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She's right. People keep saying that you have to love yourself first, but that isn't how all the healthy people learn. Everyone who has told me this has had safe homes and loving parents and supportive communities and lasting friendships and eager lovers, all pouring love into them for decades until loving themselves is even easier than breathing; and I know it because I can smell it on their breaths as they tell me that I *can't* be loved until *I* love me and it makes me wonder why. Why do they tell me this when they KNOW that they themselves were loved into being long, long ago, in hundreds of little ways that I can't even imagine? And why do I nod anyway, and smile, and whip back the tears and say, 'Yeah. I know. I'm working on it.' As if affirming trust in a medicine that **BOTH** the doctor and patient know will kill me, but that neither will admit the lethality of aloud.
I just realized I have said this to people and I am someone who came from a loving home. My new and more conscious approach is to love people the way they are.
I agree with what you said. But let's say you fall in love with someone and that person makes you love yourself, when that person leaves will you then go back to hating yourself or will the love that you have for yourself stay the same ?
I really don’t think that she knew the effect this poem would have on those who have experienced every sentence. Thank you, for putting my feelings into so clear glossy words, that I can truly show to someone “This is how I feel! And I am not alone.” 😊 Thank you.
"So when I told you that loving you almost makes life worth it, I was not joking. When I tell you that loving you almost makes me forget how much I hate myself, it is not poetry. Loving you is taking all the love I could never give myself and putting it to good use." I'm shook, this is powerful af! Thanks for sharing. 😭😭😭
This reminds me so much of my beautiful wife. The sadness she's felt for most of her life. She's told me many times that my love has helped her be who she is today. It saddens me that I had to come to her with my heart in my hand, and willingly hand it to her. What I received from her is equally as loving. For whatever force it was that brought us together...thank you.
Honestly in tears right now. You can hear the pain in her voice. This is so incredibly deep and meaningful, and one of my favorite poems now. This deserves to be heard.
When I first watch and heard she hated herself at 7 I was like that's young. now that I'm not depressed I realise how long I was. I remember really hating my self in 5th grade I was either 10-11. I'm 16 now. Wish I could go back in time and just cuddle my old self and tell her that she's loved and she's precious and that everything would turn out great.
this made me cry so hard. everything down to the very ages i went through. he made me feel like i was worth something after years of feeling inadequate
@@audiras hi I know it's a year later but... The first section she's talking about her past with self-loathing and depression, with suicidal tendencies. Near the middle she talks about how self love sometimes can't come first. In the last part she talks about how someone else's love can teach her to love herself. I hope this helped.
“I have died so many times, so when I told you that loving you almost makes life worth it, I was not joking. When I tell you that loving you almost makes me forget how much I hate myself, it is not poetry. Loving you is taking all the love I could never give myself and putting it to good use” I flipping cried bc I can relate so hard to this saying and basically the whole speech.
I used to listen to this poem thinking I would never have this but guys, I finally found that love after 5 years of finding this poem and thinking I would never feel this way, I'm happy
I have been coming back to this poem since I was 15, I needed to know I could be loved while unable to love myself. I am 22 now and I found him, he’s beautiful. Thank you Nayo Jones, you kept me hopeful that someone could love me. This poem sustained me for 7 years and I cannot put my gratitude for you into words. I would not be who I am today without this poem. From the depths of my soul, thank you.
Poems like this always get to me. I’m literally crying right now but it is so worth it. Her words were so beautiful and honest. I wish that we could learn more about these types of poems in class and in school because they have such deep meanings that will stay with you.
Once 7 years ago, Nayo shared emotions everybody knows some of us never heal, so just how can we grow she made me cry, she was 9 when she wanted to die just a child, and she has died many times if loving you was a crime, life sentence would be the time. I really pray that your free, i really pray that your healed.
I love poets. They’re able to put my unexplainable feelings into words. Making our nonsense make sense. Making me feel comforted cause it gives me a false sense of control of over what I’m feeling. Becuase being able to express it is likely the closest I can get to understanding it
So when I told you that loving you almost makes life worth it, I was not joking. When I tell you that loving you almost makes me forget how much I hate myself, it is not poetry. Loving you is taking all the love I could never give myself and putting it to good use."
I wrote one, I named it “Corrupted” I’ve decided to write my own eulogy No, I’m not dead but my soul no longer lights ruefully I’ve hated myself for so long The thought of death started to seduce me Please excuse me for my mind is very twisted The thought of my soul no longer roaming this earth turned me on I sometimes wish I never really existed I know it sounds crucial,I’ve turned years of my life into partial moments Trying to forget all the pain, I started to roll up all my sorrow and smoke it in vain Thousands of times I’ve asked myself “Why are you so violent towards yourself? Do you not see the light you bring into someone’s life?” Maybe someday you’ll be somebody’s wife It’s a constant war in my head fighting with fire and desire I’ve been blinded by the flames, you can see in my pupil full of rage With tears in my eyes I’m asking god “why? Why am I still standing on this filthy planet that filled me up with so much hate” I never really had faith in the man who let so much shit happen to me Until I met you You were my fate All my raging thoughts of wanting to hurt myself left my mind Your love was one of a kind That for once I believed I could actually be loved It stunned me to know that someone could love someone like me You became my safe place, my home Where it was always judgement free The light in my soul started to shine again Loving you made me forget how much I hated myself What y’all think?
If only. . . self love is the elusive keystone of my life. Nayo has orated a powerfully emotional piece that is extremely relatable and moving. Much love to you
In 20 days I am marrying my best friend. This poem says things I am unable to say to haters and doubters.It sums up my relationship BEAUTIFULLY . To know you cannot fix someone and not want to. He is not my fixer and I am not his but together we hold hands and fight demons. I bring him birthday cake to the mental hospital , when I am admitted he calls me everyday so I don't dissociate and wander into thoughts that no one loves me. It is not EASY but knowing the hard work is worth it.Thank you for speaking your truth. I love this.
"Loving you is taking all the love I can never give myself and putting it to good use." I've never been hit by a line so personal and so impactful that it literally made me cry for a solid 5 minutes.
I've been watching this vdo from last 5 years and still everytime I play it, I cry. This is so beautifully written and expressed, can relate to it so much still❤ it's a masterpiece
my daughter is what loves me, my daughter is what helps me want to love myself too. she is the one who wakes up next to me smiling and helping me want to keep breathing.
this actually made me cry. if the author of this poem ever reads this, i hope she knows that as a poet myself, this is the most powerful poem i've ever heard in my life.
I keep trying to watch this while trying to diminish the crazy lump in my throat followed by trickling tears. But then I remember how crazy close I am connected to her words, and that it is okay to let this happen naturally. Girl you are everything so wonderful!
I feel this monumentally. My pain transcended ages too, and I would always hate hearing a woman must love themselves before they find someone to love. For me, it was the other way around and I too gave out so much love but never reflected it back to myself. I'm still so young but I know that mental distress can be a lifetime.
Once you said I had a therapist once ... my eyes watered up with the self conscious flame of a me too. That standing in front of the class room anxiety, your cries out loud we're my demons that sit in my soul. Pulling each emotions out of me, now sitting in a puddle of tears. I can take one deep breath ... thank you ❤
'I smeared my blood on every page to remind myself that every thing beautiful has a consequence ' You're good!! I've listened to this so many times now, I can't even count.
I can recommend you to Dr.frank who is a relationship counselor who helped me restore back my relationship and heal my marriage back permanently after 3years of separation.
i will forever be grateful to Jesus for finding me and healing the 'dark' parts of myself. life has never felt brighter. HE IS A HEALER AND OUR SAVIOUR AND REDEEEMER!
I’ve watched this a million times over the years, it did so much for me in a dark phase of my life, Im better now and hope the rest of you here can join me💞
Thank you.....I feel so much less alone....you dont hear a lot of people say that they know depression from that young. That they know that they just want to die at that young. That they've tried to suffocate themselves, cut themselves because it's the only thing that stops them from carrying through with it....right down to the ages I can relate. And it's so hard. Thank you. Thank you.
I had a therapist tell me once, it was ironic how much love I gave out cuz I didn’t give much to myself. She laughed, like self-love was a sick joke. I chuckled and cried at home. I had someone tell me once, I could not love anyone else until I learn to love myself. This time, I got to laugh. This time, The sick joke was mine was me. Might as well wait forever. I remember hating myself at the age of seven, journals filled to the brim with criticisms. By eight, I had enough pages to stitch them into wings to fly close enough to the sun to see my tears turn to steam, felt the wax burn on my shoulders and mold into thick skin. I was nine when I wanted to die. Thirteen when I finally found a solution, figured if I cut my legs enough gravity would let me go. When it didn’t, I tied a pillowcase around my neck, twisting like the rope swings I knew so well from childhood heard my heartbeat pound in my ears like a warning drum, then fade. I’d almost convinced myself I’d done it. When I started writing, I smeared my blood on every page to remind myself that everything beautiful has a consequence. I’d hoped to stall the clotting long enough to give myself to the craft and let myself go. I have died so many times. So when I told you that loving you almost makes life worth it I was not joking. When I tell you That loving you almost makes me forget how much I hate myself, It is not poetry. Loving you is taking all of the love I could never give myself and putting it to good use. It is reminding myself that if someone can love a dying thing this way, can hold the Lazarus of my body and give thanks for the way it holds back - if someone can kiss the scars administer the pills absorb the bad days and wake up smiling next to me, then I can try to breathe again. Because self-love does not always come first. Or second. Or even ever. But your love be the guardrail on the edge be the drawers that hide all the sharp things be the body that carries my collapsed frame into bed be the flowers you bought; because even though they are dying too they still dance. Love will not heal me, will not wipe my slate of my body clean - I will always be a woman of wounds of rope-mark neck and melted skin. Love will not heal me; but it will hold my hand if I ever heal myself and maybe teach me a joke that I can stay alive long enough to laugh at. I love you enough to want to love myself too.
I cant stop crying, they all told me i cant love him if i cant love myself but i loved him in the hopes that maybe I could and he left me, because i expected him in some way to be able to save me. I held on too tightly to him because i loved him and i wanted to love me too but now hes gone and i cant find any way to let anyone else in. And this girl hurt me, because she got out the words and emotions i feel but can not escape my own mouth for some weird way. Thank you Nayo. Thank you.
I feel this so much it hurts. I have a man who doesn't understand what my depression is like at all but he tries so desperately to be there the best he knows how and tries to support me and be understanding in the hopes he can at least keep my scary thoughts away. I'm so worried though that one day he'll get tired of it all. And realize I'm not worth the added extra stress. That it's not worth feeling someone else's pain to this extent when there is no solid "reason" behind it sometimes. I'm worried he'll end up hating me as much as I hate myself because of his love for me and my love for him
It’s been a year and I want to tell you all to hold on. You dont need to love yourself yet. You learn it over time when someone shows you that you can love yourself. I am in love with a wonderful boy and we have been together for a year now. Even though I sometimes still self harm, he is there reminding me that he loves me, i love him and i love myself. Ive learned to love me.
"Love will not heal me. But it will hold my hand if I ever heal myself."
Then maybe teach me a joke
That I can stay alive long enough to laugh at
I love you enough to want to love myself too.
@@backpacker3397 Join Best Poetry network today! We help publish and distribute the best quotes, the best poems, and the best short stories from the top poets, and writers. Get published today!
love will not heal me, but it will hold my hand if i ever heal myself.
ruclips.net/video/YexMUV3Fmr8/видео.htmlsi=RDheEaLOCB3xRJ2T
this was the one 😢
“loving you almost made me forgot how much i hate myself” i felt that
same
Bianca B frrr same that’s what made me break out into tears 💔
Same
💝💝💝💝
And then they had to leave..
"If someone can kiss the scars, administer the pills, absorb the bad days, and wake up smiling next to me, then I can try to breath again" Woah...
I know right.
Beyond deep !
Anisa Hussein 😊😊😊
Anisa Hussein I can relate to this
Anisa Hussein fuck 😩
She's right. People keep saying that you have to love yourself first, but that isn't how all the healthy people learn. Everyone who has told me this has had safe homes and loving parents and supportive communities and lasting friendships and eager lovers, all pouring love into them for decades until loving themselves is even easier than breathing; and I know it because I can smell it on their breaths as they tell me that I *can't* be loved until *I* love me and it makes me wonder why.
Why do they tell me this when they KNOW that they themselves were loved into being long, long ago, in hundreds of little ways that I can't even imagine? And why do I nod anyway, and smile, and whip back the tears and say, 'Yeah. I know. I'm working on it.' As if affirming trust in a medicine that **BOTH** the doctor and patient know will kill me, but that neither will admit the lethality of aloud.
I just realized I have said this to people and I am someone who came from a loving home. My new and more conscious approach is to love people the way they are.
You are a good writer. I hope you are writing a book or something
Thank you
Thank you so much for this comment.
I agree with what you said. But let's say you fall in love with someone and that person makes you love yourself, when that person leaves will you then go back to hating yourself or will the love that you have for yourself stay the same ?
" I love you, enough to want to love myself too... " 😔
Fatima me too i feel the same way everyday.
Literally at work with tears in my eyes smh it’s so sad
I really don’t think that she knew the effect this poem would have on those who have experienced every sentence. Thank you, for putting my feelings into so clear glossy words, that I can truly show to someone “This is how I feel! And I am not alone.” 😊 Thank you.
Yes agree💛
hi, can you tell me what the point shes talking about bcs my english isn't that good
True!!..
I feel the exact same way she does, the exact same way you do.. and maybe that's enough for a moment.
when she said "love will not heal me but it will hold my hand if I ever heal myself" & " I love you enough to want to love myself too" I felt that
"everything beautiful has a consequence"
so beautiful & brave
Amoya Reé gg n
Amoya Reé And it's beyond true because this caused me to cry... which rectifies that statement
Amoya Reé that part alone... reminded me of losing my son. I miss him dearly
That part 💔❤️🖤
"Your love be the drawers that hide all the sharp things."
God shes so brave. Im still crying after watching it for the 7th time.
Im shook😢😢😭😭😭
"So when I told you that loving you almost makes life worth it, I was not joking.
When I tell you that loving you almost makes me forget how much I hate myself, it is not poetry.
Loving you is taking all the love I could never give myself and putting it to good use."
I'm shook, this is powerful af! Thanks for sharing. 😭😭😭
GIZZZY yesss that part got me too!
i keep coming back just to listen how accurate she describes the way i feel
Low key she inspired me to express myself too on a poem I posted called "expressions of the mind"...let me know what you think
Same girl same why im here rn
@@rolandriches4287 where did you write this ? Would love a read
I've watched this about 50 times now
same and I still bawl my eyes out every time
sameee
Mikayla Holyoke Same
Same
Relatable
This has to be one of the most beautiful poems I've ever heard.
"I have died many times" yes girl
shay it feels good to know its not just me
shay
This reminds me so much of my beautiful wife. The sadness she's felt for most of her life. She's told me many times that my love has helped her be who she is today. It saddens me that I had to come to her with my heart in my hand, and willingly hand it to her. What I received from her is equally as loving. For whatever force it was that brought us together...thank you.
" I figured if I could cut my legs enough gravity would let me go "😭 I couldn't hold in the tears after that line
I watch this poem literally every 3 months 😭🥺🥺
Honestly in tears right now. You can hear the pain in her voice. This is so incredibly deep and meaningful, and one of my favorite poems now. This deserves to be heard.
When I first watch and heard she hated herself at 7 I was like that's young.
now that I'm not depressed I realise how long I was. I remember really hating my self in 5th grade I was either 10-11. I'm 16 now.
Wish I could go back in time and just cuddle my old self and tell her that she's loved and she's precious and that everything would turn out great.
this made me cry so hard. everything down to the very ages i went through. he made me feel like i was worth something after years of feeling inadequate
kaitlyn zuniga I know the feeling.
Me too, but when he left it all came flooding back.
kaitlyn zuniga only God
this will forever be my favorite poem
hi, can you tell me the point of shes talking about bcs my english isn't that good
@@audiras hi I know it's a year later but...
The first section she's talking about her past with self-loathing and depression, with suicidal tendencies.
Near the middle she talks about how self love sometimes can't come first.
In the last part she talks about how someone else's love can teach her to love herself.
I hope this helped.
SAME
She read my whole. fucking. life.
So damn beautiful.
Ikrrr😭😭
I watch this video every time I lose hope of self love… this video is saving me ❤
“I have died so many times, so when I told you that loving you almost makes life worth it, I was not joking. When I tell you that loving you almost makes me forget how much I hate myself, it is not poetry. Loving you is taking all the love I could never give myself and putting it to good use” I flipping cried bc I can relate so hard to this saying and basically the whole speech.
🦋🦾🌻
I used to listen to this poem thinking I would never have this but guys, I finally found that love after 5 years of finding this poem and thinking I would never feel this way, I'm happy
I'm happy and proud of you :)
She is such a beautiful soul.
I have been coming back to this poem since I was 15, I needed to know I could be loved while unable to love myself. I am 22 now and I found him, he’s beautiful. Thank you Nayo Jones, you kept me hopeful that someone could love me. This poem sustained me for 7 years and I cannot put my gratitude for you into words. I would not be who I am today without this poem. From the depths of my soul, thank you.
i am in tears.
We all are, dear.
“Loving you is taking all the love I could never give to myself and putting it to good use”
That. That made me cry.
Killing me softly with your song, telling my whole life
I come back to this video every so often and as the years pass it still helps and is still so relevant. Thank you for this beautiful poem
hi alexis, can you tell me whats the point shes talking about bcs my english isn't that good
Poems like this always get to me. I’m literally crying right now but it is so worth it. Her words were so beautiful and honest. I wish that we could learn more about these types of poems in class and in school because they have such deep meanings that will stay with you.
Everytime life gets overwhelmingly hard, I'll always visit this poem for strength
I literally had to pause this video to wipe the tears...😤❤️
Once 7 years ago,
Nayo shared emotions everybody knows
some of us never heal, so just how can we grow
she made me cry, she was 9 when she wanted to die
just a child, and she has died many times
if loving you was a crime, life sentence would be the time.
I really pray that your free, i really pray that your healed.
This is the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. In tears. Thank you Nayo Jones.
I love poets. They’re able to put my unexplainable feelings into words. Making our nonsense make sense.
Making me feel comforted cause it gives me a false sense of control of over what I’m feeling. Becuase being able to express it is likely the closest I can get to understanding it
You sound like a poet yourself. 💞🥹
So when I told you that loving you almost makes life worth it, I was not joking.
When I tell you that loving you almost makes me forget how much I hate myself, it is not poetry.
Loving you is taking all the love I could never give myself and putting it to good use."
I watched this years ago and it just popped up on my timeline again. Thank you algorithm
I wrote one, I named it “Corrupted”
I’ve decided to write my own eulogy
No, I’m not dead but my soul no longer lights ruefully
I’ve hated myself for so long
The thought of death started to seduce me
Please excuse me for my mind is very twisted
The thought of my soul no longer roaming this earth turned me on
I sometimes wish I never really existed
I know it sounds crucial,I’ve turned years of my life into partial moments
Trying to forget all the pain, I started to roll up all my sorrow and smoke it in vain
Thousands of times I’ve asked myself
“Why are you so violent towards yourself? Do you not see the light you bring into someone’s life?”
Maybe someday you’ll be somebody’s wife
It’s a constant war in my head fighting with fire and desire
I’ve been blinded by the flames, you can see in my pupil full of rage
With tears in my eyes I’m asking god “why? Why am I still standing on this filthy planet that filled me up with so much hate”
I never really had faith in the man who let so much shit happen to me
Until I met you
You were my fate
All my raging thoughts of wanting to hurt myself left my mind
Your love was one of a kind
That for once I believed I could actually be loved
It stunned me to know that someone could love someone like me
You became my safe place, my home
Where it was always judgement free
The light in my soul started to shine again
Loving you made me forget how much I hated myself
What y’all think?
❤️❤️❤️❤️
Got me in tears right now.
I love it
Beautiful
It's incredible.......you can speak it out
I’ve watched this multiple times. It provides me with such comfort.
I watch this every single day. I resonate so much. She's so beautiful.
I watch this everyday too. It reminds me of my strength.
paola cordero I do too
If only. . . self love is the elusive keystone of my life.
Nayo has orated a powerfully emotional piece that is extremely relatable and moving.
Much love to you
"Love will not heal me
I am a women of wounds"
In 20 days I am marrying my best friend. This poem says things I am unable to say to haters and doubters.It sums up my relationship BEAUTIFULLY . To know you cannot fix someone and not want to. He is not my fixer and I am not his but together we hold hands and fight demons. I bring him birthday cake to the mental hospital , when I am admitted he calls me everyday so I don't dissociate and wander into thoughts that no one loves me. It is not EASY but knowing the hard work is worth it.Thank you for speaking your truth. I love this.
"I'll always be a woman of wounds" that hits like nothing has ever hit before.
3 years later I still come back here..
🇧🇼🇧🇼🇧🇼 Love from Botswana
this is my go to poem when my anxiety gets too hard to handle........ i feel the weight in every word
It’s been 4 years and i still come back
"Loving you is taking all the love I can never give myself and putting it to good use."
I've never been hit by a line so personal and so impactful that it literally made me cry for a solid 5 minutes.
I've been watching this vdo from last 5 years and still everytime I play it, I cry. This is so beautifully written and expressed, can relate to it so much still❤ it's a masterpiece
Every time I hear this poem, I say "WOW!" and exhale. Then I wipe away the tears. This poem is a gift. And I am thankful.
my daughter is what loves me, my daughter is what helps me want to love myself too. she is the one who wakes up next to me smiling and helping me want to keep breathing.
"So when I told you loving you makes life worthwhile" This poem puts my pain into words
I'll always come back to this.
I've never related this much to a piece
this actually made me cry. if the author of this poem ever reads this, i hope she knows that as a poet myself, this is the most powerful poem i've ever heard in my life.
Best poem i’ve ever heard. Totally changed my perspective of self-love ‘that has to come first’.
I keep trying to watch this while trying to diminish the crazy lump in my throat followed by trickling tears. But then I remember how crazy close I am connected to her words, and that it is okay to let this happen naturally. Girl you are everything so wonderful!
I’ve come back to this video throughout the years and it hits in a different way every single time. Incredible.
I feel this monumentally. My pain transcended ages too, and I would always hate hearing a woman must love themselves before they find someone to love. For me, it was the other way around and I too gave out so much love but never reflected it back to myself. I'm still so young but I know that mental distress can be a lifetime.
M. Greene mee too 😢
Exactly, she spoke the words my heart was feeling
M. Greene FACTS^^
i always gave more love than i recieved from others too
Once you said I had a therapist once ... my eyes watered up with the self conscious flame of a me too. That standing in front of the class room anxiety, your cries out loud we're my demons that sit in my soul. Pulling each emotions out of me, now sitting in a puddle of tears. I can take one deep breath ... thank you ❤
"self-love does not always come first, or second.. or even ever"
Not me at work bawling at how accurate these words are to what I have been feeling since high school
I watch this EVERY time I feel down . She has such a beautiful soul 😩
'I smeared my blood on every page to remind myself that every thing beautiful has a consequence '
You're good!!
I've listened to this so many times now, I can't even count.
"...because self-love does not always come first" Nayo Jones.
You can hear the pain in her voice...so beautiful and raw.
This is by far my most favorite poem in the world. Thank you.
I can recommend you to Dr.frank who is a relationship counselor who helped me restore back my relationship and heal my marriage back permanently after 3years of separation.
Whtsaap him**.
+ 2 3 4 7 0 4 4 5 0 9 7 9 2!!.
The emotion in her voice makes my heart hurt.
“ Love will not heal me, but it will hold my hand if I ever heal myself “. That was beautiful.
This has to be the deepest poem ever written
This still gets me. Every single time I watch it!
A good couple of years later I still come back this❤❤
Crying right now. This is so beautiful, their energy is so strong and beautiful.
you can hear the pain in her voice which makes the poem so much more meaningful
i will forever be grateful to Jesus for finding me and healing the 'dark' parts of myself. life has never felt brighter. HE IS A HEALER AND OUR SAVIOUR AND REDEEEMER!
‘Because even though they are dying too they still dance’ brought me to tears
This is my favourite poem in the world because I resonate so much with it. Makes me cry all the time
I’ve watched this a million times over the years, it did so much for me in a dark phase of my life, Im better now and hope the rest of you here can join me💞
7 years later... This artwork still heals my soul
The line I relate to the most is the very last "I love you, enough to want to love myself too" I've listened to this at least 4 times now.
This has to be my favorite poem. I come back to it often when I’m depressed or lonely. God bless you.
she literally just read my life and thoughts... wow.
Thank you.....I feel so much less alone....you dont hear a lot of people say that they know depression from that young. That they know that they just want to die at that young. That they've tried to suffocate themselves, cut themselves because it's the only thing that stops them from carrying through with it....right down to the ages I can relate. And it's so hard. Thank you. Thank you.
“I smeared blood on every page to remind myself everything beautiful has a consequence”💕💕💕💕💕
Almost every day I come back to this poem. It's so powerful
I had a therapist tell me once, it was ironic how much love I gave out cuz I didn’t give much to myself. She laughed, like self-love was a sick joke. I chuckled and cried at home. I had someone tell me once, I could not love anyone else until I learn to love myself. This time, I got to laugh. This time, The sick joke was mine was me. Might as well wait forever. I remember hating myself at the age of seven, journals filled to the brim with criticisms. By eight, I had enough pages to stitch them into wings to fly close enough to the sun to see my tears turn to steam, felt the wax burn on my shoulders and mold into thick skin. I was nine when I wanted to die. Thirteen when I finally found a solution, figured if I cut my legs enough gravity would let me go. When it didn’t, I tied a pillowcase around my neck, twisting like the rope swings I knew so well from childhood heard my heartbeat pound in my ears like a warning drum, then fade. I’d almost convinced myself I’d done it. When I started writing, I smeared my blood on every page to remind myself that everything beautiful has a consequence. I’d hoped to stall the clotting long enough to give myself to the craft and let myself go. I have died so many times. So when I told you that loving you almost makes life worth it I was not joking. When I tell you That loving you almost makes me forget how much I hate myself, It is not poetry. Loving you is taking all of the love I could never give myself and putting it to good use. It is reminding myself that if someone can love a dying thing this way, can hold the Lazarus of my body and give thanks for the way it holds back - if someone can kiss the scars administer the pills absorb the bad days and wake up smiling next to me, then I can try to breathe again. Because self-love does not always come first. Or second. Or even ever. But your love be the guardrail on the edge be the drawers that hide all the sharp things be the body that carries my collapsed frame into bed be the flowers you bought; because even though they are dying too they still dance. Love will not heal me, will not wipe my slate of my body clean - I will always be a woman of wounds of rope-mark neck and melted skin. Love will not heal me; but it will hold my hand if I ever heal myself and maybe teach me a joke that I can stay alive long enough to laugh at. I love you enough to want to love myself too.
❤
I can’t count how many times I’ve watched this and it still makes me sob every time
For anybody that just so happens to see this, please remember that God loves you and you have a purpose in His kingdom. Have a great day 💓
“loving you is taking all the love i could never give myself and putting it to good use” OH MY GODDD YES😭😭🥺
17-year-old me would be ashamed that 20-year-old me is still crying over this
I come back to this every year and it makes me cry every time
The last line though!!!! Oh my goodness! That was powerful!
I always come back to this video, hits so hard
I cant stop crying, they all told me i cant love him if i cant love myself but i loved him in the hopes that maybe I could and he left me, because i expected him in some way to be able to save me. I held on too tightly to him because i loved him and i wanted to love me too but now hes gone and i cant find any way to let anyone else in. And this girl hurt me, because she got out the words and emotions i feel but can not escape my own mouth for some weird way. Thank you Nayo. Thank you.
Sadie Bee are you okay? It’s been a year since you posted. ❤️
Are you ok now? Im in same boat bud.. love to you (because i cant give it to myself
I feel this so much it hurts. I have a man who doesn't understand what my depression is like at all but he tries so desperately to be there the best he knows how and tries to support me and be understanding in the hopes he can at least keep my scary thoughts away. I'm so worried though that one day he'll get tired of it all. And realize I'm not worth the added extra stress. That it's not worth feeling someone else's pain to this extent when there is no solid "reason" behind it sometimes. I'm worried he'll end up hating me as much as I hate myself because of his love for me and my love for him
It’s been a year and I want to tell you all to hold on. You dont need to love yourself yet. You learn it over time when someone shows you that you can love yourself. I am in love with a wonderful boy and we have been together for a year now. Even though I sometimes still self harm, he is there reminding me that he loves me, i love him and i love myself. Ive learned to love me.
Sadie Bee I’m so happy to hear this
Why is this so relatable in so many ways.
“I love you...enough to want to love myself too”
I watch this every time I’m feeling unappreciated.. which is a lot. Such strength
I come back to this.
Income back to this so many times.
It is one of the most well written poems I have ever heard.
Yea this brought me to tears. We don't realize how much healing we still have to do until it runs us over.