Honestly the only thing I can say that I learned from my family is that anyone who is abusive is going to be rewarded and anyone who fights back against abuse is going to be labeled as a crazy person and outcasted from the family that is 100% abusive towards one another. There isn't a single scenario in which bad behavior was not rewarded in good behavior was not punished
Absolutely! They are a bully playing the victim. Why do they play the victim? Because the victim gets the attention. The victim is in control of the narrative.
@mytruthbekind5793 makes me wonder that when they have a true victim that they get to learn about mirroring that victim.? At the end of the day, it's drama we don't need .
Yeah… at the end he said how despicable my empathy and “obsession with consent” were. I had no words for that… just wow, the blinders came off and a whole lot dropped into place all at once
A narcissist uses people like action figures in their pre-set choreographed film similar to the way a child used action figures to pretend. You are literally just a toy that the narcissist expects to act in a way they have already determined. Any divergence from this will result in a harsh lashing out from the narcissist. As soon as you step out of your role they assigned to you. You will be discarded and they will play the victim.
My mom was an alcoholic because my dad beat the hell out of her on a regular basis for like 10 years straight. He literally did nothing at all ever to help her with her alcoholism. But it was always the blame for everything that she did wrong. And it was also the reason that he divorced her to everybody publicly. Except for the fact that she only drank because her husband beat the hell out of her and essentially raped her regularly
I recently learned a hard lesson about losing gracefully. It's not my job to protest, launder their karma nor get "clotheslined" by their actions, words & choices. Peace over being right can save lives, not just my own. Sometimes turning the other cheek is the *only* option. Thanks for your help Dr. Carter.
Yes that's what I've just recently discovered, too. Calling them out only causes more range, blaming and manipulation. Giving them no reaction does seem to defuse their nastiness. They have nothing to blame you for so they're forced to look at themselves...
💯% . That was the typical gaslighting of my narcissistic family system + my (now ex) boyfriend master of future faking + his narcissistic family system. Really, if I do a list of the Bad/Good things "labelled" in that context... I think there would be something I'm discerning still TODAY, for all the confusion and the fog they created 🥴 Anyway, if we are aware of the fog we have on certain topics... it means we have noticed the issue, so it's already a step for our recovery. [ grammar: I don't know where to put the word "still" in the sentence above ] flashback. I can remember the horrible feeling when I run from one family to another (and viceversa) for weeks and weeks... because they created discussions and accusations from Nothing until they managed to insult me... and I went in some form of panic... then, the "other" family saw the "supply" and they welcomed me with love bombing and then ...again and again and again... 📝⏩ The theory is right, I/we accepted uncivil treatments because I was grown up in the same uncivil system... Plus, I was already seriously traumatized, so I was always in fight-flight-freeze response... and the very first love bombing by people outside my family (with hundreds of red flags I didn't see at all) was the perfect (unhealthy) match in that situation of mine
Gaslighting us while we are commuting during our work hours is a lot easier fo us to cope with than being tortured while the narcissists are calling it the ethical in context thing to do at the time. Like after spreading around a pack of lies about their latest target to anyone who will listen and then watching the news every day in hopes of hearing that the blade behind them who infomed them that they have a blade behind them while the target was boarding a bus or whatever the target reported again while not recieving any real help was then later made their mark or that the red target got run over in traffic. Something which believe it or not people from that kind of crowd call only basic training for all young people and for all who have ever called themselves feminists during hard economic times. During the early 1950's that kind of thing made getting to move way closer to the north pole sound easier in comparison.
Sad but true... This is how they get you confused.. Which is their intention..Once you're on to them you're called crazy.. You can't win... It's their game to save them facing themselves. They are more bothered about that than causing unnecessary friction and chaos...
My favorite phrase from the narcissist in my life, "I'm just speaking my truth." It gives me clarity that logic or agreements do not apply to this person. She is making a choice to put her reality above all else.
Thank you Dr. Carter for all the support and help you have given me and many others. You have been an answer to my prayers. Your support, wisdom and help is appreciated more than you can ever imagine. I wish you and your lovely wife and family a blessed and healthy 2025!
I actually had a narcissist tell me one time, point blank, when they were spouting upsetting bad things at me and I told them I didn't want to hear all their bad stuff they were spouting...the narc said 'It's not bad. It's good!'. Wow.
The worst thing is when you stop noticing that you are rationalizing their bad actions and defending them to others, including yourself. 》Then you started gaslighting yourself!!!
I think when we deal with a cooperative person we also make excuses for them...and they make excuses for us, and this helps cooperation. I'd say this is functional behavior. With the narcissist they hijack this functional behavior (like a parasite does) where you'll make excuses for them...and they'll condemn you and make no excuses for you at all.
Exactly, Aaron. They also see their exploitations of others as “self-care.” For example, my Sociopathic sister said, “I have to make things comfortable for myself” as she emptied my parent’s basement by calling the 1800Junk truck.
@@Teacher369 "see their exploitations of others as “self-care.”" ... Yep, it gets even worse when they rationalise it is "for your own good" that you are being exploited/ put under pressure - or for the Greater Good: eg They volunteer you to self sacrifice yourself for others, and they then bask in the glory... (like they somehow did the work) Some Narcs even have themselves convinced this is 100% true, and they are Good Persons. Trying to gently explain that persons have a right to decide for themselves will get you nowhere...
When I took the narcissist back a 2nd time (mistake), he told me he would go to therapy to work on empathy. He continued to minimize or dismiss my feelings. When I confronted, he would say “I’m just giving you my opinion” That felt even more dismissive walking away when I had a legit reason to be upset and his opinion is I have no valid reason to be upset. I had to be honest with myself. There was no trust or hope anymore. I can't have a relationship with someone that lacks empathy and I was done playing the role of explaining basic relationship needs to a grown man. Not even 3 months later I walked away and he ended his therapy when I walked away.
Definitely this. They will easily concoct justifications that keep changing or build upon as time goes on. In the beginning that rudeness they were putting on you was an accident and innocent and an “oops” . After a while it keeps happening and you stand your ground they shift blame to you and say that original act of rudeness by them was because YOU. You made them do that.
THEY live incongruent , performative lives. The individual who has a narcissistic personality style complains life is too short, but lives like there's no tomorrow. Nothing adds up. Everything they say and do is a head scratcher. Who has that kind of time? Stay Healthy!!
It's funny, they A: can't see what they are doing as wrong even a little bit, so they conclude B: They aren't doing that at all and even C: that they are really against the thing they are absolutely doing.
You're a God sent. You're bringing me peace. I am having flashbacks on situations and now it all makes sense what I went through. This is healing and empowering. Thank you for your work.
I’m dealing with my dad with minimal contact since my poor mother died a few months ago. Everyone else has abandoned him (with reason) so I just have to do my part as far as being able to do it minimally. He’s 91, blind, mostly deaf and a pain in the arse. Meanwhile he’s out there playing the victim to every neighbor he hasn’t f**ked over. I get calls all the time with people thinking no one is there for him. The neighbors that are sympathetic with him are the females he hasn’t hit on sexually over the years…..but he’s working on it, thinking he’s still got his charms. Then I step in and the crap talking about me starts all over again. Ugh. I honestly don’t know how my mom put up with him and his narcissism. He couldn’t tell the truth if his life depended on it. She knew it and still stayed. It’s all about him and if you don’t go along with him, it’s an all out war. I’ll be honest in I’m hoping some gal does come along and take him for all he’s worth……because I couldn’t care a less. And I’d like my brothers to get nothing, too. Especially the golden child that doesn’t visit but will have his hand out for his share. I say give it all to some gal who wants to put up with him! I want nothing but peace!
Do not react to what they are saying and do not interact with them if possible…..and you are winning and they are losing,walk away physically if you have to…..just remember DO NOT REACT 😆.Another great video 👍
Dr. C has got the remedy to the top problem that concerns why narcissists won’t just let you be. 1:31 "it's the ultimate lifestyle of the gaslighter” - you couldn’t have made a better diagnosis. This wisdom was given just in time for a fresh start to the New Year - thank you in advance for the witty advice for good health, peace, and prosperity in 2025!! 10:20 “..I don’t want to be on that merry go round..” 🤣
The narc I was dealing with quit his job and sold his car to move back in with his mom and become a drug dealer. He has been doing this for 6 years now and sees me as an enemy because I encourage him to stop and just get a job. I know that he won’t change anytime soon and he will probably end up dead or in prison.
@ I’m not sure if she is aware, she is elderly. However she is enabling him by babying him, cooking and cleaning for him, letting him borrow her car…. I’ve considered talking to her directly about it, but I also don’t want to cause more drama.
Thank you. It didn't occur to me that my husband's frequent disagreements with me are narcissism, and yet I think that's what they are. Every time I say something about what I believe regarding equality, he has to say something horribly opposite. He didn't used to be this way, or maybe he just didn't seem to this way and he was. I should have seen this for what it is because I've been abused before.
Thank you Les. Thank you so much for your words and for the Beauty you bring into my life. I’m so grateful to be on team healthy and to be growing in the right direction. I’m nearly finished my masters project! On the home stretch towards my new life and going towards better places and better people of character. Bad will never be good no matter how much they want to pretend it is. They can keep pretending and stay down there for as long as they want to in their falseness and denial. A good life will never be possible for the person who wants to do bad things and pretend they are good.
I got off the "Merry Go Round" years ago w/"family" members & In-laws and I don't care if they think they are the "Keepers of Truth" or their Covert Narcissistic tactics---it won't be successful because I'm on the side of honesty w/my Lord & Savior.😇
Isaiah 5:20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
Now again Holy Spirit speaking, 3 times in the comments already (please read)!! THANK YOU EXACTLY, Jesus is coming, MARANATHA AMEN! Blessings abundant your way from Germany 🙏❤️
Thank you for referring to Isaiah it is an exact explanation of the distortion of narcissistic mind. God bless you 🙏 and always apply the word of God in our every situation
My mother has been so good at this all my life that I didn't realise at all! Now forgetful, she is still a master at manipulation of my feelings BUT she repeats the patterns in different ways. At first I was confused, then I realised her changeability was to control the narrative and situation to elevate how a he feels at my expense. She has ignored my feelings all my life and the hot cold had me tightly tied in to believing she knew better. Now I realise a mother is THERE FOR her child to nurture and help them be and understand the world and themselves, not leave them confused, hurt, feeling shame and guilt. I thought my mother was the best mother in the world. I felt so bad for her back story, my toxic father, her ill health and every and any problems. My life has been hard but not as hard as hers. When I flailed and failed, when I was abused, when I was hurt or confused she wasn't there. Then comes the you did this, you're not that, you should, ought blah blah blah. Just this xmas I mentioned something I like and it was met with disdain. Oh for a mother who could have said 'you're good and I'm here' even if you get things wrong, and I will show you the way ✌
In my family physically abusing someone is not seen as wrong. But talking about someone being physically abused is seen as something extremely wrong. I get called the crazy person but the person who denies being beaten physically weekly for years on end in denies it ever happened isn't the crazy person somehow.
It’s winter. The season for the sport of pro surfing. This year the waves were big and there were gnarly wipeouts. When there is a bad wipeout the big wave surfer doesn’t know which way is up. They sometimes have to follow their surfboard leash to find which way is up. Thank you, Dr. Carter for being the way that I know which way is “up”
AWESOOOME…I finally got to be on your LIVE video Gus and Dr. C!!! It was soooo fun and another awesome video!! HAPPY NEW YEAR. Smiles from Cynthia Ann in JANESVILLE, WI
I’m jealous! I listen to Dr. C at 1 am, with my phone hidden under my blanket. Walking on eggshells is my life, so I can’t risk my narc knowing that I watch these videos as I try to figure out how to get out.
@ dear one, God bless you. I used to do that also but now I just do it in the open. I don’t play it in the face, but I also don’t conceal it anymore. They want you to stay in fear and hiding. Boy, do I ever relate to you dear one. God bless you and remember you are precious and valuable. Keep your eyes on the Lord Jesus and he will guide you and protect you. I always pray for our loved ones who have these demonic behaviors inside of them. Let’s just say they all couldn’t have gone to the same college and have the same behaviors. These are demonic open doors, and I pray that the chains will be broken off of them, and that their eyes will see Truth, and they will humble themselves and repent. I will be praying for you and I also pray Psalms 91 over you and wisdom, wisdom, and knowledge for everyone here in the chat. Happy new year from Cynthia in Janesville, WI
Amen to that 🙏 Thank you for your precious prayers (we can never have too many prayers!). Happy New Year to you, Team Healthy Dr C and dear little Gus!!! 🥳♥️☺️🫂🥳
Dear Amanda, Thank you for your lovely reply once again. Yes, Christmas often can be difficult for it's already filled beforehand with expectations and all sorts of tension. That's why I prefer staying on my own or working. But this time the work turned into lots of chaos - from the rain to the eaves. The terrible fog you mentioned, that your eldest could not fly back, we have also had for 3 days. I hope your son has been able to come back by now. I am proud of you that you said NO to your youngest! And I am glad that you are looking forward to a completly new situation for yourself by taking little steps in that direction. You asked what am I crocheting. I started with pulse warmers, just to begin small. I thought about why crocheting/knitting can be so meditating/healthy and came to this conclusion: you are doing the same movements over and over again which is going over into a routine, a structure that gives you safety and calmness. You are doing something with your hands, which can distract you from your thoughts. And at the same time you yourself are creating something new, where you can see the end result with the byproduct of wearing your own creation... Sending you lots of warm inspirations and big hugs 💗🤗🫂
@roxymovie3938 It's great that you're making pulse warmers. I think here we call they wristwarmers here. I've knitted fingerless gloves but never for myself. Funny that! I crocheted ankle warmers. It is definitely therapeutic. Son is home and granddaughter visited yesterday. Youngest is here for 2 nights to see his brother at my convenience. I'm enjoying my own company for new years. I wish you all the warmest very best and a less chaotic new year 🫂✨️🙏💕💪
Yes, they provide cover for themselves because truth to them can and will be manipulated. Always to make them the authority to pronounce what is right and wrong and even that can and will change based on their needs. Then add religion to the equation, it gets messy. Truly crazy making. I am sad for my kids to think their dad can do no wrong and believe all words that come out of his mouth and join in with thinking I am the problem and mentally ill. Very sick, deeply sad!
That is typical. Or they may say: I only speak the truth, when in fact they have been caught lying many times. But they hope you will not remember that.
Memorable concepts......they shimmy around truth, integrity, and your honest perceptions with word salad mumbo jumbo, and can ratchet it up with implied or direct threats to your financial or physical wellbeing. Their merry-go-round to nowhere leaves you confused, weakened, and hurt.
"finding out more and more about you that they can use against you later" My EX! home care client did this. For 6 months, while his younger partner would argue with me about just about everything, even when he admitted he agreed with me, the older guy was friendly, and "collecting data". Then 6 months in, one day the older guy angrily BLEW UP at me, for a solid HALF-HOUR, throwing back in my face every single thing I had ever said or done over the previous 6 months. If I had known what I was dealing with back then, that would have been my LAST day on that assignment, as I really should have insisted my supervisor get me a new client.
They are very manipulative, they love to twist your words around to suit their own agenda; my ex husband the narc would go ballistic, and really lose it if my opinion differed from his own.
Thank you, as always for your clarity. This clear explanation of how the narcissists swaps good and bad as he or she sees fit really helps me deal with a certain situation with eyes wide open to what they are trying to do and thus helps me take it less personally, as it is not a reflection of me but of them. Thank you ❤
Thank you for explaining this ! Absolutely no accountability, and when you push for them to be accountable in the relationship, then he makes it about me nagging or have control issues. (Like coming home from work on time, answer his phone, help w house, kids, holiday prep, etc). They are a full load of crap.
I literally searched up narcissists good and bad and this was uploaded 3 hours ago amazing. My good and bad got flipped around by narcissistic family. Thank you Dr. C!!
I just noticed a thing aabout the world of narcisism and it looks like something doesn't makes senses. So narcissism is someone who lacks of emphaty and only focus on himself, but at the same time, to defend us from them we have to have no emphaty towards them?
We do have empathy; we just need to become 'extremely' selective as to WHO EXACTLY DESERVES THAT EMPATHY?? One thing for sure, the 'narcissist' does NOT! Happy New Year To All! 🌹🎼🎶🦋🎊🎁🎈❤️🙏
Thank you, Dr. Carter for sharing this information and all of your information with me and everyone on this site throughout 2024! You have brought me a lot more peace in my life because of it. Also, you always wear very nice shirts in your videos! Just want to pass along a compliment to you on that. Happy New Year to you, Gus and your Family! Thank you so much for all of your advice!
I resonate fully with this episode…..Perfect example: I call narc brother to say our elderly 83 year old mother is having sex with the propane gas delivery man and writing personal checks to him plus giving him cash (I found in her desk all written down) and he says…..”Good for her!!” - when I was outraged and ready for battle with this guy. See bro is such a mean spirited and cunning narc (graduated from Georgetown Law) he will thwart the good of the whole family just to injure me. I was stunned and choking on words with him. That incident just tip of the iceberg but fits the content in this episode……No contact now except occasional white noise phone call and a text. I worshipped him for decades and treated him like a prince while receiving no empathy, never got my way and I accepted that as “thats just the way it is with him” and actually saw his abuse as “okay” - wrote him a raw letter about mistreatment five years ago when I finally woke up at 55 years old and he could not talk about anything I wrote nor did I get an apology. So sad as I am low on relatives in this world but he is an enemy.
How's this from my narc son: "You're just jealous cause we spend holidays with dad." THEN, "Your kids are convinced you don't love them." My head is literally on a swivel.
My son has been so cruel to myself and his adult children over the woman hes with she has caused so so much trouble and iv just heard he has gotten engaged to her even got down on one knee we are thinking maybe hes actually changed with her 😅 bite my tongue i know he is what he is hasnt changed in 50 yrs so now we will sit back and watch this relationship unfold HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE 🎉
What gets me is that they do often end up on top. What gives with that? I feel like I was the loser in the drama with my nex. I can't say it was a "relationship" because it was always odd and strange.
@@Hatbox948 IMO every time you offer an inch to give some compromise, they take a mile. Even if you try to withdraw, they already took something while they gave nothing. They just cheat the social understanding to get more than the other person.
When I’m being “unbelievably rude 😒🙄“ to you it’s just a breakdown in communication- YOUR lack of good communication skills and lack of willingness to understand me
I'm not sure they can see other perspectives - they are right simply because there is no other perspective for them but theirs. The reality is to some degree taking other perspectives into account, but they don't see any perspective but their own so they can't see this reality.
The narc did that to me all the time, she kept trying to persuade me that Darth Vader was good and that I should feel sorry for hinm and admire him, even though he was a mass murderer and sadistic torturer. I always shut the argument down but she always brought it up again. It was so irritating.
Isaiah 5:20-21 20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! 21 Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight! I know it's Bible scripture but even God understood this would happen 😥🙏✝️🔥
Ok I know narcissist he says people doing great barely able pay rent. Same with lady barely working 2 days week saying she doing great. I called him out said so making 100k like no 40k. No one would say guy making 40k doing good. Gaslighting on whole different relm. So people struggling is good for narcissist.
My own mother (80) to a T. 😅👍👍 Not possible to talk to her. 🤦 Isaiah 5:20-21 "WOE UNTO THEM that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! WOE UNTO THEM that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!" 🙏
Thank-you, Dr. Carter. I have been noticing a significant amount of fake empathy. I think a malignant narcissist is very good at this. I am starting to recognize fake empathy, lying and manipulation for example by the sound in my ex-husband's voice - his voice tone sounds "flat" - lacking emotion during this behavior. Am I on the right track with what I'm interpreting? As I work through a post divorce process, I'm doing my best to go low contact. I have another question. This is about a narcissist's mask again. Am I in danger when the narcissist's mask slips more often or for longer periods of time? Or is a narcissist just more comfortable or have nothing to lose so the mask slips more often and for longer periods of time?
This is a little different comment but I will try to have it relate.. I just went down the rabbit hole of The False Self.. My conclusion is that we are all operating as The False Self but we all have choices.. It is still my False Self that chooses to be nice.. This gets into duality but I would say that my False Self likes to be treated with kindness and compassion and connection.. I would say that this would relate to the Secular World..
It's possible the nice you IS the real you, sitting on a lot of built up anger and frustration. Take a closer look, Continue to practice dignity, respect and civility as much as possible. Reflect on your anger and try to resolve it bit by bit. For me, listening/reading others stories somehow helped me forgive myself. Somehow, I guess, I was angry with being angry.
@@Rachel-mz8ko There is also a Scientific/Biological way to look at it.. There is a lot of disease that comes from anger.. Something that I asked myself was do I like all these health issues that are coming from stored anger or would I rather be healthy..
@@darinsmith2458 Nice! That's a really good place to be. After discovering this channel, (while I hated my anger and was looking for ways to increase my patience, especially with my narcissistic husband) my first steps toward emotional healing were also taken towards improving my physical health. For various reasons (some involving my narc) I had been pushing my health to the side. It actually took me nearly a year to get things back "in control" health-wise and actually still have a few outstanding issues. But I've made a lot of improvement.
@@Rachel-mz8ko From watching videos on Narcissism and my time in ACA what I am finding is that my health issues come from growing up with 2 alcoholic/narcissistic parents.. I have been watching videos on chronic pain and they talk about dealing with trauma..
My ex would call me evil when i did something good bc it "made" him like me lol. I should've known then he'd blame me for everything wrong with him and all of his problems would be my fault
It’s pitiable that you Mr narcissist want to sacrifice truth in order to satisfy your egos fears and desires. Truth is always good enough. Dignity, respect and civility are guiding us in our living in love and peace.
🌟 Te Deum laudamus 🌟 Thee, God, we praise For Dr C For Team Healthy For teaching us DRC ✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨ 📝 Information. On December 31st in many Christian churches, in the evening or late afternoon, the Te Deum hymn is sung, or it is simply said (without singing) as a prayer of thanksgiving for the year that is ending. Alongside the original text, meaning after the official prayer, people can add the thanks of the local community. In this case it is an international community. In the last years (decades?), many Christians in the world have gotten into the habit of composing their own _personal_ written 'thanks', on paper or on the internet
@@mikediamond353- Yes, Eminem is an amazing storyteller. His mother suffered from NPD as well 😪 check out Headlights on the same album. I picked up on this when the album came out. It is a story about revenge on a narcissist. IMO Great supplemental listening material to Dr. Carter’s amazing breakdown. *PARENTAL ADVISORY* 😅 If you listen to this entire album again, I guarantee you will find a lot more gems.
They purposefully make it very confusing as to who is the victim and who is the abuser.
Honestly the only thing I can say that I learned from my family is that anyone who is abusive is going to be rewarded and anyone who fights back against abuse is going to be labeled as a crazy person and outcasted from the family that is 100% abusive towards one another. There isn't a single scenario in which bad behavior was not rewarded in good behavior was not punished
Absolutely! They are a bully playing the victim. Why do they play the victim? Because the victim gets the attention.
The victim is in control of the narrative.
Perfectly stated. Thank you 🎉
More than just attention. Victims are entitled to things without doing anything. That's 🪱 behaviour
It’s so funny because being an actual victim isn’t beneficial at all. You have to acknowledge and recover. They don’t go through that process.
@@rossanderson5243 yes this very true brother. We have carouge though Yeshua has victory over the world of narcissists
@mytruthbekind5793 makes me wonder that when they have a true victim that they get to learn about mirroring that victim.? At the end of the day, it's drama we don't need .
Or good things as bad. They get to call the shots. Gaslighting on the highest level. Keeping you confused is the goal of their game.
Yeah… at the end he said how despicable my empathy and “obsession with consent” were. I had no words for that… just wow, the blinders came off and a whole lot dropped into place all at once
A narcissist uses people like action figures in their pre-set choreographed film similar to the way a child used action figures to pretend. You are literally just a toy that the narcissist expects to act in a way they have already determined. Any divergence from this will result in a harsh lashing out from the narcissist. As soon as you step out of your role they assigned to you. You will be discarded and they will play the victim.
Yesssssssssss!! TY
My brother to a T
a good example is how they encourage you to drink or take drugs, even when they know you are trying to stop.
My mom was an alcoholic because my dad beat the hell out of her on a regular basis for like 10 years straight. He literally did nothing at all ever to help her with her alcoholism. But it was always the blame for everything that she did wrong. And it was also the reason that he divorced her to everybody publicly. Except for the fact that she only drank because her husband beat the hell out of her and essentially raped her regularly
YUP.
Gotta have that alcohol 😂
@@tyremanguitars They're the devil's advocate!!! Pure evil!!! 😭😣😱
I recently learned a hard lesson about losing gracefully. It's not my job to protest, launder their karma nor get "clotheslined" by their actions, words & choices. Peace over being right can save lives, not just my own. Sometimes turning the other cheek is the *only* option. Thanks for your help Dr. Carter.
I have to take that in.
Yes that's what I've just recently discovered, too. Calling them out only causes more range, blaming and manipulation. Giving them no reaction does seem to defuse their nastiness. They have nothing to blame you for so they're forced to look at themselves...
God save us from toxic people!!!! 🙏
It's a form of gaslighting. 😦
💯% . That was the typical gaslighting of my narcissistic family system + my (now ex) boyfriend master of future faking + his narcissistic family system.
Really, if I do a list of the Bad/Good things "labelled" in that context...
I think there would be something I'm discerning still TODAY, for all the confusion and the fog they created 🥴
Anyway, if we are aware of the fog we have on certain topics... it means we have noticed the issue, so it's already a step for our recovery.
[ grammar: I don't know where to put the word "still" in the sentence above ]
flashback. I can remember the horrible feeling when I run from one family to another (and viceversa) for weeks and weeks... because they created discussions and accusations from Nothing until they managed to insult me... and I went in some form of panic... then, the "other" family saw the "supply" and they welcomed me with love bombing and then ...again and again and again...
📝⏩ The theory is right,
I/we accepted uncivil treatments because I was grown up in the same uncivil system...
Plus, I was already seriously traumatized, so I was always in fight-flight-freeze response...
and the very first love bombing by people outside my family (with hundreds of red flags I didn't see at all) was the perfect (unhealthy) match in that situation of mine
Gaslighting us while we are commuting during our work hours is a lot easier fo us to cope with than being tortured while the narcissists are calling it the ethical in context thing to do at the time. Like after spreading around a pack of lies about their latest target to anyone who will listen and then watching the news every day in hopes of hearing that the blade behind them who infomed them that they have a blade behind them while the target was boarding a bus or whatever the target reported again while not recieving any real help was then later made their mark or that the red target got run over in traffic. Something which believe it or not people from that kind of crowd call only basic training for all young people and for all who have ever called themselves feminists during hard economic times. During the early 1950's that kind of thing made getting to move way closer to the north pole sound easier in comparison.
🎯🎯🎯
Yes!
Sad but true... This is how they get you confused.. Which is their intention..Once you're on to them you're called crazy.. You can't win... It's their game to save them facing themselves. They are more bothered about that than causing unnecessary friction and chaos...
My favorite phrase from the narcissist in my life, "I'm just speaking my truth." It gives me clarity that logic or agreements do not apply to this person. She is making a choice to put her reality above all else.
And their truth must override anyone else's truth/perspective. There's no room for another truth in their world, only their own.
Thank you Dr. Carter for all the support and help you have given me and many others. You have been an answer to my prayers. Your support, wisdom and help is appreciated more than you can ever imagine. I wish you and your lovely wife and family a blessed and healthy 2025!
Of course! Glad to be on the path with you, Susan!
I actually had a narcissist tell me one time, point blank, when they were spouting upsetting bad things at me and I told them I didn't want to hear all their bad stuff they were spouting...the narc said 'It's not bad. It's good!'. Wow.
After a month w the narc I got the "well I noticed ____ about you...and that's ok, but".. to them it really wasn't.
The worst thing is when you stop noticing that you are rationalizing their bad actions and defending them to others, including yourself.
》Then you started gaslighting yourself!!!
@@roxymovie3938 Indeed!
I think when we deal with a cooperative person we also make excuses for them...and they make excuses for us, and this helps cooperation. I'd say this is functional behavior. With the narcissist they hijack this functional behavior (like a parasite does) where you'll make excuses for them...and they'll condemn you and make no excuses for you at all.
Egocentric narcissist defines good for them as good. Good for them is bad for everyone else.
How often is this true? All the time.
Exactly, Aaron. They also see their exploitations of others as “self-care.” For example, my Sociopathic sister said, “I have to make things comfortable for myself” as she emptied my parent’s basement by calling the 1800Junk truck.
Today’s joke on my channel has refreshed links.
@@Teacher369 "see their exploitations of others as “self-care.”" ... Yep, it gets even worse when they rationalise it is "for your own good" that you are being exploited/ put under pressure - or for the Greater Good: eg They volunteer you to self sacrifice yourself for others, and they then bask in the glory... (like they somehow did the work) Some Narcs even have themselves convinced this is 100% true, and they are Good Persons. Trying to gently explain that persons have a right to decide for themselves will get you nowhere...
When I took the narcissist back a 2nd time (mistake), he told me he would go to therapy to work on empathy.
He continued to minimize or dismiss my feelings. When I confronted, he would say “I’m just giving you my opinion”
That felt even more dismissive walking away when I had a legit reason to be upset and his opinion is I have no valid reason to be upset.
I had to be honest with myself. There was no trust or hope anymore. I can't have a relationship with someone that lacks empathy and I was done playing the role of explaining basic relationship needs to a grown man.
Not even 3 months later I walked away and he ended his therapy when I walked away.
Dr. Carter.... you are so spot on about narcissistic abuse and breaking healing from it. Thank you.
Meant to say healing from it..
And they will disagree with their previous position just to argue with you 😒🤦🏽♀️😭
I know, right?!
Definitely this. They will easily concoct justifications that keep changing or build upon as time goes on. In the beginning that rudeness they were putting on you was an accident and innocent and an “oops” . After a while it keeps happening and you stand your ground they shift blame to you and say that original act of rudeness by them was because YOU. You made them do that.
THEY live incongruent , performative lives.
The individual who has a narcissistic personality style complains life is too short, but lives like there's no tomorrow.
Nothing adds up. Everything they say and do is a head scratcher.
Who has that kind of time?
Stay Healthy!!
I worked for this company and when they hired me they said they don't allow any egos. That was exactly the opposite of how things went.
It's funny, they A: can't see what they are doing as wrong even a little bit, so they conclude B: They aren't doing that at all and even C: that they are really against the thing they are absolutely doing.
@cairosilver2932 it is a vicious circle.
You're a God sent. You're bringing me peace. I am having flashbacks on situations and now it all makes sense what I went through. This is healing and empowering. Thank you for your work.
I’m dealing with my dad with minimal contact since my poor mother died a few months ago. Everyone else has abandoned him (with reason) so I just have to do my part as far as being able to do it minimally. He’s 91, blind, mostly deaf and a pain in the arse. Meanwhile he’s out there playing the victim to every neighbor he hasn’t f**ked over. I get calls all the time with people thinking no one is there for him. The neighbors that are sympathetic with him are the females he hasn’t hit on sexually over the years…..but he’s working on it, thinking he’s still got his charms. Then I step in and the crap talking about me starts all over again. Ugh. I honestly don’t know how my mom put up with him and his narcissism. He couldn’t tell the truth if his life depended on it. She knew it and still stayed. It’s all about him and if you don’t go along with him, it’s an all out war. I’ll be honest in I’m hoping some gal does come along and take him for all he’s worth……because I couldn’t care a less. And I’d like my brothers to get nothing, too. Especially the golden child that doesn’t visit but will have his hand out for his share. I say give it all to some gal who wants to put up with him! I want nothing but peace!
Do not react to what they are saying and do not interact with them if possible…..and you are winning and they are losing,walk away physically if you have to…..just remember DO NOT REACT 😆.Another great video 👍
Dr. C has got the remedy to the top problem that concerns why narcissists won’t just let you be. 1:31 "it's the ultimate lifestyle of the
gaslighter” - you couldn’t have made a better diagnosis. This wisdom was given just in time for a fresh start to the New Year - thank you in advance for the witty advice for good health, peace, and prosperity in 2025!! 10:20 “..I don’t want to be on that merry go round..” 🤣
The narc I was dealing with quit his job and sold his car to move back in with his mom and become a drug dealer. He has been doing this for 6 years now and sees me as an enemy because I encourage him to stop and just get a job.
I know that he won’t change anytime soon and he will probably end up dead or in prison.
Is his mom okay with him doing that?
@ I’m not sure if she is aware, she is elderly. However she is enabling him by babying him, cooking and cleaning for him, letting him borrow her car…. I’ve considered talking to her directly about it, but I also don’t want to cause more drama.
@@ramzilla1 Right. That's understandable.
Thank you. It didn't occur to me that my husband's frequent disagreements with me are narcissism, and yet I think that's what they are. Every time I say something about what I believe regarding equality, he has to say something horribly opposite. He didn't used to be this way, or maybe he just didn't seem to this way and he was. I should have seen this for what it is because I've been abused before.
They also tend to talk about something on purpose just to see how you will react, and then accuse you of never supporting their "cause"
Thank you Les. Thank you so much for your words and for the Beauty you bring into my life. I’m so grateful to be on team healthy and to be growing in the right direction. I’m nearly finished my masters project! On the home stretch towards my new life and going towards better places and better people of character. Bad will never be good no matter how much they want to pretend it is. They can keep pretending and stay down there for as long as they want to in their falseness and denial. A good life will never be possible for the person who wants to do bad things and pretend they are good.
Good luck on the master's degree, Andrea. That's truly a major accomplishment!
Thank you! ✨✨🐾🐾🐾
I got off the "Merry Go Round" years ago w/"family" members & In-laws and I don't care if they think they are the "Keepers of Truth" or their Covert Narcissistic tactics---it won't be successful because I'm on the side of honesty w/my Lord & Savior.😇
Isaiah 5:20
Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
👍 THANK YOU!
Now again Holy Spirit speaking, 3 times in the comments already (please read)!! THANK YOU EXACTLY, Jesus is coming, MARANATHA AMEN! Blessings abundant your way from Germany 🙏❤️
Thank you for referring to Isaiah it is an exact explanation of the distortion of narcissistic mind. God bless you 🙏 and always apply the word of God in our every situation
@dakoderii4221 The perfect verse! Thank you 😊 And unfortunately, it seems that that's the way of the world right now as well! 😣
Excellent quote!
Thank you for the inspiration! ❤
My mother has been so good at this all my life that I didn't realise at all! Now forgetful, she is still a master at manipulation of my feelings BUT she repeats the patterns in different ways. At first I was confused, then I realised her changeability was to control the narrative and situation to elevate how a he feels at my expense. She has ignored my feelings all my life and the hot cold had me tightly tied in to believing she knew better. Now I realise a mother is THERE FOR her child to nurture and help them be and understand the world and themselves, not leave them confused, hurt, feeling shame and guilt. I thought my mother was the best mother in the world. I felt so bad for her back story, my toxic father, her ill health and every and any problems. My life has been hard but not as hard as hers. When I flailed and failed, when I was abused, when I was hurt or confused she wasn't there. Then comes the you did this, you're not that, you should, ought blah blah blah. Just this xmas I mentioned something I like and it was met with disdain. Oh for a mother who could have said 'you're good and I'm here' even if you get things wrong, and I will show you the way ✌
Read “Love yourself like your life depends on it” by Kamal Ravikant.
In my family physically abusing someone is not seen as wrong. But talking about someone being physically abused is seen as something extremely wrong. I get called the crazy person but the person who denies being beaten physically weekly for years on end in denies it ever happened isn't the crazy person somehow.
They accuse you of never supporting their "cause", when their real cause is to drain you.
It’s winter. The season for the sport of pro surfing. This year the waves were big and there were gnarly wipeouts. When there is a bad wipeout the big wave surfer doesn’t know which way is up. They sometimes have to follow their surfboard leash to find which way is up. Thank you, Dr. Carter for being the way that I know which way is “up”
I like how you described this.
🎉 HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! 🍾
Happy New Year 🎉 ✨️
Have a happy new year. 😊
Have a Blessed New Year 2025 To Dr Carter and Family, and Team Healthy 🎉🌿✨️
Have a happy new year. 😊
@yukio_saito Happy New Year ✨️
what is bad is good and what is good is bad is excatly what is going on in this generational society! Stay strong and supported🙃😉
We're all ears Dr. C!
AWESOOOME…I finally got to be on your LIVE video Gus and Dr. C!!!
It was soooo fun and another awesome video!!
HAPPY NEW YEAR.
Smiles from Cynthia Ann in JANESVILLE, WI
Thanks, Cynthia!!
@ hee…smiles
I’m jealous! I listen to Dr. C at 1 am, with my phone hidden under my blanket. Walking on eggshells is my life, so I can’t risk my narc knowing that I watch these videos as I try to figure out how to get out.
@ dear one, God bless you. I used to do that also but now I just do it in the open. I don’t play it in the face, but I also don’t conceal it anymore. They want you to stay in fear and hiding. Boy, do I ever relate to you dear one. God bless you and remember you are precious and valuable. Keep your eyes on the Lord Jesus and he will guide you and protect you. I always pray for our loved ones who have these demonic behaviors inside of them. Let’s just say they all couldn’t have gone to the same college and have the same behaviors. These are demonic open doors, and I pray that the chains will be broken off of them, and that their eyes will see Truth, and they will humble themselves and repent. I will be praying for you and I also pray Psalms 91 over you and wisdom, wisdom, and knowledge for everyone here in the chat.
Happy new year from Cynthia in Janesville, WI
Amen to that 🙏 Thank you for your precious prayers (we can never have too many prayers!). Happy New Year to you, Team Healthy Dr C and dear little Gus!!!
🥳♥️☺️🫂🥳
Bad things are good to them because they hurt other people!
Dear Amanda,
Thank you for your lovely reply once again.
Yes, Christmas often can be difficult for it's already filled beforehand with expectations and all sorts of tension. That's why I prefer staying on my own or working. But this time the work turned into lots of chaos - from the rain to the eaves.
The terrible fog you mentioned, that your eldest could not fly back, we have also had for 3 days. I hope your son has been able to come back by now.
I am proud of you that you said NO to your youngest! And I am glad that you are looking forward to a completly new situation for yourself by taking little steps in that direction.
You asked what am I crocheting. I started with pulse warmers, just to begin small. I thought about why crocheting/knitting can be so meditating/healthy and came to this conclusion: you are doing the same movements over and over again which is going over into a routine, a structure that gives you safety and calmness. You are doing something with your hands, which can distract you from your thoughts. And at the same time you yourself are creating something new, where you can see the end result with the byproduct of wearing your own creation...
Sending you lots of warm inspirations and big hugs 💗🤗🫂
Hi Amanda. 🫖 ☕️ 🍪 I saw your greeting on Chat. Thank you.
@Teacher369 You're welcome 🙏
@roxymovie3938 It's great that you're making pulse warmers. I think here we call they wristwarmers here. I've knitted fingerless gloves but never for myself. Funny that! I crocheted ankle warmers. It is definitely therapeutic.
Son is home and granddaughter visited yesterday.
Youngest is here for 2 nights to see his brother at my convenience.
I'm enjoying my own company for new years.
I wish you all the warmest very best and a less chaotic new year 🫂✨️🙏💕💪
It's very telling that the government won't ever declare narcissism a public health emergency.
Yes, they provide cover for themselves because truth to them can and will be manipulated. Always to make them the authority to pronounce what is right and wrong and even that can and will change based on their needs. Then add religion to the equation, it gets messy. Truly crazy making. I am sad for my kids to think their dad can do no wrong and believe all words that come out of his mouth and join in with thinking I am the problem and mentally ill. Very sick, deeply sad!
Stay on the high road where they can always choose to join you later!
Spot on!!
" I'm not complaining, I'm just saying."
My narc’s saying is “I’m not being critical, I’m being honest”
That is typical.
Or they may say: I only speak the truth, when in fact they have been caught lying many times. But they hope you will not remember that.
Memorable concepts......they shimmy around truth, integrity, and your honest perceptions with word salad mumbo jumbo, and can ratchet it up with implied or direct threats to your financial or physical wellbeing. Their merry-go-round to nowhere leaves you confused, weakened, and hurt.
"finding out more and more about you that they can use against you later"
My EX! home care client did this. For 6 months, while his younger partner would argue with me about just about everything, even when he admitted he agreed with me, the older guy was friendly, and "collecting data". Then 6 months in, one day the older guy angrily BLEW UP at me, for a solid HALF-HOUR, throwing back in my face every single thing I had ever said or done over the previous 6 months. If I had known what I was dealing with back then, that would have been my LAST day on that assignment, as I really should have insisted my supervisor get me a new client.
They are very manipulative, they love to twist your words around to suit their own agenda; my ex husband the narc would go ballistic, and really lose it if my opinion differed from his own.
Thank you, as always for your clarity. This clear explanation of how the narcissists swaps good and bad as he or she sees fit really helps me deal with a certain situation with eyes wide open to what they are trying to do and thus helps me take it less personally, as it is not a reflection of me but of them. Thank you ❤
Thank you for explaining this ! Absolutely no accountability, and when you push for them to be accountable in the relationship, then he makes it about me nagging or have control issues. (Like coming home from work on time, answer his phone, help w house, kids, holiday prep, etc). They are a full load of crap.
Thank-you.
I literally searched up narcissists good and bad and this was uploaded 3 hours ago amazing. My good and bad got flipped around by narcissistic family. Thank you Dr. C!!
So helpful in the festive season fallout. Thank you, Dr C. I love Gus, once again, lying next to the blanket xx
I just noticed a thing aabout the world of narcisism and it looks like something doesn't makes senses. So narcissism is someone who lacks of emphaty and only focus on himself, but at the same time, to defend us from them we have to have no emphaty towards them?
We do have empathy; we just need to become 'extremely' selective as to WHO EXACTLY DESERVES THAT EMPATHY?? One thing for sure, the 'narcissist' does NOT!
Happy New Year To All! 🌹🎼🎶🦋🎊🎁🎈❤️🙏
What a fine line to walk.
Happy New Years to you too!!!
oh boy...had interactions with that this Christmas season....my reply, "you can't handle the truth!" 😊
Such wise insights Dr Carter - thank u so much!! ❤
Thank you, Dr. Carter for sharing this information and all of your information with me and everyone on this site throughout 2024! You have brought me a lot more peace in my life because of it. Also, you always wear very nice shirts in your videos! Just want to pass along a compliment to you on that. Happy New Year to you, Gus and your Family! Thank you so much for all of your advice!
Happy New dr. Les 🎉🥂🌟
Same to you! Happy new year!!
@SurvivingNarcissism
Thank you dr Les!🙏
I resonate fully with this episode…..Perfect example: I call narc brother to say our elderly 83 year old mother is having sex with the propane gas delivery man and writing personal checks to him plus giving him cash (I found in her desk all written down) and he says…..”Good for her!!” - when I was outraged and ready for battle with this guy. See bro is such a mean spirited and cunning narc (graduated from Georgetown Law) he will thwart the good of the whole family just to injure me. I was stunned and choking on words with him. That incident just tip of the iceberg but fits the content in this episode……No contact now except occasional white noise phone call and a text. I worshipped him for decades and treated him like a prince while receiving no empathy, never got my way and I accepted that as “thats just the way it is with him” and actually saw his abuse as “okay” - wrote him a raw letter about mistreatment five years ago when I finally woke up at 55 years old and he could not talk about anything I wrote nor did I get an apology. So sad as I am low on relatives in this world but he is an enemy.
I’m sending love to everyone here. I hope 2025 will be the best year ever for you. ❤
How's this from my narc son: "You're just jealous cause we spend holidays with dad." THEN, "Your kids are convinced you don't love them." My head is literally on a swivel.
My son has been so cruel to myself and his adult children over the woman hes with she has caused so so much trouble and iv just heard he has gotten engaged to her even got down on one knee we are thinking maybe hes actually changed with her 😅 bite my tongue i know he is what he is hasnt changed in 50 yrs so now we will sit back and watch this relationship unfold HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE 🎉
Any communication with them is like a game of monkey pile - no matter how senseless their argument, words, or observations they have to end up on top.
Yup… it’s like the game we played called TWISTER
What gets me is that they do often end up on top. What gives with that? I feel like I was the loser in the drama with my nex. I can't say it was a "relationship" because it was always odd and strange.
@@Hatbox948 People are cowards and they are afraid of what the narc will dish out to them.
@@badomaji I was. He could be so vile.
@@Hatbox948 IMO every time you offer an inch to give some compromise, they take a mile. Even if you try to withdraw, they already took something while they gave nothing. They just cheat the social understanding to get more than the other person.
This information is so very helpful. Thank you
When I’m being “unbelievably rude 😒🙄“ to you it’s just a breakdown in communication- YOUR lack of good communication skills and lack of willingness to understand me
Honestly isn't a core value. They have little concern for the truth. Looking good, is more important than being good.
Thank you again for your videos.
So helpful…thank you❤
Happy New Year! Hope 2025 is DRC.🐕
You are a blessing
Thank you ♥️
Please advise how to co-parent with a malignant narcissist. 😢
Court order
@ a court order doesn’t stop him from destroying his children’s psyches.
@@Cara96 I know it's impossible all I know is be a role model save yourself.
🙏🕊💙🩵🤍
Please watch Dr Kerry McAvoys latest with Lisa Sonni.
Very Dear Doc, wishing you & your loved ones a most healthy & joyful New Year. I am so deeply grateful for your teachings. 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡
I'm not sure they can see other perspectives - they are right simply because there is no other perspective for them but theirs. The reality is to some degree taking other perspectives into account, but they don't see any perspective but their own so they can't see this reality.
The narc did that to me all the time, she kept trying to persuade me that Darth Vader was good and that I should feel sorry for hinm and admire him, even though he was a mass murderer and sadistic torturer. I always shut the argument down but she always brought it up again. It was so irritating.
Isaiah 5:20-21
20 Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
21 Woe unto them that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!
I know it's Bible scripture but even God understood this would happen 😥🙏✝️🔥
AMEN Holy Spirit speaking, my comment above EXACTLY! THANK YOU sister, Jesus is coming and VERY SOON! 🙏❤️ Blessings abundant your way from Germany
OMG yes, dealth with this.
For them" you are a problem"
Ok I know narcissist he says people doing great barely able pay rent. Same with lady barely working 2 days week saying she doing great. I called him out said so making 100k like no 40k. No one would say guy making 40k doing good. Gaslighting on whole different relm. So people struggling is good for narcissist.
Good and bad are subjective because people have different value systems.
I meant to say healing not breaking....
Dr. C - a question. Is there a way to discern 5 Love Languages from love bombing attempts?
It would be great to have another collaboration with Terri Cole. ✨️
Agree 💯
So true
I think my daughter is captured by a narcissist. 😢
Get her out of there any way you can. If she has a child with him he will be in her life forever 😮
@Cara96 I've been trying but now she can't speak to me. She is 1200 miles away and married a long while. She has kids .
@@Cathy-d3t I’m really very sorry 😢
My own mother (80) to a T. 😅👍👍 Not possible to talk to her. 🤦
Isaiah 5:20-21 "WOE UNTO THEM that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter! WOE UNTO THEM that are wise in their own eyes, and prudent in their own sight!" 🙏
Thank-you, Dr. Carter. I have been noticing a significant amount of fake empathy. I think a malignant narcissist is very good at this. I am starting to recognize fake empathy, lying and manipulation for example by the sound in my ex-husband's voice - his voice tone sounds "flat" - lacking emotion during this behavior. Am I on the right track with what I'm interpreting? As I work through a post divorce process, I'm doing my best to go low contact. I have another question. This is about a narcissist's mask again. Am I in danger when the narcissist's mask slips more often or for longer periods of time? Or is a narcissist just more comfortable or have nothing to lose so the mask slips more often and for longer periods of time?
This is a little different comment but I will try to have it relate.. I just went down the rabbit hole of The False Self.. My conclusion is that we are all operating as The False Self but we all have choices.. It is still my False Self that chooses to be nice.. This gets into duality but I would say that my False Self likes to be treated with kindness and compassion and connection.. I would say that this would relate to the Secular World..
It's possible the nice you IS the real you, sitting on a lot of built up anger and frustration. Take a closer look, Continue to practice dignity, respect and civility as much as possible. Reflect on your anger and try to resolve it bit by bit. For me, listening/reading others stories somehow helped me forgive myself. Somehow, I guess, I was angry with being angry.
@@Rachel-mz8ko There is also a Scientific/Biological way to look at it.. There is a lot of disease that comes from anger.. Something that I asked myself was do I like all these health issues that are coming from stored anger or would I rather be healthy..
@@darinsmith2458 Nice! That's a really good place to be. After discovering this channel, (while I hated my anger and was looking for ways to increase my patience, especially with my narcissistic husband) my first steps toward emotional healing were also taken towards improving my physical health. For various reasons (some involving my narc) I had been pushing my health to the side. It actually took me nearly a year to get things back "in control" health-wise and actually still have a few outstanding issues. But I've made a lot of improvement.
@@Rachel-mz8ko From watching videos on Narcissism and my time in ACA what I am finding is that my health issues come from growing up with 2 alcoholic/narcissistic parents.. I have been watching videos on chronic pain and they talk about dealing with trauma..
My ex would call me evil when i did something good bc it "made" him like me lol. I should've known then he'd blame me for everything wrong with him and all of his problems would be my fault
It’s pitiable that you Mr narcissist want to sacrifice truth in order to satisfy your egos fears and desires. Truth is always good enough. Dignity, respect and civility are guiding us in our living in love and peace.
I love you
Ministry of Truth -1984 (G. Orwell)
Gus??!!!
Oh good, there he is
okay, but just putting it out there, i will cop to being a narcissist before i ever concede piracy is bad
i'm pretty pro- polyamory too, but i do realize that's not an excuse to be a cheater
and xtianity is pretty obviously f v cked up, unless you grew up inj a world where it was so thoroughlyb normalized as this one
noncompliance sounds like cop talk
🌟 Te Deum laudamus
🌟 Thee, God, we praise
For Dr C
For Team Healthy
For teaching us DRC
✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨🧡✨
📝 Information.
On December 31st
in many Christian churches, in the evening or late afternoon, the Te Deum hymn is sung, or it is simply said (without singing) as a prayer of thanksgiving for the year that is ending.
Alongside the original text, meaning after the official prayer,
people can add the thanks of the local community.
In this case it is an international community.
In the last years (decades?),
many Christians in the world have gotten into the habit of composing their own _personal_ written 'thanks',
on paper or on the internet
You doubt the narcissists or have different opinions, they would say you hold bias against them. X)
🙏
Eminem - Bad Guy
It seems obvious, now.
@@mikediamond353- Yes, Eminem is an amazing storyteller. His mother suffered from NPD as well 😪 check out Headlights on the same album.
I picked up on this when the album came out. It is a story about revenge on a narcissist.
IMO Great supplemental listening material to Dr. Carter’s amazing breakdown. *PARENTAL ADVISORY* 😅
If you listen to this entire album again, I guarantee you will find a lot more gems.
also, i think it's okay to be intolerant of bigotry
I'm not upset, you are? After days of gaslighting and accusations.
❤