You don't need a man or a woman to validate you. Only you can validate you. I know it doesn't make sense, but it will when you start to work on yourself. A man or a woman are a gift.
In the past decades a woman's worth and happiness were based on her being married and how her husband and children were. That was my problem with my narc ex-boyfriend. Regardless of his financial ability, which turned out to be unhealthy how even though monetarily he was stable but constantly took from me. His mother was from that era and never healed thus it was transferred onto him and his sister. I removed myself from the situation and had to heal.
Melanie - YOU are truly an angel in disguise. You and Jackson MacKenzie very likely saved my life a few years ago. Thank you so much for all you do to help people who have experienced this abuse.
sorry to be off topic but does any of you know a method to log back into an Instagram account? I stupidly lost the password. I love any assistance you can give me!
I have been attracting narcissists my whole life. My family is full of them. Recently, I have noticed a change in the way I deal with it. And it's like you say, I have to just stay in my body. I have noticed that now I have the presence to express my truth, gently and with a smile, what's what, and then go do my thing. I am actually sensing a bit of respect from her, though she would never admit it. I love your videos. They put real words to a real problem.
I just did a healing yesterday and saw my past life as a young lady in the holocaust yard, I could hear other souls screaming. I believe WW2 is when the evil spirits started to destroy the light. I believe that we are in the time that our souls are now waking up and fighting back. The more we all heal and bring in the light, the stronger we will be and the darkness of this world will flee. The truth shall set you free. We need more light. I joined up for the Thrive program and am so excited as i need more healing. Be strong everyone and soak in the light. 🙏🙏🙏💞💞💞 God, source, creation is inside you and you are so loved.
Diamonds Shine, I'm so thrilled for you that are you are on your healing path. That's so exciting and I can't wait to connect with you in the Thrive program! Love and Blessings xoxox
Jesus Christ is GOD. There is no such thing as "God source" and Jesus Christ is at the right hand of the Father in Heaven. IF you know Him in Truth, you have the Holy Spirit in you. And there is no such thing as reincarnation....."It is appointed unto man once to die, and then the judgment." Hebrews 9:27 Demons can insert false memories into your mind of the past to deceive you.
I get it. I am triggered by feeling abandoned. And so I keep that energy exchange open. I need to cut it off. I need to know that I don’t deserve to be abandoned and when I am abandoned I need to be ok with walking away.
I just wanna say this because I hope it sets someone free. A lot of the trauma childhood or later that you've experienced is because a narcissist got to you early in life. Made you feel unworthy or gave you abandonment wounds so they could steal your energy at a young age. It's sad but true... they care for no one but themselves. I hate that that is the side of life we know
Unfortunately my mother was extremely narcissistic I didn’t know that back then and of course it was your mother you had to stay quiet and respect her but she was so verbally and emotionally abusive and I remember one time at seven years old she would not come and put me to bed I wanted her so badly to kiss me good night but she refused because she was so angry at me for sitting on the floor with my sister-in-law watching a movie and I wouldn’t get up off the floor and sit on the rocking chair with my mom and because of that I was sent to bed alone and I’ll never forget that pain and crying for her and everyone came into my room trying to console me my grandma my sisters and I just cried and cried for my mother and she never ever came and I make sure now with my children that I always was there for them even if I was angry at their behavior I always went to them and kiss them good night and hug them and told them I love them but it left a huge wound of abandonment and me and my mother rest her soul was a wonderful person and would do anything to help me but she had a Darkside unfortunately and each time I go to heal this scenario comes up and it’s getting easier and easier to except and let go!!!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻♥️
@@theresaalbano4363 hey I was just thinking about this how a thought can come into your head and take you back to pain. Both my parents were narcisstic and I'm still in recovery too. I do the same thing with my son. When I'm mad t something he did I'm just like I let little things go so quickly instead of holding on to that and trying to make it worse. I let go in seconds cause I'm not bout to do my baby no harm. That's what my mom always did. I remember my little brother went to my aunt's house and stayed the night and he told me she had got mad at him that night so when he got up the next day he was still expecting her to be upset. But she wasn't and it surprised him. If that would have been my mom she would be mad as fire the next day. My mom would hold on to things for years lol. I'm just healing over it now because I realize they were really broken souls and broken souls and healthy souls cant really relate. Mrs. Melanie tho she speaks the truth about the healing and going to your past self and really feeling what happened in the moment. You can see how the child in you was thinking and feeling and then you can use your adult mind to be like dang they did me wrong lol and move on cause you can see how it really hurt you and WHY it hurt. But anyways love you these Narcissist are a mess
The malignant narcissist alcoholic ex I divorced is sadistic .he’s not only the cause of the pain and trauma you are trying to heal from but he comes back over and over and kicks you further down his dark hole as he’s smirking feeling proud and powerful slithering away
I believe I understand. I haven't had much experience with intimate relationships sadly despite being in my 40s but I do have a fear of abandonment, of people thinking badly about me and have a hangup about no one caring about me. So plenty of inner work to potentially do.
Yes, when I tried to leave the first time. He yelled angry words shaming me for thinking that way. Then bringing up decade old behavior of me comparing his recent actions.
@@heatherk.7904 Year's ago your behavior more than likely wasn't that bad, or even bad at all. It's the narcs perception that's very misconstrued. Since narcs are stuck in the past, they want to hold others to the past. And somehow he's justifying his actions based on his twisted perceived view, of you in the past. 🙂
@@Houseitch Meds don't even help narcs, I know a covert that has some kind of meds. He drank alcohol and was mumbling and fumbling, like a really sad weird freak. 😂
Oooh this video is warm tea for my soul 'dont give away your boundaries' this really is the basis isn't it. Often narcs take you on a a head rush journey, busy busy, they don't give you a moment to take a step back and see whats happening, your so right Mel, those boundaries needs to be Solid . Thank you for this video. X
Melanie I got it. This is why I attracted a Narcissist. My Mother went into depression due to mistreatment from My. As I have heard from videos, it's ancestry. Now that I know, I am going inside,, actually now I am planning to leave the Narc. Thank You Melanie ❤️🙏🙏🙏💞💕💕
Mel, I GET IT! I am pretty much done with the abandonment crap and doing way better on thinking it is my job to change others ways of thinking.😅🤣😂I am working diligently on trying to stay in the moment and not fall back into wasting time on cognitive dissonance bs. Thank you soooo much. 🤗
Thank you so much for the examples. I was able to understand and translate it into my own life. I also was getting triggered by my ex-boyfriend telling me to leave his house when we'd have a disagreement, or him walking away and giving me the silent treatment when he didn't agree with something I said. After watching this video, I made a promise to myself to not allow this cycle to continue and to stand up for myself. When I was recently telling him about how I felt after hearing something, he told me that he wanted to take a break from our relationship. Instead of reacting and begging, I told him it didn't have to be a break and could be permanent. Thank you!
Melanie I get it. I ended my realatuonship last night with a very toxic guy. The things that hurt me the most he deliberately would do. I deserve better. You have gave me so many answers. Thank you so much!
11:10 I once was also delivered and felt like a different person who had just jumped out of a former person. And a new adult me appeared. I was like in sacred space, full of energy, even my body healed like in seconds. But out of the blue within 30 minutes of this miracle my abusers called on a phone, and they somehow managed to pull me back in the older abused self.and the newly born adult me just dissipated. Years have passed since then and I don’t know how to repeat the deliverance. PS hello from Siberia. I feel like Neo from the Matrix before he got the metal electrode removed from his occipital area. Every time I am criticised I get pain sent to the back of my head.
MEL, I GET IT! it's been a long time coming, but I absolutely get it and now it's time for me to heal and thrive. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. 💕🙂
Beautiful Mel I Get it 💕 I'm mostly free 90% but I'm still working on me in a Healthy way, I'm happy and safe in my body 🙏🏾💕 blessings have a beautiful holiday
Before that however I felt resentment which I kept fighting as I thought it was negative behaviour then like you mentioned resentment towards narcissist repulsion kicked in along with more and then the code above it was a sigh of relief and I felt free, all the other narcissist and my family poisoned and kids who are innocent and have no idea as to what is going on as my sister who suffers from low self esteem and the narc gang have tranced her it’s to do with me not converting to Islam and them wanting to control my life and feel they have the right to punish me and my sister for years has been brainwashing my kids by the time it got clear my kids were tranced against me , so dealing with this is still ok, the main narcissist who was trying to spiritually destroy me is gone and I’m free like I actually feel like I have wings and I can fly x :) 🙏🏼
Everyone has a right to feel , I feel and believe in God there’s always been God a life force energy guarding me and guiding me and it can’t be described in words it’s beyond words 🙏🏼
@@MelanieToniaEvans Thank you 🙏🏼 for sharing your experiences and blessings and happiness and the inspiration is what gives ppl positive uplifting Thank you 🙏🏼
I get it! I am doing much better after doing modules 1-4 of NARP!! In just a few months, I feel like I have a foothold...a stable one...that isnt sliding back into depression, fear, panic, worry, etc. about the narc situation. I feel like I am getting my SELF and SOUL and SPIRIT back! Still a ways to go... but the convenience of working at NARP at my own pace, has given me the incentive to keep going, especially since I have felt the relief since the very beginning. I am excited to keep taking my empowerment and healing to the next level with the new THRIVE program coming up in May! Thank you so much, Melanie, for all yu do and have done ....for all of those suffering from narcissistic abuse! You are an angel!!
Hi Kelli, I love that you're a NARPer and getting so much your healing darling lady! I'm so excited and look forward to connecting with you in my upcoming THRIVE program, yaya! You are such a Thriver Kelli! Love and Blessings xoxox
I am no contact with ALL narcissists. I'm practically a hermit now. My problem is internal rage that never seems to go away. It will go onto a "back burner" for a while and then suddenly, there it is again. And I always direct the anger onto myself, just as the narc's trained me to do.
I get it. Thank you for the flashlight. There the behavior from the beginning and did not change for 5 years. I finally unplugged. You have helped me with the hurt from the betrayals.
The narc showed his true identity on our honeymoon, actually “discarded” me on the 2nd day by throwing our room key at me and leaving me on the beach. I was able to get an annulment a year and a half later, after finding your NARP and healing all the way thru the court proceedings. It’s been 9 years now!! 🤗❤️
Hi Melanie! I GET IT! The video today about abandonment is so timely and perfect! Today I wrote into the forum after I did the SH&R....My fear of abandonment came to the surface! And then your story about Peter I am living! Oh my gosh, this is sometimes amazing! I also very easily could identify with the adultery portion of this video as I have had two adulteresses in my life. Strangely, this is not upsetting tonight to listen to this! I was having a very tearful time after doing SH&R....I think that all the work that I've been doing and all the help that I've been getting from the members in NARP has really helped so very much and of course, your videos are so so so helpful.... thank you so much, Melanie, and for NARP. ❤️🙏🕊🦋❤️
I get it. Last night was Easter dinner with my parents and extended family. My mother set up a situation where if I didn't act a very specific way, she could accuse me of being ungrateful or unloving. I fell apart inside and was a puddle by the end of the night. I felt guilty because I struggled to hide my sadness from my precious 2 y/o son. I couldn't understand why I had this reaction. I now understand it's the fear of being wrongly accused that's she's using against me. Back to Module 1 tonight :) I validate and bless this feeling and will work on it straight away this evening. Thanks, Mel 🙏
Very good advice in the video, and yes, the narcs most definitely load their guns with your pain and what they know will hurt you. They acquire this information from you in the love bombing phase, then they start pulling the trigger when you East expect it or when they feel they have gained your complete trust and love, of course…. Which is why their first bullet is so devastatingly painful, shocking, and mind crippling. It’s downright sadistic, and incredibly difficult to recover from it, even for those who are lucky to escape them and leave their narc with a loaded gun and drooling over using it on their next target or what many refer to as “narcissistic supply.” To add insult to the injury, the mental health system is not equipped with licensed therapist that are well versed on this topic, therefore the survivors of this atrocious trauma to the brain are left hanging by a noose and feeling helpless and that there is no way out nor a cure for what they’ve experienced. Narcissism and narcissistic abuse is learned behavior, another mind bending fact, but the cure for it starts with “you” the survivors and God.
Sweetheart, please considering joining me in my next healing webinar where I will show how you can begin to heal and come home to yourself and heal as you deserve to live a life outside of this pain and terror. melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings xoxox
Thanks Mel, if I hadn't done your NARP programme - started in September 2020, I don't think I would have understood any of these behaviours and how to heal. COVID and you literally saved my life (but not my hair)! Still healing, still moving forward, but experience difficult days. I'll get there xx
I have been being harassed by a group of narcissists questioning me over and over again about something with accusations of wrong doing that I had nothing to do with, then later a neutral party will mention something vaguely related and your first reaction is to defend yourself against the past accusations thus making the neutral party think you have a guilty conscious since you started defending yourself against something they did not ask about. It is like putting a seed in your mind that you jump to defend yourself, thus making you look guilty. Is there a Psychologists term for this and a way to prevent them setting that "seed" in your mind? Seems they are trying to get me to frame myself.
It's a form of hypervigilance. Narc's cause you to be hyper defensive because dealing with them is like being in a constant war zone. You are like a soldier coming out of the jungle in Vietnam, still very defensive. And yes they are very cunning and devious, knowing exactly which of your buttons to push (because they are controlled by demons).
This is beautiful! Thank you for explaining it so clearly. I would LOVE it if you could help apply these lessons to narcissistic mothers-in-law. I believe the principles are exactly the same, but the dynamics are very different. I can't leave her like I could leave a man in a relationship. How can I stop letting her create strife in my marriage? And now that I've gone no contact and finally gotten my husband to (mostly) agree to let me keep the children away, how do I let go of the hurt, pain, and resentment for the horrible things she has done and continues to do? How do I keep her from contacting and attempting to triangulate my children? How do I stop worrying about the future?
Hi Michelle hun. Please know that although the dynamics are unique, the healing 'formula' is exact and the same regardless of who the narcissist in your experience is. Please check out my healing program NARP www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp for more information and I'd love you to join me in my free healing webinar melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar so I can explain more fully and take you through the healing process so you can experience it personally. You'll gain more clarity by having a lived experience of the healing process to understand how the 'outside' or who is triggering you is practically irrelevant which is totally empowering! I hope you will join me! Love and Blessings xoxox
Some mothers in law are two legged serpents, and the worst thing is when your spouse takes their side instead of yours when they are treating you like garbage.
I stood by my boundaries with the latest one and not only did he show up at my residence screaming at the top of his lungs, he broke my apartment door in. Since I refused to have anything to do with him when he showed up with hickeys all over his neck (from an ex of 4 yrs ago who he used to be drug addicted with). He cleaned up but she hadn't, he'd lied so much I'd come to find out now, behind my back, about others that I'm still unsure of the fact from fiction. He proudly let me know they were having unprotected sex etc, meanwhile I'm 9 months pregnant with his kid. He made it clear that was what he was off doing while I was doing everything to prepare for this baby on my own. A baby/family he convinced me he wanted. Disturbing and delusional, not much different than a shameless psychopath really. Now he's legally bound from going near or contacting me until 2023. I even have to change addresses so that he has no possibility to breech by showing up when he feels like it despite consequence. There is no remorse either, he isn't capable regardless of the outcome. When they lean closer on the spectrum towards sociopathy(ASPD)/psychopathy(which is what narcissism is fueled by), take precaution. These 'men' can be dangerous and unpredictable. He said he didn't like that I was 'unemotional' when attempting to justify his actions of attempting discard/ghosting for a week when I detached myself from the relationship. I was like that for a reason because I don't give empathy to those that have none for me. I'm guessing he assumed he was going to get away with harassing me, that he'd ever have a chance of getting me back after all that (which he told police that's what he was trying to do meanwhile showcasing hickeys on his neck from ex), well he didn't read me too well at all. I hope I never have to see/deal with that guy again. No court in their right mind would grant him parental rights when he poses that much of a threat to me. The charges were pressed by the police (this is not even a restraining order which is something you have to personally apply for). He was arrested and only released from jail under contract that he agree to terms of those conditions to stay the hell out of my life. One breech is a serious offence that will land him back in jail. If I wasn't about to raise a son, I'd probably dislike men at this point in my life. It's rough knowing my son partially comes from him but it's not his fault. I'm disappointed for him about who his sperm donor is and trying to figure out how to answer questions when he's older in a way that keeps him protected from the disturbing details of what his 'father' is. On that front no one 'wins'.
I was keeping explain, trying to proof that I am ok. Handing power, decisions, money, emails, access to my ltd and so on. To proof my loyalty. Then he replaced me with older rich widow. Still blaming me. Bezair.
I remind I was terrified as well. He would telling me marriage is finish he os going , he will destroy my property and take my children away. And he will find psychiatrist against me and nobody will believe me. Then shut the door very loudely. Next day the same.
Can someone please advice me? The other day I saw something my ex narc MIL wrote on Fb (I blocked her but we have friends in common. she made a horrible comment about me (in a very covert way of course) but overtly talking about me and how I alienated my son from her son and her and how much she missed her grandson (nothing further from the truth of course). she did this in a post that a friend of mine put on fb about her baby. My ex Mil knows her too and she took advantage immediately to smear me publicly on my friend’s post to gain sympathy. I feel people believe her and makes me really angry and sad that i was the one who suffered so much at the hands of this monster! And she’s out there pretending to be the victim… Now that I was able to protect my son from this horrible family she keeps writing very private things about me publicly on FB. Do you think I should answer her comments and put a stop to it once in for all?? Or should I just ignore her? I know narcs do this all the time but just hate to loose people because of her!! What do you think it’s the best way to deal with this? Thank you!!
I married my husband 8 years ago and he was enmeshed with his mother and obsessed with his ex wife. I didn’t see any of this until after we were married and he totally changed. I worked so hard to love him hoping he would love me but after 8 years he left me. I’m trying to pick myself up and pull out of the shock. He is in a rebound relationship saying that we never worked because of MY trauma.I am in freeze right now...I’ve never felt so betrayed and so much pain. I am derailed right now and have been for months...I would love your help. He cheated on me twice.
Sweetheart I know how truly painful and difficult this is for you right now, big hugs. My highest suggestion of help is that you join my free healing webinar as I will show how you can begin to heal your inner wounds and trauma so that you can heal, creating the life you so deserve and desire. melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings xoxox
Yep!! I get it and I’m still figure it out a few things of my childhood my mother and father were together for 35 years my father died very young at 58 years old I was 18 years old and I had to do CPR on my own father and I could not save him but as a child I remember him watching pornographic movies on 8 mm film and remember my mother mentioning later on in life that because he was on so many nitroglycerin tabs he wanted to still enjoy sex life with my mother and these films were helping them and to this day I’m still trying to work out my feelings and how my narcissistic relationships and last husband were so addicted to pornography and I always felt that I was never enough for them sexually even though I was having sex every day if not twice a day with my husband he still had to cheat lie and resort to pornography and masturbation so what it has to come down for me is acceptance that this is about them and how they are and I have to stay in my own being and work on my traumas accept what happen in my childhood and disregarded as it’s not something I am and like I don’t have to be like my mother. and I can set boundaries especially when it comes to abandonment and infidelity but unfortunately it took a toll 13 years with this last husband and like you said now I look at it in disgust!! it’s like gross and nauseating that I would even be near a man like this and I keep watching your videos and I have attended some courses again I have a toddler many animals that my husband encouraged us to do and made made me feel that this was the right thing to do to enjoy our life as an older couple in our late 40s and he told me to quit my job as a registered nurse and I did have some medical conditions and it sounded like a wonderful life for me to do what I love and it was a trap!!!!! not that I didn’t love my nursing but I it was very very physically rough on me after 25 years of doing it and now I look at it like I’m glad I’m not working in this Covid situation as a nurse and I do get a large amount of money every month from this Narc husband and I say that lightly because he is out of the house for two years now we are not divorced the court systems are very slow and behind and I have to just take this time to work on myself and heal I can’t focus on him and be triggered anymore and I am getting better and better through prayer and healing knowledge recognition I am in an 80% better place than I was six months ago thank you!!!!♥️
Yes! Abandonment. No more abandoning myself, just love and acceptance ❤
You don't need a man or a woman to validate you. Only you can validate you. I know it doesn't make sense, but it will when you start to work on yourself. A man or a woman are a gift.
In the past decades a woman's worth and happiness were based on her being married and how her husband and children were. That was my problem with my narc ex-boyfriend. Regardless of his financial ability, which turned out to be unhealthy how even though monetarily he was stable but constantly took from me. His mother was from that era and never healed thus it was transferred onto him and his sister. I removed myself from the situation and had to heal.
I get it. Married 50 yrs. I think I just got tired. All of a sudden, I’m happy
Melanie - YOU are truly an angel in disguise. You and Jackson MacKenzie very likely saved my life a few years ago. Thank you so much for all you do to help people who have experienced this abuse.
sorry to be off topic but does any of you know a method to log back into an Instagram account?
I stupidly lost the password. I love any assistance you can give me!
I have been attracting narcissists my whole life. My family is full of them. Recently, I have noticed a change in the way I deal with it. And it's like you say, I have to just stay in my body. I have noticed that now I have the presence to express my truth, gently and with a smile, what's what, and then go do my thing. I am actually sensing a bit of respect from her, though she would never admit it. I love your videos. They put real words to a real problem.
Love and blessings sweetheart. xoxox
I just did a healing yesterday and saw my past life as a young lady in the holocaust yard, I could hear other souls screaming. I believe WW2 is when the evil spirits started to destroy the light. I believe that we are in the time that our souls are now waking up and fighting back. The more we all heal and bring in the light, the stronger we will be and the darkness of this world will flee. The truth shall set you free. We need more light. I joined up for the Thrive program and am so excited as i need more healing. Be strong everyone and soak in the light. 🙏🙏🙏💞💞💞 God, source, creation is inside you and you are so loved.
God bless you
Diamonds Shine, I'm so thrilled for you that are you are on your healing path. That's so exciting and I can't wait to connect with you in the Thrive program! Love and Blessings xoxox
Jesus Christ is GOD. There is no such thing as "God source" and Jesus Christ is at the right hand of the Father in Heaven. IF you know Him in Truth, you have the Holy Spirit in you. And there is no such thing as reincarnation....."It is appointed unto man once to die, and then the judgment." Hebrews 9:27 Demons can insert false memories into your mind of the past to deceive you.
@@reesedaniel5835 Thank you for that scripture Reese.
I get it. I am triggered by feeling abandoned. And so I keep that energy exchange open. I need to cut it off. I need to know that I don’t deserve to be abandoned and when I am abandoned I need to be ok with walking away.
This is so powerful sweetheart. Love and blessings to you. xoxox
*Ms. Melanie...people like you make this dark world a brighter place* ☺
I hope ahem *we all* hope you had a wonderful Easter Sunday tomorrow 😁😉
I just wanna say this because I hope it sets someone free. A lot of the trauma childhood or later that you've experienced is because a narcissist got to you early in life. Made you feel unworthy or gave you abandonment wounds so they could steal your energy at a young age. It's sad but true... they care for no one but themselves. I hate that that is the side of life we know
Unfortunately my mother was extremely narcissistic I didn’t know that back then and of course it was your mother you had to stay quiet and respect her but she was so verbally and emotionally abusive and I remember one time at seven years old she would not come and put me to bed I wanted her so badly to kiss me good night but she refused because she was so angry at me for sitting on the floor with my sister-in-law watching a movie and I wouldn’t get up off the floor and sit on the rocking chair with my mom and because of that I was sent to bed alone and I’ll never forget that pain and crying for her and everyone came into my room trying to console me my grandma my sisters and I just cried and cried for my mother and she never ever came and I make sure now with my children that I always was there for them even if I was angry at their behavior I always went to them and kiss them good night and hug them and told them I love them but it left a huge wound of abandonment and me and my mother rest her soul was a wonderful person and would do anything to help me but she had a Darkside unfortunately and each time I go to heal this scenario comes up and it’s getting easier and easier to except and let go!!!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻♥️
@@theresaalbano4363 hey I was just thinking about this how a thought can come into your head and take you back to pain. Both my parents were narcisstic and I'm still in recovery too. I do the same thing with my son. When I'm mad t something he did I'm just like I let little things go so quickly instead of holding on to that and trying to make it worse. I let go in seconds cause I'm not bout to do my baby no harm. That's what my mom always did. I remember my little brother went to my aunt's house and stayed the night and he told me she had got mad at him that night so when he got up the next day he was still expecting her to be upset. But she wasn't and it surprised him. If that would have been my mom she would be mad as fire the next day. My mom would hold on to things for years lol. I'm just healing over it now because I realize they were really broken souls and broken souls and healthy souls cant really relate. Mrs. Melanie tho she speaks the truth about the healing and going to your past self and really feeling what happened in the moment. You can see how the child in you was thinking and feeling and then you can use your adult mind to be like dang they did me wrong lol and move on cause you can see how it really hurt you and WHY it hurt. But anyways love you these Narcissist are a mess
The malignant narcissist alcoholic ex I divorced is sadistic .he’s not only the cause of the pain and trauma you are trying to heal from but he comes back over and over and kicks you further down his dark hole as he’s smirking feeling proud and powerful slithering away
Sounds like my ex-boyfriend! Good riddance to these jerks!
Sounds exactly like my ex aswell.
I believe I understand. I haven't had much experience with intimate relationships sadly despite being in my 40s but I do have a fear of abandonment, of people thinking badly about me and have a hangup about no one caring about me. So plenty of inner work to potentially do.
Same here ! Plenty of inner work.
Both overts and coverts snap at you at an exact moment, to take the wind out of your sails. 🌬️
Yes, when I tried to leave the first time. He yelled angry words shaming me for thinking that way. Then bringing up decade old behavior of me comparing his recent actions.
@@heatherk.7904 Year's ago your behavior more than likely wasn't that bad, or even bad at all. It's the narcs perception that's very misconstrued. Since narcs are stuck in the past, they want to hold others to the past. And somehow he's justifying his actions based on his twisted perceived view, of you in the past. 🙂
@@paulzedx636ninja7 I’m surrounded! They’re all living in the old fear based, on meds, & won’t ever change!
@@Houseitch Meds don't even help narcs, I know a covert that has some kind of meds. He drank alcohol and was mumbling and fumbling, like a really sad weird freak. 😂
Oooh this video is warm tea for my soul
'dont give away your boundaries' this really is the basis isn't it. Often narcs take you on a a head rush journey, busy busy, they don't give you a moment to take a step back and see whats happening, your so right Mel, those boundaries needs to be Solid . Thank you for this video. X
I left my narc husband of 7 months ago and my getting my power back because no contact is healing me
Melanie I got it. This is why I attracted a Narcissist. My Mother went into depression due to mistreatment from My. As I have heard from videos, it's ancestry.
Now that I know, I am going inside,, actually now I am planning to leave the Narc.
Thank You Melanie ❤️🙏🙏🙏💞💕💕
Ok get it! Just went through it and recognized I had given her the
Wounds I had, that she shot me with
Mel, I GET IT! I am pretty much done with the abandonment crap and doing way better on thinking it is my job to change others ways of thinking.😅🤣😂I am working diligently on trying to stay in the moment and not fall back into wasting time on cognitive dissonance bs. Thank you soooo much. 🤗
Thank you so much for the examples. I was able to understand and translate it into my own life. I also was getting triggered by my ex-boyfriend telling me to leave his house when we'd have a disagreement, or him walking away and giving me the silent treatment when he didn't agree with something I said. After watching this video, I made a promise to myself to not allow this cycle to continue and to stand up for myself. When I was recently telling him about how I felt after hearing something, he told me that he wanted to take a break from our relationship. Instead of reacting and begging, I told him it didn't have to be a break and could be permanent. Thank you!
Melanie I get it. I ended my realatuonship last night with a very toxic guy. The things that hurt me the most he deliberately would do. I deserve better. You have gave me so many answers. Thank you so much!
11:10 I once was also delivered and felt like a different person who had just jumped out of a former person. And a new adult me appeared. I was like in sacred space, full of energy, even my body healed like in seconds.
But out of the blue within 30 minutes of this miracle my abusers called on a phone, and they somehow managed to pull me back in the older abused self.and the newly born adult me just dissipated.
Years have passed since then and I don’t know how to repeat the deliverance.
PS hello from Siberia.
I feel like Neo from the Matrix before he got the metal electrode removed from his occipital area.
Every time I am criticised I get pain sent to the back of my head.
MEL, I GET IT! it's been a long time coming, but I absolutely get it and now it's time for me to heal and thrive. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. 💕🙂
Beautiful Mel I Get it 💕 I'm mostly free 90% but I'm still working on me in a Healthy way, I'm happy and safe in my body 🙏🏾💕
blessings have a beautiful holiday
Working hard to break those psychic chords. I know. I know. When a trauma bond/soul tie is gone, it’s gone forever.
I get it. Now celebrating 35 weeks doing NARP. Wonderful results!!! Thank you, Mel!
Aww sweetheart this is so beautiful. I am SO happy to hear you have had such success with NARP. Love and blessings to you dear thriver. xoxox
Yes spot on the inner code, I’m free yesterday was a day of celebration 🥳 I had to do it alone at home 🏠
What was that inner code?
SL SR SW R F G, Self love 💕 Self respect ✊ Self Worth , Respect Forgive God
Before that however I felt resentment which I kept fighting as I thought it was negative behaviour then like you mentioned resentment towards narcissist repulsion kicked in along with more and then the code above it was a sigh of relief and I felt free, all the other narcissist and my family poisoned and kids who are innocent and have no idea as to what is going on as my sister who suffers from low self esteem and the narc gang have tranced her it’s to do with me not converting to Islam and them wanting to control my life and feel they have the right to punish me and my sister for years has been brainwashing my kids by the time it got clear my kids were tranced against me , so dealing with this is still ok, the main narcissist who was trying to spiritually destroy me is gone and I’m free like I actually feel like I have wings and I can fly x :) 🙏🏼
Everyone has a right to feel , I feel and believe in God there’s always been God a life force energy guarding me and guiding me and it can’t be described in words it’s beyond words 🙏🏼
Truth be told a narcissist doesnt know which way to go without you so sad
Thank you so much for your inspiring vids and they use certain ppls weaknesses to oppress them and triggering traumas and wounds
Love and blessings sweetheart. xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans Thank you 🙏🏼 for sharing your experiences and blessings and happiness and the inspiration is what gives ppl positive uplifting Thank you 🙏🏼
Thank you for your work, it saved my life when I had no other options and inspired me to start my own channel.
I get it! I am doing much better after doing modules 1-4 of NARP!! In just a few months, I feel like I have a foothold...a stable one...that isnt sliding back into depression, fear, panic, worry, etc. about the narc situation. I feel like I am getting my SELF and SOUL and SPIRIT back! Still a ways to go... but the convenience of working at NARP at my own pace, has given me the incentive to keep going, especially since I have felt the relief since the very beginning. I am excited to keep taking my empowerment and healing to the next level with the new THRIVE program coming up in May! Thank you so much, Melanie, for all yu do and have done ....for all of those suffering from narcissistic abuse! You are an angel!!
Hi Kelli, I love that you're a NARPer and getting so much your healing darling lady! I'm so excited and look forward to connecting with you in my upcoming THRIVE program, yaya! You are such a Thriver Kelli! Love and Blessings xoxox
I am no contact with ALL narcissists. I'm practically a hermit now. My problem is internal rage that never seems to go away. It will go onto a "back burner" for a while and then suddenly, there it is again. And I always direct the anger onto myself, just as the narc's trained me to do.
Mel…I get it! Signed up to start the program this weekend! 🙏🏾
I get it. I am there and trying to do the work but losing at the battle right now.
Just keep going sweetheart. Are you working with NARP hun? melanietoniaevans.com/narp Love and blessings xoxox
Melanie, I get it! Yes. It sure isn’t easy, even when you get it, though. They’re so manipulative. They really test you.
Mel I get it! You are absolutely the best Narc abuse recovery coach I have ever found. You have been so helpful! Thank you!!!!!
I get it. Thank you for the flashlight. There the behavior from the beginning and did not change for 5 years. I finally unplugged. You have helped me with the hurt from the betrayals.
The narc showed his true identity on our honeymoon, actually “discarded” me on the 2nd day by throwing our room key at me and leaving me on the beach. I was able to get an annulment a year and a half later, after finding your NARP and healing all the way thru the court proceedings. It’s been 9 years now!! 🤗❤️
Oh gosh. Nicole's story? 💔 Relatable.
Excellent epigenetic pattern clearing right there. I get it ♡
This is so clear and on point. Very helpful to have this validated and to know there is a solution to it.
Hi Melanie! I GET IT! The video today about abandonment is so timely and perfect! Today I wrote into the forum after I did the SH&R....My fear of abandonment came to the surface! And then your story about Peter I am living! Oh my gosh, this is sometimes amazing! I also very easily could identify with the adultery portion of this video as I have had two adulteresses in my life. Strangely, this is not upsetting tonight to listen to this! I was having a very tearful time after doing SH&R....I think that all the work that I've been doing and all the help that I've been getting from the members in NARP has really helped so very much and of course, your videos are so so so helpful....
thank you so much, Melanie, and for NARP. ❤️🙏🕊🦋❤️
Bless you My Dear Man. xoxox
I get it. Last night was Easter dinner with my parents and extended family. My mother set up a situation where if I didn't act a very specific way, she could accuse me of being ungrateful or unloving. I fell apart inside and was a puddle by the end of the night. I felt guilty because I struggled to hide my sadness from my precious 2 y/o son. I couldn't understand why I had this reaction. I now understand it's the fear of being wrongly accused that's she's using against me.
Back to Module 1 tonight :) I validate and bless this feeling and will work on it straight away this evening. Thanks, Mel 🙏
Cheering you on dearest Rosalyn! Keep going and go get it gorgeous! Love and Blessings xoxox
I get it. I'm ready to step it up and get healed and free for good ❤
Very good advice in the video, and yes, the narcs most definitely load their guns with your pain and what they know will hurt you. They acquire this information from you in the love bombing phase, then they start pulling the trigger when you East expect it or when they feel they have gained your complete trust and love, of course…. Which is why their first bullet is so devastatingly painful, shocking, and mind crippling. It’s downright sadistic, and incredibly difficult to recover from it, even for those who are lucky to escape them and leave their narc with a loaded gun and drooling over using it on their next target or what many refer to as “narcissistic supply.”
To add insult to the injury, the mental health system is not equipped with licensed therapist that are well versed on this topic, therefore the survivors of this atrocious trauma to the brain are left hanging by a noose and feeling helpless and that there is no way out nor a cure for what they’ve experienced.
Narcissism and narcissistic abuse is learned behavior, another mind bending fact, but the cure for it starts with “you” the survivors and God.
Thank you thank you thank you! I feel validated! Like I am not a crazy person
We are not crazy ! Now we just have to work on not acting like we are ! So hard !
Mel I get it.... The Answer is within💝🙏🏻
Love all you work Mel ... Telling the truth .. Amazing xxx
Also accused me about things he was doing, smearing, turning children against, manipulating.
I’m so broken 💔
🙏🕊🤗
Sweetheart, please considering joining me in my next healing webinar where I will show how you can begin to heal and come home to yourself and heal as you deserve to live a life outside of this pain and terror. melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings xoxox
NARP will help you! Your heart will begin to heal 💗....
NARP will help you! Your heart will begin to heal 💗....🙏
WOW Melanie. Thank you for understanding and validating me!!! 💓
I get it.
100% on target and well explained.
Mel I get it,going inside is the only way,
You always seem to know what I need
Mel ... I get it, still working and shifting on abandonment, depressive mother and adulterous partners, thank you ❤️
You've got this! Blessings and power to you xoxo
Thanks Mel, if I hadn't done your NARP programme - started in September 2020, I don't think I would have understood any of these behaviours and how to heal. COVID and you literally saved my life (but not my hair)! Still healing, still moving forward, but experience difficult days. I'll get there xx
Mel I get it
This is powerful stuff! I get it now. Thank you so much, Melanie, and keep up the great work!
You're so welcome Andre! xoxox
I have been being harassed by a group of narcissists questioning me over and over again about something with accusations of wrong doing that I had nothing to do with, then later a neutral party will mention something vaguely related and your first reaction is to defend yourself against the past accusations thus making the neutral party think you have a guilty conscious since you started defending yourself against something they did not ask about. It is like putting a seed in your mind that you jump to defend yourself, thus making you look guilty. Is there a Psychologists term for this and a way to prevent them setting that "seed" in your mind? Seems they are trying to get me to frame myself.
It's a form of hypervigilance. Narc's cause you to be hyper defensive because dealing with them is like being in a constant war zone. You are like a soldier coming out of the jungle in Vietnam, still very defensive. And yes they are very cunning and devious, knowing exactly which of your buttons to push (because they are controlled by demons).
Mel, I get it! Been there. Not going back! Great vids. Thank you.
Mel, I get it!
This is beautiful! Thank you for explaining it so clearly.
I would LOVE it if you could help apply these lessons to narcissistic mothers-in-law. I believe the principles are exactly the same, but the dynamics are very different. I can't leave her like I could leave a man in a relationship. How can I stop letting her create strife in my marriage? And now that I've gone no contact and finally gotten my husband to (mostly) agree to let me keep the children away, how do I let go of the hurt, pain, and resentment for the horrible things she has done and continues to do? How do I keep her from contacting and attempting to triangulate my children? How do I stop worrying about the future?
Hi Michelle hun. Please know that although the dynamics are unique, the healing 'formula' is exact and the same regardless of who the narcissist in your experience is. Please check out my healing program NARP www.melanietoniaevans.com/narp for more information and I'd love you to join me in my free healing webinar melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar so I can explain more fully and take you through the healing process so you can experience it personally. You'll gain more clarity by having a lived experience of the healing process to understand how the 'outside' or who is triggering you is practically irrelevant which is totally empowering! I hope you will join me! Love and Blessings xoxox
Some mothers in law are two legged serpents, and the worst thing is when your spouse takes their side instead of yours when they are treating you like garbage.
Hello Melanie yes I get it hey have a good day and or night take care. Thanks for all your helpful info till next time later
I get it. Thank you 🤍
Melanie, I get it.
Mel got it .beautiful
mel i get it
Mel, I get it
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean
I can connect you to someone who helped me attract my ex partner back to me after separation
What.xap
+ 2348119132200
It's a struggle Mel but I get it.
I think the best option is to let go.
Mel, I get it
I get it thank you
Mel...i get it...thx❤
Mel, I get it❤😊
Mel I get it xx
I stood by my boundaries with the latest one and not only did he show up at my residence screaming at the top of his lungs, he broke my apartment door in. Since I refused to have anything to do with him when he showed up with hickeys all over his neck (from an ex of 4 yrs ago who he used to be drug addicted with). He cleaned up but she hadn't, he'd lied so much I'd come to find out now, behind my back, about others that I'm still unsure of the fact from fiction. He proudly let me know they were having unprotected sex etc, meanwhile I'm 9 months pregnant with his kid. He made it clear that was what he was off doing while I was doing everything to prepare for this baby on my own. A baby/family he convinced me he wanted. Disturbing and delusional, not much different than a shameless psychopath really. Now he's legally bound from going near or contacting me until 2023. I even have to change addresses so that he has no possibility to breech by showing up when he feels like it despite consequence. There is no remorse either, he isn't capable regardless of the outcome. When they lean closer on the spectrum towards sociopathy(ASPD)/psychopathy(which is what narcissism is fueled by), take precaution. These 'men' can be dangerous and unpredictable.
He said he didn't like that I was 'unemotional' when attempting to justify his actions of attempting discard/ghosting for a week when I detached myself from the relationship. I was like that for a reason because I don't give empathy to those that have none for me. I'm guessing he assumed he was going to get away with harassing me, that he'd ever have a chance of getting me back after all that (which he told police that's what he was trying to do meanwhile showcasing hickeys on his neck from ex), well he didn't read me too well at all. I hope I never have to see/deal with that guy again. No court in their right mind would grant him parental rights when he poses that much of a threat to me. The charges were pressed by the police (this is not even a restraining order which is something you have to personally apply for). He was arrested and only released from jail under contract that he agree to terms of those conditions to stay the hell out of my life. One breech is a serious offence that will land him back in jail. If I wasn't about to raise a son, I'd probably dislike men at this point in my life. It's rough knowing my son partially comes from him but it's not his fault. I'm disappointed for him about who his sperm donor is and trying to figure out how to answer questions when he's older in a way that keeps him protected from the disturbing details of what his 'father' is. On that front no one 'wins'.
Mel I get it😢
Mel, I get it!! I am free 😍
I get it!
Mel, I get it :)
I was keeping explain, trying to proof that I am ok. Handing power, decisions, money, emails, access to my ltd and so on. To proof my loyalty. Then he replaced me with older rich widow. Still blaming me. Bezair.
Melanie, how do we locate our traumas? how do we know what they are?
Sweetheart are you working with NARP? melanietoniaevans.com/narp Love and blessings xoxox
I remind I was terrified as well. He would telling me marriage is finish he os going , he will destroy my property and take my children away. And he will find psychiatrist against me and nobody will believe me. Then shut the door very loudely. Next day the same.
Why would God allow such disgusting things to happen to good hearted people it’s sick to me
Can someone please advice me? The other day I saw something my ex narc MIL wrote on Fb (I blocked her but we have friends in common. she made a horrible comment about me (in a very covert way of course) but overtly talking about me and how I alienated my son from her son and her and how much she missed her grandson (nothing further from the truth of course). she did this in a post that a friend of mine put on fb about her baby. My ex Mil knows her too and she took advantage immediately to smear me publicly on my friend’s post to gain sympathy. I feel people believe her and makes me really angry and sad that i was the one who suffered so much at the hands of this monster! And she’s out there pretending to be the victim… Now that I was able to protect my son from this horrible family she keeps writing very private things about me publicly on FB. Do you think I should answer her comments and put a stop to it once in for all?? Or should I just ignore her? I know narcs do this all the time but just hate to loose people because of her!! What do you think it’s the best way to deal with this? Thank you!!
I married my husband 8 years ago and he was enmeshed with his mother and obsessed with his ex wife. I didn’t see any of this until after we were married and he totally changed. I worked so hard to love him hoping he would love me but after 8 years he left me. I’m trying to pick myself up and pull out of the shock. He is in a rebound relationship saying that we never worked because of MY trauma.I am in freeze right now...I’ve never felt so betrayed and so much pain. I am derailed right now and have been for months...I would love your help. He cheated on me twice.
Do not let anyone come in between you and your relationship goal. Get them back to you and make their love strong like the ocean
I can connect you to someone who helped me attract my ex partner back to me after separation
What.xap
+ 2348119132200
Sweetheart I know how truly painful and difficult this is for you right now, big hugs. My highest suggestion of help is that you join my free healing webinar as I will show how you can begin to heal your inner wounds and trauma so that you can heal, creating the life you so deserve and desire. melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings xoxox
Iget it
❤
Cheer up cause the child good trauma that you've experience was caused by some broken adult
Thanks for that !
To extend of hitting beating me up. Wow. Loving husband.
Yep!! I get it and I’m still figure it out a few things of my childhood my mother and father were together for 35 years my father died very young at 58 years old I was 18 years old and I had to do CPR on my own father and I could not save him but as a child I remember him watching pornographic movies on 8 mm film and remember my mother mentioning later on in life that because he was on so many nitroglycerin tabs he wanted to still enjoy sex life with my mother and these films were helping them and to this day I’m still trying to work out my feelings and how my narcissistic relationships and last husband were so addicted to pornography and I always felt that I was never enough for them sexually even though I was having sex every day if not twice a day with my husband he still had to cheat lie and resort to pornography and masturbation so what it has to come down for me is acceptance that this is about them and how they are and I have to stay in my own being and work on my traumas accept what happen in my childhood and disregarded as it’s not something I am and like I don’t have to be like my mother. and I can set boundaries especially when it comes to abandonment and infidelity but unfortunately it took a toll 13 years with this last husband and like you said now I look at it in disgust!! it’s like gross and nauseating that I would even be near a man like this and I keep watching your videos and I have attended some courses again I have a toddler many animals that my husband encouraged us to do and made made me feel that this was the right thing to do to enjoy our life as an older couple in our late 40s and he told me to quit my job as a registered nurse and I did have some medical conditions and it sounded like a wonderful life for me to do what I love and it was a trap!!!!! not that I didn’t love my nursing but I it was very very physically rough on me after 25 years of doing it and now I look at it like I’m glad I’m not working in this Covid situation as a nurse and I do get a large amount of money every month from this Narc husband and I say that lightly because he is out of the house for two years now we are not divorced the court systems are very slow and behind and I have to just take this time to work on myself and heal I can’t focus on him and be triggered anymore and I am getting better and better through prayer and healing knowledge recognition I am in an 80% better place than I was six months ago thank you!!!!♥️
The cheating spouse
Mel, I get it!
I get it.