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Counterargument: As someone who has spent a life in the service industry, customers standing up for us in situations where we are literally not allowed to stand up for ourselves is a beautiful thing that we deeply appreciate
Right?! I remember having my ass chewed out hard, for a car that I didn't know about. My tech broke a coolant line on a 10 Focus, while trying to eval the A/C system. The next day, the part showed up from Ford, but he didn't show for work. We had our B tech and a lube tech put the new hard line in and purge the cooling system, but this lady was livid(mind you it's Phoenix in June or July). She didn't care that we replaced that line free of charge, she just wanted to yell at us. We vaived the cost of the eval; didn't matter. She spent 45 mins yelling at us(the other Service Writer and I) and there was nothing we could do. She took her keys and left. Put bad reviews on Google, our corporate website, Yelp, and any other review places she could get her hands on. It was not a fun day.
Because if you're already stuck driving a desolate highway in the old Eastern Bloc in the middle of winter, you'll hopefully be able to at least take solace in the fact you're not stuck in Terminal F
"One thing goes wrong and your whole day is ruined." That over-reaction and lack of perspective is one classic symptom of depression. So is excessive self-criticism. So is rumination - chewing a thing over and over in your mind, unable to let it alone. The world will not change. Only your perspective and habits of mind can change.
So true. He talked about numbness as you get older, too. I went through the same thing and had to get treatment. It’s clinical depression. My favorite music, food, movies, etc. were just boring and dull. Now, I can focus and enjoy things again.
The question is how do you change your mind? It's like nothing you ever do will ever be "correct" and your life is a worthless husk. You'll never feel like a winner; you only feel like a liability.
@@PassiveDestroyer I think the first step is to recognise that you need external assistance. Feeling worthless is an extreme emotional state, and it isn't normal to have to live with any very strong feeling - joy, despair, rage - for an extended period. It is more normal to be neither particularly happy nor particularly unhappy: a state that might be described as 'content', 'neutral' or 'balanced'. Finding that you are possessed by a violent emotion that you cannot subdue is in itself a clue that you have lost perspective. Once you have recognised that you have lost perspective, and have entered a cycle of self-destructive, emotion-driven thinking, you can begin deliberately to seek to restore a better balance. Strong feelings are not always your friends: one of things they do is to cloud your judgement. Other people can be a source of help, because they are unlikely to share your damaged perspective and have no emotional investment in your unhappy self-assessment, and so may be able to offer a more objective view. These people may be parents, siblings, teachers, and friends, or formal counsellors and physicians. What matters is to begin from the perception that your own perspective is not the whole picture, particularly if it is damaged, and that you need to escape from it into a broader view. If you find that your instinct is to dispute more positive interpretations, ask yourself whether this is not additional proof that your thinking has become disordered. An alternative to speaking with people directly is to take advantage of them at one move, through books. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help an individual to form a more rational and measured view of their own worth, to avoid obsessive, repetitive negative thinking, and to locate sources of normal contentment, without making extreme claims about revolutionizing your life, or enlisting you into a cult. CBT also provides some tools for dealing with recurrences of excessively negative thinking. Most people go through their lives without feeling like 'winners' most of the time. It's important to understand that this is normal. Excessive or unrealistic expectations lead directly to loss of perspective, and a feeling of 'failure' that is actually more apparent than real.
@@innocentoctave What if I'm self-aware of that feeling or thought, and I have no outlet to resolve it? I tend to talk myself out of many things I would like to do because of budget constraints, and I'm not sure seeking help for that is going to help, because while I honestly don't mind working a job so that I can do those things, it always feels like I sabotage my chances at one because I speak honestly about my expectations, and those are essentially me saying "I don't like lying about my intentions, and I can't promise anything to [my employer], because we haven't even met yet," and that doesn't jive well with what I consider "standard practice" for employers, which is to lie, and let the machine do it's work without asking questions. I don't know if I could ever go back to the level of complacency that would facilitate what most people would be okay with saying is "normal", only because that makes it easier to ignore that inner voice screaming at you, saying that it's not okay. I don't think I can pretend anymore that what the world does on it's own is okay anymore, because humans have distorted their own natural order so badly, that I don't think we have any right to say we know better than what nature gave us in the first place. Maybe that's just me trying to rationalize my own self-worthlessness, or my rational brain trying to restrict what my instincts are trying to tell me, to kill or be killed. That part of me scares the living shit out of me. Would a pill, or some guidance, or all the money in the world, make me think less about these things? Would that be enough to ignore it, or face it and change the status-quo? I don't think I can truly live until I'm willing to die to change it.
@@Rikorage I'm not a qualified counsellor or psychiatrist, so you should take what I say with caution. However, I think you need to ask yourself if your situation is resolvable given the constraints you have placed on yourself. On the one hand, you don't want to do the things that might allow you to succeed in a conventional job. On the other, it appears that while you think you might do something else, in practice you don't act. Is this surprising when you have set such a high bar for action - "kill or be killed"? Meanwhile, ruminating about chances not taken is a recipe for frustration and anxiety about the future. It's very easy to get stuck in a loop of anger and regret that becomes a fixed habit. When that happens, you become a self-sabotaging person, guaranteeing your own failure. An example is going into an interview determined to 'tell the truth' and 'be true to yourself', knowing in advance that that will cost you the job. Did you really want the job? Or have you found a way of rationalizing inaction that allows you to keep your self-respect, at the cost of deceiving yourself about your real character and aims? As I said before, I think that the underlying problem is lack of perspective, which leads to you seeing things out of proportion. One of the worst things about loss of perspective is that you may still truly believe that you have insight into your own condition, until something you can't ignore intervenes to show you otherwise. That's why I suggest that you need to seek advice from competent people who don't share your perspective. It's tough medicine, but it sounds as though you need help to break out of a self-defeating loop. Life isn't really a matter of a stark choice between being a drone or a revolutionary, unless you choose to make it so. There is a lot of middle ground, and that's where most people live.
I disagree, clearly you made someone's day by telling that person that what they did wasn't acceptable. They came by several times and gave you drinks. Maybe the other person was embarrassed afterwords just as you were because they understood they messed up. You tried to help a fan out too and just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you screwed up really bad. You did your best and ordered the guy a new bulb socket! You did great! And now you know about BMW parts, how they work and what you can do better next time! You were so nice! Also I think your dad cataloging your every mistake may be partly why you get so hung up on your mistakes... I'll also add that I understand how you feel and that maybe not putting yourself in a position in which you feel like shit everytime may be the best for you. Lastly from what I understand, (I haven't looked at any studies confirming this) not enjoying most things anymore is a sign of depression. Maybe go to your doctor and talk to them if you want. I'm not a psychologist yet but I'd still like to try and help one of my favorite youtubers! Good luck man, you're doing great!
This. Talk with your therapist again and explain how you're feeling. You might be suffering from depression. I had a harsh parent too, and I question everything I do. I know exactly what you mean because I'm the same way. Try to relax and be more selfish with your attentions - it's obvious you're a good person intent on doing the right thing. Just try to relax and trust your instincts more. If you hadn't said anything to that jerk then you'd probably have felt bad too. And the bulb socket thing - shit I've done that to my own car a bunch of times. Don't worry about it, especially since you bought the guy a new one. It would take no more than 10 minutes work to fix it.
I feel like this is a story about how letting your negative emotions rule your life is bad, but the final moral is that you should let your negative emotions rule your life. Specifically the concern that Mr. Regular's being a burden in some way, or placing unnecessary burdens on himself by involving himself in the affairs of other people around him. Which he isn't, and I don't feel like he has done. In the story about the man at the airline Mr. Regular's got this real, literal example of a person attempting to place undue burdens on something, which I felt serves as a great backdrop for this examination of Mr. Regular's feelings. I note that he's the only person in the story to tell the man that he's out of line. The man's so used to getting to throw his tantrums, and insist on his special behaviors unobstructed that he's completely flabbergasted. Mr. Regular performed a service to both the other patrons, and also to the man himself, assuming the man has any sense of shame or inclination towards introspection. As for the bulb socket. It already wasn't working, and he replaced the missing part. The real damage done that day was to the minds of the people around him. That is the actual undue burden. If there's really anything to gain by remembering the bulb socket itself, it's that the only person concerned with the bulb socket was Mr. Regular himself. Nobody else didn't understand or feel compassion for the situation. Remember the bulb socket: and that nobody cared about the bulb socket. They cared about Mr. Regular. I'd bet strongly that in the absence of the bulb socket, they still do. You can get another bulb socket, but you can't get another day. I feel like RCR as a whole stands as a testament to the good an individual or group thereof can do for the people around them. That *this* individual or group has done. This story also stands as a pretty fine insight into the mind of an artist. Years and years of quality all get piled up somewhere in the past. Instead our attentions favor a close inspection of all the things we've done wrong, or failed to accomplish. Faces out of proportion. Awkward prose. A frame where we didn't swap out the weird test color we were using to offset something during the animation blocking phase that snuck its way into the final product.
Please read those comments. You did nothing wrong. If there's one thing to remember it's not to get so hung up on what you did (or perceive you did) wrong. The staff member in the plane? He was glad you were there! The rude guy? Either you allowed him to grow as a person or he forgot about you ten minutes later! Had you met him later he wouldn't have said anything to you, he would just have kept on walking. But what about the guy with the Mini then? I'm sure he was glad you tried to help. He didn't mind you dropping the socket either, the light wasn't working anyway! And even if it did he probably wouldn't have cared that much about it. The only thing that actually made things unpleasant was your reaction to the event, you noticed this so why would you fixate so much on not ever doing that kind of mistake? I know it's easy to say to "just have a positive outlook on things" but that's the best thing I can tell you.. Keep helping people, they're thankful for that. Accept your mistakes, you're human and will always make some. If you remember that story in the wrong way and decide to never do anything like that again you'll just let negativity dictate your actions and you'll feel terrible. I'm not good at saying those kind of things so I hope you understood what I meant but basically treat yourself with the same kindness as you would treat others
I feel it too, I don't think you should over correct. But I feel like you know that from the litany of situations you suggest you shouldn't even think about intervening into. We should all strive to be the hero of someone's day, and it is okay if we fail at that.
Guh, I feel the same way whenever I make a mistake. Calling out the airplane bully was awesome, though. Don't feel bad about that. Nobody got hurt. Maybe he won't be a douche the next time he flies, you know? You're a good guy, Mr. R. Don't change that.
Personally (and I mean personally, you don’t have to listen to a word I say), I think your takeaway is a little misguided and reactionary, based on the experiences you’ve faced this trip: There’s a big difference between “putting your nose where it doesn’t belong” and “doing something nice for someone”. There’s a major difference between the two, and it comes down to intent. When you defended that flight attendant from the scoffing man... that was not butting into someone else’s business. That was - as you said - standing up for someone being bullied and talked down to simply for doing their job. In that situation, you are not serving as a roadblock to the situation, you are serving as a bolstering force for what is right and just. No one but the attendant really knows how much shit he’s had to deal with since his last restful sleep, and no one but the scoffing man knows the shit he’s had to go through in the same time. Sure there might have been problems in the airport, sure you were eating free and not having to deal with many of the stressors of the airport experience... But that doesn’t give anyone the right to treat a fellow human as lesser. I wouldn’t be surprised if the scoffing man reacted the way he did, kept on walking instead of talking back, because you made him feel remorse. You made him regret how he handled the situation. While you regretted putting yourself in that stressful situation and were petrified of having to see him on the way to the bathroom, there’s a good chance he was terrified of having to pass you as well. In that type of situation, you are allowed to do what you did. You stood up for someone, that’s not a thing to shy away from. You never know when your standing up for someone is the one thing keeping them from total breakdown. As for the bulb socket... you can’t win every interaction. Not everything goes according to plan, and sometimes the best intentions can lead to subpar outcomes. But that doesn’t mean “mind your own god damn business”. You wanted to show your appreciation for a person that you felt needed appreciating. You wanted to take a burden off his back because he took on so much weight for you. So what if it went wrong? It’s the thought that counts. He was probably grateful that you even wanted to help him out. Even if you ended up losing the bulb socket, your intentions were true and you rectified the situation the best you could. In his eyes, you’re probably a better friend for trying to help, even if it didn’t work out. There are friends that are nice to you and friendly, and then there are friends that truly engage with you, care, and will make time to try to help you when you need it. You showed him that you care, and that’s probably why he said “don’t worry about it!” All in all, don’t take away from this that this was a negative experience. You shouldn’t “remember the bulb socket” as a means to stop you from ever helping others again. I don’t think that’s a favorable outcome for anyone. Instead, I’d use this as a teachable moment - that it’s okay to mess up sometimes. That doesn’t mean pull a 180° and never help anyone ever again, it means that, maybe, intention is sometimes more important than execution.
I agree completely, while he directly said that this isn't the Boondock Saints, well bud: remember Kitty Genovese... I feel that if everyone did what they thought was right at all times, the world would be a better place. There would still be conflicts, sure. But, I feel that the world would be better than if good people stay silent in the face of any level of 'bad' behavior.
The trick is realising that you're probably not making them feel anything at all. 99.9% of people you interact with don't even notice you and forget the entire interaction as soon as the next one starts. It's actually a very common form of narcissism to assume that out of the 1,000 people they interact with today, people will be thinking about you beyond your actual interaction. Can you even remember the gender of the last cashier you bought something from?
@@IOUaUsername Not only can I remember the gender of every cashier I interacted with in the last week, but I can tell you every word I said. Some of us are just (mis-)wired that way.
@@nate8088 That's how I function as well. I do remember the small interactions, maybe because of my (undiagnosed so it might as well not even be) social anxiety that makes vapid things so much more intense.
Sounds like you're somewhat stuck in that self-critical pattern. I think you're right about connecting it to your parents. Just to ask, would you set those same standards and expectations to children? Secondly, I think it's a good point that your assistant for the day had a different experience than you had regarding the lost bulb-socket. I suggest you it let go and trust others more when they say they are enjoying your company :)
I heard a guy going thru the EXACT THING I heard from a sales trainer (britains most hated sales trainer as he calls himself). He talked about people who CONSTANTLY LIVE in their parents "don't interrupt people don't talk to strangers and ESPECIALLY don't interrupt important people" paradigm. DRUMMED INTO THEM as a kid, they hold it ALL their life then get a job that requires them to ring company management and sell something..... and the fear gets them.... i was bullied bad as a computer nerd AND had SEVERE nagging over social things BUT got to a "fark what they think" point and just say what I think to people. I'm still an introvert but have no problems saying what needs to be said. MANY TIMES I look for a job literally going door to door in an industrial area. Job agency told me it's very rare to be able to do that. But confronting a dick at the airport.... FARK EM.
I think the word is resilience. It's what you lose when you lose track of the context of the situation. Look from another angle. Your about to be in tin can in the sky. Doing something only humans alive in the last ~80 years have had the opportunity to do. Across all of human history. Then bulb sockets and hiking bags become small. Small enough to put into the overhead bin. Small enough to forget about.
FORGET THE GOD DAMN SOCKET. You did what you could to help, and it sounds like Foster was happy that you tried to lend a hand. Don't feel bad about such a minor screw up, in the end half a tail light is better than no tail light.
Mixed feelings on this one. In some ways, yes... mind your own business. However, sometimes a situation may be begging for some outside input. Not every situation is the bulb socket.
Great story telling. Totally understand where it comes from and how you felt. I’ve experienced similar situations. It had me wondering if it’s self-serving to interject when a situation reaches you on a personal level. Are you really helping or just getting in the way and stroking your own ego?
Maybe that scoffing bully learned something from you about treating people better. Got him thinking, as it did you. Flying on those pencil jets sucks for everyone. Trying to help your fellow human being is never wrong.
This sounds like good, sound, solid introspective advice, but I don't think it's for everyone. I think the lesson, for me, would be to evaluate before you act, rather than simply acting. The hiker and the tail light are good examples; a moment of evaluation would likely have lead you to conclude that your input was not necessary, and you'd have your desired outcome. Similarly, a moment of consideration regarding BMW weirdness may have led you to a more straightforward bulb swap. The lesson in this, for me, isn't "don't help." The lesson is "make sure your help is helpful before you give it."
I can very easily agree with that. I think that we all want to help one another or stand up for others for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, when those ideals become actions, not all of us foresee the consequences. I've certainly learned my fair share of things just like this.
This video really made an impact on me. This short 20 min video taught me a very important life lesson. I’m a person who is very empathetic. I see someone suffering and my instant reaction is to get myself involved and try to help them as much as possible. While this is sometimes good, sometimes I get myself over involved and end up making it worse. From now on, there’s a tiny little RCR that says “remember the bulb socket” whenever I find myself too involved in someone else’s buisness.
Forget the bulb socket. Remember the ride. "C'mon man give they guy a break" How many times have you jumped somebody's dead battery, or just jiggled one of the leads and saved somebody's day? Forget the bulb socket "It will fit. It always fits!" "That's what she said!" Forget the bulb socket Bring that 3rd gin-n-tonic with you to the bathroom. Raise your glass and nod if you need to. Forget the bulb socket "You allright over there? I've got lube" Forget the bulb socket Enjoy the ride.
You're essentially just a really great storyteller that loves cars. You could start Real Sneaker Reviews and be just as successful....btw... NOT A CAR!!
Hey man! I appreciate how raw this is. It is super difficult to talk about personal weaknesses and things you feel like you’ve failed on. This one struck a chord with me because I feel like I do the exact same thing and can’t forget about it for years at times. I still remember regularly the blunder I did in the 8th grade and feel that depression today, 18 years later. I don’t think there is a quick fix or maybe ever a fix to get over this kind of challenge, but just wanted to say thanks for how open you were about this. It made my day.
Everyone can remember something from the past they're super embarrassed about, but can you guess what each of your friends from 8th grade consider to be that moment in their lives? Almost certainly not, and they've completely forgotten yours too (or never even noticed it).
IOUaUsername it’s so true. I bet no one even remembers my name hardly ha. I just haven’t yet figured out how to let it go and completely let it be! Thanks for the support and words of encouragement
You can get always get involved, just don't let little stuff bring you down. People are jerks, cars are complicated and crap happens. We all love you, 700k+ strong. Your videos referencing south eastern PA always makes me try to look for stuff I remember when I used to live there. Thanks for what you do.
Please, for all that is good in the world, do more of these. These sort of essay/stories are things i didnt know i needed, but they brighten up my weeks. Love what you guys do 👍
That feel when I’ve literally been hiking backpack guy... To be fair, United and Southwest have never given me crap about it. I’d never even try it on a budget airline.
I wouldn't get too down on yourself Mr.Regular. I for one know how extremely difficult it is to work on German electronics. They just have a different mindset and alot of things are just unecessarly complicated. You had initiative and that's not a bad thing because the older you get the more that goes away (initiative) and with these cars nowasays (not just German ones) they try dissuading you into not fixing it. So hindsight, you're not the one to blame but if you lose initiative then you are.
Mr R, when things go wrong because you decided to help it sucks, and i get that. but you cant let that weigh down on you man, theres times where the mere act of helping brings peoples days up. While i think its good to remember the bulb socket, think of it as something dumb but funny you did and youll get over. Beating yourself up wont get you far man, take care of yourself.
There's nothing wrong with making a mistake as long as you get better from it! We learn through mistakes and you are now better than you were at replacing tail lights. Celebrate that instead of destroying yourself in your own pity.
As an agent at a small airport, the valet issue sends me up the wall. Especially lately, where some CRJ900’s have 700 overhead bins to save space, and some 700’s have 200 bins. “Oh, it fit on the way down.” Look, what do I know, I just work here. Go ahead and try cram your 22in roller bag under the seat in front of you.
The second/third G&T and bag of cookies was reason enough. There's never an excuse not to treat well those who serve your food/drinks. Regardless of all the altruistic notions, being a genuinely decent person can get you pretty far and is recognized and appreciated by others, even if it isn't made apparent to you. Bro, cheer up.
This is some deep stuff. I’ve always had anxiety, but didn’t treat it until a few years ago. It’s hereditary. I would go off on people often. I was against antidepressants but tried a small dosage, and the anger and numbness went away.
I need all these stories released on an album. One could honestly relax and unwind with yours, and Roman's stories. I love these so much. But I've been there. I once gently shunted a car in a car park. Did like a 1mph "tap" on another person's car. I'm freaking out, the other guy comes out..yes, I waited...and I was like "man I'm so so so so sorry." He was like "for what mate?" And I told him I tapped his car. He inspected his car, have a chuckle, and said "I see nothing wrong. So we're good!" He shook my hand, said thanks for being honest, and drove off. I felt like trash for a week after.
>You can't help fix things Mr. Regular, I have not one single mechanically inclined bone in my body. that being said, between you and the roman, I love cars, and I love seeing the work you two produce. You fixed me and gave me a love for something I didn't know I had. You aren't meddling in things you have no control of, you are attempting to do better and be better. Those flight attendants have no capacity to defend themselves or talk back, and you let someone know that treating them like garbage is unacceptable, and you did your best to help someone who is a massive fan and looks up to you and your work. I know that mine telling you to not take things so hard isn't easy (because believe me, I'm there and I have the same crippling regrets when I get involved in something I probably shouldn't have) but be nice to yourself, man. 700,000 subscribers think you're awesome, you should too.
Remember the bulb socket, sure. But remember the third G&T. Remember that you made that guy's day. No one stands up for the help. Who cares if backpack guy has issues, that's no excuse, NO EXCUSE to be an asshat. Stick up for the guy who will get fired if he sticks up for himself. That's how the world gets better. Not by isolating yourself and ignoring what's fucked up around you.
Yeah I can relate,years back a friend had carb. problems on his brand new Camaro ,I repaired it and he and I went in to his kitchen and got two beers and looked out the kitchen window and saw flames coming from under the hood,we threw open the hood and doused the flames and discovered I HAD FORGOTTEN TO TIGHTEN THE FUEL LINE THOROUGHLY,I bought him a new hood,fortunately you did not have to deal with fuel because you acquire an appreciation for the cost of simple devises such as the cover for the engine compartment,I was shocked and dismayed.
I feel a lot of relatable emotions through this story. From getting bullied in school, to spontaneously inserting myself into a situation to stick up for someone. I feel like the part of you sticking up for the flight attendant is out of empathy. Even for people who aren't usually empathetic may feel random points in life to stick up for someone. It doesn't always mean that it will have a good result. And our anxiety can always be a huge burden by telling us that something didn't go well. And then self loathing comes into play. Where most people will feel like, "Meh, shit happens," you may feel a completely different emotion to the whole situation that just happened. It can always seem that way for someone who is more emotional or empathetic. For something that may be no problem or even amusing to someone, it bothers you so much that there are stages of anxiety and self loathing that come afterwards. And sometimes that scenario can repeat in your head over and over with the same stages of anxiety and self loathing getting worse and worse. I deal with this all the time even over the smallest issues.
I've only seen sockets like that on a gauge cluster. Little tiny ones that you turn about a quarter and then it pops out. I wouldn't have expected to see that on a tail light. I replaced the shift selector mechanism on my Prelude a year ago, by myself. Never done it before. I attach it with the bolts, put the electrical connector back in, put the shifter back in Park, and start the car. The gear selection is showing Neutral on the dash. I put it in Neutral, and it goes into Drive. "Fuck. FUCK. WHAT DID I DO? How? HOW?" I started sobbing almost immediately. "I screwed up my car, it's broken, I'll have to call a tow truck, I don't know what I did, help, no one can help me, I'm an idiot, I'm a fucking idiot, why did I even try" thoughts racing through my mind. I sat there crying for probably 5 minutes. Then I realized there was a little lever on the mechanism. I took it off. It was set to Neutral instead of Park. I moved it to Park, put it back on, started the car, and it was perfectly fine. I freaked out over nothing. Remember the bulb socket as a cautionary tale, but also remember that everyone makes mistakes, it's normal for people to make mistakes, and like Foster said, IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY!
"I'm not answering it, you guys are more important" I genuinely said thank you. Edit after finishing the video: Not only I disagree with you, but also I will say you're dead wrong. You tried to help, and what i see you stopped a bully and made Tyler in your favor. You messed up a mini taillight but you were trying to help. You got your lessons mixed up. When it come to technical issues look up a manual if you don't know what you doing 100%. Yes you feel bad after messing up, but have you thought how would you feel if you didn't? Here's you lesson: look up manuals to do stuff properlly and never stop helping, because one day it's someone the other it is you. And remeber this rather than the light socket: knowing half is more dangerous than being ignorant.
This sounds like the draft of some short story about the anxieties of a modern man. Legit, like something you'll find in about 20-30 years in American Literature classes in college. *Remember the Bulb Socket*
I think the main thing I’ve learned from this besides I appreciate your brutal honesty instead of the fake bullshit persona that every other RUclipsr hides behind (even the more likable ones like Hoovie with his “oh gosh I’m so dumb, I keep buying awful cars” shtick), is that we are also affected by our upbringing whether for good or bad, our parents and our childhood experiences do so much to shape who we become and we could never shake it no matter how hard we try.
Our society needs more introspection like this. The word brave gets thrown around a lot but being introspective and uploading it is very different than the narcissism that makes everyone only post their best sides. Stuff like this is actually relatable rather than the meaningless Instagram drivel that pretends to be. Thanks for posting this.
If it helps I would have spoken up as well. I think anyone who's worked retail and/or contact centre jobs in the past always wants to step in to deflect the bullies away from the people who aren't allowed to tell a customer they're being an arsehole.
For the bulb socket... i did a similar thing trying to change the bulb on my dad's car. i snapped the plastic trim for the ford escape(it slides off, it doesn't pry). I ordered him a replacement immediately, despite his protest. You made an error when you dropped the bulb socket. However, it was not a mistake as you took corrective action. you ordered the replacement part. you were trying to help, and it didn't turn out the way you wanted. Learn from it, but don't dwell on it.
I dont know why, but Mr. Regular always just seemed like a familiar friend. I believe time heals and maybe in a few months you wont have the same feeling telling this story over. You never know. It's all how you look at something. Our minds are powerful things and when we overthink something, it takes a toll on us. Also if we keep telling ourselves something over and over again, we start to believe it even if it's not true. We have to learn to let go which is of course easier said than done... but it is possible
I’ve been a subscriber for years, and I almost didn’t click this video. If I hadn’t, I would not know how much to regret by not clicking it. I deal with anxiety and depression to the degree that I have 27 stitches across my neck. Your content has always made me laugh and given my day some lighter moments like when you just want to enjoy one good drink but not get sloshed. Thank you for this story. I can’t put into words how much I appreciate it because I don’t think my words would do my level of appreciation justice. You did some good today with a 40yr old guy that just wants to enjoy life, but lately doesn’t seem too as often as he used to. Keep the content coming. I’ll stick around for it.
You and I are alike in dealing with emotional turmoil. It's hard to deal with stuff like this. You're not alone.. we are getting older and it's a struggle. Everyday I struggle with this. I have trauma from multiple times and sources of abuse and now I second guess myself and put my self in situations that I'm not needed to feel needed.
To me it does sound like it's just getting older. The world seems like a more harsh place, everything is less fun and is the same old s***.See you when you're a kid or a young adult everything is new and exciting and there's always that thought of adventure around the corner, but as you get older everything just seems to get more mundane and boring. I too came from a house where my dad critique everything, he was mentally and physically abusive to me and my mom. Anything I ever did was never good enough until this day when I'm a father of three in an adult We don't even talk because he can't leave me alone about what I do wrong and live his own life. I've been to multiple counselors and nothing seems to work. Antidepressants, anti-anxiety medication, meditation.. you name it and I've tried it. I just tried something that seemed to help a little bit and give a bit of perspective into my own mind... It was magic mushrooms. They are incredibly healing! If I were you I'd recommend trying shrooms or acid, it can get you out of that rut and give you a leg up on starting to heal. Try to take it easy on yourself, If you're like me you tend to be your own worst enemy. You seem like an awesome dude! U are special to alot of people here on RUclips. Take it easy on yourself, your only human
One time I left lugs a little loose on a Honda. My boss came in screaming because the customers wheel had come off as he was driving away. I remember telling myself that if j didn't get fired, I would quit on my own. But over time I overcame the new found anxiety tied to doing wheels. Now if anything the mistake has made me far more focused and less careless. I know it sounds cliche but I think its important not to let our good qualities (like helping someone with their bulb) get covered up by stupid mistakes we have made. Thanks a lot for the story my man
Great story. It really got me thinking about why I decide to try and help someone. I do believe it’s for selfish reasons. But also because I usually empathize with the person. I offer help because I’ve been in that situation before and I know it sucks. You did the same thing when you helped that flight attendant and believe me that flight attendant noticed.
For what it's worth: Nobody's perfect. The fact you can step back, think critically of your actions and consider what you could have done differently is the sign of a good human being. A sign of someone who has empathy-likely more then I have if I'm going to be honest. I respect that a *lot*. It's been mentioned by others: but not finding enjoyment in anything anymore is something worth talking to someone about.
I can just feel the the panic set in as the socket falls into the depths of the car body... face instantly heating up as you scramble through your options in your head.
i usually use these videos to keep my mind from racing before sleeping but that last part was like he was talking directly to me, even if i'm still a kid to him. and how my mind works (as how he decribes it to a extend my mind does too) i am right now laying in bed eyes open with my mind thinking about times i screwed up. i will remember the bulb socket. i hope it helps you and maybe it helps me.
Hey mate, I'm 21 and I have the exact same feelings all the time. I can be having a brilliant day and the tiniest, most insignificant thing can happen, and suddenly everything is wrong, I feel upset, tired and often like I'm going to cry. It's not even like it's all insignificant things either. I had my car hopelessly drowned in mud and laughed the whole time, I have stalled and spent a whole day thinking I'm the absolute worst. I also understand the excitement thing. A lot of stuff I'm not that excited for and when i do get excited its far too extreme. I saw a MK1 Golf pull up outside my work yesterday and got so excited I went outside the front just to look. You remind me a lot of myself, it's one of the many reasons I enjoy this channel, and as much as it's likely you may never see this comment, I really hope you feel better soon, and that if I had the ability, I'd happily do anything to help. Have a good day man, look after yourself.
Thank you for this piece of wisdom. I got myself into horrible situations and lost a relationship from getting into stuff that weren't my business. This is a piece of preach!!! Thank you for this gem audio!
I had no idea what I was in for when I clicked on this video. TBH, I was working on other stuff and was looking for background noise.... I do not regret listening to this whole thing... there is alot to think about. Such deep thoughts for a car review channel... Never change RCR, never change.
This is so fucking relatable. Don't shut yourself out from people. Mind your own business, yes, but don't ignore people like the guy on the plane. Just don't feel bad if you fail. It gets even worse when your older to fall because you think you should know better, you shouldn't. This comment brought to by a guy in his thirties that relates to your psychological issues of self esteem
The concept of not trying to fix someone's car without asking them is right. Not getting involved in other people's issues, I'd say it's your judgment call. The feeling that you could have made a difference, or that your sometimes minor act of unconditional goodness kept someone from completely giving up on this life - but you didn't, will gnaw on you way worse, than someone rudely declining your sincerely good intentions. Call it Karma or whatever. You can't help everyone. You wouldn't help everyone. But knowingly distancing yourself from every opportunity to do so is depressing. I'm 35 and my inner misanthrope frequently kicks in and suggests that most people don't deserve to get any help. It's "sink or swim" world, where it's up to you to stay afloat, pushing others down to keep your head above the water. No wonder so many folks are disappointed in life. But the simple truth is - your life is as good as you make it for yourself. Don't regret offering help, since you will surely regret not doing so later.
Forced disassociated behavior is worse than expressing yourself. I struggled with self destructiveness my whole life. Holding myself back is something I'm constantly trying to battle. My Dad was ex military as well, so it's the same. Also he's 85 now and he's also going through that phase of feeling sad and being like a kid again. It's so strange. He cried when I moved out of the house recently. He never cried my entire life. Well I'm 34 and I'm sure I'll find out what that's like eventually.
Listen, buddy. When I first started being a mechanic a subaru SVX came in. I talked to the owner about his car because I knew what it was and it was awesome that he had one. He wanted special lug nuts installed that he brought himself. All his old lug nuts came of a little rough and I let him know that the new lug nuts on the old stretched out studs may cause an issue but he said go ahead. So I put them all on. About an hour later he comes back and he says the stud stripped when he tried to remove the LR wheel (why he was taking the wheel off I don't know). Anywho I brought the car in, went to remove the wheel and every stud broke or stripped. I let them know that every stud needed replacement and possible every single one on the car. Dude calls his buddy up who knows all about cars. The dude starts berating me telling me I'm an idiot, that I crossthreaded every lug nut etc etc. Then he tells me to put the wheel back on and he'll rethread the studs. I told him that that isn't possible and that they need to be replaced as there's no way to get the lug nuts back on. So anyway he says okay can I replace them now (I had never replaced studs before) and I said yes. So I remove the caliper, rotor and go to hammer out the stud. Well little did I know there was a tone ring bolted to the hub. So in the process of hammer out the stud I break the tone ring. Shit. I tell my manager and she tells them they will have to leave the car until we get someone qualified to replace all the studs on the vehicle and also that it will be a week before the new tone ring comes in. Now both the men are just throwing insult after insult at me and I'm just a 19 year old kid at the time who only knows how to do tires and oil changes. I'm borderline in tears as I want to do right by the customer but I was also really sensitive and I was getting angry at their insults. Eventually they leave and I go home. I even called out of work the next day because I was so embarrased. I come in the day after and the master tech at the place I was working gave me a really hard time about it and called me stupid. Eventually when the tone ring came in about a week later the master tech showed me how to remove the rear hub with a slide hammer to replace the studs and the tone ring. All I can say is, that was a hard learning experience. And I still feel remorse for it having ever happened. But I did grow from that experience. Best of luck moving forward, Bryan. - Corey
I feel the same way you do and thats because this world is full of injustices: tiny little things like bulb sockets or guitar picks never land where you can access them.... Small things are bound to be unnecessary... And everytime it happens, everytime one small thing isn't in the place you want, everytime one small thing isn't working as it should for absolutely no valid reason, everytime the world is unnecessarily unjust with you, rest assured that's only the beginning... The fucking tip of the iceberg... That's why I always feel the worst pain everytime one small thing goes wrong... Because I know, oh so well, it's the tip of the iceberg... And that taught me a lesson. Small things don't matter. They're things... You have no power on them... They're bound to make you frustrated, to make you suffer, to fuck with you. Just accept that. Small things don't matter. People matter... See in yourself that in sharing this story with us, listeners, you taught us greatness. We matter to you, and you matter to us. So feel bad when you know you hurt someone, not when this world is hard with you. Cheers man
Mr. Regular, it is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is life. You tired to help other people and that is not a bad thing.
Mr. Regular, don't let a sample size of two negative experiences be enough to mangle your good intentions into passivness. You're a good man, and I know that maybe means nothing coming from someone else. But you DO have a large and positive effect on the world. My opinions on cars are now so aligned with yours, because you so eloquently and perfectly explain what you do and dont like about certain cars. It had an effect on me. I find myself geeking at D21 hardbodies when I used to be all WINGADINGADINGA and Tokyo Drifturu. It all ended up shifting my view on cars. And I know it's done the same thing for others. And you had no business injecting your opinions on cars to the world. Nobody asked for that! But look at the community it created. How large of a positive effect it had. Surely, a much bigger effect than losing a plastic piece of a car worth pocket change. Cheers Mr. Regular.
Dear Mr. Regular, I know this may sound weird but I can relate to you so much it’s scary, that feeling of screwing up something minor and your brain thinking it’s the end of the world. I feel like a younger version of you and getting involved in other people’s business because of past experiences that made you snap, absolute same here. You have appealed and connected in a way to me that I felt like I was the only person like this and everyone else’s life was all fine and dandy.... but no, no they aren’t. It gets complicated so I’m just gonna end it here as quick as I can, Mr. Regular, you aren’t alone and there are people out there who feel the same way as you but it isn’t a horrible thing. You make me feel like I’m not alone in a world so massive... so thank you Mr. Regular. Thank you for being honest and making your feelings be heard.
Beautiful bit here, but I disagree with the sentiment you shouldn't try to help. It's easier to remember the bulb socket, but it's better in the long term to drop it at least once and get a better grip on it the next time.
When I was a security guard I had to learn when to give space and when to get involved. Sometimes it's hard to tell. Normally, by the time a situation resolves itself, yeah you leave them be. If the argument is holding other people up or looking to spiral out of control, then you can try to calm things down. My uncle is such a good mechanic, that he has been in magazines rebuilding hot rods. He was driving my grandma's Explorer back in the 90's on a trip to somewhere. I was in the truck in the back, kind snoozing on the door frame. He fell asleep and smacked the guardrail, causing the front right tire to explode. So, exhausted and agitated from crashing his mom's truck, he hopped out and tried to replace the tire quickly. He put the jack in a bad spot in his haste and damaged the truck further. Stuff happens. But yeah, don't fool with Euro cars without looking it up lol.
Related to a lot of stuff in this video. Also reminded me of a recent debacle I had trying to get a JDM spec bulb socket from the US for my UK spec Nissan... That was fun.
The bulb socket is seperate to standing up for things. The bulb socket may be a blinded arrogance in the light of a high from standing up to plane bully but these are important mistakes. The bulb socket is a point for introspection about knowledge limits not self worth. Its a point to reflect on what you know, what you need to learn and what questions you need to ask. Self improvement is an important part of the human experience
I once talked down a large, scary PTSD-afflicted Iraq war vet in a convenience store. Got him to talk, chilled the staff and patrons, gave him a ride. No violence, no police. All ended well. I'm glad my patter worked for all involved.
The good guys shouldn't stay quiet. This hit close to home for me and I always feel that in situations like these you have to stand up for what you think is right, even if it makes you uncomfortable, because otherwise, even more people will possibly get their days ruined by these negative narcissistic people.
Hey, he will now know that the socket is easily lost when he inevitably has to change another one. I'm always dropping bolts and there's a few which (through experience) I treat with extra caution. I know that the point of this wasn't the socket but I'd just say trust your innate sense of right and wrong. No one can make all the right decisions and this is one more experience for your personal database of what to do in a situation. I remember this time I was out for a walk in a quiet suburban area. I saw a dog looking like dogs do when they're doing something they shouldn't. I watched it come closer and then saw some people coming down the street, clearly for this dog. It was skulking and trying to not get caught and at one point it was in a driveway about 5 paces from me. It was the closest anyone was going to get to it and despite calling it, it ran away. Now I have a soft spot for dogs and like to think I know how to make a dog curious, so I'm sure there was more I could have done to get it to come closer. Pretending to hide something, lying down, looking generally silly and down to play doggy style, something. Anyways I didn't, the dog ran off and I then spent the rest of the evening with the owners trying to find it, which we didn't. I still don't know if they ever did find it and that is a time I will always wish I'd done more. Maybe it wouldn't have helped; I could have got bitten, the owner could have been abusive, it might have run straight home, but all i'll ever know for sure is I didn't catch it and maybe I could have. We can't fix problems, but we can help, and maybe fail.
1st episode backpacker looses it, 2nd episode you loose it, sometimes maybe just let others and self let off a little steem, the stress level may be lowered a bit and life can go on, like when working on your car and things don't go well, toss a wrench or a few choice words always helps for me, reset and continue on, life is short and as we age its alot shorter
that is the name of the Regular Car Reviews Studio.......TERMINAL F..... AND YOUR RIGHT......SOMEONE NEEDS TO ADMINISTER SOME SMALL JUSTICE TREAT THE GARBAGE MAN....LIKE YOU TREAT THE BOSS! WELL DONE BROWN AVENGER!
Counterargument: As someone who has spent a life in the service industry, customers standing up for us in situations where we are literally not allowed to stand up for ourselves is a beautiful thing that we deeply appreciate
Right?! I remember having my ass chewed out hard, for a car that I didn't know about. My tech broke a coolant line on a 10 Focus, while trying to eval the A/C system. The next day, the part showed up from Ford, but he didn't show for work. We had our B tech and a lube tech put the new hard line in and purge the cooling system, but this lady was livid(mind you it's Phoenix in June or July). She didn't care that we replaced that line free of charge, she just wanted to yell at us. We vaived the cost of the eval; didn't matter. She spent 45 mins yelling at us(the other Service Writer and I) and there was nothing we could do. She took her keys and left. Put bad reviews on Google, our corporate website, Yelp, and any other review places she could get her hands on. It was not a fun day.
Do an audiobook, man. I would listen to that shit driving around Eastern Europe on a bleak winter day
Yes pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease
he could record it on the toilet
Because if you're already stuck driving a desolate highway in the old Eastern Bloc in the middle of winter, you'll hopefully be able to at least take solace in the fact you're not stuck in Terminal F
50 shades of gray primer, yes please!
@@cooperhomann783 recording while dishing out some BROWNNMNN
"One thing goes wrong and your whole day is ruined." That over-reaction and lack of perspective is one classic symptom of depression. So is excessive self-criticism. So is rumination - chewing a thing over and over in your mind, unable to let it alone.
The world will not change. Only your perspective and habits of mind can change.
So true. He talked about numbness as you get older, too. I went through the same thing and had to get treatment. It’s clinical depression. My favorite music, food, movies, etc. were just boring and dull. Now, I can focus and enjoy things again.
The question is how do you change your mind? It's like nothing you ever do will ever be "correct" and your life is a worthless husk. You'll never feel like a winner; you only feel like a liability.
@@PassiveDestroyer I think the first step is to recognise that you need external assistance. Feeling worthless is an extreme emotional state, and it isn't normal to have to live with any very strong feeling - joy, despair, rage - for an extended period. It is more normal to be neither particularly happy nor particularly unhappy: a state that might be described as 'content', 'neutral' or 'balanced'. Finding that you are possessed by a violent emotion that you cannot subdue is in itself a clue that you have lost perspective. Once you have recognised that you have lost perspective, and have entered a cycle of self-destructive, emotion-driven thinking, you can begin deliberately to seek to restore a better balance. Strong feelings are not always your friends: one of things they do is to cloud your judgement.
Other people can be a source of help, because they are unlikely to share your damaged perspective and have no emotional investment in your unhappy self-assessment, and so may be able to offer a more objective view. These people may be parents, siblings, teachers, and friends, or formal counsellors and physicians. What matters is to begin from the perception that your own perspective is not the whole picture, particularly if it is damaged, and that you need to escape from it into a broader view. If you find that your instinct is to dispute more positive interpretations, ask yourself whether this is not additional proof that your thinking has become disordered.
An alternative to speaking with people directly is to take advantage of them at one move, through books. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help an individual to form a more rational and measured view of their own worth, to avoid obsessive, repetitive negative thinking, and to locate sources of normal contentment, without making extreme claims about revolutionizing your life, or enlisting you into a cult. CBT also provides some tools for dealing with recurrences of excessively negative thinking.
Most people go through their lives without feeling like 'winners' most of the time. It's important to understand that this is normal. Excessive or unrealistic expectations lead directly to loss of perspective, and a feeling of 'failure' that is actually more apparent than real.
@@innocentoctave What if I'm self-aware of that feeling or thought, and I have no outlet to resolve it? I tend to talk myself out of many things I would like to do because of budget constraints, and I'm not sure seeking help for that is going to help, because while I honestly don't mind working a job so that I can do those things, it always feels like I sabotage my chances at one because I speak honestly about my expectations, and those are essentially me saying "I don't like lying about my intentions, and I can't promise anything to [my employer], because we haven't even met yet," and that doesn't jive well with what I consider "standard practice" for employers, which is to lie, and let the machine do it's work without asking questions.
I don't know if I could ever go back to the level of complacency that would facilitate what most people would be okay with saying is "normal", only because that makes it easier to ignore that inner voice screaming at you, saying that it's not okay. I don't think I can pretend anymore that what the world does on it's own is okay anymore, because humans have distorted their own natural order so badly, that I don't think we have any right to say we know better than what nature gave us in the first place. Maybe that's just me trying to rationalize my own self-worthlessness, or my rational brain trying to restrict what my instincts are trying to tell me, to kill or be killed. That part of me scares the living shit out of me.
Would a pill, or some guidance, or all the money in the world, make me think less about these things? Would that be enough to ignore it, or face it and change the status-quo? I don't think I can truly live until I'm willing to die to change it.
@@Rikorage I'm not a qualified counsellor or psychiatrist, so you should take what I say with caution. However, I think you need to ask yourself if your situation is resolvable given the constraints you have placed on yourself. On the one hand, you don't want to do the things that might allow you to succeed in a conventional job. On the other, it appears that while you think you might do something else, in practice you don't act. Is this surprising when you have set such a high bar for action - "kill or be killed"?
Meanwhile, ruminating about chances not taken is a recipe for frustration and anxiety about the future. It's very easy to get stuck in a loop of anger and regret that becomes a fixed habit. When that happens, you become a self-sabotaging person, guaranteeing your own failure. An example is going into an interview determined to 'tell the truth' and 'be true to yourself', knowing in advance that that will cost you the job. Did you really want the job? Or have you found a way of rationalizing inaction that allows you to keep your self-respect, at the cost of deceiving yourself about your real character and aims?
As I said before, I think that the underlying problem is lack of perspective, which leads to you seeing things out of proportion. One of the worst things about loss of perspective is that you may still truly believe that you have insight into your own condition, until something you can't ignore intervenes to show you otherwise. That's why I suggest that you need to seek advice from competent people who don't share your perspective. It's tough medicine, but it sounds as though you need help to break out of a self-defeating loop. Life isn't really a matter of a stark choice between being a drone or a revolutionary, unless you choose to make it so. There is a lot of middle ground, and that's where most people live.
I disagree, clearly you made someone's day by telling that person that what they did wasn't acceptable. They came by several times and gave you drinks. Maybe the other person was embarrassed afterwords just as you were because they understood they messed up. You tried to help a fan out too and just because you made a mistake doesn't mean you screwed up really bad. You did your best and ordered the guy a new bulb socket! You did great! And now you know about BMW parts, how they work and what you can do better next time! You were so nice! Also I think your dad cataloging your every mistake may be partly why you get so hung up on your mistakes... I'll also add that I understand how you feel and that maybe not putting yourself in a position in which you feel like shit everytime may be the best for you. Lastly from what I understand, (I haven't looked at any studies confirming this) not enjoying most things anymore is a sign of depression. Maybe go to your doctor and talk to them if you want. I'm not a psychologist yet but I'd still like to try and help one of my favorite youtubers! Good luck man, you're doing great!
This. Talk with your therapist again and explain how you're feeling. You might be suffering from depression.
I had a harsh parent too, and I question everything I do. I know exactly what you mean because I'm the same way. Try to relax and be more selfish with your attentions - it's obvious you're a good person intent on doing the right thing. Just try to relax and trust your instincts more.
If you hadn't said anything to that jerk then you'd probably have felt bad too. And the bulb socket thing - shit I've done that to my own car a bunch of times. Don't worry about it, especially since you bought the guy a new one. It would take no more than 10 minutes work to fix it.
I feel like this is a story about how letting your negative emotions rule your life is bad, but the final moral is that you should let your negative emotions rule your life.
Specifically the concern that Mr. Regular's being a burden in some way, or placing unnecessary burdens on himself by involving himself in the affairs of other people around him. Which he isn't, and I don't feel like he has done. In the story about the man at the airline Mr. Regular's got this real, literal example of a person attempting to place undue burdens on something, which I felt serves as a great backdrop for this examination of Mr. Regular's feelings. I note that he's the only person in the story to tell the man that he's out of line. The man's so used to getting to throw his tantrums, and insist on his special behaviors unobstructed that he's completely flabbergasted. Mr. Regular performed a service to both the other patrons, and also to the man himself, assuming the man has any sense of shame or inclination towards introspection.
As for the bulb socket. It already wasn't working, and he replaced the missing part. The real damage done that day was to the minds of the people around him. That is the actual undue burden. If there's really anything to gain by remembering the bulb socket itself, it's that the only person concerned with the bulb socket was Mr. Regular himself. Nobody else didn't understand or feel compassion for the situation. Remember the bulb socket: and that nobody cared about the bulb socket. They cared about Mr. Regular. I'd bet strongly that in the absence of the bulb socket, they still do. You can get another bulb socket, but you can't get another day.
I feel like RCR as a whole stands as a testament to the good an individual or group thereof can do for the people around them. That *this* individual or group has done. This story also stands as a pretty fine insight into the mind of an artist. Years and years of quality all get piled up somewhere in the past. Instead our attentions favor a close inspection of all the things we've done wrong, or failed to accomplish. Faces out of proportion. Awkward prose. A frame where we didn't swap out the weird test color we were using to offset something during the animation blocking phase that snuck its way into the final product.
Please read those comments. You did nothing wrong. If there's one thing to remember it's not to get so hung up on what you did (or perceive you did) wrong. The staff member in the plane? He was glad you were there! The rude guy? Either you allowed him to grow as a person or he forgot about you ten minutes later! Had you met him later he wouldn't have said anything to you, he would just have kept on walking.
But what about the guy with the Mini then? I'm sure he was glad you tried to help. He didn't mind you dropping the socket either, the light wasn't working anyway! And even if it did he probably wouldn't have cared that much about it. The only thing that actually made things unpleasant was your reaction to the event, you noticed this so why would you fixate so much on not ever doing that kind of mistake? I know it's easy to say to "just have a positive outlook on things" but that's the best thing I can tell you..
Keep helping people, they're thankful for that. Accept your mistakes, you're human and will always make some. If you remember that story in the wrong way and decide to never do anything like that again you'll just let negativity dictate your actions and you'll feel terrible.
I'm not good at saying those kind of things so I hope you understood what I meant but basically treat yourself with the same kindness as you would treat others
I feel it too, I don't think you should over correct. But I feel like you know that from the litany of situations you suggest you shouldn't even think about intervening into. We should all strive to be the hero of someone's day, and it is okay if we fail at that.
this is what I came here to comment, but you said it better than I could have
T E R M I N A L F
Aviation purgatory.
Termi - Nalf
I like terminal f at phl
ＴＥＲＭＩＮＡＬ Ｆ
@@IOUaUsername ㄒ乇尺爪丨几卂ㄥ 千
Alf, but he's dying. Terminalf.
Guh, I feel the same way whenever I make a mistake. Calling out the airplane bully was awesome, though. Don't feel bad about that. Nobody got hurt. Maybe he won't be a douche the next time he flies, you know? You're a good guy, Mr. R. Don't change that.
People 35+ are stuck in their ways. 40 year old backpack guy won't change his ways, but he WILL get worse.
Personally (and I mean personally, you don’t have to listen to a word I say), I think your takeaway is a little misguided and reactionary, based on the experiences you’ve faced this trip:
There’s a big difference between “putting your nose where it doesn’t belong” and “doing something nice for someone”. There’s a major difference between the two, and it comes down to intent.
When you defended that flight attendant from the scoffing man... that was not butting into someone else’s business. That was - as you said - standing up for someone being bullied and talked down to simply for doing their job. In that situation, you are not serving as a roadblock to the situation, you are serving as a bolstering force for what is right and just. No one but the attendant really knows how much shit he’s had to deal with since his last restful sleep, and no one but the scoffing man knows the shit he’s had to go through in the same time. Sure there might have been problems in the airport, sure you were eating free and not having to deal with many of the stressors of the airport experience... But that doesn’t give anyone the right to treat a fellow human as lesser.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the scoffing man reacted the way he did, kept on walking instead of talking back, because you made him feel remorse. You made him regret how he handled the situation. While you regretted putting yourself in that stressful situation and were petrified of having to see him on the way to the bathroom, there’s a good chance he was terrified of having to pass you as well. In that type of situation, you are allowed to do what you did. You stood up for someone, that’s not a thing to shy away from. You never know when your standing up for someone is the one thing keeping them from total breakdown.
As for the bulb socket... you can’t win every interaction. Not everything goes according to plan, and sometimes the best intentions can lead to subpar outcomes. But that doesn’t mean “mind your own god damn business”. You wanted to show your appreciation for a person that you felt needed appreciating. You wanted to take a burden off his back because he took on so much weight for you.
So what if it went wrong? It’s the thought that counts. He was probably grateful that you even wanted to help him out. Even if you ended up losing the bulb socket, your intentions were true and you rectified the situation the best you could. In his eyes, you’re probably a better friend for trying to help, even if it didn’t work out. There are friends that are nice to you and friendly, and then there are friends that truly engage with you, care, and will make time to try to help you when you need it. You showed him that you care, and that’s probably why he said “don’t worry about it!”
All in all, don’t take away from this that this was a negative experience. You shouldn’t “remember the bulb socket” as a means to stop you from ever helping others again. I don’t think that’s a favorable outcome for anyone. Instead, I’d use this as a teachable moment - that it’s okay to mess up sometimes. That doesn’t mean pull a 180° and never help anyone ever again, it means that, maybe, intention is sometimes more important than execution.
I agree completely, while he directly said that this isn't the Boondock Saints, well bud: remember Kitty Genovese...
I feel that if everyone did what they thought was right at all times, the world would be a better place. There would still be conflicts, sure. But, I feel that the world would be better than if good people stay silent in the face of any level of 'bad' behavior.
This is the dark side of empathy. Sometimes, it would just be so freeing to act and not have to worry about how you make other people feel.
The trick is realising that you're probably not making them feel anything at all. 99.9% of people you interact with don't even notice you and forget the entire interaction as soon as the next one starts. It's actually a very common form of narcissism to assume that out of the 1,000 people they interact with today, people will be thinking about you beyond your actual interaction. Can you even remember the gender of the last cashier you bought something from?
Its easy to do
@@IOUaUsername Not only can I remember the gender of every cashier I interacted with in the last week, but I can tell you every word I said. Some of us are just (mis-)wired that way.
@@nate8088 That's how I function as well. I do remember the small interactions, maybe because of my (undiagnosed so it might as well not even be) social anxiety that makes vapid things so much more intense.
@@nate8088 Same here. Partly down to my anxiety. (Diagnosed but manageable without therapy now.)
Sounds like you're somewhat stuck in that self-critical pattern. I think you're right about connecting it to your parents. Just to ask, would you set those same standards and expectations to children? Secondly, I think it's a good point that your assistant for the day had a different experience than you had regarding the lost bulb-socket. I suggest you it let go and trust others more when they say they are enjoying your company :)
i thought this video would be about bulb sockets so this comment bamboozled me.
I heard a guy going thru the EXACT THING I heard from a sales trainer (britains most hated sales trainer as he calls himself). He talked about people who CONSTANTLY LIVE in their parents "don't interrupt people don't talk to strangers and ESPECIALLY don't interrupt important people" paradigm. DRUMMED INTO THEM as a kid, they hold it ALL their life then get a job that requires them to ring company management and sell something..... and the fear gets them.... i was bullied bad as a computer nerd AND had SEVERE nagging over social things BUT got to a "fark what they think" point and just say what I think to people. I'm still an introvert but have no problems saying what needs to be said. MANY TIMES I look for a job literally going door to door in an industrial area. Job agency told me it's very rare to be able to do that. But confronting a dick at the airport.... FARK EM.
This man’s description or terminal F in PHL is extraordinarily accurate
This sounds too much like KYMS written on your hand.
I think the word is resilience. It's what you lose when you lose track of the context of the situation. Look from another angle. Your about to be in tin can in the sky. Doing something only humans alive in the last ~80 years have had the opportunity to do. Across all of human history. Then bulb sockets and hiking bags become small. Small enough to put into the overhead bin. Small enough to forget about.
FORGET THE GOD DAMN SOCKET. You did what you could to help, and it sounds like Foster was happy that you tried to lend a hand. Don't feel bad about such a minor screw up, in the end half a tail light is better than no tail light.
Mixed feelings on this one. In some ways, yes... mind your own business. However, sometimes a situation may be begging for some outside input. Not every situation is the bulb socket.
Great story telling. Totally understand where it comes from and how you felt. I’ve experienced similar situations.
It had me wondering if it’s self-serving to interject when a situation reaches you on a personal level.
Are you really helping or just getting in the way and stroking your own ego?
When you got to the part of not getting excited anymore it hit hard for me
Maybe that scoffing bully learned something from you about treating people better. Got him thinking, as it did you. Flying on those pencil jets sucks for everyone. Trying to help your fellow human being is never wrong.
This sounds like good, sound, solid introspective advice, but I don't think it's for everyone. I think the lesson, for me, would be to evaluate before you act, rather than simply acting. The hiker and the tail light are good examples; a moment of evaluation would likely have lead you to conclude that your input was not necessary, and you'd have your desired outcome. Similarly, a moment of consideration regarding BMW weirdness may have led you to a more straightforward bulb swap.
The lesson in this, for me, isn't "don't help." The lesson is "make sure your help is helpful before you give it."
I can very easily agree with that. I think that we all want to help one another or stand up for others for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, when those ideals become actions, not all of us foresee the consequences. I've certainly learned my fair share of things just like this.
Solid lesson and advice.
This video really made an impact on me. This short 20 min video taught me a very important life lesson. I’m a person who is very empathetic. I see someone suffering and my instant reaction is to get myself involved and try to help them as much as possible. While this is sometimes good, sometimes I get myself over involved and end up making it worse. From now on, there’s a tiny little RCR that says “remember the bulb socket” whenever I find myself too involved in someone else’s buisness.
Forget the bulb socket. Remember the ride.
"C'mon man give they guy a break"
How many times have you jumped somebody's dead battery, or just jiggled one of the leads and saved somebody's day?
Forget the bulb socket
"It will fit. It always fits!" "That's what she said!"
Forget the bulb socket
Bring that 3rd gin-n-tonic with you to the bathroom. Raise your glass and nod if you need to.
Forget the bulb socket
"You allright over there? I've got lube"
Forget the bulb socket
Enjoy the ride.
You're essentially just a really great storyteller that loves cars. You could start Real Sneaker Reviews and be just as successful....btw...
NOT A CAR!!
You hear that Mr regular? That MFA in creative writing was worth it!
@@pahwraith That explains a lot. Didn't do my research.
I would prefer fake sneaker reviews. Like those guys that review cheap chinese knock-off guitars.
I did a bunch of shit like that bulb thing before I learned to keep my hands of other people's cars.
There’s something about the way he uses silence in these stories. It’s amazing.
Hey man! I appreciate how raw this is. It is super difficult to talk about personal weaknesses and things you feel like you’ve failed on. This one struck a chord with me because I feel like I do the exact same thing and can’t forget about it for years at times. I still remember regularly the blunder I did in the 8th grade and feel that depression today, 18 years later. I don’t think there is a quick fix or maybe ever a fix to get over this kind of challenge, but just wanted to say thanks for how open you were about this. It made my day.
Everyone can remember something from the past they're super embarrassed about, but can you guess what each of your friends from 8th grade consider to be that moment in their lives? Almost certainly not, and they've completely forgotten yours too (or never even noticed it).
IOUaUsername it’s so true. I bet no one even remembers my name hardly ha. I just haven’t yet figured out how to let it go and completely let it be! Thanks for the support and words of encouragement
This video feels like a strange dream
You can get always get involved, just don't let little stuff bring you down. People are jerks, cars are complicated and crap happens. We all love you, 700k+ strong.
Your videos referencing south eastern PA always makes me try to look for stuff I remember when I used to live there. Thanks for what you do.
Please, for all that is good in the world, do more of these. These sort of essay/stories are things i didnt know i needed, but they brighten up my weeks. Love what you guys do 👍
"No good deed goes unpunished"
That feel when I’ve literally been hiking backpack guy...
To be fair, United and Southwest have never given me crap about it. I’d never even try it on a budget airline.
I wouldn't get too down on yourself Mr.Regular. I for one know how extremely difficult it is to work on German electronics. They just have a different mindset and alot of things are just unecessarly complicated.
You had initiative and that's not a bad thing because the older you get the more that goes away (initiative) and with these cars nowasays (not just German ones) they try dissuading you into not fixing it.
So hindsight, you're not the one to blame but if you lose initiative then you are.
Mr R, when things go wrong because you decided to help it sucks, and i get that. but you cant let that weigh down on you man, theres times where the mere act of helping brings peoples days up. While i think its good to remember the bulb socket, think of it as something dumb but funny you did and youll get over. Beating yourself up wont get you far man, take care of yourself.
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of shitty airline passengers is that good passengers do nothing." -Edmund Burke, basically.
So excited to listen to this narrative over the course of 4 or 5 poops.
In one day? We should be calling YOU Mr. Regular.
There's nothing wrong with making a mistake as long as you get better from it! We learn through mistakes and you are now better than you were at replacing tail lights. Celebrate that instead of destroying yourself in your own pity.
As an agent at a small airport, the valet issue sends me up the wall. Especially lately, where some CRJ900’s have 700 overhead bins to save space, and some 700’s have 200 bins. “Oh, it fit on the way down.” Look, what do I know, I just work here. Go ahead and try cram your 22in roller bag under the seat in front of you.
Terminal F, where "F. U." is the only thing you can think of that starts with F.
The second/third G&T and bag of cookies was reason enough. There's never an excuse not to treat well those who serve your food/drinks. Regardless of all the altruistic notions, being a genuinely decent person can get you pretty far and is recognized and appreciated by others, even if it isn't made apparent to you.
Bro, cheer up.
This is some deep stuff. I’ve always had anxiety, but didn’t treat it until a few years ago. It’s hereditary. I would go off on people often. I was against antidepressants but tried a small dosage, and the anger and numbness went away.
I need all these stories released on an album. One could honestly relax and unwind with yours, and Roman's stories. I love these so much.
But I've been there. I once gently shunted a car in a car park. Did like a 1mph "tap" on another person's car. I'm freaking out, the other guy comes out..yes, I waited...and I was like "man I'm so so so so sorry." He was like "for what mate?" And I told him I tapped his car. He inspected his car, have a chuckle, and said "I see nothing wrong. So we're good!" He shook my hand, said thanks for being honest, and drove off.
I felt like trash for a week after.
This is the happiness curve. Your general enthusiasm for life starts to decline in late twenties and bottoms out at 47.2 and then goes back up.
Girl: "What's a bulb socket?"
🍎 *_Apple_* 🍎
>You can't help fix things
Mr. Regular, I have not one single mechanically inclined bone in my body.
that being said, between you and the roman, I love cars, and I love seeing the work you two produce.
You fixed me and gave me a love for something I didn't know I had.
You aren't meddling in things you have no control of, you are attempting to do better and be better. Those flight attendants have no capacity to defend themselves or talk back, and you let someone know that treating them like garbage is unacceptable, and you did your best to help someone who is a massive fan and looks up to you and your work.
I know that mine telling you to not take things so hard isn't easy (because believe me, I'm there and I have the same crippling regrets when I get involved in something I probably shouldn't have) but be nice to yourself, man. 700,000 subscribers think you're awesome, you should too.
Remember the bulb socket, sure.
But remember the third G&T. Remember that you made that guy's day. No one stands up for the help. Who cares if backpack guy has issues, that's no excuse, NO EXCUSE to be an asshat. Stick up for the guy who will get fired if he sticks up for himself. That's how the world gets better. Not by isolating yourself and ignoring what's fucked up around you.
The moment i heard Adler the Eagle i was like ‘damn the world is small’
Panda Mcmuffin haha, that made me do a double take
terminal F
to pay respects
Yeah I can relate,years back a friend had carb. problems on his brand new Camaro ,I repaired it and he and I went in to his kitchen and got two beers and looked out the kitchen window and saw flames coming from under the hood,we threw open the hood and doused the flames and discovered I HAD FORGOTTEN TO TIGHTEN THE FUEL LINE THOROUGHLY,I bought him a new hood,fortunately you did not have to deal with fuel because you acquire an appreciation for the cost of simple devises such as the cover for the engine compartment,I was shocked and dismayed.
I feel a lot of relatable emotions through this story. From getting bullied in school, to spontaneously inserting myself into a situation to stick up for someone. I feel like the part of you sticking up for the flight attendant is out of empathy. Even for people who aren't usually empathetic may feel random points in life to stick up for someone. It doesn't always mean that it will have a good result. And our anxiety can always be a huge burden by telling us that something didn't go well. And then self loathing comes into play. Where most people will feel like, "Meh, shit happens," you may feel a completely different emotion to the whole situation that just happened. It can always seem that way for someone who is more emotional or empathetic. For something that may be no problem or even amusing to someone, it bothers you so much that there are stages of anxiety and self loathing that come afterwards. And sometimes that scenario can repeat in your head over and over with the same stages of anxiety and self loathing getting worse and worse. I deal with this all the time even over the smallest issues.
Keep on clopping mate
I've only seen sockets like that on a gauge cluster. Little tiny ones that you turn about a quarter and then it pops out. I wouldn't have expected to see that on a tail light.
I replaced the shift selector mechanism on my Prelude a year ago, by myself. Never done it before. I attach it with the bolts, put the electrical connector back in, put the shifter back in Park, and start the car. The gear selection is showing Neutral on the dash. I put it in Neutral, and it goes into Drive. "Fuck. FUCK. WHAT DID I DO? How? HOW?" I started sobbing almost immediately. "I screwed up my car, it's broken, I'll have to call a tow truck, I don't know what I did, help, no one can help me, I'm an idiot, I'm a fucking idiot, why did I even try" thoughts racing through my mind. I sat there crying for probably 5 minutes. Then I realized there was a little lever on the mechanism. I took it off. It was set to Neutral instead of Park. I moved it to Park, put it back on, started the car, and it was perfectly fine. I freaked out over nothing.
Remember the bulb socket as a cautionary tale, but also remember that everyone makes mistakes, it's normal for people to make mistakes, and like Foster said, IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY!
Damn Mr. Regular.
Right in the feels. My feels feel your feels. This was like a therapy session for me lmao
I love your writing.
I enjoy your read.
This is great.
"I'm not answering it, you guys are more important"
I genuinely said thank you.
Edit after finishing the video:
Not only I disagree with you, but also I will say you're dead wrong. You tried to help, and what i see you stopped a bully and made Tyler in your favor. You messed up a mini taillight but you were trying to help. You got your lessons mixed up. When it come to technical issues look up a manual if you don't know what you doing 100%. Yes you feel bad after messing up, but have you thought how would you feel if you didn't? Here's you lesson: look up manuals to do stuff properlly and never stop helping, because one day it's someone the other it is you. And remeber this rather than the light socket: knowing half is more dangerous than being ignorant.
This sounds like the draft of some short story about the anxieties of a modern man.
Legit, like something you'll find in about 20-30 years in American Literature classes in college.
*Remember the Bulb Socket*
Damn, hits so close. Thank you for this.
I think the main thing I’ve learned from this besides I appreciate your brutal honesty instead of the fake bullshit persona that every other RUclipsr hides behind (even the more likable ones like Hoovie with his “oh gosh I’m so dumb, I keep buying awful cars” shtick), is that we are also affected by our upbringing whether for good or bad, our parents and our childhood experiences do so much to shape who we become and we could never shake it no matter how hard we try.
Our society needs more introspection like this. The word brave gets thrown around a lot but being introspective and uploading it is very different than the narcissism that makes everyone only post their best sides. Stuff like this is actually relatable rather than the meaningless Instagram drivel that pretends to be. Thanks for posting this.
I have never seen a more relatable video. I have had countless experiences like these and I have my own “bulb sockets”. Nice vid.
If it helps I would have spoken up as well. I think anyone who's worked retail and/or contact centre jobs in the past always wants to step in to deflect the bullies away from the people who aren't allowed to tell a customer they're being an arsehole.
Maybe not the best at replacing light bulbs, but a great story teller....and a man with empathy. Thanks!
For the bulb socket... i did a similar thing trying to change the bulb on my dad's car. i snapped the plastic trim for the ford escape(it slides off, it doesn't pry). I ordered him a replacement immediately, despite his protest.
You made an error when you dropped the bulb socket. However, it was not a mistake as you took corrective action. you ordered the replacement part. you were trying to help, and it didn't turn out the way you wanted.
Learn from it, but don't dwell on it.
I dont know why, but Mr. Regular always just seemed like a familiar friend. I believe time heals and maybe in a few months you wont have the same feeling telling this story over. You never know. It's all how you look at something. Our minds are powerful things and when we overthink something, it takes a toll on us. Also if we keep telling ourselves something over and over again, we start to believe it even if it's not true. We have to learn to let go which is of course easier said than done... but it is possible
I’ve been a subscriber for years, and I almost didn’t click this video. If I hadn’t, I would not know how much to regret by not clicking it. I deal with anxiety and depression to the degree that I have 27 stitches across my neck.
Your content has always made me laugh and given my day some lighter moments like when you just want to enjoy one good drink but not get sloshed.
Thank you for this story. I can’t put into words how much I appreciate it because I don’t think my words would do my level of appreciation justice. You did some good today with a 40yr old guy that just wants to enjoy life, but lately doesn’t seem too as often as he used to. Keep the content coming. I’ll stick around for it.
You and I are alike in dealing with emotional turmoil. It's hard to deal with stuff like this. You're not alone.. we are getting older and it's a struggle. Everyday I struggle with this. I have trauma from multiple times and sources of abuse and now I second guess myself and put my self in situations that I'm not needed to feel needed.
To me it does sound like it's just getting older. The world seems like a more harsh place, everything is less fun and is the same old s***.See you when you're a kid or a young adult everything is new and exciting and there's always that thought of adventure around the corner, but as you get older everything just seems to get more mundane and boring. I too came from a house where my dad critique everything, he was mentally and physically abusive to me and my mom. Anything I ever did was never good enough until this day when I'm a father of three in an adult We don't even talk because he can't leave me alone about what I do wrong and live his own life. I've been to multiple counselors and nothing seems to work. Antidepressants, anti-anxiety medication, meditation.. you name it and I've tried it. I just tried something that seemed to help a little bit and give a bit of perspective into my own mind... It was magic mushrooms. They are incredibly healing! If I were you I'd recommend trying shrooms or acid, it can get you out of that rut and give you a leg up on starting to heal. Try to take it easy on yourself, If you're like me you tend to be your own worst enemy. You seem like an awesome dude! U are special to alot of people here on RUclips. Take it easy on yourself, your only human
One time I left lugs a little loose on a Honda. My boss came in screaming because the customers wheel had come off as he was driving away. I remember telling myself that if j didn't get fired, I would quit on my own. But over time I overcame the new found anxiety tied to doing wheels. Now if anything the mistake has made me far more focused and less careless. I know it sounds cliche but I think its important not to let our good qualities (like helping someone with their bulb) get covered up by stupid mistakes we have made. Thanks a lot for the story my man
Great story. It really got me thinking about why I decide to try and help someone. I do believe it’s for selfish reasons. But also because I usually empathize with the person. I offer help because I’ve been in that situation before and I know it sucks. You did the same thing when you helped that flight attendant and believe me that flight attendant noticed.
For what it's worth: Nobody's perfect. The fact you can step back, think critically of your actions and consider what you could have done differently is the sign of a good human being. A sign of someone who has empathy-likely more then I have if I'm going to be honest. I respect that a *lot*.
It's been mentioned by others: but not finding enjoyment in anything anymore is something worth talking to someone about.
I can just feel the the panic set in as the socket falls into the depths of the car body... face instantly heating up as you scramble through your options in your head.
i usually use these videos to keep my mind from racing before sleeping but that last part was like he was talking directly to me, even if i'm still a kid to him. and how my mind works (as how he decribes it to a extend my mind does too) i am right now laying in bed eyes open with my mind thinking about times i screwed up. i will remember the bulb socket. i hope it helps you and maybe it helps me.
Hey mate, I'm 21 and I have the exact same feelings all the time. I can be having a brilliant day and the tiniest, most insignificant thing can happen, and suddenly everything is wrong, I feel upset, tired and often like I'm going to cry. It's not even like it's all insignificant things either. I had my car hopelessly drowned in mud and laughed the whole time, I have stalled and spent a whole day thinking I'm the absolute worst. I also understand the excitement thing. A lot of stuff I'm not that excited for and when i do get excited its far too extreme. I saw a MK1 Golf pull up outside my work yesterday and got so excited I went outside the front just to look. You remind me a lot of myself, it's one of the many reasons I enjoy this channel, and as much as it's likely you may never see this comment, I really hope you feel better soon, and that if I had the ability, I'd happily do anything to help.
Have a good day man, look after yourself.
Thank you for this piece of wisdom. I got myself into horrible situations and lost a relationship from getting into stuff that weren't my business. This is a piece of preach!!!
Thank you for this gem audio!
I’ve heard relatable things but this now the most relatable thing I’ve heard, the self doubt and over critical feelings of yourself you let get to you
I had no idea what I was in for when I clicked on this video. TBH, I was working on other stuff and was looking for background noise....
I do not regret listening to this whole thing... there is alot to think about. Such deep thoughts for a car review channel... Never change RCR, never change.
These feel like the best audiobooks I've ever heard..
Well written, and I can relate. If you made more content like this I would watch every single video.
Mr. Regular. Don't EVER feel remorse for doing what is right.
Out of all of RegularCars' car reviews, they end up with a bulb socket video.
This is so fucking relatable. Don't shut yourself out from people. Mind your own business, yes, but don't ignore people like the guy on the plane. Just don't feel bad if you fail. It gets even worse when your older to fall because you think you should know better, you shouldn't. This comment brought to by a guy in his thirties that relates to your psychological issues of self esteem
The concept of not trying to fix someone's car without asking them is right. Not getting involved in other people's issues, I'd say it's your judgment call. The feeling that you could have made a difference, or that your sometimes minor act of unconditional goodness kept someone from completely giving up on this life - but you didn't, will gnaw on you way worse, than someone rudely declining your sincerely good intentions. Call it Karma or whatever. You can't help everyone. You wouldn't help everyone. But knowingly distancing yourself from every opportunity to do so is depressing. I'm 35 and my inner misanthrope frequently kicks in and suggests that most people don't deserve to get any help. It's "sink or swim" world, where it's up to you to stay afloat, pushing others down to keep your head above the water. No wonder so many folks are disappointed in life. But the simple truth is - your life is as good as you make it for yourself. Don't regret offering help, since you will surely regret not doing so later.
Forced disassociated behavior is worse than expressing yourself. I struggled with self destructiveness my whole life. Holding myself back is something I'm constantly trying to battle. My Dad was ex military as well, so it's the same. Also he's 85 now and he's also going through that phase of feeling sad and being like a kid again. It's so strange. He cried when I moved out of the house recently. He never cried my entire life. Well I'm 34 and I'm sure I'll find out what that's like eventually.
Listen, buddy. When I first started being a mechanic a subaru SVX came in. I talked to the owner about his car because I knew what it was and it was awesome that he had one. He wanted special lug nuts installed that he brought himself. All his old lug nuts came of a little rough and I let him know that the new lug nuts on the old stretched out studs may cause an issue but he said go ahead. So I put them all on. About an hour later he comes back and he says the stud stripped when he tried to remove the LR wheel (why he was taking the wheel off I don't know). Anywho I brought the car in, went to remove the wheel and every stud broke or stripped. I let them know that every stud needed replacement and possible every single one on the car. Dude calls his buddy up who knows all about cars. The dude starts berating me telling me I'm an idiot, that I crossthreaded every lug nut etc etc. Then he tells me to put the wheel back on and he'll rethread the studs. I told him that that isn't possible and that they need to be replaced as there's no way to get the lug nuts back on. So anyway he says okay can I replace them now (I had never replaced studs before) and I said yes. So I remove the caliper, rotor and go to hammer out the stud. Well little did I know there was a tone ring bolted to the hub. So in the process of hammer out the stud I break the tone ring. Shit. I tell my manager and she tells them they will have to leave the car until we get someone qualified to replace all the studs on the vehicle and also that it will be a week before the new tone ring comes in. Now both the men are just throwing insult after insult at me and I'm just a 19 year old kid at the time who only knows how to do tires and oil changes. I'm borderline in tears as I want to do right by the customer but I was also really sensitive and I was getting angry at their insults. Eventually they leave and I go home. I even called out of work the next day because I was so embarrased. I come in the day after and the master tech at the place I was working gave me a really hard time about it and called me stupid. Eventually when the tone ring came in about a week later the master tech showed me how to remove the rear hub with a slide hammer to replace the studs and the tone ring. All I can say is, that was a hard learning experience. And I still feel remorse for it having ever happened. But I did grow from that experience. Best of luck moving forward, Bryan.
- Corey
I feel the same way you do and thats because this world is full of injustices: tiny little things like bulb sockets or guitar picks never land where you can access them.... Small things are bound to be unnecessary... And everytime it happens, everytime one small thing isn't in the place you want, everytime one small thing isn't working as it should for absolutely no valid reason, everytime the world is unnecessarily unjust with you, rest assured that's only the beginning... The fucking tip of the iceberg... That's why I always feel the worst pain everytime one small thing goes wrong... Because I know, oh so well, it's the tip of the iceberg... And that taught me a lesson. Small things don't matter. They're things... You have no power on them... They're bound to make you frustrated, to make you suffer, to fuck with you. Just accept that. Small things don't matter. People matter... See in yourself that in sharing this story with us, listeners, you taught us greatness. We matter to you, and you matter to us. So feel bad when you know you hurt someone, not when this world is hard with you. Cheers man
I love how casually he gives that analogy at 12:36
Mr. Regular, it is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not a weakness, that is life. You tired to help other people and that is not a bad thing.
Well said, it's an honest relief to know that I'm not the only one. This stuck a deep chord with me.
Seriously, thank you
I'm getting some strong, Still Life With Woodpecker vibes, here.
8:25 when the third gin and tonic kicks in
Mr. Regular, don't let a sample size of two negative experiences be enough to mangle your good intentions into passivness. You're a good man, and I know that maybe means nothing coming from someone else. But you DO have a large and positive effect on the world. My opinions on cars are now so aligned with yours, because you so eloquently and perfectly explain what you do and dont like about certain cars. It had an effect on me. I find myself geeking at D21 hardbodies when I used to be all WINGADINGADINGA and Tokyo Drifturu. It all ended up shifting my view on cars. And I know it's done the same thing for others. And you had no business injecting your opinions on cars to the world. Nobody asked for that! But look at the community it created. How large of a positive effect it had. Surely, a much bigger effect than losing a plastic piece of a car worth pocket change.
Cheers Mr. Regular.
Dear Mr. Regular,
I know this may sound weird but I can relate to you so much it’s scary, that feeling of screwing up something minor and your brain thinking it’s the end of the world. I feel like a younger version of you and getting involved in other people’s business because of past experiences that made you snap, absolute same here. You have appealed and connected in a way to me that I felt like I was the only person like this and everyone else’s life was all fine and dandy.... but no, no they aren’t. It gets complicated so I’m just gonna end it here as quick as I can, Mr. Regular, you aren’t alone and there are people out there who feel the same way as you but it isn’t a horrible thing. You make me feel like I’m not alone in a world so massive... so thank you Mr. Regular. Thank you for being honest and making your feelings be heard.
Beautiful bit here, but I disagree with the sentiment you shouldn't try to help. It's easier to remember the bulb socket, but it's better in the long term to drop it at least once and get a better grip on it the next time.
When I was a security guard I had to learn when to give space and when to get involved. Sometimes it's hard to tell. Normally, by the time a situation resolves itself, yeah you leave them be. If the argument is holding other people up or looking to spiral out of control, then you can try to calm things down.
My uncle is such a good mechanic, that he has been in magazines rebuilding hot rods. He was driving my grandma's Explorer back in the 90's on a trip to somewhere. I was in the truck in the back, kind snoozing on the door frame. He fell asleep and smacked the guardrail, causing the front right tire to explode. So, exhausted and agitated from crashing his mom's truck, he hopped out and tried to replace the tire quickly. He put the jack in a bad spot in his haste and damaged the truck further. Stuff happens. But yeah, don't fool with Euro cars without looking it up lol.
Related to a lot of stuff in this video. Also reminded me of a recent debacle I had trying to get a JDM spec bulb socket from the US for my UK spec Nissan... That was fun.
The bulb socket is seperate to standing up for things. The bulb socket may be a blinded arrogance in the light of a high from standing up to plane bully but these are important mistakes. The bulb socket is a point for introspection about knowledge limits not self worth. Its a point to reflect on what you know, what you need to learn and what questions you need to ask. Self improvement is an important part of the human experience
I once talked down a large, scary PTSD-afflicted Iraq war vet in a convenience store. Got him to talk, chilled the staff and patrons, gave him a ride. No violence, no police.
All ended well. I'm glad my patter worked for all involved.
This helped, a lot. Choosing when to help someone is important. I’m trying to learn.
i feel like this stems from one of those ''i can't sleep minds all reflectin' and working on overdrive'' type of nights.
The good guys shouldn't stay quiet. This hit close to home for me and I always feel that in situations like these you have to stand up for what you think is right, even if it makes you uncomfortable, because otherwise, even more people will possibly get their days ruined by these negative narcissistic people.
Hey, he will now know that the socket is easily lost when he inevitably has to change another one. I'm always dropping bolts and there's a few which (through experience) I treat with extra caution. I know that the point of this wasn't the socket but I'd just say trust your innate sense of right and wrong. No one can make all the right decisions and this is one more experience for your personal database of what to do in a situation. I remember this time I was out for a walk in a quiet suburban area. I saw a dog looking like dogs do when they're doing something they shouldn't. I watched it come closer and then saw some people coming down the street, clearly for this dog. It was skulking and trying to not get caught and at one point it was in a driveway about 5 paces from me. It was the closest anyone was going to get to it and despite calling it, it ran away. Now I have a soft spot for dogs and like to think I know how to make a dog curious, so I'm sure there was more I could have done to get it to come closer. Pretending to hide something, lying down, looking generally silly and down to play doggy style, something. Anyways I didn't, the dog ran off and I then spent the rest of the evening with the owners trying to find it, which we didn't. I still don't know if they ever did find it and that is a time I will always wish I'd done more. Maybe it wouldn't have helped; I could have got bitten, the owner could have been abusive, it might have run straight home, but all i'll ever know for sure is I didn't catch it and maybe I could have. We can't fix problems, but we can help, and maybe fail.
1st episode backpacker looses it, 2nd episode you loose it, sometimes maybe just let others and self let off a little steem, the stress level may be lowered a bit and life can go on, like when working on your car and things don't go well, toss a wrench or a few choice words always helps for me, reset and continue on, life is short and as we age its alot shorter
that is the name of the Regular Car Reviews Studio.......TERMINAL F.....
AND YOUR RIGHT......SOMEONE NEEDS TO ADMINISTER SOME SMALL JUSTICE
TREAT THE GARBAGE MAN....LIKE YOU TREAT THE BOSS!
WELL DONE BROWN AVENGER!
Good advice. I'll have to ALWAYS remember this and make my wife watch this. She needs to remember the bulb socket.