps adding, we as the breakdown of our marriage and not him,😥. I asked that actual question, what is your feeling about me. I love you and thats it.. 😢😢😢😢. I'm stuck he's now saying I'm deceived by the Devil. I'm listening to my flesh, blah blah
I'm going have to go no contact again 😭
Mine did this too!
What if he didn't tell me about things you talked about. What does that mean
Just the video title is hilarious.
When i finally was getting through to my girlfriend one night she turns and talked to all three and said he not listening and i turned my head and said let her think for herself for one minute 😂😂😂 TRUE STORY
Empaths can’t beat a narcissist but a sociopath certainly can
yes some empath can imo
i nailed mine an she didnt see it coming. I'm an empath. they r easy to destroy cos they have an over rated sense of self, lower them into a false sense of security and have patience
i hope to joning the live feed but time zones may make it difficult. ive been looking back through my life and the relationships ive had and see a similar pattern. id love to know how to learn how to form honest loving relationships rather than continually finding a narcissist. surly this must mean i am a fault somewhere and enable these people to do what they do. Im also worried that my teenage children will be subjected to this as i no longer live with them.
How do we break the trauma bond ..
It’s really sad because a narcissist have a mental disorder and they wouldn’t really know this or even realize that they need clinical help.
Unfortunately It’s a cycle that continues.
Some know exactly everything like mine. He worked in Forensics and had PTSD patients in his own business. He acted this way with me but put a fake self for everyone else!
Abot that I m so honest whit her
Ooooooopss, I loved narcissist for 14 solid years , but the betrayal and denial that she caused me it's very bad that I can't imagine , but thanks for such videos that is making me strong and forget her ASAP , she damaged the future of my kids (3), now she is just moving up and down with different in order to get supplies, but surely narcissist is still going down and down as the community know her movies. Thanks Jesus for saving my life. She wanted me dead.
What would the narcissist say:
1. They don’t feel due to traumatic background, so they disconnect, it’s too painful
2. I don’t fell
3. They have to trick you into falling in love with you
4. This triggers the abandonment and rejection wound
5. Have to trick you into staying with them
6. They have to gaslight and mirror you, and love bomb you
7. They admire you… patience
8. They study you to orchestrate a certain outcome
9. They fell safe when they are in control…. They don’t have an identity
10. Don’t want to make themselves vulnerable
11. They have to lie to you, if you knew the truth you would leave
12. They have to do this because they don’t want you to leave
13. They are tired of playing these games
14. They want things easy.
They don’t want you to know the deep secrets they hold. It is full of darkness and pain.
15. They try to keep it hidden and we leave and disconnect
17. They would love to know how to love you, but they will not show any vulnerability
Is having sex with multiple partners being vulnerable?
Hello you there, the truth, is not helping
🙏👌👌👍🙏
Apologies!!! Sorry!!!! what's that? they don't know. It's just words to them. Actions and words don't sync.
Narrator gas it wrong most narcisisstic i met being my family and exes had great childhood, they were often golden children!!! Pampered like in cotton.. so STOP EXUSING IT ON DAMAGED CHILDHOOD?!!!
Very true. Finally someone noticed. NOT ALL narcs I know suffered abuse as a child.
Golden child@@anniebo8535
Your content is not only very familiar…but I also see that you have been stealing from other reputable therapists and psychology sites without consent.
The copypasting on this RUclips is on another level...I've noticed you guys copy each other, for instance, this video was done by a diagnosed narc a few days ago, here you are.. can we be original, but again, factual? Huuuuh????
Oh really? I was literally thinking this was nice new original content from Anoushka! Which RUclipsr did this topic too? I wanna check them out.
Women just love narcs lmao 90% of the comments are women in tears for the narcs they fell for lol.
They knew the signs and still
Narcs that abuse..... Manipulate so how can you blame them?????
Defending ourselves is not falling for them. Them hating that is what causes the problems mostly!
❤❤❤big thanks