Take the Pressure Off!!
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- Опубликовано: 1 окт 2024
- Don’t be scared of the person grieving!!
Take the pressure OFF!
If you have someone in your life who is grieving don’t worry about having the perfect thing to say … there is nothing you can say that will fix it, and we don’t expect you to because if words could fix it we would have already spoken them and put them back together.
I hear this often … “ I just didn’t know what to say” and I get it. I don’t know what to say either… this is very normal but what I have come to know is it’s not about the words it is about just showing up and being there.
There is nothing you can say that will make me cry or be more upset than I am. No words that hold some magical power of putting my world back together.
So take the pressure OFF!
It’s not about having someone in your life to fix your problems… it’s about having someone to sit with, cry with, laugh with, reminisce with and just BE!
Just show up!
#CrazyBusyMama #widowmomlife
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My precious husband passed in April...yes...I warn them I will get my sad on them. We laugh...then I get to be me...but days go by with NO human contact...and it just plain SUCKS. I WISH all the tears helped....nothing helps...it's unfortunately the journey we are now unvoluntarily on.
This reminds me of Job. His friends came and were telling him SO many things, but what he needed was their compassion and presence. We need to be slow to speak, quick to listen, and to just be there.
Amen!
I am experiencing the same thing. I feel people are awkward around a young widow. I think it’s also that they feel it’s too real and that could happen to them so they don’t even want to deal with it or acknowledge it. For every person that is like that there is someone who has been wonderful and at almost 8 months in for me are still here for me.
Such excellent advice. My daughter was diagnosed with brain cancer 7 years ago. At very first a few people showed up, as things got worse, as my daughter became sicker and sicker people stopped showing up. We felt completely alone, it is an awful place to be. We didn’t need words I needed a hug, a cup of coffee, anything.
I totally agree. When my husband passed away 9 yrs ago there were some friends who stayed away I believe bc they thought it could be them. They are afraid of the situation and therefore stay away. Especially if it was couples. The ones that came by to just sit and be there are the true friends. And you’re right I too used to be there. Let’s not wait until it happens to us to be there for a grieving friend or family member. Just hold their hand, it’s all I needed.
Very good advice. As a pastor's wife of 50 years, I overheard awful statements said to grieving families. 😢
Exactly
I lost my son 12 years ago and I relate to everything you shared. True, there are no words that can change what has happened but what has helped me in the beginning especially, is knowing people cared about my pain, the ones who knew they couldn't fix it ~ they were just there letting me know they were praying. Only Jesus can say all the right things to us and HE DOES! He is our comfort one day at a time.
I just lost my husband 4 weeks ago he had pancreatic cancer 😢
Thank you for sharing your advice. I handled a situation so badly with a friend that lost her daughter. It’s been years now and I regret it so much.
I don’t think they’re afraid of you. I think they’re afraid of what to say or how to act. Here’s an idea… why not call one of these friends and just say, I miss you and I’d love to see you!
Any friend would be honored to get that call from you!
We don’t want to intrude on your grief. That sounds crazy, but sometimes we need a push because we don’t know what to say. ❤
Same has happened to me
Good advice.
Praying for you.❤