Life Lessons: You can't change other people.
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- Опубликовано: 30 июл 2024
- You can impact someone's life but we can't change them. Often we see a trainwreck happening in another person's life and we want to save them or stop it from happening. We want the best for them, what we "think" is the best for them, and often we can interfere in their life and view it as helping. We can help others when they ask for help, however we must be aware of the inner value of the person and allow them to be powerful and responsible for their own life. The only person we can change is ourself. Another life lesson learned, we can't compare our life to another person's life. With the help or harm of social media, many of us tend to compare our lives to others based on a Facebook post or Instagram picture. Watch the video and get a new perspective on how to end the cycle of comparison and put that energy into positive life-supporting ways. Lastly, we need to work to inspire ourself from the inside out. If we are honestly able to focus on ourself for who we are inside, we get a better understanding and acceptance of ourself. Do you realize the impact you have on others? Do you see your personal power? Please take time to subscibe to my channel! I look forward to reading your authentic comments! For more information: www.ashleyberges.com
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Well let's validate the validater. It's a very womanly, kind & compassonite voice that gives comfort & wisdom. : )
Thank you Brad McEwen appreciate you reaching out!
Such a shame these videos don't get more views, hope that doesn't discourage you from keep doing them.
Thank you Alaa Shawkat, definately hoping for more views and community conversation sparring from these videos, I hope it's just a matter of time that the RUclips community realize this channel is here.
you probably know about these but i am gonna share my thoughts on the matter.
1.seeking collaboration with other youtubers
2.attending these youtube conferences that they hold each year.
3. marketing the videos better.
of course you know your situation better. but i think this would help
Thank you Alaa, is one of the conferences Vidcon.com? I'd like to collaborate with other youtubers, great idea.
Thank you for reaching out DJ Alstein. I hope more people hear about and connect with the channel. Hoping you're doing great.
Agreed I wish there were more views! Every relationship would benefit from this knowledge. Very wise person.
I really like your voice .. thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings
Thank you Elizabeth! I appreciate you.
Your voice is all yours and no one else’s.Never appologize❤️💕
Exactly what I needed to hear today... don’t try to change others. How does this happen?!
Dear Ashley, I've been following you for a while now and I really love your channel and the message you're sending. You are a very strong woman and I admire you a lot! I've been going through such a hard time after leaving a very toxic friendship and I'm trying to find out who I really am and try to find my purpose in life after being emotionally abused for so long. Your video's are helping more than I can express in words, keep up the amazing work! And by the way I love your voice, it's very unique and special, just as you are!
Okey now (8-9min in) I had to run in to the kitchen to paus the video becouse i did not belive my ears! How can she not like her voice? I absolutly LOVE it! The first video with her the voice made me think god her voice is amazing, nice to lisen to, feels real, powerful and delivers the message in a convincing way.
I totally agree. I feel like people don't respect me because of my voice, while they might think I'm so fragile and I would like to learn to sound more powerful and to speak louder. And her voice is just powerful and it made me to watch her video. All videos are very informative and helped me a lot! Thank you!
Love love love the sound of your voice. It inspires confidence in me to hear your words, and in no other voice but yours.
My adult child keeps making mistakes; I tried everything; couldn’t change her because she doesn’t want to change. I am not involved in her misery any more. That is all I can do. Your voice is assertive and flawless
I agree with almost everything you said except "being an example" to others. Every creature in nature looks out for their own survival and not that of other's. It's not our job to lead others, let them figure things out for themselves.
i love your voice.actually your voice was the reason i began watch your amazing videos
Your voice, soothing , like delia on radio. Listing. Ty
I really like your voice!!
Thank you X Ypsilon!
Ashley Berges Thank YOU! for your videos, they have great aspects, thougts in it, giving me input. I am about to break up with my Partner after 6ys now and your vids helping me a lot going through this. Wish u all the best! Greetings from vienna, austria.
I do also. It is clear and projects so nicely.
ruclips.net/video/JoEHQnSgPQs/видео.html
ruclips.net/video/yEjIYJQ-NH8/видео.html
Another great video. Great information 👌
Exactly!! No one needs told what to do! Help them by knowing where they’re coming from? Start by being there and help without judging. Look above the bubble world and try to see where they are coming from? Unless you’ve lived their life? Never judge and say, “ just get over it!” If I hear that one more time?! Ahhh 😳🧐✌🏻❤️
I'm not gonna lie...the first thing I loved about listening to the first video i watch of yours was your voice. I absolutely love it! And your content is great! Your one of my favorites on RUclips❤🤍🌹
And I’m doing ok! Great to know I wasn’t crazy, nor stupid! Knowing why helped me more than anything! Knowledge is great!! Thank you
Must add to below stated: I’ve been diagnosed with what they call extreme PTSD . Huh? Wherein my brain took over without any notice or email, memo to me. It sucks every day living with this. I’m not crazy, nor stupid, per my doctor. Just brain took over and I don’t get a voice or memo on what I can or can’t do! Sucks!! No one understands me. I hurt more people I love and hate it!!
Sooo, until lived it? Never judge and be grateful you’ve never had to live this way. Thank you for all your thoughts Ashley. God bless you girl!! You Go!! ✌🏻❤️😁
You're voice is you and I want to hear you!
Me trying to change my family my whole life, do not do it. Try your best. To change yourself not others.
first off Ashley I've been watching your videos for the past six months and they are really really help me specially that I just survived a narcissistic relationship and your videos have been helping me and I was so shocked when you said that you had a problem with your voice and that you didn't except your voice in the past because the first thing that drew my attention and that I loved about your videos was your voice and how do you spoke you have a really nice voice it's really calming and clear and the way you speak is very lady like I am so shocked that you didn't like your voice at first and yeah thank you so much Ashley for your videos they really help I swear
It was your voice that kept me watching until I understood, not only hearing, but listening, this content is great, no matter if it is pesented by a Micky Maus, or a real woman.
I lived in the streets since 16, left Germany, was a criminal in France. I never did drugs or alcohol, kept my body fit and was educating me. I could not chance nobody, I learned that early. I couldn't take a single person with me. To stay was dangerous.
I had no documents, I served in the Legión, kill to survive food and a passport. It was dangerous to stay. I became a medical doctor, I was so proud of me. I had my clinic for twenty years. I became a slave, health care payed bad, 85% taxes, abuse.
It was dangerous to stay. I quit my profesión and left Europe.
I never changed, I am still the same, but I moved.
To me to change is to move, this is an action.
It is dangerous to take people on your way, this has to be a decisión of life and dead.
God is freedom, I am free, God found me in South América, I am happy each and every single day. It was a long way.
3 months ago I had to send my love back to the streets, I am still greving. There is no change. She didn't move, so I had to move her.
If you do not move life moves you, you can't explain or negociate. I am peace, but I become angry, if I get clip service, I have eyes to see. Reality has no eyes, nor ears, you can accuse my for that. I never saw a single person change in my life. I survived by moving. Suppressiv fire might help as well. Sometimes you have to run.
Thank you for your work!
Saludos cordiales desde Sudamérica
Ashely these are great messages. I am at a crossroads where I am deciding what and who I want to be for the last 20 or so years I have on the planet. I am close to retirement, I have a great significant other but I want to shed my old life and adopt a new one. By listening to these types of messages from you and others I am adopting (trying to) a new way of being that has me pretty excited about my future. Adopting a different mindset has resulted in a renewed vigor. Even simple changes like new hobbies or getting more involved with old ones, or new community volunteer activities, and my national park bucket list plans, how I interact with my spouse in a better way.. all good.
Your channel is an absolute goldmine, especially for helping me to maintain a healthy mental attitude. Thank you.
Thank you so much, You are wise , smart, and I love the way you are talking, your rhythm, {not too fast] your pronunciation help me a lot to understand every word.
Thanks again
Thank you for reaching out Rachel, I appreciate you!
Your amazing!!!! I love that you talked about your voice. Your work is so important. Thank you.
This is very true . And sadly alot of people don't know this (I didn't until this year) . But I'm so glad I know this now !
The lesson i learnd the hard way is that yes we cant change others. but if they are toxic then you dont have to listen to what they say, take abuse. Or watch them be selfdestruct. You can leave them and take care of your own health. And ghosting toxic people is SO underrated. Talking to toxic/narcissistic/addicts is just a fucking wast of time if you expect them to change.
Sometimes I've got jealous of some people life styles but my husband gave me the perfect answer. He gave me this hug, reminded me that my goals were different to this persons and he just made me feel about how great my life actually is. So I've learnt to program my mind to thinking, if that's what this person wants to do that's fine but I'm going to concentrate on my goals and what I want and I felt happier.
That great to hear keep it up!
I love your voice and your messages. They go directly to my heart. Thank you!
Thank you. In a perfect world people would act according to these principles.
Yes, Thank you . 💜 🙏🏼 😊
Yaaa
This seems to be true nd people have so many view about u
So realised that if some one hurts u without any reason it better to understand Almighty have a different path and just to grow, accept, respect, improve yourself and living true life for yourself because there is a lot of work you have to do on yourself.
Wishing them the best and accepting their viewpoint also because they were the ones who have healed u
Thank you Ashley I listen to you and I love you!!!!
Thank you lovely! I needed this . I can tell your such a good soul may god bless you , I love ur videos that make sense than other videos with millions of views
your videos are so good
Your videos have been inspirational Ashley. Thank you so much for all your amazing advice and help, you're amazing!
Thank you so much. I appreciate your comment
Thank You very much so inspiring videos!!! So good for heart!!
I really enjoy your video’s. I have reached many of the same conclusions but just listening to you reiterate them helps reinforce them all the more. Thank you.
I have tuned in to several of your videos and has helped me to change perspective, make some adjustments in different areas of my life. Your voice doesn't have that girly sound but that's what makes it unique. It's what caught my attention!!!. I'm still struggle with my voice however. I recently made a video for my church and for the first time, I didn't mind hearing myself
They need you, but you don't need them.
Thank you for these Gems Ashlee, they really are practically helpful.
I like your voice a lot, I am very glad I discovered your videos on yt, listening to some of them twice.
I was always the shy one in group never the leader and it bother me that I wasn't fought enough to be a leader, I always felt I needed to drink or smoke to impress, to have strength to speak up but the truth is that my leading skills were always better than the loud voices, I taught that I needed to be loud to be heard but it's this opposite,I have gave my power and energy too much over this year's and was left empty for a while but now has a mature adult I won't make the same mistakes and preserve my gifts
Your voice is very easy to listen to and I think benefits you more with what you do than a high pitched squeaky voice lol your voice and pace work great
at 9 minutes you talk about your voice AND EMBRACING IT... and that's awesome.
i only want to say that IF you haven't tried yet... try to talk with a speech therapist, a voice coach, a music person... start SINGING... opera... get really into the lower registers AND then see about the higher ones.
i watched a video about finding your 'natural voice' once... they mentioned using OH, AH and OM... feeling along your throat, sternum and stomach where it resonates... what feels 'natural'...
play with that...
there are people like you with a low voice and people with a high pitched 'little girl' voice.
and THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU....
BUT... always believe you are capable of changing it if you want... go to the mountains and SCREAM... like a little girl, baby! how's that feel?
peace!
I love your voice! Keep talking!!! You have amazing things to say! 😘
I love voices that have something unique about them, like yours. In the West they over value the high pitched voices . Here in middle East we love medium pitch . For men it is good to be deep , for women it is good to be soft and demure. But regardless of how everyone prefers the voices to be. Unique voices attract me the most.
I also want to say that I have been on the flip side of this. We say other people should change and our lives would be so much easier if someone wasn't so stubborn or so flakey - yes, we can always work on ourselves but I find when I can find that acceptance for another person, not just myself, and tell myself that's the way they are, I don't have to feel the need to want them to change. Imagine if someone is forcing you to do something that you don't want to do - we'd do the opposite. It's human nature. Someone is trying to get you to believe that you have a problem if you don't think you have it - which is my point, that I've felt very strongly about with my family growing up, proving no you can not make me do something I do not want to do, we all rebel because we're not going to be told. Because it bothers me how people give unsolicited advice and to then feel the need to take it out on you because you didn't listen. I think we all should respect people enough to make a choice and whatever they decide is a reflection of themselves because no you can not help a person who doesn't want to be helped. The more you do that, the more you will find that they are not reciprocal to you. Non judgemental advice helps and even if they ask you for it, and they end up doing the opposite do not take it personally because again, you can listen to these people but it's you, you, who makes that choice but it doesn't mean to say you can't gather information about before you make it
I am really enjoying your videos and find them so helpful. I’m leaving a toxic relationship and trying to put the focus on me. Learning who I am! What makes me tick? Thank you!
Love your videos , thank you very much !!!
thank you. you have a good foundation in recovery.
God created us all differently, let us celebrate our diversity.
We like your voice, your voice commends attention girl. 🌟
Fantastic! I love this!!!!
“Observe yourself “. My new saying. After wasting 10 years on FB I’m so over it. This video is right where I’m at now. Self love. I too hate my low voice. Lol. Your content is fantastic. Thanks for what you do.
Thank you for reaching out to me Andypandie! I love it! Observe Yourself~Are you getting off FB or minimizing your time on it?
Ashley Berges Currently taking time off till the fall. As of now I don’t miss it. I figure if I still feel this way in October, I’ll shut it down for good. I’ve been transitioning myself and I can’t stomach the NPD and politics. Lol!
Very awesome videos - thank you
Thank you só much for this video, your wise insights ànd your wonderful voice (it makes me feel "grounded" again... (not whirling around in my head, making me even feel móre disconnected with my (true) Self). Thank you very much for making me aware of the possibility.. to "live" my Life "from within" (I dó get easily influenced by other people só much.. and feel easily get distrought to "feel".. what it is..that "I need"(in my Life). It's often that (anxious) feeling of feeling disconnected with myself, that makes me..."loose (connection with) myself even further... "How does one "keep ground(ed)" in oneself?", is my other question again? (I often "talk" intense dialogues with myself.. I could write bóoks full with it... but do I? No. I don't even "dare to share" my inner thoughts or feelings (with others then a few,trusted friends), for I'm scared (to a symbolic death), that people might find me.."too highly sensitive". "Too emotional" ...too much "in your face". I'm not taught to "Open up&Share" (but stay true to myself as well), but to "Always Share" (and loose yourself with it as well... for I am Nothing but a piece of Dust in this Great World of Things. I love to contemplate a lot...but hardly dare to find contact or seek connection with (other likeminded) Spirits.. my Life feels isolated, disconnected and agonizing lonely..(even if I walk in the midst of crowds) All those (perfectly?) individual living lives..they haunt my Mind..so I hardly feel "motivated" to walk amongst them. I feel like a restless explorer, "trapped" in a worthless small life..(which I "created" myself..for at One Time..it was my saviour, to do so. Now that I'm wáy past my 40's... I still "feel" like that little child..not feeling able to "cope" with the overwhelming hustle and bustle of Life. (Therefor I "need" to keep my life plain..and simple..to maintain a certain space..to keep myself wondering about all of the things (and people) around me...) You talk about "having your talents"..I think I have many..but they are untrained (or at least.."I lost the skills"), and unfocused..and with no certain clear direction. (Seems I need a Lifecoach, innit??😂) I too "struggle" with a type of BPD (without the selfharming or anger outbursts) I tend to "disappear into my own Realm of thoughts"..(constantly insecure..to "harm" people around me with it...for they cannot "understand the immense emotional pains I can go through). Writing and other forms of Art soothes that (inner) Pain..but it doesn't make it go away. "My wisdom" (I guess?) is that (life's) Pain.. is nescessary in (one's) Life... in order to "get the whole Spectrum of (human) Life". (Can animals feel sad? Depressed? I believe a lot dó... for if I "observe" their behaviour..especially in (direct) contact with humans...I can almost "hear" them "speak"..(but others tell me: "that is the projection of your ówn thoughts and feelings..on thèm..). See..why I always get discentered from my own Core(feeling/"knowing"?) How.. can I stay True to my own Core? Not let ányone èver "tell" me ... "that I do not "see" clearly...? I would love to find more (inner)strength... to "smile" back and "think" : "Sure, honey. You...are the one who is not watching (clearly enough)..." To stay True to Oneself Insights and Wisdom... thát...is a true Challenge, I can say... Thank you for your video's. I'm planning to listen to more of them, I just subscribed to your channel. Kind greetings from a Rainy Town in the Netherlands. Keep up your Good Work! You are a Beautiful Woman!! Thank you for inspiring me!! 🌈✨💝✨
Thank you for reaching out FFLache4U I appreciate your message and taking time to reach out. How does one keep grounded in oneself/being true to oneself? This can be difficult when we try to maintain fitting in with others. I've found that I believe in stuff that some people never have thought. Your theory on animals I beleive is spot on. They can feel and they can hear telepathically to some level when we interact with them. I've done some studies of my own with dogs, both my own and other people's and they have their own thoughts and feelings. When we are able to realize every living thing has this it makes it more interesting and makes it extremely important the way we treat them.
You are an extremely thoughtful and a deep and caring person who could benefit from the help of a life coach to organize your thoughts and help with direction and clairty. The smarter and more thoughtful you are in this world the more difficult it can feel to assimilate and be yourself. If you go to my website, www.ashleyberges.com you will find a contact page, you can contact me from there if you'd like. In the mean time, realize you are not alone.
Your voice is great. Very authoritative. I have a deep voice too. I think it makes ppl pay attention.
Loved this !!!
This was amazing advice . Thank you !!!!!
Voice??? It is the first thing I noticed about you. Not for a dislike but for remembering. Yes, it's true, we are unique.
Thanks for a great video! I really like your content.
Very eye opening
Thank you very much
Gratitude...
I like your voice Ashley..The husky ,unique voice helped make Actress Lauren Bacall a star....
It takes time to build a following....share,share,share, to help build...
I am an empath. I met someone who after many many red flags began to do some"research" because I thought that I was going crazy, she from the knowledge I've gained is a Borderline, she is also histrionic, highly narcissistic, a sociopath my nerves are shot, my father is an narcissist (some women say a dog) my mother is control freak I think a covert also (if she were still able to hit me and prevent me from going out of the house I'm sure that she would) I wear my heart on my sleeve and very honest, and compassionate which has been used against me since the age of 7 which is when the mental and physical abuse began,,
What are you talking about. You got an Awesome Voice! A very mature, assertive, (dare I say seductive) sounding voice.
Ashley, I have your voice too and I have received (good & bad) both feedbacks too. It was and is hard for me.
Best voice ever
Thank you :) You are awesome Kris
👍👍👍👍
❤❤❤
Excellent to hear from you, how are you doing?
You can't change people. Just try to be a good person and lead by example.
I really like your voice, it's unique and very soothing and comforting. I like your intonation as well.. you rock! So glad I found your videos!
Thank you so much for your message love you
You can't turn a sows ear, into a silk purse. I met a man who told me everything I wanted to hear, mirrored me to a T.
Put a ring on my finger,6 weeks later started an affair, 18 mo. His x wife got ahold of me and it was a repeat scenario of their marriage. He now says he is ready to change. I wish him luck I wish him well, and wish him away... Love your videos. Your voice is distinct, in 62 and sound very young.. trade yea.
Correction" He does NOT NEED TO PROVE ANY KIND OF GOOD MANNERS TO His friends or business
Pattners present or future. No GRATITUDE for anything from him.
What?
Maybe this is just me as an autistic speaking, but I want to ping off of one thing that was mentioned:
Is "better" necessary? For that matter, is happiness necessary? Yes, it's nice to have, but it's not impossible to survive without either of them.
I feel like as an HFA, we can have one or the other, but never both: we can either be happy or be authentic. And I'd bet a lot of us would choose to be authentic.
Also Ashley, thank you for the non accusation of your a bad person if? Geeze... love you for not putting anyone down and rising above the “bubble world” I call it where if you’re not like me? You’re wrong and need help!? Wow!! Thank you for rising above what our brains are portraying us to be and live. Even when I don’t get a voice!! Fuck! Not upper scale crazy!? Lol😳😒✌🏻❤️😊
And I made up this quote there's perfection in the unperfection - not a lot of people realise this.
I think I'm in love
FYI, Your voice is missing a vocal fry, and this is great!
Too much vocal fry going around these days.
Thank you for the inspiring video. And thank you for sharing about your voice. If you ask me, I would say you have a beautiful voice. Plus, lower pitches are more soothing than higher pitches. Therefore your voice is perfect for helping people be more zen and at peace with one's self. So thank you. ♥️
8:30 I only stayed originally because of her voice in the first few minutes! I would have missed so much if she´d had some girly voice...I have, and no one ever listenes to me haha
Surely you can change their attitude towards YOU?
You have a sultry women’s voice a voice I could listen to for hours not a girly silly voice I would never listen to.