:-D It was pretty funny, I'm also in disagreement with Lex's assumptions/position. Some app profiles are interesting to read and honestly it can be fun reading some of them. I think it would be great if he tried using a dating app for 2 weeks and to meet/talk with the people he matched with. Lex's opinion afterwards would be interesting
Every person can be a gift. But don't be fooled by the shiny wrapping paper and an empty box. Make sure the prize is inside. Blessings for a happy future. From an old grandma.
Sexual energy is powerful and a real exchange during intercourse. Before being physical with anyone it’s not a bad idea to understand what kind of trauma they’ve been through, what beliefs they have, how they’ve resolved or healed issues in life, etc. sex should be the last mode of incentive to be with someone.
Ur comment is one of the most useful and risk based ways to prevent future emotional and psychological and even financial pain from a damaged potential mate. Sociopaths arent born but are made and although severely damaged have developed thru necessity ways to survive the trauma often inflicted at their most vulnerable during childhood, then begin to utilise them to manipulate people / relationships to yield outcomes they feel they need and deserve, when in fact that emotional hole has no bottom. Its not going to say "recovering sociopath" on the Tinder profile
Unfortunately that's not how real life works. People are impulsive and hedonistic creatures, they're motivated by their base instincts to breed and they don't put very much thought behind sex before they do it.
My sexual drive fades away when i get to know people better, then i view them as my sisters and i care for them so much I can't have the same sex energy with them, i know i could have some kind of disorder, lol
I’m with Lex on dating apps. There isn’t enough information and it feels like I am shopping for a human. They also make me feel bad about myself and feel bad for rejecting people, some men look so hopelessly sad and lonely to me 😞 Lex is SO dreamy and totally out of my league but if there are more equally handsome, open, and empathetic men like Lex out there I would only be so lucky to match with him 🤞🏻
@@jpslayermayor9293 Exactly. It just feels yucky. I don’t know if I would have ever swiped right on the men I have fallen in love with in person. Looks are not everything. Gross and terrible people come in all packages too, it is easier to read the signs in person than a vague profile with photos. Some ppl are not typically good looking in photos, they have an aura/ vibe about them and you have to take into consideration their personality and voice etc. Apps are unnatural.
I feel exactly the same-it’s cheap and tawdry.This idea that you shop for a prospective mate has now become the same as car buying,just go online and see who offers the best deal and then negotiate.That’s not for me.Anyway,all the best,hope you get to where you want in the way you want.✌️👍
Agreed. Treated way more like the Bible instructs. As a society, we have lost our moral compass. People do things that do not feel ‘right’, or even worse yet things they KNOW to be wrong, just because they were told to or they see others doing it. Barely anyone has the courage to think for themselves and speak out against these immoral customs and norms we have developed in the America lead west. I am 40. And I went from having two sets of ww2 grandparents who only death could part, who were raised when things like divorce were taboo, so forget about the LGBQ alphabet soup folks. My Italian grandparents’ marriage was arranged. People in their day followed strict courting rules. Fast forward to today, and in a 40 year lifetime, it has come to where I barely know any happily married couples of the boomers down to my generation. Shit, it’s almost more normal to have combined families and homes than traditional. Sex has become a weapon, used in the multi faceted attack on the American family unit. Cheating is accepted as given, and many people see nothing wrong with breaking up a family or a marriage over petty personal issues, or a disagreement that would have never left the bedroom of my grandparents. Sex is rampant and women have been made to be everything except what they really are. My dad would have been 65 in a week. He is dead 10 years… rip I love you pop. But his generation were not on the ball. They devolved from the ww2. And my generation is left to pick up the pieces, answer the questions the boomers wouldn’t ask, and fix the problems and unhealthy behaviors that they not only co-signed, but made daily habits.
@@zacharysimone5817 I don't recall ever having read or heard anyone articulate these issues so concisely as you have done here. I wish I could memorize it
@George Carlin. Thank you! I have been feeling like I need to start to write more and different ways than I currently do, which is exclusively reserved for comment sections pretty much. Thanks for you feedback! It is greatly appreciated
@@zacharysimone5817 There is a whole range of possibilities between staying married 60 years to the same person and getting new partners every weekend. In my opinion, experience and that of others i see around me, sticking with the same person no matter what is not going to make you happy, is not going to help you grow as a person, and is not going to give the excitement for every other aspect of life that makes it enjoyable. There are ways to go through multiple relationships, short or longer, like between a week and 5, 6, 7 years maybe, where you keep evolving and learning about yourself and the other gender in a way that feels sane and like a leveling up of the soul somehow. I find everyone should make the experience of as many types of relationship as possible and then decide from an informed state what they like the most. You barely know any happily married couples? So do i. But i see it as a clue that there might be something that isn't so natural nor sane in that way of living your "love life".
After a 40 yr marriage ending in a spouse death I wanted to find a future mate. After some failed efforts I found the following question to quickly separate ladies that interested me and those that did not. What are the books that most impacted your life and why? Takes a while to answer that question. The answers say a lot. Obviously talking and meeting in person is essential.
@@polymorphicprocrastination5345 I think what he was pointing at, that usually he is read by tech/business people who are trying to find new ways to manipulate people. But, yeah, sure. I felt like Greene is a good source if someone is a little lazy to read the source materials, or just simple history books.
@@immers2410 Hahaha I'm reading 48 laws of Power.. and I'm in the dating scene. But it's more as a protective tool for me, I couldn't intentionally manipulate to save my life
Book tip for you Lex: How to not die alone by Logan Ury. It's possibly the best book I've read on dating and relationships and how to build a long-lasting relationship that makes you happy (notice the use of the word build, not find). Also, if you mean that your partner literally needs to have read Dostoevsky (or needs to be someone who's thought deeply about suffering and life), I'd say your being way to particular and close-minded. And on the online dating comment you made at the end. I agree that dating profiles don't provide a lot of information. But that's what first dates are for. You're missing out on a lot of potentially great partners by not using the apps, unlike most men you'd do great.
I think him being particular about wanting someone who's thought deeply about suffering and life is actually pretty reasonable. Or is that a smaller demographic than I thought?
Interested in this book as a woman. Totally agree about first dates, you never know the energy and vibe someone going to give from pics so you have to meet. In the uk, even getting to a first date is really difficult as people lose interesting messaging for a few days. I’m very much about chatting for a bit but then getting a date in so we can both see how we do in person. I feel like dating is such a mess right now. Very hard, especially when your intentions are to meet someone to explore a relationship with, we get lost with the those who treat the apps like a video game.
Dating apps are an extremely poor return on investment as a man unless you're in the top 10th percentile looks wise, have some impressive status (eg. being a celebrity), or don't have high standards. Any attractive woman on a dating app has so much abundance that getting a date with them is practically like winning the lottery, and the type of women who frequently use dating apps are generally so spoiled by this abundance that they'll be less likely to commit to you even if you do manage to get them out because they know they're always a swipe away from another attractive man. You'll waste hours swiping and messaging only to get ghosted, stood up, catfished, and maybe a normal date once in a blue moon, but likely with someone below your "league". You'll meet much higher quality women just meeting people in person and ideally through mutual interests. Even when you get rejected/blown out in person, you develop confidence, social skills, and experience that make you a more attractive, interesting man. Whereas swiping and messaging on dating apps alone on your couch don't develop you in any way. For women though dating apps I'd imagine are great, like browsing a buffet of dks. I don't want men to feel bitter reading this, it's just reality. If online dating is working for you, then awesome, keep going with it. If like ~90% of men it's not, then stop wasting your time and realize you need to play a different game.
I don’t think your guest meant to emphasize the female experience but was just speaking generally but I wish he had have contrasted w a male example of a dangerous female because it does go both ways and we specifically exclude that example from what we teach boys. I just want everyone to be prepared for the world let’s encourage boys to become strong men w loving women by their side
I'm not entirely sure he would've been able/willing to produce a male example if Lex had pressed him for it. He could've easily mentioned that if a man confronts a woman about what he sees as an incipient affair he'll often be gaslighted/called an abuser of the sort in his first example (trying to isolate a woman from her family/friends).
@@ericsierra-franco7802 Being smart or intelligent or both does not guarantee anything at all. Whatever statistical truths they come to in order to back up what we see in reality are completely irrelevant. We already know everything about how dating works, it's just that no one wants to say or hear the ugly parts.
Take a close look at the people in a person family that your considering to date long term … often these toxic groups will seep into your life even if you don’t want them these toxic traits and habits will be within your partner wnd eventually show themselves. Look at their parents and the shortcomings they have it’ll be evident how the family raises their offspring and their attachments styles will reflect.
Arrange marriage is actually good in some ways. Emotions are built after compatibility is ensured. This requires little organisation and open mindedness.
Arranged marriage was and still in many countries the norm. Practiced by many nations for thousands of years for a reason. It's a practical and a pragmatic approach to to marriage
In todays generation as a young man (22) it is almost impossible to find genuine love and loyalty. Ladies see the next man with something better and will instantly feel pulled towards him. They’ll see something on social media and they’ll want that or assume they are entitled to have it.
I understand your pain. But I believe you're over-generalizing. I know many young women who don't just chase the new best thing. But you will always be well served by being in shape, by working on yourself emotionally (the most important of ALL of these) and by putting some real hard work into your career and your education. Good luck my friend. I went from being a 3x college dropout, overweight, unemployed young man to a highly attractive man who can practically choose his mate. Invest in yourself. Grow your confidence and become a man who attracts everyone around you. There are surely many women that aren't worth your time, but it's foolish to throw them all in that bucket, because some do not belong there. I believe in you, friend. Good luck out there. Carve your own path. I'm proof it can be done.
1. don't be the obsessive boyfriend. ever 2. explore different people, but settle when appropriate or face endless cycle of dating 3. meet someone compatible, personality, religion, future trajectory. 4. online dating is ultimately gives you the impression that there is always someone better. 5. online dating is almost entirely visual, better in real life 6. there is someone out there who will have an amazing emotional connection with you
@@hahahahahohohoho5085 you gotta put yourself out there and be prepared to face rejection. But please don't settle until you find a strong physical AND emotional connection
There are always going to be people that don't take it seriously (put no effort into responses, don't reply, etc.) but I found Hinge to be a really quality app for finding something more serious. In my experience, apps like Tinder or Bumble are more for hooking up whereas Hinge actually allows you to match with a person based on a response to a prompt, which I think is more personal. I'm in my 20s and also nervous when I look at how the dating pool organizes itself, as it seems difficult to find something meaningful when everyone is either on apps or going to clubs.
"....To me people that are supersexy in real life are a lot more than their picture it could be either submissiveness and shyness, extravagant wit and humor or like superconfident" Yeeeeeeeeessssssssss !!!! Sexiness has so many ways of manifesting itself.
I would really love to hear dating/mating advice for older people who have (almost) done with raising kids phase and came back to "the market". Even though we don't need to reproduce anymore our body and brain remain same with some changes
The most straightforward path is also the hardest in this case, and it's going to the gym. Taking several months or more to physically reshape yourself. Might not get you the results you want, but the discipline and confidence that comes with it (along with a minor appearance boost) couldn't hurt. Like it or not (I don't), but people do respond more positively to people who they think are disciplined (which they assume when you're fit).
@@OckhamAsylum I think you misread my post. I'm not looking to make myself more attractive, I want to find more other people attractive. I'm attracted to only a tiny number of people. Which is useless.
@@someonesomeone25 i know right. Instant attraction never works for me. I get attracted to someone once in a light years as if, almost. It's not annoying but definitely weird.
Optimal internet dating is something where we can send videos like snapchat but with actual strangers like RUclips. Allows the expression that's closest to reality. Fund me!
The people that i know that are single most of the time its because they are looking for a 10 when they are a 5, only based on looks. When you measure with personality thats always a win even if the relationship ends. Also being super obsessive over your hobbies can be hard to take for someone who has a more balance in their lives. I think there are some topics that are not worth giving the time like this.
Thank the gods you don't use dating apps Lex, that makes me so happy! I had the worry that you were a secret Tinder fanatic or something...thank goodness man...those apps are too harsh. It is hard for me, I was beginning to feel that most modern women on those apps are really horrible long term partners.
This is the only guy who actually makes sense, on these podcasts. The majority of the men speaking about women and dating, scare me. This guy, gives me hope 🤞🏾 Lex is a bit slow on this subject with his " give me a number of sexual partners I should have... Is it single digits or double,?". Lucky this guy makes some sense.
*Best advice to women*: 1. Free, cheap validation on social media will ruin your dating life and leave you run through by guys who will never commit to you - be realistic about the caliber of men you think you deserve. 2. Feminism will sell you lies of empowerment and leave you lonely. *Best advice for Men*: Do not get married unless you want children, it's a completely ridiculous contract with the state that too many got coerced or guilted into. It's a huge concession that makes you immediately less desirable to the woman.
You're correct If you're talking about 3d and 4th wave feminists who think wearing a hijab is a sign of emancipation and empowerment. You're wrong if you're talking about first and second wave feminists who were about the right to vote and equal rights for women. Btw only troglodytes think equal rights for women is not a good thing.
Nah, getting married doesnt make you less desirable, it makes you more desirable because women want what they cant have, and what other women have. Being married is basically a signal that youre a prize. I have way more women coming on to me when im in a relationship because without even talking to me they see im worth talking to if im being followed around by another woman
You present only your opinion. Consider both of your points are incorrect. Feminism provided autonomy and freedom for women. It's absolutely essential to women's lives. Believe me the women are not lonely. All of this is just your fear revealing itself.
I wish I had a lover like Lex...!! 😂 Men I meet have no conversation, they are so empty inside, never read books Consciousness , love, nature ,art, music, etc...I mean, life is so interesting !? 😐
We need dating algorithms, that's how the most succesfull dating companies will become thousand of billion dollars companies... And it hasn't been really explored to my knowing yet... So there you go, if you're in the dating industry and wanna get rich, develop dating algorithms.
There are always signs with whom we are dealing but many times people ignore them . Some people do that consciously some do not . Anyway ... Personally I look at it as life lesson . The most important thing is to learn and draw the right conclusions . PS Jak mądrze zauważył długo przed nami jeden z filozofów - Kartezjusz : " Myślę , więc jestem ".
Curious how many other people consider body count/ have strong feelings about it. Body count/ experience has always been a natural turn off. I tried to ignore it but don't think that actually worked.
Someone’s experience before you has no value if you’re confident in everything you bring into the relationship. The numbers can be turned any which way you want and if you’re only focused on how many partners they’ve had before you then you’ll never really find out what they’re all about.
Leona J. 1 second ago After listening to the advice, I realize we're all screwed. Just finish making the damn robot girlfriend, Lex. I've got the same problem but I need the male version. How can I pre-order?
Lex reminds me of Elon Musk in that he is probably miserable doing "human" things. Dating and relationships aren't exactly things that you can solve and optimize your way into success.
Once we reach a certain threshold of confidence in AI, it will be our matchmaker. It will spit the most likely girls, with stats and all, that you should date according to your specs.
When I see everytime opposite gender as other person, I can't connect with him/her .When I see everytime opposite gender as half part of my body then it works. What I can do with myself I can do with other half part of my body. What I can't do with myself I can't do that with my other half part of body.
Sometimes I am disillusioned when i realize how much humans are driven by hormones. Anyway, I recommend do learn to dance and going out to dance locations to meet woman in a much more social and natural way instead of having a cramped date scheduled from a dating app conversation.
Woman: I have boobs. I love to travel!
Lex: Have you suffered?
best comment!
🤣🤣🤣
Relatable
:-D It was pretty funny, I'm also in disagreement with Lex's assumptions/position. Some app profiles are interesting to read and honestly it can be fun reading some of them. I think it would be great if he tried using a dating app for 2 weeks and to meet/talk with the people he matched with. Lex's opinion afterwards would be interesting
😂😂😂
Every person can be a gift. But don't be fooled by the shiny wrapping paper and an empty box. Make sure the prize is inside. Blessings for a happy future. From an old grandma.
Wonderful comment. Thank you!
Your sentiment made my day better. Thank you, and happy Mother's Day.
Thanks grams! Happy mother's day!
@@pravkdey You are welcome, Praveen. Blessings to you.
@@51_cent If you are a shiny, empty box, that is true.
"I have boobs. I love to travel." Pretty much sums up 95% of the dating profiles I see lol.
I like how people put "i love to travel" in their bio as if there are people out there who dont like vacations
its okay bro we're not all super special
"i went to a baseball game once. also hiking once. i uploaded a photo of both."
Also dog lover. Literally every second profile
Don’t forget that oh so unique trait of loving tacos or sushi
This podcast is the definition of "I'm just asking for a friend, doctor".
Son of David: What's love, papa?
David Buss: Just find someone that makes you happy, son... with a LIKELY EQUIVALENT FUTURE MATE VALUE TRAJECTORY
Lol thanks for this laugh 😂
Then Lex: “That’s beautiful” haha
David Buss is fantastic. Serious props to him. All the clips with him have been great. He's so insightful yet humble and chill. Great dude
Very nice and perceptive comment.
Sexual energy is powerful and a real exchange during intercourse. Before being physical with anyone it’s not a bad idea to understand what kind of trauma they’ve been through, what beliefs they have, how they’ve resolved or healed issues in life, etc. sex should be the last mode of incentive to be with someone.
Ur comment is one of the most useful and risk based ways to prevent future emotional and psychological and even financial pain from a damaged potential mate. Sociopaths arent born but are made and although severely damaged have developed thru necessity ways to survive the trauma often inflicted at their most vulnerable during childhood, then begin to utilise them to manipulate people / relationships to yield outcomes they feel they need and deserve, when in fact that emotional hole has no bottom. Its not going to say "recovering sociopath" on the Tinder profile
Unfortunately that's not how real life works. People are impulsive and hedonistic creatures, they're motivated by their base instincts to breed and they don't put very much thought behind sex before they do it.
Yes!
@@jpslayermayor9293 I actually am a recovering socipath lol, it's going very well
My sexual drive fades away when i get to know people better, then i view them as my sisters and i care for them so much I can't have the same sex energy with them, i know i could have some kind of disorder, lol
5:49 "What number of sexual partners?....what's optimal?....asking for a friend." 😂😁
6:00 "Is it single digits or double digits? I need answers." 😁😂
Hilarious!
People actually ask that?
I’m with Lex on dating apps. There isn’t enough information and it feels like I am shopping for a human. They also make me feel bad about myself and feel bad for rejecting people, some men look so hopelessly sad and lonely to me 😞
Lex is SO dreamy and totally out of my league but if there are more equally handsome, open, and empathetic men like Lex out there I would only be so lucky to match with him 🤞🏻
Yup me. But probably also out of your league 🤷🏼
You are shopping for a human.
@@jpslayermayor9293 Exactly. It just feels yucky. I don’t know if I would have ever swiped right on the men I have fallen in love with in person. Looks are not everything. Gross and terrible people come in all packages too, it is easier to read the signs in person than a vague profile with photos. Some ppl are not typically good looking in photos, they have an aura/ vibe about them and you have to take into consideration their personality and voice etc. Apps are unnatural.
@@kornofile ??
I feel exactly the same-it’s cheap and tawdry.This idea that you shop for a prospective mate has now become the same as car buying,just go online and see who offers the best deal and then negotiate.That’s not for me.Anyway,all the best,hope you get to where you want in the way you want.✌️👍
SEX….
Any activity that can make a human life, or take a human life, should be taken WAY more seriously than our society does….
Agreed. Treated way more like the Bible instructs.
As a society, we have lost our moral compass. People do things that do not feel ‘right’, or even worse yet things they KNOW to be wrong, just because they were told to or they see others doing it. Barely anyone has the courage to think for themselves and speak out against these immoral customs and norms we have developed in the America lead west.
I am 40. And I went from having two sets of ww2 grandparents who only death could part, who were raised when things like divorce were taboo, so forget about the LGBQ alphabet soup folks. My Italian grandparents’ marriage was arranged. People in their day followed strict courting rules.
Fast forward to today, and in a 40 year lifetime, it has come to where I barely know any happily married couples of the boomers down to my generation. Shit, it’s almost more normal to have combined families and homes than traditional. Sex has become a weapon, used in the multi faceted attack on the American family unit. Cheating is accepted as given, and many people see nothing wrong with breaking up a family or a marriage over petty personal issues, or a disagreement that would have never left the bedroom of my grandparents.
Sex is rampant and women have been made to be everything except what they really are.
My dad would have been 65 in a week. He is dead 10 years… rip I love you pop. But his generation were not on the ball. They devolved from the ww2. And my generation is left to pick up the pieces, answer the questions the boomers wouldn’t ask, and fix the problems and unhealthy behaviors that they not only co-signed, but made daily habits.
@@zacharysimone5817 I don't recall ever having read or heard anyone articulate these issues so concisely as you have done here. I wish I could memorize it
@George Carlin. Thank you!
I have been feeling like I need to start to write more and different ways than I currently do, which is exclusively reserved for comment sections pretty much.
Thanks for you feedback! It is greatly appreciated
No it doesn't. Who said that. That's just your opinion.
@@zacharysimone5817 There is a whole range of possibilities between staying married 60 years to the same person and getting new partners every weekend. In my opinion, experience and that of others i see around me, sticking with the same person no matter what is not going to make you happy, is not going to help you grow as a person, and is not going to give the excitement for every other aspect of life that makes it enjoyable. There are ways to go through multiple relationships, short or longer, like between a week and 5, 6, 7 years maybe, where you keep evolving and learning about yourself and the other gender in a way that feels sane and like a leveling up of the soul somehow. I find everyone should make the experience of as many types of relationship as possible and then decide from an informed state what they like the most. You barely know any happily married couples? So do i. But i see it as a clue that there might be something that isn't so natural nor sane in that way of living your "love life".
After a 40 yr marriage ending in a spouse death I wanted to find a future mate. After some failed efforts I found the following question to quickly separate ladies that interested me and those that did not. What are the books that most impacted your life and why? Takes a while to answer that question. The answers say a lot. Obviously talking and meeting in person is essential.
@@immers2410 I laughed so hard on this comment :D :D
Favourite book?
"The 48 Laws of Power, The Prince from Machiavelli"
Robert Greene's books are getting more and more religious as he ages. Mystery is the only one I've read and there is nothing immoral in it
@@polymorphicprocrastination5345 I think what he was pointing at, that usually he is read by tech/business people who are trying to find new ways to manipulate people.
But, yeah, sure. I felt like Greene is a good source if someone is a little lazy to read the source materials, or just simple history books.
@@immers2410 Hahaha I'm reading 48 laws of Power.. and I'm in the dating scene. But it's more as a protective tool for me, I couldn't intentionally manipulate to save my life
@@usernameonutube Your comment goes for both men and women.
Lex makes me laugh so much, he seems so desperate in a joking matter
His jokes are always really dry and understated haha
Your beautiful sentiment made my day better. Thank you, and happy Mother's Day.
@@jimjaspers2804 hey Jim, hope ur well :)
Ok, good to know I'm not the only one who thinks he's hilarious 😆
He should let his guests speak more.
As a brit I love Lex's sarcastic and dry humor lol 😭🤣. I only ever saw him on Joe Rogan. Thank god I checked out his podcast.
Book tip for you Lex: How to not die alone by Logan Ury. It's possibly the best book I've read on dating and relationships and how to build a long-lasting relationship that makes you happy (notice the use of the word build, not find). Also, if you mean that your partner literally needs to have read Dostoevsky (or needs to be someone who's thought deeply about suffering and life), I'd say your being way to particular and close-minded. And on the online dating comment you made at the end. I agree that dating profiles don't provide a lot of information. But that's what first dates are for. You're missing out on a lot of potentially great partners by not using the apps, unlike most men you'd do great.
Yeah Lex is a ripped athlete of a man, I'm sure he could find someone to help optimize his pictures and profile.
Ordering that book right now, thank you. Looks good
I think him being particular about wanting someone who's thought deeply about suffering and life is actually pretty reasonable. Or is that a smaller demographic than I thought?
Interested in this book as a woman. Totally agree about first dates, you never know the energy and vibe someone going to give from pics so you have to meet. In the uk, even getting to a first date is really difficult as people lose interesting messaging for a few days. I’m very much about chatting for a bit but then getting a date in so we can both see how we do in person. I feel like dating is such a mess right now. Very hard, especially when your intentions are to meet someone to explore a relationship with, we get lost with the those who treat the apps like a video game.
Dating apps are an extremely poor return on investment as a man unless you're in the top 10th percentile looks wise, have some impressive status (eg. being a celebrity), or don't have high standards. Any attractive woman on a dating app has so much abundance that getting a date with them is practically like winning the lottery, and the type of women who frequently use dating apps are generally so spoiled by this abundance that they'll be less likely to commit to you even if you do manage to get them out because they know they're always a swipe away from another attractive man. You'll waste hours swiping and messaging only to get ghosted, stood up, catfished, and maybe a normal date once in a blue moon, but likely with someone below your "league".
You'll meet much higher quality women just meeting people in person and ideally through mutual interests. Even when you get rejected/blown out in person, you develop confidence, social skills, and experience that make you a more attractive, interesting man. Whereas swiping and messaging on dating apps alone on your couch don't develop you in any way.
For women though dating apps I'd imagine are great, like browsing a buffet of dks. I don't want men to feel bitter reading this, it's just reality. If online dating is working for you, then awesome, keep going with it. If like ~90% of men it's not, then stop wasting your time and realize you need to play a different game.
The candle really sets the mood.
he knows how to set the mood
I don’t think your guest meant to emphasize the female experience but was just speaking generally but I wish he had have contrasted w a male example of a dangerous female because it does go both ways and we specifically exclude that example from what we teach boys. I just want everyone to be prepared for the world let’s encourage boys to become strong men w loving women by their side
I'm not entirely sure he would've been able/willing to produce a male example if Lex had pressed him for it. He could've easily mentioned that if a man confronts a woman about what he sees as an incipient affair he'll often be gaslighted/called an abuser of the sort in his first example (trying to isolate a woman from her family/friends).
After 70 years, the nerd is revealing his strategy of how to get laid
Underrated comment lol
He's an evolutionary psychologist. He studies human mating for a living.
@@ericsierra-franco7802 Being smart or intelligent or both does not guarantee anything at all. Whatever statistical truths they come to in order to back up what we see in reality are completely irrelevant. We already know everything about how dating works, it's just that no one wants to say or hear the ugly parts.
Take a close look at the people in a person family that your considering to date long term … often these toxic groups will seep into your life even if you don’t want them these toxic traits and habits will be within your partner wnd eventually show themselves. Look at their parents and the shortcomings they have it’ll be evident how the family raises their offspring and their attachments styles will reflect.
true
Arrange marriage is actually good in some ways. Emotions are built after compatibility is ensured. This requires little organisation and open mindedness.
Arranged marriage was and still in many countries the norm. Practiced by many nations for thousands of years for a reason. It's a practical and a pragmatic approach to to marriage
Agreed. However it can definitely go very wrong with little chance to escape for either partner depending on the culture
@@pravkdey In a country like India, arrange marriage is a trap for the guy exclusively. Women are always the gainers.
Lex has a good point. I don't know if it's useful to be strict about it, but having read Dostoevsky is definitely a plus.
"I like to travel."
"I have boobs."
Yeah, that's been an issue.
In todays generation as a young man (22) it is almost impossible to find genuine love and loyalty. Ladies see the next man with something better and will instantly feel pulled towards him. They’ll see something on social media and they’ll want that or assume they are entitled to have it.
Instant gratification. People are to used to getting what they want when they want it and have lost the willingness to stick by something
It's hypergamy . It's built in them.
Men do the same thing-some are always looking for better.
Bingo save that sexual energy and transmit it into one’s career as simple as it gets
I understand your pain. But I believe you're over-generalizing. I know many young women who don't just chase the new best thing.
But you will always be well served by being in shape, by working on yourself emotionally (the most important of ALL of these) and by putting some real hard work into your career and your education.
Good luck my friend. I went from being a 3x college dropout, overweight, unemployed young man to a highly attractive man who can practically choose his mate. Invest in yourself. Grow your confidence and become a man who attracts everyone around you. There are surely many women that aren't worth your time, but it's foolish to throw them all in that bucket, because some do not belong there.
I believe in you, friend. Good luck out there. Carve your own path. I'm proof it can be done.
1. don't be the obsessive boyfriend. ever
2. explore different people, but settle when appropriate or face endless cycle of dating
3. meet someone compatible, personality, religion, future trajectory.
4. online dating is ultimately gives you the impression that there is always someone better.
5. online dating is almost entirely visual, better in real life
6. there is someone out there who will have an amazing emotional connection with you
how do I get a date
@@hahahahahohohoho5085 you gotta put yourself out there and be prepared to face rejection. But please don't settle until you find a strong physical AND emotional connection
@@satmoore3381 I don't think I know what "out there" means
this guys just a neck head and hands thats trippy
Lmao
this comment caught me off guard 💀
There are always going to be people that don't take it seriously (put no effort into responses, don't reply, etc.) but I found Hinge to be a really quality app for finding something more serious. In my experience, apps like Tinder or Bumble are more for hooking up whereas Hinge actually allows you to match with a person based on a response to a prompt, which I think is more personal.
I'm in my 20s and also nervous when I look at how the dating pool organizes itself, as it seems difficult to find something meaningful when everyone is either on apps or going to clubs.
"....To me people that are supersexy in real life are a lot more than their picture it could be either submissiveness and shyness, extravagant wit and humor or like superconfident" Yeeeeeeeeessssssssss !!!!
Sexiness has so many ways of manifesting itself.
Lex is the type of guy who needs answers 😂
Love David Buss. Read a lot of his books 📚 and he is the most accessible author on Evolutionary Psychology
Nice dude, I'm just about to start his first book: The evolution of Desire.
@@joehegedus5790 great book. Murderer next door is a classic also
@@RR-et6zp I will check it out
I would really love to hear dating/mating advice for older people who have (almost) done with raising kids phase and came back to "the market". Even though we don't need to reproduce anymore our body and brain remain same with some changes
Too cute! "Asking for a friend".
Financial education and emotional intelligence about relationships - these are courses I didn't take in school, from the top of my head.
Those skills you gotta learn in the Adult World ;)
Been on my subscriptions without refreshing for the past hour after this came out....so my video still says:
"Dating advice for Lex Fridman" 😋
Lex's deadpan humor always gets me
we're screwed.
"asking for a friend".... Brilliant 😂
did anyone notice that when he talked about Dostoevsky and suffering, he did the same hand gestures as J.Peterson?
i love this podcast
The part where they talked about an ex killing you made me scared to death
The first hurdle is attraction. How do I make myself find more people attractive?
The most straightforward path is also the hardest in this case, and it's going to the gym. Taking several months or more to physically reshape yourself. Might not get you the results you want, but the discipline and confidence that comes with it (along with a minor appearance boost) couldn't hurt. Like it or not (I don't), but people do respond more positively to people who they think are disciplined (which they assume when you're fit).
@@OckhamAsylum I think you misread my post. I'm not looking to make myself more attractive, I want to find more other people attractive. I'm attracted to only a tiny number of people. Which is useless.
@@someonesomeone25 i know right. Instant attraction never works for me. I get attracted to someone once in a light years as if, almost. It's not annoying but definitely weird.
6:15
“Too many lovers in one lifetime ain't good for you” the song is ‘love you inside and out’ by the bee gees, although I prefer Feist’s version
Very, very true statement
Optimal internet dating is something where we can send videos like snapchat but with actual strangers like RUclips. Allows the expression that's closest to reality. Fund me!
Lex really went full ronmantic on this one !!
The people that i know that are single most of the time its because they are looking for a 10 when they are a 5, only based on looks. When you measure with personality thats always a win even if the relationship ends. Also being super obsessive over your hobbies can be hard to take for someone who has a more balance in their lives. I think there are some topics that are not worth giving the time like this.
Maybe you were the 5 looking for a 10
There used to be classes like that in high school back in the 1970's. We had to pick a partner in the class and take care of an egg together.
the candlelight is killing me 😂😂😂
100% agree lex. Good upload
Thank the gods you don't use dating apps Lex, that makes me so happy!
I had the worry that you were a secret Tinder fanatic or something...thank goodness man...those apps are too harsh. It is hard for me, I was beginning to feel that most modern women on those apps are really horrible long term partners.
I've learned to love Lex's awkwardness. He's like a nerdy friend from school but older and with BJJ skills and in a 47 suit 👔
This is the only guy who actually makes sense, on these podcasts.
The majority of the men speaking about women and dating, scare me.
This guy, gives me hope 🤞🏾
Lex is a bit slow on this subject with his " give me a number of sexual partners I should have... Is it single digits or double,?".
Lucky this guy makes some sense.
Loved that last rant Lex went on. So true. It's the little unspeakable things about people that grow attraction.
I don't like online dating at all.
Thx Lex & guest
Well lex then maybe you should make one dating app with all these features
Is Lex talking to a levitating head and hands?
Cute. I like the candle
for anyone wondering the name of the woman in the thumbnail is Doutzen Kroes
“Asking for a friend, but I need answers.” 🤣🤣🤣
*Best advice to women*:
1. Free, cheap validation on social media will ruin your dating life and leave you run through by guys who will never commit to you - be realistic about the caliber of men you think you deserve.
2. Feminism will sell you lies of empowerment and leave you lonely.
*Best advice for Men*: Do not get married unless you want children, it's a completely ridiculous contract with the state that too many got coerced or guilted into. It's a huge concession that makes you immediately less desirable to the woman.
Hark! All ye maidenless runts!
You're correct If you're talking about 3d and 4th wave feminists who think wearing a hijab is a sign of emancipation and empowerment.
You're wrong if you're talking about first and second wave feminists who were about the right to vote and equal rights for women.
Btw only troglodytes think equal rights for women is not a good thing.
@@greyfertich4604 All of this is good advice
Nah, getting married doesnt make you less desirable, it makes you more desirable because women want what they cant have, and what other women have. Being married is basically a signal that youre a prize. I have way more women coming on to me when im in a relationship because without even talking to me they see im worth talking to if im being followed around by another woman
You present only your opinion.
Consider both of your points are incorrect.
Feminism provided autonomy and freedom for women. It's absolutely essential to women's lives.
Believe me the women are not lonely.
All of this is just your fear revealing itself.
I wish I had a lover like Lex...!! 😂
Men I meet have no conversation, they are so empty inside, never read books Consciousness , love, nature ,art, music, etc...I mean, life is so interesting !?
😐
"I need answers"
haha
my ex was molested by her brother and I felt so uncomfortable to share that energy. Makes sense now.
We need dating algorithms, that's how the most succesfull dating companies will become thousand of billion dollars companies... And it hasn't been really explored to my knowing yet... So there you go, if you're in the dating industry and wanna get rich, develop dating algorithms.
Just ate chicken for breakfast it was so good I watched the entire video without watching it
There are always signs with whom we are dealing but many times people ignore them .
Some people do that consciously some do not .
Anyway ...
Personally I look at it as life lesson .
The most important thing is to learn
and draw the right conclusions .
PS Jak mądrze zauważył długo przed nami jeden z filozofów - Kartezjusz :
" Myślę , więc jestem ".
It is a old tradition . Think of the other person as the parent of your child or children . Make a family old school style .
10:14 There’s just not enough information. Spoken like a true robot!
lol "Cannot Compute" 🤖
With all that tech, a candle kind of freaks me out.
"asking for a friend"
Curious how many other people consider body count/ have strong feelings about it. Body count/ experience has always been a natural turn off. I tried to ignore it but don't think that actually worked.
You're not alone
Someone’s experience before you has no value if you’re confident in everything you bring into the relationship.
The numbers can be turned any which way you want and if you’re only focused on how many partners they’ve had before you then you’ll never really find out what they’re all about.
as a human I have 2 eyes seeing somewhere but past is past i focus my present
Lex: single digits or double digits
This Guy: well, I don't know....
Lex: I need answers!
Leona J.
1 second ago
After listening to the advice, I realize we're all screwed. Just finish making the damn robot girlfriend, Lex. I've got the same problem but I need the male version. How can I pre-order?
He's undercover romantic; dudes got a huge ass candle next to him. Lol
Yes, but where does one find another in their tribe? Riddle me this!
7:05 wow I've never thought about it that way.
Geez, wish this was available when I was 18. Every one just assumed we knew it all already.
You need to hang with your mate Elon more he seems to have no trouble...meet a few more movie stars or scientists.
"that's the neat part, you dont"
Lex reminds me of Elon Musk in that he is probably miserable doing "human" things. Dating and relationships aren't exactly things that you can solve and optimize your way into success.
I think the word you are looking for is autistic
Elon is probably out there fucking right now, trying to have his 20th kid with the 10th mother. A very odd guy.
Once we reach a certain threshold of confidence in AI, it will be our matchmaker. It will spit the most likely girls, with stats and all, that you should date according to your specs.
Woman: I have boobs. I love to travel. I have suffered!
Lex, you need to go big, the minimum is 3 digits! 😂😂😂
“My teacher put a condom on a banana…. Very exciting” lmao Lex’s innocence kills me
road trip?
That song he references is from the Beegees, not the Eagles🙄
7:30 That's because most people on dating apps DON'T PUT much information in their profile. Super lazy or no substance? Just a few photos.
What about Nada Surf? They wrote a song about how to date.
When I see everytime opposite gender as other person, I can't connect with him/her .When I see everytime opposite gender as half part of my body then it works. What I can do with myself I can do with other half part of my body. What I can't do with myself I can't do that with my other half part of body.
“Single digits or double digits? I need answers.” 🤣😂😂🤣😂🤣
And the “asking for a friend” 😂😂😂
“It’s a simple optimisation problem”, said the robot.
Sure, ask a man that
@@user-fo9ep4lp5x Such questions are always asked for a friend.🤣😂
@@MICMON “It’s quite straightforward. Just answer it; don’t beating around the bushes, man.”😂
I read this video titel with a robotic voice in my head
Very smart!
Yes too many options is one of the biggest reasons why society is the way it is now. People are never satisfied!!😏
Don't overengineer it Lex- You know how to listen better than anyone.
"If someone takes you home and they don't have books, don't fuck them" - John Waters
Sometimes I am disillusioned when i realize how much humans are driven by hormones. Anyway, I recommend do learn to dance and going out to dance locations to meet woman in a much more social and natural way instead of having a cramped date scheduled from a dating app conversation.
Best way to learn how to date is date Lex date lex date.
This is too general
Damn bro, my teacher did the same!! But on my co-
Hahaha - "asking for a friend" 😂
I wish he asked this from John Carmack. Would have been more relevant for us.