Unbelievable. Ive been looking for this information for all my life. Ive cried out for so long. Every word she spoke talked to me. I want to get well feel complete, be me.
@@myriesalido9537 not yet. I also thought I'm tired. But may be i wasn't....coz i was in hope. When i let that go ...thats when i knew I'm mentally tired and there is no holding back. When you are actually tired. Thats where things start getting better. Then When you look from a distance you realise what you deserve. Hope you get there soon.🙏
Sometimes depending on their resilience. If you become damaged you may become unmotivated and not so adamant to embark on goals that you had set previously before the relationship
After a year of Broken marriage, my lover left me with one kid, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Anthony Abisogun which i met online who brought my Lover back to me. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about Dr Anthony Abisogun Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,with any kinds of sickness, He is the best spell caster that can help you with any kind of problems like cure disease, Reading, Win court case spell, get Visa spell, get a job spell, promotion spell ,Lupus , HIV cure etc...you can inbox him on WhatsApp +2348143279478 or email Africamagicspellcaster2019@gmail.com
After a year of Broken marriage, my lover left me with one kid, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Anthony Abisogun which i met online who brought my Lover back to me. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about Dr Anthony Abisogun Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,with any kinds of sickness, He is the best spell caster that can help you with any kind of problems like cure disease, Reading, Win court case spell, get Visa spell, get a job spell, promotion spell ,Lupus , HIV cure etc...you can inbox him on WhatsApp +2348143279478 or email Africamagicspellcaster2019@gmail.com
"it's not love, it's an addiction" something clicked when I heard that. This is the best video I've seen on obsessive thoughts for someone else by far. Thank you
Letting go of someone who means the world to you is a very difficult thing to do. No matter how bad he was, you still look for the positive things that he brought to your life. But loving alone isn't enough for a relationship to work. You should also think about yourself because life is too short to stay with the person who isn't capable of reciprocating your love.
Yes definitely I try to find the good in every one and in the process I get thrown away like garbage, I am tired of feeling like garbage, I want to matter to some one
That's a good way to put it. I'm drawn to her like we have magnet's and then pull away like opposing magnet's are what we have. She knows exactly how to manipulate me. Why I am not consumed with hate and disgust I don't know, I love her instead.
Boy is this the truth and I am facing it now and had been for 15 years. I literally get ill around the ex. Check out this dream I had about 7 years ago now maybe little more. In the dream my deceased grand dad visited me. Hovering over me he said in a stern voice "Do you want to live or do you want to die" "Your not taking care of yourself" "Yes I am Grammpy" "No your not!!" he said, "and that guy your with get rid of him he don't care!!!!!" I have always believed my dreams cause I always have dreams that come to pass and are always right on point. Still as much as this dream shook me and I woke calling the ex we have to just be friends. Well as you see I didn't listen and boy I have gone through hell like we all have. Happy Holidays Blessings to you.
So is lying and manipulating people to make them think your a person they or someone else could value and trust. When life feelings financial status age and even your past is all fabricated just to sleep with someone and who does this as a pattern to multiple people who puts them in danger and others life without consideration dictates the terrible you are inside.
One of the things that happens is, a covert narcissist does treat you well at first, they love bomb you, convince you that you do deserve to have someone treat you well... and then they discard you. So if you are already predisposed to co-dependency, the consequences are pretty devastating. Thank you for this video. It really helped.
@@topkat8268 I know what u mean, I feel I was loved too both by my parents and grandparents. But when I dig deeper I realized that my parents didn’t have very healthy relationship between themselves at my most tender years and also my dad and both grand dads were showing signs of alcoholism. So maybe you did also witness some broken or dysfunctional relationships when growing up that you may have imprinted... Best of luck to you, world is full of people, why to obsess over just one that doesn’t even see your worth.
This is exactly what happened to me. I was spoiled and paid attn to for a month.. even taken on a 10,000 dollar trip and immediately after I was discarded for “a much younger woman” his exact words... I immediately blocked him.
Yes they don't miss you but they are missing to use you. they miss sleeping with you but they don't miss sleeping next to you. they don't miss walking with you but they miss walking over you. lets don't let anyone to hurt us more. it is the pain which can heal by the time but not by any medicine. hugs for all the people with pain.
Comze Ecommerce solutions right, but if god doesnt want them in your life, even if they might miss u, then god mshould say hey, they dont need to be in your life, u arent good for that person vice versa.
it shouldnt be someone hindering and thinking they are god saying dont speak to that person, the person that hinders has a god complex. they arent god.
Look yourself in the mirror. See how valuable you are. I see myself as a child and I tell the child..."I will protect you"!! We all deserve to be happy! Love yourself and move on!
Even if you're not a child you should STILL protect yourself. You are STILL the same person 1- or 91 doesn't matter but I guess it's because children tend to be more stupid with things in life..
The pain was crippling. After being in love for 2 years, she tells me we're done in a text. I was able to find her and confront her and learn she left me for another guy and didn't have the guts to tell me. Devastated but I told her to have a great life and walked away. Doesn't make it hurt any less
There are so many videos out there on “how to win your ex back”, “how to get the guy” I feel lucky to have stumbled across this diamond in the rough. This is the deepest truth and may sting at first but it is so what we need to hear. This inner child healing work is hard. It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever experience, but she’s right. It doesn’t get better. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to heal our core wounds. So many of us were not shown the love and presence that we needed in order to thrive. Generational pain is real. The patterns stops with us. We learn to reparent our inner child and we learn to parent our future children so this cycle reverses direction. Thank you so much for your honesty.
when you ignore someone that has hurt you for 30 days and work on your mind to know your worth then you will understand this person is not in their right mind and they need to learn their worth as well.
I got back my ex husband with the help of a powerful Man and it works very fast and I believe he can help you too whatasApp +2.3.4.8.1.1.5.3.5.8.0.0.8 Email him via doctorlawrence4r@gmail.com
This helped me so much tonight. With my high school sweetheart since 16. 16 yrs later we’ve been married for over 10rys. 2 kids. A home. He’s cheated off and on through our relationship and I kept hoping he’d change but this last time was the last time. He left on his birthday after exposing yet another affair. He wants freedom and truly feels our entire relationship has been forced and that all I wanted was to control him. That used to hurt me until I found God, entered ministry, and did a LOT of inner healing. Now I see him for what he really is. A covert narcissist who will never own up to his stuff. He’s not concerned with how his actions affect anyone else. The kids, me, our family. No, he feels justified because he suffered a long and unwanted relationship. The things we tell ourselves can be life or death. Now, I know that our relationship was built on co dependency. He wanted the image of being a great person, a beautiful life, a family man. We were just the cover for who he truly is and he did whatever he needed to do to keep his cover until he finally broke and couldn’t hide himself anymore. He’s on his way to rock bottom. Sure, I love him. I think I always will because he’s my first love and father of my children but he’s absolutely toxic, vindictive, and seriously out of his mind with the way he navigates this. I filed for divorce 2 weeks after he left and was so proud of myself. That set him off... yet he doesn’t want to be with me... calls me ugly... but don’t want me to divorce him and doesn’t want me to date?! My eyes are so open now. The old me would have crumbled at that and thought that he must love me if he doesn’t want me to move on. NO. He’s selfish and doesn’t want to see me ok or moving on from him because he gets satisfaction out of me suffering and pining for him. No more. This video gave me so much strength tonight as I was crying that he ditched our kids to go meet up with one of his side pieces and I realize that this man is just lost and isn’t capable of being a decent person right now. It’s just the hard truth. It’s not my fault. I’m beautiful. I’m talented. I’m worthy of love and I can do this alone. So can you. ❤️
Day 6 after breakup...Listening to this everyday to remind myself he does not care about me. I'm not making a fool of myself this time round. Thank you for teaching us what real love isn't ❤
I’m in the same boat as you, so know that you are not alone! It’s not easy, but through time we will learn to manage and heal. I’m learning too not to tolerate bad behavior from those who “claim” to love me. Instead, I’m putting forth my energy into myself, God, and those who actually value and respect me. I wish you all the best during this difficult time 💖
I pray for your heart. May you find peace, may you find love, may you find abundance, may you find joy... That's what I pray for myself too, may we find that which is meant for us
Hey Sadie, I'm creating a course that leads you through break up grief step by step but im not sure if anyone would be interested, can you please let me know if you'd do a course similar to this but with heaps of videos on different stages of breakup grief?
Yes, I was beating myself up but I realize now that I do feel I am over him, that I was grieving the loss of him while still having some attachment. Yes it takes time, be gentle with yourself as you say and if you are clear that you will heal, it will happen someday for sure.
@@ExpressionsofAwakening I feel like i start grieving the loss of the person while i am still with them... best way i can describe it. I feel so confused and sad that i probably have messed my daughter up whom is now almost 17😓
@@LJohn-lz9pg Unless your daughter is an "imprint" of you ,children adapt as we all have they take what they need from what we told them worked and didnt work in our lives. Staying in a toxic pool will mess them up .In my experiences its the Humans who bring life to earth "against there will and choice" and then fight for custody etc Love my ex same as day one just taking different paths in life. Day one bringing a child to this place was an agreement never broken 50% 50% People change thats whats makes you ,you and I , Me Childhood bullshit My kids dont even know anything changed except Dads house and Moms. Teaching me about Hitler in school did enough damage for such a vile person we still teach kids that shit. Just like racism my kids have no idea but unfortunately they will learn it in school as we drag it on for another 100 years
Thank you for this. You have described my situation uncannily. I now realize that I don’t really love my ex. I am just holding on for the affection I didn’t get as a child.
I seriously cried watching this because it’s so spot on for me it’s crazy. Thank you for helping me see it. I really really needed to hear this tonight.
"I, just got out of an abusive relationship. And, I had to ruin his life to save mine. ", I called the cops but, "I, also told myself, "I was used to it. So, I kept, going back. "But, I got the courage to leave and call the cops. "I, had to army crawl and hold.my breath he didn't just strangle me. Oh, yeah he'd.pick.me.up as if I was some.kimda fking toy and throw.me.at the wall. 😔😣😑😡😭💔 Like, a.total fking douchebag. He, drugged me as well. With LSD, ketamine, cocaine and laced weed. "He's a piece of CRAP. Mind you, "I, have learning disabilities, have had siezures as a baby. And got spinal miningitus and bettastredt as a baby. . Which all almost killed me I should be retarted or dead but I'm niether. "So, I thank the Lord for that. Idk what else saved me especially being drugged with Ketamine. And that's a fking horse tranquilizer. It felt like each one of my fingers were being split right down the middle with a scalple. " I, started hallucinating saying did you hear that? Did you see that? Pointing at total strangers out in public. Oh yeah he took me everywhere like that. It was fking sad, humiliating. , Sick. He's put me in this yes, no , okay trance that's the only 3 words I was saying I wasn't even speaking how I am now. My personality was completely GONE. "So, that idiot could have killed me. Fucked UP thing is that his BITCH MOTHER allowed this to go on, since Nov. 8th of last year. 8 whole months.😈 She's such a dumb BITCH. Now, I'm afraid of everything. And, my dad just made me more unconfident saying, "I, have NO Idea how the world works. It sucks having learning disabilities. And having a drug dealer as a BF that drugs and strangles you everyday. And picks you up like and object and throws you at the fking wall like a TOY. " But that's my dumb ass for dating him not knowing what I was in for. "Then, blames you for touching his drug box when, "I, couldn't even reach it. Because, he's 6 foot. And. Only 5'3 very short. Lol, he's such a fking idiot. " I, was sitting on the bed the whole danm time watching him. He'd say too me did you touch me box you stupid bitch? I'd just say no I was sitting on the bed the whole fking time. You god damn lunatic. 😂😒🤦 "But, I had to.fight for myself. He stabbed me a thousand times, and then acted like he was the one bleeding. Not literally, but sure did feel Like it. Treated me like a fucking object. Like a toy. Fucking piece of of shit. He's the WORST man "I've Ever dated. Reminds me of my abusive father. Now I'm teffified of everything. 😭💘💔 He was basically gas lighting me. He didn't just do that he pulled me down by legs and strangled me. Then threw me at the wall. Every day. Blamed me for everything when I was sitting on the bed the whole fucking time watching him touch his stupid drug box. Piece Of Fucking Shit.😈😤💔😭 FUCK him and his mother. All I could tell him was, " I, hope someone blows your fucking head off because I was so pissed . He, littereally almost killed me. 😔😭💔 So, those of you who don't believe in God or angels, " I, suggest you do. " I, can not believe , I even loved a man that much to even go back to him or beg him to not leave me. " But I did. Like a dumb bitch. NEVER again will I do that. " I deserve so much better. And I'm way to good for his sorry ass. " I, hope he has fun paying my charges the rest of my life. Because he's the one who made those choices and decided to do all that like a fking idiot. " But, that's okay because I'm free now. And I know I saved some other poor girl from getting her ass beat up and down a wall and drugged and strangled. " We can NEVER forget the pain. But, we sure can stand together and stop it. For every man or women this happens to because it's not always just women. But, men to who suffer. "All, I seem to believe now I'd that there's no good men out there now. After all that but my mom says that's not true. "Hopefully, I find one. " But, so far I've just been working on myself and my healing stages. " I, know it's wrong to wish bad on ppl but, anyone feel that way especially if they saw what I, had to go through " Oh, yeah he's also grab my fave as if I was his child and say LOOk AT ME, WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! I'd just squel. Because it was terrifying. People ask why do you stay? Why don't you just leave? "Well, I tried truth is it's very dangerous to leave a situation like this it's way too much trauma. It, leaves you in pure shock. All I could say after it was all over was it's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault. Over and over again just like that. 😔😣😭💔 " I can't even begin to explain the torture and pain him and his friends subjected me too. It was just way too much.
That's the only wag that happens. Thinking abuse is love is never innate. Just watch 👶 or 🐶 try to console someone the think/sense is hurt 🤕 or feeling sad. They will naturally try to help the person feel better. We're naturally wired to want to treat and be treated with kindness and respect. It's conditioning that makes us think 🤔 anything less is 🆗 and even normal.
I used to say that about my violent relationship when I first moved out of the family home .I said I thought it was love and people said at the time maybe I didn't know what real love was and felt unworthy that's why I lived with that guy .but one day a light came to me and I realised I had to leave while he wasn't there xx
Brilliant. Co-dependents/Love addicts 99% of the time attract Narcissists and narcissistic abuse in relationships. Such a deep seeded pattern that leaves the vulnerable co-dependent/love addict a victim of an incredible eroding of self worth from the narc. An eroding of self worth which feels painful yet comfortable given the co-dependents upbringing. I am still attempting to let go of my narc. And to learn how to respect and love myself. I wish anyone in the same position the very best. It sometimes feels completely out of our control.
God Bless you Nancy. You are better and more valuable than being cheated on. Sorry for your hurt. Allow God to heal you and let Him truly show you how valuable you are in our Father’s eyes.
I feel your pain girl went through the same s*** with my ex that was cheating on me I just want to get her back .I wouldn't want anyone to ever go thru this pain! it's like someone stabbed you in the ❤️ god it hurts!
I don't know how drug addicted people feel when they don't take it but I know the feelings when every part of my body screams to call my ex 😭😭it's really hard
Are you sure you miss her? I mean, have you considered the possibility that you miss a fictional character you created in your mind that is not really her (I assume it's her, if not, sorry)
Hiuller Araujo its her bro,it's definitely her,I have no family and frnds all I had that was her now God has taken her from me because am not white bro,u don't know how that feels when ur whole body starts shaking when it's time to call her or u wake up in the middle of the night screaming her name or u simply can't just sleep😭😭😭
youarecreators3 am so over her bro but still am living in the world of anger.it's been two months I found out everything she told me was lie, she is a fucking narcissist,she cheated on me with one of my friends.I want to get revenge on her.I wouldn't feel this great if I didn't take revenge on her.I can't believe she could do that to me.
One other thing is when u grow up watching your mom stay in a bad relationship. I think that's actually one of the biggest childhood subconsciously engraved reason for this destructive pattern.
cherrydiva1 I wonder if that works on boys too cause my mom stayed in a horrible relationship and now I usually end up with woman who are self centered,controlling and manipulating 😳
I met this guy. I quickly became hooked on him sexually, emotionally and socially. I was crazy in love with him, and thought he was with me. I told him I loved him, and his reply was, he didn't love me, had not loved his ex and didn't he even knew what love was. WHY DIDN'T RUN? I then had SIX YEARS of torture, being hooked, obsessed, crying, being scared of being dumped, tolerating bad behaviour, lack of respect, cheating, constantly hurting my feelings. If a man says he doesn't love you BELIEVE HIM AND RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Lol wow getting a little bit over emotional aren't we? Is this what you were like with the ex? I can see now why he didn't give a shit about you haha... By the way Darling, nobody gives a shit about what you have to say or how you feel emotionally.. You are just an object to us men, and always will be.. I wish you all the best on a very very long and pointless journey to find " MR RIGHT" LOL... Maybe you're better off sticking to watching Disney films and crying yourself every night?Bye sweetheart :)
LOL! your comebacks made me laugh.. Well he obviously saw something in you he didn't like? You sound like another bitch playing sweet little innocent victim that never did anything wrong.. I'd like to hear his side of the story.. Maybe you were just shit in bed? Most men cheat because their Girlfriends are crap in bed.. Sorry to upset you sweetie pie but he's off fucking the next girl and enjoying life getting his tip wet and you're on here crying like a little girl lol.. Maybe you should just move on with your life, we all know he has :)
Damnit ! I was sitting here so serious and miserable. Then she said....” leave you sitting there watching videos on RUclips about how to let go”... Busted up laughing at myself. Ok...back to the serious.
Ditto! I started laughing at myself too. What she's describing is exactly what I'm doing! I never knew I had all these issues. I will now search for the "How to heal your inner child" videos. ;)
Oh my, this sounds so much like my current state. I had no idea. I am searching for an answer. When you think you wait your whole life for this one person, they come in and then they don't love you like you love them, it really hurts. Now, I am trying to get through it by a clean break. But, I still think about her all the time. Good luck to all the others out there watching this. I feel your pain.
I think I was no longer in love but chugging along. Working hard hoping things would improve. Simp behaviour hard to admit & but it's true. Co dependency was in full flow. I have to work on my inner child bruised from childhood separation. But if you met someone with similar issues it's a disaster! Good luck to everyone here! This pain & hurt is awful!
I keep coming back to this video because every time I miss my ex and want to tell her how I feel, I need to stop myself. I need to remember that she's moved on, she's rejecting me, and sometimes she's just using me regardless of how it would make me feel. I need to remember that I have to stop giving so much of my love to her, and start loving myself. Because I'm being sick and co-dependent. It's hard, because I gave so much of my love to her. She was everything I ever wanted, but now she's gone. And it sucks because it's hard moving on. It's hard to find someone who you can have that connection with. I'm being to think that maybe all the good women are gone. But I guess, reading some of these comments, maybe there aren't all gone, maybe they are just going through the same thing as I am right now.
twist3dlogic89 going through the same thing:/ yeah lets just keep reminding ourselves of the truth with these videos..hope you're hanging in there well mate
twist3dlogic89 I know exactly how you feel because I’ve done the same. It’s hurts so much to give someone you love everything you have only to be rejected and abandoned. There’s plenty of women in the same boat, so please don’t ever give up on finding someone that deserves you. And don’t listen to the fuckwit saying don’t ever get married or have kids. He’s got bigger issues than us!! It takes a real man big balls to put his heart on the line for someone he loves. Is coward like that dickhead that are so damaged they’re not capable of loving anyone except themselves. Just remember that you’ll make a special woman very happy one day and she’ll be lucky to have you. 😊
I don't think my problem comes from my childhood, I had a lovely childhood with two loving parents. I think my problem comes from the fact I attract alpha males who get obsessed by me, they bombarded me with love, material things, wanting to help, went all out to get me, then when domestic life settled in they got bored they looked elsewhere. I was a wonderful wife and partner like my parents were to each other, loving caring and supportive. I'm going to give my good qualities to someone who deserves it.
That nail hit home hard. I was wondering what I was going through. And then I realised something about myself. It's the women who chased after me and drooled after me and left me high and dry cause I was a nice guy. No more. I give all to myself and if I have even more to give, I will give it away to charity.
God...I wish I would have watched this video months ago before putting myself in debt reading with psychics all telling me "he loves you, he wants to come back but he needs to work on himself and so do you".....everything I needed to hear in one passionate video for free. You are going to be blessed madam. THANK you for the time and energy you spent helping thousands of people without scamming broken hearts in the process.
It's not them you want. Its love!! No one likes being rejected. No one wants to know they are not relevant. Let go of anyone who doesn't return your love, or doesn't see you as relevant. If they reject you, they don't want you.
It is scary how MUCH one's relationship with parents affects one's relationships with a romantic partner. Which explains why it is important to be a stable parent and partner with someone who can be a stable parent.
Rachel Gless Once you learn self and love self...you spot them quicker. Firstly by gut instinct, red flags you watch and keep in mind. Perhaps they will try and devalue or manipulate you which are more obvious signs. And lastly, keep your emotion in check, until it all comes clear, that the person is good for you or not. And of course pace relationships, so your body mind and spirit can discern people proper. 😘
I know how it feels to think the cycle will never end. Leaving him seems IMPOSSIBLE.. but over time, his/ her toxic traits will show worse and worse everyday. And you’ll just become an unhappy individual all the time.
Ann L :( I’m sorry, I loved my ex but she wasn’t appreciative and she got physically violent when I tried to give her wonderful moments... then she left out of the blue and cheated on me with a guy she met at the gym.... I don’t know how or why I still miss her
This is me. I told my ex. "if you are okay without me in your life...I am going to be okay with not in your life." It hurt that he didn't fight for the relationship but I am not begging anyone to be with me. Now he has the audacity to be mad.
The problem is that these partners are able to pretend to be everything you ever wanted. You fall for the love bombing and then reality shows itself later on. Cognitive dissonance is my problem...you are left wondering what happened to change their feelings for you.
This is my situation too. My ex was diagnosed bipolar and I should have known better but I was in a low place when I met him and he told me everything that was almost too good to be true, he knew exactly what I wanted to hear and maybe he believed it too at that point but as soon as he was done with me he was off to his next relationship the very next day and 7 months later he's still with her and I'm here thinking about him still but now I know I deserve so much better. Still hurts like hell but I'm grateful that he made me stronger and wiser
angelin johnson story of my life. It is the most head fucking thing ever. I have literally had to call psychologists a few times because I thought I was going crazy. It is torture and so cruel. I don’t know how these people sleep at night knowing the torment they put us through. 😢
soooo true!!!!! u just said it all.... sometimes you don't even want them back,you keep texting them to find closure of why they really left you because it was a perfect love....
angelin johnson yes what happened. And he told me I had a great body but a little soft in the belly - I’m tall and skinny and felt ugly. The women he is with, and I’m just stating truth, is extremely overweight pretty face. I had been with him for five years at a very abusive marriage and divorce. He called her slovenly came back when someone had really hurt me again and then did this thing he had never ever done to me. He told me to leave them alone. I was a sudden sex object.
I love this video I feel like she is talking to me I am in love with a toxic individual and I am obsessed thinking about him I need help because I am so sad but I feel better it's been about a week but her video I've watched it like three times and it's help me so much cuz I don't feel like I'm the only person who's gone through this
I felt his warmth which I didn’t get from my parents. My parents never hugged me or comforted me when I was upset. It’s not because they don’t love me, it’s kind of cultural thing. It is sad, I know. That’s why when we broke up, I felt empty and obsessed with his presence. I’ve just realized that. Now I need to work on myself before getting in another relationship. I need to love myself more and feel warm from inside instead of relying on someone else. There will be a lot of work to do. Thanks!!!
Hein? Thank you for sharing ur pain.....I hope by now you have "healed" and moved forward with/your life and found someone who loves you more than anything and treats you well:-) If not? Keep looking because the RIGHT! (and best person for your life that you're looking for? He is out there somewhere looking for you too:-) Never give up. Never stop trying:-)
OMG. I JUST HAD A BREAKTHROUGH!!! AND I'VE NEVER TYPED WITH ALL CAPS. When you said you have a need and you have to supply it for yourself. OMG. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I know just what mine is too. I'm in tears right now. Let me explain for others; I put aside the fact that they weren't treating me right. Yes, that part IS true. But the remedy is what did all these mates have in common besides treating me badly. What they had in common was that they were all capable of fulfilling my need, but they wouldn't. Because it wasn't their job! IT WAS MY JOB. For example, let's say you were never taught self value and financial responsibility. You would go out into the world and be attracted to people who had financial stability. But it isn't their job to hand YOU a bunch of THEIR money. So you perceive them as treating you poorly. Saying they don't share and are selfish (let's say). Well it's our responsibility to support ourselves. We never should have been looking outside ourselves for someone to fulfill the need . Yes as kids our parents should have done it, but they couldn't or wouldn't and didn't. As adults it becomes OUR job. Not our mates (to fulfill that need). YOU'RE BRILLIANT! JUST THE WAY YOU PUT IT, IT SANK IN! I'm covered with goosebumps right now. THE WAY YOU SAID IT'S NOT ABOUT JACK. IT'S ABOUT LOOKING TO JACK TO FULFILL THAT UNMET NEED, WHEN IT WASN'T JACK'S JOB TO FULFILL IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!
Thank you for clarifying it even MORE for me..thank you for sharing what you wrote. I just got it on another, deeper level after reading your comment! 😊
I understand the breakthrough, I had it too. However it IS everyone's job (especially someone close to us) to treat us kindly and build us up/encourage us in whatever way they're able. It wasn't until I was greatly appreciated /praised by someone that I felt more esteem. If there's no one there to fill the gap of love, yeah you would HAVE to fill it yourself. I think we all know (if we're codependent types) how intensely solitary that can feel. Might as well be on Mars or be overwhelmed with a feeling that could be called "Now entering death mode..."
I was in a relationship with unmet childhood needs, when I left I realized we both had been learning how to love. We are friends and have survived the hell. I was codependent for sure, he was definitely a narcissist. We both learned so much about why we’re the way we were. Grateful for the lessons 🦋
I'm really hoping me and mine can get to that point too. I still can't get over her but I want us to be friends because honestly just getting ice cream together would be so much better than all the bad times in the relationship
I suffered physical abuse and was abandoned as a child. Now in my 40s I'm recognizing that I've never had a healthy relationship. Going through another break up from a Mr Unavailable again! Thank you for this video. I have watched it multiple times. My heart is aching terribly but this video is helping me understand. Thank you!
Same here! It sucks. Always wishing they would change and love us back the way we loved them and they look at us like we are weak and pathetic and deserving to be exploited.
Boitumelo Gabashane - I think you are probably a really amazing person just waiting to be discovered and you could really have an exciting journey of discovering yourself first. You deserve to be loved back the way that you love others and don’t settle for toxic people who don’t appreciate and cherish the richness of your innermost self. Be with people who celebrate you for who you are.
Same here,it wasn't them that was the problem I have PTSD because of physical and mental abuse from a long term relationship and in my childhood from my parents, and I have always felt that I could not ever do anything right
For the past seven months I have struggled with my emotions over a breakup and the rejection. This is the first video I have watched that really gave me insight hopefully leading to recovery. Thank you.
Kimberly Sidor HEEYY THERE ! Sounds very much like my situation ! I’ve realized that EMOTIONS CAN BE SUCH a BARRIER THAT WE KEEP HAVING THEM WHICH BECOMES A DAILY HABIT ! I’d say unhealthy habit that it’s better to get rid of, it does sounds like you have understood and learned enough from them ! You feel stronger and shine brighter being able to control this not very positive energy in motion “e-motion” ! But you also know and feel like your can get addictive which will weaken your character and make you not so confident... Right !?!
As somebody whose been incredibly abused and used and bullied by past boyfriends and friends , its been one of the hardest things refraining from texting those people and telling them how deeply they hurt me. I am trying so hard to work on myself which means fully letting go of those people. May we all heal ❤
Good luck to you. Don't allow any more abuse from anyone. A person who truly loves you won't intentionally hurt you. Humans are not perfect and sometimes even normal people will say and do hurtful things but we apologize and even hurt ourselves for hurting others and never do it again. I'm sorry for the abuse you've endured...stay away from those people! Happy Holidays!
Wow, that really is hard. But you are doing the right thing by putting your well-being before your need for an apology. You can heal even if you never talk to them again.
I texted the man I had been seeing off and on for a year, he kept ghosting me, and admitted he had a LOT of female friends, (he meant he was whoring w/ a lot of women) more then likely, you can and will get played, men search out the vunerable, sweet, kind women, (bad men) and work you to fall in love, they then leave, come back , leave & come back, this is a PLAYER, I did not realize this when dating cause I had been alone basically almost 12 years, so once you baby them, nurse them to health, care and love them, they gain strength, and they CHEAT on you, if you are not savvy to a cheater / player's ways... be careful ladies, even older ladies get played moreso , cause men want a sugar momma, or play toy..... all a big GAME to them, no emotions , or if so, these emotions are flippant and erratic and not stable, it is a gamble, and a high risk to be with a liar/ cheater/ player, if he has been dumped a lot, he cheated on his ex's as well. I have interviewed random ladies ages 18 to 99 years of age, most all said, ' all men cheat'.... do your own survey, let me know what you find... the oldest lady , said her 2nd husband was screwing her own sister for years, she was LIVID.. I felt so bad for her.... God should not have let viagra be developed. Freedom of speech & press USA copyrighted, I am not a psychologist, I am a woman who attracts A$$H*LES. (bad boys).. the video is spot on great, thank you , it is the best one out there to heal with, it makes me understand what I needed to understand , and the YWCA has parenting classes and classes for abused women, it is a God send for your self esteem, check it out.
Wow! I knew I had abandonment issues due to my sperm donor/dad not being a consistent person in my life but you really brought my constant struggle in relationships to light. "It's that love you needed when you were a child", "what you're really needing to let go of is that unmet need." Thank you so much for your enlightening wisdom.
DANG this video is five years old, and it was something that I needed to hear. Unfortunately I think about him a lot. But I don't stalk his social media. Either way I needed to hear this message. 😊
Me too. I think about him a lot as well and I know he's not thinking about me not one bit. He rejected me even told me to go off and date other people in here I am in so much pain
Letting go of the past relationship paves the way to a healthier and better future to a significant other who will love you, value you for who you are inside and out.
People need to have a relationship with thierselfs and have a break ..but question I feel I can fancy a guy with all the good bits of each good part of every relationship .....and is wrong to fancy guys with the same looks .??.I feel being attracted to a look comes first then get over them quick if thier personality is not attractive ....
@@rohamp4223 all the people that I have been kind and good to did nothing but treat me bad give all that kind as to yourself and people that deserve it
I love this i just got out of a bad relationship today i was with him for 10 years , i was so in love with him an blind to the fact that he was cheating on me over an over, i would say to myself that he will change but he didn't an i keep giving 100% an he was give 20%. i am ready to start over and move on from his toxic ass .
I felt compelled to put a comment, I had a abusive father(narcissist) and codependent mother. I went through therapy in the 80's for extreme abandonment issues from my father(I could never do right by him). I am 42 and never married, I'm most in love when they are walking out. My ex and I were engaged and I could never do right by her (she was a make up break up type) I truly think she is a narcissist(she had a sugar daddy while we were together) and justified all her behavior. she broke up with me around the new year of 2016 and kept coming back to me through text baiting me in to see if I still cared. in May she had pictures of her and a guy on her Facebook. She still tells me that he is not her boyfriend and until just 2 days ago denied they slept together. I begged for her back and she has finally told me that she is done with me because I have too many things about me she doesn't like and I couldn't and shouldn't change. I have been depressed to no end and can't see life without her. in the last 7 months I have watched countless videos, read books and articles and this video was the most eye opening information I have come across yet. I actually listened to it on a long fast walk (been in bed for 5 days depressed). Thank you so much for the insight. I know I have a long road to go...but this helped so much!!!
Deric you need to let go of her... No contact means you don't check her Facebook and or anything. Self love is the cure and you NEED to realize this. Focus on yourself while performing no contact.
i guess i am guilty of break up and make up but its because I am insecure and couldnt let go. totally co dependent because he was emotionally unvailble a work a holic we were supposed to be married cultural dating then married and living together thats what i thought. he was always asking me to do chores for his family brother and wife etc. then do chores for him. when I asked for juice when sick ,or a chore to be done never had time or wasnt interested . realy am proud though i am able to see the signs a lot sooner and recongize the patterns eariler i had to break it off to let go really hard but here I am still clinging on to any beep that comes on phone that it may be him..
Deric Lomax I feel you. we are on the same page my ex fiancé broke up with me this new year of 2017. I still haven't moved on and still thinking our great times together. he broke up with me because he felt I was always nagging on him.he was so sensitive and instead of fixing the problem he just left me. I was begging for him to stay with me.but he said he's more peaceful without me and that he's not ready to marry me.. i still love him even everything that he says to me was so hurtful. I still keep our pictures and pray for him. right now I'm still in the process of grieving and I don't know when I will be move on from this. I believe that God prepared something better for us. and we have to learn from this experiences.. praying you'll recover soon and the rest of the people who also been experiencing this heartbroken thing.thank you..and take care
Deric Lomax Man this sounds like me and my ex gf except her new guy is no sugar daddy. Sounds like the same situation. I feel ya man. I'm living your pain right now.
Yes, you are completely right. If your mother and father pushed you away or were abusive in some way, you will try to correct it through your relationships. Rejection becomes comfortable so you will subconsciously search it out. Your parents are the first experience of love. And if they reject or hurt you they are giving you the wrong guidance system and therefore you pick the wrong people for you. It's such hard work.
omg this is the first video that makes sense instead of focusing on my partner it should be me! It’s so true I always choose partners that reject me. I was never told I love you by my parents and I see that is why I hold on to partners even though they tell me they don’t love me. This video helped me stop thinking about that insensitive ex boyfriend who left me!!!! I need a lot of therapy god help me!
Needed to hear this going through a tough time here, hurting badly... And yes she's definitely not good for me at all and for some reason all I want was her acceptance and love. No matter how much I help or everything I've done she puts me down. I'm starting to feel like a different person then who I used to be and used to like... I don't like myself with her and I need to freaking stop this madness!!!
Yeah doctor you must maintain your sanity, I'm going thru it too. Waking up thinking about her I hate it but I'm staying no contact. And changed my number, hope that helps you
These narcs reject you if you challenge abuse. So if you want them around you abuse is now a given. They have set the terms....you have given up all your power...you are accepting all they do.
You're screwed either way. If you're a doormat, they'll not respect you and cheat on you. If you set boundaries they'll cheat on you. They're gonna find a way to hate you one way or the other
Yes I had to end my relationship because he cheated on me, I just wanted him to apologise, to say let's work on this, I love you and I want this to work, but I feel I wasn't good enough for him to fight for. He's been cagey about what he's doing etc so must be seeing someone. I need to not message him.
In my opinion, this is one of the most eye opening videos on why we date the people we do and how we can truly break the cycle that really started back in childhood. Totally transforming! Thank you!!!
I found this video by mistake! She told the absolute truth! It stems back to your childhood I promise you this is the truth,that other person has issues too! Just do the work!
I was neglected as a child and my mother is the most cruelest narcissist. I begged and pleaded as a child for her to stop ignoring me or to hug me. When I met my ex of 7 years I genuinely believed that this was my prize for all the pain. On the surface he seems so gentle and kind and loving but I never got to know his true colours until he stopped loving me and he neglected me more than my mother did. I haven't chased him at all but every nerve in my body is pinning for him BUT he doesn't love me and I'm way better without him. He's with someone else now only 2.5 months after we split. My priorities at the moment are selling our house we own together and looking after our dog. He's left me to deal with it all on my own.
I was a kid who couldn't do. Anything right.This hits home. My mom told me once that I won't ever amount to more than a gas pumper. Guess what... It's what I do. I fuel aircraft. I get paid well though. Thanks mom!!!!
Bruce my mum was the same telling me I wouldn't ever amount to anything. She'd say terrible stuff all the time. Here I am many years later like you low self esteem. Through the years when she was alive I'm push myself so hard to prove her wrong but she never gave me any recognition.
@Robo Cat @Robo Cat? Happily moving forward w/ur life & putting that awful! man! out of ur life is the best thing you can do for yourself! LOVE the life you have now & all ur painful past memories will be behind you:-) Thank you for sharing ur story. It helps to know u are strong enough to stay away from anyone who cannot see the BEST! in you:-) U give other people (like me) the COURAGE to do the same thing:-)
Omg, everything is sooo clear now. I just realized that my exgf is a narcissist and I'm a codependent. I yern for her love and attention but she's only concerned about her self and never takes accountability for her actions always justifies everything even when she does wrong. Rarely do I see her say sorry, she just messaged me out of the blue after its been a month after the break up saying that she doesnt want to be together but still needs me in her life, I told her no but she insists on us being friends, not taking no for an answer. She even created another social media account just to reach me, it doesnt even seem like she is truly sad about the breakup more like she's just not liking being alone or be with someone who doesnt tolerate her crap like i did for years. She brought up issues that we had in the past that I apologized and overcame, never cheated on her always loyal. As soon as she broke up with me she begain talking to someone, how soon could she move on?? I was hurt seeing that she started talking to some guy the exact day of the breakup. I have to realize that ignoring her is the best thing for me. I shouldnt have responded to her messages, I was healing ok but now I cant stop thinking about her again. I am sooo grateful for you posting this video!!
You story describes exactly what I went through some years ago. She most likely already had that guy around and you just didn’t know about it. Stay the course and leave her completely alone. Narcs will never be happy unless they can make someone else sad.
I feel your pain. I went through the same thing with my Ex GF 4 months. ago. ..i found out she has NPD... I saw red flags that I never see in other realization ship before... The fact that I'm a Scorpio. I notice things quickly.... And yes it's hard to let go .because. I was looking at the good times.in the realation.. This video is helpful in letting go....thank you.
Jesus saved me from abusive relationships, I realised his love for me to die for me I was set free from fear and loving abusive men.I found this because I was interested to hear what you have to say ,I was praying for a spouse to be saved,that they can see Jesus love ,only Jesus can heal us and reconcile both to others and God .but were not supposed to be united with unbelievers as Christians if you are already united if they want to stay then stay with them but if they leave you are free.I was abused as a child so I just got in abusive relationships. Jesus healed me from this .God is my true Father.
Amen! My problem was that despite having a lot of faith in God I allowed myself to idolize my relationship and that person, tried to put matters in my own hands to make it work even when I knew it wasn’t going to, instead of just letting God so His thing in my life. The fact that He created us so uniquely will make me never doubt myself and not love myself again. I wish you all the best!
@@Cp6uja I think this happens to a lot of people,I can relate to you alot,I think idolizing relationships can be pretty fatal.People are people and subject to fail .I find at the end of the day only God can fully support us in everyway we need.Any relationship where Christ is not the focus and support of both people lives can lead to problems.if Jesus is truely our God and saviour relationships can be a blessing. And we can serve each other love and support each other instead of needing things or putting our relationships in the place only God can handel.thank for your message. May Jesus bless and keep you my friend.
Crazy how this works , sounds like your talking straight to me. And she was always obsessed with me back when I had the power to leave when she started with her shit. But after 10 years of it on and off I somehow became the one infatuated with her even with all the negativity and pain/abuse that came with it i still kids and constantly think about/obsess over her and loving her/making love to her and feeling like she loves me. Now that I finally said during this current breakup that I no longer wanted to keep contact constantly since she still calls/text me daily and always ask little things of me to keep me around since I did that and started ignoring her and cutting her off now she’s gotten crazy about me again and constantly trying to reach out. It’s unreal and even tho I know how Unstable and disingenuous she is on the inside apart of me still wants to fold and go back to being her “love” / punching bag and door mat.... But I’m done this time and focusing on me and trying to figure out my own issues and why I am this way. But I know inside its my dysfunctional childhood/being poor and a single mom growing up in the projects etc. and my mom was/is a little crazy and I somehow ended up finding the one woman I ever met that’s almost identical in her actions and even life story.... it’s so confusing and deep/messed up. I’m just going to focus on working out / saving money and fixing me for now. Sex is no longer an obsession like it was for me so I think I’m ready to be strong and move on...
That's the same exactly way we started he was obsessed with me and wouldnt take no for an answer I gave in and finally said ok i will date you now i feel like I'm the obsessed one now and hes being distant and pushing me away. But this is the last time. I'm done for good I cant keep emotionally draining myself it's not a heathly relationship. Good luck to you
Michelle B An thats what it does to it just drains you of your power / energy and positivity. I notice that when I’ve been able to cut ties for a little I get in the best shape of my life I live / think healthier and just overall am in a better place. Yet I easily fall right back into the traps and convince myself that it can and will be different and it is deceivingly great at first always before falling right back into that same cycle of negativity and puts me into a bad place mentally and I begin to under achieve and just overall complacent which leads to me stunting my growth and going from underachieving to trending downwards and taking steps back. The first few days/week or so is always the worst it’s like getting off of a drug and it essentially is as far as the brain 🧠 chemicals that are involved etc. but it’s so rewarding once we’re able to push through and realize how great we can be on our own and start to try and maximize our potential the possibilities are literally endless... Best of luck to you too sweetie I hope everything works out for the best 🤞🏻 just know your worth and rebuild that self respect / self love because you deserve the best life imaginable and to be appreciated and loved properly all of which is attainable if your in the right place mentally and surrounded by the right people or even if your alone by removing the wrong people and starting over , you can do and you deserve it.
I am back again, 6 months later trying to let go of the same one who was disrespectful to me yet again. I was the one who allowed the Hoover vacuum to metaphorically be plugged in again. He will not spontaneously combust into an empathetic person. Finally, I realized that as I jumped through hoops to get my father's love and respect, I was fighting this old war from my childhood on a different battlefield. Thank you for leaving this video up.
I went to jail for 6 years for a girl i was in love with,but I still saw her when I got out of prison,I'm a good person I was attached to her,obsessed over her,fantasized about her day and night ,I kept raining of her every minute,I was jeoulous ,emotionally upset ,stuck on repeat,everything you said in your video exactly was me,I tryed therapy and reading self help books etc, everything I tryed .I kept going back to her I had no control.she used me,she would not see me only if I gave her something,nothing helped but when I saw your video about how to get over a person u love,I instantly got better ,because u understand my exact problem.descibed me perfectly.now I have stopped thinking and realized everything u say has cured me ,thank you jeraryan,I love you Pat maranzino
Patrick Maranzino You Remind Me of a guy that I'm doing a similar thing to I'm not mean to him but because I don't like him every time he sees me he has to get me something otherwise I'm wasting my time to see you. There's a sucker born every minute
Thank you I need this right now, I broke up with a manipulator today. Every man has used me. I've been counseled but I need to go a lot deeper to be healed and change myself.
My boyfriend of 14 years left me a day before valentines day. I thought that once the COVID-19 lockdown was lifted, that he'd come back, but he never did. Im now trying to start my journey to healing but I didnt know where to start. Needless to say, I cried when I realised that my childhood has a lot to do with it. My childhood is something I've learnt to block out after my mum passed away when I was a kid and the family dynamics turned to shit. I didnt think my past was worth re-visiting until I watched your video. It's some powerful stuff and I'm so grateful that I found it. Now I just gotta find a therapist. Thank you
"He is a projection of my un-met childhood needs." Oh shit! You have hit the nail on the head and that hurts so much! "Ouch" to hearing that! I have had about 15 serious relationships in my long life (I am very old!) but the two men who made me ache and weep and obsess over them were the two who kept me at arm's length, refused to say they loved me, and would not commit. And it's taken this video to make me see that THIS is the thing those two men had in common. Other than that, they are completely different. Wow.
This is truly the best video ever divorce my wife 8 years ago I buried myself in my work I have been working very hard to make my life what I wanted to be I've always had a passion for sailing and now in October my dream of sailing is finally coming true I've been practicing no contact with toxic people who tried to come into my life my life is so much more peaceful these days thank you for your video
This has helped me realize it's better to be by yourself than to struggle with someone who has disrespected you. I have learned through this process and I can take these lessons for when I find the right person.
I needed to hear this at this moment. I'm sitting outside @ 6 AM going thru it and I'm tired. I have to find myself again and love me all over again. I'm worth it. Love Loyalty Respect Trust
I was married for 18 years to a woman who loved me and have me everything, then it became routine and I ended up leaving. The woman I met then was abusive in every way and yes she did literally spit on me. I was desperate for her to love me, but she left me suffering from post traumatic stress and a real mess. But you're right, I don't love her now, I think I need to be valued, need to be wanted, to be loved. And you're also right that I needed my parents to say 'I love you'
John James,I literally just got out of a 17 year marriage and feel like I wasn't really loved and all I ever wanted was to be wanted. Why we stayed so long? We'll never know?
I feel you man. I was married fifteen years to a good person. We just grew apart and didn't have a lot in common anymore. Fell into a relationship with a younger gal who was brutally abusive. The love bombing really got me. Then it went to legit crazy town. Find myself stuck in a loop of wanting her validation for whatever reason. This video is pretty helpful. I believe my problems in that area stem my childhood where I was trying to get that validation from my father.
Being a foster child my whole life this is sooo 100% true. Always wanting external love. Sucks to grow up with no one loving you and you keep looking and looking and needing. You will want to love someone no matter what they do.
I can help you if you would like . I am relationship coach with an incredible technique that can transforms you on the subconscious level and free you from the attachment and the reasons of attachment to a toxic individual
maybe 8 years is the magic number... I too have been dealing with this for 8 years, been blaming myself for not thinking of myself first. God bless you and your journey! You wrote this 1 year ago.. I would love to know if you finally walked away happy?
I am a woman of faith and integrity. I have battled this pattern all my life. I have had a true relapse with my Ex for the past 5-6 years. I have worked with Couselors. Now here I am watching your video. Perhaps learning more abut Neuro pathways and reprogramming. I believe that I have so much to offer someone but this draw to a man who keeps rejecting time and time again has folks who care about me worried.
I've never seen such a powerful video. I was raised by parents that are cold fish. Has definitely affected my relationships. Attracted to people that treat me like crap Very helpful.. thank you.
My parents were wonderful very loving . My childhood was wonderful . This man has love bombed me twice . But he is a master manipulator and has ripped my heart to shreds . Never ever experience this with anyone else
That was the most honest advice I've heard in a long time, im going threw it with a women who doesn't believe in labels or any rules or such things as a truth. I had to be honest with my value system and realize that it wouldn't work and what my worth is thank you
I really think you’re ability to deliver such a invaluable lesson in such a relatable, positive and non judgmental way is amazing. You’re spot on and this has really positioned me in the right direction moving forward.
You just made me realize so much about it being my parents, I look back at my exes and realized I attracted my parents relationship and embodied that , omg you are a God send you just woke me up , I instantly realized I was reliving my parents horrible marriage and chasing toxic childhood bullcrap , she was and is a straight narcissist I knew I was sick . It's a horrible pain I'm gonna be transforming, thank you so much for this video.
I swear this video saved my life. I have known for quite some time that i need to cope and deal with so much trauma in my past in order to let go of these men that have done nothing but destroy me. I had no idea how to until i saw this. My mother commit suicide when i was only 6 years old. My dad tried his hardest to be the best he could be but he let me down a lot as a little girl. There were so many times where i was begging him to choose me over alcohol, or choose me over someone in his life that was hurting me and i never felt like i was enough. I never felt like i was enough for my mom to choose me over her suicide. My whole life i have always felt like people choose everything and everyone over me. I met a guy that i fell for hard. We dated for 2 years and he was extremely abusive. The abuse was destroying me to the point that i tried to take my own life and ended up on life support and was in a coma. I was not supposed to live but somehow i did. He broke up with me a month later when i was recovering and not working. My whole life was shattered. I lost my mind. The pain i felt was indescribable. I remember him dropping me off at my dads house and i collapsed just screaming and panicking and literally feeling like i was dying. My dad thought someone must have died. I lost my mind. I called him thousands of times to the point he changed my name to 'psycho'. He blocked me and i showed up to his house crying and begging him to quit doing this to me. I looked fricking nuts but the pain i was feeling to this day makes me cry. I sat on his porch just screaming and crying and literally felt like my world was over. It was seriously something i would never wish on my worst enemy and the fact i didnt try to end my life in that moment still amazes me. He literally gripped me up by my hair and threw me in my friends car and told me i was worthless and garbage. All of the heartache i felt through that break up that night will alwaysssss haunt me. I guarantee you that my brain was processing the rejection of my mother in that moment and thats why it was so traumatic. A year later and i met someone else and the pattern was the same. We dated for only a month but he seemed amazing. He dumped me out of the blue and i remember just crying on my bedroom floor for hours and i never understood why i was so attached so fast to him. I found out 2 weeks later i was pregnant. I also found out he had been cheating on me and was dating a new girl 2 days later. She ended up finding out she was pregnant the same day as me and is due the same day as me but shes pregnant by another man. My ex and this new girl are staying together though. It has been my own torture. So he has been supporting her throughout her whole pregnancy even though its not his kid and ive been all alone. The rejection is all too similar to what i went through with the first guy. Him and his gf talk about getting married and raising our kids together and having more babies. The rejection of watching this man have a 'happy' family with a child thats not his and my child and a women hes only known for 5 months is too much to handle. In the back of my mind i know he does not deserve even a second of my thoughts and i dont need him at all. But the other part of me is still hung up on the "what if" factor. I searched for this video because i know i am going to have a little girl in 3 months that will be watching my every move. I have been so desperate to deal with this all and get over the codependency before she is here so i can be so strong and healthily coparent with him one day and raise her to be a healthy and happy women without the hurt i feel in my heart. Your video definitely set me straight and put so many thoughts in motion.Thank you so much!!!
You are amazing. My mom died when I was 6 and my dad killed himself when I was 19. I was beaten and tortured by my stepmom for 10 years before I ran away from home. I just wanted someone to love me and I had many women who abused that and abandoned me. You are stronger then they are.
Whoever is reading this, lets fight okay?;) we can get thru this painful heartbreak! We can do this. And we deserve better!
Its really hard.
Unbelievable. Ive been looking for this information for all my life. Ive cried out for so long. Every word she spoke talked to me. I want to get well feel complete, be me.
Thank you
Im tired of this feeling.
@@myriesalido9537 not yet. I also thought I'm tired. But may be i wasn't....coz i was in hope. When i let that go ...thats when i knew I'm mentally tired and there is no holding back.
When you are actually tired. Thats where things start getting better.
Then When you look from a distance you realise what you deserve.
Hope you get there soon.🙏
When the wrong people leave your life, the right things start happening.
Meg Galvez so true. Im prospering at work and getting a lot of recognition for all of my hard work!
Sometimes depending on their resilience. If you become damaged you may become unmotivated and not so adamant to embark on goals that you had set previously before the relationship
@@paylopayne9357 fix that shit
@@paylopayne9357 True.
@@paylopayne9357 Or you just may see sex as hideous after being rejected for another.
If you don't love you... you'll always be chasing people who don't love you either...
WOW!!! This hits so hard and true!!!
wow....never heard that before but it is SOOOO TRUE !!
Best quote of 2020! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
After a year of Broken marriage, my lover left me with one kid, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Anthony Abisogun which i met online who brought my Lover back to me. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about Dr Anthony Abisogun Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,with any kinds of sickness, He is the best spell caster that can help you with any kind of problems like cure disease, Reading, Win court case spell, get Visa spell, get a job spell, promotion spell ,Lupus , HIV cure etc...you can inbox him on WhatsApp
+2348143279478 or email Africamagicspellcaster2019@gmail.com
After a year of Broken marriage, my lover left me with one kid, I felt like ending it all, i almost committed suicide because he left us with nothing, i was emotionally down all this while. Thanks to a spell caster called Dr Anthony Abisogun which i met online who brought my Lover back to me. On one faithful day, as I was browsing through the internet, I came across several of testimonies about Dr Anthony Abisogun Some people testified that he brought their Ex lover back, some testified that he restores womb,cure cancer,with any kinds of sickness, He is the best spell caster that can help you with any kind of problems like cure disease, Reading, Win court case spell, get Visa spell, get a job spell, promotion spell ,Lupus , HIV cure etc...you can inbox him on WhatsApp
+2348143279478 or email Africamagicspellcaster2019@gmail.com
"it's not love, it's an addiction" something clicked when I heard that. This is the best video I've seen on obsessive thoughts for someone else by far. Thank you
I see an addition therapist Thursday over her ..
I think your right
Letting go of someone who means the world to you is a very difficult thing to do. No matter how bad he was, you still look for the positive things that he brought to your life. But loving alone isn't enough for a relationship to work. You should also think about yourself because life is too short to stay with the person who isn't capable of reciprocating your love.
True
A New Love Official so true
What u say about looking for good the hardest thing so true im so hurt and so stuck :(
Yes definitely I try to find the good in every one and in the process I get thrown away like garbage, I am tired of feeling like garbage, I want to matter to some one
@Lita it's pain not pian lol
Its like being addicted to misery.
Sian Megginson Exactly
But, not realizing it, & actually rationalizing that the misery is,in fact, our relief.
That's a good way to put it. I'm drawn to her like we have magnet's and then pull away like opposing magnet's are what we have. She knows exactly how to manipulate me. Why I am not consumed with hate and disgust I don't know, I love her instead.
I think I am, I need to get help with this, she hit the nail on the head for me
This makes sense to me it's like I'm addicted to being thrown away like garbage,it keeps triggering my PTSD
Note to Self:" Loving someone else to your detriment is not love, it is sickness!!!"
Boy is this the truth and I am facing it now and had been for 15 years. I literally get ill around the ex. Check out this dream I had about 7 years ago now maybe little more. In the dream my deceased grand dad visited me. Hovering over me he said in a stern voice "Do you want to live or do you want to die" "Your not taking care of yourself" "Yes I am Grammpy" "No your not!!" he said, "and that guy your with get rid of him he don't care!!!!!" I have always believed my dreams cause I always have dreams that come to pass and are always right on point. Still as much as this dream shook me and I woke calling the ex we have to just be friends. Well as you see I didn't listen and boy I have gone through hell like we all have. Happy Holidays Blessings to you.
So is lying and manipulating people to make them think your a person they or someone else could value and trust. When life feelings financial status age and even your past is all fabricated just to sleep with someone and who does this as a pattern to multiple people who puts them in danger and others life without consideration dictates the terrible you are inside.
EXACTLY! You need to love yourself enough to put yourself first!
JJ James I don’t understand what you are saying ?
@@carriedillmann4455go
One of the things that happens is, a covert narcissist does treat you well at first, they love bomb you, convince you that you do deserve to have someone treat you well... and then they discard you. So if you are already predisposed to co-dependency, the consequences are pretty devastating. Thank you for this video. It really helped.
Well said. I felt this all the way
@Monica Sabrin get out of here with this bullshit
The narcissist is the most evil monster who uses & discards people. I don't feel that my childhood was lacking in love, yet l have codependency issues
@@topkat8268 I know what u mean, I feel I was loved too both by my parents and grandparents. But when I dig deeper I realized that my parents didn’t have very healthy relationship between themselves at my most tender years and also my dad and both grand dads were showing signs of alcoholism. So maybe you did also witness some broken or dysfunctional relationships when growing up that you may have imprinted... Best of luck to you, world is full of people, why to obsess over just one that doesn’t even see your worth.
This is exactly what happened to me. I was spoiled and paid attn to for a month.. even taken on a 10,000 dollar trip and immediately after I was discarded for “a much younger woman” his exact words... I immediately blocked him.
Yes they don't miss you but they are missing to use you. they miss sleeping with you but they don't miss sleeping next to you. they don't miss walking with you but they miss walking over you. lets don't let anyone to hurt us more. it is the pain which can heal by the time but not by any medicine. hugs for all the people with pain.
Perfect, and I'm sorry you suffered too. Talk about PAIN.......
Comze Ecommerce solutions
Jessi if this is u im willing to do anything
Comze Ecommerce solutions right, but if god doesnt want them in your life, even if they might miss u, then god mshould say hey, they dont need to be in your life, u arent good for that person vice versa.
it shouldnt be someone hindering and thinking they are god saying dont speak to that person, the person that hinders has a god complex. they arent god.
Look yourself in the mirror.
See how valuable you are.
I see myself as a child and I tell the child..."I will protect you"!!
We all deserve to be happy!
Love yourself and move on!
Thank you for your comment
That is a very wise thing to do. Protect that precious child in you.
Even if you're not a child you should STILL protect yourself. You are STILL the same person 1- or 91 doesn't matter but I guess it's because children tend to be more stupid with things in life..
I need to do what Loraine does and see if it works for me
Carol Loraine not Loraine sorry for the typo Carol Loraine I can hardly see because I am crying and hurting so much
I don’t wanna feel that pain ever again I rather be alone.
Me either, I am feeling that pain right now and I don’t want to let my barriers down ever again.
Same. 12 days post break up and I can’t stop crying
You gonna get better it’s take time. STAY STRONG GOD ♥️ U
I’m focusing on myself this is a learning experience for me. I feeling much better day by day thank God.
The pain was crippling. After being in love for 2 years, she tells me we're done in a text. I was able to find her and confront her and learn she left me for another guy and didn't have the guts to tell me. Devastated but I told her to have a great life and walked away. Doesn't make it hurt any less
There are so many videos out there on “how to win your ex back”, “how to get the guy” I feel lucky to have stumbled across this diamond in the rough. This is the deepest truth and may sting at first but it is so what we need to hear. This inner child healing work is hard. It’s one of the hardest things you’ll ever experience, but she’s right. It doesn’t get better. The best thing we can do for ourselves is to heal our core wounds. So many of us were not shown the love and presence that we needed in order to thrive. Generational pain is real. The patterns stops with us. We learn to reparent our inner child and we learn to parent our future children so this cycle reverses direction. Thank you so much for your honesty.
This hits me hard. I understand this intellectually, but emotionally it is taking FOREVER.
Yesssssss, me too!!! My mind understands, but my whole system wants him back
I pray that you will be okay in Jesus name.
I am sitting in my living room feeling sick because I understand this
@@GMH9765 Sooooo real.
our minds and hearts work at different paces
when you ignore someone that has hurt you for 30 days and work on your mind to know your worth then you will understand this person is not in their right mind and they need to learn their worth as well.
@Henry Anderson not how he is because he does not know his worth so he is worthless to anyone that comes in his path.
Amen
@@MsDianneMaryWilkerson I know a strong and spiritual one who can help you bring your Ex back
@@stephaniemax9333 nah I'm good
I got back my ex husband with the help of a powerful Man and it works very fast and I believe he can help you too whatasApp +2.3.4.8.1.1.5.3.5.8.0.0.8 Email him via doctorlawrence4r@gmail.com
Toxic relationship are so addictive and we keep going back for more
Like trying and hoping to change them trying to prove a point subconsciously
Yes exactly! Give me more!
This is so true. :(
but why... I'm on and off with a narcissist its hard
Fem Virgo! Me.
This helped me so much tonight. With my high school sweetheart since 16. 16 yrs later we’ve been married for over 10rys. 2 kids. A home. He’s cheated off and on through our relationship and I kept hoping he’d change but this last time was the last time. He left on his birthday after exposing yet another affair. He wants freedom and truly feels our entire relationship has been forced and that all I wanted was to control him. That used to hurt me until I found God, entered ministry, and did a LOT of inner healing. Now I see him for what he really is. A covert narcissist who will never own up to his stuff. He’s not concerned with how his actions affect anyone else. The kids, me, our family. No, he feels justified because he suffered a long and unwanted relationship. The things we tell ourselves can be life or death. Now, I know that our relationship was built on co dependency. He wanted the image of being a great person, a beautiful life, a family man. We were just the cover for who he truly is and he did whatever he needed to do to keep his cover until he finally broke and couldn’t hide himself anymore. He’s on his way to rock bottom. Sure, I love him. I think I always will because he’s my first love and father of my children but he’s absolutely toxic, vindictive, and seriously out of his mind with the way he navigates this. I filed for divorce 2 weeks after he left and was so proud of myself. That set him off... yet he doesn’t want to be with me... calls me ugly... but don’t want me to divorce him and doesn’t want me to date?! My eyes are so open now. The old me would have crumbled at that and thought that he must love me if he doesn’t want me to move on. NO. He’s selfish and doesn’t want to see me ok or moving on from him because he gets satisfaction out of me suffering and pining for him. No more. This video gave me so much strength tonight as I was crying that he ditched our kids to go meet up with one of his side pieces and I realize that this man is just lost and isn’t capable of being a decent person right now. It’s just the hard truth. It’s not my fault. I’m beautiful. I’m talented. I’m worthy of love and I can do this alone. So can you. ❤️
Day 6 after breakup...Listening to this everyday to remind myself he does not care about me. I'm not making a fool of myself this time round. Thank you for teaching us what real love isn't ❤
I’m in the same boat as you, so know that you are not alone! It’s not easy, but through time we will learn to manage and heal. I’m learning too not to tolerate bad behavior from those who “claim” to love me. Instead, I’m putting forth my energy into myself, God, and those who actually value and respect me. I wish you all the best during this difficult time 💖
I pray for your heart. May you find peace, may you find love, may you find abundance, may you find joy... That's what I pray for myself too, may we find that which is meant for us
@@vickymugambi4816 thankyou ❤. I wish the same for you 🙂 x
Hey Sadie, I'm creating a course that leads you through break up grief step by step but im not sure if anyone would be interested, can you please let me know if you'd do a course similar to this but with heaps of videos on different stages of breakup grief?
Update,how are you doing ?
Do not beat yourself up for having this issue recognize that it is not love and that one day u won't care anymore
Yes, I was beating myself up but I realize now that I do feel I am over him, that I was grieving the loss of him while still having some attachment. Yes it takes time, be gentle with yourself as you say and if you are clear that you will heal, it will happen someday for sure.
@@ExpressionsofAwakening
I feel like i start grieving the loss of the person while i am still with them... best way i can describe it. I feel so confused and sad that i probably have messed my daughter up whom is now almost 17😓
I hope so
@@LJohn-lz9pg Unless your daughter is an "imprint" of you ,children adapt as we all have they take what they need from what we told them worked and didnt work in our lives. Staying in a toxic pool will mess them up .In my experiences its the Humans who bring life to earth "against there will and choice" and then fight for custody etc Love my ex same as day one just taking different paths in life. Day one bringing a child to this place was an agreement never broken 50% 50% People change thats whats makes you ,you and I , Me Childhood bullshit My kids dont even know anything changed except Dads house and Moms. Teaching me about Hitler in school did enough damage for such a vile person we still teach kids that shit. Just like racism my kids have no idea but unfortunately they will learn it in school as we drag it on for another 100 years
Thank you
Letting go of someone who's treat you like crap is the hardest
Treats*
Jennifer, or the emotionally unavailable, it's messed up.
Jennifer in some cases can be hard yes be blessed all.
not really!! if they treat u like crap, means they love u????
It sux
Thank you for this. You have described my situation uncannily. I now realize that I don’t really love my ex. I am just holding on for the affection I didn’t get as a child.
Me too
OMG I'm not sure who's more amazing: the speaker on this video or the commenters!!!! So many blessings to you all.
She's a natural on this vid xx
This I feel is Jenna's divine purpose on this planet. I just got chills!! God Bless her and all of us.
I had to play this several times. Just ended a 3 year relationship with a covert narcissist. Detoxing sucks.
Im in the same position. Broke up after 4 years. Wish you the best and stay strong. ♡
Everyone is guessing I’ll go right back. Ugh gotta fight this
stay strong!
I pray that you are okay in Jesus name.
@@aridrelex I pray your strength in the Lord. It is challenging, but I know that you can do it. I know that it is worth it.
16:00 min. "Once you unhook your worth from this person", This is HUGE!!!!! What a GOLD NUGGET!!!
cryptocoinscafe Because we are worth it!!! Sending you love & light.
I seriously cried watching this because it’s so spot on for me it’s crazy. Thank you for helping me see it. I really really needed to hear this tonight.
Yes
Sometimes people think abuse is love...when it's all they have known.
"I, just got out of an abusive relationship. And, I had to ruin his life to save mine.
", I called the cops but, "I, also told myself, "I was used to it. So, I kept, going back. "But, I got the courage to leave and call the cops. "I, had to army crawl and hold.my breath he didn't just strangle me. Oh, yeah he'd.pick.me.up as if I was some.kimda fking toy and throw.me.at the wall. 😔😣😑😡😭💔 Like, a.total fking douchebag. He, drugged me as well. With LSD, ketamine, cocaine and laced weed. "He's a piece of CRAP. Mind you, "I, have learning disabilities, have had siezures as a baby.
And got spinal miningitus and bettastredt as a baby. . Which all almost killed me I should be retarted or dead but I'm niether. "So, I thank the Lord for that. Idk what else saved me especially being drugged with Ketamine. And that's a fking horse tranquilizer.
It felt like each one of my fingers were being split right down the middle with a scalple. " I, started hallucinating saying did you hear that? Did you see that? Pointing at total strangers out in public. Oh yeah he took me everywhere like that. It was fking sad, humiliating. , Sick. He's put me in this yes, no , okay trance that's the only 3 words I was saying I wasn't even speaking how I am now. My personality was completely GONE.
"So, that idiot could have killed me. Fucked UP thing is that his BITCH MOTHER allowed this to go on, since Nov. 8th of last year. 8 whole months.😈 She's such a dumb BITCH. Now, I'm afraid of everything. And, my dad just made me more unconfident saying,
"I, have NO Idea how the world works. It sucks having learning disabilities. And having a drug dealer as a BF that drugs and strangles you everyday. And picks you up like and object and throws you at the fking wall like a TOY. " But that's my dumb ass for dating him not knowing what I was in for. "Then, blames you for touching his drug box when, "I, couldn't even reach it. Because, he's 6 foot. And. Only 5'3 very short. Lol, he's such a fking idiot. " I, was sitting on the bed the whole danm time watching him. He'd say too me did you touch me box you stupid bitch? I'd just say no I was sitting on the bed the whole fking time. You god damn lunatic. 😂😒🤦 "But, I had to.fight for myself. He stabbed me a thousand times, and then acted like he was the one bleeding.
Not literally, but sure did feel
Like it. Treated me like a fucking object. Like a toy. Fucking piece of of shit. He's the WORST man "I've Ever dated. Reminds me of my abusive father. Now I'm teffified of everything. 😭💘💔 He was basically gas lighting me. He didn't just do that he pulled me down by legs and strangled me. Then threw me at the wall. Every day. Blamed me for everything when I was sitting on the bed the whole fucking time watching him touch his stupid drug box.
Piece Of Fucking Shit.😈😤💔😭 FUCK him and his mother. All I could tell him was, " I, hope someone blows your fucking head off because I was so pissed . He, littereally almost killed me. 😔😭💔 So, those of you who don't believe in God or angels, " I, suggest you do. " I, can not believe , I even loved a man that much to even go back to him or beg him to not leave me. " But I did. Like a dumb bitch. NEVER again will I do that. " I deserve so much better. And I'm way to good for his sorry ass. " I, hope he has fun paying my charges the rest of my life. Because he's the one who made those choices and decided to do all that like a fking idiot. " But, that's okay because I'm free now. And I know I saved some other poor girl from getting her ass beat up and down a wall and drugged and strangled.
" We can NEVER forget the pain. But, we sure can stand together and stop it. For every man or women this happens to because it's not always just women. But, men to who suffer. "All, I seem to believe now I'd that there's no good men out there now. After all that but my mom says that's not true. "Hopefully, I find one. " But, so far I've just been working on myself and my healing stages.
" I, know it's wrong to wish bad on ppl but, anyone feel that way especially if they saw what I, had to go through " Oh, yeah he's also grab my fave as if I was his child and say LOOk AT ME, WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU! I'd just squel. Because it was terrifying. People ask why do you stay? Why don't you just leave? "Well, I tried truth is it's very dangerous to leave a situation like this it's way too much trauma. It, leaves you in pure shock. All I could say after it was all over was it's my fault, it's my fault, it's my fault. Over and over again just like that. 😔😣😭💔
" I can't even begin to explain the torture and pain him and his friends subjected me too. It was just way too much.
Very Sad how abusive people are to others. Don't let it "work" on you and steal your the life ahead of you.
That's the only wag that happens. Thinking abuse is love is never innate. Just watch 👶 or 🐶 try to console someone the think/sense is hurt 🤕 or feeling sad. They will naturally try to help the person feel better. We're naturally wired to want to treat and be treated with kindness and respect. It's conditioning that makes us think 🤔 anything less is 🆗 and even normal.
I used to say that about my violent relationship when I first moved out of the family home .I said I thought it was love and people said at the time maybe I didn't know what real love was and felt unworthy that's why I lived with that guy .but one day a light came to me and I realised I had to leave while he wasn't there xx
Some people intrinsically always knew their family was fucked up because they were always so much happier without them.
It's like a death, Give them a Funeral
Roxie Thomas Yes! The feeling of emptiness is real
Amen
@None Ya and cement the lid
Saw my ex at Walmart and was legitimately shocked. Convinced myself this boy was dead fr oops 😂
Right on
Brilliant. Co-dependents/Love addicts 99% of the time attract Narcissists and narcissistic abuse in relationships. Such a deep seeded pattern that leaves the vulnerable co-dependent/love addict a victim of an incredible eroding of self worth from the narc. An eroding of self worth which feels painful yet comfortable given the co-dependents upbringing. I am still attempting to let go of my narc. And to learn how to respect and love myself. I wish anyone in the same position the very best. It sometimes feels completely out of our control.
For 10 years he cheated, did some really bad things to me and I still wanted him back. Now I have work to do on me. Thank you!
I know a strong and spiritual one who can help you with a love spell
God Bless you Nancy. You are better and more valuable than being cheated on. Sorry for your hurt. Allow God to heal you and let Him truly show you how valuable you are in our Father’s eyes.
I feel your pain girl went through the same s*** with my ex that was cheating on me I just want to get her back .I wouldn't want anyone to ever go thru this pain! it's like someone stabbed you in the ❤️ god it hurts!
I tried too, thankful I left. 🦋🙏🏻♥️
@@stephaniemax9333 who can help
Lol. I loved that part. "He left you watching how to let go of ex on RUclips " lol
me too 😍😘🙋
right 😂😂😂😂
Me too, literally laughed out loud, only because that is so me!
Ouch lol
Yea me to that part hit me hard
I don't know how drug addicted people feel when they don't take it but I know the feelings when every part of my body screams to call my ex 😭😭it's really hard
Are you sure you miss her? I mean, have you considered the possibility that you miss a fictional character you created in your mind that is not really her (I assume it's her, if not, sorry)
Hiuller Araujo its her bro,it's definitely her,I have no family and frnds all I had that was her now God has taken her from me because am not white bro,u don't know how that feels when ur whole body starts shaking when it's time to call her or u wake up in the middle of the night screaming her name or u simply can't just sleep😭😭😭
youarecreators3 am so over her bro but still am living in the world of anger.it's been two months I found out everything she told me was lie, she is a fucking narcissist,she cheated on me with one of my friends.I want to get revenge on her.I wouldn't feel this great if I didn't take revenge on her.I can't believe she could do that to me.
youarecreators3 trust me she is paying real bad for everything she did to me.But am not yet finished with her.thanks a lot bro
youarecreators3 have you ever been betrayed or cheated upon bro?
One other thing is when u grow up watching your mom stay in a bad relationship. I think that's actually one of the biggest childhood subconsciously engraved reason for this destructive pattern.
I concur ! That's what happen to me!
cherrydiva1 I wonder if that works on boys too cause my mom stayed in a horrible relationship and now I usually end up with woman who are self centered,controlling and manipulating 😳
It happens to both sexes.
J Luke yes both sexes can be victims
cherrydiva1 yes thay was my childhood. . I think I need therapy badly
I hope one day I'm able to listen to this without a tear
are you okay now?
so do i
Man I just cried while watching this cause everything she said was literally spot on
Oh wow that's hard. But now that you know you can take the right steps to avoid it in the future.
Yes it was.
It is such a wonderful video. I can't believe this was made five years ago, but so relevant for my current situation.
Me too I feel alot better too
I was crying 😢 to,I found myself in everything what she says 😭
I met this guy. I quickly became hooked on him sexually, emotionally and socially. I was crazy in love with him, and thought he was with me. I told him I loved him, and his reply was, he didn't love me, had not loved his ex and didn't he even knew what love was. WHY DIDN'T RUN? I then had SIX YEARS of torture, being hooked, obsessed, crying, being scared of being dumped, tolerating bad behaviour, lack of respect, cheating, constantly hurting my feelings. If a man says he doesn't love you BELIEVE HIM AND RUN, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
Ted Bundy- Fuckin made me laugh! :D
Wow. Thank you for sharing
My story exactly. I couldn't say no to a man who never loved me for three years. Just starting over with nothingness
Lol wow getting a little bit over emotional aren't we? Is this what you were like with the ex? I can see now why he didn't give a shit about you haha... By the way Darling, nobody gives a shit about what you have to say or how you feel emotionally.. You are just an object to us men, and always will be.. I wish you all the best on a very very long and pointless journey to find " MR RIGHT" LOL... Maybe you're better off sticking to watching Disney films and crying yourself every night?Bye sweetheart :)
LOL! your comebacks made me laugh.. Well he obviously saw something in you he didn't like? You sound like another bitch playing sweet little innocent victim that never did anything wrong.. I'd like to hear his side of the story.. Maybe you were just shit in bed? Most men cheat because their Girlfriends are crap in bed.. Sorry to upset you sweetie pie but he's off fucking the next girl and enjoying life getting his tip wet and you're on here crying like a little girl lol.. Maybe you should just move on with your life, we all know he has :)
Damnit !
I was sitting here so serious and miserable.
Then she said....” leave you sitting there watching videos on RUclips about how to let go”...
Busted up laughing at myself.
Ok...back to the serious.
😂😂 I felt the same way.
😂😂😂💖💖
same
Ditto! I started laughing at myself too. What she's describing is exactly what I'm doing! I never knew I had all these issues. I will now search for the "How to heal your inner child" videos. ;)
Charin, “you’re” not “your”.......twice.
Oh my, this sounds so much like my current state. I had no idea. I am searching for an answer. When you think you wait your whole life for this one person, they come in and then they don't love you like you love them, it really hurts. Now, I am trying to get through it by a clean break. But, I still think about her all the time. Good luck to all the others out there watching this. I feel your pain.
Exactly!!
Going through the same " Its tough ' glad I came across this today xxx
I think I was no longer in love but chugging along. Working hard hoping things would improve. Simp behaviour hard to admit & but it's true. Co dependency was in full flow. I have to work on my inner child bruised from childhood separation. But if you met someone with similar issues it's a disaster! Good luck to everyone here! This pain & hurt is awful!
I keep coming back to this video because every time I miss my ex and want to tell her how I feel, I need to stop myself. I need to remember that she's moved on, she's rejecting me, and sometimes she's just using me regardless of how it would make me feel. I need to remember that I have to stop giving so much of my love to her, and start loving myself. Because I'm being sick and co-dependent.
It's hard, because I gave so much of my love to her. She was everything I ever wanted, but now she's gone. And it sucks because it's hard moving on. It's hard to find someone who you can have that connection with. I'm being to think that maybe all the good women are gone. But I guess, reading some of these comments, maybe there aren't all gone, maybe they are just going through the same thing as I am right now.
Old School what the hell? It’s true that co dependents draw abusive people like you.
twist3dlogic89 going through the same thing:/ yeah lets just keep reminding ourselves of the truth with these videos..hope you're hanging in there well mate
Old School MGTOW isn't wanted or needed here.
i felt this man... any updates on how you’re doing now?
twist3dlogic89 I know exactly how you feel because I’ve done the same. It’s hurts so much to give someone you love everything you have only to be rejected and abandoned. There’s plenty of women in the same boat, so please don’t ever give up on finding someone that deserves you. And don’t listen to the fuckwit saying don’t ever get married or have kids. He’s got bigger issues than us!! It takes a real man big balls to put his heart on the line for someone he loves. Is coward like that dickhead that are so damaged they’re not capable of loving anyone except themselves. Just remember that you’ll make a special woman very happy one day and she’ll be lucky to have you. 😊
I don't think my problem comes from my childhood, I had a lovely childhood with two loving parents. I think my problem comes from the fact I attract alpha males who get obsessed by me, they bombarded me with love, material things, wanting to help, went all out to get me, then when domestic life settled in they got bored they looked elsewhere. I was a wonderful wife and partner like my parents were to each other, loving caring and supportive. I'm going to give my good qualities to someone who deserves it.
i liked Ur words..
how r u ? hope u r doing great Charlotte .
If they get obsessed they are not Alpha but beta males pretending to be Alpha
I'm awesome thanks for asking how are you doing 😊
@@deantaylor8851 absolutely
That nail hit home hard. I was wondering what I was going through. And then I realised something about myself. It's the women who chased after me and drooled after me and left me high and dry cause I was a nice guy.
No more. I give all to myself and if I have even more to give, I will give it away to charity.
God...I wish I would have watched this video months ago before putting myself in debt reading with psychics all telling me "he loves you, he wants to come back but he needs to work on himself and so do you".....everything I needed to hear in one passionate video for free. You are going to be blessed madam. THANK you for the time and energy you spent helping thousands of people without scamming broken hearts in the process.
Amen smh
Michelle Edwards I Concur.👍
It's not them you want. Its love!! No one likes being rejected. No one wants to know they are not relevant.
Let go of anyone who doesn't return your love, or doesn't see you as relevant. If they reject you, they don't want you.
Imagine how much love you can give to the right person🤩
I don't think I can give another man another chance I think I need to love my pet cats and my daughter instead forget everyone else
@@HisaLight2mypath I feel you but. Take all the time you need, I'm in your same position right now
It is scary how MUCH one's relationship with parents affects one's relationships with a romantic partner. Which explains why it is important to be a stable parent and partner with someone who can be a stable parent.
Nitya so true. I wish I knew that as a young parent. It'd make so much difference. Maybe teaching in highschool would be a start.
It’s hard to understand why people take advantage of my unmet needs from childhood. I wish I hadn’t fallen for these jerks that are self serving 😩.
Me too
Me too it’s so painful
The same here 😔
@Mr Cabot because you are f sick
Rachel Gless Once you learn self and love self...you spot them quicker. Firstly by gut instinct, red flags you watch and keep in mind. Perhaps they will try and devalue or manipulate you which are more obvious signs. And lastly, keep your emotion in check, until it all comes clear, that the person is good for you or not. And of course pace relationships, so your body mind and spirit can discern people proper. 😘
I know how it feels to think the cycle will never end. Leaving him seems IMPOSSIBLE.. but over time, his/ her toxic traits will show worse and worse everyday. And you’ll just become an unhappy individual all the time.
"We are each our own devil, and we make this world our hell."
Oscar Wilde.
We r as sick as the secrets we all keep ....
I still love her so much.. but I ll move on rather then begging for love
Hemraj Magar i love him so much but he made me feel unwanted 😩
Ann L :( I’m sorry, I loved my ex but she wasn’t appreciative and she got physically violent when I tried to give her wonderful moments... then she left out of the blue and cheated on me with a guy she met at the gym.... I don’t know how or why I still miss her
This is me. I told my ex. "if you are okay without me in your life...I am going to be okay with not in your life." It hurt that he didn't fight for the relationship but I am not begging anyone to be with me. Now he has the audacity to be mad.
When you love someone soo much and that love is not in alignment and your constantly feeling rejected it's time to let go😑 It hurts immensely
I know a strong and spiritual one who can help you bring your Ex back
The problem is that these partners are able to pretend to be everything you ever wanted. You fall for the love bombing and then reality shows itself later on. Cognitive dissonance is my problem...you are left wondering what happened to change their feelings for you.
this is my situation summed up perfectly
This is my situation too. My ex was diagnosed bipolar and I should have known better but I was in a low place when I met him and he told me everything that was almost too good to be true, he knew exactly what I wanted to hear and maybe he believed it too at that point but as soon as he was done with me he was off to his next relationship the very next day and 7 months later he's still with her and I'm here thinking about him still but now I know I deserve so much better. Still hurts like hell but I'm grateful that he made me stronger and wiser
angelin johnson story of my life. It is the most head fucking thing ever. I have literally had to call psychologists a few times because I thought I was going crazy. It is torture and so cruel. I don’t know how these people sleep at night knowing the torment they put us through. 😢
soooo true!!!!! u just said it all.... sometimes you don't even want them back,you keep texting them to find closure of why they really left you because it was a perfect love....
angelin johnson yes what happened. And he told me I had a great body but a little soft in the belly - I’m tall and skinny and felt ugly. The women he is with, and I’m just stating truth, is extremely overweight pretty face. I had been with him for five years at a very abusive marriage and divorce. He called her slovenly came back when someone had really hurt me again and then did this thing he had never ever done to me. He told me to leave them alone. I was a sudden sex object.
I love this video I feel like she is talking to me I am in love with a toxic individual and I am obsessed thinking about him I need help because I am so sad but I feel better it's been about a week but her video I've watched it like three times and it's help me so much cuz I don't feel like I'm the only person who's gone through this
I felt his warmth which I didn’t get from my parents. My parents never hugged me or comforted me when I was upset. It’s not because they don’t love me, it’s kind of cultural thing. It is sad, I know. That’s why when we broke up, I felt empty and obsessed with his presence. I’ve just realized that. Now I need to work on myself before getting in another relationship. I need to love myself more and feel warm from inside instead of relying on someone else. There will be a lot of work to do. Thanks!!!
I'm same as you Hilen
Me too
Me too 💜
Hein? Thank you for sharing ur pain.....I hope by now you have "healed" and moved forward with/your life and found someone who loves you more than anything and treats you well:-) If not? Keep looking because the RIGHT! (and best person for your life that you're looking for? He is out there somewhere looking for you too:-) Never give up. Never stop trying:-)
Hien D. Nguyen well said. I wish you well sister. Much love and success to you on your path of life.
OMG. I JUST HAD A BREAKTHROUGH!!! AND I'VE NEVER TYPED WITH ALL CAPS. When you said you have a need and you have to supply it for yourself. OMG. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I know just what mine is too. I'm in tears right now. Let me explain for others; I put aside the fact that they weren't treating me right. Yes, that part IS true. But the remedy is what did all these mates have in common besides treating me badly. What they had in common was that they were all capable of fulfilling my need, but they wouldn't. Because it wasn't their job! IT WAS MY JOB. For example, let's say you were never taught self value and financial responsibility. You would go out into the world and be attracted to people who had financial stability. But it isn't their job to hand YOU a bunch of THEIR money. So you perceive them as treating you poorly. Saying they don't share and are selfish (let's say). Well it's our responsibility to support ourselves. We never should have been looking outside ourselves for someone to fulfill the need . Yes as kids our parents should have done it, but they couldn't or wouldn't and didn't. As adults it becomes OUR job. Not our mates (to fulfill that need).
YOU'RE BRILLIANT! JUST THE WAY YOU PUT IT, IT SANK IN! I'm covered with goosebumps right now. THE WAY YOU SAID IT'S NOT ABOUT JACK. IT'S ABOUT LOOKING TO JACK
TO FULFILL THAT UNMET NEED, WHEN IT WASN'T JACK'S JOB TO FULFILL IT IN THE FIRST PLACE. THANK YOU, THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!!
Thank you for clarifying it even MORE for me..thank you for sharing what you wrote. I just got it on another, deeper level after reading your comment! 😊
@@rachelarmel7547 So happy to hear that
And I got goose bumps from reading ur comment! Omg, THANK YOU for sharing ur insights!
YASSSSS BREAKTHROUGH FOR ME TOO!
I understand the breakthrough, I had it too. However it IS everyone's job (especially someone close to us) to treat us kindly and build us up/encourage us in whatever way they're able. It wasn't until I was greatly appreciated
/praised by someone that I felt more esteem. If there's no one there to fill the gap of love, yeah you would HAVE to fill it yourself. I think we all know (if we're codependent types) how intensely solitary that can feel. Might as well be on Mars or be overwhelmed with a feeling that could be called "Now entering death mode..."
I caught this video by chance. This was what I needed to hear. This is what I am dealing with. I like when you got serious.
Same here, trying to let go
So true!!!
This was for me , thank you, well said
I was in a relationship with unmet childhood needs, when I left I realized we both had been learning how to love. We are friends and have survived the hell.
I was codependent for sure, he was definitely a narcissist.
We both learned so much about why we’re the way we were.
Grateful for the lessons 🦋
Are you still together?
I'm really hoping me and mine can get to that point too. I still can't get over her but I want us to be friends because honestly just getting ice cream together would be so much better than all the bad times in the relationship
open communication & facing facts
I suffered physical abuse and was abandoned as a child. Now in my 40s I'm recognizing that I've never had a healthy relationship. Going through another break up from a Mr Unavailable again! Thank you for this video. I have watched it multiple times. My heart is aching terribly but this video is helping me understand. Thank you!
Same here! It sucks. Always wishing they would change and love us back the way we loved them and they look at us like we are weak and pathetic and deserving to be exploited.
That's makes the 2 of us 😢💔
Boitumelo Gabashane - I think you are probably a really amazing person just waiting to be discovered and you could really have an exciting journey of discovering yourself first. You deserve to be loved back the way that you love others and don’t settle for toxic people who don’t appreciate and cherish the richness of your innermost self. Be with people who celebrate you for who you are.
I suggest you look up Alan Robarge
Same here,it wasn't them that was the problem I have PTSD because of physical and mental abuse from a long term relationship and in my childhood from my parents, and I have always felt that I could not ever do anything right
For the past seven months I have struggled with my emotions over a breakup and the rejection. This is the first video I have watched that really gave me insight hopefully leading to recovery. Thank you.
Kimberly Sidor I hope you’re feeling okay now
Kimberly Sidor HEEYY THERE ! Sounds very much like my situation ! I’ve realized that EMOTIONS CAN BE SUCH a BARRIER THAT WE KEEP HAVING THEM WHICH BECOMES A DAILY HABIT ! I’d say unhealthy habit that it’s better to get rid of, it does sounds like you have understood and learned enough from them ! You feel stronger and shine brighter being able to control this not very positive energy in motion “e-motion” ! But you also know and feel like your can get addictive which will weaken your character and make you not so confident... Right !?!
I get what you’re saying. You’re saying that we have to do the work. What work? Where do we start “the work” you are talking about?
How do we build new neuro-pathways?
As somebody whose been incredibly abused and used and bullied by past boyfriends and friends , its been one of the hardest things refraining from texting those people and telling them how deeply they hurt me. I am trying so hard to work on myself which means fully letting go of those people. May we all heal ❤
Good luck to you. Don't allow any more abuse from anyone. A person who truly loves you won't intentionally hurt you. Humans are not perfect and sometimes even normal people will say and do hurtful things but we apologize and even hurt ourselves for hurting others and never do it again. I'm sorry for the abuse you've endured...stay away from those people! Happy Holidays!
sorry to hear you've been hurt so bad...hope things are better now
Wow, that really is hard. But you are doing the right thing by putting your well-being before your need for an apology. You can heal even if you never talk to them again.
I texted the man I had been seeing off and on for a year, he kept ghosting me, and admitted he had a LOT of female friends, (he meant he was whoring w/ a lot of women) more then likely, you can and will get played, men search out the vunerable, sweet, kind women, (bad men) and work you to fall in love, they then leave, come back , leave & come back, this is a PLAYER, I did not realize this when dating cause I had been alone basically almost 12 years, so once you baby them, nurse them to health, care and love them, they gain strength, and they CHEAT on you, if you are not savvy to a cheater / player's ways... be careful ladies, even older ladies get played moreso , cause men want a sugar momma, or play toy..... all a big GAME to them, no emotions , or if so, these emotions are flippant and erratic and not stable, it is a gamble, and a high risk to be with a liar/ cheater/ player, if he has been dumped a lot, he cheated on his ex's as well. I have interviewed random ladies ages 18 to 99 years of age, most all said, ' all men cheat'.... do your own survey, let me know what you find... the oldest lady , said her 2nd husband was screwing her own sister for years, she was LIVID.. I felt so bad for her....
God should not have let viagra be developed.
Freedom of speech & press USA copyrighted, I am not a psychologist, I am a woman who attracts A$$H*LES. (bad boys)..
the video is spot on great, thank you , it is the best one out there to heal with, it makes me understand what I needed to understand , and the YWCA has parenting classes and classes for abused women, it is a God send for your self esteem, check it out.
Yes indeed,
Wow! I knew I had abandonment issues due to my sperm donor/dad not being a consistent person in my life but you really brought my constant struggle in relationships to light. "It's that love you needed when you were a child", "what you're really needing to let go of is that unmet need." Thank you so much for your enlightening wisdom.
DANG this video is five years old, and it was something that I needed to hear. Unfortunately I think about him a lot. But I don't stalk his social media. Either way I needed to hear this message. 😊
I know a strong and spiritual one who can help you bring your Ex back
Me too. I think about him a lot as well and I know he's not thinking about me not one bit.
He rejected me even told me to go off and date other people in here I am in so much pain
Letting go of the past relationship paves the way to a healthier and better future to a significant other who will love you, value you for who you are inside and out.
People need to have a relationship with thierselfs and have a break ..but question I feel I can fancy a guy with all the good bits of each good part of every relationship .....and is wrong to fancy guys with the same looks .??.I feel being attracted to a look comes first then get over them quick if thier personality is not attractive ....
It’s rejection that hurts!
Yes, it does...
Very hurting
Especially when you know you have been nothing but good 😔
@@rohamp4223 all the people that I have been kind and good to did nothing but treat me bad give all that kind as to yourself and people that deserve it
That's true
I love this i just got out of a bad relationship today i was with him for 10 years , i was so in love with him an blind to the fact that he was cheating on me over an over, i would say to myself that he will change but he didn't an i keep giving 100% an he was give 20%. i am ready to start over and move on from his toxic ass .
Going through the same thing and i hope and i hope your doing fine sis❤👌🤙🙌👊we got this
I felt compelled to put a comment, I had a abusive father(narcissist) and codependent mother. I went through therapy in the 80's for extreme abandonment issues from my father(I could never do right by him). I am 42 and never married, I'm most in love when they are walking out. My ex and I were engaged and I could never do right by her (she was a make up break up type) I truly think she is a narcissist(she had a sugar daddy while we were together) and justified all her behavior. she broke up with me around the new year of 2016 and kept coming back to me through text baiting me in to see if I still cared. in May she had pictures of her and a guy on her Facebook. She still tells me that he is not her boyfriend and until just 2 days ago denied they slept together. I begged for her back and she has finally told me that she is done with me because I have too many things about me she doesn't like and I couldn't and shouldn't change. I have been depressed to no end and can't see life without her. in the last 7 months I have watched countless videos, read books and articles and this video was the most eye opening information I have come across yet. I actually listened to it on a long fast walk (been in bed for 5 days depressed). Thank you so much for the insight. I know I have a long road to go...but this helped so much!!!
Deric you need to let go of her... No contact means you don't check her Facebook and or anything. Self love is the cure and you NEED to realize this. Focus on yourself while performing no contact.
i guess i am guilty of break up and make up but its because I am insecure and couldnt let go. totally co dependent because he was emotionally unvailble a work a holic we were supposed to be married cultural dating then married and living together thats what i thought. he was always asking me to do chores for his family brother and wife etc. then do chores for him. when I asked for juice when sick ,or a chore to be done never had time or wasnt interested . realy am proud though i am able to see the signs a lot sooner and recongize the patterns eariler i had to break it off to let go really hard but here I am still clinging on to any beep that comes on phone that it may be him..
Deric Lomax I feel you. we are on the same page my ex fiancé broke up with me this new year of 2017. I still haven't moved on and still thinking our great times together. he broke up with me because he felt I was always nagging on him.he was so sensitive and instead of fixing the problem he just left me. I was begging for him to stay with me.but he said he's more peaceful without me and that he's not ready to marry me.. i still love him even everything that he says to me was so hurtful. I still keep our pictures and pray for him. right now I'm still in the process of grieving and I don't know when I will be move on from this. I believe that God prepared something better for us. and we have to learn from this experiences.. praying you'll recover soon and the rest of the people who also been experiencing this heartbroken thing.thank you..and take care
Deric Lomax sorry about what you're going through. RUclips really has some great videos for help 😊
Deric Lomax Man this sounds like me and my ex gf except her new guy is no sugar daddy. Sounds like the same situation. I feel ya man. I'm living your pain right now.
Yes, you are completely right. If your mother and father pushed you away or were abusive in some way, you will try to correct it through your relationships. Rejection becomes comfortable so you will subconsciously search it out. Your parents are the first experience of love. And if they reject or hurt you they are giving you the wrong guidance system and therefore you pick the wrong people for you. It's such hard work.
omg this is the first video that makes sense instead of focusing on my partner it should be me! It’s so true I always choose partners that reject me. I was never told I love you by my parents and I see that is why I hold on to partners even though they tell me they don’t love me. This video helped me stop thinking about that insensitive ex boyfriend who left me!!!! I need a lot of therapy god help me!
Needed to hear this going through a tough time here, hurting badly... And yes she's definitely not good for me at all and for some reason all I want was her acceptance and love. No matter how much I help or everything I've done she puts me down. I'm starting to feel like a different person then who I used to be and used to like... I don't like myself with her and I need to freaking stop this madness!!!
Yeah doctor you must maintain your sanity, I'm going thru it too. Waking up thinking about her I hate it but I'm staying no contact. And changed my number, hope that helps you
These narcs reject you if you challenge abuse. So if you want them around you abuse is now a given. They have set the terms....you have given up all your power...you are accepting all they do.
Louise Conroy you f’n nailed that one bro! Well said!!! And totally true!
You're screwed either way. If you're a doormat, they'll not respect you and cheat on you. If you set boundaries they'll cheat on you. They're gonna find a way to hate you one way or the other
@@jake373 "They're going to find a way to hate you one way or another." 💯💯
Yes!
@@jake373 nailed it. Theres 0 way to co exist with the narc & not endure abuse!
"It's not Jack, it's that unmet need" hits deep.. thank you so much for those insights.
I'm in the PAIN right now...
If the other person accepted and loved you you wouldn't be in it.
Yes I had to end my relationship because he cheated on me, I just wanted him to apologise, to say let's work on this, I love you and I want this to work, but I feel I wasn't good enough for him to fight for. He's been cagey about what he's doing etc so must be seeing someone. I need to not message him.
How are you now? I'm in this pain now!
In my opinion, this is one of the most eye opening videos on why we date the people we do and how we can truly break the cycle that really started back in childhood. Totally transforming! Thank you!!!
I can't thank you enough for this video, I finally know what i need to do to fix this behavior of falling in love with unavailable people.
I found this video by mistake! She told the absolute truth! It stems back to your childhood I promise you this is the truth,that other person has issues too! Just do the work!
“It’s not Jack that you’re wanting”... it’s JACKASS ... (LOL). Great video👌🏽
😭
Omg I literally have he’s number saved in my phone as jackass 🤣 and its true its the Jackass i want 😖
I was neglected as a child and my mother is the most cruelest narcissist. I begged and pleaded as a child for her to stop ignoring me or to hug me. When I met my ex of 7 years I genuinely believed that this was my prize for all the pain. On the surface he seems so gentle and kind and loving but I never got to know his true colours until he stopped loving me and he neglected me more than my mother did. I haven't chased him at all but every nerve in my body is pinning for him BUT he doesn't love me and I'm way better without him. He's with someone else now only 2.5 months after we split. My priorities at the moment are selling our house we own together and looking after our dog. He's left me to deal with it all on my own.
I was a kid who couldn't do. Anything right.This hits home. My mom told me once that I won't ever amount to more than a gas pumper. Guess what... It's what I do. I fuel aircraft. I get paid well though. Thanks mom!!!!
Good for you Bruce! I'm so glad you didn't believe that about yourself.
Bruce my mum was the same telling me I wouldn't ever amount to anything. She'd say terrible stuff all the time. Here I am many years later like you low self esteem. Through the years when she was alive I'm push myself so hard to prove her wrong but she never gave me any recognition.
Good for you! I am so happy ur life turned out better than your childhood! LOVING the life we have now is the best way to heal from our past:-)
Bruce Brumfield I appreciate and admire you for your honesty and openness. Prayers of Love for you brother.
@Robo Cat @Robo Cat? Happily moving forward w/ur life & putting that awful! man! out of ur life is the best thing you can do for yourself! LOVE the life you have now & all ur painful past memories will be behind you:-) Thank you for sharing ur story. It helps to know u are strong enough to stay away from anyone who cannot see the BEST! in you:-) U give other people (like me) the COURAGE to do the same thing:-)
Omg, everything is sooo clear now. I just realized that my exgf is a narcissist and I'm a codependent. I yern for her love and attention but she's only concerned about her self and never takes accountability for her actions always justifies everything even when she does wrong. Rarely do I see her say sorry, she just messaged me out of the blue after its been a month after the break up saying that she doesnt want to be together but still needs me in her life, I told her no but she insists on us being friends, not taking no for an answer. She even created another social media account just to reach me, it doesnt even seem like she is truly sad about the breakup more like she's just not liking being alone or be with someone who doesnt tolerate her crap like i did for years. She brought up issues that we had in the past that I apologized and overcame, never cheated on her always loyal. As soon as she broke up with me she begain talking to someone, how soon could she move on?? I was hurt seeing that she started talking to some guy the exact day of the breakup. I have to realize that ignoring her is the best thing for me. I shouldnt have responded to her messages, I was healing ok but now I cant stop thinking about her again. I am sooo grateful for you posting this video!!
You story describes exactly what I went through some years ago. She most likely already had that guy around and you just didn’t know about it. Stay the course and leave her completely alone. Narcs will never be happy unless they can make someone else sad.
@@gimmehugs1615 thanks man, I appreciate your reply. It's tough, it's really freakin difficult but i will manage
I hope you are doing better! There are so many mentally ill people put there, we have to be careful!
I feel your pain. I went through the same thing with my Ex GF 4 months. ago. ..i found out she has NPD... I saw red flags that I never see in other realization ship before... The fact that I'm a Scorpio. I notice things quickly.... And yes it's hard to let go .because. I was looking at the good times.in the realation.. This video is helpful in letting go....thank you.
Jesus saved me from abusive relationships, I realised his love for me to die for me I was set free from fear and loving abusive men.I found this because I was interested to hear what you have to say ,I was praying for a spouse to be saved,that they can see Jesus love ,only Jesus can heal us and reconcile both to others and God .but were not supposed to be united with unbelievers as Christians if you are already united if they want to stay then stay with them but if they leave you are free.I was abused as a child so I just got in abusive relationships. Jesus healed me from this .God is my true Father.
Amen! My problem was that despite having a lot of faith in God I allowed myself to idolize my relationship and that person, tried to put matters in my own hands to make it work even when I knew it wasn’t going to, instead of just letting God so His thing in my life. The fact that He created us so uniquely will make me never doubt myself and not love myself again. I wish you all the best!
@@Cp6uja I think this happens to a lot of people,I can relate to you alot,I think idolizing relationships can be pretty fatal.People are people and subject to fail .I find at the end of the day only God can fully support us in everyway we need.Any relationship where Christ is not the focus and support of both people lives can lead to problems.if Jesus is truely our God and saviour relationships can be a blessing. And we can serve each other love and support each other instead of needing things or putting our relationships in the place only God can handel.thank for your message. May Jesus bless and keep you my friend.
Crazy how this works , sounds like your talking straight to me. And she was always obsessed with me back when I had the power to leave when she started with her shit. But after 10 years of it on and off I somehow became the one infatuated with her even with all the negativity and pain/abuse that came with it i still kids and constantly think about/obsess over her and loving her/making love to her and feeling like she loves me. Now that I finally said during this current breakup that I no longer wanted to keep contact constantly since she still calls/text me daily and always ask little things of me to keep me around since I did that and started ignoring her and cutting her off now she’s gotten crazy about me again and constantly trying to reach out. It’s unreal and even tho I know how Unstable and disingenuous she is on the inside apart of me still wants to fold and go back to being her “love” / punching bag and door mat.... But I’m done this time and focusing on me and trying to figure out my own issues and why I am this way. But I know inside its my dysfunctional childhood/being poor and a single mom growing up in the projects etc. and my mom was/is a little crazy and I somehow ended up finding the one woman I ever met that’s almost identical in her actions and even life story.... it’s so confusing and deep/messed up. I’m just going to focus on working out / saving money and fixing me for now. Sex is no longer an obsession like it was for me so I think I’m ready to be strong and move on...
Right there with ya man. I haven't gotten as far as you yet, but mine was/is the same way.
That's the same exactly way we started he was obsessed with me and wouldnt take no for an answer I gave in and finally said ok i will date you now i feel like I'm the obsessed one now and hes being distant and pushing me away. But this is the last time. I'm done for good I cant keep emotionally draining myself it's not a heathly relationship. Good luck to you
Michelle B An thats what it does to it just drains you of your power / energy and positivity. I notice that when I’ve been able to cut ties for a little I get in the best shape of my life I live / think healthier and just overall am in a better place. Yet I easily fall right back into the traps and convince myself that it can and will be different and it is deceivingly great at first always before falling right back into that same cycle of negativity and puts me into a bad place mentally and I begin to under achieve and just overall complacent which leads to me stunting my growth and going from underachieving to trending downwards and taking steps back. The first few days/week or so is always the worst it’s like getting off of a drug and it essentially is as far as the brain 🧠 chemicals that are involved etc. but it’s so rewarding once we’re able to push through and realize how great we can be on our own and start to try and maximize our potential the possibilities are literally endless... Best of luck to you too sweetie I hope everything works out for the best 🤞🏻 just know your worth and rebuild that self respect / self love because you deserve the best life imaginable and to be appreciated and loved properly all of which is attainable if your in the right place mentally and surrounded by the right people or even if your alone by removing the wrong people and starting over , you can do and you deserve it.
Yeah- I was dating a guy who turned out just like my Dad- Great!
@@ethanharvey4869I can relate....Great comment!
I am back again, 6 months later trying to let go of the same one who was disrespectful to me yet again. I was the one who allowed the Hoover vacuum to metaphorically be plugged in again. He will not spontaneously combust into an empathetic person. Finally, I realized that as I jumped through hoops to get my father's love and respect, I was fighting this old war from my childhood on a different battlefield. Thank you for leaving this video up.
Nicely said
dlw sport !!! Same
I went to jail for 6 years for a girl i was in love with,but I still saw her when I got out of prison,I'm a good person I was attached to her,obsessed over her,fantasized about her day and night ,I kept raining of her every minute,I was jeoulous ,emotionally upset ,stuck on repeat,everything you said in your video exactly was me,I tryed therapy and reading self help books etc, everything I tryed .I kept going back to her I had no control.she used me,she would not see me only if I gave her something,nothing helped but when I saw your video about how to get over a person u love,I instantly got better ,because u understand my exact problem.descibed me perfectly.now I have stopped thinking and realized everything u say has cured me ,thank you jeraryan,I love you Pat maranzino
Way to go, that's great!
Patrick Maranzino You Remind Me of a guy that I'm doing a similar thing to I'm not mean to him but because I don't like him every time he sees me he has to get me something otherwise I'm wasting my time to see you. There's a sucker born every minute
Jessieee72 your mum is a gold digging cow!
Thank you I need this right now, I broke up with a manipulator today.
Every man has used me. I've been counseled but I need to go a lot deeper to be healed and change myself.
I know a strong and spiritual one who can help you bring your Ex back
My boyfriend of 14 years left me a day before valentines day. I thought that once the COVID-19 lockdown was lifted, that he'd come back, but he never did. Im now trying to start my journey to healing but I didnt know where to start. Needless to say, I cried when I realised that my childhood has a lot to do with it. My childhood is something I've learnt to block out after my mum passed away when I was a kid and the family dynamics turned to shit. I didnt think my past was worth re-visiting until I watched your video. It's some powerful stuff and I'm so grateful that I found it. Now I just gotta find a therapist. Thank you
Me too atoki, blessings and hugs 🙏💜
Did he come back?
"He is a projection of my un-met childhood needs." Oh shit! You have hit the nail on the head and that hurts so much! "Ouch" to hearing that! I have had about 15 serious relationships in my long life (I am very old!) but the two men who made me ache and weep and obsess over them were the two who kept me at arm's length, refused to say they loved me, and would not commit. And it's taken this video to make me see that THIS is the thing those two men had in common. Other than that, they are completely different. Wow.
Leigh Levet me too!
This is truly the best video ever divorce my wife 8 years ago I buried myself in my work I have been working very hard to make my life what I wanted to be I've always had a passion for sailing and now in October my dream of sailing is finally coming true I've been practicing no contact with toxic people who tried to come into my life my life is so much more peaceful these days thank you for your video
Congrats on your sailing!! That's so awesome! I hope you do find love and wow 8 years.
It’s 2019, and this video popped up and really helped me. Thank you so much for this. ❤️
Your amazing at the age of 45 I cannot say how happy I feel knowing this it makes sense to me now..... finally, Thankyou ❤️❤️❤️
This has helped me realize it's better to be by yourself than to struggle with someone who has disrespected you. I have learned through this process and I can take these lessons for when I find the right person.
I needed to hear this at this moment. I'm sitting outside @ 6 AM going thru it and I'm tired. I have to find myself again and love me all over again. I'm worth it. Love Loyalty Respect Trust
Freedom💖
I was married for 18 years to a woman who loved me and have me everything, then it became routine and I ended up leaving. The woman I met then was abusive in every way and yes she did literally spit on me. I was desperate for her to love me, but she left me suffering from post traumatic stress and a real mess. But you're right, I don't love her now, I think I need to be valued, need to be wanted, to be loved. And you're also right that I needed my parents to say 'I love you'
John James,I literally just got out of a 17 year marriage and feel like I wasn't really loved and all I ever wanted was to be wanted. Why we stayed so long? We'll never know?
I feel you man. I was married fifteen years to a good person. We just grew apart and didn't have a lot in common anymore. Fell into a relationship with a younger gal who was brutally abusive. The love bombing really got me. Then it went to legit crazy town. Find myself stuck in a loop of wanting her validation for whatever reason. This video is pretty helpful. I believe my problems in that area stem my childhood where I was trying to get that validation from my father.
Sorry, mine spit on me too and wiped dog poo. He's a piece of crap.
Being a foster child my whole life this is sooo 100% true. Always wanting external love. Sucks to grow up with no one loving you and you keep looking and looking and needing. You will want to love someone no matter what they do.
,100% lost my parents early in life
Exactly the same for me I had inconsistent caregivers and all I do is constantly seek men for validation.
@@HisaLight2mypath are u scorp with aquarius
@@Cheryn77 no he's a Virgo and I am a libra. It wasn't a long relationship
but he rejected me and now I have to deal with the pain as usual.
Totally sucks! But you can heal and love yourself.
8 years I've been dealing with this I wanna be set free! I know he doesn't love me and i need to finally let go.
I can help you if you would like . I am relationship coach with an incredible technique that can transforms you on the subconscious level and free you from the attachment and the reasons of attachment to a toxic individual
maybe 8 years is the magic number... I too have been dealing with this for 8 years, been blaming myself for not thinking of myself first. God bless you and your journey! You wrote this 1 year ago.. I would love to know if you finally walked away happy?
@@marylyons For me it has only been one year. Yet, I want to do the work to let go now. God bless you too.
Wow!! Thanks for opening my eyes!
I am a woman of faith and integrity. I have battled this pattern all my life. I have had a true relapse with my Ex for the past 5-6 years. I have worked with Couselors. Now here I am watching your video. Perhaps learning more abut Neuro pathways and reprogramming. I believe that I have so much to offer someone but this draw to a man who keeps rejecting time and time again has folks who care about me worried.
Ashley Ford you are so beautiful and your smile send like you are a strong person
Ashley Ford you have thé power in you, to bring only positive and match to your aura around you.
Integrity and faith are beautiful, I'm with you
I've never seen such a powerful video. I was raised by parents that are cold fish.
Has definitely affected my relationships. Attracted to people that treat me like crap
Very helpful.. thank you.
"the people around you are a reflection of what you need". Wow those are some words to ponder upon
My parents were wonderful very loving . My childhood was wonderful . This man has love bombed me twice . But he is a master manipulator and has ripped my heart to shreds . Never ever experience this with anyone else
I prefer to be rich, single and kick it with friends who are rich and single too.
That was the most honest advice I've heard in a long time, im going threw it with a women who doesn't believe in labels or any rules or such things as a truth. I had to be honest with my value system and realize that it wouldn't work and what my worth is thank you
I really think you’re ability to deliver such a invaluable lesson in such a relatable, positive and non judgmental way is amazing. You’re spot on and this has really positioned me in the right direction moving forward.
Yayee! Join me for coaching. selfloveu.net/
it hurts :( its really hard to be alive
How are you feeling now?
@@jamesfitzgerald3145 still in pain
@@ArciLamor going thru the same thing, one day at a time I guess..
Jean Scarlette How are you now? Plse tell me it gets better... Xxx
It’s gut wrenching... please be easy on yourself and take time to make progress on healing.
You just made me realize so much about it being my parents, I look back at my exes and realized I attracted my parents relationship and embodied that , omg you are a God send you just woke me up , I instantly realized I was reliving my parents horrible marriage and chasing toxic childhood bullcrap , she was and is a straight narcissist I knew I was sick . It's a horrible pain I'm gonna be transforming, thank you so much for this video.
I swear this video saved my life. I have known for quite some time that i need to cope and deal with so much trauma in my past in order to let go of these men that have done nothing but destroy me. I had no idea how to until i saw this. My mother commit suicide when i was only 6 years old. My dad tried his hardest to be the best he could be but he let me down a lot as a little girl. There were so many times where i was begging him to choose me over alcohol, or choose me over someone in his life that was hurting me and i never felt like i was enough. I never felt like i was enough for my mom to choose me over her suicide. My whole life i have always felt like people choose everything and everyone over me. I met a guy that i fell for hard. We dated for 2 years and he was extremely abusive. The abuse was destroying me to the point that i tried to take my own life and ended up on life support and was in a coma. I was not supposed to live but somehow i did. He broke up with me a month later when i was recovering and not working. My whole life was shattered. I lost my mind. The pain i felt was indescribable. I remember him dropping me off at my dads house and i collapsed just screaming and panicking and literally feeling like i was dying. My dad thought someone must have died. I lost my mind. I called him thousands of times to the point he changed my name to 'psycho'. He blocked me and i showed up to his house crying and begging him to quit doing this to me. I looked fricking nuts but the pain i was feeling to this day makes me cry. I sat on his porch just screaming and crying and literally felt like my world was over. It was seriously something i would never wish on my worst enemy and the fact i didnt try to end my life in that moment still amazes me. He literally gripped me up by my hair and threw me in my friends car and told me i was worthless and garbage. All of the heartache i felt through that break up that night will alwaysssss haunt me. I guarantee you that my brain was processing the rejection of my mother in that moment and thats why it was so traumatic. A year later and i met someone else and the pattern was the same. We dated for only a month but he seemed amazing. He dumped me out of the blue and i remember just crying on my bedroom floor for hours and i never understood why i was so attached so fast to him. I found out 2 weeks later i was pregnant. I also found out he had been cheating on me and was dating a new girl 2 days later. She ended up finding out she was pregnant the same day as me and is due the same day as me but shes pregnant by another man. My ex and this new girl are staying together though. It has been my own torture. So he has been supporting her throughout her whole pregnancy even though its not his kid and ive been all alone. The rejection is all too similar to what i went through with the first guy. Him and his gf talk about getting married and raising our kids together and having more babies. The rejection of watching this man have a 'happy' family with a child thats not his and my child and a women hes only known for 5 months is too much to handle. In the back of my mind i know he does not deserve even a second of my thoughts and i dont need him at all. But the other part of me is still hung up on the "what if" factor. I searched for this video because i know i am going to have a little girl in 3 months that will be watching my every move. I have been so desperate to deal with this all and get over the codependency before she is here so i can be so strong and healthily coparent with him one day and raise her to be a healthy and happy women without the hurt i feel in my heart. Your video definitely set me straight and put so many thoughts in motion.Thank you so much!!!
You are amazing. My mom died when I was 6 and my dad killed himself when I was 19. I was beaten and tortured by my stepmom for 10 years before I ran away from home. I just wanted someone to love me and I had many women who abused that and abandoned me.
You are stronger then they are.