Are Large Age Gap Relationships WRONG??! | TDK Podcast
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 24 июл 2024
- What’s the acceptable age gap in a relationship? Is dating someone younger than you considered grooming?
-
The Daily Ketchup Podcast is powered by Audio-Technica.
Get $10 off selected microphones from the AT20 series with ‘TDKAT10’ at sea.audio-technica.com
Get up to $30 off at Ergotune with promo code "22+TDK": ergotune.com/?ref=TDK
Get up to $45 off at EverDesk+ with promo code "22+TDK": everdeskplus.com/?ref=TDK
Subscribe for more content like this: bit.ly/dailyketchup
We're also on Spotify: bit.ly/dailyketchupSpot
If you have any stories to share, let us know here: forms.gle/XRRtnMG1w56M8yrFA
For business/sponsorship enquiries: singapore.sales@grvty.media
Work with us : grvty.media/careers
Be part of our projects : Stay tuned ;)
=====
Follow Us On Our Socials
• Facebook: / mosg.tv
• Instagram: / dailyketchup
• Website: mosg.tv
Cast:
• Johnathan Chua / johnathanchua
• Daniel Lim / danlim11
• Jonathan Paul / jonathanpaul.sxw
• Denise Oh / ohthedenise
Behind the Cam:
• Nashrul Merza
• Julian Chin
• Daren Khek
• Charlene Goh
• Amirul Nashtrie
Edited by:
Crelyn Chai
00:00 Intro
00:27 Oldest You Would Bang
05:19 Youngest You Would Bang 
Развлечения
![Sean Rii, Karyon, Sharzkii - Taungule [My Love] (Official Music Video)](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/eJoMuypbSzQ/mqdefault.jpg)
I was 18 when I met this man. I was in the travel industry. He was 12 years older than me. He was a gentleman & never took advantage of me. My job took me to his country often & he came to sg whenever he could. When I was 21 & our relationship was very stable, I lost him in a freak accident. To me age is not an issue. He is still on my mind after all these years. I am now in my 60s.
woahhh. from 18 to 60 in 1 paragraph.
god bless.
I feel that john should have been in this episode, seeing as how he likes playing devil's advocate I feel that he would have given very insightful and unique opinions on this polarising topic
Agree - points didn’t land in this episode
Absolute age gaps matter less as one ages. A 28 year old with an 8 year old is outright criminal. A 38 year old with an 18 year old may raise some eyebrows. An 88 year old with a 68 year old is a non-issue.
Not even the wisest can properly define love.
Good chat actually, thanks for the great topics!
LOL they setting up a dee kosh episode in a near future with this convo.
We have to be cognisant that our brain (the part for reasoning) is not even fully developed until we get to our mid-20s. It is hence egregious for an adult to even consider being romantically close to an underaged person...because the adult will be literally 'taking advantage' of the teenager/child's naivete and curiosity. There are lines that should not be crossed...if you even remotely considered it, perhaps you need therapy to get to the root of YOUR problem...The children have to be protected at all costs.
Mid 20s ? 18 and you serve the nation. 21 and you vote. I think those in 20s will disagree with you 😝
This is about age gaps. Are you saying you support those you define as "children" being sexually active with each other? When has two immature minds ever been a recipe for goodness and success? A 17 - 20 year old male is twice as likely to hit his partner as the 25 - 28 "creep" you want people to worry about.
Teenagers, no matter how stupid they are, are not tapioca brained robots. They are not impressionable. They are extremely stubborn, arrogant, and independent minded. Nobody who knows anything about teenagers is dating them to "take advantage" of them. Quite the opposite, they're a headache to deal with because their flaw is precisely the opposite. I'm much more likely to value people's opinions and defer to elders and authority figures now that I'm older than when I was in my teen years. I even spent more of my mid-teen years in online communities with mostly adults and at no point looking back do I feel they had the capacity to make me their mental thrall by virtue of being older. Quite the opposite, I made many enemies because I refuse to concede to their perspective on anything.
@@manyue2003 Not to mention Iris is the same type of person who will pound his/her fists demanding a 16 or 17 year old who commits a felony be tried as an adult.
CONGRATSS ON 200 EPS!!
Children are the most vulnerable demographic in our society- weaker in all aspects of finances, independence, cognitive and physical development, etc. A society needs to protect its children from harms. Yes, these numbers might seem arbitrary but in order for society to function we need to define an age range. Hence, the world has generally agreed that people 18 years and above are considered adults. This is already a liberal view, a more conservative cut-off would be age 25, given that cognitive brain function only fully develops then. But ok, we shall take 18 as the cut-off. And as a society of well-meaning adults, we let the children grow up in innocence and do not introduce the ugliness of adulthood to them before they’re ready. You may say that teenagers today are not innocent. I know. But that’s not the way it should be. Regardless of society’s failures, we continue to strive for the ideal.
Grooming is extra debased and horrible. It’s not because we are arbitrarily putting sex on a pedestal. Negative sexual experiences can have a huge impact on children - resulting in trauma that ruins their formative development and leaves permanent damage. It’s already bad enough for adults, even more so for young minds.
Wanted to make these 2 points after hearing this episode.
Adulthood isn't all or nothing, though. Should you not be able to stay home without a baby sitting before you turn 18? Should you not able to cross the street by yourself?
It's obvious our definition of adulthood is already unnatural. Nature wouldn't make your fertile, horny, rebellious, and embarrassed to be seen with your parents, etc if she still wanted you to be a child.
I think 16 or 17 is a reasonable age of consent. People in this demographic can drive and are frequently tried as adults.
I have missed Denise! So glad to have you back!
I was 14 when I dated this 20 years old guy. I didn’t understand why he cheated on me and left me hanging until I was 20 myself. I realised he was a pedophile. 😅
grooming is not just about age, but also about power balance as well. aka if Dan was the one who tried to chase Nat and not the other way round, it could have been seen as grooming since he might have taken advantage of his position to pressure her into dating
Grooming HEAVILY involves age because it's easier to take advantage of them. The only other way it's possible is with large age gaps.
@@lamma746 Yet somehow parents can't even control their 15 year old daughters when they're 35 years her senior. Just stop. You don't have mind control powers over someone simply by being older than them. Teenagers are stubborn, self-centered, arrogant, independent minded, quick to get aggressive, and precisely the opposite of what you'd want to date if you were looking for a meek little puppet to "take advantage of."
Age isn't an issue as long as both parties are of legal age, i.e. at least 16 years old. It does depend on LIFE STAGE as Denise said, rather than REAL AGE. I know of a couple, she was 52, he was 21, and they both found themselves drawn to each other as both were never married before, no kids, no assets, same financial situation, same stage of career (this was a 3rd new career change for the 52 year old woman), same mindset, same values etc. They were in the SAME LFE STAGE despite being 31 years apart!
What started off as a 'we will hang out and see' situation turned into a deep passionate love-lust-like situation with them. They had to keep it a secret to most people to avoid malicious and unfair gossip. Anyway, 2/3 years later, when the lady was 55, and the man was 24, they got married. They adopted a set of twin girls a couple of years later and are still married, happy, and with a full family.
So age is NOTHING. It's 100% what LIFE STAGE you are at, that matters. And what this couple told me is they NEVER treat each other as 'I'm older/younger' meaning there's no power disparity, they have always treated each other as equals and as spouses, despite the very large age gap. And another thing, the 52 year old tells me that older women have a large sexual appetite, and she can't see why MORE older women don't seek younger men as 50 year old men would NOT be able to keep up to her sexual needs lol!! So to women - this is something to think about eh.
LOl dan really dropping the bomb "I love cougars" xD
I agree with Jon Paul. As long as it is of legal age, attraction for banging has no restrictions. Why boxed ourselves up because we are conscious of what others will think of you?
24:00 is the best clip part. So far
Welcome back Denise!
I listen on podcast and am a fan of the insightful discussions! But a pet peeve of mine is that the sound effect of the introduction is significantly louder than the rest of the show 😅
why does it feel like everytime when someone justifies how wrong it is comes down to societal pressure of how wrong is it. Daniel mentioned something about sitting in the car with the girl and someone looks over and it feels wrong. it really sounds like a societal pressure thing. Hypotetically, if we live in a world that there is no limit to what age you date up or down, that exact same scenario plays, would people still feel that it's wrong?
This case of societal pressure was and is just a symptom of a deeper moral instinct that an older adult dating a minor person is wrong.
@@astrolight5000 Older men used to marry teenage girls below 18 all the time. All we ever hear about is how these couples lived happily ever after. Then in 1970s we said "Nah, that's creepy, teenagers should be screwing each other instead" and teenage pregnancies became a huge public health crisis we spent 30 years trying tamp down. So while I respect the idea minors shouldn't be dating, why isn't there the same taboo on minors dating each other? Don't give me that "grooming" and "power imbalance" crap. Most parents can't even get through to their 15 year old daughters, yet some random dude is supposed to have mind control powers over some teenager just by virtue of being 10 years older than her?
My mom didn't want me dating until I was 18 BTW, which was fine with me because I was a loner. I think that's reasonable. What I can't stand is these obvious attempts to vilify people for being gross and creepy for dating someone younger, and then covering it up with mental gymnastics about "power imbalance" and "manipulation."
I love TDK sm
We learn new words today, Horlock Horlock and BaBang BaBang😂😂😂
Why the double standard?
Managed to meet a partner when i was in Sec 2 she was sec 5...
so once she graduated and moved to poly she was like Sherms ?
but the gap that most will be a perfect zodiac cycle.
at least you know same animal group.
star sign will be another matter....
Shermane: I know *sly eyes* 😏
Alot of what you guys discussed are hypothetical. Whatever it is, 1) Grooming in any form is illegal. 2) Anything sexual with a minor is illegal.
I’m no expert but after watching this podcast, I was inspired to think a bit more about this topic and want to respond to some of the points raised in the video. Feel free to respond if you have stuff to add on/any opposing thoughts! :D
1. Overarching theme
From this discussion, there seems to be a single overarching theme of ambiguity. It shines through most obviously when discussing grooming and the intentions of the older party. Grooming probably only occurs if the intention of the older party is to ultimately use the minor for sex or strategically manipulate the minor into believing that they have no other choice of romantic partners except for this older person (usually done through gaslighting). But as Sherms has stated, it is also possible for the older person to have no such intentions at all and just date the younger person out of attraction to their personality. That’s why from her angle, it probably seemed “ok” to date someone underage.
This then brings me to my second point: if it’s possible that the older person has pure intentions when dating minors, why are we not giving them benefit of the doubt? Why do they receive social condemnation?
2. Law
Two answers: the law and the history/reasons behind the law.
I think many of the speakers mentioned the law as part of the reason why adults should not date people below a certain age. These laws probably came about to protect younger persons from being sex trafficked or taken advantage of. Young people below the age of 20 usually don’t have the resources, networks and strength an adult does. This makes it difficult for them to fight back when put into a situation where they are vulnerable to the requests of someone they are supposed to trust and love for life. While not all adults will use the minor’s trust to manipulate them into doing things against their will, there will be a portion that does so. And when they do so, it will be hard to prove their intention to take advantage of, groom or sex traffic the minor.
Hence, faced with all that ambiguity and “what-ifs”, it makes sense that the laws are used to ensure that there is ZERO chances of such situations occurring. Social stigma comes about after the law is executed and we associate whoever breaks that law with proven predators.
With regards to the age limit, I do have a theory in mind, but this comment is getting too long. So I’m gonna stop here.
Many thanks to the Daily Ketchup team for bravely talking about this controversial issue. Hopefully this video helps remind people why we don’t do certain things and to think more critically about the world around us!
so problematic
I think the rule of thumb is your age /2 + 7
First time wear long pants! HAHAHA
Wet season is Yeo Yann Yann at her best.
Lets face it. If an older person date a younger person. The older person is attract by the youth (or his/her lack of) and the younger person is attract by power/money (his/her lack of). This is 99% of the case. Humans are flaw. However who are we to judge? Don't we have enough problems of our own? Even if it is our own family we can only advise, it is really none of our business if it is not even family.
yea I think your biggest problem in life is your english
Referring back to some of the older episodes, you guys agreed that companionship or love would or should have Sex as a factor to play.
It is rare to have cases of such purity of love without sex in consideration, not that it does not exist but it is just rare
i love ur podcastsss
my plus is 7 years, minus is 2
U all remember shop and save?
Yall so bad to sherms😂😂
for me i'm late 30s .. at one point i didn't give a fuck about marrying early but..notice that girls usually panic when they going to hit 30 to get married..
less and less girls will be available with in your age gap as you get older..now i feel it difficult to find girl in thier 30s to even date
Denise mommy is back! Okay back to watching the ep
yea same I've been waiting for mommy Denise to be back
16 year old & 45 year old
Go Sherms!
Jaychou knew his wife when she was 15.. gg
❤ johnny depp. Tho he has evidently aged (blame AH), his legacy is will prevail.
Imagine saying you understand a Man in his 40s bonk a 15 year old girl... You wouldnt even "understand" their situation
For Singapore law, 16 is legal age of consent for sex, no matter how much older the person is. The legal age is only becomes 18 if it's a sexual service, prostitute or any paid sex. Also Singapore has no laws against waiting for the younger one to turn legal. According to the World Population Review, the most common legal age for sex is between 14-16(mostly 15, 16). It's rare for a country to have the legal age for sex at 18. First of all hardware zone is from Singapore. The reason why reddit people found that relationship on the reddit post very disturbing is because it was likely on the American reddit. Americans has very extreme strong values against dating young people and they have the extreme harshest laws and penalties against this. These American values were passed down through generations by the historical reformers called the Puritans and made worst by their Woke SJW today. Also just to be legal for drinking in America, you need to be 21. The age of consent for sex is 18 in California which is Americas main state where all our English speaking movies come from, so when we watch these movies we get influence by these values and we start to think the real life is the same as in movies, but that is just merely the law in California and social values in America. I think as long as everyone is over the legal age of consent, and both parities consent it's fine. To put it simply the outrage against dating younger people are mostly puritanical American influenced values. Asia and Europe are much better at treating their young people like grown ups.
I wonder if this podcast is staging for DeeKosh comeback
Sounds like Elvis and P😂riscilla
I saw idiots online in SG who claimed interdating between sec sch levels was pedophilia cos underage, which gt many likes. The stupidity on so many fronts was off the charts to me.
0 logical or moral reasons as to why 2 consenting adults can’t be together
Is 5 years age gap considered a longer age gap. Asking for a friend wink wink...
Setting the law aside, as long as one hits puberty and have a logically common sense to make sound decision, at what age to start dating/banging shouldn't be something to consider. It's just that we are living much longer now hence so much additional considerations; in the past a male would already be starting family at 15.
FIRST!
ur age divided by 2 + 7
Shermz damn cute
Shoutout to Peicai sec 15:13
"Did you touch his kkb?" Hahhahahha
I rmb watching wet season on a first date not knowing what I’m getting into and getting shocked by the Sex scene 😵😵
Oi this podcast not the same without John ,not as interesting. Why? Boss no need to work? Come back bro
Algooooooooooooooo
First
To answer the question on pedophillia, it’s only considered pedophillia if the older party likes the younger person for their childlike appearance
NOT true
But if this stance were to be an acceptable reason to differentiate a pedophile from someone who isn't, grooming wouldn't exist and this would become every pedophile's excuse to get away with their actions. This topic is so controversial tbh idek if its a good idea to talk abt this on TDK haahahahaha seems like an easy video to get the public all riled up tbh
No, Pedophilia is a DSM-5 medically defined term for sexual attraction to pre-pubescent children, usually under 13, more than 3 year age gap under 16, but cannot be officially diagnosed until the person is 16 or older.
"Childlike appearance" is highly subjective and controversial to use because it is used to bully people online for liking cute things. Adult like cute pink dress = childlike = anyone liking the adult is pedo.
Pedophiles always tell their prey that they seem older than what they really are, or “wow, you seem so mature for you age”. That’s how they always justify it and that’s why some use the term JAIL BAIT.
What does "child like appearance" mean though? A 30 year old looks more "child like" than a 60 year, and everyone prefers a 30 year old, so...
sherms very chio
All this non-sense about "grooming" and "power imbalances" makes me so angry. Imagine how insane you'd sound if you tried to apply this logic elsewhere in society:
At 16 you can sign legal contracts, but only with people 16 - 18.
At 18 you can sign legal contracts, but only with people under 25.
Only at 25 can you sign legal contracts with anyone.
Does anyone think those laws would really protect young people? Any ability an older person has to manipulate a younger person I'm sure is offset 10X by the benefits their increased wisdom and maturity brings to the relationship. For example, studies show a man 17 - 20 is twice as likely to hit his partner as one 25 - 28. Yet it's the 28 year old "creep" who you worry about dating your daughter.