80% Xaiv Poj Niam 20% Xaiv Niam Txiv. 2/21/2020
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- Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024
- 80% Xaiv Poj Niam 20% Xaiv Niam Txiv.
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I am a single MIL. I love my Nyab and will protect her. It is true that a BAD Nyab only comes from gossip. Even though my Nyab does not live up to her duties, I do not bad mouth her. Instead, I train her to be the BEST Nyab. A BETTER Nyab than I ever was. Although I am a young single MIL, I am a bit old fashioned but I understand that times change.
When my son is in the wrong, I do not have his back. When he is right, I do not praise him. I will never come/get between them. I will always respect and support their decisions. Being a GOOD nyab is hard. I get it. But it is all up to ur standards of living/lifestyle. If u want a GOOD Nyab, U gotta be a GOOD MIL too.
Mz. Thor you look so young!!!
Good for you. I got married thinking my mother in law would protect and understand me since she is a single mil also. But everything didnt go the way I anticipated. My sils and mil were exactly like the ones in this story.
amen!
Well said.
Yes, well said. What you do good to others will return to you abundant many ways.
First men understand the women in his life. I love this story. 😘🤘❣❣❣❣🤘🤘🤘🤘
Bad mouth in-laws are the worst and they expect gifts and respect🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️ smh they act like they were never a daughter or a daughter in-law.
mai vang some in-laws expect you to give and give but you can’t give anything to your family. Once you give a little to your side, they say you don’t love them but they never love you in return! The sad part is that if they don’t like you as a Nyab already, they will hate their own grandchildren. That is sad!!!!
All true... when I listen to these stories brings bad memories
@@kameelee376 your are absolutely right about that!
I couldn’t agree more. They expect to receive more but not give.
Finally a story for all Hmong daughter-in-laws.
Yog! Some in laws are always so hard to pleased! No matter what we do as a Nyab it’s always something else we didn’t do.
It's nice to hear from the guy side. I definitely learn smomething from this story. Thank you for sharing brother.
Yog kawg.
Niam pog txiv yawg nco ntsoov tias tus nyab tsis yog koj yug, Koj tsis hlub lawv ces lawv yeej txawj tsis hlub koj thiab nawb.
Gyl lily yog kawg
Hai yg heev li os
Yep
Yog tshaj plaws li
I can definitely relate to this story. I’m glad that you’ve chosen your wife and children. You’re absolutely right that your future should revolve around your wife and children, not your parents. You’ve made the right decision. 👍
When your wife has already gone above and beyond for your parents, and patience after patience, years after years, and they still can’t see her worth, you have the right to choose your wife 80%!!! Vim lawv tsis hlub koj lawv thiaj xav xav kom koj ua ob peb tom neej mog! If they loved you, they will love your wie with u regardless!
Niam Vam Vue lwm hnub Koj cov me nyuam mam li ua rau Koj.
Bao Her thaum twg koj tsuj lawv tus hneev taw koj thiaj nkag siab. otherwise u prob are just like his sisters talking bad abt your brothers n nyabs everywhere u go.
Yep, I agree with you. When the wife have already done her best for the in laws and they still doesn't see the good in her, it is ok to choose his wife over his parents because in this case the problem is not the nyab but his parents.
😓😭😭😭😭😓
Unfortunately in reality some guys don't realize this intil its too late.
Yes i agreed with u
KelC B. Some girls don’t realise that either. Especially the very needy one.
Agree
OMGosh!!!...finally a story so modern life about our hmong daughter-in-law/mother-in-law. I cried so much! I can relate to this.
OMG 😆 finally!!! Somebody other than women have said it now! This is why my mom and I so agree to allowing my brothers to live their lives with my beautiful sils .
Very true... finally a man that understands women... nrog niam pog txiv yawg nyob mas NYUAJ tshaj plaws li... and cov muam needs to know their place.
You choose right path bc they’re a lot of evil in laws like your parents/sisters / relatives. Just focus on your life with your wife and kids.
If only all guys think like this.
As long as your happy. You cant please everyone.... this is your life between you and your wife. Your parent (mom and dad) have their own life.
So true, I'm thankful my husband choose me over his parents and siblings too. I would do the same thing to him too.
This husband is right, love your wife and kids first. Mom and dad second, brother and sister third and your friends and relatives.
he is right, but most case it dont go the way he think...wait until she cheat and its all hell break lose...we see it all the time so he is right but also wrong..there never a 50/50 relationship, one has to be in charge and its sad how he would but his everything to his wife..he probably look at his inlaw like king and queen but his own like trash..every happy moment is going to be with his wife and inlaw and not with his own family..i want to here from the other side of this story..in this story he proud to be a pussy if you listen to it carefully..
Dre Tsab if you love your wife enough and if she is a good woman, she will never cheat on you. Plus this story is not about cheating but how to treat your wife right. “ happy wife, happy life”
@@yiachang7034 i know its not about cheating, if you listen to the end i think is action is wrong about he dont care about anyone but his wife and there love..im just pointing out that life never go the way you think and if you bow down to your wife he will regret it..put this in this perspective if his wife is willing to leave him just because of his parent what make you think she cant leave him when she wants too..all they have to do was move out from the beginning but there two side to this story and this man action was wrong in my opinion..
Dre Tsab sometimes if that’s what it take to make your marriage work, do it. There is a reason why the sister in law becomes a poj nrauj, she should know better and the parents should know too. I hope you have good parents and you are a good man who can protect your wife so she doesn’t have to suffer emotional pain and abuse from the in laws.
@@yiachang7034 a marriage can not be one sided in the long run will not work out, but i wish this person the best because my cousin and nephew are the same and i seen it all, at the end didnt work out..we are christian and my parent treat everyone with respect..my wife not hmong but she respect the culture and religion..she more cultural than me...
👍👍👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻zoo tshaj plaws kuv nyiam kawg uas koj yog 1 ntawm 1000 tus txiv neej hmoob pom txog peb pom niam txoj kev lwj siab niam pog txiv yawg tsis nyiam lau!!!
When I went to this private college in Minnesota, they had 3 Hmong books about Hmong people. One of the book was title something like, this is Hmong people (written by a Hmong author) and in one of the page about them, it says that to be Hmong is... "nyob deb sib hlub, nyob ze sib ntxub." I was a bit offended by this to say that we are people who don't get along, but the older I got, the more accurate it becomes.
Uatsaug rau tus txiv tsev no, koj cov lus no yog lus zoo heev. Koj hais tau ncaj nruab nrab rau cov niam, cov txiv, cov nyab thiab cov muam tibsi lawm. Kuv yog ib tug muam thiab ib tug nyab, kuv pom tau hais tias koj zaj neej neeg no yog ib zaj qhia tau rau peb txhua tus coj mus xav thiab siv los kho qee yam hauv tib neeg lub neej. Yog ib zaj zoo heev...
This story is so common in our culture. I wish in laws would be more supportive of their sons and daughter in law. I have the same story too. My in laws support their daughters only and not their daughter in law. No matter what you do it is never enough as a Nyab. My husband says I am the one that helps him pay his bills and helps him raise our kids. His parents don’t give us money to pay our bills and only asks us for money. My husband says when you have a wife and kids this is your family. Your parents are the extended family, you can only help and support the extended family when you can. In the future I hope in laws change this and support all their children but from a distance. My in laws also gossip a lot too. As a Nyab it’s hard to overcome the gossips when it is constant and after a while you start losing hope that they could possibly love you as a Nyab. Although I try many times to ignore and just try to accept them for who they are it’s still very difficult. It’s been 18 years and now it’s to a point where you just have to disconnect yourself from toxic people. I’m sad because I’ve always wanted in laws to love and it’s something that will never happen.
nic bea it’s okay. You continue to do your best for your husband because you love and respect him and don’t ever want to put him in the middle to chose. As for your in-laws, do what you can but I’ve learned not to go above and beyond because in their eyes it’s never good enough. I dislike the beating around the bush and talking around me and not at me the most. And the in-laws feel it’s ok for them to be mean to me but if I say something logical back, I’m disrespectful. So for the longest time, I’ve been let off the hook of expectations because I refuse to satisfy people who do not respect/happiness in their heart for me. My husband also understands and sees clearly what goes on but values me, his wife over his parents. Almost 30 years married!
Thanks for putting this out. Many of us nyab live in pain!
We come to the males family to love and respect them and their families taught by our parents. But when confronted with these obstacles and hate and favoritism you learn to not care anymore because they will never appreciate the good things you do. I believe to do good regardless but not to those who don’t deserve your kindness. We just have to learn to stop caring.
Koj txiav txim siab yog!! Kev lwj siab kev txom nyem koj yog tus tiv koj yog txais xwb! Yog koj twb ntsuas tias koj tus niam zoo tshaj lawm ces yuav li koj xav mog!! Tsis k k. txog luag hais kav tsij enjoy koj lub neej txhob mob siab chim siab vim lawv tej lus yog koj mob siab txog yuav rhuav taus koj lub neej nawb!! Koj yog ib tug zoo txiv thov qhuas koj os!!👌👏🏻
Koj ua yog kawg li lawm os tus nus ua koj tsaug mog kuv yog ib tug ntxhais los yog ib tug nyab thiab ,kuv yeej nyiam coj li koj hais kom nawb 👍👍
Koj hais yog lawm os tus me nus ua tsaug koj hais qhov tseeb os
Me tub aw tam Sim no kuv yog ib tug niam pog lawm thiab os. Tab sis kuv ua ib yam li koj hais lawm nawb. Kuv kav liam tsuas lawv lus sib Haum xwb, yus tsis yog lawv lub neej nawb tsuas tus nyab tsis cem yus xwb ces kav liam lawv zoo dua. Yog tias tus nyab twb ua tau ib tug nyab zoo txog li 60 percent lawm ces thov txhob cem cem thiab nawb. Yeej muaj ib co nyab ntxub ntxub niam pog txiv yawg thiab tab sis yuav tsum saib kom qhov yog nawb..
Kv nyob lub neej zoo li no Los lawm, tiamsi kv tu txiv hlub2 kv es wb lub neej thiaj nyob txog 30 xyoo...kj yog 1 tu txiv neej siab zoo heev..
Koj mas txiav txim Siab yog kawg li lawm o.yog muaj cov txiv xav li koj coob leej ces twb tsis muaj Kev sib nrauj li o
You’re right! Thanks to men like you who stand up for your wife and put your children first. Yes, your parents choose the wrong person to destroy their own trust in you. You’re doing the right thing. I praise you for your strength.
Ua tsaug mog mi nus uas koj tseem pom txog peb cov poj niam txoj kev mus ua nyab es niam pog nyiam cem tej nyab nyiam mus taug xaiv ua ua lub neej puas tag yus tus txiv nws tsis pom txog nws tus nian tsev txoj kev hlub kev zoo, ua lub neej zoo li nov tsaus ntuj nti xwb zoo siab hnub no koj yog tus los teb rau kuv os.
One of the most relatable stories I’ve heard so far. I love his message to his mom and sisters. For too long, the nyab were the villains but this story showcases the true story of a Hmong nyab. When you love and respect your son or brother enough, you will love and respect his wife, your nyab. Enough said.
Koj hais yog lawm os tus brother!
Yog kawg peb yeej muaj ib feem niam pog txiv yawg yeej coj tws cwj pwm zoo li
Tu nyab twg zoo npaum twg lo yeej tsis haum cov niam thiab txiv coj li no
Vim lawv pheej coj lub hlwb 1975 xwb 😉
Peb cov nyab 2020 ham tsis khiav tseg lawv tu tub xwb es😆
I like this story. It's not about taking side, it's about evaluating the situation and being fair and just. I hope that our men and sons will be more understanding like this.
You know what America people say don't try to pleases other people.
I'm so glad someone spoke up because there is so much truth to this story and never once do people want to say anything, but to hear from a man's perspective being the son himself and standing up to the truth. I couldn't be more proud and agree....as a sister and daughter in law, we need to see the views and be a bigger person, not behave in such a poor way that only favors our parents even when they are wrong. Thank you for sharing this story!!!
You right brother. Koj tus poj Niam nws yog koj txoj Sia thiab koj lub neej. Tsis txhob lwm tug los Tsuam tshuam.
You are the man brother.
Thank you for being you!!! We need more men like this who truly understands!
Koj hais yog tshaj li os tus nus. Txog lub caij nej cov txiv tsev yuav tsum tiv thaiv yus tus pojniam li koj lawm laiv.
This man is so right.
Finally a man who gets it! Also, a reason to not marry until you are man enough to support your family and stand up for your woman, and be financially independent...move out and live on your own. Would prevent so many marital problems.
100% yog lawm.
Me tub nkim koj kj txiv lub zoog tus kj thiab kj tsis hlub kj cov me nyuam hnub twg kj niag poj niam muab kj pov tseg kj paub thaum ntawd kj ho yuav rov Los nrhia niam thiab txiv
Koj tsev neeg thiab kuv tsev ces zoo 1 yam nkaus koj ua yog lawm good job brother
Zaj nov zoo heev thiab muaj ntau kev kawm heev li.
Coj ib pab me nyuam los nrog neb nyob...wow...twb yog nyab hmoob koj niam koj txiv koj tus muam lawv pab niam tub thiaj los nrog neb nyob tau os nawb.
You can’t have two chef in one kitchen!
I agree rau tus txiv tsev no hais... Koj hais yog tshaj li os
Koj hais yog lus kawg li os tus me nus! You're a good man.
This is a good story to learn from, you are a brave men you did the right thing. You gave great examples of how each members of the family did and shouldn't do. This is a great lesson for our Hmong families who still lives with their in laws.
It is good he can see what she did and understand that she is a good person. Unfortunately, my husband doesn't understand this concept. I went above and beyond even his wife here in this story. My husband's cousin, I help and paid for a portion of his cousin's parent and child's funeral and he did not even see what I did. We gave his cousin one of car for free because they needed it. We paid for one of his cousins to become a Shaman. I paid for all his brothers and sister in Laos for their land they live on and their rice paddy and even bought them a truck. Again no recognition from him. His brother and sister in law here, I treat them like his parents. He still said that I am not a good wife every time we have a disagreement. Anytime his family said bad things about me, he doesn't do like this guy, he takes their side. About two years ago after much effort, I decided that this is not happening anymore. Since he doesn't work anyway, he no longer has the authority or access to do anything except for a few hundred dollars if he wants to be a real man and help his family. He has never given me any credit. All his family from the USA to Laos thinks he did all of these. These are just an example that I did for his families. I have allowed him to do all of these things and gave him all the credit and his families were still better. Some of them do not even respect me and he sees them doing that but he said it must be because you were not friendly enough. After 30yrs + I decided that this is not happening anymore. This is what you call enough. I am just glad to hear someone's husband love and honor their wife for her good intention. I wanted to be the perfect Hmong Wife and in the end I just gave up because no matter what I did he will never understand what I did and how much effort it was to do this with him working. I did all of these alone and still gotten no credit for it. When I said credit, I just wanted him to be like this person and see how much I have done and supported me.
A HMONG MAN WHO UNDERSTANDS!!!!!
💯% yog tshaj!!!
Zaj neej neeg no yog ib zaj uas raug kuv heev li. Niaj hnub nim no kuv tab tom nyob rau ib txoj kev nyuaj nyuaj li no. Ua rau kuv nyuaj siab heev pw tsis tsaug zog hlo li. Vim yog nyuaj los nyuaj chim los chim mas mloog zoo li lub rwj lub aws ncys nco hauv siab tuaj xwb. Tiamsis hnub no kuv los mloog zaj no tag es zoo hlo kuv lub siab kaj kiag tuaj lawm os.
Thank you. Glad you have balls and protect your wife whe she do so much n was not recognized and appreciated. Alot of us nyab had do so much and never get recognize the inlaws.
Ntshaw ib tug tiv thaiv yus li koj os tus nus aw koj tus poj niam yog tus muaj hmoo tsaj li os ua muaj koj tiv thaiv nws ❤️ 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
You are 100% right!! You are the only hmong man who understand what a wife goes through. Old people only know how to put their children down. May God bless you and your families and someday may your families understand.
Thankyou my brother....you say it all....thankyou.👏👏👏👏👏
I want to thank the guy that wrote his story and I want to thank you for telling this story. It takes courage and patience to do what he did and say what he said. I know how this guy feels. I can't speak Hmong that well so I just get frustrated and angry and feel lost in a never ending hole. Everything that was said is so true and exactly how I feel. Believe in doing whats right and have faith in it. Love prevails. I agree with the guy.
When your are married and have kids. You have your own family to take care of. Your parents should just support you and your family. Not the other way around. Of course we love our parents but we have to live our own lives. This is America not Laos
here we go with another "this is America and not Laos" comparison...if this is America your parent don need to support your ass...be real girl...
Samshadi, your parents should have left u in laos. If your parents are good to the nyabs then you should love them vice versa.
Your parents only have one job, that is to take care of their kids but not try to destroy your marriage. When the baby bird become an adult they must learn to fly. After that they leave their baby’s.
And I ain’t no girl so get your shit right. Your perceptions can become your intellection. So seek the truth before you speak
I respect! I am 100 percent with you.
another doggy dog...lol
@Dre Tsab Aww, you wee lamb. If someone cheated on you, move on and be a better man to make your next relationship work :)
Not everyone is blessed with good in-laws. Those with bad in-laws desire good and understanding in-laws. Those with good in-laws take that for granted! True story.
Yog lawm tsaug kuv lub neej heev li o
I'm so happy and glad to hear that there are men like him around who'd pick his wife over his parents/family and would stand up for her.
Unfortunately when you're not the favorite son compare to your other brother(s), you do what you got to do to stand up for yourself. I can relate to this story in many level. I feel the same way like this txiv tsev and it's sad as a son to feel this way. I too also begin to do the same thing, 80% side with my wife and kids and 20% parents and siblings. Good message and good story. 👍
Hais tau zoo tiag tiag li.
Muaj ib co muam yeej zoo li no tuaj niam dhau plaws tus nyab li ho
Lub neej lwj siab no ma dhua kawg lis yuav ua lis thov kom peb cov tseem yuav ua niam pog ces ho txhob coj lis lawm nawb
Thanks for taking your wife's side. Your family should your priority. You did the right thing. May God bless your family!
Yog li koj hais lawm os niam laus
Yog Tshaj plaws lawm nawb
Kj hais yog lawm 👍👍👍👍💝💝💝💝
Kv ma ntxub cov muam thiab niam poy zoo li no tshaj vim kv lub neej muaj li no los lawm tus siab tshaj lo yus tus txiv twb ua tsi taws li tus txiv tsev no tus siab tshaj ua neey tiamno
Omg love this story
Yog lawm os kuv pom zoo heev li
yog lawm o zaj neej neeg ko ma hais tau yog tiag 2 li o
Finally! A stories aa we daughter n laws living reality every days life now. No matter what u do, you can't please a evil mother n law, even though you cooked 3 meals a day keep the whole house spotless. 😣😣😣😣😣
So true.. Our life is with each other and not with our parents. We need to support each other, parents and kids both. This is a topic us Hmong folks need to learn to encourage each other instead of tearing each other apart or spread unnecessary rumors to others. We are only hurting the family when we do this.
You are a very good son, 120% right. It's your life you take control is all good
Tus me nus aw2 koj mas yog ib tug txiv tsev txawj xav thiab zoo kawg li os yus niam yus txiv yus yeej hlub kawg tab sis yuav tsum coj zoo os zoo qhov koj nkag siab es koj lub neej thiaj tsis puas os yog cov tub ntsee2 niam hais lub neej kawg puas xwb os mus ua nyab es luag tsev neeg tsis nyiam yus mas tu siab tshaj li os.
Koj hais yog lawm. Yog leej twg tsi tau ntsib niam pog phem yeej tsi paub Txog. Muaj ib cov niam pog yeej zoo kawg li thiab
Wow ..one of the best story...from a man point of view...
i don't think this guy is right... i believe that if you love your hubby/spouse 100%, you should love his whole family especially his parents at least 80% , better if 100% .... cus i would love my husband to love my family as much as he loves his family too. There are plenty of love to go around, how can you only love your parents 20%... if your wife really loves, she should never make you choose between her or your family.....in this life, there is only one mom and dad, but you can marry many spouses and they will still be your wife and husband. Thank god for my loving and understanding husband for loving my family more then me..
I agree with you! I feel so sorry for his parents that they only matter 20% to him. So so sad. I don't think he's a very good person.
@@Gaonaagcua I'm not saying he's a bad person cus idk him...its just his thinking that is very selfish. For your spouse or anyone to respect your family, u need need to respect your family first....there r plenty of money, kindness (kind words, hugs), loves to go around...people just need to understand how to accept n how to give. I hope I dont hear anyone close to me say they only love their parents 20% cus it is sad.
สู้ๆๆๆไปให้สุด. ชีวิตของพี่เหมือนชีวิตของหนูเลย. สู้ๆๆๆๆๆ
Hais yog dhau lawm os!!!!!
Yog lawm nawb thov kom neb sib hlub xwb zoo lawm
Koj hais yog ler o me nus
True story. OG's are hard to live with.
yes, true but is action is wrong...he is proud to say he will live under his wife ass as long as there love..he will disown everything and everyone for the love of is wife..therefor he is pathetic fool because if his wife cheat on him what would he do..everyone he know hate him already so how he going to handle it...is this really the relationship you want where its only one sided..he will get taken advantage of at the end, as the relation grow his wife will get smarter and he will be in trouble..we see it all the time in these kind of relationship and its sad...like i say its true, but his action is wrong...
Koj xaib yog lawm os tij
Matthew 10:34-36
“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household.
Yog lawm os tus me txiv tsev yog kj pom qhov tseeb li kj ces zoo heev
Kuv agree rau tus kwv uas sau zaj dab neeg nawb.
Thanks for sharing your story. Tus txivtsev.
Brother we are all in the same boat glad u did the right thing
Koj ua yog kawg lawm os me tub aw yus pom yeem yuav lawv los yuav tsum hlub hos kuv thov tuaj koj tog ntag nawj
I thinking about your story,
What you chose
What you're care
What you do for your family's
What you doing to your wife
Was good,
What's hurting you let go ,
I am support your stories.
Thanks.
Hais yog tshaj li os 100%
Tsawg leej txiv neej thiaj li txawj xav li koj o coj li koj ces zoo lawm nawb
Tus txiv tsev no hais yog lus kawg li lawm nawb, thov qhuas koj os.
Kuv nyiam nw txoj kev coj .yog ib tug txiv zoo rau yus tej mes nyuam tsi tau ua ntsuag
Nw txoj kev xaiv yog lawm
Yu tu poj niam yog yu lub neej
Cov txiv tsev yuav tau los qhia txog tej teeb meem niam pob thiab nyab zoo li tus txiv neej no rau peb kawm thiab nawb.
Tus txiv tsev no qhia tau ntau yam rau peb kawm kawg li.
Yog koj hais yog lawm cov muam no
So many truths in this story. Its good to hear from the husbands perspective
Tus me tij laug koj thiab kuv wb lub me neej ces piav zoo sib xws li thiab..peb ua neeg nyob peb tus niam tsev peb yuav tsum tau pab peb lub neej thiaj yuav zoo
(Txawm pwm sab hauv los tsuav peb lub neej zoo xwb)
Hia tau zoo heev nej cov niam cov txiv yuav tau kawg nawb