Because my wife took care of house and family, I was able to take care of the income WE earned together. 31 years later and life is still very very good.
💯 My hubs and I were LOW income when we first started having kids. Because I stay home, he’s able to focus on work while at work. He quickly started getting raises and promotions. In one year alone, he quadrupled our income. I manage our money (well, we do it together but I work on budgets and plans then we have meetings about it). I kept our lifestyle the same for a few years so we could invest. It’s been such an amazing blessing. We are both so grateful for each other. Definitely a team. Neither of us could do what we do without the others support. Married 20 years 🥰
@@joyfulhomemaker8053yep, same here. We had very little when we got together. After many years, kids, and hard work we're in a much better financial position and much happier with me staying at home. I'm the CFO in our household, keeping bills paid and money going where it needs to go. We get together for "meetings" as you put it to discuss bigger purchases we need to make. It all works!
That’s what a family is, TOGETHER they make the best life for everyone involved, kids and partners. Stay-at-home parents have tremendous influence on their offspring, I know in my case it was for the better.
This is all true. However, stay at home moms who don’t have a side hustle or aren’t bringing in any income should feel confident in their role. I used to call myself “just” a stay at home mom, but there’s no “just” about it, so I don’t anymore. This ain’t a dig at side hustles, or working moms, or anything, just a statement that you never have to justify being a stay at home mom by saying “but I also do X.” This is tangential to the comments in the video, but maybe it will give another “just a SAHM” a confidence boost. 🙂
I feel like we tell ourselves this as a cope. And I don’t mean moms with chronic illness or special needs kids or a lot of non independent younger children or nuances like that. I don’t even mean having to make money. I mean biblically speaking, the “just a SAHM” feeling can be a true intuition that there’s more potential and a higher calling to be a net positive to the people around us on top of how we manage our homes. I think raising families is one part of making disciples and being the salt of the earth but many women could do more than they do.
I respectfully disagree. There is nothing more important that I could be doing than raising my children (currently I have 6). If God calls me to serve my neighbor, or become more involved in my community in some way I will (and have) happily do it. But when I, God willing, go to heaven, I believe God will want me to answer for how I served and raised my children and my family first. As a married woman and a mom, my family is my mission field.
@@MelissaCaskey-wm7zp The world and community is your mission field and your family fits into that bigger picture. Your original comment is similar to rhetoric I hear for women who don’t feel they have it in them or feel they don’t have to strive to do more beyond caring for the home and family. That’s a sketchy blend of truth and western thinking to believe there’s nothing more important than raising our children. It’s big and good to focus on doing it well, don’t get me wrong. But the calling is greater and bigger than that. Having strong families fits into the call, but it’s not the end goal in itself. The family of Christ I need to be a part of goes beyond me, my spouse, and my kids. I don’t want us to treat our families like that’s the whole picture and lose perspective.
@@RachelDeewell maybe you can come over and tell me what more I could be doing haha. I’m certainly not perfect. I’m against this idea of telling moms who are in the thick of raising their children to “do more.” That’s why I commented on this video. But I can assure you that if you’ve ever heard of the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, these things are taking place in my home on the daily because that’s part of what it means to raise a family. Heck I’ve already fed the hungry, and clothed the naked and borne wrongs patiently this morning and it’s not even 930. We are just talking past each other. I was trying to encourage moms who live in a society that tells them that they are never doing enough that they may actually be doing enough in their current state.
IMO, being "just" a stay at home mom alone is a full time job even without the side hustles. Let's give credit where credit is due and not give even a hint that somehow it is not enough to just be a traditional mom.
Amen! My husband was joking that every time he wakes up from a nap, I'm doing dishes. 😂 I told him that I am always at work. BUT, he is a wonderful hard working man of God. He takes his God given role very seriously as do I. That is what ultimately makes a marriage an amazing blessing. I am so thankful to my Lord and Savior that I no longer have to work in our failing Healthcare system ever again. There will never be any job/career that I would trade for being able to care for my family. ❤
It can be long as your keeping busy with chores or have a bunch of young kids. Most stay at home moms I know literally sit on the couch all day, and only do dishes or laundry when there's nothing clean. I'm all for women being house wives, but there is a reason why some people are so against it.
@jc-rq8or being a mom these days requires quite a bit of involuntary screen time(couch sitting) though. When I'm on the couch it's bc my back hurts from doing things physically, so then I do things like sit down and homeschool my kids/watch documentaries w them, register them for various things, pay for their extra curriculars, order them clothes or whatever else they need, communicate w their coaches, scout leaders and teachers, arrange things like trips or outings or sleelovers, learn Spanish, do research, learn a skill/hack, find recipes, renew library books, look for science experiments, tutorials, events and opportunities, edit/print photos, make appointments, attend telehealth appointments, sell things, keep up w medical records, the list goes on and on. I have 0 social media and spend anywhere from 0-15 minutes on RUclips and I still have to be on my phone/couch for a few hours each day but I'm certainly not just lying around relaxing lol
I was a teacher for ten years, then sahm, now homeschool mom. I don't do a side hustle. This is by far my busiest occupation. But also so rewarding. I am happy I can take care of my parents as they grow older. They have always taken care of me and my siblings too. Never forget how important it is to take care of your loved ones, to invest time in them.
Yes, same! I was wondering if I could be considered a stay at home mom? Not sure, but I clean a church / preschool part time and I bring my kid with me. She loves it. All the toys to herself. 😆 what do you call yourself? We homeschool as well.
This is what drives me nuts. Childcare is expensive. Meanwhile you’re also grocery shopping, meal prepping, laundry, transporting kids to and fro. If you hired a live in nanny you’d be paying a pretty penny. But people just disregard SAHM as lazy.
@@Dmb0617 because at one time (roughly early 2000's) it was. I was a sahm, i got heavy, lazy, always tired. I work now over 45hr/wk and my house is always tidy, dinner on table, laundry schedule. Im just happier with little ones still (their in elementary school)
I'm a stay-at-home mom of almost 9 years and homeschooling my kids for 6 years. That's two full time jobs. My husband has said he will do whatever it takes to keep it that way. He values my jobs and can see the importance of them both and understands the scripture and what God calls us to do as wives, mothers and homemakers.
And God also allowed men to take multiple wives, including sla*e wives. Should we go back to that? Would you stay with your husband, just like the women forced into polygamy in the bible had to?
Yes! Amen! Hobbies and side hustles are different and while it’s okay to have them family should always come first. I’m a SAHM with no side hustle but I do have hobbies like canning and gardening which I love so much but I also have the role of being a homemaker, mother, teacher, wife, and cleaning a house. I love being just a plain SAHM without a side hustle. God is so good!
I'm a stay at home mom. No side hustle. But the hubs has his own business on top of being a farmer, so I'm basically his secretary. There's so much to do from day to day! Between God time, cooking, cleaning, gardening/outside maintenance, bookwork, kids school stuff, home projects, exercise and church things I'm involved with I'm grateful for the hubby I have who is extremely hard working and the time I have to be able to do all these things!
Agreed! I tell people that I work harder now being at home with my children and taking care of my family than I ever worked in the hospital. And I was VERY busy in the hospital. But it is so rewarding to take care of my family
I've been a SAH homeschooling Mom & now wife for 32 years. How annoying & degrading when someone has asked: Do you work? Or stay home? I always said: I know what you mean but women have ALWAYS worked, whether they are at home or getting an outside paycheck. And it's usually been both. My focus & responsibility is on my children, home, & family, my husband focuses on the paycheck.
I'm a SAHM of 4. Currently homeschooling 3 since I graduated the oldest one last year. I am a natural light photographer on the side. My husband and kids are usually with me on those weekends when I have a shoot. I can edit my photos while my kids are reading or having free time. It has been such a blessing from God ❤
I'm a stay at home mom, and I'm homeschooling our 5 kiddos (ages 13mo-12 years). I wouldn't want it any other way. Very grateful to be avle ro do it. I'll never get this time back, so I'm really enjoying and appreciating it.❤
My sister is a stay at home Mom and she was terrible at homeschooling, lol. They realized it was a mistake to have her do it after the first year. Glad it works for you, and it doesn't work for everyone.
@@NorthernNessa She was not organized enough and her son didn't progress as he should have. They put him back in public school for 1 year and then took him out after that to take a combo of private school classes and college classes. He is high ability, bored in public school so the college classes were the best thing for him. He walked in with over half of his degree done and so he was able to double-major. He is now a successful entrepreneur. My son, also, was taken out his final year of school to take college classes and graduated 2 years early. At age 21, he became one of the youngest managers in his company's history. I worked with him to navigate school and remain true to Christian principles, and that experience has helped him work with people in the world.
My mom is stay at home; she has ten kids, all with one man (they are still married, and did not have kids until they married), and we are all homeschool kids. Have never gone to a public or private school. Not only has she taught, she also encouraged us in our hobbies, fixed literally ANYTHING (it's honestly scary, she can even fix ruined paintings), made us little gifts, cooks amazing meals every day, mills her own flour, does library trips regularly, and still finds time to make art, jewelry, and clay crafts. She gets worn out, but she is amazing and a hero. (You would not believe the patience this woman has.)
She's the mom who made us rock candy for geology studies, found videos and books for us when we decided we all loved butterflies (and then underwater creatures, and then space), and encouraged us, boys and girls, to cook and experiment in the kitchen.
@@DragonLadyBad Oh, I'm not judging people who don't marry; I don't plan to marry myself. (Sorry it came out sounding like that.) I just used it to clarify because usually when I talk about her, people assume not all the kids are hers.
I stayed at home with my kids all the way till college. I provided for my family, taught my children morals and values. I volunteered in their classrooms. What I learned with this, is that it takes a very special and strong woman to stay at home. Not many can do it. My husband travels ALOT, and I managed just fine. My son is a Pilot and my daughter is an Engineer. Looks like it all worked out.
I'm a SAHM who also homeschools her kids... That is the job of a mother, no side hustle requirement, being a mother and properly raising our children in The Way is absolutely enough.
Yes, yes, yes! Exactly. A friend of mine once said "if it aint working for your kids, it aint working for you" Women are great at "figuring things out" to make things work for the family. Because they LOVE their family!!!
I tried staying at home whilst running a cake business. My kids suffered because of it. I spread myself too thin. My kids needed all my attention. I have closed my business. I can get back to it when my children are older.
The whole point she’s trying to make is that it shouldn’t be a competition or offensive to be one or the other or both. It’s not a big deal to be a stay at home or to work part time. Both are fine. It’s up to each family and what’s best for them and for mom. Moreover what God has called them to.
@@RachelDeeis it really the same amount of housework ?? If your kids are at home all day eating meals and playing and making messes vs . The whole family being out of the house all day at work and daycare/school how can it be the same exact amount of work? Not to mention that if you’re home all day, your main task isn’t just cleaning its parenting. And it’s not so easy to get all those chores done when you’ve got a baby and toddler in tow. I’m sorry, I’ve heard this argument so many times and I have nothing but respect for working moms. However… if your family is *living* in that house all day, that’s just making more work for you to do.
@@MelissaCaskey-wm7zp no you’re right I shouldn’t have used the word “same”. It’s logically not the exact same. I’m basing my opinion purely on anecdotes of my working vs mom experience and others that I listen to. The ratio of work me and my friends have to do as full time at home moms right now just seems to be less than our working mom friends even when you account for extra factors.
I’ve moved from full time work to full time SAHM and, personally (please note this is my personal experience! I have come from full time as a paramedic), I am working more as a SAHM cleaning, cooking, teaching and raising my kids. I know it’s hard working full time and having kids in the mornings/evenings and night, but I don’t want anyone to say it’s “easier” being a SAHM. It’s just as hard and has its own unique challenges! You’re amazing for doing either
Yup! I'm that mom! I homeschool, I'm a homemaker, I sell clothes on Poshmark, manage 2 of our rental properties, and I teach sunday school on the weekends. I have 3 boys under the age of 10 and also 15 weeks pregnant with baby #4. My husband works full-time. We reserve every Tuesdays for date nights. We dont have any family that lives near us to help, but I'm telling you! It's very possible!
I think the error is in only counting paid labor. A lot of stay at home moms don't bring in a penny, but we help the community economy by creating a safe home for working moms to drop kids off at, making meals to bring to the sick and elderly, keeping social cohesion going by volunteering. There is a ton of labor that needs to be done without pay because it is essential for human flourishing. Communities that have a ton of stay at home moms are richer not only because the dads must make more to subsidize a non-working spouse, but because there is spillover into the larger community of all those unpaid working hours. Those old Mastercard commercials were correct, and as we've tried to replace those stay-at-home mom jobs with nannies, meal services and social workers we find that it really was something that we cannot now buy.
Yep, hit the nail on the head. Only thing I would say is making money does not define work or how you “profit”. You can turn a profit on staying at home just by being a skill housewife. Gardening can save money at the store, homeschooling can be way better quality for the money, etc. The book Eve in Exile does a great job at explaining this.
How about saving the family significant amounts of money by doing multiple things myself as opposed to outsourcing so much? I have learned countless trades that save my family thousand upon thousands each year. I’m homeschooling instead of private Christian school, I clean my own house, do our yard work, cook almost all delicious and nutritious meals instead of any restaurants, run a homestead with egg-laying chickens and full garden, cut and highlight my own hair, do my own nails, I could go on. On top of this, I have made small amounts of money offering interior decorating services. But that has been insignificant compared to what we have saved.
sahm here. no side hustle, etsy shop, yt channel, etc...learned my lesson with those. Only Every once in awhile I sell a knitted object LOL. My husband has come to regret the 2-3 times he asked me to take in kids for babysitting to make a little extra cash. I don't have TIME for a side hustle & I was never going to cut it as a girl boss! I am a sahm, that stays at home & only works FOR the home.
I met a woman with 10 children. Her husband, an anesthesiologist, would tease that she never worked a day in her life. (Obviously, he was jesting, knowing that she worked as hard as him or harder. )
Very thankful to be in a position where I have a salaried, reliable stay at home job so I can stay home and help provide for my family (alongside my husband) and take care of little one💛
Yeah this is also why MLM schemes can be so dangerous! They prey on that industrious drive and poke at the insecurities of moms who aren’t being in some kind of income.
@@grashi oh. I don’t have to do that. 🤷🏼♀️ it just make good money helping people feel good. But I’m just refuse to be one of those “hey friend” people. My circle knows what I do and if they want the product they let me know. Maybe I could be bigger if I did chase people but I have zero time for that.
I understand that MLM-scammy feeling now that I'm a SAHM of almost 12 years. I hear the things these well-meaning women say and I can say that I'm sure some women who stay at home feel guilty hearing it.... "don't you want to have your OWN MONEY to spend?" "Wouldn't you love to go on a vacation that YOU EARNED by yourself?!" I don't even participate in the "parties" most of the time anymore. I think now of some friends or family, "wow, do you hear yourself?! Would you say that if we were talking face-to-face?"
I stopped working 7 years ago when i got pregnant with my first son. I have been a stay at home mom since then, homeachool and work for free. Im going to take over my dad real estate business once i feel confident enough that I can handle it. My husband works remotely and also helps with the kids and the home. Teamwork
My beautiful Grandma that was my best friend in my young years, that has passed away but she was born in 1918 she was the most amazing human and fascinating! She had two boys and my grandpa was shipped out to WWII. She worked at a Ordinance plant here in IN and later was at the Mill for a time until my Grandpa got back from the war. Several years later she gave birth to my Mom then started Rescue mission work❤ To me she was the most loving, tender hearted ,caring, patience, and compassionate. True Proverbs 31 woman, I pray I carry out her legacy of faith as God guides my steps!
I’m a SAHM, however, I volunteer… A TON. I’ve always volunteered at church, then I also started to at my kids schools. Once second born was in kindergarten, I became a precinct committeeman in my legislative district. I’m also a financial coach and my hubs and I are marriage coaches at our church. I’m also the Shepard for our American Heritage Girls Troop. And my hubs and I have a small business that I manage. I also have a food garden and make sourdough.
My mum did the same thing & cried on the phone to me saying she would leave the abusive marriage if she had the money. Glad it’s worked out for you, when it’s good it’s amazing when it’s bad it’s a nightmare. Clearly you’ve seen one side of the coin
I’ve worked part time since I became a mom 14 years ago. Always around my family schedule. It aloud my husband time with our kids without me. He learned how much goes into a day with the kids and I was able to help our family financially.
I've done both, worked from home around my kids schedule till my 3rd was born and I had 3 under 2.5. Took a break from working and now that my oldest is 5 and youngest 9 months, I am starting my own home business that I can manage around my kids schedules that won't take up too much of my time.
I’m just a stay at home mom who cooks and cleans…at first I did some babysitting for a friend when she was in between daycares and I did some cleaning for an old landlord’s air bnbs but I’m not earning anything right now and that’s okay. I’m also 7.5 months pregnant right now and I literally have headaches and nausea everyday so I’m just not on top of cleaning as I wish I could be. Every family does what works for them 🤷♀️
Pregnancy can be incredibly hard. 5 months in with my 3rd, which has been the hardest by far. Believe I've had an iron deficiency and my energy was so bad 1st trimester, I could hardly get off the couch. And it was tough caring for a 2 and 1 year old. The guilt killed me, because I felt lazy, but really it was more like I was sick and was vomiting/nauseous all of the time. Give yourself some grace and do what you can. I'm feeling a bit better now that I can actually take my prenatal so can return to cooking and cleaning like I was before getting pregnant. I honestly can't imagine keeping a job this time around, and I'm sure you feel the same.
I'm with you (or was 40 years ago.) Taking B6 stopped my nausea. I had a friend who refused to take my advice and her doctor gave her B6 injections. B6.
I was a stay at home mom, homeschooled my kids. I did alterations on bridal gowns and made brides maid dresses. I look back and don’t know how I did it. - Lots of caffeine ?
Be careful what you say. Bringing in "income" makes you a working mom? I haven't been a "working mom" since I gave birth to my first child 30+ years ago. Everyone thought it was "ok" when I was homeschooling but when they went to college most people thought I should start "working." But my husband liked me being home and not being stressed and many other benefits;)
I am currently homeschooling my children and told my husband that I'll work when the kids are in college. He told me to do what makes me happy but I deserve to stay at home because I spent all that time looking after everyone else.
🙌🙌🙌🙌 my kids are all teens and in public school, and I'm still home. I have no plans on having a career even when they're gone. I always have something to do, and I'm sure my husband will love that he'll finally get all of the attention. 😏
You didn’t have to be making money, but that is a sad waste of time IF you’re not using your freed up resources to serve in a community of some sort. Life’s not all about you feeling relaxed and unstressed.
My parents have been married for 33 years and their youngest/eighth child is about to graduate high school. Mom worked a TINY bit before I was born and tried a tiny bit after that for less than a month, but never has had any other job or source of income. She keeps plenty busy, let me tell ya!
YES!!! This is what I personally aspire to because I enjoy working and have my own ambitions, but I also very much want to be a mother that is attentive and available, and hopefully homeschool. I am sick of the weird cultural moment with the pendulum swinging in the “tradwife” direction, when really all it is is a lot of women LARPing that they live in bygone eras, without even having an accurate grasp on how women lived historically. It’s only been the rich that could afford to not work, to not do anything to generate income and live solely off of one or two male breadwinners. But for most, that has rarely been the case! And they weren’t less of mothers or wives because of it.
It’s the way it’s always been since time began. Most stay at home mothers also did gardening, sewing, cooking, etc to help others and, if needed, to bring in additional income. The wealthy women would volunteer their services. In my hometown in southern Italy my grandmother wove the seats of chairs and was known as “Anna the chairmaker.”
This is true, but some stay at home mom's do not bring in any income and it is just as valid. People used to try and make me feel bad for that, and I refuse to believe the lie that I need to make money to provide for my family. I homeschool. I cook. I clean. I drive my kids to their lessons/sports. I read to them. I take them to events. I bring them to the library. I don't need to bring in finances to know that what I do is important.
Stereotypes so often are not real. Women are not a monolith, it's hardly that simple. Take these two women, for example. Dynamic, influential, and all at once modest and with the loveliest humility. They are key voices in the American landscape; I love to check in with them when collecting various women's points of view. Epic team up of two of the most beautiful on the inside women on the planet. Brilliant, beautiful, and ever pointing to Jesus for their astonishing humility, and overpowering gentleness. Much love, many thanks, and admiration to both ladies.
Humm Many have to as you say, hand off their kids to work for a living. This is not by choice to be a girl boss to climb any ladder. It is necessary due to economics. So, your right. It is not black and white
Not for people without kids. Some people who opt out of having children prefer money so they can live a certain lifestyle. We don't all want the family and the white picket fence, everyone is different. Let people live how they want to live
I treat taking care of my child like a job because it is in many ways. If it’s a job to separate what a mom does into several jobs, why isn’t it when it’s combined into one? I’m a home chef, cleaning lady, bookkeeper, chauffeur, and teacher.
I’m a stay at home mom to 4 boys whom I homeschool. I didn’t realize that I’m not a “working mom...” I work nonstop 24-7. I don’t get help. I don’t get breaks. Drowning is my daily norm. I’m not going to make side income. I’m going to raise my boys and when the time is right, I’ll get a job. And that time is 10+ years from now.
"Handing off" my kid to daycare crushed my heart every day. Navigating transporting her and then off to my job was usually not unstressful..It wasn't just a casual choice where I thought I was doing better than another woman by not deciding to stay home. Mentioning etsy or knitting, these things are just to pass the time and not feel useless or unproductive. Imo having a husband/ partner that actually can allow you to be very comfortable and secure is just somebody's careful choice or was planned or ok, maybe just happened..good for you. Another thing, ive heard more than a few sahms complain their a** off, hate on their lives and their husband. Also, many divorces occur when said husband/ breadwinner loses the job and poof..marriage isn't worth it to sahm anymore.
As a Mom who is nearly empty nest and am grieving all the regrets even as a SAHM, your children are your life's work. Period. It is the highest of callings, you will be held accountable, and it matters for eternity. Keep your mind on things above!!
My mom ran a laundry business out of our basement. She was very busy and had alot of white collar customers. Her ironing was Immaculate. ..And she handcolored black & white photographs with oil paint pigments before color photography was popular. That was a separate studio off the laundry area. Time span for her in home businesses late 1950's-- thru early 1970's. In her early 80's she told me how much she charged her laundry customers. My jaw dropped. I think $7hr which was ALOT back then. She sniffed and said "Yes, I got paid well. I was fast and I was good. I deserved that for my efficiency". I did enjoy watching her iron. She taught me how and I took over the ironing part when I got into high school.
I am primarily a stay at home mom. I work once a week as a nurse. I strongly believe bc I prioritize our families needs it has made us much more successful than if I can prioritize my work. I can easily go out and make a very good living. But my family needs me. I take care of my home and my kids and my husband and even my in laws. Bc of that my husband was able to put a lot more focus on his career which was extremely beneficial to our family. Look at the big picture ladies. It’s not about you, it’s about your family and the future of your family. Being a stay at home mom is a sacrifice but it is a sacrifice that is worth every single time.
I’m a stay at home mom and I’m not bringing in an income right now. But I will soon when the kids go off to school, but I don’t see a “traditional” job in my future. I’ll sell my art or something but I won’t be working 8-5.
I'm a stay at home mom. I cook, clean, bake, do the yard work, handle my special needs son's homeschool and therapy. If someone has something negative to say about stay at home moms, I dont let it bother me, I dont care. I know what I do to contribute. ❤
Absolutely. In fact, most women I know have multiple projects going, as well as slower seasons. And the slower seasons might include helping out an ailing relative. It’s called life. 🌿☺️
I am a SAHM that homeschools and I teach a homeschool music class as well as piano lessons. I do it all from my house. My children get to participate in the class and they love having different piano families come over for lessons because they get to play with their friends!! I love flexible options for moms to make the home a means of production, not just a means of consumption.
Exactly! You can add benefit to the world and your community with your time - it’s not all about more cash flow. One of the biggest privileges of my life was the opportunity to teach church music. I charge $5 per half hour lesson, and the reward is beyond what I could have imagined. Two of my students are still in high school and already better than me in some ways, and one of my students married a missionary and plays the piano at their church in Europe.
Yup, I'm a stay at home mum to 3 and I home school. People think that's the same thing as "school at home," which it is not. I also run a RUclips channel and help my husband with his business. It's tiring, but I would much rather do what I do than leave my kids and go work for some company who doesn't care about me... so I could pay people to take care of them. This was a decision my husband and I made before we ever had kids. I've only just started the "side hustle" in the last 2 years, since this crazy inflation has made it harder for our money to cover what it once did.
Moms wear about 18 hats. If you have a skill, enjoy it, and are a good multi-tasker, go for it. A friend usef to do medical transcription and type people's papers because she'd been a legal secretary. I had no skills. Lol
I’m a stay at home mom in graduate school working on getting my masters degree. That is enough even though my husband wants me to get a job I think and bring an income or do DoorDash deliveries, I am doing online school and my children are ages 7, 9 and 11 and I really do have enough to do.
I think women have seen it turn awfully wrong. My mum did the same thing & years later cried on the phone to me saying she would leave the abusive marriage if she had the money. Glad it’s worked out for you, when it’s good it’s amazing when it’s bad it’s a nightmare. It’s not ridiculous making sure if something’ terrible was to happen to your husband you would be able to stay afloat with your kids .. it’s wisdom
@@yasminogbu8929 absolutely. I was a very successful corporate attorney before I got married and had kids. I didn’t rush into marriage and we spent a long time getting to really know each other (long distance dating from different continents so we talked a lot first and discussed things like in-laws, finances, values, roles etc) before we even got engaged. I totally agree that if it’s good, it’s great and if it’s bad, you’re trapped. I’m so deeply sorry your mom experienced DV. That must have been terrifying to live through. If something were to happen to my husband, we have life insurance in the short term. In the mid to long term, I have family and a career to fall back on. As soon as my youngest goes to school, I fully intend to go back to work. And then my paycheck will cover home help because this house doesn’t clean itself 😂
During the day, I take care of my 18 month old. After she is asleep, I stay up most of the night working from home as a business writer. I don't sleep and we are barely making it financially, and logistically we don't know how we'd have a second child, which we want. I feel blessed that I can spend my time with her and that I know she's safe and cared for. I have never referred to myself as a "stay at home" mom, but I do know more and more "work from home" moms. We're raising our kids full time during the day and working from home all night. We're exhausted, honestly a bit envious, and fed up with an economy that forces so many households to rely on two-incomes to just barely make it. We are NOT over here feeling empowered by our earnings. We don't give a sh!t. I had a great career and I gave it up to find something that would let me work from home so I could spend time with my daughter. I just want to take care of my child and have that be enough, and I would gladly quit right now.
I think this illustrates the proverbs 31 woman. Stay at home, caring for the house and family while still being industrious and resourceful in someway to support her household. ❤
Glad you touched on this! So many speaking about feminism, that it’s what got women the “right to work” when it’s not true. Middle class, lower class working women have always existed before feminism. Women were always allowed to work. They just weren’t expected to work like the men and earned less to work less compared to the men. But they always worked! My grandma worked selling jewelry before getting married. My other grandma was a school-teacher. Working class women always worked. Feminism did not give women the “right to work” it made us work just like the men.
I am a SAHM, homeschooling, and working a part-time job 20 to 25 hours a wk. I am glad God gave me this opportunity to raise and educate my children and help my family with a small income
I get paid monthly through my Post 9/11 GI Bill to go to school. I am a stay at home mom who homesteads and brings in extra income through my college attendance.
Im a stay at home mom. I sell things on marketplace and have a few projects i wanted to start up around the house restoring furniture. I also meal prep for a few family members. ❤ The point is prioritize my family and in my free time produce through hobbys. 😊
Im a stay at home.....i was a college teacher. Done both and I'll say stay at home has zero break and much tougher on mental health..... So please respect stay at home moms ..... On personal note its exhausting and i prefer office work but for me my proority is my baby over myself and i want to raise him myself and thats why im stay at home.... I have no side hustle and got no time for it as i have high energy toddler
I know that's one thing that I extremely struggle with because I see how expensive everything's getting and in my family most of our husbands have passed away before they hit age 50...... So all of the women in my family have had to work because they still had teenagers to raise when they were around 50/55 and I just don't know if it's worth it to get a good-paying job part-time or I'm able to stay home if I decide to have kids
Make sure you get good life insurance. If my husband passes away, I get 1.3 million. If his death is from an accident, I get 1.8 million. It's not enough to live lavishly forever, but invested and budgeted properly, I could certainly finish homeschooling my children at least.
I am pretty blessed. I have a 13 yo who I get to take to school everyday, and 22 mo who gets to spend 3 days a week from 8:00 to noon with her grandparents and my hubby gets off work at 12:00 every day. I work 9 hour days so I can get an extra day off every other week and I work from home. Sometimes I wish I could be a stay at home mom but I love our life, our family, and my work.
I’m a work from home mom. I have one child who is 14. From the time he was born until 3 I stayed at home. Although I’m glad I spent that time with him I was bored a lot. . Being a work from home mom is the best of both worlds for me. To each their own.
There usually is not time or help enough to have a side hustle with babies when you are a stay home mom. If someone can do it, that's very cool, but usually they can't and that's because they already have a super full time job.
When mine were little, I quit scrapbooking and sewing because I didn't have a dedicated room, and the babies would just get into my stuff, and I'd be angry and frustrated. I needed to set it aside.
I'm getting a little tired of these working moms discussing what it's like to be stay-at-home-moms and telling other people what to do. You are working moms who clearly leave your kids with others while you're working. Just own up to it and let the true stay-at-home-moms give their advice. I'm a homeschool mom and single mom and working mom part-time, but when I was a stay-at-home-mom, I didn't work at all. I have also been a full-time working mom. All of these were completely different experiences for both me and my kid, but they were all necessary at the time. Some moms need to work full-time to provide. Nothing wrong with it.
Yes, i think she is saying this to appease her guilty conscience. She leaves her kids with someone else all day. But she wants to tell herself that she's just as focused on her children as a true, stay at home, homeschooling mom is. But the fact of the matter is that, she is not. She isn't physically with her kids and she often probably mentally distant when home due to the stress of working. She is a working mom who abandons her kids and it isn't biblical. It's a huge shame because I love most of what she espouses.
Because my wife took care of house and family, I was able to take care of the income WE earned together. 31 years later and life is still very very good.
💯
My hubs and I were LOW income when we first started having kids. Because I stay home, he’s able to focus on work while at work. He quickly started getting raises and promotions. In one year alone, he quadrupled our income.
I manage our money (well, we do it together but I work on budgets and plans then we have meetings about it). I kept our lifestyle the same for a few years so we could invest.
It’s been such an amazing blessing. We are both so grateful for each other. Definitely a team. Neither of us could do what we do without the others support.
Married 20 years 🥰
@@joyfulhomemaker8053yep, same here. We had very little when we got together. After many years, kids, and hard work we're in a much better financial position and much happier with me staying at home. I'm the CFO in our household, keeping bills paid and money going where it needs to go. We get together for "meetings" as you put it to discuss bigger purchases we need to make. It all works!
That’s what a family is, TOGETHER they make the best life for everyone involved, kids and partners. Stay-at-home parents have tremendous influence on their offspring, I know in my case it was for the better.
This is all true. However, stay at home moms who don’t have a side hustle or aren’t bringing in any income should feel confident in their role. I used to call myself “just” a stay at home mom, but there’s no “just” about it, so I don’t anymore. This ain’t a dig at side hustles, or working moms, or anything, just a statement that you never have to justify being a stay at home mom by saying “but I also do X.” This is tangential to the comments in the video, but maybe it will give another “just a SAHM” a confidence boost. 🙂
💗So true, and thankyou for the boost!
I feel like we tell ourselves this as a cope. And I don’t mean moms with chronic illness or special needs kids or a lot of non independent younger children or nuances like that. I don’t even mean having to make money. I mean biblically speaking, the “just a SAHM” feeling can be a true intuition that there’s more potential and a higher calling to be a net positive to the people around us on top of how we manage our homes. I think raising families is one part of making disciples and being the salt of the earth but many women could do more than they do.
I respectfully disagree. There is nothing more important that I could be doing than raising my children (currently I have 6). If God calls me to serve my neighbor, or become more involved in my community in some way I will (and have) happily do it. But when I, God willing, go to heaven, I believe God will want me to answer for how I served and raised my children and my family first. As a married woman and a mom, my family is my mission field.
@@MelissaCaskey-wm7zp The world and community is your mission field and your family fits into that bigger picture. Your original comment is similar to rhetoric I hear for women who don’t feel they have it in them or feel they don’t have to strive to do more beyond caring for the home and family. That’s a sketchy blend of truth and western thinking to believe there’s nothing more important than raising our children. It’s big and good to focus on doing it well, don’t get me wrong. But the calling is greater and bigger than that. Having strong families fits into the call, but it’s not the end goal in itself. The family of Christ I need to be a part of goes beyond me, my spouse, and my kids. I don’t want us to treat our families like that’s the whole picture and lose perspective.
@@RachelDeewell maybe you can come over and tell me what more I could be doing haha. I’m certainly not perfect. I’m against this idea of telling moms who are in the thick of raising their children to “do more.” That’s why I commented on this video. But I can assure you that if you’ve ever heard of the corporal and spiritual works of mercy, these things are taking place in my home on the daily because that’s part of what it means to raise a family. Heck I’ve already fed the hungry, and clothed the naked and borne wrongs patiently this morning and it’s not even 930. We are just talking past each other. I was trying to encourage moms who live in a society that tells them that they are never doing enough that they may actually be doing enough in their current state.
IMO, being "just" a stay at home mom alone is a full time job even without the side hustles. Let's give credit where credit is due and not give even a hint that somehow it is not enough to just be a traditional mom.
amen
Amen! My husband was joking that every time he wakes up from a nap, I'm doing dishes. 😂 I told him that I am always at work. BUT, he is a wonderful hard working man of God. He takes his God given role very seriously as do I. That is what ultimately makes a marriage an amazing blessing. I am so thankful to my Lord and Savior that I no longer have to work in our failing Healthcare system ever again. There will never be any job/career that I would trade for being able to care for my family. ❤
The wife in Proverbs was an entrepreneur.
It can be long as your keeping busy with chores or have a bunch of young kids. Most stay at home moms I know literally sit on the couch all day, and only do dishes or laundry when there's nothing clean. I'm all for women being house wives, but there is a reason why some people are so against it.
@jc-rq8or being a mom these days requires quite a bit of involuntary screen time(couch sitting) though. When I'm on the couch it's bc my back hurts from doing things physically, so then I do things like sit down and homeschool my kids/watch documentaries w them, register them for various things, pay for their extra curriculars, order them clothes or whatever else they need, communicate w their coaches, scout leaders and teachers, arrange things like trips or outings or sleelovers, learn Spanish, do research, learn a skill/hack, find recipes, renew library books, look for science experiments, tutorials, events and opportunities, edit/print photos, make appointments, attend telehealth appointments, sell things, keep up w medical records, the list goes on and on. I have 0 social media and spend anywhere from 0-15 minutes on RUclips and I still have to be on my phone/couch for a few hours each day but I'm certainly not just lying around relaxing lol
I was a teacher for ten years, then sahm, now homeschool mom. I don't do a side hustle. This is by far my busiest occupation. But also so rewarding. I am happy I can take care of my parents as they grow older. They have always taken care of me and my siblings too. Never forget how important it is to take care of your loved ones, to invest time in them.
You are a great person ❤
@@Stormfire89 I couldn't do any of it without God, He provides. I mess up all the time 😂 Have a nice day!
Yes! I homeschool my son and work as a gardener 4 days a week, he comes with me. I’m grateful for what God has provided us!
Yes, same! I was wondering if I could be considered a stay at home mom? Not sure, but I clean a church / preschool part time and I bring my kid with me. She loves it. All the toys to herself. 😆 what do you call yourself? We homeschool as well.
Aww
Pay somebody to keep those kids and see if it isn't a job.
This is what drives me nuts. Childcare is expensive. Meanwhile you’re also grocery shopping, meal prepping, laundry, transporting kids to and fro. If you hired a live in nanny you’d be paying a pretty penny. But people just disregard SAHM as lazy.
@@Dmb0617 because at one time (roughly early 2000's) it was. I was a sahm, i got heavy, lazy, always tired. I work now over 45hr/wk and my house is always tidy, dinner on table, laundry schedule. Im just happier with little ones still (their in elementary school)
@@Masteralyssa where you work?
100%!!!!!
@@Masteralyssathat’s your own experience. That doesn’t equate to all SAHMs.
I'm a stay-at-home mom of almost 9 years and homeschooling my kids for 6 years. That's two full time jobs. My husband has said he will do whatever it takes to keep it that way. He values my jobs and can see the importance of them both and understands the scripture and what God calls us to do as wives, mothers and homemakers.
And God also allowed men to take multiple wives, including sla*e wives. Should we go back to that? Would you stay with your husband, just like the women forced into polygamy in the bible had to?
My husbands quote. "I (meaning, him) take care of the house & she takes care of the home"
Yes! Amen! Hobbies and side hustles are different and while it’s okay to have them family should always come first. I’m a SAHM with no side hustle but I do have hobbies like canning and gardening which I love so much but I also have the role of being a homemaker, mother, teacher, wife, and cleaning a house. I love being just a plain SAHM without a side hustle. God is so good!
As a woman with a brain and some degree of freedom, I am called to do what I want.
Being a Mom is a full time job in itself!
I'm a stay at home mom. No side hustle. But the hubs has his own business on top of being a farmer, so I'm basically his secretary. There's so much to do from day to day! Between God time, cooking, cleaning, gardening/outside maintenance, bookwork, kids school stuff, home projects, exercise and church things I'm involved with I'm grateful for the hubby I have who is extremely hard working and the time I have to be able to do all these things!
I do more work now that I stay home than when I worked three jobs.
Agreed! I tell people that I work harder now being at home with my children and taking care of my family than I ever worked in the hospital. And I was VERY busy in the hospital. But it is so rewarding to take care of my family
Shows that prudence is sometimes taking the middle road, but always prioritizing what's right, which is family ❤
I've been a SAH homeschooling Mom & now wife for 32 years. How annoying & degrading when someone has asked: Do you work? Or stay home?
I always said: I know what you mean but women have ALWAYS worked, whether they are at home or getting an outside paycheck. And it's usually been both.
My focus & responsibility is on my children, home, & family, my husband focuses on the paycheck.
I'm a SAHM of 4. Currently homeschooling 3 since I graduated the oldest one last year. I am a natural light photographer on the side. My husband and kids are usually with me on those weekends when I have a shoot. I can edit my photos while my kids are reading or having free time. It has been such a blessing from God ❤
I'm a stay at home mom, and I'm homeschooling our 5 kiddos (ages 13mo-12 years). I wouldn't want it any other way. Very grateful to be avle ro do it. I'll never get this time back, so I'm really enjoying and appreciating it.❤
💯! Same.
My sister is a stay at home Mom and she was terrible at homeschooling, lol. They realized it was a mistake to have her do it after the first year. Glad it works for you, and it doesn't work for everyone.
In what way was she terrible? Just curious. First year can be rough.
@@NorthernNessa She was not organized enough and her son didn't progress as he should have. They put him back in public school for 1 year and then took him out after that to take a combo of private school classes and college classes. He is high ability, bored in public school so the college classes were the best thing for him. He walked in with over half of his degree done and so he was able to double-major. He is now a successful entrepreneur. My son, also, was taken out his final year of school to take college classes and graduated 2 years early. At age 21, he became one of the youngest managers in his company's history. I worked with him to navigate school and remain true to Christian principles, and that experience has helped him work with people in the world.
I always say I’m a life coach, teacher, chef, professional organizer, maid, nurse, etc. SAHMs do it all
My mom is stay at home; she has ten kids, all with one man (they are still married, and did not have kids until they married), and we are all homeschool kids. Have never gone to a public or private school. Not only has she taught, she also encouraged us in our hobbies, fixed literally ANYTHING (it's honestly scary, she can even fix ruined paintings), made us little gifts, cooks amazing meals every day, mills her own flour, does library trips regularly, and still finds time to make art, jewelry, and clay crafts. She gets worn out, but she is amazing and a hero. (You would not believe the patience this woman has.)
She's the mom who made us rock candy for geology studies, found videos and books for us when we decided we all loved butterflies (and then underwater creatures, and then space), and encouraged us, boys and girls, to cook and experiment in the kitchen.
I'm not a fan of people who judge those who don't marry, but I like your mom
@@DragonLadyBad Oh, I'm not judging people who don't marry; I don't plan to marry myself. (Sorry it came out sounding like that.) I just used it to clarify because usually when I talk about her, people assume not all the kids are hers.
I stayed at home with my kids all the way till college. I provided for my family, taught my children morals and values. I volunteered in their classrooms. What I learned with this, is that it takes a very special and strong woman to stay at home. Not many can do it. My husband travels ALOT, and I managed just fine. My son is a Pilot and my daughter is an Engineer. Looks like it all worked out.
I'm a SAHM who also homeschools her kids... That is the job of a mother, no side hustle requirement, being a mother and properly raising our children in The Way is absolutely enough.
Yes, yes, yes! Exactly. A friend of mine once said "if it aint working for your kids, it aint working for you" Women are great at "figuring things out" to make things work for the family. Because they LOVE their family!!!
I tried staying at home whilst running a cake business. My kids suffered because of it. I spread myself too thin. My kids needed all my attention.
I have closed my business. I can get back to it when my children are older.
A stay at home mom IS a working mom. Why is that so hard.
The whole point she’s trying to make is that it shouldn’t be a competition or offensive to be one or the other or both. It’s not a big deal to be a stay at home or to work part time. Both are fine. It’s up to each family and what’s best for them and for mom. Moreover what God has called them to.
Working moms have to get all the same amount of housework done that other women have the whole day to fit in.
@@RachelDeeis it really the same amount of housework ?? If your kids are at home all day eating meals and playing and making messes vs . The whole family being out of the house all day at work and daycare/school how can it be the same exact amount of work? Not to mention that if you’re home all day, your main task isn’t just cleaning its parenting. And it’s not so easy to get all those chores done when you’ve got a baby and toddler in tow. I’m sorry, I’ve heard this argument so many times and I have nothing but respect for working moms. However… if your family is *living* in that house all day, that’s just making more work for you to do.
@@MelissaCaskey-wm7zp no you’re right I shouldn’t have used the word “same”. It’s logically not the exact same. I’m basing my opinion purely on anecdotes of my working vs mom experience and others that I listen to. The ratio of work me and my friends have to do as full time at home moms right now just seems to be less than our working mom friends even when you account for extra factors.
I’ve moved from full time work to full time SAHM and, personally (please note this is my personal experience! I have come from full time as a paramedic), I am working more as a SAHM cleaning, cooking, teaching and raising my kids. I know it’s hard working full time and having kids in the mornings/evenings and night, but I don’t want anyone to say it’s “easier” being a SAHM. It’s just as hard and has its own unique challenges! You’re amazing for doing either
Yup! I'm that mom! I homeschool, I'm a homemaker, I sell clothes on Poshmark, manage 2 of our rental properties, and I teach sunday school on the weekends. I have 3 boys under the age of 10 and also 15 weeks pregnant with baby #4. My husband works full-time. We reserve every Tuesdays for date nights. We dont have any family that lives near us to help, but I'm telling you! It's very possible!
I think the error is in only counting paid labor. A lot of stay at home moms don't bring in a penny, but we help the community economy by creating a safe home for working moms to drop kids off at, making meals to bring to the sick and elderly, keeping social cohesion going by volunteering. There is a ton of labor that needs to be done without pay because it is essential for human flourishing. Communities that have a ton of stay at home moms are richer not only because the dads must make more to subsidize a non-working spouse, but because there is spillover into the larger community of all those unpaid working hours. Those old Mastercard commercials were correct, and as we've tried to replace those stay-at-home mom jobs with nannies, meal services and social workers we find that it really was something that we cannot now buy.
Yep, hit the nail on the head. Only thing I would say is making money does not define work or how you “profit”. You can turn a profit on staying at home just by being a skill housewife. Gardening can save money at the store, homeschooling can be way better quality for the money, etc. The book Eve in Exile does a great job at explaining this.
Yes, in this “debate” no one ever talks about the amount of money you save by having a stay at home parent.
@@MelissaCaskey-wm7zp This is so true. I homeschool. There is no way we could afford to send all of my kids to private school.
How about saving the family significant amounts of money by doing multiple things myself as opposed to outsourcing so much? I have learned countless trades that save my family thousand upon thousands each year. I’m homeschooling instead of private Christian school, I clean my own house, do our yard work, cook almost all delicious and nutritious meals instead of any restaurants, run a homestead with egg-laying chickens and full garden, cut and highlight my own hair, do my own nails, I could go on. On top of this, I have made small amounts of money offering interior decorating services. But that has been insignificant compared to what we have saved.
Yes this is a legitimate point!!!
What are your organizational tips? 😂
sahm here. no side hustle, etsy shop, yt channel, etc...learned my lesson with those. Only Every once in awhile I sell a knitted object LOL. My husband has come to regret the 2-3 times he asked me to take in kids for babysitting to make a little extra cash. I don't have TIME for a side hustle & I was never going to cut it as a girl boss! I am a sahm, that stays at home & only works FOR the home.
One can be an industrious stay-at-home mom and not be earning an income.
Every mom is a working mom.
🎯
I met a woman with 10 children. Her husband, an anesthesiologist, would tease that she never worked a day in her life. (Obviously, he was jesting, knowing that she worked as hard as him or harder. )
Every dad is a working dad (even with no job).
@@RCGWho 😠
Yes mam!! Thank you!❤
Very thankful to be in a position where I have a salaried, reliable stay at home job so I can stay home and help provide for my family (alongside my husband) and take care of little one💛
Being a stay at home mom is the most difficult yet important job out there
Aw, I am so happy for women who want to stay at home to hopefully raise their kids and keep the home, but I could never just "stay at home". I'd die.
Yeah this is also why MLM schemes can be so dangerous! They prey on that industrious drive and poke at the insecurities of moms who aren’t being in some kind of income.
I love my mlm. Not all are scams. I can stay home and raise my son and help my husband with bills.
@@BayMom84the definition of an MLM is a scam lol. You are forced to compete with everyone else in the field with a limited customer base.
@@grashi oh. I don’t have to do that. 🤷🏼♀️ it just make good money helping people feel good. But I’m just refuse to be one of those “hey friend” people. My circle knows what I do and if they want the product they let me know. Maybe I could be bigger if I did chase people but I have zero time for that.
I understand that MLM-scammy feeling now that I'm a SAHM of almost 12 years. I hear the things these well-meaning women say and I can say that I'm sure some women who stay at home feel guilty hearing it.... "don't you want to have your OWN MONEY to spend?" "Wouldn't you love to go on a vacation that YOU EARNED by yourself?!"
I don't even participate in the "parties" most of the time anymore. I think now of some friends or family, "wow, do you hear yourself?! Would you say that if we were talking face-to-face?"
@@grashi ah, well… I don’t compete with anyone so I must not be in a mlm.
I stopped working 7 years ago when i got pregnant with my first son. I have been a stay at home mom since then, homeachool and work for free. Im going to take over my dad real estate business once i feel confident enough that I can handle it. My husband works remotely and also helps with the kids and the home. Teamwork
My beautiful Grandma that was my best friend in my young years, that has passed away but she was born in 1918 she was the most amazing human and fascinating! She had two boys and my grandpa was shipped out to WWII.
She worked at a Ordinance plant here in IN and later was at the Mill for a time until my Grandpa got back from the war.
Several years later she gave birth to my Mom then started Rescue mission work❤
To me she was the most loving, tender hearted ,caring, patience, and compassionate.
True Proverbs 31 woman, I pray I carry out her legacy of faith as God guides my steps!
Yep! Well said.
I’m a SAHM, however, I volunteer… A TON.
I’ve always volunteered at church, then I also started to at my kids schools.
Once second born was in kindergarten, I became a precinct committeeman in my legislative district.
I’m also a financial coach and my hubs and I are marriage coaches at our church.
I’m also the Shepard for our American Heritage Girls Troop.
And my hubs and I have a small business that I manage.
I also have a food garden and make sourdough.
My mum did the same thing & cried on the phone to me saying she would leave the abusive marriage if she had the money. Glad it’s worked out for you, when it’s good it’s amazing when it’s bad it’s a nightmare. Clearly you’ve seen one side of the coin
I’ve worked part time since I became a mom 14 years ago. Always around my family schedule. It aloud my husband time with our kids without me. He learned how much goes into a day with the kids and I was able to help our family financially.
That's good of you. It seems people don't realize that kids need their dad's around too.
I've done both, worked from home around my kids schedule till my 3rd was born and I had 3 under 2.5. Took a break from working and now that my oldest is 5 and youngest 9 months, I am starting my own home business that I can manage around my kids schedules that won't take up too much of my time.
I’m just a stay at home mom who cooks and cleans…at first I did some babysitting for a friend when she was in between daycares and I did some cleaning for an old landlord’s air bnbs but I’m not earning anything right now and that’s okay. I’m also 7.5 months pregnant right now and I literally have headaches and nausea everyday so I’m just not on top of cleaning as I wish I could be. Every family does what works for them 🤷♀️
You’re fine..in-fact,
you’re even better than fine,
congratulations and may God bless both you and your little baby with health and happiness! 😇
Do not feel guilty for not having a side hustle! Pregnancy is hard.
Pregnancy can be incredibly hard. 5 months in with my 3rd, which has been the hardest by far. Believe I've had an iron deficiency and my energy was so bad 1st trimester, I could hardly get off the couch. And it was tough caring for a 2 and 1 year old. The guilt killed me, because I felt lazy, but really it was more like I was sick and was vomiting/nauseous all of the time. Give yourself some grace and do what you can. I'm feeling a bit better now that I can actually take my prenatal so can return to cooking and cleaning like I was before getting pregnant. I honestly can't imagine keeping a job this time around, and I'm sure you feel the same.
I'm with you (or was 40 years ago.) Taking B6 stopped my nausea. I had a friend who refused to take my advice and her doctor gave her B6 injections. B6.
I was a stay at home mom, homeschooled my kids. I did alterations on bridal gowns and made brides maid dresses. I look back and don’t know how I did it. - Lots of caffeine ?
@Kwildcat13 ❤️.
Be careful what you say. Bringing in "income" makes you a working mom? I haven't been a "working mom" since I gave birth to my first child 30+ years ago. Everyone thought it was "ok" when I was homeschooling but when they went to college most people thought I should start "working." But my husband liked me being home and not being stressed and many other benefits;)
I am currently homeschooling my children and told my husband that I'll work when the kids are in college. He told me to do what makes me happy but I deserve to stay at home because I spent all that time looking after everyone else.
🙌🙌🙌🙌 my kids are all teens and in public school, and I'm still home. I have no plans on having a career even when they're gone. I always have something to do, and I'm sure my husband will love that he'll finally get all of the attention. 😏
You didn’t have to be making money, but that is a sad waste of time IF you’re not using your freed up resources to serve in a community of some sort. Life’s not all about you feeling relaxed and unstressed.
@Kwildcat13 that’s a straw man I never said and you know it.
My parents have been married for 33 years and their youngest/eighth child is about to graduate high school. Mom worked a TINY bit before I was born and tried a tiny bit after that for less than a month, but never has had any other job or source of income. She keeps plenty busy, let me tell ya!
YES!!! This is what I personally aspire to because I enjoy working and have my own ambitions, but I also very much want to be a mother that is attentive and available, and hopefully homeschool. I am sick of the weird cultural moment with the pendulum swinging in the “tradwife” direction, when really all it is is a lot of women LARPing that they live in bygone eras, without even having an accurate grasp on how women lived historically. It’s only been the rich that could afford to not work, to not do anything to generate income and live solely off of one or two male breadwinners. But for most, that has rarely been the case! And they weren’t less of mothers or wives because of it.
I wish I could be sahm.
My mother was blind and did it all.
Awe, this is so sweet and inspirational. Bless your mama.
Yes! A proverbs 31 woman is industrious and helps to grow the family economy 🙏🏻
It’s the way it’s always been since time began. Most stay at home mothers also did gardening, sewing, cooking, etc to help others and, if needed, to bring in additional income. The wealthy women would volunteer their services. In my hometown in southern Italy my grandmother wove the seats of chairs and was known as “Anna the chairmaker.”
I gave up a FT career and started my own business to be home with my teens. Thanks for recognizing that there are middles to the extremes.
This is true, but some stay at home mom's do not bring in any income and it is just as valid. People used to try and make me feel bad for that, and I refuse to believe the lie that I need to make money to provide for my family.
I homeschool. I cook. I clean. I drive my kids to their lessons/sports. I read to them. I take them to events. I bring them to the library.
I don't need to bring in finances to know that what I do is important.
👆thank you. 12 years in as a stay at home mom (with many more to go) and I have never contributed financially… but I assure you I have contributed.
Stereotypes so often are not real. Women are not a monolith, it's hardly that simple. Take these two women, for example. Dynamic, influential, and all at once modest and with the loveliest humility. They are key voices in the American landscape; I love to check in with them when collecting various women's points of view. Epic team up of two of the most beautiful on the inside women on the planet. Brilliant, beautiful, and ever pointing to Jesus for their astonishing humility, and overpowering gentleness. Much love, many thanks, and admiration to both ladies.
😂❤ playfully saying.... how many crocheters caught the video oppsie 😂❤
Humm
Many have to as you say, hand off their kids to work for a living.
This is not by choice to be a girl boss to climb any ladder.
It is necessary due to economics.
So, your right. It is not black and white
Allie certainly has a nanny and hands off her kids to her
@sarahsalom5452 Is she working full time? Is Lila Rose full time?
People need to be reminded that family should be priority number one.
But it needs to be the actual priority, not the proclaimed priority.
Not for people without kids. Some people who opt out of having children prefer money so they can live a certain lifestyle. We don't all want the family and the white picket fence, everyone is different. Let people live how they want to live
Our culture does not value our children nor do most understand how important the early years are! It is shocking to me!
I treat taking care of my child like a job because it is in many ways. If it’s a job to separate what a mom does into several jobs, why isn’t it when it’s combined into one? I’m a home chef, cleaning lady, bookkeeper, chauffeur, and teacher.
I’m a stay at home mom to 4 boys whom I homeschool. I didn’t realize that I’m not a “working mom...”
I work nonstop 24-7. I don’t get help. I don’t get breaks. Drowning is my daily norm.
I’m not going to make side income. I’m going to raise my boys and when the time is right, I’ll get a job. And that time is 10+ years from now.
The cost of daycare is absolutely outrageous like everything else. Everyone should be doing everything the can to pay their bills and save.
"Handing off" my kid to daycare crushed my heart every day. Navigating transporting her and then off to my job was usually not unstressful..It wasn't just a casual choice where I thought I was doing better than another woman by not deciding to stay home.
Mentioning etsy or knitting, these things are just to pass the time and not feel useless or unproductive.
Imo having a husband/ partner that actually can allow you to be very comfortable and secure is just somebody's careful choice or was planned or ok, maybe just happened..good for you. Another thing, ive heard more than a few sahms complain their a** off, hate on their lives and their husband. Also, many divorces occur when said husband/ breadwinner loses the job and poof..marriage isn't worth it to sahm anymore.
This is so well said. It's also why it's so challenging to be home with children without any other outlet
Being a mom is contributing to the household. She doesn’t need a job. Running the household so her family has a good life is her job.
As a Mom who is nearly empty nest and am grieving all the regrets even as a SAHM, your children are your life's work. Period. It is the highest of callings, you will be held accountable, and it matters for eternity. Keep your mind on things above!!
I also feel like I’m somewhere in between because I only work three days a week, so I’m home more than I’m not
A friend worked weekends as a pharmacist assisting anesthesiologists and earned 80k.
Yes indeed!
My mom ran a laundry business out of our basement. She was very busy and had alot of white collar customers. Her ironing was Immaculate.
..And she handcolored black & white photographs with oil paint pigments before color photography was popular. That was a separate studio off the laundry area. Time span for her in home businesses late 1950's-- thru early 1970's.
In her early 80's she told me how much she charged her laundry customers. My jaw dropped. I think $7hr which was ALOT back then. She sniffed and said "Yes, I got paid well. I was fast and I was good. I deserved that for my efficiency".
I did enjoy watching her iron. She taught me how and I took over the ironing part when I got into high school.
I used to make $1 per hour to babysit. I was stunned that just a decade later teens were charging $10 per hour per child. We rarely went out!
I am primarily a stay at home mom. I work once a week as a nurse. I strongly believe bc I prioritize our families needs it has made us much more successful than if I can prioritize my work. I can easily go out and make a very good living. But my family needs me. I take care of my home and my kids and my husband and even my in laws. Bc of that my husband was able to put a lot more focus on his career which was extremely beneficial to our family. Look at the big picture ladies. It’s not about you, it’s about your family and the future of your family. Being a stay at home mom is a sacrifice but it is a sacrifice that is worth every single time.
Proud to have stayed at home with my daughter the first two years of her life . I cherished every moment with her .
I was a stay at home mom but i didn't work at all. I wish my children were little again
I’m a stay at home mom and I’m not bringing in an income right now. But I will soon when the kids go off to school, but I don’t see a “traditional” job in my future. I’ll sell my art or something but I won’t be working 8-5.
I'm a stay at home mom. I cook, clean, bake, do the yard work, handle my special needs son's homeschool and therapy. If someone has something negative to say about stay at home moms, I dont let it bother me, I dont care. I know what I do to contribute. ❤
Absolutely. In fact, most women I know have multiple projects going, as well as slower seasons. And the slower seasons might include helping out an ailing relative. It’s called life. 🌿☺️
Moms who work are working moms, regardless of location.
Soap making was my side hustle. Now I work but got to step back so I am home more than I was when I was first back at work.
I am a SAHM that homeschools and I teach a homeschool music class as well as piano lessons. I do it all from my house. My children get to participate in the class and they love having different piano families come over for lessons because they get to play with their friends!! I love flexible options for moms to make the home a means of production, not just a means of consumption.
Exactly! You can add benefit to the world and your community with your time - it’s not all about more cash flow. One of the biggest privileges of my life was the opportunity to teach church music. I charge $5 per half hour lesson, and the reward is beyond what I could have imagined. Two of my students are still in high school and already better than me in some ways, and one of my students married a missionary and plays the piano at their church in Europe.
Yup, I'm a stay at home mum to 3 and I home school. People think that's the same thing as "school at home," which it is not. I also run a RUclips channel and help my husband with his business. It's tiring, but I would much rather do what I do than leave my kids and go work for some company who doesn't care about me... so I could pay people to take care of them. This was a decision my husband and I made before we ever had kids. I've only just started the "side hustle" in the last 2 years, since this crazy inflation has made it harder for our money to cover what it once did.
Yes i love this i think it provides the perfect balance
I’m a SAHM with no side hustle. My husband and I agreed that when I get stressed out I spend more money. So I just stick to the one job.
No side hustle here and proud of it. I homeschool 4 kids. You dont need to qualify being a home maker by having a side hustle. Thats bogus
Moms wear about 18 hats. If you have a skill, enjoy it, and are a good multi-tasker, go for it. A friend usef to do medical transcription and type people's papers because she'd been a legal secretary. I had no skills. Lol
I’m a stay at home mom in graduate school working on getting my masters degree. That is enough even though my husband wants me to get a job I think and bring an income or do DoorDash deliveries, I am doing online school and my children are ages 7, 9 and 11 and I really do have enough to do.
Looking after my home and four kids is a full time job. I don’t have time for anything else.
I think women have seen it turn awfully wrong. My mum did the same thing & years later cried on the phone to me saying she would leave the abusive marriage if she had the money. Glad it’s worked out for you, when it’s good it’s amazing when it’s bad it’s a nightmare. It’s not ridiculous making sure if something’ terrible was to happen to your husband you would be able to stay afloat with your kids .. it’s wisdom
@@yasminogbu8929 absolutely. I was a very successful corporate attorney before I got married and had kids. I didn’t rush into marriage and we spent a long time getting to really know each other (long distance dating from different continents so we talked a lot first and discussed things like in-laws, finances, values, roles etc) before we even got engaged. I totally agree that if it’s good, it’s great and if it’s bad, you’re trapped. I’m so deeply sorry your mom experienced DV. That must have been terrifying to live through.
If something were to happen to my husband, we have life insurance in the short term. In the mid to long term, I have family and a career to fall back on. As soon as my youngest goes to school, I fully intend to go back to work. And then my paycheck will cover home help because this house doesn’t clean itself 😂
I work full time, nights and weekends and a homeschooling SAHM. It can be done. ❤
I’m a stay at home wife and I love it ❤
During the day, I take care of my 18 month old. After she is asleep, I stay up most of the night working from home as a business writer. I don't sleep and we are barely making it financially, and logistically we don't know how we'd have a second child, which we want. I feel blessed that I can spend my time with her and that I know she's safe and cared for. I have never referred to myself as a "stay at home" mom, but I do know more and more "work from home" moms. We're raising our kids full time during the day and working from home all night. We're exhausted, honestly a bit envious, and fed up with an economy that forces so many households to rely on two-incomes to just barely make it. We are NOT over here feeling empowered by our earnings. We don't give a sh!t. I had a great career and I gave it up to find something that would let me work from home so I could spend time with my daughter. I just want to take care of my child and have that be enough, and I would gladly quit right now.
I'm a stay at home mom with no side hustle🙈😂
If you have to pay someone to keep the house clean and keep the child, how isn't it a job.😮
ALL moms are working moms.
I think this illustrates the proverbs 31 woman. Stay at home, caring for the house and family while still being industrious and resourceful in someway to support her household. ❤
Man l love your analysis. Subscribed
Glad you touched on this! So many speaking about feminism, that it’s what got women the “right to work” when it’s not true. Middle class, lower class working women have always existed before feminism. Women were always allowed to work. They just weren’t expected to work like the men and earned less to work less compared to the men. But they always worked! My grandma worked selling jewelry before getting married. My other grandma was a school-teacher. Working class women always worked. Feminism did not give women the “right to work” it made us work just like the men.
I am a SAHM, homeschooling, and working a part-time job 20 to 25 hours a wk. I am glad God gave me this opportunity to raise and educate my children and help my family with a small income
I get paid monthly through my Post 9/11 GI Bill to go to school. I am a stay at home mom who homesteads and brings in extra income through my college attendance.
Im a stay at home mom. I sell things on marketplace and have a few projects i wanted to start up around the house restoring furniture. I also meal prep for a few family members. ❤ The point is prioritize my family and in my free time produce through hobbys. 😊
Im a stay at home.....i was a college teacher.
Done both and I'll say stay at home has zero break and much tougher on mental health.....
So please respect stay at home moms .....
On personal note its exhausting and i prefer office work but for me my proority is my baby over myself and i want to raise him myself and thats why im stay at home....
I have no side hustle and got no time for it as i have high energy toddler
Yes I stay at home with my 10 children but I also homeschool them. Private school is expensive so this saves a ton of money and my kids love it.
I know that's one thing that I extremely struggle with because I see how expensive everything's getting and in my family most of our husbands have passed away before they hit age 50......
So all of the women in my family have had to work because they still had teenagers to raise when they were around 50/55 and I just don't know if it's worth it to get a good-paying job part-time or I'm able to stay home if I decide to have kids
Make sure you get good life insurance. If my husband passes away, I get 1.3 million. If his death is from an accident, I get 1.8 million. It's not enough to live lavishly forever, but invested and budgeted properly, I could certainly finish homeschooling my children at least.
The proverbs 31 woman definitely has her hustles to help take care of her family
I am pretty blessed. I have a 13 yo who I get to take to school everyday, and 22 mo who gets to spend 3 days a week from 8:00 to noon with her grandparents and my hubby gets off work at 12:00 every day. I work 9 hour days so I can get an extra day off every other week and I work from home. Sometimes I wish I could be a stay at home mom but I love our life, our family, and my work.
I’m a work from home mom. I have one child who is 14. From the time he was born until 3 I stayed at home. Although I’m glad I spent that time with him I was bored a lot. . Being a work from home mom is the best of both worlds for me. To each their own.
I’m a SAHM and I homeschool and I work prn as a physical therapist
Hasidic Culture of the home, and the work dynamics would blow modern feminists' minds
There usually is not time or help enough to have a side hustle with babies when you are a stay home mom. If someone can do it, that's very cool, but usually they can't and that's because they already have a super full time job.
When mine were little, I quit scrapbooking and sewing because I didn't have a dedicated room, and the babies would just get into my stuff, and I'd be angry and frustrated. I needed to set it aside.
I'm getting a little tired of these working moms discussing what it's like to be stay-at-home-moms and telling other people what to do. You are working moms who clearly leave your kids with others while you're working. Just own up to it and let the true stay-at-home-moms give their advice. I'm a homeschool mom and single mom and working mom part-time, but when I was a stay-at-home-mom, I didn't work at all. I have also been a full-time working mom. All of these were completely different experiences for both me and my kid, but they were all necessary at the time. Some moms need to work full-time to provide. Nothing wrong with it.
Yes, i think she is saying this to appease her guilty conscience. She leaves her kids with someone else all day. But she wants to tell herself that she's just as focused on her children as a true, stay at home, homeschooling mom is. But the fact of the matter is that, she is not. She isn't physically with her kids and she often probably mentally distant when home due to the stress of working. She is a working mom who abandons her kids and it isn't biblical. It's a huge shame because I love most of what she espouses.
It's different to work because you must vs working to fulfill yourself and get wealthy and afford a certain lifestyle.
The Proverbs 31 woman is a Stay At Home Mom with multiple side hustles.