Most coaches come off as a seller. Lee gives honest and professional advice. Ive listened to him over and over. Whatever it takes to get your mind right.
So, true, the way he talks, and eye contact you, is as if he is piercing your heart with his words. I ain't going to lie, I use to listen to others but from I started listening to Coach Lee, am sold
I’m in a strange situation.. My ex wants to be friends but I told her no, we are worth more than that. I’ve gone into NC. I’m letting her contact me. BUT She texts me almost EVERYDAY, wishing me a good day, checking up on me, watching my stories, liking pics that I post and I never reach out! But I can’t help but debate wether I should still keep doing this? How can I make her miss me and go no contact when she reaches out EVERY DAY?
@@sofiandi6117 Long story short, no contact chose you, could be because she never really cared much about you. There are women like that. I'm putting it to the test, will get rid of my number and messenger, and if she really cares, she'll look for me. She has me blocked, best option for me, with her thinking she is now with the love of her life. His advice is good for most people. She'll contact me if she doesn't have money for smokes and tampons, not much of a person I want contacting me before they clean up and grow up. If I let her contact me now, she would just lie to me and waste my time.
This man is GOD... My ex dumped me... n i started no contact rule the next day itself..after watching coach lee's video Today is the 17th day of no contact.. n he texted me saying that i miss you.. n how much he misses me .. my smile... everything... Guys believe in no contact.. coach lee is the perfect guide..
@@prembrolystalin1375 agreed. My hoe ex is a complete whore... And she is getting the whores remorse. Even the guy she was trying to get with in a relationship is ditching her . .. how pathetic a guy is denying her to be more than a hook-up.
@@stealthassulter @Sam Hines my ex broke off with me after 2.5 yrs saying he wants to be single. He is 21 I'm 24. He reached today after two weeks called I didn't pick up and msgd hey how r u just wanted to have a casual chat. I didn't reply cz I don't think he wants to get back together as yest he met a friend and said he wants to stay single but wants me as a friend. What do I do? I want to be back with him but don't want him to know.
I totally Agree on this. My Ex Reached Out to Me After 2 weeks of no contact. I responded to Him just very Short and Polite. Now he wants to see me and talk things out. This Really worked thank you.
my ex texted me a week ago & i ignored the text until i responded back a couple of days ago, but he didn't respond back. i'm getting anxious & overwhelmed that i actually ruined my chance....
I literally have you in my headphones and listen to your videos and advice all day to keep me going. I love your advice. Straight to the point and logical; there is no one else on youtube I could listen to for so long expect you. Love the videos 🙏🏼
No contact do work. I honestly did not think I was gonna hear so soon. I'm not reading anything into this right now. I feel he needs to miss me for a while.
You are. But I would take it further and say something like, ‘please respect my boundaries to move on - do not contact me again unless it’s because you Are interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with me, thanks’. Put the ball in her court and do not answer all other responses outside of an attempt to get back together (assuming you even want her back / she is worth it!).
How important is this video. Amazing. What u say makes sense. No contact should not include not responding. But maybe we should make them work a bit harder before we give all our affections away again. Relationships are tricky these days.
I agree w/ u on this. It makes no sense to ignore ur ex when they reach out. That IS the whole point of no contact to regain control of ourselves and allow time and space to get them to reach out. When they do if u still are interested it only makes sense to respond. This video is a breath of fresh air bc ur right others say otherwise and it just doesn't make sense as they will give up for good. Thank u for sharing~ 🙏🏻💗🙂🙌🏻✨✌🏻
But i think it still depends on what kind of message they send u. If u reply to something super casual they would feel that they haven't lost u and they could get to u whenever they want
Derivative Covariant exactly. People think just because they ex sends a one word text or how are you “doin” text which my ex sent a million times and me being a dumb ass not knowing it was crumbs and she only wanted a ego boost has caused me more pain then good, I wished I would’ve ignored her a lot more.
ChrisSoCalm that will make her think he doesnt want her so she will try to move on so I wouldn’t do that tbh speaking as a female I dont know if everyone is like this but I’m sure some are
Black Vortex yeah it seems too short but we’re kinda on good terms so maybe thats why. we didn’t get back together tho and It is the best decision ever. We’re both in a happy relationships now. Good luck!
So I did the no contact for 3 months he reached out and said “ I want my bestfriend back “ you were the only person who was always there for me even when I didn’t want you to be , ever since we broke up there’s not a day that goes by. I don’t think about you ....” I didn’t tell him I missed him at all I just said well if you need a friend I’m here always said I’d be here when you need a friend to speak to he said I know but I thought you hated me .. I said hurt and disappointed yeah hate you ? There’s no hatred in my heart. He’s been contacting me everyday expect today which is weird but I haven’t reached out to first ... I learned to not attached and learned my power so if he doesn’t reach out to me again 🤷🏻♀️ oh well I was good for three months so. I feel amazing lol
I hear a lot of coaches saying "ignore your ex" until that second urgent message. My ex just reached out a week later saying " Hey i just wanted to see how you were doing and hope all is well" I did respond the same " Im good, and Hope all is well with you" Did not ask anything really direct or something to really really respond to and she didnt respond and im not sending any double text... Be the bigger person without chasing playing a game and if they dont come back around you know you did your part
I agree. I usually tell people it’s best if you never reach out first after they dumped you. Some people choose to reach out when they believe they have nothing to lose and are going to move on if there’s no response. People make their own decisions.
So my ex reached out, I responded....ignored and waited 14 days to respond....now what? It breadcrumbing. What if they are reaching out just to see if they have access to you?
With this specific video, you're the kind of coach most suitable to me. We are civilized and matured people, I don't think it's a good idea to completely ignore our ex even if we are in a no contact rule.
I eventually stopped responding to the rare texts from my ex. It never went anywhere. He was just reaching out to see how I was doing, then to disappear yet again. No interest in anything else. So, he was getting the benefit of my response whenever it was good for him, for his ego boost that I would respond to him each time. The last time he sent a text- I just never responded. Literally no point anymore. He moved on long ago. I need to move on with zero contact both ways. Now I know I’ll never hear from him again, and I’ll never ever contact him.
Please do not ignore your exboyfriend when they reach out to you. Coach Lee, you are so right. If you keep on ignoring your exboyfriend, the outcome will not be good, so PLEASE don't ignore your ex when they reach out to you.
You're the best, Coach Lee. Your videos give me so much comfort and so much valuable advice. I watch a few of your videos every morning. It helps me through the day. I thank you for that. You give me hope and hope is priceless and really all we have. Thank you, sir. Keep up the good work.
It is ridiculous to ignore your ex if you want them...no room for games in an honest and loving relationship. Have an open and honest heart. Build trust and positive interactions.
Michael Pimo Great! What you’re doing is working...I’d return her call! I just saw she said she called “accidentally?” Then I’d continue no contact- it’s working. Lay low....
Simple answer is NO. Ignoring is better. I ruined my chances by responding to him. I miss him very bad but all hope is now lost because I responded to him. I didnt initiate, only responded. Ultimately I wasnt healed enough and ruined it all. Take care of yourself, when you get emotionally neutral then engage.
after 21 days I texted by ex and he called right back to say he missed me and that he was thinking of calling me himself.. I wasn't ready to talk to him yet! I had been advised by a marriage and family therapist to just put my thoughts and feelings down on paper. I asked Jim if he'd be interested in reading it if I wrote one. He said he would and with on open mind. He also said he still needs "space" and I said that was fine. He is getting over a total knee operation and is also facing a shoulder operation. He feels less of a man and has always been very active. Now at 74 he is feeling his age and doesn't have a clear sense of his future physically or what he has to offer someone. He and I were married 50 years ago for one year after which he moved to Australia to start a new life. He lost his wife of 46 years 18 months ago then came back into my life only 6 months after that. It has been a long distance relationship just here and there. Our communication has not been good and things just sort of slid into oblivion with him ending things without a clear cut reason. I am hopeful that if I say everything that needs to be said it might make some difference in the long run. Any thoughts?
That is what I was thinking. They keep posting things directed to me but I’ve been ignoring them because I feel like I am worth more than a Facebook post. I want him to contact me not the other way around
Wow, just today my ex reached out to me and I responded. We've been separated about 3 weeks (9 weeks living apart) I was nice and happy, just like you say in your videos. I'm in no contact, after our chat I felt angry at myself for responding to her message, because I felt I should've ignored her. Thank goodness for THIS video, you've made me realise I did the right thing. God knows I've made every mistake possible the past few months since our breakdown. But thanks to your videos and others like it, it has helped give me the strength to get through. BTW, we've been together 23 years and have 3 children together. I'm hopeful we will successfully get back together real soon. However I am also of the view, we may not. But that's ok, despite not being what I really want. Acceptance is crucial, even if its not the perfect answer you're looking for.
38 days! My ex called me tonight and said she was thinking of me because she saw my mom. She said she wasn’t sure if I’d take her call. I was actually on the other line & shot her a text when I got off ... she called back ... we spoke for 40 minutes. Not sure what to think .. she knows damn well I do not accept friendship yet said “maybe we’ll see each other with the dogs “ me, to myself: No you won’t because I’ll be back in hiding mode! (I’m used to this tactic) back to NC I go .... wish I had Coach Lee on speed dial 😉
This is reassuring. Felt like i've been doing the wrong process since I reply to their messages. He texts me several times a day and I've always felt like im giving him a chance to walk away if i completely ignore, so I try to reply once in awhile. Thanks for the assurance coach.
my ex texted me a week ago saying that he hopes that i was doing okay. i didn't respond to that text until a couple of days ago but he still didn't reply back. i don't know if i ruined my chance, ugh...
Thank you! It’s such a confusing time. I seem to be living in a fog but you’ve just appeared and redirected me. Thank you for your honest and balanced advice and for giving me hope.
YOU did catch me. The other coach for the Art of Love says to NOT respond if it's NOT meaningful. What you say makes more sense. ANYONE that IS normal who messed up will FEEL out the situation BEFORE spilling their guts ESPECIALLY when they screwed up & have to eat crow!
Yeah my ex broke up with me via email in January, I ve been in no contact mode since....he called me three times and left a message to find out if I am ok and see how I am feeling this past week. I have zero intentions of responding.
I’m going through a divorce right now with my wife. I’ve begged, seemed desperate, said I’d do any to get her back. I’m so glad I came across this video. I’ve read many articles to get my wife back and they say “no contact” but in their meaning they mean “radio silence”. I’ve seen it plenty of times but now I understand that communication is key if my wife reaches out to me. Instead of ignoring her, I should just speak to her in the sense that I’m confident and moving forward just fine(while not trying to get her to come back). This video is very helpful. Please keep them up. Background on my wife, we’ve been together for 7+ years, no kids only dogs, I was her first love, we married young when I was in the military, sexual romance was great, love was great, everything was still practically just like the honeymoon stage, but when my wife would complain or nag, I would get upset thinking that she was just complaining to complain about something. I tried to keep calm and sometimes we would argue back but then when she’d put me down as a husband and man, I would snap any say some of the most disrespectful things to her. So yes, the main cause of her wanting to divorce is me verbally abusing her. I suffer from some mental issues from the military that makes me become agressive and angry when I feel like someone is putting me down. It’s a trigger for my flight or fight response. I’ve apologized to my wife and said I’d do anything to save us. I seek psychological services, but I told her I’ll go to counseling, anything, seek the lord together, anything but she is too hardened in her heart. I’m not sure what else to do but I will keep up the NC rule and not initiate calling or texting her. If anyone has some great advice or encouragement, I’d really appreciate it. If I’m her first love, she’d would be more inclined to come back right? Anyways, thank you for this video. Truly helps a lot. I
Best advice! Thank you for your videos. They've helped me tremendously. He started texting me every few days recently,, I've been in no contact 😉 but I always respond 🤗 shows I'm noble, friendly, courageous, and growing. Thank you Lee for everything!
I think it should depend on what they say. If it's a simple 'hello" or "I miss you" that shouldn't be enough to break no contact because maybe they're just temporarily missing you or just trying to see how easy you are to respond to them.
Murphdawg1 gaming exactly. People think just because they ex sends a one word text or how are you “doin” text which my ex sent a million times and me being a dumb ass not knowing it was crumbs and she only wanted a ego boost has caused me more pain then good, now I wished I would’ve ignored her ass everytime
Okay let’s be honest with ourselves. If an ex reaches out to you, it’s much more respectful and kind to respond. Of course you deserve more if it’s just a hey or how are you, but they’re first text will RARELY ever be I miss you. I love you. They could be trying to see where you’re at. You can be polite and respond and see where it goes. If your ex is really just breadcrumbing you then so be it. Would you rather ignore them and they never text you again or reply to them and have a little conversation? If those conversations don’t lead back to a relationship then fine. But at least you’re not asking yourself “what if I had responded??” You will get an answer either way if you respond. It’ll take a while for them to open up about their true feelings. In the end, if those conversations don’t lead to something that makes you happy THEN you can ignore them
I ignored her I wanted to reply I just idk how I was nervous idk what to do now I haven't heard from her now idk I lost her again I want her back now idk what to do it's been 2 days since she reached out and I ignored her idk what to do
@@anairaham idk she called me twice I didn't know she did I only realised afterwards I was shocked idk what to do I ignored her it's been a day now or 2 idk what to do it was so sudden she hasn't messaged or called me did I mess up
Question: what's the appropriate response if your ex just texts you "Happy Birthday"? Just because they care enough to send that message doesn't mean they're considering getting back together. Thanks for the great material Lee!
I did 2 weeks with no contact. He texted me this morning at 6am first he was angry , I waited a couple minutes to think of my reply and I responded calmy and collectively. He then asked me to go over to his house but I was getting ready for work. I explained to him that I was getting ready for work and he replied with the 'okay' then he told me to go outside and as I look out my glass door I see him hopping the fence and standing there waiting for me. I expected him I just didn't know when and it caught me off guard . Law of attraction works as long as you have absolute certainty. ❤️🙏Thank you universe.
I sent an email asking him to stay away for a while so i can heal before i started NC 2 weeks ago because he wanted to stay friends and texting me unsignificant stuff once a week or so (cat pics because i love cats... but no convo)... he s still no show since my email i plan on staying nc until he gives me a sign he misses me at least. I had done all the mistakes, pleaded and begged. Broke up 3 months ago... he told me it wasn t just a rough patch and we weren t getting back together. 6 years friendship on and off relationship LDR... Following your channel and taking notes now i wish i had found you sooner. i love your channel best you calm me down...so thank you so much coach Lee please keep up the good stuff. Love from France
@@ajaniel3824 Not bad bro😂 !!! After he is texting me now I decide I don't want him back. I prefer a clean and fresh start with someone else... There is only one way for me and that is forwards and not backwards. Good luck !
@@RealCoachLee @Coach Lee i badly need your advice. my ex reached out to me 3 days after he broked up with me/dumped me. 1st msg. He sent was he hopes for me to feel better then 2nd msg, he apologized for breaking my heart and told me he is hoping for me to find someone who would truly care and love me and someone that would never leave me like he did. He is hoping i would forgive him someday. I did not reply still. He sent me 3rd chat message the next day and asked me to forgive him. I did not reply still. Im honestly not sure what is the best response to his msgs. I want him back i want us back but clearly his message proves his decision to break up with me is firmed/final and that he only feels apologetic and he hopes for the best for me.please help me. Thank you Coach Lee
Every breakup is specific. If they break up with you for someone else and they were treating you like trash. No response for the insignificant texts. Period. My ex did so. She ghosted me for no reason while I was supporting her for her drama more than two years, she was faking future, liying to me, giving false hope and she finaly discarded me. So after months of no contact she sent me an "i love you" text, i ignored her. She has to bring a lot of efforts to get me to respond and more to get me taking her back. If she is humble ok if not i'm moving on with my stuff. I say no to breadcrumbs. I love my self enough to get back with someone who is manipulative.
I did NC for 1 week, then he messaged me that he still loves me, he wanna be with me, and fix our relationship...i responded that i will give him a chance then after 3 days he disappeared.
Sorry about it. He was just testing you your reaction. It was so cruel. Do no contact again and if he text or call stay no contact for weeks or months and if he truly loves you he will pursue you if not, sooner or later you’ll find someone who will love you with no games like this.
Bad advice, only respond if they say something substantial, make them work it.. You don't answer, just because they say things. Now they disappeared, you made it to easy
Thank you so much coach Lee, i found your video right on time. My boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago. he said that he doesnt want to lose our friendship this way, but he doesnt want relatioship. We have been texting each other every day after break up. But. Today I'm starting the *No contact* Maybe we will get back together and maybe not... we'll see👍
My ex reached out today after 3 days of no contact. Im glad that I've watched your video and now I know what to do. Thank you so much, you are so brilliant!
Honestly, It didn't work for me. being too available every time they reach out to you, it comforts them and relieves their anxiety. By responding every time, you give them the chance to get over their missing.
Well said coach Lee no contact is on your end but if she reaches out you respond I’m glad you made this video as last week she reach out for bill related issues and I spoke to friends and family about this and they all gave me the wrong advised which was to ignore her thank god I’ve not done such thing since the break up she knows the way back to me if she’s willing to do the indirect/direct approach I’m available and accesible but moving on as well
Please make that video on narcissistic personality in relationships/breakups, my ex turned out to be a covert narc and it was one of the most difficult things I've ever/still am going through. I'd love to hear your opinions and advice on said subject :)
it would pay to block them totally, it sucks but they will just hoover you every couple of weeks. you will be better off in the long run to duck and cover because they won't change.
I had a narc lawyer boy friend it took me everything in my power not to break a beer bottle and stab him in the neck..lol 3 years ago.. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.. SOCIOPATHIC,!! narcs it's best to go cold Turkey. They want supply they are not fit for relationships. Until the get help even then they like to gaslight. Not worth it to me.
Lol, it’s funny that you brought up Narcissism in this video as well, because I feel it changes everything once you’ve realized your dealing with an undiagnosed Narcissist. This is why I say there are outliers to ignoring an ex because if you were the one begging, pleading, and doing everything possible to save your marriage or relationship yet they were only looking to fulfill their own needs and wants, then you have to realize the only way you’re going to survive against them is ignoring them . Also, if an ex messages you, “Hey I miss you, let’s talk about working this out to rebuild a new relationship together” then I’d say reach out and set up a time to meet and speak with them. But if you were me and you received a message from an ex saying, “Hi, I was thinking of the dogs and wanted to see how they were doing?” then there’s no reason you should respond to a message like that. If they can’t even acknowledge you and still treat you as if you’re insignificant to them, why would you lower you self-respect and respond to them? You wouldn’t or else you’d be seen as a doormat and weak . I do believe this topic should be hit on again because there are times when you have no other choice than to ignore your ex, to heal, to put all your energy into yourself, and to move on with your life especially if your ex is moving on and dating other people. You must save your dignity and self-worth and move forward in your life whether they’re Narcissistic or not.
I want to thank you.. I started the no contact. And on my 1st day he messaged me and i responded casually. And on day 3 we are talking about us and the way forward and we are ok. I have my baby back. We have been broken up for less then a week. It really works guys.
Before i started no contact i was messaging him constantly and i got no response.. So i then applied the no contact rule and he reached out to me towards the end of the day.. So it orobably bothered him that i waznt messaging gim at all. After that i dodnt hear from him again. Till the 3rd day when he reached out to me again and we got back together.... But we are no longer together and mainly by choice. But i also dont regret tge srcond chance cos now i know that we're just not for each other.
I wrote to him because I honestly got worried, not in a romantic way. He told me that he was happy to hear from me. I believe he feared to call me. Anyway, we have seen each other and just living day by day. No rush. Give him his space. Let's see what happens. Love you Coach Lee for your help.
Coach Lee is a business man amd does sell his content, but he is absolutely genuine and thays a lost art in tje coaching community!!! He's as right as rain people!! This man absolutely t totally knows his shit!!! He's a consumate professional, with 2 decades of real world experience!!! Listen amd follow his advice to the letter folks, if you want the correct outcome!! If you're not gonna follow his advice to the letter, then why waste your time?!!!
Thanks a lot for the video. After watching it, I broke my no-contact yesterday by reaching out to my ex and told her I was really sorry for ignoring her and that I was open to listen to what she had to say. Although she was nice, I'm sure she was angry that I had ignored her, but it seemed like she appriciate my apology. Now I'm back to no-contact again, wondering what the future brings...
@@SJ-nw1ym, thanks for asking. I tried fixing the damage during the next month, but she stayed distanced and cold. Now it has been more than three months since I've contacted her. However, after one month of no-contact, two months ago, I've lost intrest in her. I wish her all the best...
@@AmirSuperTube I'm really happy for you that you got your closure. I wish you very best for your future ❤️ I hope that everything goes well for you xx
Fantastic!!! My ex contacted twice me after 3 weeks of breakup. I ignored him both times. I started thinking about what to do.. thank god you posted this it helped me decide what to do and it felt right to respond. Thank you Coach Lee. Your the tits!!
Thanks alot. My mind froze when I got a text back in the morning. I'm extremely vulnerable as I've been a jerk to her 😅 and blocked her. I reached out to her and she responded she's doing pretty good and thanks for your concern. It's good to have a guide what to say and what not say after. I'm gonna 10:20 in the morning
no contact really works..my ex started to contact me @day 3..i just wanted to express how much I appreciate all of your amazing help and guidance. I hope you realize that you truly give the best advice. You really are the greatest. Thank you coach lee🙏🙏
How do you tell the difference between someone just being polite or out of guilt/ wanting to do the “right” thing (I’m thinking the person might just send a “Merry Christmas” text) versus a “sign” that they might want to reconsider their breakup?
After 4 days she contacted me, tried calling 2x, and left a text saying call me. I called back about 9hrs later, I probably would have let the call go. But we have a kid together so I have to make sure it's not about that. She wanted $300 to help get into a place and I said sorry I can't, if our child needs something. That I'll be fine with, but I'm not helping you financially.
He reached out not to get back but to explain why he did ended things and why he did it over the phone. Twice he asked to be friends. I don't want to be friends. I'm not sure what to do.
He just wrote to me “how are you doing?” after 2 months of silence. I’m confused, I don’t know how to answer. I’m still missing him very much. I’ll try to keep it casual hoping he will keep on talking.
I dated a girl for 4 months, I loved her I really did. I gave my best in the relationship, she took it for granted, she didn't appreciate it. Now I have 10 messages and 5 missed calls
Thanks coach Lee, tonight my ex just texted me during NC and I did respond in polite way, before this I think I want to ignore him if he feel the suffer but after take your advice we did have funny and no serious topics at all, he came to me to recall our sweetest memories together which I thought he is cruel one but actually NOT, thank you so much and wondering if I ignored him tonight it will leads to make unnecessary drama..i want to say goodbye to painful tears that I had this evening.. So many good things to tell, thank you very much Sir💙
Coach Lee, I didn't respond one time. After a month of me moving Forward he sends Happy Mother's Day! You mean to tell me he can't call or text again with REAL communication?? I need to respond to a Man who is FOR ME. Who has Respect for me. Who is not perfect and is willing to be accountable for his actions. Not feel at any point they will abandon me and treat me like a sexual OPTION. Why would you want to Marry me then treat me so unfeeling. Then text like I suppose to jump out my seat? And I hate that. A person like that is saying to me your Feelings, hurt, anger, means Nothing to me so let me text and say Hi with NO account to what happened. NO. That's selfish and Rude. And I don't feel that was Real contact. He uses special days to contact to give him a "Reason". Just checking my temperature. No apology. No acknowledgement of my feelings. Otherwise YES, I would have Responded. I felt like it was a slap in my Face. I want to feel appreciated by someone who CARES. Someome who wants my trust and respect. Someone who values me. Someone who Values me in their Life. And right now he acts like he doesn't. He knows how to talk to me. I can't be the one to bridge the gap all the time and that's what he EXPECTS. THIS is his MO. He does this and then we get chummy and he disappears. I suggest we meet and he ghosts. I will not go through that again. If he wants to say more. Then SAY IT. Otherwise, I won't. It's been 2 months. If he had something to say. He would be saying it.
But, what do you do when they text looking to argue or start a fight to make you apologize and blame you for not being available for them? You reply but keep everything calm and imply that you are busy. Or do you wait for a text with the intention of casually speak or fix things? I'm willing to speak when I see her more calm and with intentions of starting a healthy conversation, but I'm not sure on what to do if they are looking to argue if we left everything clear. I know that her rebound is not working and she is looking for some attention that she is not getting. So she is frustrated because I'm not there for her.. I know this is good in a way, but do I reply to show that I care but at the same time not giving them all my time and attention?
I answered my ex after he reached out after four days with the most basic speech ever. Just, I love you, will you take me back. No asking to talk, just jumping straight to getting back together. No apology, no talk about what can change to make things better. I don't know why he bothered. I said, nothing has changed, I cant go back to you with how you currently treat me and bid him goodbye. Them coming back doesn't always mean that things are gonna be better
Glad I found this video. On second day of NC he reached out saying " I hope you are fine etc". I simply told him "thanks, you too". Did not expect him to reach out but I will keep the contact cool and short for now.
@@mexxxtentacion5457 NC worked... we re-connected and it seemed like everything would be ok again, then he hurt me and I decided to not contineu. Working on moving on right now. 😅
Well, I responded in the all the correct ways. Didn’t push the conversation, kept it cheerful. It had only been 8 days of actual NC. She proceeded to contact everyday 5 days straight. I flirted with her, had her laughing. It was good. She even happened to be driving by when I was working out in a field. She stopped, we had one of the biggest hugs in forever. On the 5th day I get the call she wants to see me on her way home. We meet, end up kissing some. All the signs were there she was coming back...then she goes distant for a couple days and I get the “I just can’t” conversation. I should have guarded my heart but I was just so ready to work this out. Now I feel more broken than before. I just wish she never would have contacted unless she was 💯 ready. Back to NC and I don’t know if I could ever get over what just happened. I wish everyone on here the best and stay strong!
Man am so glad I watched your video coach Lee.. coz just before your video I’ve watched other relationship coaches who sod that I should ignore my ex’s calls o msgs if she reaches out to me.. It didn’t make any sense to me and am so glad that you explained it to me and made me feel right about this .. I really appreciate you coach Lee.
NO CONTACT WORKS!! I chased my ex, she left me, for 4 weeks i chased her, then i gave up. I went no contact...9 days later she has reached out to me and told me she is missing me. Not getting my hopes up but need to think about my response!
My problem is slightly different in that my ex can't go three days without messaging me! Usually random, funny memes that I am sure she is sending as a 'group message', but I feel obliged to respond to. We seem to go round in circles - we reach a point where we are getting along really well, yet when I suggest getting together, she backs away. I go into no contact, then she reaches out after two or three days. I really feel that I WANT the silence to last longer, in order for her to experience the void!....... I don't want to just flatly ignore her messages, but at the same time I am getting nowhere by responding!
The thing is that she reached out, but the way she reached does not deserve a respond. She is trying to manipulate me and saying that ''You made a fake ac on Instagram'' etc, ect. Even tho I really want her back, why should i bother responding when she is saying that
Coach lee, are you able to make marriage/separation/divorce videos please? Some topics -Steps to take during separation -How to get back ex wife especially when it comes to long marriages -If you were your ex spouses first love -How to cope with divorce -Does having pets during a relationship help ex’s come back. -Is the grass greener on the other side of divorce or not -Christian spouces divorcing without infidelity existing. These are just random things I’ve thought about during my divorce process.
No need to ignore them,,just ans them politely and dnt act so needy. Make them realize that ur life was more easier without them and u are happy. Let them call you but not you.
I just recently started talking to my ex....we work together so I only talk about work related stuff. She tries to joke with me....i just chuckle. I never will talk about us unless she brings it up....
I love the way you communicate without all the advertising and at least if you do do it it's at the end when people and calm and quite happy to hear it. My ex contacts me every few days the last one was to see how my plumbing in the bathroom was but it's nothing more than that I just reply but continue on other than that as if it is still no contact I don't talk about what new is happening in my life or ask questions in return other than I hope you're well
After 24 days of NC my ex sent me a text to congratulate me on finishing remodeling my condo and she was wondering how the remodel was going. I waited several hours and simply replied "thanks". She is in another relationship so I am hoping I handled myself well.
Hi Coach, my ex and I broke up January this year due to religious differences. The last time I hang out with him was February. We didn’t really talk much and went into NC until June, then I reached out to him in email, found out he moved to Washington but didn’t tell me. I told him I wanted to meet with him to tell him somethings before he moved and was disappointed that you didn’t tell me you were moving away. He said things were hectic during the move, but then he said he’ll be back in December to visit his parents, but nothing about coming to see me. Five days ago, he sent an email saying “I’m planning to be back in California Christmas week.” I’m not sure to respond by saying “Ok” “Ok what’s going on? Why contacting me now”?? No response until he really wants to meet and catch up
Hi, Lee! Thank you for all the support and guiding! I have a question. What if the only time my ex reached out was at 2am on Friday (probably drunk) and I didn’t pick up? He woke me up with that call, so I muted it and dropped the next call he made after that. I had to work on the next day, so I was irritated and didn’t want to listen to possibly drunk messages. That was at around 30 days of no contact and now it’s a week after and nothing happened. What to expect?
It probably means you are the last option he could have had for a bang since he has exhausted every other possibilities outside . . I'm no coach. I'm just a synical dick
I think some of what you say makes people betray themselves. In a few of your videos you said the only time you can contact your ex is when you want to say you accept their decision. People like me who were vulnerable at that time and hoping, used a message like that for hope. But in my experience it made me feel worse, not only did the person not come back but I feel like I betrayed myself for doing that. My usual action would have been no action and just accepted it, theres strength in being able to show you can walk away and show the person you dont need them. It already feels horrible when someone pushes you away, you shouldn't be giving advice saying to those people send one last message! You'll make that person feel even worse, like their ex thinks of them as a loser now, e.g., they wernt nice to you and now youre apologising accepting their decision?! Can you see how that advice can make someone feel bad and like they've betrayed themselves. You need to think about the advice youre giving to people when theyre vulnerable.
Most coaches come off as a seller. Lee gives honest and professional advice. Ive listened to him over and over. Whatever it takes to get your mind right.
So true
What about if my ex go away with my valuable things what will I do ? Stay in no contact or what ?
So, true, the way he talks, and eye contact you, is as if he is piercing your heart with his words.
I ain't going to lie, I use to listen to others but from I started listening to Coach Lee, am sold
@@simonemathew4422 I just ordered his kit online now waiting for it in the mail
I’m in a strange situation..
My ex wants to be friends but I told her no, we are worth more than that. I’ve gone into NC.
I’m letting her contact me. BUT She texts me almost EVERYDAY, wishing me a good day, checking up on me, watching my stories, liking pics that I post and I never reach out! But I can’t help but debate wether I should still keep doing this?
How can I make her miss me and go no contact when she reaches out EVERY DAY?
I didn't choose no contact. NO CONTACT chose me. 🤣
Hahaha so much wisdom:)))))
@@sofiandi6117 Long story short, no contact chose you, could be because she never really cared much about you. There are women like that. I'm putting it to the test, will get rid of my number and messenger, and if she really cares, she'll look for me. She has me blocked, best option for me, with her thinking she is now with the love of her life. His advice is good for most people. She'll contact me if she doesn't have money for smokes and tampons, not much of a person I want contacting me before they clean up and grow up. If I let her contact me now, she would just lie to me and waste my time.
Same😂
You didn't get the No contact you deserved but you got the No contact that you needed....
Result?
I’m just tired of being hurt.
Don't settle for less. Understand you're value!!
Welcome to the club.. not change yourself and get out of here..
Me to king..me to
Feel ya bro...
I feel you.
This man is GOD...
My ex dumped me... n i started no contact rule the next day itself..after watching coach lee's video
Today is the 17th day of no contact.. n he texted me saying that i miss you.. n how much he misses me .. my smile... everything...
Guys believe in no contact.. coach lee is the perfect guide..
How did you respond to him saying he misses you?
What happened
It works on bfs 100%..but 50% chances on gfs!
@@prembrolystalin1375 agreed. My hoe ex is a complete whore... And she is getting the whores remorse. Even the guy she was trying to get with in a relationship is ditching her . .. how pathetic a guy is denying her to be more than a hook-up.
@@stealthassulter @Sam Hines my ex broke off with me after 2.5 yrs saying he wants to be single. He is 21 I'm 24. He reached today after two weeks called I didn't pick up and msgd hey how r u just wanted to have a casual chat. I didn't reply cz I don't think he wants to get back together as yest he met a friend and said he wants to stay single but wants me as a friend. What do I do? I want to be back with him but don't want him to know.
I totally Agree on this. My Ex Reached Out to Me After 2 weeks of no contact. I responded to Him just very Short and Polite. Now he wants to see me and talk things out. This Really worked thank you.
my ex texted me a week ago & i ignored the text until i responded back a couple of days ago, but he didn't respond back. i'm getting anxious & overwhelmed that i actually ruined my chance....
@@blackvelvet298 What happened?
@Ken Hession8 I think she probably worked that out on her own...
Same here, except he reaches out every 3 to 4 days.
If they move on... They were not for you....
Exactly
And you also werent for them otherwise they would have picked you and not someone else
I literally have you in my headphones and listen to your videos and advice all day to keep me going. I love your advice. Straight to the point and logical; there is no one else on youtube I could listen to for so long expect you. Love the videos 🙏🏼
saaaame!
No contact do work. I honestly did not think I was gonna hear so soon. I'm not reading anything into this right now. I feel he needs to miss me for a while.
Well my ex girlfriend only reaches out when she wants to text about her life and troubles. I think I'm doing the right thing by not responding.
Kyle Morgan Good. Don’t be an emotional tampon.
@@Brotho89 amen
That's someone to let go, IMHO.
Respond will love and care. Not romantically, obviously, but to show you care.
You are. But I would take it further and say something like, ‘please respect my boundaries to move on - do not contact me again unless it’s because you Are interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with me, thanks’. Put the ball in her court and do not answer all other responses outside of an attempt to get back together (assuming you even want her back / she is worth it!).
How important is this video. Amazing. What u say makes sense. No contact should not include not responding. But maybe we should make them work a bit harder before we give all our affections away again. Relationships are tricky these days.
I agree w/ u on this. It makes no sense to ignore ur ex when they reach out.
That IS the whole point of no contact to regain control of ourselves and allow time and space to get them to reach out. When they do if u still are interested it only makes sense to respond.
This video is a breath of fresh air bc ur right others say otherwise and it just doesn't make sense as they will give up for good.
Thank u for sharing~
🙏🏻💗🙂🙌🏻✨✌🏻
But i think it still depends on what kind of message they send u. If u reply to something super casual they would feel that they haven't lost u and they could get to u whenever they want
Derivative Covariant exactly. People think just because they ex sends a one word text or how are you “doin” text which my ex sent a million times and me being a dumb ass not knowing it was crumbs and she only wanted a ego boost has caused me more pain then good, I wished I would’ve ignored her a lot more.
Well said
Guys respond after 2-3 hours to show that you are busy with your life.
ChrisSoCalm that will make her think he doesnt want her so she will try to move on so I wouldn’t do that tbh speaking as a female I dont know if everyone is like this but I’m sure some are
Azazel AGREED!!
Meh 1.5 hours is fine for me 😉
For sure😂
Maybe a day to make her wonder,miss and crave you even more👌
Coach Lee, you are a hero. Your advice is practical and always accurate.
I agree!
The guy is a legend
After a week of no contact, he messaged me. Thank you.
did it work out to you, it seems too short for only a week.
Black Vortex yeah it seems too short but we’re kinda on good terms so maybe thats why. we didn’t get back together tho and It is the best decision ever. We’re both in a happy relationships now. Good luck!
It's all making sense. When your Ex broke up with you, the ball was in her court. When she reaches out to you, the ball is in your court.
So I did the no contact for 3 months he reached out and said “ I want my bestfriend back “ you were the only person who was always there for me even when I didn’t want you to be , ever since we broke up there’s not a day that goes by. I don’t think about you ....” I didn’t tell him I missed him at all I just said well if you need a friend I’m here always said I’d be here when you need a friend to speak to he said I know but I thought you hated me .. I said hurt and disappointed yeah hate you ? There’s no hatred in my heart.
He’s been contacting me everyday expect today which is weird but I haven’t reached out to first ... I learned to not attached and learned my power so if he doesn’t reach out to me again 🤷🏻♀️ oh well I was good for three months so. I feel amazing lol
I like this response over a petty dumb one. It's real and genuine.
As Coach Lee says, don't accept a lowball offer of friendship if its not what you want.
I would have texted back "I want my lover back".
I hear a lot of coaches saying "ignore your ex" until that second urgent message.
My ex just reached out a week later saying " Hey i just wanted to see how you were doing and hope all is well"
I did respond the same " Im good, and Hope all is well with you"
Did not ask anything really direct or something to really really respond to and she didnt respond and im not sending any double text... Be the bigger person without chasing playing a game and if they dont come back around you know you did your part
With all do respect to Coach Lee, I dont fear rejection. Sometimes, no contact should NEVER be broken.
I agree. I usually tell people it’s best if you never reach out first after they dumped you. Some people choose to reach out when they believe they have nothing to lose and are going to move on if there’s no response. People make their own decisions.
So my ex reached out, I responded....ignored and waited 14 days to respond....now what? It breadcrumbing. What if they are reaching out just to see if they have access to you?
With this specific video, you're the kind of coach most suitable to me. We are civilized and matured people, I don't think it's a good idea to completely ignore our ex even if we are in a no contact rule.
I got my ex back, Thanks!
If they have an attitude there's no reason to respond oh so you're not talking to me now is not a reason to respond
I eventually stopped responding to the rare texts from my ex. It never went anywhere. He was just reaching out to see how I was doing, then to disappear yet again. No interest in anything else. So, he was getting the benefit of my response whenever it was good for him, for his ego boost that I would respond to him each time. The last time he sent a text- I just never responded. Literally no point anymore. He moved on long ago. I need to move on with zero contact both ways. Now I know I’ll never hear from him again, and I’ll never ever contact him.
Well I’m a guy but same for me I can’t deal with it anymore. She don’t wanna talk to me I’m done period
This guy is right don’t ignore they will give up and move on
Please do not ignore your exboyfriend when they reach out to you. Coach Lee, you are so right. If you keep on ignoring your exboyfriend, the outcome will not be good, so PLEASE don't ignore your ex when they reach out to you.
You're the best, Coach Lee. Your videos give me so much comfort and so much valuable advice. I watch a few of your videos every morning. It helps me through the day. I thank you for that. You give me hope and hope is priceless and really all we have. Thank you, sir. Keep up the good work.
Day after day convinced that coach Lee is the best coach ever.
It is ridiculous to ignore your ex if you want them...no room for games in an honest and loving relationship. Have an open and honest heart. Build trust and positive interactions.
This happened today, help me out please!!
I texted her if she called on accident then she said it was an accident. What do I do now
Yes sure "an accident call" live your life until she reach out to you
Petros Giorgallis yea that’s what I thought, I didn’t respond to her when she said it
Michael Pimo Great! What you’re doing is working...I’d return her call! I just saw she said she called “accidentally?” Then I’d continue no contact- it’s working. Lay low....
Simple answer is NO. Ignoring is better. I ruined my chances by responding to him. I miss him very bad but all hope is now lost because I responded to him. I didnt initiate, only responded. Ultimately I wasnt healed enough and ruined it all. Take care of yourself, when you get emotionally neutral then engage.
In some cases, if the ex was selfish and confusing, giving them hurt, pain and anxiety by ignoring will get them to act right and learn the lesson.
after 21 days I texted by ex and he called right back to say he missed me and that he was thinking of calling me himself.. I wasn't ready to talk to him yet! I had been advised by a marriage and family therapist to just put my thoughts and feelings down on paper. I asked Jim if he'd be interested in reading it if I wrote one. He said he would and with on open mind. He also said he still needs "space" and I said that was fine. He is getting over a total knee operation and is also facing a shoulder operation. He feels less of a man and has always been very active. Now at 74 he is feeling his age and doesn't have a clear sense of his future physically or what he has to offer someone. He and I were married 50 years ago for one year after which he moved to Australia to start a new life. He lost his wife of 46 years 18 months ago then came back into my life only 6 months after that. It has been a long distance relationship just here and there. Our communication has not been good and things just sort of slid into oblivion with him ending things without a clear cut reason. I am hopeful that if I say everything that needs to be said it might make some difference in the long run.
Any thoughts?
Dont fall for bread crumbs they make it easier for the dunper to move on also dont respond tooo soon because u r not a backup and they need to kno!
adushman1984 would subtle indirect contact via social media be considered a bread crumb?
CupCakelynn007 YES DONT FALL FOR IT U WANT UR EX TO SAY SOMETHING WORTH WHILE BEFORE U RESPOND OR THEY WILL GET THEIR FIX OF U AND DISAPPEAR!!
CupCakelynn007 they will contact u for real if u had a good long relationship
That is what I was thinking. They keep posting things directed to me but I’ve been ignoring them because I feel like I am worth more than a Facebook post. I want him to contact me not the other way around
CupCakelynn007 IT WILL HAPPEN. LEAVE A COMMENT WHEN IT DOES. MY EX SENT ME A LONG SORRY LETTER.. AND SHE CHEATED ON ME AND BROKE UP WITH ME.
Wow, just today my ex reached out to me and I responded. We've been separated about 3 weeks (9 weeks living apart) I was nice and happy, just like you say in your videos.
I'm in no contact, after our chat I felt angry at myself for responding to her message, because I felt I should've ignored her. Thank goodness for THIS video, you've made me realise I did the right thing.
God knows I've made every mistake possible the past few months since our breakdown. But thanks to your videos and others like it, it has helped give me the strength to get through.
BTW, we've been together 23 years and have 3 children together. I'm hopeful we will successfully get back together real soon. However I am also of the view, we may not. But that's ok, despite not being what I really want.
Acceptance is crucial, even if its not the perfect answer you're looking for.
Hey what's the update with your story ?
38 days! My ex called me tonight and said she was thinking of me because she saw my mom. She said she wasn’t sure if I’d take her call. I was actually on the other line & shot her a text when I got off ... she called back ... we spoke for 40 minutes. Not sure what to think .. she knows damn well I do not accept friendship yet said “maybe we’ll see each other with the dogs “ me, to myself: No you won’t because I’ll be back in hiding mode! (I’m used to this tactic) back to NC I go .... wish I had Coach Lee on speed dial 😉
No contact.. really works
This is reassuring. Felt like i've been doing the wrong process since I reply to their messages. He texts me several times a day and I've always felt like im giving him a chance to walk away if i completely ignore, so I try to reply once in awhile. Thanks for the assurance coach.
my ex texted me a week ago saying that he hopes that i was doing okay. i didn't respond to that text until a couple of days ago but he still didn't reply back. i don't know if i ruined my chance, ugh...
Update
@@blackvelvet298 update
@blackvelvet update please
Thank you! It’s such a confusing time. I seem to be living in a fog but you’ve just appeared and redirected me. Thank you for your honest and balanced advice and for giving me hope.
YOU did catch me. The other coach for the Art of Love says to NOT respond if it's NOT meaningful. What you say makes more sense. ANYONE that IS normal who messed up will FEEL out the situation BEFORE spilling their guts ESPECIALLY when they screwed up & have to eat crow!
you should put a disclaimer : do not listen to this if you have been cheated on
Yeah my ex broke up with me via email in January, I ve been in no contact mode since....he called me three times and left a message to find out if I am ok and see how I am feeling this past week. I have zero intentions of responding.
I’m going through a divorce right now with my wife. I’ve begged, seemed desperate, said I’d do any to get her back. I’m so glad I came across this video. I’ve read many articles to get my wife back and they say “no contact” but in their meaning they mean “radio silence”. I’ve seen it plenty of times but now I understand that communication is key if my wife reaches out to me. Instead of ignoring her, I should just speak to her in the sense that I’m confident and moving forward just fine(while not trying to get her to come back). This video is very helpful. Please keep them up.
Background on my wife, we’ve been together for 7+ years, no kids only dogs, I was her first love, we married young when I was in the military, sexual romance was great, love was great, everything was still practically just like the honeymoon stage, but when my wife would complain or nag, I would get upset thinking that she was just complaining to complain about something. I tried to keep calm and sometimes we would argue back but then when she’d put me down as a husband and man, I would snap any say some of the most disrespectful things to her. So yes, the main cause of her wanting to divorce is me verbally abusing her.
I suffer from some mental issues from the military that makes me become agressive and angry when I feel like someone is putting me down. It’s a trigger for my flight or fight response. I’ve apologized to my wife and said I’d do anything to save us. I seek psychological services, but I told her I’ll go to counseling, anything, seek the lord together, anything but she is too hardened in her heart.
I’m not sure what else to do but I will keep up the NC rule and not initiate calling or texting her.
If anyone has some great advice or encouragement, I’d really appreciate it. If I’m her first love, she’d would be more inclined to come back right?
Anyways, thank you for this video. Truly helps a lot.
I
Hey man, I hope all worked out. Any news?
Best advice! Thank you for your videos. They've helped me tremendously. He started texting me every few days recently,, I've been in no contact 😉 but I always respond 🤗 shows I'm noble, friendly, courageous, and growing. Thank you Lee for everything!
Did you become a couple again
I think it should depend on what they say. If it's a simple 'hello" or "I miss you" that shouldn't be enough to break no contact because maybe they're just temporarily missing you or just trying to see how easy you are to respond to them.
Murphdawg1 gaming exactly. People think just because they ex sends a one word text or how are you “doin” text which my ex sent a million times and me being a dumb ass not knowing it was crumbs and she only wanted a ego boost has caused me more pain then good, now I wished I would’ve ignored her ass everytime
They won't reach out ever again if you ignore your ex.
It’s all about how you respond.
You can respond, just don’t break your neck to respond immediately.
Okay let’s be honest with ourselves. If an ex reaches out to you, it’s much more respectful and kind to respond. Of course you deserve more if it’s just a hey or how are you, but they’re first text will RARELY ever be I miss you. I love you. They could be trying to see where you’re at. You can be polite and respond and see where it goes. If your ex is really just breadcrumbing you then so be it. Would you rather ignore them and they never text you again or reply to them and have a little conversation? If those conversations don’t lead back to a relationship then fine. But at least you’re not asking yourself “what if I had responded??” You will get an answer either way if you respond. It’ll take a while for them to open up about their true feelings. In the end, if those conversations don’t lead to something that makes you happy THEN you can ignore them
I ignored her I wanted to reply I just idk how I was nervous idk what to do now I haven't heard from her now idk I lost her again I want her back now idk what to do it's been 2 days since she reached out and I ignored her idk what to do
@@Tyro2549 did she say anything important?
@@anairaham idk she called me twice I didn't know she did I only realised afterwards I was shocked idk what to do I ignored her it's been a day now or 2 idk what to do it was so sudden she hasn't messaged or called me did I mess up
@@anairaham Cause if I did welp I'm heartbroken again for messing up idk what to do I want her back but idk how
@@Tyro2549 did she reach out again?
Question: what's the appropriate response if your ex just texts you "Happy Birthday"? Just because they care enough to send that message doesn't mean they're considering getting back together. Thanks for the great material Lee!
Just say, “Thank you.”
My ex texted merry christmas
@@RealCoachLee Hell Yeah, That's the answer I was looking for lol
I did 2 weeks with no contact. He texted me this morning at 6am first he was angry , I waited a couple minutes to think of my reply and I responded calmy and collectively. He then asked me to go over to his house but I was getting ready for work. I explained to him that I was getting ready for work and he replied with the 'okay' then he told me to go outside and as I look out my glass door I see him hopping the fence and standing there waiting for me. I expected him I just didn't know when and it caught me off guard . Law of attraction works as long as you have absolute certainty. ❤️🙏Thank you universe.
thanks Lee for your encouragement
it can be difficult to stay positive
im also standing on Faith to
and focus myself
keep the videos coming : )
I sent an email asking him to stay away for a while so i can heal before i started NC 2 weeks ago because he wanted to stay friends and texting me unsignificant stuff once a week or so (cat pics because i love cats... but no convo)... he s still no show since my email i plan on staying nc until he gives me a sign he misses me at least. I had done all the mistakes, pleaded and begged. Broke up 3 months ago... he told me it wasn t just a rough patch and we weren t getting back together. 6 years friendship on and off relationship LDR... Following your channel and taking notes now i wish i had found you sooner. i love your channel best you calm me down...so thank you so much coach Lee please keep up the good stuff. Love from France
2 days in to No Contact and I received a text from her “are you okay?” sounds like she’s thinking about me.
Sounds like it!
Wow.. Me too! after 2 days he just texted me the same 😂😂
Candy D After 1 month of NC, she texted me Saturday and we hooked up. I am on going to her place again tonight! 😂
@@ajaniel3824 Not bad bro😂 !!! After he is texting me now I decide I don't want him back. I prefer a clean and fresh start with someone else... There is only one way for me and that is forwards and not backwards. Good luck !
@@RealCoachLee @Coach Lee i badly need your advice. my ex reached out to me 3 days after he broked up with me/dumped me. 1st msg. He sent was he hopes for me to feel better then 2nd msg, he apologized for breaking my heart and told me he is hoping for me to find someone who would truly care and love me and someone that would never leave me like he did. He is hoping i would forgive him someday. I did not reply still. He sent me 3rd chat message the next day and asked me to forgive him. I did not reply still. Im honestly not sure what is the best response to his msgs. I want him back i want us back but clearly his message proves his decision to break up with me is firmed/final and that he only feels apologetic and he hopes for the best for me.please help me. Thank you Coach Lee
Every breakup is specific. If they break up with you for someone else and they were treating you like trash. No response for the insignificant texts. Period. My ex did so. She ghosted me for no reason while I was supporting her for her drama more than two years, she was faking future, liying to me, giving false hope and she finaly discarded me. So after months of no contact she sent me an "i love you" text, i ignored her. She has to bring a lot of efforts to get me to respond and more to get me taking her back. If she is humble ok if not i'm moving on with my stuff. I say no to breadcrumbs. I love my self enough to get back with someone who is manipulative.
Thanks for your response. But i feel that i don't her back in my life.
I did NC for 1 week, then he messaged me that he still loves me, he wanna be with me, and fix our relationship...i responded that i will give him a chance then after 3 days he disappeared.
This is horrible advice. Stick to the No contact sweetie.
Sorry about it. He was just testing you your reaction. It was so cruel. Do no contact again and if he text or call stay no contact for weeks or months and if he truly loves you he will pursue you if not, sooner or later you’ll find someone who will love you with no games like this.
Bad advice, only respond if they say something substantial, make them work it.. You don't answer, just because they say things. Now they disappeared, you made it to easy
run away from him girl, run away
You shouldn’t have came back that fast, you should have made him try harder
This video is just what I needed just at the right time.
Thank you so much coach Lee, i found your video right on time.
My boyfriend broke up with me 4 days ago. he said that he doesnt want to lose our friendship this way, but he doesnt want relatioship. We have been texting each other every day after break up.
But. Today I'm starting the *No contact*
Maybe we will get back together and maybe not... we'll see👍
Samw
When they’re reaching out to you, they tell you to take them back only to realize they will break up with you again.
During no contact you also get to reflect on if you are better off than you were with your. Give yourself that time.
My ex did context me by text after 29 days of nc, it works. Keep the faith 😍
My ex trying to contact me. After 18 days
My ex didn’t even last 4 days
3 months running. I hear the new guy is ditching the ex for a commitment. Now I feel ridiculous for even taking this person seriously.
My ex reached out today after 3 days of no contact. Im glad that I've watched your video and now I know what to do. Thank you so much, you are so brilliant!
What did you say? I’m in the same boat
Are you back together?
Honestly, It didn't work for me. being too available every time they reach out to you, it comforts them and relieves their anxiety. By responding every time, you give them the chance to get over their missing.
Well said coach Lee no contact is on your end but if she reaches out you respond I’m glad you made this video as last week she reach out for bill related issues and I spoke to friends and family about this and they all gave me the wrong advised which was to ignore her thank god I’ve not done such thing since the break up she knows the way back to me if she’s willing to do the indirect/direct approach I’m available and accesible but moving on as well
bro i think you got played, she just contacted you for the money
Please make that video on narcissistic personality in relationships/breakups, my ex turned out to be a covert narc and it was one of the most difficult things I've ever/still am going through. I'd love to hear your opinions and advice on said subject :)
it would pay to block them totally, it sucks but they will just hoover you every couple of weeks. you will be better off in the long run to duck and cover because they won't change.
Brittaanaay look up ‘Knowing the Narcissist’ . He’s a Greater Narc and puts out the most informative videos out there.
Btriaanaay, there are some really good narc videos out there.. Angie Atkinson, Sarah Speaks, Assc Direct.
I had a narc lawyer boy friend it took me everything in my power not to break a beer bottle and stab him in the neck..lol 3 years ago.. RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN.. SOCIOPATHIC,!! narcs it's best to go cold Turkey. They want supply they are not fit for relationships. Until the get help even then they like to gaslight. Not worth it to me.
Narcissists and sociopaths are totally different things.
Lol, it’s funny that you brought up Narcissism in this video as well, because I feel it changes everything once you’ve realized your dealing with an undiagnosed Narcissist. This is why I say there are outliers to ignoring an ex because if you were the one begging, pleading, and doing everything possible to save your marriage or relationship yet they were only looking to fulfill their own needs and wants, then you have to realize the only way you’re going to survive against them is ignoring them
.
Also, if an ex messages you, “Hey I miss you, let’s talk about working this out to rebuild a new relationship together” then I’d say reach out and set up a time to meet and speak with them. But if you were me and you received a message from an ex saying, “Hi, I was thinking of the dogs and wanted to see how they were doing?” then there’s no reason you should respond to a message like that. If they can’t even acknowledge you and still treat you as if you’re insignificant to them, why would you lower you self-respect and respond to them? You wouldn’t or else you’d be seen as a doormat and weak
.
I do believe this topic should be hit on again because there are times when you have no other choice than to ignore your ex, to heal, to put all your energy into yourself, and to move on with your life especially if your ex is moving on and dating other people. You must save your dignity and self-worth and move forward in your life whether they’re Narcissistic or not.
I want to thank you.. I started the no contact. And on my 1st day he messaged me and i responded casually. And on day 3 we are talking about us and the way forward and we are ok. I have my baby back. We have been broken up for less then a week. It really works guys.
Is it really no contact if you started talking on “day 1?”
Before i started no contact i was messaging him constantly and i got no response.. So i then applied the no contact rule and he reached out to me towards the end of the day.. So it orobably bothered him that i waznt messaging gim at all. After that i dodnt hear from him again. Till the 3rd day when he reached out to me again and we got back together.... But we are no longer together and mainly by choice. But i also dont regret tge srcond chance cos now i know that we're just not for each other.
I wrote to him because I honestly got worried, not in a romantic way. He told me that he was happy to hear from me. I believe he feared to call me. Anyway, we have seen each other and just living day by day. No rush. Give him his space. Let's see what happens. Love you Coach Lee for your help.
I can recommend you to (Mr oduma )who was able to bring back my ex husband and it works, I believe he can solve your relationship problems
十2348073788494♻️♻️🎦🚻识你...
Coach Lee is a business man amd does sell his content, but he is absolutely genuine and thays a lost art in tje coaching community!!! He's as right as rain people!! This man absolutely t totally knows his shit!!! He's a consumate professional, with 2 decades of real world experience!!! Listen amd follow his advice to the letter folks, if you want the correct outcome!! If you're not gonna follow his advice to the letter, then why waste your time?!!!
Thanks a lot for the video. After watching it, I broke my no-contact yesterday by reaching out to my ex and told her I was really sorry for ignoring her and that I was open to listen to what she had to say. Although she was nice, I'm sure she was angry that I had ignored her, but it seemed like she appriciate my apology. Now I'm back to no-contact again, wondering what the future brings...
Update?
@@SJ-nw1ym, thanks for asking. I tried fixing the damage during the next month, but she stayed distanced and cold. Now it has been more than three months since I've contacted her. However, after one month of no-contact, two months ago, I've lost intrest in her. I wish her all the best...
@@AmirSuperTube I'm really happy for you that you got your closure. I wish you very best for your future ❤️ I hope that everything goes well for you xx
@@SJ-nw1ym, you're too kind. Thank you very much. Wish you all the best too.
@@SJ-nw1ym, honestly, things shouldn't be too complicated if people really love each other...
I disagree. Responding to breadcrumbs will never get you anywhere.
Seeing all good comments makes me have hope wish me luck everyone it’s nc time
Refreshing to hear a different perspective. I’m thankful you shared.
Fantastic!!!
My ex contacted twice me after 3 weeks of breakup. I ignored him both times. I started thinking about what to do.. thank god you posted this it helped me decide what to do and it felt right to respond.
Thank you Coach Lee. Your the tits!!
veronica guerra any update?
Believe in Coach Lee he is the truth.
Thanks alot. My mind froze when I got a text back in the morning. I'm extremely vulnerable as I've been a jerk to her 😅 and blocked her. I reached out to her and she responded she's doing pretty good and thanks for your concern. It's good to have a guide what to say and what not say after. I'm gonna 10:20 in the morning
no contact really works..my ex started to contact me @day 3..i just wanted to express how much I appreciate all of your amazing help and guidance. I hope you realize that you truly give the best advice. You really are the greatest. Thank you coach lee🙏🙏
How do you tell the difference between someone just being polite or out of guilt/ wanting to do the “right” thing (I’m thinking the person might just send a “Merry Christmas” text) versus a “sign” that they might want to reconsider their breakup?
After 4 days she contacted me, tried calling 2x, and left a text saying call me. I called back about 9hrs later, I probably would have let the call go. But we have a kid together so I have to make sure it's not about that. She wanted $300 to help get into a place and I said sorry I can't, if our child needs something. That I'll be fine with, but I'm not helping you financially.
He reached out not to get back but to explain why he did ended things and why he did it over the phone. Twice he asked to be friends. I don't want to be friends. I'm not sure what to do.
Likd your advice ,you are realistic and fair ,plus honest
He just wrote to me “how are you doing?” after 2 months of silence. I’m confused, I don’t know how to answer. I’m still missing him very much. I’ll try to keep it casual hoping he will keep on talking.
Any updates
Coach , you sooth and heal the broken hearts...God bless you 💐
I dated a girl for 4 months, I loved her I really did. I gave my best in the relationship, she took it for granted, she didn't appreciate it. Now I have 10 messages and 5 missed calls
Thankyou coach lee ... Your advice worked out for me... She reached out after 1.5 months😊
Thanks coach Lee, tonight my ex just texted me during NC and I did respond in polite way, before this I think I want to ignore him if he feel the suffer but after take your advice we did have funny and no serious topics at all, he came to me to recall our sweetest memories together which I thought he is cruel one but actually NOT, thank you so much and wondering if I ignored him tonight it will leads to make unnecessary drama..i want to say goodbye to painful tears that I had this evening.. So many good things to tell, thank you very much Sir💙
Coach Lee, I didn't respond one time. After a month of me moving Forward he sends Happy Mother's Day! You mean to tell me he can't call or text again with REAL communication??
I need to respond to a Man who is FOR ME. Who has Respect for me. Who is not perfect and is willing to be accountable for his actions. Not feel at any point they will abandon me and treat me like a sexual OPTION. Why would you want to Marry me then treat me so unfeeling. Then text like I suppose to jump out my seat? And I hate that. A person like that is saying to me your Feelings, hurt, anger, means Nothing to me so let me text and say Hi with NO account to what happened. NO. That's selfish and Rude.
And I don't feel that was Real contact. He uses special days to contact to give him a "Reason". Just checking my temperature. No apology. No acknowledgement of my feelings. Otherwise YES, I would have Responded. I felt like it was a slap in my Face. I want to feel appreciated by someone who CARES. Someome who wants my trust and respect. Someone who values me. Someone who Values me in their Life. And right now he acts like he doesn't. He knows how to talk to me. I can't be the one to bridge the gap all the time and that's what he EXPECTS.
THIS is his MO. He does this and then we get chummy and he disappears. I suggest we meet and he ghosts. I will not go through that again. If he wants to say more. Then SAY IT. Otherwise, I won't. It's been 2 months. If he had something to say. He would be saying it.
But, what do you do when they text looking to argue or start a fight to make you apologize and blame you for not being available for them?
You reply but keep everything calm and imply that you are busy. Or do you wait for a text with the intention of casually speak or fix things?
I'm willing to speak when I see her more calm and with intentions of starting a healthy conversation, but I'm not sure on what to do if they are looking to argue if we left everything clear.
I know that her rebound is not working and she is looking for some attention that she is not getting. So she is frustrated because I'm not there for her..
I know this is good in a way, but do I reply to show that I care but at the same time not giving them all my time and attention?
Thank you so much! My ex texted me a week into no contact and I panicked. Im sure glad I came across this video.
Yeah man. Good news!
Are you back together?
@@crystalclimenhage7159 Yes, we are! And we're living together and doing great!
I wanna know what means if he reaches out to me reaches out to me, and wishing me happy bday, but thats all.
I answered my ex after he reached out after four days with the most basic speech ever. Just, I love you, will you take me back. No asking to talk, just jumping straight to getting back together. No apology, no talk about what can change to make things better. I don't know why he bothered. I said, nothing has changed, I cant go back to you with how you currently treat me and bid him goodbye. Them coming back doesn't always mean that things are gonna be better
OK after watching this I will continue to ignore as I don't want my ex back. I blocked for good, but thanks for explaining.
Coach Lee is the best coach, so I watch all of your video with ads
Glad I found this video. On second day of NC he reached out saying " I hope you are fine etc". I simply told him "thanks, you too". Did not expect him to reach out but I will keep the contact cool and short for now.
how did it go?
@@mexxxtentacion5457 NC worked... we re-connected and it seemed like everything would be ok again, then he hurt me and I decided to not contineu. Working on moving on right now. 😅
@@ML-gh2ig i’m sorry to hear that, i hope you recover
@@mexxxtentacion5457 thank you
Well, I responded in the all the correct ways. Didn’t push the conversation, kept it cheerful. It had only been 8 days of actual NC. She proceeded to contact everyday 5 days straight. I flirted with her, had her laughing. It was good. She even happened to be driving by when I was working out in a field. She stopped, we had one of the biggest hugs in forever. On the 5th day I get the call she wants to see me on her way home. We meet, end up kissing some. All the signs were there she was coming back...then she goes distant for a couple days and I get the “I just can’t” conversation. I should have guarded my heart but I was just so ready to work this out. Now I feel more broken than before. I just wish she never would have contacted unless she was 💯 ready. Back to NC and I don’t know if I could ever get over what just happened. I wish everyone on here the best and stay strong!
Man am so glad I watched your video coach Lee.. coz just before your video I’ve watched other relationship coaches who sod that I should ignore my ex’s calls o msgs if she reaches out to me.. It didn’t make any sense to me and am so glad that you explained it to me and made me feel right about this .. I really appreciate you coach Lee.
NO CONTACT WORKS!!
I chased my ex, she left me, for 4 weeks i chased her, then i gave up.
I went no contact...9 days later she has reached out to me and told me she is missing me. Not getting my hopes up but need to think about my response!
She dissapeared as soon as she reached out, just needed an ego boost i think. Top tip. Just let them go
My problem is slightly different in that my ex can't go three days without messaging me! Usually random, funny memes that I am sure she is sending as a 'group message', but I feel obliged to respond to. We seem to go round in circles - we reach a point where we are getting along really well, yet when I suggest getting together, she backs away. I go into no contact, then she reaches out after two or three days.
I really feel that I WANT the silence to last longer, in order for her to experience the void!....... I don't want to just flatly ignore her messages, but at the same time I am getting nowhere by responding!
I'm having the same problem. What did you do and what happened
@@tyetr9853 update?
@@mexxxtentacion5457 Found out she became a hoe. Hurts but moving on
Same. We have a child together so what she does when she wants to hear from me is send me a picture 🤦🏽♂️
The thing is that she reached out, but the way she reached does not deserve a respond. She is trying to manipulate me and saying that ''You made a fake ac on Instagram'' etc, ect. Even tho I really want her back, why should i bother responding when she is saying that
Coach lee, are you able to make marriage/separation/divorce videos please?
Some topics
-Steps to take during separation
-How to get back ex wife especially when it comes to long marriages
-If you were your ex spouses first love
-How to cope with divorce
-Does having pets during a relationship help ex’s come back.
-Is the grass greener on the other side of divorce or not
-Christian spouces divorcing without infidelity existing.
These are just random things I’ve thought about during my divorce process.
No need to ignore them,,just ans them politely and dnt act so needy. Make them realize that ur life was more easier without them and u are happy. Let them call you but not you.
I just recently started talking to my ex....we work together so I only talk about work related stuff. She tries to joke with me....i just chuckle. I never will talk about us unless she brings it up....
very straight up and honest advice. thanks coach Lee
I love the way you communicate without all the advertising and at least if you do do it it's at the end when people and calm and quite happy to hear it.
My ex contacts me every few days the last one was to see how my plumbing in the bathroom was but it's nothing more than that I just reply but continue on other than that as if it is still no contact I don't talk about what new is happening in my life or ask questions in return other than I hope you're well
After 24 days of NC my ex sent me a text to congratulate me on finishing remodeling my condo and she was wondering how the remodel was going. I waited several hours and simply replied "thanks". She is in another relationship so I am hoping I handled myself well.
Great advice! How should you respond to your ex messages if you don't want them anymore? Should you give them a proper answer or not contact at all?
Hi Coach, my ex and I broke up January this year due to religious differences. The last time I hang out with him was February.
We didn’t really talk much and went into NC until June, then I reached out to him in email, found out he moved to Washington but didn’t tell me.
I told him I wanted to meet with him to tell him somethings before he moved and was disappointed that you didn’t tell me you were moving away. He said things were hectic during the move, but then he said he’ll be back in December to visit his parents, but nothing about coming to see me.
Five days ago, he sent an email saying “I’m planning to be back in California Christmas week.”
I’m not sure to respond by saying
“Ok”
“Ok what’s going on? Why contacting me now”??
No response until he really wants to meet
and catch up
Hi, Lee! Thank you for all the support and guiding!
I have a question. What if the only time my ex reached out was at 2am on Friday (probably drunk) and I didn’t pick up? He woke me up with that call, so I muted it and dropped the next call he made after that. I had to work on the next day, so I was irritated and didn’t want to listen to possibly drunk messages.
That was at around 30 days of no contact and now it’s a week after and nothing happened.
What to expect?
It probably means you are the last option he could have had for a bang since he has exhausted every other possibilities outside . .
I'm no coach. I'm just a synical dick
I think some of what you say makes people betray themselves. In a few of your videos you said the only time you can contact your ex is when you want to say you accept their decision. People like me who were vulnerable at that time and hoping, used a message like that for hope. But in my experience it made me feel worse, not only did the person not come back but I feel like I betrayed myself for doing that. My usual action would have been no action and just accepted it, theres strength in being able to show you can walk away and show the person you dont need them. It already feels horrible when someone pushes you away, you shouldn't be giving advice saying to those people send one last message! You'll make that person feel even worse, like their ex thinks of them as a loser now, e.g., they wernt nice to you and now youre apologising accepting their decision?! Can you see how that advice can make someone feel bad and like they've betrayed themselves. You need to think about the advice youre giving to people when theyre vulnerable.