In just a few days’ time I will be partnering with an incredible global group of souls, to show them how to break free, once and for all, from narcissistic and toxic relationships… So they can spread their wings and Thrive. If you’re looking for an accelerated boost to your healing, I would love you to check it out: melanietoniaevans.com/thrive.htm It would be my honour to hold your hand and help you THRIVE! 🤗💜
“Here we go again...” When they’re the one who brought it all up but they tell you that you are the one who won’t let it go. What makes it all so toxic is how all of it is mixed up into one huge mess. Taking it apart and viewing things piece by piece is an indescribable experience
"You're still my wife, and together with the children, you're still my family," said the Narc, the insignificant other for 16 years when I walked away and him trying to hook me back up. Never believed him. Forward 3 years after, I'm now a beautiful thriver, and still a work in progress. I'll get to it. Thanks Mel & team! 🔥❤
With any abuser:. In your eyes, the best thing you can do is move on with your life, and start to heal. In the abusers eyes: The worst thing you can do is move in with your life, and start to heal.
Hmmm- but I’ve used the phrase ‘I deserve better’ to my abusive partner right before leaving him. That doesn’t make me a narcissist that makes me a strong woman that knows my worth.
Ya same here. I think some narcissistic people say that but it’s probably more so used by the person who leaves the relationship because they know they deserve better. My ex never said that phrase to me but pretty much all of the other ones on her list he did
I believe your abuser will, over time force you to take on someone their own characteristics. It's part of their game. Causing you to say and do things that they, themselves to hurt you... then they can turn it back on you
Mine would turn everything back on me. He'd even say to me 'you deserve better' during his many discards of me, only to be hell-bent on not letting me get away energetically. He's very clever!
I want anybody who is in love with a narcissist to know that having power over yourself , knowing what you stand for , setting your boundaries puts you in a position of control over the entire situation .The narcissist won’t be comfortable letting you go in this state and even when that seems to be questionable know that they’re looking for you to submit and return the control to them . Don’t. Play you cards however you please but don’t let them above you , prioritize yourself and contact me if you need moral support . Let’s put em to rest.
#5, so true. This person doesn't like when you engage in an argument and instead calls you out on your behavior when engaging, and they end up kicking you out of their home if you talk back. This person not once has said I'm sorry for hurtful things they've said, or things they've done. They also use the silent treatment, not replying to texts or phone calls, after something happened that they didn't like. They hold grudges, big time and have zero accountability. They love to be praised/complimented.
Listening to this....I cringed! I laughed! I remembered! "I love you so much but I'm leaving you" were her words on "discard day"! As painful as that memory is I am learning to be grateful for that day....NARP is helping ....❤️🙏🙏🦋🙏🙏 ❤️....thank you so much Melanie! ❤️🦋❤️
They are never accountable or responsible and they don't make up for their harm.. They might say they are sorry but they just repeated the behavior. They are not sorry --
Hello again melanie I forgot to mention about the one hell of a rollercoaster ride it has been with my toxic narcissist wife she is a alcoholic has cheated on me so many times I can't believe it and her lies are one on top of another lie after lie never any accountability I have never cheated on her I have remained true and loyal. And I do not drink alcohol I will continue listening to your podcasts very helpful and until next time you have a good day and or night take care
I am going through EXACTLY this right now. I know this and yet i did it to myself again!!!!! Geeeeeeez the "sorry" part...... currently so exhausted and in bed and have NO IDEA HOW TO GET OUT of this!!! Oh my word this is JUST SOOOOOO SPOT ON!!!
Yup....for years I told the narc he would only be happy if he was with a robot he could program because me being an individual would make him go in a fit of rage. 14+ years of a life lesson. Thank you for the discard. 👍🏽👏🏽 Buh bye psycho!!!!
Yep #4 for me so far. My ex would always say “just because I didn’t jump when you wanted me to” and it was something simple or something that needed to be done for the family.
My ex would always say “you will never come first in my life.” Why I stayed ten years was because I thought if I loved him “enough” he would change...nope...he left me last fall when he finally started making money and after our kids were grown.
Omg ☝🏻 I love your videos- this was my life 13 years, ironically I am very healthy and healed so I would constantly try to change and make myself better through reflection. Then I woke up! I set the bar so low for him, a 2 year old could have met my expectations- GUESS WHAT HE COULD NOT DO IT! Jig is up!
Word up, Melanie, as ever and as always you capture the issues perfectly here - and especially appreciate the "cycle" of "idolize - devalue - discard" - As an adoptee my abandonment fears exacerbated the pain and suffering perpetrated upon me by a narcissist parent - If only I could have opened my eyes to this being the problem I might have reached a fuller potential in life beyond simply surviving and being the last one standing. The idolization occurred as a young person - the devaluing during my mid-life - and was understood by me to be due to MY lack of success - and the discarding happened after serving this parent for a lifetime in endless ways when my parent played the ultimate victim card and became estranged to me at the age of 96 - brought a cadre of sycophants into the picture who could offer narcissistic supply instead if protective advice - and who stole all of my parent's attention everything else that they could get their hands on. People beware - Whilst you are defending yourself as not being a bad person - the worst that can be dealt a person is being done to you when dealing with a narcissist. Thank you so very much, MTE - for your efforts to heal the world from this personality disorder - a blight on humanity.
Not hooked in no more thanks to NARP -- & all aspects you mentioned 100% they say and have gone through it ... it’s sheer madness .. I wish him all the best and the souls that are yet to wake up to this madness .... much love ❤️ and much love to you Mel and your amazing work 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I was told to go look in the mirror by someone I was involved with years ago. I did. (At the time I didn't understand narcissism) I told myself I deserved better. It was the best advice he ever gave me. I left him not too long after that. It wasn't easy, but it was the best thing for me in the end. :) I'm in a different situation now, but I know what I'm dealing with. I'm working on the exit.
Omg thank you so much for this, Melanie! I’ve had doubts and second guessing “was he a narcissist, maybe he wasn’t.” But #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, and #12 happened all the time. That’s exactly what he said. Omg so much relief and closure...
This was the most powerful and bad ass video I've come across in the almost two years I've been researching my situation. I'm detaching after 15 long, hard years, and am so broken. I have been trying to turn inward, after finally learning about HIM, and I am seriously broken, but carrying on and not giving up. I want my life and health back. THANK YOU for this incredible video.
“Here we go again” is exactly what was said to me only days ago, along with “ You just never know when to let things go do you” This was after me simply expressing my feelings and asking for things to be reciprocated. Then he changed the subject to the weather. I just didn’t respond. 3 days and I’m in no contact, which was easy considering I’m not even dating him thankfully 😅 Dodged a bullet. Have met so many men like this. Time to do some inner healing work 🥰
Definitely have had my narcissist neighbour say look how you're behaving when they are being aggressive. Also my narc ex used to say above and he also said many of the phrases spoken here. He favourite one was ... my needs aren't being met. I replied oh do we have needs I didn't know. He wasn't happy about that.
Hello Melanie good afternoon to you from northern minnesota I enjoy your podcasts very much good information very helpful. Finally getting a understanding of whats been going on for38years going on 39yrs now. Hey Melanie your podcasts have really hit the mark with me so helpful. I will continue listening to you and will message you again till then have a on good day and take care keep up the good work
I wish I'd watched this video before the devaluing stage... it ticks ALL the boxes, it's unsettling in a way. Glad to say I got out just in time. Thank you SO SO much for this!
My ex husband left after 8 years of marriage when he finally held down a job and made money after me supporting him for 6 of those 8 years, he left with no discussion and no warning....he blindsided me...now he is engaged to a gal who is filthy rich. Nights are my hardest when I feel the discard and shock.
My ex did the same thing....I just concentrated on MYSELF and healing......they divorced after 7 years.....it looked picture perfect....but being married to a narcissist is HELL..... no matter how much money you throw in the mix.
Sorry to hear Rebecca ♡ It can be hard to believe in the face of so much soul crushing devastation that this is actually a gift; an opportunity of the highest order. Id say im sorry for your loss but you didn't lose a thing other than a toxic parasite; a disease. Time to purge the toxic imprint this person's energy has left on you, from the inside out. You got this! Bless ♡
It helped me to learn about self-esteem when I was discarded and really try and rebuild it. Writing positive things I observed about myself once a week helped me tremendously.
Wow Melanie!!! I went from her 'Soul mate' and 'Full package' to your the Devil but I will love you forever when we seperated due to me deciding to jump off the magic roundabout!!! Such predictable behaviours I find stomach churning.
Thank you for this one, Melanie! I was so excited that I went to get a fresh cup of coffee, pad and pen. Lol. So, I've long finished and gotten over narcissist friendships and relationships. However, I want to have all the necessary tools to repel future narcissists. Your videos are really providing me a lot of confidence! I have to say- I never fully understood who a narcissist was, or what warning signs to watch for. I'm very grateful I get it so much better. Nevertheless, I know I need these narcissist "refresher" courses. A recent narcissist nearly used me. He was so charming and handsome, but played "cat-and-mouse" with me. His tactic, at times, left me wanting more. I realize it was good that he discarded me because I cut off "narcissist supply.". However, the chemistry was so strong, that I continue to yearn for him, even after six months! Narcissists are like bad wizards who cast a spell and make you feel SO GOOD and SO BAD.
Your programs are great so long as you're willing to use the automated version, not express your own opinion to your staff and agree to tolerate impersonal treatment by people who claim to be there to help you, but instead are mostly interested in your money.
Hello Melanie 🙏. You are a blessing to us.I have had some of the statements from my Narc. It's a relief to know This and that I am not alone. I am on the healing process.🌹🌹🌹 Thank You 🌹🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕
In the beginning you’re different because of how wonderful you are they’ve never met anyone like you..THEN as time goes on you’re different because they’ve never met anyone as crazy, mean, etc (insert insult here) as you and they’ve never been in such a horrible relationship. And then go back to the beginning statements and the cycle continues on and on.
One of the most common phrases my last narc said was “you’re a broken record”. Similar To some things you said here, but just a different wording. Pretty similar to “here we go again”.
I could not have said it better myself. They take no responsibility for for anything and blame your reaction or your character. My partner makes himself unavailable on the phone, when he is home. One day his sister phoned me concerned as he was not answering the phone. I tried also and after several hours he was late getting to my house. I drove to his house, rang his smart doorbell. bashed on the windows etc. I was just about to phone the police and of course feeling anxious etc, when he came to the door & said what are you doing here???? I was so angry that I vented my frustrations etc. Later it got turned on me, I was at fault for being angry & triangulated with his sister. Oh she didn’t carry on like you. Also he grilled me about what would I have done if he was on the floor, do I know how to resuscitate etc.
Hello melanie good morn to you from northern minnesota I enjoy your podcasts very much they are informative educational and very helpful I am finally getting understanding on what has been going on for 38 years almost 39 years 35 years married
All of them I have heard from my wife and She says "I love you but I'm not in love with you". She says " it's all my fault I guess" She says" I am just a bitch" She says" it's always all about you"
I may have not been 100% perfect or all there completely in the relationship no one will ever be perfect though myself worth and who I am has never been or ever will worth taking on narcissistic abuse
My heart goes out to you, I understand how confusing this is for you right now. I hope this resource will support you further with your question hun. ruclips.net/video/aa75ynfu4WI/видео.html. Love and blessings to you. xoxox
These videos are fabulous.. check out my book DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR - memoir/self-help... I was reared by an overt and a covert narcissist.. was a narc magnet.. I never felt good enough or worthy.. an empath.. and I have spent my entire life healing .. A covert narcissist is the worst. They sneak up on you - like a snake.. while appearing so kind & caring but are all about image... And the deal about - " I will always love you. I will always miss you." HA!... They have no idea what love is.
“Spent & paid for all the expenses, even the wife has a stable job”...”instead the wife is the money keeper, its the vice versa.” They’re more than words rather than actions & they are super materialistic, greedy, rude, dishonest, liar, cheater, etc.
Everytime I watch one of these videos I question whether or not my ex was a true narcissist, because he didn't do a lot of these things. He absolutely used me and my energy, lied constantly, cheated on me repeatedly (as well as many of his other partners) but he didn't use these phrases. He hoovered, was never apologetic until after I cut him off, and told me on our second date that he could see us married one day... but not these phrases.
@@christineherrmann205 I'm sorry to deliver it to you . I hope you know it nothing to do with you, it is his intention. Learn the signs, sister, so you are able to discern.
@@andreamagyar5541 oh, we've been no contact for almost 5 years. My point is that I felt like I finally figured out what was wrong, that he was a narcissist (actually well after I went no contact) but he never used a lot of these phrases. He could be sweet and helpful, even when later you found out it wasn't authentic. But videos like this make me doubt he was a narc.
Melanie the narc I was married to wanted me to worship his narc mother and keep my mouth shut if I didn't do what the pair of them wanted he would rage and all hell would break loose 25 yrs worth of torture, he had no father, so she was it they had a sick twisted relationship they slept in the same bed till he was 18 yrs old, and yes he would always threaten to leave me then tell me I can't survive without him that I'm useless.
Can you please do a video on how a Narcissist apologises? All I ever got was I’m sorry you feel that way I’m sorry you see it like that I’m sorry for my reaction to your reaction I’m sorry you can’t make this work
I wonder why modern society accepts narcissism as normal and allow narcissists to be free in society ? Is it because the powerful and the influential and the wealthy are narcissists???? This video is shocking to watch
On the other hand, people who are in the state of healing or processing (like borderline or psychopathic qualities) who can be exaggerated in their emotions because they are on a roller coaster often get shunned from society. The mask is more valued than the actual state of healing that is sincere and messy. It is a downward spiral so I guess we are seeing the inevitable result of those values now.. :/
Yes, the entire system is under the thumb of the Cluster B serpents (Cain's progeny). See Genesis 3:15 about the two seedlines at "enmity" with one another. They don't want you to know about this. They want the Adamic seedline to be dumbed down spiritually so they can continue to walk all over us.
Yes everything was my fault they take no responsibility or accoutabilty for their childish behaviour her main reason for discarding me was my deceased wife she was actually jealous of a dead person accused me of always talking about her even during sex which was an outright lie and other little trivial things that all married couples deal with.from time to time and easily work it out it was really is unbelievable how childish these people really are
Look how you are behaving? No Im sorry, we need to keep some for ourselves. What the hell do you say to an adult who is acting like a child throwing a tantrum?
Jehpinkman, please check out my healing program NARP www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp NARP has been designed specifically to help you release the traumas generating the painful feelings so you can heal, including the struggle around forgiveness. Plus if you Google my name and the term 'Self-Forgiveness' I have other resources that can help to guide you. Love and Blessings xoxox
Once I saw all this now I'm jist playing with him as a toddler the fit will stop if ignored or u show too bad u won't doe go pout then He does work but that's another story so I'm just riding it out at this point I have the money to leave but treating him like I ised to treat my 2 year olds when I was a daycare teacher is fun I have to admit Especially when u are fine with them leaving instead of no we need to work on us blah blah which I know now exactly wjat I'm dealing with When u have the means to leave as I control.the finances I coukd wreak him in as long as it takes me to write this lol But I am benefiting financially at the moment so But our relationship is strained as I say no and u can't make me and if u have a problem that's ur problem always trying make me responsible for his stupid decisions and promises I'm done with that and it's so true they act so normal one minute then like a spoiled bratt throwing a fit saying all kinds of crappy things uts funny now
Is that a coinincidence or what, why are narcissist the same all over the world? Think about .. do they have the same father, or are they under influence from one source. How do they become narcissist first of all, is there somekind of revenge ...? Looks like they are under others control in their mind, is that connected to childhood, is that connected to abusive parents?
In just a few days’ time I will be partnering with an incredible global group of souls, to show them how to break free, once and for all, from narcissistic and toxic relationships… So they can spread their wings and Thrive.
If you’re looking for an accelerated boost to your healing, I would love you to check it out: melanietoniaevans.com/thrive.htm
It would be my honour to hold your hand and help you THRIVE! 🤗💜
I meant to say best!!! Not eat typo powerful very powerful 😊🙏
Looking forward to it. Looking forward to actually thriving in my true narc-free self.
@@narcissistinfo9896 what does that mean 🤔
@@autumn5852 it was a typo it was suppose to say the BEST!!!!!😊
“A unhealed child in an adult body“. That hit.
They also say, " I never said that. "
And don't forget Word Salad ; )
I never said that. Ok I said those words but that’s not what I meant. You’re ALWAYS twisting my meaning
Selective amnesia... another name: Gaslighting
“Here we go again...” When they’re the one who brought it all up but they tell you that you are the one who won’t let it go. What makes it all so toxic is how all of it is mixed up into one huge mess. Taking it apart and viewing things piece by piece is an indescribable experience
Can’t wait for Thrive!
Oh, here we go
Friggen sick people
I heard it every week!
"You're still my wife, and together with the children, you're still my family," said the Narc, the insignificant other for 16 years when I walked away and him trying to hook me back up.
Never believed him.
Forward 3 years after, I'm now a beautiful thriver, and still a work in progress. I'll get to it.
Thanks Mel & team! 🔥❤
With any abuser:. In your eyes, the best thing you can do is move on with your life, and start to heal.
In the abusers eyes: The worst thing you can do is move in with your life, and start to heal.
Hmmm- but I’ve used the phrase ‘I deserve better’ to my abusive partner right before leaving him. That doesn’t make me a narcissist that makes me a strong woman that knows my worth.
Ya same here. I think some narcissistic people say that but it’s probably more so used by the person who leaves the relationship because they know they deserve better. My ex never said that phrase to me but pretty much all of the other ones on her list he did
I believe your abuser will, over time force you to take on someone their own characteristics. It's part of their game. Causing you to say and do things that they, themselves to hurt you... then they can turn it back on you
Mine would turn everything back on me. He'd even say to me 'you deserve better' during his many discards of me, only to be hell-bent on not letting me get away energetically. He's very clever!
I want anybody who is in love with a narcissist to know that having power over yourself , knowing what you stand for , setting your boundaries puts you in a position of control over the entire situation .The narcissist won’t be comfortable letting you go in this state and even when that seems to be questionable know that they’re looking for you to submit and return the control to them . Don’t. Play you cards however you please but don’t let them above you , prioritize yourself and contact me if you need moral support . Let’s put em to rest.
#5, so true. This person doesn't like when you engage in an argument and instead calls you out on your behavior when engaging, and they end up kicking you out of their home if you talk back. This person not once has said I'm sorry for hurtful things they've said, or things they've done. They also use the silent treatment, not replying to texts or phone calls, after something happened that they didn't like. They hold grudges, big time and have zero accountability. They love to be praised/complimented.
Listening to this....I cringed! I laughed! I remembered! "I love you so much but I'm leaving you" were her words on "discard day"! As painful as that memory is I am learning to be grateful for that day....NARP is helping ....❤️🙏🙏🦋🙏🙏 ❤️....thank you so much Melanie! ❤️🦋❤️
“Look at the way you’re behaving.” Brilliant analysis Melanie 👏🏽
They are never accountable or responsible and they don't make up for their harm.. They might say they are sorry but they just repeated the behavior. They are not sorry --
The bait and switch, their favorite below the belt method of attack. Here I am again the bad guy, and their off the hook again. 🙉
Hello again melanie I forgot to mention about the one hell of a rollercoaster ride it has been with my toxic narcissist wife she is a alcoholic has cheated on me so many times I can't believe it and her lies are one on top of another lie after lie never any accountability I have never cheated on her I have remained true and loyal. And I do not drink alcohol I will continue listening to your podcasts very helpful and until next time you have a good day and or night take care
I am going through EXACTLY this right now. I know this and yet i did it to myself again!!!!! Geeeeeeez the "sorry" part...... currently so exhausted and in bed and have NO IDEA HOW TO GET OUT of this!!! Oh my word this is JUST SOOOOOO SPOT ON!!!
Yup....for years I told the narc he would only be happy if he was with a robot he could program because me being an individual would make him go in a fit of rage. 14+ years of a life lesson. Thank you for the discard. 👍🏽👏🏽
Buh bye psycho!!!!
Yep #4 for me so far. My ex would always say “just because I didn’t jump when you wanted me to” and it was something simple or something that needed to be done for the family.
Girl did we date the same man 🤦🏼♀️ mine said and still after separation say that
@@christinewarren8134 for real! He still says the same thing to me when dealing with stuff about the kids and we been divorced for over 2 years now.
@@lucyg7887 yessssss like WTF???
My ex would always say “you will never come first in my life.” Why I stayed ten years was because I thought if I loved him “enough” he would change...nope...he left me last fall when he finally started making money and after our kids were grown.
Yes, bait and switch 😂
Ready to thrive and continue to cut away at these psychic chords and soul ties and trauma bonds to toxic narcissistic strangers
"I'll never stop loving you" - I've heard that so many times from him over his many discards of me over 24 years
Omg ☝🏻 I love your videos- this was my life 13 years, ironically I am very healthy and healed so I would constantly try to change and make myself better through reflection. Then I woke up! I set the bar so low for him, a 2 year old could have met my expectations- GUESS WHAT HE COULD NOT DO IT! Jig is up!
These phrases all resonate with me in my experience with narcissists. Now I can hear those phrases for what they really are.
Word up, Melanie, as ever and as always you capture the issues perfectly here - and especially appreciate the "cycle" of "idolize - devalue - discard" - As an adoptee my abandonment fears exacerbated the pain and suffering perpetrated upon me by a narcissist parent - If only I could have opened my eyes to this being the problem I might have reached a fuller potential in life beyond simply surviving and being the last one standing. The idolization occurred as a young person - the devaluing during my mid-life - and was understood by me to be due to MY lack of success - and the discarding happened after serving this parent for a lifetime in endless ways when my parent played the ultimate victim card and became estranged to me at the age of 96 - brought a cadre of sycophants into the picture who could offer narcissistic supply instead if protective advice - and who stole all of my parent's attention everything else that they could get their hands on. People beware - Whilst you are defending yourself as not being a bad person - the worst that can be dealt a person is being done to you when dealing with a narcissist. Thank you so very much, MTE - for your efforts to heal the world from this personality disorder - a blight on humanity.
Not hooked in no more thanks to NARP -- & all aspects you mentioned 100% they say and have gone through it ... it’s sheer madness .. I wish him all the best and the souls that are yet to wake up to this madness .... much love ❤️ and much love to you Mel and your amazing work 🙏🙏🙏🙏
I was told to go look in the mirror by someone I was involved with years ago. I did. (At the time I didn't understand narcissism) I told myself I deserved better. It was the best advice he ever gave me. I left him not too long after that. It wasn't easy, but it was the best thing for me in the end. :) I'm in a different situation now, but I know what I'm dealing with. I'm working on the exit.
Omg thank you so much for this, Melanie! I’ve had doubts and second guessing “was he a narcissist, maybe he wasn’t.” But #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9, and #12 happened all the time. That’s exactly what he said. Omg so much relief and closure...
This was the most powerful and bad ass video I've come across in the almost two years I've been researching my situation. I'm detaching after 15 long, hard years, and am so broken. I have been trying to turn inward, after finally learning about HIM, and I am seriously broken, but carrying on and not giving up. I want my life and health back. THANK YOU for this incredible video.
Aww bless you sweetheart, I am so pleased to hear that this was of support to you. Love and blessings xoxox
“Here we go again” is exactly what was said to me only days ago, along with “ You just never know when to let things go do you” This was after me simply expressing my feelings and asking for things to be reciprocated. Then he changed the subject to the weather. I just didn’t respond. 3 days and I’m in no contact, which was easy considering I’m not even dating him thankfully 😅 Dodged a bullet. Have met so many men like this. Time to do some inner healing work 🥰
Definitely have had my narcissist neighbour say look how you're behaving when they are being aggressive.
Also my narc ex used to say above and he also said many of the phrases spoken here. He favourite one was ... my needs aren't being met. I replied oh do we have needs I didn't know. He wasn't happy about that.
Hello Melanie good afternoon to you from northern minnesota I enjoy your podcasts very much good information very helpful. Finally getting a understanding of whats been going on for38years going on 39yrs now. Hey Melanie your podcasts have really hit the mark with me so helpful. I will continue listening to you and will message you again till then have a on good day and take care keep up the good work
You're right...Narcs aren't that interesting, but they think they are.
Proud Thrive course - thank you they all have the same traits
I wish I'd watched this video before the devaluing stage... it ticks ALL the boxes, it's unsettling in a way. Glad to say I got out just in time. Thank you SO SO much for this!
Wow!!! This is the. Eat video I have heard in along time I have listened to this one about 7 times going on 8 Lol!!! So good!!!😊
My ex husband left after 8 years of marriage when he finally held down a job and made money after me supporting him for 6 of those 8 years, he left with no discussion and no warning....he blindsided me...now he is engaged to a gal who is filthy rich. Nights are my hardest when I feel the discard and shock.
My ex did the same thing....I just concentrated on MYSELF and healing......they divorced after 7 years.....it looked picture perfect....but being married to a narcissist is HELL.....
no matter how much money you throw in the mix.
Sorry to hear Rebecca ♡ It can be hard to believe in the face of so much soul crushing devastation that this is actually a gift; an opportunity of the highest order. Id say im sorry for your loss but you didn't lose a thing other than a toxic parasite; a disease. Time to purge the toxic imprint this person's energy has left on you, from the inside out. You got this! Bless ♡
It helped me to learn about self-esteem when I was discarded and really try and rebuild it. Writing positive things I observed about myself once a week helped me tremendously.
@@karenkasteler942 I agree with you 💯 % it is pure hell I left my narc husband 8 months ago I’m finally healing from a 33 year marriage
She won’t be rich for long... he did you a favor leaving. Hope you find a true soul.☀️
Wow Melanie!!!
I went from her 'Soul mate' and 'Full package' to your the Devil but I will love you forever when we seperated due to me deciding to jump off the magic roundabout!!!
Such predictable behaviours I find stomach churning.
Chech, check, check.
Once again your insightful counsel has spoken to my head and reined in my empath heart. Thank you.
Thank you for this one, Melanie! I was so excited that I went to get a fresh cup of coffee, pad and pen. Lol. So, I've long finished and gotten over narcissist friendships and relationships. However, I want to have all the necessary tools to repel future narcissists. Your videos are really providing me a lot of confidence! I have to say- I never fully understood who a narcissist was, or what warning signs to watch for. I'm very grateful I get it so much better. Nevertheless, I know I need these narcissist "refresher" courses. A recent narcissist nearly used me. He was so charming and handsome, but played "cat-and-mouse" with me. His tactic, at times, left me wanting more. I realize it was good that he discarded me because I cut off "narcissist supply.". However, the chemistry was so strong, that I continue to yearn for him, even after six months! Narcissists are like bad wizards who cast a spell and make you feel SO GOOD and SO BAD.
Just remember that the "chemistry" is one sided and learn to see how ugly they are behind their fake mask.
@@reesedaniel5835 Thank you!
Most amazing video you’ve made melanie!! Spot on too a tee!!
All true. I've heard it all
Never had these phrases… and he is a malignant narc for sure !!
Love to all. She’s right . Go inward and focus on healing
Your programs are great so long as you're willing to use the automated version, not express your own opinion to your staff and agree to tolerate impersonal treatment by people who claim to be there to help you, but instead are mostly interested in your money.
Thank you for these reminders. It was a road I had forgotten about. Brought up a few memories.
12 out of 12. So very spot on! Very helpful.....thank you!!
OMG 10 years of everything you have said thousands and thousands of times.
15 for me. 14.5 too long.
What does that mean?
22yrs here ughhh
@@catherinepraus8635 hugs to you
Ten years for me...
Hello Melanie 🙏.
You are a blessing to us.I have had some of the statements from my Narc. It's a relief to know This and that I am not alone.
I am on the healing process.🌹🌹🌹
Thank You 🌹🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕
No one can steal your soul!🙏😘
So well explained! Thank you so much Melanie
In the beginning you’re different because of how wonderful you are they’ve never met anyone like you..THEN as time goes on you’re different because they’ve never met anyone as crazy, mean, etc (insert insult here) as you and they’ve never been in such a horrible relationship. And then go back to the beginning statements and the cycle continues on and on.
One of the most common phrases my last narc said was “you’re a broken record”. Similar
To some things you said here, but just a different wording. Pretty similar to “here we go again”.
She also says that I have a mental problem. Clearly this is projection but it still hurts.
I could not have said it better myself.
They take no responsibility for for anything and blame your reaction or your character.
My partner makes himself unavailable on the phone, when he is home.
One day his sister phoned me concerned as he was not answering the phone.
I tried also and after several hours he was late getting to my house.
I drove to his house, rang his smart doorbell. bashed on the windows etc.
I was just about to phone the police and of course feeling anxious etc, when he came to the door & said what are you doing here????
I was so angry that I vented my frustrations etc.
Later it got turned on me, I was at fault for being angry & triangulated with his sister.
Oh she didn’t carry on like you.
Also he grilled me about what would I have done if he was on the floor, do I know how to resuscitate etc.
My mother's two go-to sayings to bring me down or trigger me are 'Sorry, but...' and 'Whats wrong with you?;'
Omg yes I have … so glad your doing this … I call it the shell he’s on … repeat repeat repeat
The wheel I mean
Hello melanie good morn to you from northern minnesota I enjoy your podcasts very much they are informative educational and very helpful I am finally getting understanding on what has been going on for 38 years almost 39 years 35 years married
Omg, the bait n switch...just letting my family go now at 48 years of age.
He will always say, remember u name wife when i dont't do certain things for him or the house
Thanks again!
#12. Yup. So many times
All of them I have heard from my wife and
She says "I love you but I'm not in love with you".
She says " it's all my fault I guess"
She says" I am just a bitch"
She says" it's always all about you"
I may have not been 100% perfect or all there completely in the relationship no one will ever be perfect though myself worth and who I am has never been or ever will worth taking on narcissistic abuse
'....all the others.....'
Better to acquaint his/ her idol with their body count 😮
Yes i have...
My girl was everything to me. Does that mean I'm a narcissist?
My heart goes out to you, I understand how confusing this is for you right now. I hope this resource will support you further with your question hun. ruclips.net/video/aa75ynfu4WI/видео.html. Love and blessings to you. xoxox
No. It certainly does not!!
These videos are fabulous.. check out my book DADDY THROWS ME IN THE AIR - memoir/self-help... I was reared by an overt and a covert narcissist.. was a narc magnet.. I never felt good enough or worthy.. an empath.. and I have spent my entire life healing .. A covert narcissist is the worst. They sneak up on you - like a snake.. while appearing so kind & caring but are all about image... And the deal about - " I will always love you. I will always miss you." HA!... They have no idea what love is.
Every single one
Amazing 👏
“Spent & paid for all the expenses, even the wife has a stable job”...”instead the wife is the money keeper, its the vice versa.”
They’re more than words rather than actions & they are super materialistic, greedy, rude, dishonest, liar, cheater, etc.
Used her ex against me and backbto him in a month after 4 years, I feel so stupid
Thank you for this :)
experienced the bait and switch countless times
They are boring !
They never have any fun!
Sadly I realized this when I divorced him!
I would’ve saved THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS AND MY SANITY !!
Been through all if it!
OMG!!
I lived this !!!!!!
Everytime I watch one of these videos I question whether or not my ex was a true narcissist, because he didn't do a lot of these things. He absolutely used me and my energy, lied constantly, cheated on me repeatedly (as well as many of his other partners) but he didn't use these phrases. He hoovered, was never apologetic until after I cut him off, and told me on our second date that he could see us married one day... but not these phrases.
Classic player.
@@andreamagyar5541 now that.... is very true.
@@christineherrmann205 I'm sorry to deliver it to you .
I hope you know it nothing to do with you, it is his intention.
Learn the signs, sister, so you are able to discern.
@@andreamagyar5541 oh, we've been no contact for almost 5 years. My point is that I felt like I finally figured out what was wrong, that he was a narcissist (actually well after I went no contact) but he never used a lot of these phrases. He could be sweet and helpful, even when later you found out it wasn't authentic. But videos like this make me doubt he was a narc.
@@christineherrmann205 I understand.
We over use the term narc too much this days.
Sometimes is only a horny a- hole.
Oh yes!
Melanie the narc I was married to wanted me to worship his narc mother and keep my mouth shut if I didn't do what the pair of them wanted he would rage and all hell would break loose 25 yrs worth of torture, he had no father, so she was it they had a sick twisted relationship they slept in the same bed till he was 18 yrs old, and yes he would always threaten to leave me then tell me I can't survive without him that I'm useless.
These are all so true
Can you please do a video on how a Narcissist apologises?
All I ever got was
I’m sorry you feel that way
I’m sorry you see it like that
I’m sorry for my reaction to your reaction
I’m sorry you can’t make this work
Yes they do resonate with me alot
I wonder why modern society accepts narcissism as normal and allow narcissists to be free in society ? Is it because the powerful and the influential and the wealthy are narcissists????
This video is shocking to watch
On the other hand, people who are in the state of healing or processing (like borderline or psychopathic qualities) who can be exaggerated in their emotions because they are on a roller coaster often get shunned from society. The mask is more valued than the actual state of healing that is sincere and messy. It is a downward spiral so I guess we are seeing the inevitable result of those values now.. :/
Yes, the entire system is under the thumb of the Cluster B serpents (Cain's progeny). See Genesis 3:15 about the two seedlines at "enmity" with one another. They don't want you to know about this. They want the Adamic seedline to be dumbed down spiritually so they can continue to walk all over us.
13. “You’re the one I married”...
Yes everything was my fault they take no responsibility or accoutabilty for their childish behaviour her main reason for discarding me was my deceased wife she was actually jealous of a dead person accused me of always talking about her even during sex which was an outright lie and other little trivial things that all married couples deal with.from time to time and easily work it out it was really is unbelievable how childish these people really are
Yes!
Look how you are behaving? No Im sorry, we need to keep some for ourselves. What the hell do you say to an adult who is acting like a child throwing a tantrum?
You have been pretty on point with a lot of things, but this video is just content filler. "Here we go again..."
You are my people got told then discard month later .
how do i forgive myself? i find it so hard.
also do i need to forgive the narcissist and what happened to me?
thanks
Jehpinkman, please check out my healing program NARP www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp NARP has been designed specifically to help you release the traumas generating the painful feelings so you can heal, including the struggle around forgiveness. Plus if you Google my name and the term 'Self-Forgiveness' I have other resources that can help to guide you. Love and Blessings xoxox
A sorry is not a sorry when you kept doing the same thing its a gaslight a joke is not a joke unless both people aren't laughing
They circle talk & communicate like a defensive teenager.
Please send me a few examples that I'm detaching..love always
This list is only relevant if the narcissist is your partner/lover, not if it’s your parent.
Stop playing the victim - I heard this always
This is not what I experienced at all. They obviously have different playbooks - dependent on who they were molded by.
yesss
Over and over and over. No teamwork. Triggering then judging. Exhausted. 4 weeks out
Once I saw all this now I'm jist playing with him as a toddler the fit will stop if ignored or u show too bad u won't doe go pout then
He does work but that's another story so I'm just riding it out at this point I have the money to leave but treating him like I ised to treat my 2 year olds when I was a daycare teacher is fun I have to admit
Especially when u are fine with them leaving instead of no we need to work on us blah blah which I know now exactly wjat I'm dealing with
When u have the means to leave as I control.the finances I coukd wreak him in as long as it takes me to write this lol
But I am benefiting financially at the moment so
But our relationship is strained as I say no and u can't make me and if u have a problem that's ur problem always trying make me responsible for his stupid decisions and promises I'm done with that and it's so true they act so normal one minute then like a spoiled bratt throwing a fit saying all kinds of crappy things uts funny now
Is that a coinincidence or what, why are narcissist the same all over the world?
Think about .. do they have the same father, or are they under influence from one source.
How do they become narcissist first of all, is there somekind of revenge ...?
Looks like they are under others control in their mind, is that connected to childhood, is that connected to abusive parents?
How do i know if i am the narcissist?
If you google my name plue this question I have a resource that should help clarify this for you xoxo
13. You’re the one I marry...