When grandparents pamper and spoil your child | Parenting - 117
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
- Some grandparents love to pamper their grandchildren. This makes it very difficult for parents to enforce discipline… and they are constantly confused what to do. Here are some ideas.
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Oh my biggest struggle u ve spoken out in minutes... Handling of emotions between three generations inside one house is a big biggg biggg barrier to move life smooth... Thank u a lotttt... Thanku so much...
I think that at the last part of the video, it makes more sense to tell those things to the grandparents than to the child.
Ys sir thank u for teaching us I am. very happy wat u share with us
Hai..... ur voice is truly amazing, attractive n impressive. I would like to hear from you about the comment being said " its only the mistake of mother (from in-laws view)" or else "its only ur mistake (from husband's view)". I have two kids n whenever they are good at something, my in-laws praise n pamper them a lot, also feel proud to have my kids as their grandchildren, but on the other side when my kids disobey r misbehave, I'm the only one to be blamed. How to handle it? Sad part is that even my husband says that "its job of mother to control kids". I really feel unfair.
I want to genuinely help ppl who are struggling like me. When you know that the grandparents are playing toxic intentionally, it's time to get nasty with them too as decency will never work with toxicity. Tell your kids in front of them that the grandparents are wrong and are being bad. Cry and earn your kids sympathy. To these grandparents, tell them that if they start interfering in your parenting , you have all rights to interfere in their personal matters too like their finance , personal relationships and possessions. Create a mess in whatever they hold near and dear.
U re perfectly right
Correct.
How are you so wonderful? Such a treasure and gem that anyone can show this to the trouble makers in the family to shut them
Mr Shridhar , I am glad that there is someone addressing these prevalent issues in indian family systems . But to be honest, this not how it can be solved with these little hacks like advices . people have very distinct experiences and situations of toxicity. No matter how much knowledge you gather around problematic relationships things get real bad.
I have closely seen families where no matter how respectful ,mature and wisdom full parents have been towards the grandparents and child things go supremely dysfunctional. I know parents who are now running around therapists, councillors to fix the childhood trauma of a teenager who is facing debilitating depression due to being exposed to real nasty grandparents and a joint family who messed up with the kid on the name of love and relationships.
Everyone could notice then when the little boy was getting twisted in his own home but when one grandparent is extremely commanding and other plays the sentimental emotional card on the parents to fool around with their kid it takes long years for parents to realise the gravity of harm being done .
Here the only bid is if the grandparents have genuine good intentions for their grandchildren then the parents’ trusting the grandparents is worth it , but if it’s a competition that who raised better children and how to sabotage the grand kids to prove themselves better, then non but the child’s life is completely spoiled, who has done nothing but just looked up his elders for love and care .
Yes, the advice that shridhar gives seems very decent and easy but it will not work out. When such old grown up can't understand the parents ,how will a child understand all these ?
The children still think that better the grandparents because they allow what you are always negating! Also husband doesnt want to listen for him hia parents are always right..
First of all, many many thanks for your videos. Today I feel really lucky to come across this video (though it's too late). I everyday face 4th issue with my in-laws n my son who is just 4.5yr old. When I try to stop my son they say I am mean mom n manipulative, on the other side when my son disobeys them they point out saying its completely my mistake
Thank u so much sir. You show me the right way of parenting
same thing inam facing right now with inlaws my son my husband thank you for bringing some clarity thanks
Thank u so much.. I got some good idea to face these kind of issues lovely speech with simple words and cost of good determination
What you said is applicable for a bigger child..my daughter is current 1.5 years old and as working parents she spends easily 10-11 hours daily for 5 days with her grandmother and the maid..they do everything whatever is demanded by my baby so that she doesn't became fussy..thus agreeing to every demand of her..if you have a video that how to deal with toddlers with this issue that will be helpful
Pls make a video on second type of grandparents who are strict/dominating.
Thank u so much i really needed dis .. was so insecured and lonely .. billion dollar video for d new and confused parebts about dis sensitive issue😇🙏
Can you make a video on how to cope with absent grandparents?
Amazing
Please make a video about very strict grand-parents.
Very young kids doesn't understand what we r trying to tell them.. some things they understand..not all.. like how kid's grandparent is mistaken.. and ofcourse husband and wife r never together on this in Indian families.. husband's parents r always right for him..
Very nice video sir.
When grand parents interfere, kids feel hatred towards their parents. They think parents are their enemies. So they must not interfere in every matter
When I was younger both my grandmothers and grandfathers, spoils me and my sister since we are the youngest in the family.
Hi sir, great to listen ur valuable words, I have a boyfriend we are in relationship for about 3yrs, and he is very good guy, I can't leave him because of the only reason CASTE, but my parents are not ready to accept him, pls help me how to convince them, because of this society they are not ready to accept him, even I can't leave my parents and my boyfriend to, I need both of them, pls help me, waiting for ur rly sir.
Very informative, thank u, keep going
Exactly crt Sir... Keep going well Shri Sir... ❤❤
Yes I agree grand parents will not change but we can change kids mind ...now days very kids mind also...they are thinking differently .. How to win in every situation and also so adamant ...so how to over come in this....sridhar
If parents want their kid to grow up as a better person, they should avoid screaming and hitting.
Persuasion is the best strategy.
Yes I have taken ur points but my daughter 3n half yr old not listening to me she always listening to my parents voice..I have hurt and get depressed of thinking about it..any idea? If I could explain to her she s saying ok ma I'll be with u, on the nxt day she again going to grandparent house and not listening me..
This is so true grand parent imp parents can be irrational ..else I wudve been beaten to death by my dad for a trivial issue on tv volume.
Very nicely put...
Great clz
Amazing video Shridhar! Recently my parents have decided to live with us and since then I kept thinking about these issues and solution. I get it what you said, I will share your video to my husband as well.
Thanks again.
What if the grandparents are interfering with the studies? Saying that Education is not at all important.
I have a spanish wife who is too sweet, since we both are working and when I come to meet my single parent to India I sometimes prefer my baby to go to Spain with my wife, at the same time I find some of their ways objectionable so how do I handle this?
Such a long lecture!! No kid will sit and listen to all that explanation! You have to keep it simple with kids.
Kauser AbdulMalek ali ..this is not kids it’s for parents..
Varsha Pavan but the long lecture at the end that he says to tell your children if the grandparents are telling them wrong stuff, that’s for kids to listen to.
Exactly...! Even I felt the same.
Kids wont listen to such long lectures, better to keep it simple and easy to understand
my child always tells me u always tel me to b a good girl, wat if I wil b bad. I said it's not abt gd or bad, am Jst telling u good manners so that everyone likes u and Wil make u happy. is thr anyway to say do this beta, not this one like thqt
❤️
I'm facing 4th issue since 11 years.. Mother in law died few months before but father in law now became moreeeeeee active in this issue and creating tooo much problems for me
Tune hi mother in law ko mara hoga
My child is not even 2 years old. But my in-laws intentionally or unintentionally teach him things that are not appropriate for him. And when we stop him they do not approve. My child is too small to understand all this and we don't want to hit him or be very harsh to him. What can be done?
How can we contact you ? Either to speak over phone or make an appointment to talk in person..... Do you have a place based in Chennai?
Please help me to get back my kids taken away fm me
How can I meet u ?
Regards
Jayashree
What to do if husband support them in spoiling my child
When u say that, tell kids that grandparents are not correct and they are making mistake .. aren't we saying negative things abt grandparents and demeaning and not giving respect to elders.
Just like how u said that grandparents are not supposed to to say bad things aren't we as parents giving a wrong msg here when we use those words against grandparents .
Agreed. All other advice was well said except that part.
Please
good video...but i dont think parents esp men will say such things about their parents
Ghanta phark ni padna chiye tujhe mujhe apne dadu dadi mere sath jo bhi kare. Sale ghar mai kalesh padwa diya tune. Mere mammi dadu dadi se ladte rehte hai. Abe salle caution bhi dala kar. Bhai itna dimag garam ho raha hai ke tere ko duniya bhar ki galiya dedu
This video is just nonsense, he is just a guy who does not want to critics the grand parents , a speech that just hides the grand parents evil works
Kia fazool logic ha, yahi bachy bary ho k jub bigar jatay to yahi grandparents bakwas karty k maa ne bigara hai
Mom's pet much?
I am struggling with the 4th issue. When I am tough on my kids, My MIL goes to my 10yr old boy nd says " beta mumma is so bad to u, she never lives u. Ur dad gets u all chocolates and chips bt she hides them nd eats them all when h go to school. U r such an unlucky child to have her as ur mum. I understand how sad u r with her". This I came to know when my hub questioned my son abt saying bad things to me. (My MIL said that my son said that he want to kill me) (make a note hez jus 10 yrs old). Then my kid started crying nd said "y wud I say such bad things abt mumma? Yes I dont like her when she scolds me or hits me. Granny is elder nd she knows what mumma is. So she shared (written above) her grief with me." I was jus speechless. Bt my husband was ok with such conversation between my MIL nd my son. He simply said "never lie to us". How to take care of my child if my hub is nt ready to b my side in such situations? Its jus 1 example. There r many such.
Ashwini Ajay I am sorry to hear this.Be strong
I m also facing same situation, my mil also teaches bad things about me everytime she is angry with me, and divorcrd sil do the same, whenever they want to say something to me they teach my 7 yr old boy. My hubby never listen to me and he is in support of his mom n sis
In that case try to develop more patience towards your child and become her best friend by fulfilling all her small wishes but correct her when she is wrong in a very sweet way so that she will approach you first in case of any discomfort and also when ur MIL insults you she will come to your rescue in future!
Looks like your MIL's intention is to provoke you by taking advantage of your daughter. So no matter what never correct your child in front of her. Do it when nobody is around. All the best!