How Shame can Affect Foster Children | Psychotherapy | Community Foster Care

Vicky Blackwell, Child and Adolescent Psychotherapist, shares her experiences around shame in foster children - how it affects them, where it might come from and how to deal with it to help reduce the stress it can cause on their nervous systems and what this can look like in negative responses and behaviour.
Vicky reminds us that shame can be deep rooted in foster children, due to the awareness that their birth family may have been assessed as 'not good enough' by the system and society. Without the stability early in life, a foster child will very likely already be grappling with their self worth, self love and confidence. If they find themselves in many different social situations due to moving between foster families and placements, shame can often be present due to their lack of perceived belonging.
Children and young people often cannot comprehend, without professional help, why they are in their individual situation, that it is not their fault and that these difficult experiences and feelings are not their identity but things that have happened to them. Unfortunately, many children and young people in foster care internalise these experiences and feelings, making meaning that they are not good enough or bad. This can lead to challenging behaviours as these emotions are so big and many of these looked after children have never been modelled the skills to process such emotion.
We believe in therapeutic parenting, particularly for those children like foster children who have large amounts of unprocessed trauma. This is why we share these psychotherapy videos, to provide valuable insight for anyone struggling to make sense of challenging behaviour.
Learn more about approach to therapeutic fostering - www.communityf...

[@sandrocuzzolin9353]

Thank you, there is some insights but i do understand what to do with my 5 yo who feels shame quite often

[@DylanBlackwell-zv6gc]

Hi mum