1 Year of Marriage Q&A - overcoming a hard year!
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- Опубликовано: 22 июл 2024
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Introduction: 0:00-0:45
Hardest and Easiest Adjustment to Marriage: 0:45-4:11
What would you tell your single self now that you are married?: 4:11- 8:11
Favorite at Home Date Night Ideas: 8:11-10:53
Do you ever think back to your single years?: 10:53-12:53
How did Johnny handle your mental health challenges?: 12:53-16:44
Best books to prepare for marriage? 16:44-18:59
How did you know he was the one???: 18:59-21:56
Can a wife say no to something sexually if she feels uncomfortable?: 21:56-23:54
Hardest thing about Marriage in the past year?: 23:54-24:21
Is Marriage what you expected it to be like?:24:21-26:21
Submission and chores: 26:21-30:49
Babies soon???: 30:49-31:52
#qanda #marriedlife #marriageadvice #marriage
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What a healthy take on submission. There’s been a lot of scary trends in the Christian influencer world and I’ve seen really unhealthy takes on submission. There’s a big tradwife/redpill theology that too many people are falling into. Thanks for being so grounded in Gods word guys ❤
Thank you friend!
I would say I’ve fallen into the category of a wife submitting to the husband and being a homemaker. Not necessarily trad/wife, or anything that social media is mostly portraying. Tbh I don’t really know what social media is portraying at the moment.
I got married in the beginning of this year and before meeting my husband I had a job. However, as soon as I started dating my husband, the Lord started to speak to me about the fact that the Bible says that wives should be workers at the home. It’s not that I was asking Him about how marriage should look like, I didn’t even know what Christians say about being a wife, but I just felt God’s presence and peace and I started to almost get this vision about the future - me being a housewife and taking care of my husband. (I didn’t even know that these tradwives etc exist). That didn’t make me feel angry, or belittled - it had God’s peace in it and I was excited. I had a job at that moment and I was asking God ‘How would it turn out practically, if that’s what you really want for me?’ But I just had peace. I completely surrendered all those practical things to God and I said let your will be done.
On my wedding day I received an email from my job that my job contract has not been extended (this was the day when all workers received letters about their contracts being extended, or not being extended). I wasn’t upset at all, as this was a temporary warehouse job that I got while being a student. The fact that I didn’t have a job anymore was a confirmation to me personally.
My husband was telling me that I don’t have to look for a job if I don’t want to at the moment, because we’ll be fine financially, if that is worrying me.
I was like: “right, so if the Bible mentions wives being workers at home, this clearly has some kind of significance?” So I started to think about how it actually looks like practically. What does it mean to work at the home? Of course, it doesn’t say to not have a job. But it does say to work at the home, which is: cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, etc. it doesn’t say that husbands should be workers at the home 🤔 So I was like: “if I want to be an actually good worker at the home, I kind of cannot have a full time career (unless I can manage all those things together - then I can have a career, but which woman can actually balance it out well? it’s a lot of work, and in that case, the woman will be doing more than the man, which isn’t right). Biblically speaking, the home should be my priority. So it’s okay to have a job, as long as it doesn’t come at the expense of my home. Whenever I read the Bible I kind of get this idea that the wife is a helper to the husband and I feel lead by the Lord to be that wife for my husband. Preparing his lunch for work, doing his laundry, making dinner, so that when he comes back from work he finds nice food and clean home. Isn’t this glorifying to God, if we serve our family in that way? Especially when children come - (I’m from generations of unbelievers and atheists) I got born-again and I have an opportunity to raise godly children. How will I do that if I take them to kindergarten and hire a nanny to take them to/from kindergarten? They’ll grow up in secular environments and that’s what they’ll become - secular (while I’m working, so that I could buy nicer things, which is vanity). And I will not be having energy for my home/children and it’s all for extra cash, when I could be pouring all that godly knowledge into them instead. I don’t know if God is pleased when we’re fishing for extra cash instead of caring about things that actually matter. Me staying at home actually matters - even thinking about next generations. Nobody can raise my children to be godly, if I will not do it myself. No kindergarten will do it. Of course, I’m not talking about families that can’t afford it - you do what you gotta do, people need to pay bills and eat food. I’m talking more about when women do have the opportunity to stay at home. It has more value and impact in the eyes of the Lord, than us building a career that is actually just dust that runs through the fingers of God (again, not talking about single mothers, or families who struggle financially).
I also don’t believe in the husband being a tyrant, but the Bible does say to submit, and Genesis 3:16 says that the husband will rule over you🤔 So no matter how we want to make it look like the wife has the final say as much as the husband, we can see that the Bible says otherwise.
Of course, I’m newly married, so still trying to figure things out and I’ll see how the Lord will lead me
@@Kammiilla God is telling me these things also, still praying to get married, but your thoughts sound so similar to mine about biblical womanhood.
@@KammiillaI think its really easy to read into verses and make it mean things it may not necessarily mean at all. In this culture where were the women? They were mostly at home. So it may just be communicating that we should be hard workers and not lazy (where they were- at home). Not necessarily that we need to be at home. Also the Bible never teaches one way submission. You will find in a lot of bibles Ephesians 5:21 is often separated from Ephesians 5:22 with a new section heading, attempting to separate the ideas of submitting to one another, and wives submitting to husbands. This is deceptive because Eph 5:21-22 is ONE SENTENCE in the original Greek, and is a connected idea. The idea is that we should submit to one another, as wives do to husbands. Paul is telling us to submit to eachother and then instructs wives and then husbands how to do so. Just because Paul doesnt use the word submit when speaking to the husbands doesnt mean he stopped talking about submission. Paul instructs the husband to love, and be like Christ who layed down his life. Here Paul is describing an act of submission, laying down ones life for his wife in love. Paul is not teaching one way submission, he is leveling the playing field in relationships and showing how we both are to mutually submit to eachother in love. There is no hierarchy here. People largely misunderstand what submission is, its not obedience, its yielding to another in love. Submitting is a form of love. You yield because you love. One way submission is servitude and toxic, two way submission is a healthy partnership. Context of a passage is always the key, not necessarily how we feel or think it might mean. Ill be posting a video on my channel on this topic in the near future.
Thank you for sharing this Video!!! I have loved your channel and always love videos with you both! I am still in my singleness and have asked for prayers before. I am so happy for you two! ❤ happy 1 year!!! 🎉
To the long wait some of us still have to grow through 🥂
What a beautiful explanation of submission... We will be married 31 years and have not always been an easy ride.. But with Christ as the center it has been amazing ups downs it all... In terms of submission Respect your husband and build him up, and your husband will love you as Christ Loves the Church.... We split the chores as I work as well.. I love cooking and hate dishes my husband does dishes, and does the laundry.. We have a join household he cooks sometimes too.. But it is what works for both of you in your marriage.
Thank you SO much for your vulnerability! I’m tired of Christian couples acting like they have a “perfect marriage”, That does not exist! I’ve been facing a lot through my first year of marriage- This video helped me so much. Thank you for this video. God bless you and your marriage ❤
May God be with your home. May your selfless love for each other grow day by day, through God’s strength.
May your marriage mirror God’s designed will for it. ❤️
Thank you for that prayer!
Hello Ashley & Johnny! In marriage your spouse becomes your mirror, your struggle within yourself will be reflected back to you through your spouse! Just always make sure you reveal each other’s imperfections with LOVE & GRACE. ❤️ I can see how much you both have grown this year. Your love should grow stronger and it will grow and mature as you get older.
SHABBAT SHALOM! I do Sabbath from Friday to Saturday also.
Amazing!! Thank you! ❤️❤️😊😊😊
This is very insightful. Happy anniversary btw! ❤ God bless you.
It never ceases to amaze me the amount of Christ filled love you guys exude for each other and to your viewers. So much wonderful insight. The topic of “the one” and submission both were so powerful for me to hear and someone new to dating as a Christian. Thank you always for the joy of Christ you express to the world. Love you guys!!💛
Yay! Thank you so much for this encouragement ❤️😊🥰
I love your name!!
Happy Anniversary ! May God continue blessing your marriage and home. !! Sending my love and prayers to you. Hi From Puerto Rico 🇵🇷. I admire you guys so much. I hace been following you guys all these years. You guys are amazing. Also sending my love to Taylor and Mentor Mama.
Thank you so much friend! I would love to go to Puerto Rico some day!
Great video, Johnny is being so authentic its awesome to see a man truly speaking from the heart xx
Thank you for sharing. It is so helpful to listen and apply for my first year marriage too :) God bless you !!
That was a great video and will help many engaged and married couples. You both had wise advice. Thank you for being so honest and transparent in order to help and serve others. Happy 1st Anniversary! ❤️🇨🇦🙏
Honestly, some of us do have an easy marriage. It's not always hard. Don't get discouraged or put off. I'm glad you are both working on it together and never give up.
Such a good Godly perspective on marriage. Love this!!!
The thing that i love from you guys is that you both really-really humble to each other, very healthy relationship. Thank you for always inspiring me even though I am a single mother, feeling super lonely and the hardest part is when no one will be there in times of need, but I thank God that I still can enjoy the season. Love from Indonesia 🇮🇩
Love you guys! It’s amazing to see how far you’ve both come ❤
amen! By God's grace!
Thank you, such an impeccable Q & A. Watched it with pleasure. Have a nice day!
:) Thanks friend!
I just published my book, and after two years, I've gone back to work full time.
What's been helping us with chores is to write down everything we think needs to be done and initialing so we can see progress in real time.
I hope this helps someone. There are apps that do the same thing, but I'm old school and like paper!! 😂😂😂
God shows us so much through marriage! Thank you guys for your willingness to share your own experience. Happy anniversary!!
So true ❤️💕
Y'all are so awesome! Thank y'all for showing young couples that it is everything to serve and worship God together! God bless y'all marriage always and may God use y'all in every area of your lives!
Thank you friend :)
This video was it!! I’m single but really appreciated this so much! Will come back to it from time to time.
Ashley and Johnny, Thank you
❤️❤️❤️💕💕💕
Congratulation on your first year together....the hardest! I love you guys and I'm sending my prayers and love to you today!🙏😍
Love you Kathleen ❤️❤️❤️
i enjoyed seeing johnnys more serious side in this to get to know him a bit better love you guys!!
:)
the way you guys talk about each other 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💓💓💓🫶🏼🫶🏼
We have the same anniversary (Oct 8, 2022) and it's so cool and refreshing seeing where you guys are at and seeing that we are not alone in the struggles of navigating marriage! For me and my husband, he was laid off less than a month after our wedding, so financial stress was an immediate daily conversation in our marriage. God taught us, above all the many things He taught us, to rely fully on Him and that He WILL provide. May the many more years of your marriage be blessed!
So beautiful!!! Amen! Wow! Incredible:) may God bless your marriage abundantly as well 💕❤️❤️❤️💕
Hi Johnny and Ashley, may the Lord bless you both from Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic! I really love this video!
Love you!
❤Love This ! Wise words from jhonny & ash ,God bless your marriage
i love your honesty and heart for the Lord, thank you for your mental health answer… it brings me such hope that you found a man that reflects God’s love to you 💓 love you Ashley!!!!!
Even at the beginning few minutes of this video I saw so much improvement in you two, he’s more humble and she’s more submissive both more wise and it’s beautiful! Thank you both for your vulnerability! Dlb!
I'm getting married in a month and found these answers really encouraging! Thanks for sharing! :)
You two are incredible for your heart for God and vulnerably sharing your journey with the world. The world needs more honest conversations grounded in love 🙏
God bless you guys!!! 💓💓💓🥳
Hahaha. Saving money by NOT going out is nice. 😂
Omg! Guys!! The dish space heater (infrared) feels very similar to a fireplace. Our in-laws/parents just gifted us one. They have them at Costco!! Please get one 🥰
Love you guys!!
Going to get married in 2 and 1/2 months. Thanks for the input. Keep us in prayers.
Happy anniversary and no things are not perfect but you have faith and that is the best ingredient, love, hope and faith and one thing I have told my sons and daughters-in-law never go to bed mad talk it out am not saying is easy but you have a marriage made in faith. 🙏🙏🙏
Amen! Thank you! ❤️
Hi Ashley, Please could you put the link for the pre marital assessment test? Thank you♥️
Amazing video
Hugs from Brazil
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Plus us Ladies of Proverbs 31 is also a must as well.
I saw my husband at the food court when I first met him and my first thought was "oh great, watch, I'm going to marry this guy." (I didnt want to get married for a long time). I'm so thankful we are married. Haha. We were 19 at the time. 😂 After a month, I started bugging him to marry me...
♡♡♡♡ thank you.
Oh wow I did'nt realize untill now that you keep Friday to Saturday Shabbat like I do with my family.
It can be quite hard as Christians some time, as a lot of Christian youth groups meet then and my teenage children can't really take part. I have recently let them go, as it is the only time they have with fellow teenage believers.
May God continue to bless your marriage✝️ ❤️🕎
greetings from Austria, Europe🇦🇹
Thank you 😊 greetings from America ❤️💕
Hug & love from South Africa 😍🫂
I love you
3:46 you two are so beautiful together
This doesn’t look like a couple only married for one year. 🙁 God bless you both.. I wish you the best 😊
Any books you recommend for the singles?
It's not specifically for singles, but The Screw Tape Letters by C.S. Lewis was influential in helping me understand my own thought process.
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Y’all make some good points about submission. As you said, the bible says submit to one another. The Bible never teaches one way submission. You will find in a lot of bibles Ephesians 5:21 is often separated from Ephesians 5:22 with a new section heading, attempting to separate the ideas of submitting to one another, and wives submitting to husbands. This is deceptive because Eph 5:21-22 is ONE SENTENCE in the original Greek, and is a connected idea. The idea is that we should submit to one another, as wives do to husbands. Paul is telling us to submit to eachother and then instructs wives and then husbands how to do so. Just because Paul doesnt use the word submit when speaking to the husbands doesnt mean he stopped talking about submission. Paul instructs the husband to love, and be like Christ who layed down his life. Here Paul is describing an act of submission, laying down ones life for his wife in love. Paul is not teaching one way submission, he is leveling the playing field in relationships and showing how we both are to mutually submit to eachother in love. There is no hierarchy here. People largely misunderstand what submission is, its not obedience, its yielding to another in love. Submitting is a form of love. You yield because you love. One way submission is servitude and toxic, two way submission is a healthy partnership. I think we have over complicate a super simple concept- submit to one another. Paul actually has a lot more to say to the husband in regards to this than the wife, so making this passage just about wifely submission, or arguing that somehow the wife is supposed to submit more doesnt really add up.
@@saram3156 no, the Bible never ever instructs men to lead their wives or for wives to follow their husbands. If this was a rule Paul would have taught that, but he never said as much. I think you are onto the meaning when you say that they are one body, two parts that make one whole. In our western thinking we think head means leader or the brain that rules the body, but this is not really consistent with what they thought back then. They did not see the brain as the ruling part of the body, but the heart. Head can also mean origin, the Origin of woman is man. We see this explained in other NT passages. We also see that God is the head of Jesus. Some people who have mistaken this word as a ruling leader making Jesus subordinate to God, which most now view as heretical. God is the origin of Jesus and man is the origin of woman. Also it’s possible Paul is just saying that the man and woman are one, two that make up one body with no intention of putting one in any authority over the other. It’s very presumptive to assume this means authority. We basically have one Bible verse, with one POSSIBLE interpretation which is probably not the correct one used to subjugate all women under their husbands. I don’t really see it as a solid foundation to make such a teaching law or to say that it’s Gods command or Gods design. Bible history and translation was also steeped in patriarchal culture, something that must be taken into account. Culture has always had some influence on Christianity and theology. We like to point at the cultural influence today but ignore the cultural influence throughout history on the shaping of how the Bible has been understood… or potentially misunderstood.
@@saram3156 I appreciate your open mindedness to look into it. Im skeptical about there only being one verse to support the trinity. What about Genesis where it says "Let us make man in our image". God being plural.
Why every christian complain that marriage is so hard in first year but secular people doesn't?
Trueee, it really seems like it..
Every case is different. I have actually seen a Christian couple that have had a really good first year of marriage. She did move to a new state and she was living at home before she married. You can imagine missing home. She was dealing with a lot mentally. I'd also say that secular people live with their bf/gf before marriage too. That could be it too.
What about age?
Is Jonny older than you?
I believe 2 years older
@@Authorthings okay thank you
Creo que como esposas (hoy por hoy no se enseña, pero de lo que he leído y mi experiencia), finalmente, si uno elige casarse con un hombre y él será tu cabeza, es la mujer la que se debe adaptar 100% al esposo. El cuerpo debe obedecer a la cabeza. Eso creo que es el ideal. Claramente somos pecadores imperfectos, pero estando en vías de perfección, deberíamos esforzarnos como esposas por adaptarnos nosotras 100% a nuestros esposos, porque ¿cómo la cabeza se adaptará al cuerpo? eso solo pasa cuando el cuerpo está enfermo... Entonces deberíamos aceptar que si no podemos adaptarnos nosotras 100% a ellos, es porque nosotras estamos mal, y ellos deberán hacer un esfuerzo por nuestras debilidad, no viceversa. ¿Se entiende? No es un equipo de dos iguales en que ambos deben ceder y adaptarse al otro. Esa es la visión del mundo. En el fondo, tristemente, incluso siendo cristianas no entendemos que somos feministas de manera inconscientes y creemos que tenemos mucho que aportar. Ese aporte es como cuerpo, para llevar a cabo las ideas del esposo, pero no como cabeza, tratando de imponernos. Así solo nos irá mal, seremos ambos infelices y nunca veremos la gloria de Dios como matrimonio. Sé que es duro lo que digo, pero creo que es verdad. Cualquier mujer que realmente quiere obedecer a Dios debería llegar a entender esa idea. EL ES LA CABEZA. Tú eres miembro. ¿Acaso la Iglesia le dice a Cristo como hacer las cosas? ¿O ella le manda? Al contrario, le obedece como sierva. Por eso Sara le llamaba "señor" a Abraham. Y cuando ella proponía fallaba, a menos que Dios confirmara lo que dijo. Debemos esforzarnos y no aprovecharnos de nuestros esposos y su deseo de servirnos.
Lo digo porque me ha costado mucho entender qué es ser una verdadera esposa cristiana y no seguir las opiniones del mundo. No lo digo desde un pedestal.
Weird seeing professing Christians cherry picking Bible verses about submitting to your husbands, and choosing to ignore what it says. The husband is the head of the household as Christ if the head of the church. God, man, woman, child- thats the hierarchy from the Bible. Thank you Lord for discernment. Ephesians 5:22-33 is pretty clear about submission. I don't understand how a professing Christian can reject what Scripture says. Either its true or it isn't. Either you believe the whole Bible or you don't.
You mentioned in your previous video that you were having depression or anxiety. It is a good thing that you stopped taking birth control medicines because it is the source of your depression. I mean it is so unnatural.
This is wildly overgeneralized.
It actually balances my hormones and make me lessmentallt unstable. So idk about this comment
Nowadays it's hard find godly men godly it's just nothing but debauchery I see it every day online on street this world is full of sin of debauchery I can't believe it before coming to Christ I was thinking not bad after coming to Christ it's bad gonna get bad the moral decade of our culture society
Sex is a form of worship? Ok that’s just creepy and bizarre.
I mean u know him 1 year got married takes longer than that to know him then u bring a child in this world too fast so irresponsible of u
Too young too early for a child what are u guys thinking raising then Christian in this sinful world nowadays maybe in the past now its so sinful easily to influence the child
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