Limerence, shame and addiction - why so few people talk about their limerence
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- Опубликовано: 17 июл 2024
- A personal account of my own shame after developing limerence and my journey to talk about the condition publicly.
If you are impacted by limerence, check out the community I founded in 2015 at limerence.net
We have a free forum, private members only forum, an online video program and regular zoom meetings plus other support. Id love to see you there and hear your story.
Dr. David Perl, couples counsellor, relationship coach and psychotherapist
Limerence is so incredibly painful 😢. Mine is finally getting better after 3-4 years
Thank you for sharing and making a platform for understanding limerance.
It is like living in a haunted house, but in our own minds... very unusual and lonely experience.
Thanks for being brave enough to talk openly about this subject!
It's great to see a grown, intelligent man like you could also develop limerence like I did (I'm a woman in my forties).
I'm also married, so a very similar situation, I'm glad I'm not alone with this!
At this point, I think I'm already almost over those strong feelings towards my "crush", or at least the limerence isn't as strong and ever present anymore.
It lasted for several years though and I was wondering why this was so strong - thanks for explaining it really is an addiction, that makes a lot of sense to me.
The feelings still come back sometimes, mainly when I feel stressed or when there are changes in my environment, I go back to day dreaming about this person. But I can catch myself now and I'm always trying to give myself lots of compassion for the hurt child in me- it helps.
I will check out your other videos to find out more about limerence and how to deal with it.
It truly is difficult to talk openly about this, so thanks again! What you do is very valuable and helpful for many people! 💗
Like you said, Limerence is a condition. It wont just go away on it's own.
Finding out about this really took all the subjectivity and pining I was experiencing. Thank yoouu!
Thank you for your work and attention to this condition.
Thank you for making this video.
Yes I have been limerant for 3.5 years for a guy I hardly know. It almost drove me crazy my mental health suffered. I feel ashamed. He has blocked me.
Thank you so much for your comments.
Interestingly enough one can be limerent with one LO but not another? I think the LO has to have that particular trigger, the abandonment, deprived trigger that comes from emotionally unavailable LOs
True.
Thank you
The shame from a cheater comes from the urge to safe face before society.
As a “LO” it was a very unsettling experience to have someone disclose their feelings to me. I have a different perspective being on the receiving end of limerence, it’s nuts! Lol!
yes, I dont think we fully appreciate the impact we have on our LO's until we have been an LO ourselves.
A person disclosing their feelings to you was nuts? Can you please clarify? Thank you
@@user-lk1qx7gb5o this is why people are scared to disclose their feelings for someone, to get told “it’s nuts” and be laughed at.
I can understand that. After I was able to get a bit more of an "outside" perspective on the whole thing- I can imagine it seems totally strange, exaggerated, maybe even scary for the person on the receiving end.
In a way I think it crosses the personal boundaries of that person, to be idealized and objectified from the person who has the limerence.
It probably also comes across as quite immature behavior, at least that's what I thought for myself - why am I behaving like a teenager towards this person?
Anyways, it's so good there are videos about this, so both sides can understand better what's actually going on and what's behind this all!
thank you dr. for the interesting subject matter. could you talk about the causes of limerience ? i know it stems from attachment styles but do you feel it comes from ocd or another path disease?
You will find more detailed information on limerence and its origins here limerence.net/what-causes-limerence
I have made a video on the topic however its part of a paid course that im releasing in a months time.
The pyschologist do not understand 😊