Finding Purpose and Meaning to Overcome Anxiety - Break the Anxiety Cycle 29/30
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- Опубликовано: 14 окт 2024
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If you were to ask most people what they want from life, the average answer you would get is “I just want to be happy.” If you would ask most people what they would want for their kids you might get two answers “I just want them to be happy” or “I want them to be successful so they can be happy”.
We are drowning in a culture of happiness. 4000 books a year are written on happiness. Google searches for happiness have exponentially increased. Products promise happiness. Food commercials promise happiness. And happiness is extolled as the highest virtue. But here’s the interesting thing.
What if I could promise you that I could create a tank, an amazing tank that you could program to feel any experience in the entire world. Pleasure, success, anything you dream of, and this experience would feel 100% real inside the tank. You could be the world's best athlete, olympic gold medalist, world cup champion, you could be the world's bestselling author, you could be the sexiest man alive or the most adventurous explorer, and while you were in the tank it would feel 100% real. You would feel happy. You would only have to leave the tank briefly to choose the next happy experience, and then you could go right back in. Would you choose this life for yourself? Would you choose this life for your kids?
Even though the vast majority of people would say that happiness is their goal, when presented with the option to experience decades of “happiness” in the tank, most people would reject “the Tank” because deep down, they know that there is something much more valuable. A life with purpose, with meaning, with authenticity.
Check out the timestamps below:
00:00 Intro
05:58 OK, so here’s the first key to finding meaning- #1. Belonging
13:36 #2. Purpose
16:32 #3. Storytelling
20:33 #4. Transcendence
24:46 Conclusion
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Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction.
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In 2015-2016, I was going through a lot of issues in my marriage, and my mother had just received a terminal cancer diagnosis. Following mom’s death, I had my own cancer diagnosis just a few months later. A few months after my mastectomy and recovery, a distant family member’s baby girl needed to go into foster care and I was able to take her in. This was the boost to my spirit that I didn’t even know I needed. I suddenly found my purpose again. Not necessarily taking care of babies all the time, but being of service and doing God‘s work. I fostered that baby girl for six months and then she got her forever home. That whole experience was a real shot in the arm for me. I just look for ways to feel blessed and to be a blessing. A mindset shift is just what I needed.
K
Really amazing
I just desire to be STABLE!
Stable mentally, spiritually, financially, socially, physically, and educationally❤
I’m in a lot of thinking now thus my reaction to your comment was : you will never be stable because nothing in life is permanent. That being said, focus on being at peace with your inner self and have faith in your own resources. That can be your stability 😊
@virginiemazy7054 so dang true. 😮
I appreciate the comments about work because that's how I felt. When I was working as a cleaner in a hostel, I felt happy when I was helping my coworkers and giving advice to the guests. My coworkers were afraid to speak up about things, and so I did it, and I felt good about it. When I was working front desk at a different hostel, guests would sometimes say they felt like they were bothering me with all of the their questions but I said no, I am more than happy to give them advice about this city because I want them to have an enjoyable experience. Even though the place itself wasn't that great, people left 5-star reviews and mentioned my name specifically, because I made their stay enjoyable. Every job I've had, what made me feel happy or not was if I felt this fulfillment of actually doing something meaningful.
There is a difference between happiness and life satisfaction. You can go through hard things like a serious illness, or even just raising children, or raising them as a single parent, etc. You may not be happy all the time, but in the end, you have life satisfaction. Because you accomplished something by raising your family, or by not even just beating your illness, but dealing with your illness.you realize your own personal strength and nobody can ever take that from you
In tears at how beautiful this video is, thank you.
As an anxious person, I wouldnt mind writing a book. It wouldnt be very well written, but i'd try to make it meaningful
Do it. I am currently in the publishing process of my first book. I am a very anxious and nihilistic person. Being able to be creative through writing has helped me find meaning.
Go for it! Focus on writing your first draft for yourself and allow yourself to make mistakes. You can clean it up later. Plus, lots of authors make mistakes including best-selling authors. Even K.A. Applegate, whose written numerous books including the Animorphs series, created her own acronym called "KASU" or "K.A. Screwed Up" and admitted to making mistakes in her work.
Do it! You can also find the courage to go to author meet-up groups in your area to help with the development of the book.
emma, i want to say a heartful thanks to you. the last few years have been so difficult for me with sleep problems, anxiety, family problems, mum's mental health (bipolar), brother's business failing, me not having a job for a while. Even though things aren't perfect right now, you have helped me so much. thank you
Thank you so much emma 🌳🌸
These are my principles and boundaries I live by “as long as you do not deceive me or betray me, and as long as you strive to always be honest, truthful , respectful , fair , morally just and treat me with decency and dignity, you will always have my full dedication and commitment to our relationship.” I am a very reasonable and rational person. And I live with integrity. But if a partner continually dishonors these principles , I would leave, even if I still loved them bc obviously the principles I live by wouldn’t be recognized and acknowledged mutually. Betrayal (cheating ) is a definitive deal breaker. Deception is not far behind
The story about your friend reaching out to you and the other things she does for the people around her was very touching.
I am really enjoying your videos. LOVE that you are a Christian! So inspiring! Keep up your ministry of helping people.
thank you for all the help! your a blessing for all of us without proper mental education!
I don’t have a close friend or a friend really at all. I get so lonely and my anxiety has really been a big factor in this.
same here.
❤❤❤❤
Me, too
Me, too
Join a club of a common interest.
Ok though, so that story about the bank robbery. That's me right now because my work had to reduce the team and lay off one person, and that person was me. The idea of why me is what I've been ruminating over ever since. I've struggled because I knew we didn't have the customer numbers, and if it wasn't me, it would have been someone else. The equivalent of the bank robber is the fact that management did a terrible job and overstaffed because they assumed we'd be busier in summer than we ended up being. But maybe I am lucky, because now I will enjoy summer more (since I get unemployment benefits) and I've found a paid position working on a political campaign, which gives me a lot of fulfillment going around my neighbourhood talking to my community about their feelings about life right now. I'm meeting new people, getting fresh air and exercise, and I feel like my work is meaningful because politics is important.
This is beautiful. I was thinking the other day how to get over an obstacle. This was the answer. I hope you know how much you have helped me. Thank you so very much. I will watch this again to do some thinking. Right now I need to go to my friends house to water her flowers❤
Thank you! Reframing life positively. Life is short… make it great!🙏🏼
Best info I have ever heard. Be the light you wish to see. More happiness in giving than receiving. Trancendence. This super amazing info.
Thank you. I truly appreciate your generosity in sharing content and expertise.
This is just the video I needed. I once was really great at finding redemptive stories in my situations up until 2020 when my dad passed away and then a pandemic hit. That felt like I had nothing left in me to believe in positives and its a daily struggle even now. I never knew the names but I could feel myself telling more stories like the contamination one. You are such gold Emma!! 💛
Hello
In almost every second of this video I felt deeply confronted. I seriously found it hard to hear - probably because I think I fail at almost all of it. I did watch it to the end, but I had to fight myself to do so.
I don’t know what your story is but I hope the information in the video was helpful too you. Whatever you are going through, don’t give up❤
Reflect and write your thoughts. Then take the ones where you judge yourself negatively. And find for them a more positive thought in which you can believe. What ever your struggles, you can progress.
I am so blessed to have found your channel! Emma, you are so genuine, kind, knowledgeable . Thank you❤
Proud of the work YOU'RE doing. TAKE CARE and thank you Emma!!
Thank you Emma, for sharing your gifts with me. I appreciate you. ❤
The background music is stressing and distracting (even it's only during the introduction).
That being said the video is very interesting and valuable - you are a wonderful person gifted with excellent communication skills and a positive and loving attitude towards life and people - you are a gift to this world... thank you !
A really important perspective on the Happiness culture
Wow, I've been following your RUclips channel for quite some time and you've cranked out amazing content over the years. But this has to be your most brilliant and beautiful AND helpful video yet. Thank you so much 🙏
Much appreciated. I have to get well again and definetly express the narrative about the good ive had in my life and let the bad fall by the wayside. Thank you!
Thank you Emma! 😭😭💘 This does mean a lot to me, especially the impact and aftermath of COVID-19.
the serviceful life is tricky when you have problems with setting boundaries
Had to be said. Finding balance is very tricky, but practicing listening to your body/intuition and asking yourself what's your intention when doing something might help ❤️ good luck!
Lady! ... You are amazing!!! I am someone that's insurance doesnt cover a therapist. You are truly a Godsend!!! Blessings to You!!!
Thank you so much Emma for all your videos and materials. You explain things in such a calm and simple manner using great stories to illustrate concepts. You have certainly helped me to reframe or at least be more aware of the way my thoughts and emotions can affect my behaviour well-being, and indeed that of others. ❤️
Hi, I just came across your videos. these are genuinely the best yt videos I've watched on this topic. thank you so much for these videos, they have helped me so much in my struggles and make me feel more confident in my future. I appreciate your authenticity and kind energy, thank you thank you
Thank you Emma, I have followed through this whole series and it has help me alot. You saved the best for last!
You are so helpful❤ I have recurring thoughts that I just can't turn off, it's maddening sometimes ugh...
Thank you!! I've enjoyed your series. You have a gift for this❤
So good! Yes, I agree that these are the essentials (for me too faith, albeit shaky and incomplete is the foundation) - thank you for saying things that few people these days feel comfortable to say.
Are you reading my mind?! How did you know I needed this?!!!! I have ao much anxiety that I'm afraid to ask the chef (one of two bosses) to go on lunch break, I stutter when I talk to him (I can't read his face) and I'm afraid I'll get fired
Also, I would get in the tank just to take away my anxiety
There was so much content in this video- I want to listen to it again. I loved the section on storytelling. ❤
Really great way to put things into perspective. Thanks so much
Thank you for all that you do! I use your content to bring myself back to my centre. They're very helpful! ❤
Emma, I just want to tell you how cute your hair looks pulled up like that. I love it! Thanks for all you do to help me understand and handle this life I'm living. I'm not good at it.
I appreciate how practical you are.
Thank you! I could feel your love! God bless you! ❤
Amazing video, Emma! Thank you! Your videos have always been helpful and given me strength and inspiration for doing better and trying again and again. I hope you will continue to practice this purpose of yours. :) I also appreciate that you are authentic in how you put together your videos and how you advertise them.
Emma you have no idea how you influence me ,sending you love and grant
Thanks for this!!!! ❤ Sending this to my dad who's 79, recently fully retired then had 2 strokes and needed a pacemaker. Yesterday, a liver biopsy. Can't drive again yet since January - 😢 he's very down. I'm praying this will comfort and motivate him ❤ Romans 1:20 ✨
Praying for you and your dad.🙏
I hope your dad will be better soon!
Thank you so much for this video and all of your videos in general. I was feeling lost for a while and not sure how to find purpose but I feel like this video helped me. ❤
Are you sure you’re quoting Nietzsche? I‘m pretty sure it was Viktor Frankl who said „Wer ein Warum zu leben hat, erträgt fast jedes Wie“ (he who has a why to live, can endure nearly any how)
I googled it and she was right.
I am following you for several years, I am appreciated for your content
I love this woman 👆
Emma, you have helped me so much more than you know. Thank you!!
This was such a purposeful and personal video. I love it! And I ❤ Mary!
Really great video. Thank you for sharing. This is definitely helpful to get me to bring in flow and living a meaningful life.
Lol! I tried to do dinner once a month for friends and family...no one comes! "Too busy" 😅
I have one friend. We talk if I initiate it.
Time to look for new connections! Easier said than done, I know. I am in similar shoes where I initiate, put out hooks, as I try to find a place to belong, but I hardly get responses. My one friend talks to me and meets me when I initiate it. It can get tiring, but what else we can do than keep trying? Trying to connect with the next group or person, eventually we will find our people. Endurance to your search!
@@JCJustitiaI get it too. I'm in a new city and trying to build my tribe. All we can do is keep trying! God help us.
Amazing and inspirational video! LOVE the stories. And Btw, your hair is beautiful! ❤ Thanks Emma!
Very motivating channel. This lady knows her craft ✨🙏👌🙌 Thank you so much 👍😊
Hi there! I am from India.
Your course is really helping me a lot!
Thanks a lot!
Just what I needed to hear! THANK YOU!
Fantastic as always, many thanks.
Thanks much ma'am, i actually was suffering from this uncounsiously
Love her! Would love a friend like her in my circle.
I just want energy to get over my resistance instead of always fighting with myself to start the tasks I want to get done.
Moving away from religion is not necessarily something that’s contributing to people feeling unhappy, it has certainly been the opposite for me. It’s also not necessarily killing meaning in peoples’ lives.
there is a difference between purpose and religion. For many, they go together, for others...leaving behind a behavior without feeling (their religion) can lead them ot seeking more authentic personal purpose. I hear what you're saying, for me, my religious practice supplements and feeds my life purpose, for many others, letting go of religion, helps them see their purpose.
You are so wise, thank you!
Thank you Emma.
Can you talk more about motherhood? You said you were in flow in that difficult experience with your baby - what? How?? I’m trying to embrace the challenges, but I feel I don’t have the tools, like I’m floundering. I’m inspired that you say flow and transcendence is possible 🙏
Thanks!
Agreed
I lost my job due to my age and combined with other problem and stressors I felt so lost and without purpose questions my Beiing and together with all,my body started to show illness of all kinds 😢
I have to Equip myself
Excellent video! Thank you for sharing and giving personal examples.
I prefer to feel my full spectrum of feeling. People doing drugs or drink or like me overspend sometimes are all, just trying to feel happy, which probably isn't reality all the time.
Could you make a video about the link between anxiety/depression and frequent urination?!? All my phases of anxiety/depression was followed by that.
😊this is so good , much appreciated
God bless you.
All humans have spiritual needs, it's a shame organized religion seems to focus more on shunning groups of people who are in need of belonging and spirituality, and is reinforcing our predisposition towards an "us vs them" mentality instead of bringing unity.
You are so great! ❤
Thank you for your effort 🎉!!
You have definitely changed Emma Ina a great way I see ya girl
I would be happy with contentment.
Thank you.
❤❤
I'm always anxious. PTSD. I am worrying myself silly thinking about PROJECT 2025 and the next election. How can I stop the constant worry and dread?
What is project 2025?
@@noremac4807Put that phrase in Google and you will find a lot of info
Sometimes worry is appropriate. The best therapists recognize the cultural context under which their patients operate, including the ways in which those contexts are wild and the responses are appropriate.
To talk to the ideas of this video, it seems like the way to “stop worrying” is to let yourself worry… and then do something to respond. How can you create a life of meaning and value around appropriately responding to this stressor that is worrying you?
@@TheLiberaceTheory”Let yourself worry, then do something to respond” In regards to Project 2025, I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what Trump’s sniper did.
Realize the media wants you to feel afraid. That's how they get views.
I finished studying with a good grade, i have a part-time job that no longer means anything to me, and i haven't started filling out the paperwork to process my degree. I just want to have a job that gives me good money and that I don't get mistreated or feel that if I make a mistake they will insult me. I don't feel like I'm a adult, i feel like a teenager who can't do anything right.
do u have a "course" like this also for depression..?
This is a really important video! 👍
Thanks for the video!
i have been thinking for a few weeks about how i am not living with meaning and purpose right now and that i wanna look for one. but just an hour ago or so, i was thinking "yes i need that,, but i don't have energy to have a daily commitment to looking for it currently..im spending most of my energy in the healing work im doing" but RIGHT when i watched this video, i got completely convinced, yeah i am starting from now. i feel truly enlightened watching this video. truly. thank you so much
What a beautiful video, thank you
This is the most spot on, helpful post I have ever seen on self care and living. Thankyou. xx
Thanks so much for this...💞
I have nothing to live for. The only friend I have left doesn't understand me. I see no sense in anything and have nothing to fight for. During the worst part of my life I thought that it would pass and I would be fine, but here I am, empty and miserable.
Turn to God. The Quran says that God is nearer to us than our jugular vein. Practicing Islam has brought me out of despair. Sending you hugs.
I dont mean to be preachy. But i do like you criticizing hedonism. I do think humans are meant to be nice and generous and holy , it just makes the most sense
Thank you
I'd take the tank.
Tha k you so much tbis talk really does help me, i need to listen to rhem more often but i still struggle with things and i cant concentrate. 🥗🍤🥖🍹
One can be a very spiritual person without a religion
You help me alot. You're like my support animal lol
Love is Medicine .. Wow!!!
GOD BLESS AND DON'T BE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT ANYONE THINKS🎉
Great course very helpful
After so many years of depression and anxiety. How do you find what really makes you happy. How do you find your values. Your goals. Do you have a course for this?
I feel like this anxiety is never going to leave me. I’ll feel like I’m over it and I have the coping skills to stop panicking and yet I find myself in a panic attack daily. I have begged doctors for help nothing is working. Please help me