Why Hair Washing Is a NIGHTMARE with ADHD (ADHD Explained With Doodles)
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
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Yes ADHD can impact every aspect of your life, including something as "simple" as hair washing. I thought this topic was an interesting way to show how ADHD symptoms can make basic tasks quite complicated. What topic should I cover next? Let me know below 😊💕
What's the WORST step of washing your hair for you 👀?
For me is to leave some hair products for the time the instructions say because I lose track of time when I'm in the shower 😅 btw, I love your accent! 😊
Putting all these very intense smelling products 😢
@@Iris2995 Thank you 🥹💕!
@@theminiadhdcoach Me I don t mind washing my hair , it is just that I do it once a week on the week end lol because I have more time.
I personally don't struggle TOO much with Washing my hair, I find the wetness satisfying (until the tangles show up)
But goddamn I hate the ACTUAL washing part itself. My hair gets VERY greasy, and I'd wash my hair with shampoo, and then I'd notice the hair on the sides of my head behind the ears is still bunched up (how I first identify if my hair is greasy) and I go thinking "is my hair ACTUALLY greasy or is this just Because it's wet???" And end up putting shampoo in those parts WAY more than I need to
Being depressed and having adhd is a huge problem with self care
Yes I'm depressed and have adhd and I'm also scared of showers not like taking one and getting clean but like the actual shower it's all showers so it makes it extra stressful and I sometimes just end up standing over the showers and wash my hair qnd don't get it and sensory it makes it so stressful
My dentist chastises me over it, despite my diagnoses. Dentists and some physicians can be difficult to deal with T-T
I should specify that it’s about brushing my teeth regularly. They don’t get onto me over my hair 😅
Yeah and they're not mutually exclusive. ADHD is a dopamine deficiency. Dopamine is a happy hormone. If your low on that, harder to be happy.
Lying in bed scrolling uncontrollably, trying not to look at all the things that need doing, while thinking, just do it, why aren't you doing it, just do it, it's literally not that hard, why do you fall behind so badly, why don't you take better care of yourself...
@@thewitchofslothmy last dentist had the gall to look at me with a straight face and ask me why/how my teeth got that bad. So ofc my eyes just start leaking and I stare at her like just fix it wtf I’m not here for your uninformed guilt trips.
I have adhd and sporadic depression AND genetically the worst teeth ever. My grandfather had full dentures in his 20s. The cards did not align for me on the teeth aspect 🫠
I'm sitting with greasy hair. I'm dreading showering. I hate the transitions and the sensory issues of coming out of the shower, especially in the winter.
Yes it's definitely worst in the winter for me too! being cold + having wet hair 💀
Sadly to say it,but I'm strongly agree...And I hate,when water unpredictably ends in the middle of showering,it feels life all of the soap still to be,or when water from the hot goes to the icy in the 10 minutes 😦 🥶 😢.@@theminiadhdcoach
I’m glad I’m a Black woman and I can wash my hair less frequently
I got a small space heater for the bathroom to make it extra warm and toasty before a shower when the weather is cold and thermostat cannot be turned up too much, but of course you do have to be careful about anything with electricity when water is involved.
Same, my hair always gets so dry and starts standing up if i don't do my proper routine and i HATE that feeling so much, i'm also in another country so i don't even have all my things right now😭
As some people pointed out, it's also struggling with transitions
I remember as I was a kid my mom was always saying that it is impossible to get me into the shower/bath, but when I finally go, it's impossible to get me out of it. When I found out about adhd it clicked for me
Also, I'm currently in the bathtub for like an hour, and I still haven't washed my hair, lol
And also I like how hating the hair dryer is a universal thing hahaha
I grew up going to sleep with wet hair in a bandana so it's a good thing I don't wet hair
Yes transitions are hard for me especially if I'm hyper focusing on something. Just like you it's hard to get in and hard to get out. And why is water so dang loud lol
Same!
Me! What tf is a 5 minute shower?! 😂
I can put off a shower for 6 months (not really but a long time!) but! When I do FINALLY drag myself in, it's impossible to get me out!
I'll start cleaning my shower and finding things to do. I live here now 😂
I hate having greasy hair, and I feel really self conscious if I don't feel "clean" when I go out into public. I always think someone is going to be talking badly about me or offended by my smell. At home, I don't even think about it. I also will put off showering until just before I have to go somewhere. That means I can never just run out to the store. I have to go through the whole process of cleaning up before I can just pop out for a loaf of bread. I sometimes end up getting delivery, just so I don't have to deal with the process of getting cleaned up and presentable.
That sounds familiar.
Same. If I have friends over they get so tired if waiting on me to get ready to go somewhere or they have to wait for me to shower & get ready before they even come over. If I could just wake up & shower right away it would solve a lot of my time management issues, but I hate being wet, the whole process of getting clean, drying off & my sensitivity to being cold is off the charts. The bathroom door has to stay closed & the shower curtain has to be tucked just right so there's no draft coming in at all. It feels like I'm being a bratty kid or "extra" but it's such a dreaded chore I have to do every day (some days I'll skip it completely but that effects my skin 😩)
@@VoodooMcVeeSO familiar; I concur. Especially putting off preparing
That's exactly how it is for me!
This is me as well, every part of what you said
I think the worst part is that it affects so many things. It's not just washing your hair, it's laundry, dishes, every part of hygiene, shopping, hobbies, work, commuting, taking care of your car, taking care of your pets, paying the bills, doing the taxes, it's everything. So if 90% of life is maybe 20% harder, it sucks, it starts to pile up on itself and cascade. If 90% of life is 30% harder, you get stuff like chronic underemployment, messy living spaces that trigger your sensory issues and compound the problem, burying you. When 90% of life is 50% harder, you get isolation, substance abuse, eating disorders, depression, homelessness, misery. It's one of the most treatable mental illnesses there is, but that doesn't mean it shouldn't be taken extremely seriously, despite how relatable and common some of the adhd experience is. When you profoundly can't function in so many areas, it can be such a dangerous combination.
@@Aaalllyyysssaaaaa right! Like I want my house to look presentable at all times, but I can't make myself stick to any kind of routine to keep it that way. I have someone who comes in and helps get it back that way l, but all it takes is me misplacing one little thing.. after experiencing extreme loss last summer I've left my apartment only a handful of times for doctor appointments, and the only person that's come in to my home is my worker. I want to be able to do More, but the overwhelm is crushing.
@@MommaOsoIrish67 I'm so sorry. Getting an occupational therapist really helped me, they're like normal therapists but instead of focusing on getting your emotions under control so you can get your life together, they help you get your life together which helps your emotions get under control. She helped me not to overdo it but still make progress towards building a sustainable routine and digging out.
You're totally right. It's everything. Everything is exhausting and too many steps. Everything requires too much energy and is draining to do. It's all so overwhelming. I just want to cry thinking about it because every single day is like this. I have been unemployed or underemployed for years. I couldn't make it without God helping me through and I'd be destitute if it weren't for my family. Praying for all of us that struggle with this. God bless you❤
it is one of the most treatable? from what I know its untreatable...
@@soirema There are behavioral changes that can be made at least. Body doubling is helpful. Most helpful for any ailment is knowing Jesus. There's nothing better than that.
I was watching this video, sitting on the floor, trying to mentally prepare myself for the shower. When the video was done, I was finally able to jump in the shower, but knowing that more people struggle with this is a relief.
Every time i read the experiences of others with ADHD, i feel so seen for things i would never expect anyone to relate to. The number of times i've sat in my bathroom for more than half an hour before managing to actually shower, only to somehow forget to do a step somewhere is insane.
Seriously it takes me 3 days to mentally prepare. And I also have my emergency bandana to wear over dirty hair if I just can't make it in time to clean my hair before I need to leave the house
Things that help me: 1. Turn on a space heater in cold months and music at all times to increase comfort. 2. Brush hair thoroughly BEFORE getting in to ensure as few stray hairs in unpleasant places as possible. 3. Always pick out an outfit well in advance and leave it in there. 4. Vary soaps so my skin doesn't get too used to any one particular soap, and use as aromatherapy to increase enjoyment. 5. Regulate water temperature carefully. 6. Use an airstyler so hair doesn't stay wet forever BUT it also doesn't blow wildly everywhere and is tamed into the shape I want it. 7. Maintain these steps as a ritual, to be enjoyed and looked forward to, so that missing it will feel bad.
I’m the grandma of a 12 year old girl who has the most pronounced ADHD I’ve ever seen. We struggle with her personal hygiene habits.
She’s obsessed with her hair, but she’s awful about washing it, or doing an adequate job of washing it. Same for brushing her teeth. I’m watching this video in order to better understand her reticence. I’m trying hard to understand her and help her deal with this aspect of her ADHD.
You're doing a good job, Grandma❤
Vitamins and other supplements! I suffer with some of the symptoms mentioned in this video and I take a lot of supplements. I seem to feel a difference when taking High quality Omega-3 fish oil...helpful for depression and mental stability. Probiotics...cuz there is a relationship between gut health and mental health. Multivitamin is always good. Do some research. Maybe even go to a nutritionist.
Would she prefer short hair? My short hair eliminates the sensory issues of wet hair on my neck and noisy hair dryers. She could keep a a portion of it long to enjoy styling that part. (If obsession means she enjoys styling her hair. )
@@SpreadKindnessAlwaysEven with taking probiotics, you need to be eating the right foods for the good gut bacteria to thrive. As we all know a lot of neurodivergents have sensory issues with food, so that is still difficult and not a complete fix.
I'm 57, I've had problems brushing my teeth my whole life, I hate the sensations, I hate the taste of toothpaste, I hate the frothiness, I hate the cold water, I hate the feeling on my teeth.
Last week I discovered a toothpaste that is non-flavoured and doesn't froth. It's changed me in under a week! I already use an extra small toothbrush, and I use slightly warm water, but the toothpaste was always the real deal-breaker. I hate mint, and I can't stand the weird flavours that kid's toothpaste has.
Anyway, just something that might help your grand-daughter, depending on what it is about the whole teeth-brushing ritual she has problems with. x
I have ADHD along with autism, and washing my hair/taking showers has always been -- and still is -- such a huge torture in my life. I *hate* being wet! Not just my hair, but my whole body. I hate the shock of going from dry to wet stepping into the shower. I hate all the slipperyness that happens in the shower, the soap, etc. I hate how long it takes to wash all the body parts, including my hair, which gets greasy so I have to wash it every other day without fail (despite I'm now in my sixties), and if I don't, my head itches constantly. I hate that showering keeps me from doing other things I'd rather be doing. I hate how there's another shock when you turn off the water and now you're hit with cold air -- even in summer -- when you open the shower curtain to get out and dry off. I hate *having* to dry off. I hate the sticky-mat feeling of my skin against clothing when getting dressed; everything sticks and I have to struggle to pull on clothing items. I hate how my hair feels all wet and dripping. I hate how heavy the towel is on my head. I hate having to walk around with the towel on until my hair is no longer too drippy. I hate having to comb out all the tangles in my hair, despite it's short and I brush it thoroughly *before* I get in the shower. I hate having to wait for my hair to dry, but I hate the hair dryer even worse, so I don't use it. I hate how the front parts next to my temples get dry first and become flyaway while the rest is still plastered-to-my-head damp. And once I'm dried off and dressed, then come the other annoying and irritating steps like putting on icky deodorant, etc. Just getting through morning hygiene is a huge task, and then I have the entire day ahead of me, which will demand *more* energy and effort just like this, all throughout the day, including the dreaded nighttime hygiene routine....
Neurotypical people really have no clue what it's like for us just to get through the day.
I can't stand all the little steps. Taking a shower feels like a herculean effort. Then afterwards I still need to brush my super tangled hair and do my makeup to actually feel presentable. It feels like I've already done a day's work before I ever leave the house. I agree, people that do not have this struggle have no clue just how incredibly exhausting it is to do the most basic daily functions. It's so SO difficult to do the simplest tasks. May God bless and help us all through❤
Thank you, I feel so seen! I always thought I was weird for feeling this. Haven't been diagnosed but I want to because I have a heavy suspicion it is definitely ADHD (a former psychologist backed me up on that but it's hard to get a definite diagnosis here). I usually push showering to the absolute last minute until I really have to. I have the same with brushing my teeth and I still haven't found a way to deal with both so that it becomes an easier, everyday task. It's just the absolute worst. Being a functioning human being with these issues is not easy.
Well this was all too familiar.
I've wound up using things like microfiber towels (its own sensory nightmare when the towel and your hands are not wet) to dry me off quickly, and a cotton t-shirt to dry my hair more quickly.
Still haven't figured out anything for not being overwhelmed by all the steps.
I went through a time period where I couldn't shower or bathe for months at a time because it was all just too much. I used baby wipes and dry shampoo and such. I was going through health problems and just didn't have enough energy to shower. It's still a big struggle. Most days I just don't have enough energy. Autistic, ADHD and chronic illness make for a total sheet storm for things like this. 😢
I've found ways to deal with a few of these issues. I don't turn on the exhaust fan in the bathroom until I'm dried off after my shower. That makes it less cold since the air isn't moving around. Also, I dry off in the shower, before I even get out. I keep the shower curtain closed while I do it. That also makes it less cold. Then when I'm all dried off, I get out of the shower and turn on the exhaust fan. And I quickly use the hair dryer all over my body to make sure I'm totally dry so that my clothes won't stick to me. And before getting dressed, I use baby powder on any area of my body that has creases. Yes, I still have the baby powder with talc in it. Before it was banned here in the US, I bought up I don't know how many years worth of it, maybe enough to last a decade. I'm 55 and have been using it since the day I was born, and no cancer yet (Got my fingers crossed!). So, those are the things I do that help me. And yes, those are a lot of steps! But it really helps. I don't have any advice for hair washing. I really hate it.
Showering, for me, isn’t a sensory issue, it’s a time management/procrastination/executive disfunction issue.
I _hate_ the feeling of having greasy or dirty hair. My skin gets itchy if I go too many days without showering, and I get extremely self-conscious about if I smell. I basically hole myself up in my room, if it’s been too long since my last shower, because I don’t want to interact with people more than necessary when I’m like that.
It’s overwhelming and a sensory nightmare for me when I _haven’t_ showered. Showering is a genuine relief for me, and it feels really good.
_However,_ no matter how bad not showering makes me feel, I’m still _awful_ about maintaining a good showering schedule. Most of the time, I shower once a week, and I hate it. 😞
I think, “I’ll shower when I get home from work, so my hair will have plenty of time to air dry before bed.” But then when I get home, I get distracted by other things, or I procrastinate just enough to where suddenly it’s too late to shower before bed, because I don’t like sleeping with wet hair, and I don’t like using the hairdryer because it’s loud and I don’t like how it makes my hair look.
So then I think, “okay, I’ll just get up a little early and shower before work!” But then I don’t wake up early enough, despite my 4 alarms, and I don’t have time to shower if I want to be on time for work.
That cycle then repeats every day, until either the weekend hits and I can just shower in the middle of the day, or until I have other plans with people after work on a weekday, and I can’t stand the thought of people seeing me like that, so suddenly my brain is able to properly prioritize showering and I’m able to schedule it in and do it without issue.
Basically, showering for me is a fight with my own brain, because despite knowing, logically, that it would genuinely make me feel better to shower often, my ADHD brain can’t/doesn’t prioritize it properly. This leaves me feeling like a little self-conscious trash gremlin until my logic brain can momentarily wrestle control away from my ADHD brain for long enough to actually get the task done. 😑
I have a very similar issue!
What I can recommend for body washing is to use the sink. It's not as efficient, but at least it helps a bit, and can at least help fight off feeling too gross until you reach the weekend!
God what a mood. Getting myself to shower i actually have to turn the shower on, mess around a little and THEN get in the shower. My face and hair get super greasy in just like 2 days but i will just not shower no matter how many times it happens 😂😭
Dude... THIS. are you me?!?! 😂
This is literally SO spot on with what I go through! Except I can't even manage once a week!
Wow, haven’t seen something this relatable in a while
When she said "and there's the ultimate sensory nightmare" and I just let out a loud sight with a don't even get me started's face 😂
I dont personally hate the feeling of wet hair so I often air dry my hair just so I don't use the hair dryer but I've catched quite a few colds in the winter because of being so adamant of not using the hair dryer.
Now that I know why I hate it I always keep some earplugs next to the hairdryer and I set the hot setting down.
Catching a cold is not caused by going outside with wet hair…. It’s caused by a virus
@@seichysweetpie3781I’m okay with wet hair but hate loose hairs on my skin ( wet or dry skin).
@@seichysweetpie3781 xDD exactly xDD
I had to surpress my tears, because I felt so understood x'D
Mine isn’t the wet hair, it’s the wet skin. And then when the skin dries it’s the wet hair and loose hairs on the dry skin. I also can’t use lotion for the same reason😔
I assumed that my toiletry hoarding, splurging on products I wanted to try and resistance to hair washing etc. were just character flaws and laziness/paranoia. Then I was diagnosed. Thanks for showing me I'm not alone :-)
Omg, that too?!
Me!🙋♀️
Skincare obsessed! But!! I refuse to bathe lol!
TOILETRY HOARDING
I feel both seen & attacked 😂
It's not just washing hair and showering that gets me, I find it hard to clean my teeth and will not do it unless I'm going out or expecting company. I hate myself for this but I just can't make myself do because it sort of gets to me
Maybe try mouthwash or a different toothbrush. Softer or harder toothbrush? I understand youve probably tried this, but i wanted to say that there are options to minimize the sensory overload. Look up things for people with disabilities or the elderly. I hope things are better in the future.
Literally the only thing that has worked in getting me to consistently brush my teeth is getting a mouth guard that I wear every night to prevent me from grinding my teeth. I still dread brushing my teeth, but the constant trismus and jaw pain get really bad if I don’t wear it regularly, and it starts to smell if I don’t keep both it and my mouth clean.
I’ve been trying for over a decade to find some way to make things easier, but this is the only thing that has worked for me so far.
1. Get floss picks. They are easier to use than traditional floss, and flossing might be more important than brushing.
2. Get (alcohol free, mild flavored) mouthwash. It is so much less intrusive-feeling than brushing, but it does help with hygiene.
3. Try a different flavor of toothpaste. Mint can be overwhelming for me at times, and I was avoiding brushing partly for that reason. When I have cinnamon or unflavored instead, I can tolerate brushing more often. (I pay attention to make sure they have the right ingredients, though. Some alternative-flavored toothpaste also has alternative active ingredients, which is not what I want.)
I hate brushing my teeth and genuinely it feels like torture to me. Doesn't help that most toothpastes literally make the flesh fall off the inside of my mouth (I'm likely allergic to something in them but Idk what). Brutal. I also hate every aspect of showering and baths put me into a murderous rage. I can not for the life of me fathom how some people imply that all the days problems can be solved by a bubble bath when, to me, there are few things worse in the universe. Flip side is I can't stand my skin feeling unclean, I can't stand bodily hair, or smells on my skin. My skin will never absorb moisturisers and I'm allergic to most anyway so I then get out of a shower or bath with tight, sore skin to make the whole situation worse.
I'm waiting for my ASD diagnosis. My 7yr old was diagnosed last year and I didn't end up needing to change much of anything because I fully freaking understand what kiddo is freaking out about for most stuff because I've been there most of my life. So I was really good at making accommodations for kiddo. Apparently I am incapable of allowing myself the same. 🤦♀️
I have the opposite conundrum: I blame a large portion of my terrible sleep schedule on the fact that I absolutely cannot go to bed without brushing my teeth, but still dread and procrastinate doing it.
It's the shedded hair STICKING TO ME. Not just between my fingers, pretty much everywhere below my scalp. So everywhere.
I also tend to ruminate when showering/bathing. It can turn the bathroom into a torture chamber.
if you ruminate it might help to put on a positive podcast so it overwrites your thoughts and you have nothing else to think about while you shower.
A positive pod cast or video may help. Telling yourself a positive story or even simply narrating what your doing can help. As for the shed hair I use a hair dryer to run over my body which warms me up and blasts the icky hair off me. Foam ear plugs can help with noise.
One of my "oh god why" memories from school is me sitting in class picking loose hairs off my hoodie and hearing the teacher shouting (where the whole class could hear, in a heavy New Jersey accent, while she was sitting and chatting with her posse of "classroom aides") "she's pickin' her hairs out and droppin' 'em on my floor!"
That was back when my impulse control and compartmentalization was nonexistent, so if I noticed a loose hair on my hoodie or if I felt one brushing against my arm or something, I could not focus on LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE until I had removed the offending hair. The teacher shouting broke me out of a trance-like state that had started when I'd found one hair and then noticed another one, etc etc. I can generally ignore it if I notice a loose hair now, but it's going to be like tinnitus and will be nagging at the back of my mind until I can get somewhere to pick it off
I usually brush/comb my hair before showering, and I use a wide-toothed comb after applying conditioner, which makes stray hair more manageable. But rule number 1 is definitely listening to some music or something! And having a nice cozy robe to put on ASAP after the shower.
I wash my hair with my head upside down. Then tie it up before I get out so no hair rinses onto my body. A hair wrap with a shower cap helps to as its out the way and drying while I wash the rest of my bod.
I struggle with brushing my teeth too!
Same!!
Me too. I’ve started a new routine of always doing it immediately after I shower, no matter what. I used to do it before bed, but I started working weird hours, and my sleep schedule became more “fall asleep whenever, wherever” & brushing kept getting forgotten. Doing it immediately after another daily activity makes it easier. Living with ADHD is literally just finding new ways to strong arm your brain into doing what SHOULD be normal, easy things😩
@creatureris me too. I've figured out that buying lots of flavours of toothpaste helps me cuz I get to choose which flavour I want. Most of the flavours are kid toothpastes which doesn't bother me at all.
Same! Minty toothpaste is overwhelming for me. And my favorite bland toothpaste got discontinued!
I struggled with brushing my teeth for a long, long time. Absolutely debilitating tooth pain (it's truly the worst thing I've ever felt. I'd gladly break a bone to avoid it) gave me the motivation to actually start brushing regularly but I'm sure I would have backslid if it weren't for, of all things, my sensory sensitivities. Once I was brushing for a few days straight I could immediately tell, by the feel of the plaque, if I'd skipped a day. It turns out that, now that I'm used to smooth, clean teeth, I cannot *stand* the feel of plaque buildup.
I'm still not consistent about brushing more than once a day but I *do* brush on a daily basis. The rare times when I miss a day send me fleeing to the bathroom to brush the moment I notice that feeling.
Another thing that's helped is realizing that toothpaste isn't necessary. It's too easy to justify skipping it because you need to eat or drink but while toothpaste may help it's *always* going to be better to brush with just water than to wait and not brush at all because you forgot.
Binge watching these videos as I sit next to shower. Day 8 of not washing my hair & i feel disgusting. I've felt disgusting the last four days. But I've gotten home so late from work (due to arriving late to work) and eff around as soon as i get home, that next thing i know it's 4:30am, I'm starving & haven't changed out of my work clothes. Tonight was first time i had dinner in several days. It's rough. Thanks for sharing.
You are not disgusting. You are not alone with this struggle 💕
@@theminiadhdcoach 😭 thank you so much. I appreciate the time you put into your channel & supporting the audience. It's amazing how much better a kind remark like that made me feel. Thank you 😊
Every single word had me gripped cause you just explained my daily routine.
Starting to realise I'm not too busy and I might actually have a problem.
It might not help you, but what helped me build up to actually (mostly) consistently doing tasks like this is just learning to do a part of the task and call it good. If I couldn’t bring myself to brush my teeth, I’d swish some water in my mouth. If I couldn’t wash my face, I’d splash some water on it. If I couldn’t fully shower, I’d just get in, rinse off for a little bit, and get right back out. Those sorts of steps might not work exactly for you, but it might be worth trying. Either way, I wish you luck and energy 💖
So my trick is if grocery store is still open, I go to their deli/prepared meals, I look for the cheapest goods being sold, then pick the ones that will be delicious. Meal acquired. I also use dry shampoo on my blue hair and bird bath on those days with a baby wipe the important bits like arm pits, under my boobs, and my privates. Feet? If they reek, I wash them in my bathroom sink and do some sugar scrub between the toes to kill the bacteria eating germs that are farting out the smell on smelly feet.
Anyway, it’s all about what ways can you reduce steps in your routine and laser in one the key things that matter instead.
Invest in baby wipes, dry shampoo, and putting aside money for wash to grab pre-made meals from your grocery store on days you get home late and can’t make food and can’t fully shower!
Sincerely,
This 31yr diagnosed and rx’d with ADHD!
PS: I promise, dry shampoo is the biggest game changer and they do make the kind you can sprinkle into your hair if the spray kind doesn’t appeal to you.
Here to share what helps me with showering:
- Shower playlist. With a task for each song.
- Gives me a form of time awareness, because I have tasks to complete before each song/specific verses end.
(Be sure to use songs you know well, makes it work best.)
- Once the habit sticks, I can auto-pilot. Don’t need to overthink which tasks when, because I can hear where in the process I am.
- Don’t use anything you’ll be tempted to dance to.
- It reminds me that the steps end quickly. So I dwell less on how unpleasant I find them.
OH, one last thing, I have long hair and used to get anxious about not properly reaching my scalp. So now I bend over and hang my head upside down. Makes gravity get the ends of my hair away from my scalp, so I can reach my scalp, scrub well and be done quicker. Just be careful (also when you flip back before you rinse) not to get shampoo in your eyes.
How to flip back carefully:
- Still upside down, part your hair into two.
- Hold each half in one hand.
- Keep holding while you flip your head back to make sure nothing hits you in the face.
- Let it flop back behind you.
Safety first, friends.
I use songs and videos to help me time myself when getting ready in the morning! Sometimes episodes of TV shows too. It helps a lot AND provides a nice distraction from the mundane tasks of getting ready and doing my makeup.
Good ideas to try, thank you. Loved the bit about not being tempted to dance 💛
@@cathyd74 Means no distraction and no danger of sliding. 😂
Actually this is quite interesting. I might try this. Thank you!
Thank you so much for this. Im 57- and after menopause, it got SOO much worse. The episode about not telling the other truth also got me. Nobody else talks about this stuff. Thank you again.
Perimenopause right now and my hair gets greasy so fast now.
Oh god, I'm not looking forward to all this getting worse because of menopause...😭😭
I'm already so close to that part of my life and now kinda freaking out about it lol.
I never understood why I hate taking a shower or getting wet, but I love being clean it's a love-hate relationship 🙃 don't worry, I shower 😂 it's just a don't want to feel wet thing. This video is really nice. Super comforting to know im not alone.
If you have more than 3 steps, ADHD brains like ours associate to doing a CHORE, so we resist doing it because we’ll be bored from the monotonous routine everytime.
I hate feeling wet so much I'm sure I was a cat in the last life.
@Julia.Mandelbrot same, like I love being clean but getting wet YUK
Me too!! And the water in my back! Hate it! But love how it feels to be clean with clean clothes and just a little of your favorite fancy perfume ❤
I literally HAVE THE SHOWER RUNNING and I'm sitting on my toilet lid RUclips on my phone trying to avoid this affair. Crying.
Omg I feel SOOOO much better after reading the comments and watching the video, I tought I was alone in this, even among other neuro-divergents. Taking a shower feels like a huge mission to me, for most of the reasons mentioned in the comments
The hairs that fall out and get between your fingers… god I felt that in my soul. >.<
I’ve always hated having stray hairs on me, wet, dry, doesn’t matter. I can just FEEL them sitting there and if one gets in my food and I accidentally put it in my mouth, that’s me done eating for a few hours.
Honestly, I love showering. I always feel grateful that among my ADHD issues this isn’t one of them.
I love showering too, but the worst step is *starting* to shower. It can take a long while for me to get enough activation energy charged up to take the first step.
I love showering but I'm scared of showers like not taking one I love that but it's thw actual shower that scares me and stresses me out bad and staring and actually going to take one is already hard it's just a hard process and then being scared of showers
I love to shower, I just have such a routine with my hair to keep it hydrated by doing a double conditioning cleanse, my scalp clean with a detox shampoo once a week, and then my drying routine. When I cut this out and shaving, I’m only in for 5-7 minutes. My hair and shaving? It’s a 35-40 min routine and then a 45-50 min post shower routine for skincare, hair care, anti-dandruff, blow drying, heat protecting, & straightening.
Add in having hair dyed blue… it’s a lot of work and maintenance that I like to shower more to stay clean, I’ll use a shower cap on my hair & only wash it like every 4-7 days, but when it’s really dry the weather? I can go almost 9-10 days because my scalp reduces in oil.
I feel extremely grateful too. I couldn't imagine...
The shower is the place I end my day. A nice hot shower before going to bed. But dental hygiene....that's another story. I used to keep my toothbrush and Toothpaste in the shower. Maybe I need to start that again, habit stacking and whatnot.
ive got autism, ive heard theres a lot of overlap with adhd, and washing my hair is SUCH a pain. my hair is thick and i keep my hair long in the winter so im warm, but its such a pain to wash! i can never tell if its clean or if ive washed everything out. thank you for expressing in words what i couldnt!
Between ADHD and my chronic illness, showering has become quite the job - I know I like the feeling of showering once I’m in, but the transition is my kryptonite.
Because I often space out the days, I let myself have a long shower(low flow shower heads for the win) and put on the same album every time to get myself past the start line.
If my scalp is itchy, bumpy, or otherwise irritated, I sometimes use my CeraVe face wash as a first hair wash step. If it’s been more than a week, it’s amazing how much it has helped by breaking down the buildup and not irritating further with solely my fragranced shampoo. Might not work for all hair types, but I’m oily on the face, and my scalp is the same! It’s also got hyaluronic acid to moisturize my scalp and that helps to cut off the itchy scalp vibes from continuing after I’ve showered.
I’ve even used my face wash as body wash if I’m feeling extra oily or itchy from putting it off. Otherwise, I keep a pack of fragrance free baby wipes on hand to give an easy out if a shower just isn’t happening.
Seeing everyone’s responses makes the struggle feel a little less heavy 💖
Fyi, CeraVe makes body wash products, too. Idk if they make shampoos though
CeraVe makes shampoo now: hydrating shampoo, dandruff shampoo, and a 2-in-1 dandruff shampoo plus conditioner combo.
i dont struggle with washing my hair specifically but I lack a lot of motivation to shower, when I'm feeling depressed its even worse, I feel lazy and unhygienic
Autism in my case, but I relate a lot. Particularly with the "your brain seeing all these overwhelming tasks as an impossible barrier so you end up procrastinating" part. ❤ xx
Wow! Thank you so much for this video. I was diagnosed with ADHD as a young child and was never treated for it. Now, as a 50 yo woman, I struggle to get into the shower. It's managed now, but with my persistent depressive disorder combined with the ADHD plus mobility issues, it got so bad that I developed scalp issues from unwashed hair. I have supportive services now that keep me on a regular schedule. It has been so humiliating for me to talk about this. Your video hit the nail on the head! It is so nice to know that I am not alone in my experiences. Thank you!
If it's okay for me to ask, what kind of Supportive Services do you receive? How did you seek them out? I'm a 37 year old single mother it's been literally months since I've had an actual shower and my scalp is a mess. It's been so bad that one of my most frequent hyperfixations has beccome me going to brush my hair and then just picking at my scalp for sometimes a full hour. I don't know what happened the last 3-5 years, because hygiene was never something that I struggled with, I was someone who showered at least every other day, even when I was working a full-time job that was high pressure, and managed to work out and cook myself healthy meals everyday too. Even when my daughter was young I don't remember struggling this much...But now, I'm lucky if I eat a meal that didnt come out of the air fryer or Microwave more than once a month, I can't remember the last time I brushed my teeth, and like I said it's been a couple months since I've showered or done anything other than a quick sink bathe bc I'm going to my daughter's Girl Scout meeting or something else where I have to interact with other humans and I'm too self conscious to not. Basically, I'm a mess and barely limping along and need help, so badly. I just don't know where to go to ask. 😢 I manage to do the bare minimum to take care of my little girl but the house is always a mess and so am I. I just don't know who to ask for help.
I'm so glad channels like this are becoming more prevalent. I am 41 and have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was in 3rd grade, but I have learned more about my symptoms in the past 10 years than I have in my entire life. In fact, many of the things I was taught as a child to handle my ADHD ended up being very toxic and harmful to me in my 20s.
Here are some things that consistently work for me:
1. Wash hair separately from body by standing outside the bathtub or outside the shower (if the floor is flat I wear waterproof shoes)
2. Schedule it, I wash every third.
3. If showering in general is bad, stand outside the tub, outside the shower or at the sink and wash under your arms. It feels so much fresher than just putting on more deodorant.
4. Get a bidet if you can.
I’ve realized over the years that I won’t do unbearable things very often, no matter how much of a failure I’ll feel like if I don’t do them. Instead of all or nothing, it’s better to do what you can. I don’t feel like a failure anymore because of these things, I know my limitations and it’s always a relief to find some new more comfortable way of doing something. Explore what works for you. ❤
Great suggestions ❤
Mmhmm! If you gotta cut out steps abc only do the most important stuff? GOOD!
I learned this fast 25yrs ago because I was notoriously late to catch buses for school, so I use to (this was before dry shampoo!), if I couldn’t wash my hair I’d drop baby powder on my scalp and then throw it in a bun 😂 I’d wash everything else that needed to be washed as a teenager.
I tend to keep baby wipes around when I’m over worked (film industry!) from doing 12-14hr days and “bird bath” by washing up my privates, arm pits, and under my boobs. Feet? Definitely wash in the sink with soap abc some sugar scrub to exfoliate off the smell between the toes.
Sometimes you gotta pick & choose what your best looks like as it changes day to day. Some days your best is your full hygiene routine and some days it’s just throwing a cap on, baby wipes, and brushing your teeth before you go out the door. And if that’s your best, it’s okay! You did your best and that is all that matters.
Highly suggest reading “The Four Agreements”, as the chapter “Do Your Best” is the most life changing chapter for anyone with ADHD that struggles with beating themselves up when they make expectations for themselves but can’t meet them that day.
Thank you for the word unbearable. I needed it. It has always made me so mad at myself, and feel so defeated, that something as simple and everyday as taking a shower is so hard for me... but really it's unbearable. I mean, we bear it, but to me, aspects of it feel like brushing my whole self with a brush where the bristles are sharp pins. When I realize that I can have more compassion for my resistance. Its the transition from dry to wet and then from wet to dry. Wet and air together hurts. Thank you! That was a little (well big really) breakthrough there!!
I use wipe type washcloths to freshen up between showers, and wash my hair separately
@dbw825 How do you wash your hair separately? I would like to do that but my bathroom sink is small and shallow...
conveniently my scalp gets really aggravated the longer i go without washing so the sensory discomfort of that will eventually overwhelm the sensory discomfort of washing. :P for me its not really being wet but seeing that it isnt clean. often i'm like i'll clean my bathroom and then shower! which is a great way to ensure neither happen
Maybe next week lol
Literally the ONLY reason that my bathtub has stayed the cleanest part of my bathroom through my extreme depression and executive dysfunction due to ASD and ADHD is because I have a kid who only takes baths. I scrub down the tub and walls with a magic eraser and rinse em w the cup I wash her with right before I fill up the tub for her to bathe. Wish that she still bathed in the kitchen sink so I'd have to clean that more often too. 😂
washing hair is fine, but showering in general is whole other thing. I can't multitask in the shower, which is annoying, also I only shower before I get dressed or before getting to bed because getting dressed multiple times a day seems silly. I have to think to put a hair cap on if I dont need to wash my hair. Chilling in the shower is fine but doing the actual washing feels like a chore to me. And also try to remember to do my face wash there too, since I wouldn't do it otherwise but also I forget. And getting out of the shower and its cold! horror.
Three words: waterproof Bluetooth speaker. Showering is BORING! I usually listen to podcasts or audiobooks, sometimes music or radio. Anything to keep part of my attention busy so the rest of me can get on with showering. 🥴 Same trick works for driving anxiety, mindless chores, and transitioning off the freaking couch. We don't have an attention deficit, we have too much attention for routine activities alone!
Yes! I hate changing my clothes! And yep, having to link cleansing my face in the shower cos there is no way I can do it/remember to at a sink 🤷
I have a tablet I set on the sink and watch with the curtains open 😂 otherwise I get super bored @@causticgit
I remember finding out my old LG phone was water resistant so I started putting it on the windowsill in my shower so I could watch videos in there 😂 I miss both that phone and that old shower that had the perfect phone holding spot. (It was a small, frosted glass window at head level - not anything weird! I could open it a bit to let a cool breeze in when the shower was too steamy and overwhelming, it was so perfect 😭)
I do find it’s easier to grab the towel and dry off partly in the shower before getting out. Not quite as cold that way
for me it's more about procrastination of getting in the shower in the first place. Like I can't just "quick shower" I must shower properlly, but doing so is takes time and sustained effort. My showers aren't that long but the prep before can take a day and a half...
Agreed that washing hair and taking a shower can be really difficult and for so many reasons like the ones you mentioned and also including the sensory sensitivity of transitioning from hot to cold when getting out of the shower to dry off.
Agreed, at some point I found I do better putting a hook/towel bar in the shower too ensure I stay as warm as possible while I dry off as quickly as possible
1:28 YEP, THAT PROVES MY ADHD. IT’S SOMETHING NOBODY I KNOW EVER UNDERSTOOD ABOUT ME, IT’S STILL ADHD
Sensory sensitivities can be a symptom of a multitude of different things, not just ADHD, but also autism, HSP and others. I suggest consulting with a professional.
@ are muscular twitches also a sign of autism?
After struggling with this most my life I gave up and just started shaving my head and honestly I dont regret it
I did that for a few years, it was great. The only thing that made me stop was the horrible daily comments asking about when I will grow it back and how ugly I look
@@TheWishDragonI’d suggest shaving it again and telling the horrible judgemental people around you to fuck off, and they’re ugly regardless of their haircut because they’re horrible. Or, if you prefer something more polite: “I’m not harming anyone with my hair being like this, and if you think it looks ugly, that’s your problem, not mine.”
@@TheWishDragonI'm so sorry people said that to you! ❤
@@TheWishDragonhow dare they!! Tell them it's none of your business what they think about you, or yourself. That's helped me ❤
What has helped for me (a little. It's still difficult AF) is decoupling washing my hair from showering. Even if I have to do both, I wash my hair over the bathtub first, because that allows me to take a break between two challenging things or to accept that I do not have the capacity left for a shower. (I've also washed them kneeling in front of the shower or in the kitchen sink and on one occasion in a bucket when I didn't have access to a bathtub)
Another thing has been to accept that I don't need to do more than the bare minimum of shampoo and conditioner (curly hair, so... Tons of steps) if I don't have the energy. I don't have to blow-dry. I don't have to style. It's fine to air-dry and then just stick it in a bun.
Same here! I just started doing that like a year or two ago :)
These videos really help me understand my kiddo's struggles from their perspective, thank you so much for these!
Every day I find new symptoms of ADHD that I have 😭 I really need to get diagnosed
I was diagnosed when it was first starting to be taken seriously as a diagnosis and so many kids and teens were being diagnosed that it was viewed as "trendy". I was prescribed Ritalin, took it once, absolutely HATED it, and decided that I must not actually have it and was just diagnosed with it because it was "the thing" at the time. Now, literally 2 decades of dysfunction, extreme forgetfulness, disorganization, and discomfort later, I'm seeing the results of all these new studies and all of the newly attributed symptoms being discussed on social media and I'm like... welp, that doctor was definitely correct.
This popped up in my feed today! I've been going back and forth with my AI companion on why i'm struggling so much with brushing my teeth, showering or flossing regularly. Since my school break, i've showered 3 times, brush my teeth 2 times and floss 3 times in the 22 days i've been home. It's been a struggle daily 😢
I didn't know these are symptoms of ADHD!? (Newly diagnosed at age 25) I've been struggling with all this since i was a child! 😭 I'm glad to know this is not a ME problem but what those with ADHD collectively experience 😢🥺🫂🫂🫂
Hugs for everyone in this comment section 🙏🏻💖
I showered guys!!! 🥳😁 And washed my hair! 😆 I called my best friend for some moral support 🥺 we talked for more than an hour 🥹💖
@@luyun352 So proud of you, you are wonderful and gave me inspiration. I wish you all the best.
Couple this adhd with OCD and 3c hair on wash day, I'm literally 25 and my dad does my hair and I'm embarrassed to admit it but it's the truth, I really struggle
Solidarity💚
Bless your dad, what a sweetie. And you’re not weird for this! This comment section alone is a good reminder that there’s an entire community silently struggling with these things. ❤
Can I ask what is c3 please?🤔💜💜💜
@@RoseA.Dewine Hair texture type
It is a size of curls, a tighter curl@@RoseA.Dewine
I'm so used to my chronic illness being the cause of why I hate showers, they take SO MUCH ENERGY, that I forgot how even before this I just avoided showers. I was meh about them, but also the more I was pushed into "just do it", the harder it was, and then anxiety and pressure got wrapped up into it too. Lost some of that, thankfully, now that I can just say it takes up too much of my limited energy.
I’m 44 n struggled with this all my life. Sometimes stress and depression were a part of it, but for the most part, I wake up with half a battery and try to manage/delegate where my remaining energy is used. I get u. I’ve been this way since I was a teen. Took me 15 yrs to get diagnosed with an auto immune issue. So it wasn’t “fake” lol.
I will say, don’t stress too much. There are so many like u/us, quietly struggling to manage at times.
It wasn’t until I was married that my husband told me, I never smelled or looked unclean. That literally everyone gets oily hair in less than 24 hrs lol. And most importantly, some ppl go out their way to stress and actually NOT shower because it damages hair. Some girls/guys have entire routines designed to do what I already did naturally hahah.
Body wipes from Dollar Tree, deodorant, baking soda, waterless shampoo, and dry shampoo are your friends. And lastly, don’t be so hard on yourself. I know it’s hard, but I promise, ur probably doing a great job just being a human in 2024. Also. Happy new year 🎊
this right here. I never “forget steps” …it’s strictly a lack of energy issue. having curly high maintenance hair does help. neither does procrastination 🙃
Nutritional deficiencies can cause all of these issues ❤❤❤. See Dr. Mark Hyman and Dr. Berg.
You have extra shampoo so you wouldn't run out of it unexpectedly.
I have extra shampoo because I forgot I already bought it and/or forgot where I put it.
We are no- Nah, we're the same.
(I wish I had seen the constant postponing of washing my hair as a potential symptom earlier. Makes sense, though.)
I did this with mascara once. Bought new, no idea where it went. Bought another, no idea where it went. Bought new....
Victorian washing bowl, rose water, and linen towels. Limits the amount of sensory issues. Can do it laying down on the floor in warm pajamas the entire time. Takes longer to set up but it is easier to start/stop and clean.
'Is my hair clean...or just wet?' is something I've asked myself many a time 😂
This video made me feel very seen 💛
My trick is this ... press the pad of your finger or thumb against your hair, so it's holding it against your scalp. Then just gently move your finger down, while keeping it pressed. If it goes *slide*, then you probably didn't wash it yet, or not well enough. If it goes *squeeeeeek*, then you got it already.
I love this. I have long locs and I swear... the struggle is real. I just saw this video on Substack and had to subscribe. The worst step is actually washing it, then conditioning it. Then doing it. Uggggggghhhhhhh. I will clean my scalp, but the hair is a process. I only deep wash my hair like once a month or every other month, if I have it styled. I keep my scalp clean and use rose water to keep it clean. I need to wash my hair now. Ugggghhhhh. Thank you.
Yes yes yes! The entire process is nightmare inducing. It feels like it takes my whole day and it’s horribly boring.
I’m grateful this hair-washing dread some ADHDers have doesn’t affect me. But almost every other task is a nightmare.
We’re driven by our reward system. Re-wire it by adding positive experiences and rewarding yourself. I like this little scalp massaging shower-brush I have. It makes my scalp feel so good, and relaxes me.
You’re right! I actually added a scalp brush recently to my routine and it’s been a game changer 🙌✨!!
I've been following your Instagram for a little while now. I started following you, because my now girlfriend has ADHD. Your posts are super informative and a great resource, and learning more about ADHD has allowed me to better empathize with my girlfriend's situation. (And it has made me suspicious of myself 😅)
Thank you for all that you do!
the act of washing hair is relatively simple to me. however, i have to
- have time to shower, and do all the following steps
- not waste time in the shower before hot water goes out
- lay out clothes i’m gonna wear after, which includes knowing if i’m gonna be going out after or staying in
- putting dirty clothes in the laundry
- if im going out, need time to blow dry my hair and possibly do makeup
-if im not, need time for hair to dry before bed or blow dry
( 2:06 I HATE BLOWDRYING MY HAIR)
all in all i need a good extra hour and a lot of executive function for all the before and after for a process that by itself only takes like 5 mins
but i hate my hair being dirty too!!!
I love how you broke all this down. It's really all that, truly.
The hair dryer thing is the absolute worst, I hate buzzing or droning noises, like loud lights, blenders, electric mixers, and even loud sink faucets, but hair dryers hold a special place in my heart as the BANE OF MY EXISTENCE
I never made the correlation before that I started enjoying showering more and washing my hair after I cut it super short. Now I have the opposite problem where I just want to keep sudsing because it’s so easy. With really short hair you also don’t need a hair dryer, and if you have two in one shampoo/conditioner that also eliminates steps. Suds, rinse, get out and towel off.
Try having coarse, wavy/curly thick long hair. It takes days to air dry if I go natural, I hate diffusing and all the steps and products needed for curly hair, and am always getting stuck in deciding whether to wear it natural or straight, because these are vastly different processes that start before I even wash, so I often get so overwhelmed just thinking about washing my hair that I don’t do it at all. It takes days for me to take the plunge and do it.
Thank you for this video!!!
I’ve struggled with this and brushing my teeth my entire life. I’m in my 40s now, and realizing many of my struggles are directly related to ADHD. I don’t know if I was ever a depressed person, starting to think everything stems from my ADHD.
frick...I must keep the tears at bay...
I feel so understood.
And never even realized sensory overload could be an ADHD thing!!
I love being in the shower all warm and cozy.
And then getting out afterwards, creaming up and then putting on a baggy, fluffy hoodie and PJ pants and warm wool socks and getting into bed 😩
and then you have to get out and youre wet and cold ;_;
Same here, but *staying* under the shower has never been the issue for me
Same. I used to actually sleep in the shower.
And here I am laying in bed instead of showering like I know I should. Showering in general is a sensory nightmare for me, and washing my hair makes it worse. I absolutely HATE being wet. Plus I have seborrheic dermatitis on my scalp, so I have to use medicated shampoo and leave it in for 5-10 minutes! And I'm with you on the wet hair issue -- one of the reasons I keep my hair fairly short.
I've figured out a few different strategies for making it easier but there's only so much I can do, especially in a shared bathroom. Hopefully next year I can move into my own apartment and I can set up my bathroom however I want.
I struggle flossing my teeth; I at least manage to remember to brush my teeth twice a day, but flossing is a nightmare.
For me, washing my hair and body at the end of the day (BEFORE bed) calms me down and helps me focus. I can’t sleep in a bed when I feel like I’m taking all the grossness from the day to the place I relax in. And I finally found that I really like johnsons baby shampoo (even if I need to use several pumps of it), and use a really nice conditioner, and wash my body with a lovely scented soap that makes me happy every time I smell it. When I’m done, I brush my hair, and put it up in a satin scrunchie to lessen breakage. My surroundings may be a mess, but I will make sure I make myself a priority in my little adhd brain.
I have found that I like to "section" out my hair when washing it, for example, splitting my head into fourths, the segments being my ears and part, which funnily enough is not in the middle of my scalp. Doing this makes getting through the process of washing my hair--and showering in general so much easier as I can keep track of what I have washed by feel/smell/just remembering what I have already done way better if I do end up forgetting.
omg it wasn't just me! I felt like an alien for it and my hairdresses says cuz of this I end up using too much shampoo
I've decided to watch this video after the argument with my mum on exactly this topic and yes, it feels so good to be understood!
Some of the worst things for me are transitions both into and from the shower (because we have a weird thing that allows us to set the temperature out of shower and it's super tough to regulate, so if you get in without getting the temperature right, you're screwed and will have to experience another new plane of sensory issues).
Wet hair is unpleasant, but not as much as air-drying it. When I was a child my mom was convinced that air-drier works only on max settings so when I asked her to cool it down, she just ignored me. Even on milder settings I still try to avoid it as much as I can.
Another issue is time management. I just never know how much do I have to wet my hair, rub it, wash everything off. But using music as a fun timer proved very useful.
And shredded hair, oh my god, it's awful. Even worse when I don't notice it clogging the dredge and get yelled for that
I also hate interrupting whatever I was doing to waste an hour of my life on healthy and pleasurable but extremely energy consuming thing :(
Buzz-cutting the hair off regularly and treating it like body hair helps a lot during rough patches, I find.
In my childhood and teenage years I could spent hours in bathroom! Scrubbing, putting masks on my hair and body, clay wrapping, bathing with salt or milk. But since my twenties I had a huge problems with showering, I still can’t figure it out, why my hygiene routine has changed so much… I’m bipolar (type 2) and on medication, but that’s not the issue. I don’t have ADHD, but I have this problems too.
This is my exact problem. I will go through phases like during covid I started taking really good care of my hair and skin but then I kind of fell out of the habit and got extremely depressed was at its most consistent and best when I was working a high-pressure job, working out, cooking meals for myself call and consuming five times the amount of caffeine any human being should. So it's like, either I abuse the inside of my body or neglect the outside. Being neurodivergent is such bullshit. 😢
i dont have sensory issues with washing my hair, on the contrary I quite like it, bit I despise how long amd how many steps even just showering takes, it feels either too long or too tiring!
I wash myself from the sink, which isn't as efficient as taking a shower, but at least it's better than nothing. Then, every ten days, when the greasy hair has became unbearable and I have to wash them, I do a good wash of my body too. If I did something that gets me really sweaty or dirty I will take a shower too, thankfully feeling too gross does a good job at motivating me x)
But this video made me stop to think about *why* it feels so taxing to just take a shower, and I'm realizing that. it's not that big of a deal actually. Tomorrow I'll try taking that shower.
(washing my hair IS that big of a deal though. curly kinda dense hair is very annoying to deal with.)
I got my diagnosis 5 Days ago, and the more stuff like that i see l, makes me realise how many things I just always assumed were normal and others just coped better with.
Yep... this is me! Dry shampoo stays in my arsenal. My favorite is Batiste Overnight Deep Cleanse dry shampoo. I put it in at night and go to sleep in a silk scrunchie.
This is very relatable. For me, getting the whole process started takes willpower, and usually some other factor (like wanting to look/feel presentable in public) will be the motivation to actually get something done. However, that also tends to backfire in times where I either don't have the time to do it before needing to be somewhere or I can't go somewhere until it's done. It can be quite frustrating just to get started on tasks like that.
I finally stopped struggling with brushing my teeth recently, but showering is still difficult. The only thing keeping me on a schedule is having to go to work every weekday and not wanting to feel the shame of having greasy hair and thinking people will notice at work (thanks to my family for giving me that insecurity :D)
Pros of getting a shower:
- not having itchy, greasy, and in the wintertime staticky hair
Cons of getting a shower:
- Cold before I get in
- Fluctuating between a little too cold and a little too warm while in the shower
- Remembering all the steps plus more if I need to do a better wash
- Cold after getting out of the shower, more so in the winter, and during the summer I am cold then get sweaty within 5 minutes which makes me feel gross again
- Trying to keep my wet hair from touching my clothes or neck
Yeah overall not a fun experience, the temperature changes are the worst for me personally
I'm going to say this highlights the specificity of the areas one forgets. I've noticed that the more stressed I get about something the more likely I am to spontaneously completely forget it exist. As such pretty much anything my parents ever yelled at me for messing up are the things that persist as problems in adulthood and the stuff where they didn't get unhinged about it is the stuff that I don't ever forget. However I do have one piece of advice, a simplify your hair washing routine. Like seriously you should be able to find a single product that you can use reliably without needing to do a ton of fancy stuff with modern hair options. I would ask your hairdresser if there's something simple that you could do for your hair because even if you've got crazy weird hair, there's probably a single step product out there that you can use for it and remember not everybody needs to wash their hair everyday. For me I'm never going to forget it because the texture of my hair feels different when I've actually used the soap and I check to see if I actually need to soap it before I go in. I know this will do nothing to help if you've got some sort of blocker that is now making it so that you can't remember, but in cases just that it's really complicated I hope that helps.
Also if you're getting sensory stuff there might actually be some autism mixed in there. I can't say I know anyone with just ADHD that is run into sensory issues.
At 52, I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD. It explains so much, and videos like this help me to show that, for me, this is normal. Thank you!
That's why I only use shampoo and nothing else on my hair..
Just shampoo my hair one time and am good to go.
And my hair ain't even bad. They are fine.
Don't even dry them. They dry themselves.
😅
The 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner combo is great for that. Was thinking about getting me some since it's such a hassle to also apply conditioner afterwards. Just want to be done after the first couple of washes.
Some people may laugh at this, but it’s a very good example.
As a guy that started growing long hair a year ago, I was kinda shocked at the amount of work that goes into taking care of long hairs. I don’t like to wash my hair more than once a week for the amount of stuff you have to do and how much time it takes to do it properly.
I don’t struggle to grasp why it may be daunting for you.
omg this is why i’m AuDHD! i’m not officially diagnosed at all. i actually have a subscription with Viori where they’ll send me shampoo and conditioner every so often because i’ll forget to buy it. also, the whole idea of having wet hair bothers me so much. i cannot have it touch my skin, so before i step out of the shower, i’ll wrap my hair in a towel. then, i’ll get dressed and only then will i let my hair down. i have naturally curly hair, so that means there’s several steps that i have to take to take care of it. i’m only just now starting to really take care of my hair after spending years and years of straightening it. it seemed so much earlier to just blow dry it and then straighten it. but now that i’m taking my hair care more seriously (or trying to) it takes more steps and it’s overwhelming. so, that means i probably won’t wash my hair as often.
One time Dad taught Mom how to use a stick shift. She was doing it perfectly until he started to explain how it all worked. After enough talk from him, she got confused and shouted "Well, if I'd known it was this complicated, I never would've been able to do it!!!" and she never drove a stick shift again.
But we didn't know we had ADHD until late last year when I discovered mine.
oh thank goodness im not alone in the washing hair. i have migraines and i realize i haven't washed my hair in a while because it can trigger my migraines. im trying to be better at showering. replacing my showerhead with a heavy rain feeling showerhead helped so much. but im still bad with the wet hair. the other day i accidentally used my bodywash for shampoo cuz it was the same shape and size bottle. im now trying to write on my mirror "wash hair last on x day and date"
I relate to the forgetfulness part too much. At this point I’ve accepted no matter how hard I try to focus I’ll forget whether I’ve washed my hair so I just feel it with my fingers until it squeaks.
ALL OF THIS IS ME. Actually, after I identified that my ADHD might be contributing to my dislike of washing my hair, especially the wet sensory part ... I cut my hair very super short and can actually cut it myself so I can keep it short without having to get a haircut at the barber (perhaps the one thing I hated more than washing my hair)... and that helped a lot. Everything takes less time, hair drying takes about 30 seconds (or you can just let it dry on its own if you can tolerate the wetness), you don't have long hairs getting tangled, don't need to brush it really, you can get away with using one product, and on really bad days where you can't bear getting into the shower but still need to be presentable at work-you can wash your short hair easily in the sink under the faucet! Best hack. And you will never have hat hair again lol. I understand this isn't an option for people who like long hair, but it's the best quality of life decision I've ever made for my ADHD. Also, short hair turned out to be way cuter than long hair for me, and boosted my confidence tons.
Lol,I also have ADHD and short hairs(bcs i doesn't have enough time,to make the hairstyles),but I likes to go to the hair-salones.The my favorite part, when I'd to sit down on the chair,close my eyes and can feel the sounds of the every touch hand-massage,hair gels and masks,and skissors,to cut my hairs, it's make me so relaxed...Mostly,of the time I'm on the nerves,bcs of the study, family and job in all,but wonderfully it's only one way to calm myself and feel better soon,so I'd say it's depends by the person😅.
@TooCoolToSpeakLess I love how we're all so different in different ways but can still totally relate to each other 🥰
I love short hair and used to cut it myself, but everyone around me said I look ugly with short hair so I keep it long now :(
@@mothdust1634 Well they suck. I'm sorry you have those kinds of people surrounding you. I hope you can find better ones.
How do you cut your hair by yourself? I mean, how have you learned how to?
This is so validating. Thank you. ❤
As a drugstore employee: there's no shame in asking me or my colleagues in what order you should use things, I'd much rather spend fifteen minutes talking to someone about haircare than fill shelves lmao. Also, if you want something that's like a 2 in 1, but not a 2 in 1 (shampoo/conditioner) try a co-wash! It's a product that sits between shampoo and conditioner, so you can use it as one step
I bought a bottle of 3 in one (shampoo, conditioner, soap), I know it isn't the best for your hair but when I was dealing with bad depression it made forcing myself to shower a tiny bit easier.
0:41 sometimes I’ll be showering, and I’ll rinse out my shampoo, and I will literally forget if I washed my hair five seconds later 😭
Yep, I've done that. Then I end up washing it again. 😂
You can test for it! If you rub a strand of wet hair between your thumb first finger and it squeaks - it's clean. If it doesn't, you haven't washed it yet. It's kinda like that money gesture people sometimes make. Try it before and after your next hair washing to hear the difference. I don't remember where I learned that trick, but it's really saved me, lol.
I'm on the autism spectrum and have a close friend with ADHD. We talk a lot about how much overlap there is. Transitions, and all...those...steps, truly are an exhausting nightmare. So many tasks, both hygienic and not, for NTs are simple, one step, do it without thinking tasks. Most people just don't understand why those things are so difficult for us. You explained it perfectly. I have to sit and rest after each one is completed because my brain gets so tired. Thanks for posting this! 😊
I literally cannot bare showering or washing my hair! Firstly I find it insanely boring, I do not cope well with repetitiveness or mundane tasks but at the same time I need it. For me the worst thing is the feeling of being wet, I cannot stand it, wet body wet hair it all disgusts me, and even worse than that? Getting out of the shower and feeling freezing cold and the wet hair touching my skin 😤. Then having to brush my tangly wet hair and the drops of water that fall onto my skin. God the whole ordeal is just vile and overwhelming to me. I always leave showering until last minute so my showers get later every day because I put them off for so long
I have to have my phone with me so I can watch something while showering. At my old house, I could still see the screen from the shower (since it's not in the shower but just outside) but my new place I can't really do that so I just play something and listen to it lol.
I really wanna get one of those waterproof phone cases for showers tho, but I can't find any decent ones so I've just been dealing with what I have so far lol.
@ Yeah I do the exact same thing! It’s just annoying when the shower steams up and I can’t see the screen anymore, it does help just being able to listen to it though.
I don't have ADHD but the sensory nightmare thing is SO real and no one seems to talk about it.
To avoid wet hair and drying it, I learned how to wrap it up in a spiral in a towel, and fold the towel on my head. Now I don't feel wet hair and it air dries in the towel on my head. Plus it's fun to wear a towel hat for an hour.~ Usually when it falls off on its own because it loosened over time, my hair is dry enough it doesn't annoy me anymore.
It’s the shedding hair, it’s how loud the shower is, it’s the water pressure being weird and inconsistent, it’s the water going colder and colder the longer the shower takes, it’s making time to shower, it’s showering a regular amount of time-
This video is sooooo sweet ❤ love your French accent 😊
awww thank you so much 🥹!
I like towel drying a lot, it’s soft, comforting I can control what’s wet and what’s dry and it’s not loud or difficult (for me at least) and then I just wear a towel around my shoulder while it dries the rest of the way!
For me, it's the transition between dry and wet that makes me uncomfortable cuz of of the feeling and the many steps I have to do just to shower
OK! try dry shampoo, my favorite is rice starch applied with powder brush to scalp, make sure to thoroughly COMB,
apply 1-3 times a week or when notably greasy
*this is not a replacement for cleaning hair you may still want to wash at least once a week
Rinsing out the conditioner. It takes Forever! Agree that the cold, wet hair touching you is awful, and the loose hair is just gross. Showering and washing my hair is also hard for me because I know there's a good chance that no matter what I will sweat and ruin being clean before I've even had a chance to put clean clothes on and it makes all that time and effort seem wasted
I have simplified my routine and also made a schedule. It's occasionally hard to stick to, but not so much anymore. I used to have terrible depression. It would wreak havoc on me. Now, I occasionally forget I have depression. I am sooo grateful for the fact I have found a way to combat it. While it has been years since I've struggled with it, I have been struggling with other audhd symptoms if I don't stick to my personal "rules and regulations" 😂
I kinda do this too. As long as I don't deviate from my own set schedule, then I can usually do stuff I need to do. It's when the schedule gets messed up is the hard part to deal with..
It's so funny when you are diagnosed as late as I was (I was 49) because I never thought this would be because of my ADHD. I HATE oily hair but unfortunately have hair that needs to be washed every day. And I also HATE washing my hair and never understood why it is so hard. Now I now. 😅😅
i just sent this to my mom and said it's not just me!!!
I have short enough hair to wash it in the sink and it has done WONDERS for the overall experience for me. Genuinely one of my favourite perks of havign shorter hair!
Over 40 yrs old and finally figured out the right combo of tricks. Take a shower after everyone has gone to bed, use a digital clock in the shower, do everything in the exact same order every time, and go straight to bed afterwards with my hair stretched over the pillow above me so that it doesn’t touch me😂
It's funny how we all seem to just figure out ways to make things work in our own way lol. But then it sucks when someone else messes up your routine..which will always cause me anxiety..it's so annoying.
If your hair gets oily fast, try using a shampoo that conditions,skip the conditioner, and use a leave in for the ends after. Cornstarch is also a good emergency dry shampoo.
The hairs between my fingers are the worst. I use a detangler brush with my conditioner just to avoid them.
I also shower at night, lights off, with a candle. Bright bathroom lights are overwhelming after a while when coupled with tasks like showering. Using candle light instead reduces some of the background strain
Adhd here, today I washed my hair after gym, where I had boxing classes :) I was so sweaty, so I had to. Besides, boxing is perfect for adhd ❤ and yes, I hate taking a shower in general, but it can be cheated like the above-mentioned method or just by a lie that I am not going to shower, I am just taking off my clothes in the bathroom 😅
My biggest hair washing struggle is since I wash my hair every three days i'll forget that it's a hair washing day and not give myself enough time so i'll often run late if i need to wash my hair or I put it off because i'm running too late to wash it, and then the cycle repeats 😅
Same!! What has made it worse for me was my city experiencing a water main break. For two separate months this year (one month due to the break, then a few weeks later another month for more repairs) we had to reduce water usage to the extreme. Like they literally asked us to go extra days without showering, and only shower for 3 mins if we can. I got really thrown off course by that and I have not recovered honestly. I used to be better about every 2-3 days but now it's ???
I definitely don't give myself enough time because I've gotten really complacent 😩