The Thinking Atheist is one of the best youtube channels available. Great podcast, I enjoyed it and a great sense of humor also mixed with a serious subject. I like it.
I was born and raised in a very pentecostal family and I dragged my boyfriend to church when we started dating (poor guy must have loved me). We got married and moved away. Then, after a couple of years, we just stopped going to church. Now I'm an atheist and he is more or less an agnostic. We've been together 11 years. We are fortunate that we were able to lose religion together - it's because we talk about everything and he is rational and open-minded like I try to be.
I know it's possible for atheists and believers to make a relationship work because my own parents are still together. My dad is an atheist and my mom is a christian and that's pretty much how it's been my entire life.
I'm going a year into a relationship with a believer and we have argued about it before, but lately agreed to not touch on the subject. We were best friends before dating, known each other for about 3 years, but to be with someone for a lifetime, I don't know. We'll see. Love, tolerance and acceptance is the answer I believe.
This is the first time that I listen to podcasts like this (more than 2 minutes long) and loved all of it, kinda keeps me focused on what other thing I'm doing while listening to this.
my wife is religious, but she does respect my agnosticism. i also respect her cosmological idea though i find it funny but it sure does make her a better person.
I'm far from an expert, but I believe that yes it can work out. Like all relationships, it's a compromise and a work in progress. The divide between say an extreme atheist and an extreme believer is HUGE, but I still think it CAN be overcome. The next question is 'is it worth all that effort?' Depends on the size of the divide, how willing both are to compromise and work together, and how much attraction is there. Amongst other variables. (Kids, family, etc)
Married for 17 years with a fervent catholic, and since I became an atheist, I lose my admiration for him, although I really really really tried not to, I can't avoid seeing him as an stupid person.
It depends. I was in a relationship with a believer (because I used to be a believer too) but when I realized the truth about the religion and stopped believing it was also the end of our relationship. It just made our thinking so different that we just did not understand each other at all anymore. Now I am happily married to an atheist and could not be happier
My wife believes in God and angels and such but is not a devout follower of any particular religion, though she has sentimental ties to the Salvation Army for family reasons. When we got together, I was still a Christian and I tried to drag her to church with me but she preferred to sleep in on Sundays (smart lady). Today, she would prefer that I was not an atheist but she's come to accept that that's part of who I am. We've been together almost 15 years, still going strong.
I was a guest on this episode and my segment starts at 58:51 spoiler alert, my marriage did not survive when I stopped attending church and she taught the kids that I was going to the worst hell because I left the church because I became a son of perdition. I need to send Seth an email at some point and let him know how things turned out and what I'm doing now.
The answer to this question is "Yes". I'm an Atheist. A very vocal one. My girlfriend is a Baptist Christian. Occasionally we have a debate over whether God exists and whatnot. But it doesn't interfere in our day to day relationship. She respects my views and I realise that her faith is an important part of her life.
My boyfriend is Greek Orthodox, I'm an atheist and a Catholic apostate and I have trouble trying to respect his religious beliefs, but I love him, so I try
My mother is Catholic and my dad is an atheist. Neither are particularly "devout" in their beliefs (although my mother does attend church every Sunday, helps out at a Catholic charity, etc)- but really, they have a live and let live outlook. Their relationship is perfectly fine, my mother has never tried to force her beliefs on either of us. So not surprisingly I'm a bit annoyed by people in the comments who say "I'd NEVER marry a religious person, they are mindless idiots, etc"...but whatever.
I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster but my (ex) partner is a fucking idiot and worships Thor. We couldn't make it work. We are now divorced/have restraining orders. The kids are bloody atheists.
My wife is a Catholic, but she doesn't believe in Hell or Noah's ark or any of that. When we met, she knew I was an atheist. For a while there I tried to see things her way, but after some years, I cracked. I got serious about atheism again. It was a pretty big deal when I told her I just don't buy any of it, because I had given her the impression that I believed. Our son was a baby, and she told me that if she had known, she wouldn't have had him, and that hurt. It's a work in progress.
I was born Jewish, my wife was born a Muslim. We both converted to Chrisitianity before our wedding. I became an atheist over time and she drifted to Buddhism. Fortunately, Buddhism is non-theistic so we get on just fine on religious topics.
It's deffinitely possible to make relationships work where two people have two different beliefs. I think it may take abit more work than most relationships, depending on the situation and the maturity of the two people. If they understand they both have different world views but can put that behind them, then it'll work. But if it gets in the way and ones always trying to convince the other and bugging them, the relationship could get strained and has a high chance of failing.
Man is this topic relevant to me. Especially when many of us grow up in religious towns, where very few, kind, geeky girls don't believe STRONGLY in god actually exist. But i always find it's the religious partner who always wants more from the relationship, when i'm perfectly satisfied with just existing with her. The first one hated how vocal i was against her god. The other always wanted me to go to church with her, but i can't stand mind-pollution, i've heard it all. One told me i had to.
Well, my wife is a believer... sort of. She rarely goes to church. Her dad is probably an atheist; he just doesn't talk about it much...or anything else for that matter. It's been going well for 6 months now (just the marriage, not the relationship). I think it's going to work out, but I doubt I'd have been able to marry someone who attends church regularly.
Got married to a closet believer. She said she wasn't christian but pagan. Eventually she decided it was superstitious. So she tried Islam.. till she found out she couldn't have pork. She became a Buddhist.. till she realized it was a philosophy and that was more work then she wanted to put into it. Then she became Hindi till she found out she couldn't have beef. Then she went back to Christianity and a week later said she wanted a divorce because I am an Atheist...
OH MAN! I wish I wold have caught this show live. My girlfriend and I got together when I was a Christian and she was an Atheist. After finding out I freaked out and almost broke up with her. Since then I got out of the Marines, started going to school and am now and Atheist myself. We have been together for almost 4 years, and it is embarrassing to even admit that I almost left her because I thought she was "unsaved" by a phantasm in my head.
The answer is: Yes, as long as both parties are equally mature love is always possible. Like every relationship you have to be mature, respectful, and (if your a man) always wrong
My father's a Christain and my mother's an atheist, and they've been together for 25yrs. So yes, an atheist and a believer can have a successful love relationship.
How is preferring one type of person over another type of person in any way narrow minded? It's just personal preference and one's belief system is a pretty big part of one's personality. I would like to be allowed to choose my love interests by personality. It's not as much frowned upon as choosing by looks. On the other hand you are right if you say that you can never be absolutely certain you won't fall in love with a person with different beliefs. You never know until it happens.
I find myself in a similar situation. I have this girl that I've loved for quite some time but i lost touch with her for several years. When I finally got back in touch with her to my dismay I found out she had turned into a fundie. Then again maybe it's true what they say opposites attract. What can I do? I still love the girl shes still the same person just with a different belief structure.
My former in-laws had been married 51 years when I left in 2013. She was a bible thumpin' Sunday service every week type while he was an atheist who never stepped foot inside a church other than the weddings of his daughters and granddaughters. I THINK my father leans more toward being an atheist while my mother, although hasn't attended a Sunday service since the day they married in 1969 (a little more than fifty years before this comment), she is a believer.
I joined the TTA/Seth Andrews fan club less than three months ago, so he had already been married to the woman he spoke about for about five years-ish. It was interesting to hear his description of her and I am glad I know more about Natalie (spelling) now. In this podcast, he said she is a beautiful woman (physically) and yes, she is. However, it's nice to hear all the ways she is more than that as well.
I agree with those who say that it depends on the religiosity of the individuals and the amount of understanding and empathy between the two (of course, that second one is important regardless of the religious questions in the relationship).
Hello TheThinkingAtheist, I was wondering. When is the next podcast, and what number should I call in order to talk to you. I have a lot of great topics for the "Weird Beliefs Podcast"!
I am an atheist and my girlfriend is a Muslim and we both go to high school together. What makes it difficult for us though is that we live right in the middle of the bible belt. I feel so sorry for her because she is devout and the fact that she has to go to the restroom to do her mid day-prayer.
Couples of all different types can work out. Does a marriage fail because one member believes in ghosts and the other doesn't? What about a different opinion on food? Just work around it. As for kids, just compromise when it comes to your belief. In fact, "indoctrinating them" can actually make them into a more informed Atheist.
Well of course they can. Because neither atheism nor theism (regardless of specific religion) necessarily comes with opposing the alternative. It's *anti-theists* and religious *extremists* that shouldn't bother. But then, these people have bigger problems than hooking up to begin with ;) BTW, I'm an atheist and my wife of five years is a Christian.
Vic 2.0 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?
As last caller, I tried to address the issue from a "the last two people alive" position. (big mistake!) Biology trumps any "superficial" mental constructs. We like people because we like them. I shouldn't even have to mention that many times "opposites attract". There is also a deeper meaning to "f*ck your brains out". While I wouldn't recommend seeking out someone with different life views, life has shown many times over why that is sometimes appealing and also beneficial for diversity. :)
very complicated and tied to ones identity . I was able to sever from that side of myself, as I was very devout Catholic at one point. However, many people will never be able to reach that level of truth at any point in their life. I accept this fully. That being said, it is something I wish my boyfriend would come to see because I share my life with him and may have children with him one day. Even then I would leave the choice of choosing religion or disbelief to my children, as I do with him.
@ThumbprintTheatrics Please don't take this as a criticism, only a suggestion, but whenever the topic of religion comes up rather than saying I "don't believe in God" I always tell people what I do believe in. Instead of making a negative statement of belief I turn it into a positive statement of belief. Something like "I believe that people need to help each other and look after one another" is a powerful statement of belief that demonstrates you can be a good person without believing in God.
@sirachman Wow, you explain it very well! "The believer must not care for the 'soul' of their lover, and the atheist must not care for the sanity of theirs." So yeah. I believe it could very well be possible. But -I- couldn't do it. I just couldn't be with someone who believes in god(s).. It's such a huge part of... life. The way you view the world. It's not a simple thing to brush away.
The biggest criticism of the cosmological argument is that it is a philosophical argument based on common sense. the singularity, black holes and quantum fields are not something that can be reasoned with common sense. You need solid observations and hardcore maths. You cannot take and everyday observation like "everything that begins to exist has a cause" and extrapolate to the beginning of the universe.
There is a vast difference between saying "I don't know" and claiming "I know" without a single shred of evidence. One is an open minded person, willing to learn, the other is completely guessing and closing their mind to all other possibilities. No, the two are not even remotely similar. But enjoy being so broad minded you gladly hook up with that ghost hunting, big foot tracking, loch Ness monster, alien abductor with unicorn riding tendencies. You'll make a great couple.
It can work only if neither tries to "convert" the other, or debate this issue...ever! Not many people have complete acceptance of others....usually referred to as tolerance. If one can only "tolerate" someone, is that love, I don't think so. Therefore, I would say no.
@x5vampire5x my relationship is the exact opposite, she is a Christian (of some denomination) and when she found out I was atheist she said right to me that before me she thought all atheists were evil, horrible people and she would have never seen herself with one. Almost one year later we don't bring it up, she still believes in something though.
@TETSUno1 Your situation is enviable. One reason (I think) for all the atheists on RUclips is to try to make things be more like Finland across the rest of the world. After 9/11 people started to see the danger in not speaking up. Books like "The God Delusion" started to be published and atheist RUclips channels sprouted like mushrooms. It is scary to have religious countries with nukes. We can make a difference but we can't remain silent.
@agent0sephiroth My parents believe i will be tortured for an eternity, so how exactly can i love them? The answer is i'm mature enough to respect our differences and know that they only worry because they care for me. If you can't apply this same thought process to a relationship then one of the two isn't mature enough to last in that relationship. Hence maturity and respect
I am atheist my husband is a believer. Every now and then we have strong discussions that border on arguments about it, but they ate rare and we agree to disagree and it doesn't permeate our marriage and child rearing.
Kinda off the topic, but I seriously think there is something addicting in the raw fish or how it reacts with wasabi. I had serious reservations about sushi for the longest time and when I tried it for the first time, I didn't think much of it. Ok, but not great. Year passes, I get a need to have sushi RIGHT NOW. And I've been eating it since, every chance I get. Made my own when the local store gets fresh salmon.
My best friend for 7 years was an atheist, and are religious beliefs didn't influence that. I mean the break-up of our friendship didnt have anything to do with religion in the very least! i mean it really makes me feel a growing sense of anger whenever i see these Pro-atheist channels, but i am not going to fight them or try to change them, and that's what i expect atheist to do. They should respect our beliefs and stop trying to prove it wrong, because honestly either side can prove anything.
I loved the ending.. age makes wonders, you a great/fluid/articulate/true guy. I hope learning allows me to have your piece of mind. I'm 22, i still have a looong way to go. Please respond, just to know if you read this
I'm sure I could make it with someone who believed in a personal God, i.e. a person who equates nature with god, that an unexplained force created the universe billions of years ago, or that god is an unexplained element...someone's own original interpretation of how the universe came about thats coherent with reality. I know plenty of people like this. But I don't think I could ever make it work with someone who was devoted to one of the monotheistic organized religions
I haven't listened yet, but I will start off with this comment: I'm an athies, my wife is Catholic, and we're fine. It does help that she has her own beliefs though, she doesn't really agree with a lot of the actions of the priests, and she does believe in evolution. I am teaching her more about science though (she was one of the "just a theory" people until last week, just because she didn't know). It can work, but a young earth creationist might be a bit harder than a more liberal one.
It really depends on the definition of 'believer'. If someone is hardcore about fundamental religion, chances are they're not very intelligent, so that might not be a person you want a long-term relationship with anyway. If they don't take it seriously and just want to believe in spirituality for the sake of comfort, I don't see how that would effect a relationship. To me the strife could only come from one party believing the other is damned to hell forever because of who they are.
I could be in a relationship with someone who believes in the concept of a god, but I couldn't deal with someone who actively participates in an organized religion.
@ghostofdayinperson I don't think that's necessarily true. I think that might depend on what a believer thinks heaven and hell are and what happens when you get there. My father for instance doesn't think he will have any recollection of his present life or loved ones or know whether or not they're in heaven or hell. But I always get into fights with my mother because she constantly tries convert me back to Christianity because she thinks we'll all see each other when we're dead.
@TheMidwestAtheist It is amazing how many people are "so close" to being atheist since while they appear to "know better" they still have to deal with the fact that they were probably raised (i.e. - "programmed") from a very early age to believe in the basic tenants of religion (e.g. - the concept of "god", "satan" or "evil one", heaven, hell, etc.) I am still suffering from that condition as well since, try as I might, I still catch myself sometimes thinking in terms of a supreme entity...
That 2nd caller is going to be me someday. am I ready to go through that kind of stress and watching my children leave the church and having to be the only christian influence in the home? My boyfriend and I had been dating 6 mos when he told me he had decided that God no longer existed. Ever since then its been a crazy roller coaster of family telling me that being with him is a mistake and it will ruin my life and me thinking I can make it work. This is actualy the first place iv found advice.
@lordnimr0d So... While it is better to find someone that is similar to you mentally, our bodies, through evolutionary biology, still tell us to find someone different? That would explain the "bad boy/girl" syndrome. I guess my point was that there are certain biological cues (visual, auditory, olfactory, etc.) that override our better judgment. And since consciousness is a relatively recent cerebral development we still have to give credit to the thousands of years of evolutionary development.
I'm not exactly a believer in god, but my girlfriend is, our relationship is working pretty good right about now.i don't stop her going to church, things like that, i just find it good she believes in something and such.
I see there is no responders who seem to be coming from a Christian perspective. As' I have been an Atheist. Now I am a Christian. So I will give the Christian perspective; being that is what I am. Biblically it balances out where it is alright for union of people with different views, such as religious. 1Corinthians 7: 12-15, talks about believer and unbeliever marriage from a Christian standpoint. My ex-girlfriend (almost wife) was an Atheist. Religion is not what split her and I apart.
I love it when you talk about your girlfriend :) I feel like you shared a little bit of yourself and connected with your viewers by telling your own point of view and experience. And commenting on the original topic: No, I would never date a theist. My boyfriend was the one who made me admit that there is no god, even though I was a sceptic before. We're now 18, been dating him for 3 years and we joke about religion and are so much alike :) He's perfect. BUT if he was a theist it would be hard.
@chiprommel It can work out but it depends upon how religious the person is. Your Ex-Girlfriend was obviously a fundamentalist and a relationship between a fundamental Christian and an Atheist is nearly impossible. She believes you will go to hell. You believe she's crazy. It just wouldn't work out. However a Christian that is non-judgmental can get along with you.
I think it depends on the degree of their religiosity: if they're spiritual I wouldn't expect much in her wanting me to change .. the more religious they are the more we'd clash e.g. I'm not baptizing my children or sending them off to christian -or any religious- school.
Me being an atheist, it feels like I could never be enough for my Christian boyfriend. He says that I'm his world, his everything, his heart, etc. But deep down I really think that all of these things aren't true. I have voiced these concerns to him, but he deemed it "being jealous of God.". I told him yes, because God seems to have all of you. I love this man very much, yet, I don't think he is being entirely truthful about how he feels.
I come from a community where religion is (or was) unheard of, and thus it is the sort of inverse of the "Bible belt" situation. While I am not married to a theist myself, I do know some people who are, and while some have worked out, having the religion issue be overridden by the relationship, the majority fail. In one case violently.
sweet! im 16 and ive always wondered how being an avid atheist might affect my love life/marriage in the future, and how much of a factor religious beliefs should play when selecting a mate. ahahaha cant wait to listen!
As a goof, I tried googling weather there is a dating service specific for Atheists (converse to sites like chritianmingle and stuff like that). I found one that proudly lists the number of men and women members on the site. As a guy, it's pretty bleak. There are currently about 14,000 males on the site. As for females, only about 4500!! Thats nearly a three-to-one ratio!! I do feel that it is important for my partner to have similar beliefs. However, if she is not an atheist or agnostic, I won't be totally against the relationship. I do have an issue though if she is one of those extreme believers, like my brother's wife. His wife believes that GOD comes above everything else, above even her husband and children. I'm sorry, but that kind of thought just does not sit well with me. If I am secondary to an imaginary sky daddy, then I do not see a future with you at all.
@TheThinkingAtheist, I know your a busy person, but I was wondering... Is that a picture of you & your lady on the podcast picture? Hope happiness fills your days. :)
im glad you adressed this because this has effected my life more than once. My mother told me that i was incapable of love because i wasnt a christian, and my jewish ex-girlfriend told me that she couldnt love me because i didnt love god.
well sometimes it works, the person who I see myself being with the rest of my life is a christian Pentecostal and I'm an open free thinker she on the other had isn't really into her religion in fact she somewhat hates it the only problem is her family since she still lives with her family it's harder to be myself around them then it also doesn't help that we live far away from each other it's harder for couples in their teens to get through that because of parents she's the only one that's sane
If my girl suddenly told me she was religious, I'd have to leave her! Because I'd never be able to see her as an intellectual, logical, or sane person ever again!
@ThumbprintTheatrics The podcasts are biweekly at 1pm EST on Sunday at blogtalkradio. They usually announce the next show on their Facebook page and in the "Link to TTA podcast" thread at the Thinking Atheist forum. I would post the links but it seems to throw up an error for some reason when I try to post them here. Does anyone know if that is a setting that they have selected in order to discourage spam?
The Kalam cosmological argument is a just fail because of the first premise everything that exists has a cause right? So that would mean that god had a cause but what caused that god and you can keep going on ad infinitum. the second premise is the universe began to exist there is no evidence of this there is only evidence of existence. And again when you take the 3rd premise is the universe has a cause for it's existence. You have asserted that there was a cause, but how is the cause god?
A friend of mine dated a girl once. They had a really good connection and it seemed like a perfect match. A week later he was invited to stay the night with her for the first time. He, and me included, exptected that finally he was getting some poontang. Later that night he called me and asked me to pick him up. Why, i asked. He told me that when they got to bed, she drew up a bible and started quoting her favourite verses. Instant limpdick and end of relationship. :)
I'm an athiest married to a casual catholic. Its been pretty good so far. Admittedly I'm only three days in ! Wish us luck!
+worldlystone How it so far
Good luck! It shouldn't be too hard. I think love and marriage goes far beyond religious beliefs
I'm really curious. How's it going?
The Thinking Atheist is one of the best youtube channels available. Great podcast, I enjoyed it and a great sense of humor also mixed with a serious subject. I like it.
You do have the best show so far amongst the atheist shows I have come across.This particular podcast really hit home.
I've been a subscriber/fan for a while, but always ignored the hour-long videos... until now. I was delightfully surprised; this was AWESOME!!
There are many criticisms of the cosmological argument, you just need to look them up. I have, and I think they are fairly reasonable disputations.
I was born and raised in a very pentecostal family and I dragged my boyfriend to church when we started dating (poor guy must have loved me). We got married and moved away. Then, after a couple of years, we just stopped going to church. Now I'm an atheist and he is more or less an agnostic. We've been together 11 years. We are fortunate that we were able to lose religion together - it's because we talk about everything and he is rational and open-minded like I try to be.
My dad´s an atheist, and my mom is a theist, they have been together for over 25 years... So yeah proved my point!
I know it's possible for atheists and believers to make a relationship work because my own parents are still together. My dad is an atheist and my mom is a christian and that's pretty much how it's been my entire life.
That was the most beautiful ending, sir, and a fantastic show. Thank you for that.
This subject hits home for me more than any of the other subjects so far, thank you sooooo much for this.
I'm going a year into a relationship with a believer and we have argued about it before, but lately agreed to not touch on the subject. We were best friends before dating, known each other for about 3 years, but to be with someone for a lifetime, I don't know. We'll see. Love, tolerance and acceptance is the answer I believe.
This is the first time that I listen to podcasts like this (more than 2 minutes long) and loved all of it, kinda keeps me focused on what other thing I'm doing while listening to this.
my wife is religious, but she does respect my agnosticism. i also respect her cosmological idea though i find it funny but it sure does make her a better person.
I'm far from an expert, but I believe that yes it can work out. Like all relationships, it's a compromise and a work in progress. The divide between say an extreme atheist and an extreme believer is HUGE, but I still think it CAN be overcome. The next question is 'is it worth all that effort?' Depends on the size of the divide, how willing both are to compromise and work together, and how much attraction is there. Amongst other variables. (Kids, family, etc)
Married for 17 years with a fervent catholic, and since I became an atheist, I lose my admiration for him, although I really really really tried not to, I can't avoid seeing him as an stupid person.
Lili Alvarez Sounds like a personal problem
It depends. I was in a relationship with a believer (because I used to be a believer too) but when I realized the truth about the religion and stopped believing it was also the end of our relationship. It just made our thinking so different that we just did not understand each other at all anymore. Now I am happily married to an atheist and could not be happier
The part were he describes her girlfriend is so touching, i congratulate you for having such a fullfiling relasionship, you are a very lucky man :)
My wife believes in God and angels and such but is not a devout follower of any particular religion, though she has sentimental ties to the Salvation Army for family reasons. When we got together, I was still a Christian and I tried to drag her to church with me but she preferred to sleep in on Sundays (smart lady). Today, she would prefer that I was not an atheist but she's come to accept that that's part of who I am. We've been together almost 15 years, still going strong.
How have they failed? Please explain.
I was a guest on this episode and my segment starts at 58:51 spoiler alert, my marriage did not survive when I stopped attending church and she taught the kids that I was going to the worst hell because I left the church because I became a son of perdition. I need to send Seth an email at some point and let him know how things turned out and what I'm doing now.
Great episode this week, Seth! I always enjoy your podcasts and videos :)
I'm an atheist and my wife is a believer. It's a bone of contention but we've made it work for nearly 11 years now.
The answer to this question is "Yes". I'm an Atheist. A very vocal one. My girlfriend is a Baptist Christian. Occasionally we have a debate over whether God exists and whatnot. But it doesn't interfere in our day to day relationship. She respects my views and I realise that her faith is an important part of her life.
My boyfriend is Greek Orthodox, I'm an atheist and a Catholic apostate and I have trouble trying to respect his religious beliefs, but I love him, so I try
My mother is Catholic and my dad is an atheist. Neither are particularly "devout" in their beliefs (although my mother does attend church every Sunday, helps out at a Catholic charity, etc)- but really, they have a live and let live outlook. Their relationship is perfectly fine, my mother has never tried to force her beliefs on either of us. So not surprisingly I'm a bit annoyed by people in the comments who say "I'd NEVER marry a religious person, they are mindless idiots, etc"...but whatever.
I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster but my (ex) partner is a fucking idiot and worships Thor. We couldn't make it work. We are now divorced/have restraining orders. The kids are bloody atheists.
My wife is a Catholic, but she doesn't believe in Hell or Noah's ark or any of that. When we met, she knew I was an atheist. For a while there I tried to see things her way, but after some years, I cracked. I got serious about atheism again. It was a pretty big deal when I told her I just don't buy any of it, because I had given her the impression that I believed. Our son was a baby, and she told me that if she had known, she wouldn't have had him, and that hurt. It's a work in progress.
I was born Jewish, my wife was born a Muslim. We both converted to Chrisitianity before our wedding. I became an atheist over time and she drifted to Buddhism. Fortunately, Buddhism is non-theistic so we get on just fine on religious topics.
It's deffinitely possible to make relationships work where two people have two different beliefs. I think it may take abit more work than most relationships, depending on the situation and the maturity of the two people.
If they understand they both have different world views but can put that behind them, then it'll work. But if it gets in the way and ones always trying to convince the other and bugging them, the relationship could get strained and has a high chance of failing.
Man is this topic relevant to me. Especially when many of us grow up in religious towns, where very few, kind, geeky girls don't believe STRONGLY in god actually exist. But i always find it's the religious partner who always wants more from the relationship, when i'm perfectly satisfied with just existing with her. The first one hated how vocal i was against her god. The other always wanted me to go to church with her, but i can't stand mind-pollution, i've heard it all. One told me i had to.
Well, my wife is a believer... sort of. She rarely goes to church. Her dad is probably an atheist; he just doesn't talk about it much...or anything else for that matter. It's been going well for 6 months now (just the marriage, not the relationship). I think it's going to work out, but I doubt I'd have been able to marry someone who attends church regularly.
My girlfriend is Wiccan, and I'm an atheist. I could never date a Christian, but so far this relationship is going very well.
Got married to a closet believer. She said she wasn't christian but pagan. Eventually she decided it was superstitious. So she tried Islam.. till she found out she couldn't have pork. She became a Buddhist.. till she realized it was a philosophy and that was more work then she wanted to put into it. Then she became Hindi till she found out she couldn't have beef. Then she went back to Christianity and a week later said she wanted a divorce because I am an Atheist...
It depends on the people. If they choose to focus on the things they have in common instead of those that separate them, they could make it work.
About soulmates, check out “If I Didn’t Have You” by Tim Minchin
OH MAN! I wish I wold have caught this show live. My girlfriend and I got together when I was a Christian and she was an Atheist. After finding out I freaked out and almost broke up with her. Since then I got out of the Marines, started going to school and am now and Atheist myself. We have been together for almost 4 years, and it is embarrassing to even admit that I almost left her because I thought she was "unsaved" by a phantasm in my head.
for 77 minutes i felt like i belong !! thank you so much seth !
The answer is: Yes, as long as both parties are equally mature love is always possible. Like every relationship you have to be mature, respectful, and (if your a man) always wrong
No, it's not. The cosmological argument is invalid.
My father's a Christain and my mother's an atheist, and they've been together for 25yrs.
So yes, an atheist and a believer can have a successful love relationship.
How is preferring one type of person over another type of person in any way narrow minded? It's just personal preference and one's belief system is a pretty big part of one's personality. I would like to be allowed to choose my love interests by personality. It's not as much frowned upon as choosing by looks. On the other hand you are right if you say that you can never be absolutely certain you won't fall in love with a person with different beliefs. You never know until it happens.
I find myself in a similar situation. I have this girl that I've loved for quite some time but i lost touch with her for several years. When I finally got back in touch with her to my dismay I found out she had turned into a fundie. Then again maybe it's true what they say opposites attract. What can I do? I still love the girl shes still the same person just with a different belief structure.
@raysviola this has been very comforting to me to hear that it can work if both people are willing to work together!
My former in-laws had been married 51 years when I left in 2013. She was a bible thumpin' Sunday service every week type while he was an atheist who never stepped foot inside a church other than the weddings of his daughters and granddaughters. I THINK my father leans more toward being an atheist while my mother, although hasn't attended a Sunday service since the day they married in 1969 (a little more than fifty years before this comment), she is a believer.
caller one hour in having a wife "demanding" he attend church is a freakin' wuss! get a back bone and stand up for yourself and stay home.
I joined the TTA/Seth Andrews fan club less than three months ago, so he had already been married to the woman he spoke about for about five years-ish. It was interesting to hear his description of her and I am glad I know more about Natalie (spelling) now. In this podcast, he said she is a beautiful woman (physically) and yes, she is. However, it's nice to hear all the ways she is more than that as well.
I agree with those who say that it depends on the religiosity of the individuals and the amount of understanding and empathy between the two (of course, that second one is important regardless of the religious questions in the relationship).
Very interesting podcast. Thank you for posting.
Hello TheThinkingAtheist, I was wondering. When is the next podcast, and what number should I call in order to talk to you. I have a lot of great topics for the "Weird Beliefs Podcast"!
I am an atheist and my girlfriend is a Muslim and we both go to high school together. What makes it difficult for us though is that we live right in the middle of the bible belt. I feel so sorry for her because she is devout and the fact that she has to go to the restroom to do her mid day-prayer.
Couples of all different types can work out. Does a marriage fail because one member believes in ghosts and the other doesn't? What about a different opinion on food? Just work around it. As for kids, just compromise when it comes to your belief. In fact, "indoctrinating them" can actually make them into a more informed Atheist.
the only problem that i can think of is debating whether or not their child should be raised to believe or not
Well of course they can. Because neither atheism nor theism (regardless of specific religion) necessarily comes with opposing the alternative. It's *anti-theists* and religious *extremists* that shouldn't bother. But then, these people have bigger problems than hooking up to begin with ;)
BTW, I'm an atheist and my wife of five years is a Christian.
Vic 2.0 2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?
As last caller, I tried to address the issue from a "the last two people alive" position. (big mistake!) Biology trumps any "superficial" mental constructs. We like people because we like them. I shouldn't even have to mention that many times "opposites attract". There is also a deeper meaning to "f*ck your brains out". While I wouldn't recommend seeking out someone with different life views, life has shown many times over why that is sometimes appealing and also beneficial for diversity. :)
very complicated and tied to ones identity . I was able to sever from that side of myself, as I was very devout Catholic at one point. However, many people will never be able to reach that level of truth at any point in their life. I accept this fully. That being said, it is something I wish my boyfriend would come to see because I share my life with him and may have children with him one day. Even then I would leave the choice of choosing religion or disbelief to my children, as I do with him.
@ThumbprintTheatrics Please don't take this as a criticism, only a suggestion, but whenever the topic of religion comes up rather than saying I "don't believe in God" I always tell people what I do believe in. Instead of making a negative statement of belief I turn it into a positive statement of belief. Something like "I believe that people need to help each other and look after one another" is a powerful statement of belief that demonstrates you can be a good person without believing in God.
Did that one guy call himself a "PK"? I don't know what that refers to.
Promise Keepers
Thanks!
Tonyblack PK actually refers to a Preacher's kid
Thank you!
@sirachman
Wow, you explain it very well! "The believer must not care for the 'soul' of their lover, and the atheist must not care for the sanity of theirs."
So yeah. I believe it could very well be possible. But -I- couldn't do it. I just couldn't be with someone who believes in god(s).. It's such a huge part of... life. The way you view the world. It's not a simple thing to brush away.
@Azurerosa i am really curious how that would work... good for them though if they can transcend their differences
The biggest criticism of the cosmological argument is that it is a philosophical argument based on common sense. the singularity, black holes and quantum fields are not something that can be reasoned with common sense. You need solid observations and hardcore maths. You cannot take and everyday observation like "everything that begins to exist has a cause" and extrapolate to the beginning of the universe.
I do think it depends on how hardcore you are in your beliefs, as well.
There is a vast difference between saying "I don't know" and claiming "I know" without a single shred of evidence. One is an open minded person, willing to learn, the other is completely guessing and closing their mind to all other possibilities. No, the two are not even remotely similar. But enjoy being so broad minded you gladly hook up with that ghost hunting, big foot tracking, loch Ness monster, alien abductor with unicorn riding tendencies. You'll make a great couple.
It can work only if neither tries to "convert" the other, or debate this issue...ever! Not many people have complete acceptance of others....usually referred to as tolerance. If one can only "tolerate" someone, is that love, I don't think so. Therefore, I would say no.
@x5vampire5x my relationship is the exact opposite, she is a Christian (of some denomination) and when she found out I was atheist she said right to me that before me she thought all atheists were evil, horrible people and she would have never seen herself with one. Almost one year later we don't bring it up, she still believes in something though.
@TETSUno1 Your situation is enviable. One reason (I think) for all the atheists on RUclips is to try to make things be more like Finland across the rest of the world. After 9/11 people started to see the danger in not speaking up. Books like "The God Delusion" started to be published and atheist RUclips channels sprouted like mushrooms. It is scary to have religious countries with nukes. We can make a difference but we can't remain silent.
@agent0sephiroth My parents believe i will be tortured for an eternity, so how exactly can i love them? The answer is i'm mature enough to respect our differences and know that they only worry because they care for me. If you can't apply this same thought process to a relationship then one of the two isn't mature enough to last in that relationship. Hence maturity and respect
I am atheist my husband is a believer. Every now and then we have strong discussions that border on arguments about it, but they ate rare and we agree to disagree and it doesn't permeate our marriage and child rearing.
Kinda off the topic, but I seriously think there is something addicting in the raw fish or how it reacts with wasabi. I had serious reservations about sushi for the longest time and when I tried it for the first time, I didn't think much of it. Ok, but not great.
Year passes, I get a need to have sushi RIGHT NOW. And I've been eating it since, every chance I get. Made my own when the local store gets fresh salmon.
My best friend for 7 years was an atheist, and are religious beliefs didn't influence that. I mean the break-up of our friendship didnt have anything to do with religion in the very least! i mean it really makes me feel a growing sense of anger whenever i see these Pro-atheist channels, but i am not going to fight them or try to change them, and that's what i expect atheist to do. They should respect our beliefs and stop trying to prove it wrong, because honestly either side can prove anything.
I loved the ending.. age makes wonders, you a great/fluid/articulate/true guy.
I hope learning allows me to have your piece of mind. I'm 22, i still have a looong way to go.
Please respond, just to know if you read this
I'm sure I could make it with someone who believed in a personal God, i.e. a person who equates nature with god, that an unexplained force created the universe billions of years ago, or that god is an unexplained element...someone's own original interpretation of how the universe came about thats coherent with reality. I know plenty of people like this. But I don't think I could ever make it work with someone who was devoted to one of the monotheistic organized religions
I haven't listened yet, but I will start off with this comment: I'm an athies, my wife is Catholic, and we're fine. It does help that she has her own beliefs though, she doesn't really agree with a lot of the actions of the priests, and she does believe in evolution. I am teaching her more about science though (she was one of the "just a theory" people until last week, just because she didn't know).
It can work, but a young earth creationist might be a bit harder than a more liberal one.
It really depends on the definition of 'believer'. If someone is hardcore about fundamental religion, chances are they're not very intelligent, so that might not be a person you want a long-term relationship with anyway. If they don't take it seriously and just want to believe in spirituality for the sake of comfort, I don't see how that would effect a relationship. To me the strife could only come from one party believing the other is damned to hell forever because of who they are.
I could be in a relationship with someone who believes in the concept of a god, but I couldn't deal with someone who actively participates in an organized religion.
@ghostofdayinperson I don't think that's necessarily true. I think that might depend on what a believer thinks heaven and hell are and what happens when you get there. My father for instance doesn't think he will have any recollection of his present life or loved ones or know whether or not they're in heaven or hell. But I always get into fights with my mother because she constantly tries convert me back to Christianity because she thinks we'll all see each other when we're dead.
@TheMidwestAtheist It is amazing how many people are "so close" to being atheist since while they appear to "know better" they still have to deal with the fact that they were probably raised (i.e. - "programmed") from a very early age to believe in the basic tenants of religion (e.g. - the concept of "god", "satan" or "evil one", heaven, hell, etc.) I am still suffering from that condition as well since, try as I might, I still catch myself sometimes thinking in terms of a supreme entity...
That 2nd caller is going to be me someday. am I ready to go through that kind of stress and watching my children leave the church and having to be the only christian influence in the home? My boyfriend and I had been dating 6 mos when he told me he had decided that God no longer existed. Ever since then its been a crazy roller coaster of family telling me that being with him is a mistake and it will ruin my life and me thinking I can make it work. This is actualy the first place iv found advice.
That depends. What does the religious girlfriend believe about extramarital sex, contraception and abortion?
@lordnimr0d So... While it is better to find someone that is similar to you mentally, our bodies, through evolutionary biology, still tell us to find someone different? That would explain the "bad boy/girl" syndrome. I guess my point was that there are certain biological cues (visual, auditory, olfactory, etc.) that override our better judgment. And since consciousness is a relatively recent cerebral development we still have to give credit to the thousands of years of evolutionary development.
I'm not exactly a believer in god, but my girlfriend is, our relationship is working pretty good right about now.i don't stop her going to church, things like that, i just find it good she believes in something and such.
I see there is no responders who seem to be coming from a Christian perspective. As' I have been an Atheist. Now I am a Christian. So I will give the Christian perspective; being that is what I am. Biblically it balances out where it is alright for union of people with different views, such as religious. 1Corinthians 7: 12-15, talks about believer and unbeliever marriage from a Christian standpoint.
My ex-girlfriend (almost wife) was an Atheist. Religion is not what split her and I apart.
I love it when you talk about your girlfriend :) I feel like you shared a little bit of yourself and connected with your viewers by telling your own point of view and experience.
And commenting on the original topic: No, I would never date a theist. My boyfriend was the one who made me admit that there is no god, even though I was a sceptic before. We're now 18, been dating him for 3 years and we joke about religion and are so much alike :) He's perfect. BUT if he was a theist it would be hard.
@chiprommel It can work out but it depends upon how religious the person is. Your Ex-Girlfriend was obviously a fundamentalist and a relationship between a fundamental Christian and an Atheist is nearly impossible. She believes you will go to hell. You believe she's crazy. It just wouldn't work out. However a Christian that is non-judgmental can get along with you.
God, change the settings on the microphone please.
I think it depends on the degree of their religiosity: if they're spiritual I wouldn't expect much in her wanting me to change .. the more religious they are the more we'd clash e.g. I'm not baptizing my children or sending them off to christian -or any religious- school.
Me being an atheist, it feels like I could never be enough for my Christian boyfriend. He says that I'm his world, his everything, his heart, etc. But deep down I really think that all of these things aren't true. I have voiced these concerns to him, but he deemed it "being jealous of God.". I told him yes, because God seems to have all of you. I love this man very much, yet, I don't think he is being entirely truthful about how he feels.
I come from a community where religion is (or was) unheard of, and thus it is the sort of inverse of the "Bible belt" situation.
While I am not married to a theist myself, I do know some people who are, and while some have worked out, having the religion issue be overridden by the relationship, the majority fail. In one case violently.
@MrNemitri, you know that Darwin was also a Christian, right?
@waksibra Even I was wondering, just googled it is called Preacher's Kid.
sweet! im 16 and ive always wondered how being an avid atheist might affect my love life/marriage in the future, and how much of a factor religious beliefs should play when selecting a mate. ahahaha cant wait to listen!
i think it could be possible, though it depens on what kind of atheist and what kind of religious we're talking about
As a goof, I tried googling weather there is a dating service specific for Atheists (converse to sites like chritianmingle and stuff like that). I found one that proudly lists the number of men and women members on the site. As a guy, it's pretty bleak. There are currently about 14,000 males on the site. As for females, only about 4500!! Thats nearly a three-to-one ratio!!
I do feel that it is important for my partner to have similar beliefs. However, if she is not an atheist or agnostic, I won't be totally against the relationship. I do have an issue though if she is one of those extreme believers, like my brother's wife. His wife believes that GOD comes above everything else, above even her husband and children. I'm sorry, but that kind of thought just does not sit well with me. If I am secondary to an imaginary sky daddy, then I do not see a future with you at all.
@TheThinkingAtheist, I know your a busy person, but I was wondering... Is that a picture of you & your lady on the podcast picture? Hope happiness fills your days. :)
No, that is not a picture of Seth and Natalie.
im glad you adressed this because this has effected my life more than once. My mother told me that i was incapable of love because i wasnt a christian, and my jewish ex-girlfriend told me that she couldnt love me because i didnt love god.
well sometimes it works, the person who I see myself being with the rest of my life is a christian Pentecostal and I'm an open free thinker she on the other had isn't really into her religion in fact she somewhat hates it the only problem is her family since she still lives with her family it's harder to be myself around them then it also doesn't help that we live far away from each other it's harder for couples in their teens to get through that because of parents she's the only one that's sane
I've been down this road before. I'm an atheist and the girl was a christian. It didnt work out.
If my girl suddenly told me she was religious, I'd have to leave her!
Because I'd never be able to see her as an intellectual, logical, or sane person ever again!
Answering the title of the video well i am an Egyptian Atheist and it didnt go well with me TWICE.. aint sure if its culture or religion or both
@ThumbprintTheatrics The podcasts are biweekly at 1pm EST on Sunday at blogtalkradio. They usually announce the next show on their Facebook page and in the "Link to TTA podcast" thread at the Thinking Atheist forum. I would post the links but it seems to throw up an error for some reason when I try to post them here. Does anyone know if that is a setting that they have selected in order to discourage spam?
the guy who disliked this is probably forever alone
The Kalam cosmological argument is a just fail because of the first premise everything that exists has a cause right? So that would mean that god had a cause but what caused that god and you can keep going on ad infinitum. the second premise is the universe began to exist there is no evidence of this there is only evidence of existence. And again when you take the 3rd premise is the universe has a cause for it's existence. You have asserted that there was a cause, but how is the cause god?
A friend of mine dated a girl once. They had a really good connection and it seemed like a perfect match. A week later he was invited to stay the night with her for the first time. He, and me included, exptected that finally he was getting some poontang. Later that night he called me and asked me to pick him up. Why, i asked. He told me that when they got to bed, she drew up a bible and started quoting her favourite verses. Instant limpdick and end of relationship. :)