43 childfree and happeeeeeeeeeee. Don't regret a single minute. Love the sleeping in, travelling, financial freedom and not being bound to school holidays only. Oh gosh, I think I'm gonna take a nap..
I know someone who had a kid recently and I asked her how’s the parent life and she said it’s really hard and she also told me not to have kids. Kids are hard.
@@happyandauthentic I wanted children ever since I can remember but when I was 20 I had a friend that had a baby and I helped through the first year. I did it because I wanted children. Looking back I think I was looking for love (I know now that a reason to have kids) and slowly that "need" faded away. I am now 31 and terribly wishing I had more time because I like my life as it is. My partner is younger so I still have soms time to think but of course clock is ticking. I keep asking myself "if I do it is because I really want to or because this is what I have been told to do my whole life and afraid I'll regret it in the future?" F.O.M.O sounds ridiculous but it's true...
I’d say try fostering. That will give you a chance to try out raising kids without as much responsibility. If you aren’t ready for troubled or special needs kids then you aren’t ready for any kids period. I’d say that’s a great place to start.
My wife and I are in our mid 30's and never wanted kids. We've been married for over 12yrs and after seeing the stuff parents have to put up with makes us so incredibly grateful we don't/won't have kids.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 as someone who suffers from major depression, social anxiety, PTSD, paranoia, ADHD, and the idea of my body turning on me even more. I'm also irresponsible and my future career cannot be achieved while pregnant or with a child. I can't stand loud noises or being around loud people. I like being able to do my hobbies, enjoy my life and doing things my way instead of having to work around some stupid potato. The minute I turn 21 I am getting my tubes removed, my periods are naturally heavy and unpredictable and my cramps are extremely painful and required that I carry pills with me before I started on birth control to get rid of my period.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 there are too many negatives. And many children end up as murderers, druggies, drunk drivers, being cruel to animals, destroying our environment etc. It really is not worth it.
@@beaulieuc8910 Then it's up to the parents to invest time and energy to shape them, guide them, teach them morals, my son is 16, never smoked, doesn't drink, rarely cusses in the house, does not get into trouble with the police.
Same.. I thought I was supposed to have kids after I got married. I was never on birth control, was married for 7 years and I never came out pregnant. I wasn't trying either. I either can't have children, it wasn't meant to be, or both. But I'm SO glad I never had kids cuz I never really liked them nor ever had that craving of wanting to be a mother. I'm 41 now, children free and HAPPY 😍😍
I knew at young age I didn’t want be a mom. Raising a child is so expensive some people don’t think about it and pop out a baby. Being pregnant doesn’t sound pleasant to me. I do have a disability can pass it on. It’s of my one reasons I choice to be childfree. I’m a dog person rather adopt two dog and be married someday.
Seems like every woman who dont want children gets a dog instead.. so much for the `I wanna sleep long` or `I can do whatever I want`..no you cant, you have a dog.
I’m disabled too. I can only barely take care of myself and need a carer for some things so, having a child would just be a massive burden on everyone around me. My disability could be passed on, but I also carry the genes for a bunch of nasty mental health issues including schizophrenia and bipolar, and I wouldn’t visit that on a child. I prefer animals. My birds are my children!
I have had a child but absolutely respect people who chose to be child-free. For me the biggest shock has not been how expensive having a child is in fact even with not being financially very well off thats made its way to the bottom of the pile. It’s the loss of freedom, sleep etc the cost in terms of energy physically and mentally and putting yourself last, the constant worrying etc i could go on 😅
Yes, the lost of freedom is one of the many reasons I am childfree. I love to be able to do what I want, when I want well within Covid rules of course. And if you leave the kid home alone, the social services come over... no, I am not having that stress.
@@beaulieuc8910 right?? I am currently in bed just enjoying being on my phone, watching RUclips videos, reading comments, AC on and RELAXING. Nobody to bug me, throwing tantrums, crying or screaming 😌
Hi, I'm also a school teacher in Colombia and I enjoy my time with children but as you said I want to go back home and take a rest without any responsibility with children so I decided not to have children. To be parents is okay but freedom is much better. That's my opinion. (Sorry for my english)
No need to apologize. Your English is perfect. :) It sounds like you’re a very good teacher because you care about the kids so much you don’t want to jeopardize your patience to guide them by adding more kids at home.
I have raised the same points to people. People still look at me like I'm crazy. I don't really care. I'm 43. No natural children. Only adoption. No regrets!
I just turned 60. I have never had the desire to have my own children. It was the best decision to not bring a child into this world. Life has been very full, tho. Other people's kids and my animal family have gotten my love and care. Not selfish, but mature.
Some of the most happiest women on earth are those who are single and childless or childfree and I happen to be both a single woman and without any children at the age of 41.
I'm 60, single & child free. I have 4 cats & 1 dog. I don't bother dating anymore. Men, my age aren't child free. I'm happy to stay single, forever, rather than tolerate a man, with kids. I tried dating a divorced father, 20 years ago. (Never again !). I have child free friends. I'm very happy being childfree.
haha I'm a mom and I get it:) They do learn to clean up after themselves and they even help me with cooking. But no one who doesn't really want kids should ever have them. I'm happy for anyone who knows what they want and don't want in life.
Actually a lot of guys do feel like their decisions are being judged as well as I see men who talk about their experiences. It's just that women are more harshly judged on their choices. 30 and childfree. I can't imagine having my life permanently impacted with a child I don't want. I don't want to lose my sleep or my solitude. I'm extremely introverted and I need alone time significantly especially after work (when I used to work) and I'd come back home grumpy whenever I was nagged after step-in into my threshold and I only live with family members. I get angry when I can't be alone, doing my hobbies and being able to sleep. I don't handle loud noises and temper tantrums well from children. I also like spending time with my boyfriend. I don't want the child to be competing with him for attention, nor do I want to sacrifice adult time or feel trapped in my own home. I know for a fact I'd be extremely resentful if I had children and I would not make a good parent at all which is why I opt out of having them. I don't care if that makes me "selfish" for some but I am also responsible and empathetic towards children and the planet for not having them.
The crazy thing is whenever I see people with kids they're always complaining about something regarding parenting. Whether it be not being able to go out, not getting a good night's sleep, all the things they have to buy or just being overwhelmed in general. And don't get me started on the ones that jump at any opportunity to pawn their kids off on someone else for a night. But then will be confused as to why I don't want children. Like dude, you don't exactly make it sound like a picnic.
Haha, all true. Misery loves company! I however, love loneliness in my hot tub far from misery making parents, which is why I lock the gate at night and never agree to babysit. 😂
With respect, pets are a poor substitute for children. If child free people have pets it tells me they are missing something as they are focusing their attention on another life. An animal can show love through affection but there is nothing more awesome than a child saying "I love you mom' Like a mission accomplished, this is why children are actually rewarding, and not just a nuisance, or a pain in the neck. They are in fact, a blessing.
I'm 35 and have a health condition but my husband and I are actually content now with the fact that we won't have kids. I like videos like this to know we are not alone.
I’m glad you and your husband are content with your situation and that my video could help you feel less alone. Your comment does the same for others, so thank you for sharing. :)
I'm 27 and been married for 1 year now and opt to be child-free... I and my husband simply don't care about what people might think about our choice. Our life, our rule...Aha! xoxo
I knew when I was young, that I didn't want to be a mom. I'm now 55 and have 0 regrets that I never had a child. I like my freedom to much. I'm getting together with friends at the end of the month for a concert. When I got the tickets, I didnt have to worry about if I could afford it or if my kid needed something for school. And when I go to the concert, I don't have to worry about getting a baby sitter. I'm off work tomorrow and I'm sleeping in late and going for a first day hike. I just can't honestly think of a reason to have them. And I recently had a very long discussion with my nephew about being childfree since he has decided that he doesn't want them.
Financial reasons are just one type of reason. Time is more precious than finances. If a person has no time enough to properly take care of oneself after work, then do chores, cleaning, budgeting and have proper rest and quality 8 hour sleep and barely make it for next day to work - add another person (disabled for the first few years) - and you'll screw up your schedule, and thereby screw up your health. If you have bunch of extra time left (like 8 extra free hours) every day after work,then after cooking and cleaning at home, then resting, and then still have time to sleep full 8 hours AND if you have a positive net worth at the end of every month big enough to support two adult quality lives for the next 18+ years AND if you have stable living place , then it's ok to just make ONE baby and still under one more condition - you have to want it. I treasure QUALITY of life over QUANTITY of lives. It's just a matter of quality over quantity, and the only people who think like that are the ones who live their lives consciously.
There's never been a choice for me to have kids. I just never had the urge for my own children. Now that's not saying I hate kids. I actually LOVE children/teens and have TONS of patience for kids. But the urge and desire has never clicked in my head to reproduce. I never got hit with baby fever and I'm 37. I have lots of people assume I have kids and there's always that surprised Pikachu face when discovering me and my husband don't want any. Then the second surprise comes up when they say we'll change our mind later and ask how long we been married. 18 years. At that point, I see their expressions just trying to come with another comeback, but they can't handle it. I just never had the urge for having any of my own.
Great video. From a male perspective it's interesting how many of my male relatives, friends and co workers feel so open about not wanting kids. But their female counterparts are vilified, humiliated, described as crazy or selfish by everyone especially other females if they openly confess to not wanting kids. We really have to change that ignorant mindset within our culture. Watching from London UK.
It’s quite disappointing to hear how people treat each other even during these supposedly enlightened times. My only hope is that things are improving slowly but surely.
I'm in my mid 20's, the youngest of 4 girls and after my older sisters had their kids in their teens as young as 13, I don't want kids. I have a plan for myself after college and I don't want to mess it up for myself and give up my dreams. Nobody has the right to judge our own decisions. Agree with this video!
At 54 I am finally past the point of people asking me if i am going to have kids now they just ask if i have any and seemed shocked when i say no and then ask "why not" which is uncomfortable. Sometimes i say because i have mental health issues in my family and sometimes i say because i never wanted any which seems to offend them and sometimes if i am feeling mean i would say because i cant have any which would make them feel bad for asking in the first place 🤣 Having kids does not necessarily make you feel less lonely in these days when everyone lives their life on social media and cant be bothered to pick up the phone and actually communicate!
Cyndi, I love your answer! Haha I wonder what their responses are when you tell them you can’t have any. When people are being obnoxious, I can understand the impulse to be a little mean like that. :p
I wouldn't worry about offending anyone, especially if they have the nerve to ask "why not?" "I didn't want any" is all the explanation anyone is owed.
I think you can still be lonely if you have kids, they grow up move far away and even have nothing or little in common with them. I like to have friendships outside social media, though not that many but that is enough for me. I have lots of hobbies so I meet people that way of all ages
@@beaulieuc8910 Ohhh I agree! I have so many relations and friends whos kids do not give them the time of day. Wont answer the phone but will only text or will call only if they want something. So sad!
I am finding a growing number of people agree with you! And as others mentioned, the financial freedom, traveling, emotional freedom, and all the reasons you stated, can make a difference! I know I will find the right person out there that meets that view, too. Your video gives us all hope!
Happy & Authentic Thank you! I find that like attracts like! Just knowing that I don’t have to sacrifice my values is helpful in seeking the same. While I enjoyed dating single moms, I could tell there was a phony feeling inside that I ignored. I will not ignore it anymore! There will only be one mouth to feed-hers! If she has a job, she can help with groceries’
Sacrificing your values for another can lead to some serious relationship problems and also mental personal health issues, if not addressed. I’m glad you realized you can have the things you feel you need the most. Best of luck!
I’ve just turned 30, single, and not sure if I want kids myself or if that’s just what I’ve always assumed I would do and what’s been expected of me. The thought of pregnancy makes me feel extremely anxious and terrified, I’ve had nightmares about it for years, and I very rarely feel maternal toward children - I usually don’t want to hold other people’s babies or get excited around kids. I’m ok when I’m around them but I don’t seek it out. I’m not even sure I want to get married at this point either - I think that being single basically my whole life has gotten me too used to my own company. Maybe if I met the ‘right person’ my thoughts on both things will change, but it seems like in this day and age I really have to put my back out to meet someone and I feel like it’s just trying way too hard when it shouldn’t be (dating apps are not the same as meeting people out in the wild). I’ve just been thinking about all this a lot lately.
I really feel for you, AngelSamBooks. It’s such a blessing to have an opportunity to think about these desires for yourself and really tailor your decisions to your own lifestyle and what feels comfortable. I wish you the best of luck.
I've spent most of my life neglecting myself because of mental health reasons. Now I'm 32 and barely getting better, I really feel I begin to live a life worth living, so honestly I do want to enjoy the rest of it taking care of myself. Guilt free! Free at last! Among other reasons indeed, the most important being that I just don't feel like having kid(s). Sending love to all of you! 💕
Thank you for bringing that topic up. I don't ever want childern regardless of what other people think or say. I generally don't like children and i don't feel comfortable being around them. I started disliking children even more because the new RUclips policy that's happening from the FTC Coppa (Children's Online Privacy Protection Action) law is going to be problematic for alot of adults on RUclips for the sake of the children. The whole life cycle thing of living things being born to procreate to past on their genes to next generation and die is so lame to me. I much rather be single forever than ever have a girlfriend who even in the slightest eventually wants kids. It seems that every biological fact about the female body such as females having more body fat than males, females naturally being more flexible than males, females mature faster than males, females having stronger lower body strength than males , and females having a higher tolerance for pain than males is all for childbearing and preparing for motherhood. It sucks that a lot of couples are too stubborn to realize the consequences of the planet being so overpopulated by keep making them babies and since the Earth's population is it going to continue to grow then Humanity better become a multi Planet species before 30 years despite the difficulties of finding a planet that's habitable for us humans to inhabit without the need for space suits.
You talked a lot of deep stuff in having kids which I don't get why parents never talk about. Parents seems only talks about how happy they are having the kid but ignoring all the issues. I just don't get it. I guess people thinks having kids is the norm and everyone have to do it and that's just nuts.
Once we make a choice that life changing it makes sense that we’d find reasons to excuse and explain why it was a good decision. No one wants to admit they may have messed up. So it’s important to bring these issues up before having children, so people can make an informed decision. And not just hear a one sided argument from people who are trying to convince themselves and others that they made the right choice.
I think these things don't get talked about because they just don't come up or we don't stop to think about it. We just think, oh I'm grown up, married.. time to have kids! .. also we have more access to the internet so we get to see videos like these and a little light bulb 💡 turns on and we're like.. oh yes, this and that happens when we have kids ..
I never wanted kids. I gave my parents plenty warning, and at this point they would be shocked if I changed my mind. Instead, I want own a lot of animals, read a ton of books, and become an author. This world does not need me to have babies, its fine that others do. One things that is dumb is people tell me I'm selfish. Like they say I will die alone and when I'm old and need help, no one will be there. But then I clap back with, well isn't it selfish to have a child to only have them take care of me when I'm old? That is if they even want to be with me anyway. Plus, when I'm old, I'm going take care of myself and live in this world independently and with spirit. I am not going to go through the horror (as an asexual with sex repulsion) of having sex, getting pregnant, then through the trauma of birth, to then have a small human scream and through fits, just because someone else told me "I have to have a baby". Nope! I'm good! Having children is not for everyone, and it's fine if you do or don't want kids. People need to just be themselves. :)
I’m repulsed by sex too. I can if I really want to, but I find it a very uncomfortable and invasive activity. I prefer not to bother. There’s probably a word for that lol! The idea of pregnancy makes me physically sick. I’d rather cut off my own limb than give birth. When you feel like that it’s just better to avoid the whole messy process lol!
The one thing that bugs me is when people mention the whole, who's going to take care of you when you're old? Well guess what? Many kids aren't even around their parents when they're old. How many old people are living alone and are lonely? Their kids don't even come around. So yeah, good luck with that gamble..
I am 63 and have 3 children and 2 Grandchildren and one on the way. Having children is wonderful to me but exhausting too. I never expect them to take care of me. Great for you. I think Childfree adults should be happy with their choice. You have one life and are able to make you own choices.
It sounds like you chose correctly for yourself. It’s great when people can see what is good for them and make decisions based on that rather than doing things just because others tell them to.
Being childfree, I will never be a grandmother, but I want to focus on my own interests, and I need that time for myself.I would be too busy to spend time with lots of grandchildren.
Why do all these mothers start off with the financial burden of children 😩 makes us all seem selfish. Many of us can in fact afford a child but have many deeper reasons why we don’t want one.
Its interesting that many don't even consider these things before having children. I have always been one to over analyse things so when I seriously thought about having kids every single one of your points came to my mind. we must think alike :) I too am also a vegan. I have talked about these points with my husband and at this point have both decided to not have children. I am 34 and my husband 38. We don't want our relationship to change or be strained by having them and also we love travelling. we want to pay off the mortgage before we are 50 and without having children this is completely achievable. thanks for sharing its nice to know others out there think like this too. I am never apologetic or guilty about sharing my truth about not wanting to have kids. There is nothing wrong with making that choice. Whats weird is that 3 different strangers who are supposed mediums/claivoyants have told me without me asking that I am to have twins??!! so who knows what my future holds.
Thanks for sharing your decisions and thoughts, Louise. How lovely it is to see that others think similarly (and that you’re also vegan)! I’m so curious whether you’ll end up with twins anyway now. Maybe adoption? ;) haha
I decided when I was a kid, that I never wanted to have kids. My reasoning was, I didnt want to bring someone into a world where they would just have to die one day anyway. I'm 53 now. In my life I have had unprotected sex, and was on the pill for a few years. Never got pregnant (thank God) .. got lucky I guess.
Certainly sounds like you got lucky, Sunday. I’m glad you did though. When you don’t want kids, they’re not as much of a blessing as when you do want them.
People around throw me pathetic looks when they know i m single,unmarried and childless. (They think i'm weird) I saw how my parents(immature,financially unstable)struggle with raising a family. Lesson learnt, Don't repeat. My mom used to babysit alot of babies,toddlers to supplement income. We the children helped took care of many babies and toddlers. Now i am all grown up,i just wanna make up lost time not bother anyone and just enjoy my solitude. I m 42,never regretted not getting married and having children.
I had one daughter when I was 17. Her father and I got married and a few years down the track, we tried for a second child. Due to severe health complications, it didn’t end well. We had the choice to pursue IVF, but after a long time, we chose not to. I am now a grandmother. The doctors told me that my daughter was a miracle, by all means, I should have never conceived her. I am at peace with my decision. I returned to the workforce and raised one daughter. Many people questioned our decision but we stuck to it.
Happy & Authentic thank you. Your recent explanation of why conceiving babies was not your personal choice inspired me to tell my story. When the Creator decided that one copy of me was enough, He reassured me that I had a distinct purpose. I never realised that while I was mothering a toddler, I could be infertile as well. My ex husband was crucial. With IVF, we required a blood and sperm donor to avoid complications, We both agreed that if he couldn’t have his natural offspring, there was no point. He proudly boasts about one daughter, even though he remarried. So did I. We have, currently, one beautiful and strong granddaughter. If the Creator blesses them with more than one child, I will be elated. My bloodline lives on. My immediate siblings NEVER had children. The answer to my father wanting offspring is reflected in the miracle that only ONE of his children had descendants. His full DNA, blood and life have reflected in my offspring; plus a Christian dedication. Ps: Dad was an atheist, he was a Freemason and blamed God for his favourite younger sister passing away, as a side note.
I am a mother of 2 daughters. Thats all i wanted . I can say i don't regret mine. I don't try to tell other women that they need a kid. My best friend is child free. Its ok either way. I think it comes down to . Both parents and childfree should respect one anothers decision. It doesn't ruin your life or finances to have kids . It doesn't ruin your life if you don't have kids. I will respect you as child free if you respect me as a mother. Simple as that.
It sounds like you put some serious thought into that decision. You should be proud of that, Sergio. I’m sure you and your girlfriend are very happy with your life together regardless of whether or not you have children. ^_^ Thanks for sharing!
35yo guy here. For as long as I can remember I’ve been told I’ll want kids eventually. Hmmmmm no, I don’t and never will but why am I looked at like a monster for not wanting any. Yes we are consuming natural resources at a discussing rate. A rate that we can’t keep up with and there’s people out there have 3+ kids on purpose.
It’s important to remember that a lot of people - in fact, the majority of people - out there don’t think for themselves. They base their opinions and decisions on tradition and what’s going on around them. You’re one of the few that considers the facts before acting and that’s admirable.
Happy & Authentic thank u. I just wish I could find a woman with similar feelings. It’s harder then I thought out there. When my ex left (because of my lack of wanting children)she said “have fun being alone forever”. Nice rite? I’d rather be alone at that point
I don't think it's much of a world to bring kids into anyway, an over-burdened planet in so many ways. Even right now millenials in my country struggle to buy a home. Imagine what it will be like in the future..
No wonder women say men never really grow up, well, who can actually blame you? When 5he child is born you have to settle for second best as the child has to come first no matter what you do, they are totally top priority, your needs come last, your life virtually don't exist anymore, so parenting is not for people who are not prepared to make that sacrifice, vanulty is also an issue, you do lose that figure as well as your freedom. Parenting also ages you, I know all this from experience. Your sex life is almost completely non existence, not only soon after the child is born, but when the child is older. Our son would not sleep on his own for a few years, his mother and ai ended up in separate beds, now he is 16, still at home, his room is next to ours so we do not risk him hearing us, after a time you lose Interest after not doing it so long, so yes, if you have a high sex drive, children is not for you, these are only just the negative sides to parenting that child free people sadly think about, there is also most certainly a positive side. It really does get better with the right way of raising them. If you put the time and energy in.
Choice and Respect. I think that is what this issue comes down to for me. I agree with you on the population issue, however that being said it still comes down to personal choice and respect on others choice. I am 42 years old and decided when I was a teenager not to have children. I don’t know if there was one pressing reason why. I don’t dislike children or any one reason you mentioned. I just don’t have that pressing desire in me that a lot of people do to procreate. I have met a few people in my life that have that need that haven’t been able to have children and I feel so badly for them. I know someone now that has been trying to get pregnant for years and has been unable. She wants to have a child of her own. For some reason adoption isn’t the same for her. It is something innate in her, this need to have a child. I just don’t have that need to have a child or even raise a child. I think those that do - good for you. But I also feel the respect part is so important. I remember when I was in my 20’s and 30’s people telling me “you’ll change your mind,” as if I didn’t know my own mind. I wouldn’t do that to someone. And now it’s another form now that I’m in my 40’s. Just a few weeks ago someone told me “you don’t know what it’s like since you don’t have children”. So for me it comes down to those two things - Choice and respect.
I can relate to those patronizing questions a LOT Except it includes the fact that I'm a lesbian, my mom keeps treating it like a bad habit I'll eventually grow out of so I can pop out more grandchildren for her. It's been 8 years mother, I'm pretty sure it's not a habit lol
Ah yes, the “bad habit” of being attracted to women. Nasty habit that one. Haha I know many straight men that suffer from it. My husband’s one of them. Perhaps he can give you advice on how to break it. Lol In all seriousness though, I’m sorry your mother sees it that way. I hope you can get through to her at some point.
35 and childfree! Never had any regrets. I have a disability and a bunch of health issues. Also there is schizophrenia and bipolar and a bunch of other mental health stuff in our family. We even have a couple of low scoring psychopaths. I would NEVER risk passing any of that on to kids, so if I ever change my mind, (which I doubt I will) I will try to adopt or foster. I believe in taking care of the kids already on the planet before we make any more. Also I prefer animals and if I’m honest, I don’t like kids. They annoy me. Hence why I don’t think I’ll ever change my mind. I feel it’s better to know your limits and not reproduce if you don’t 100% desperately want to be a parent. And I don’t. I’d rather rescue unwanted parrots.
I’m sorry to hear about your genetic challenges. I’d like to congratulate you on having the self awareness to decide not to pass those challenges on to a child. I agree that adopting would have such a bigger positive effect. As does rescuing animals. ^_^
I love and enjoy my current title Auntie i have two handsome nephews. People look at me like i have 4 heads when I say i don't have children and I don't want children. My brother is the youngest and he looks older than me. Thank you for making this video
Thanks for this video. Me having mental health issues is really a valid reason to not have children.Why even go through the process and possibly pass along your issues to a innocent person. Student debt also isn't helping either. Lets not forget the process of being pregnant and a black woman in this sick care system. I'm good. Not every experience is for everyone
That’s something we all need to accept and come to terms with: that not all of us will get to experience everything everyone else does. And that’s okay!
Im 36 and child free. I absolutely love the children in ny life (my nieces, nephews, little cousins and the kids I train) and kids in general. I am VERY protective around children and I do enjoy the energy of children. With that said, I DO NOT want children of my own and I appreciate and I am grateful not to handle that responsibility. Theres times where I think of being a parent and it seems cool but I just do NOT have a burning desire or deep passion to want to be a father/parent. I enjoy my freedom to do the things I enjoy without much sacrifice. And I also don't really have the ideal financial situation and establishments (That I hold myself to) to want to even have children.
I deeply respect your decision to not have kids. It's lovely to hear that you love children and respect/care for the kids in your life without necessarily wanting your own. Often people tend to think that those who don't want kids hate them, when that couldn't be farther from the truth for most of us. Thanks for sharing your experience and opinion. ^_^
I’m 30 , I’m married and I don’t want to have kids... how do you handle the judgement ... honestly sometimes I feel guilty because I know my husbands mom wants grandchildren... but i won’t change my mind ... but i do feel really guilty .
I’m sorry to hear you feel judged, Carolina. Has that sentiment been verbally expressed to you by your mother in law or do you feel guilty because you think she might be resenting you? I personally handle it by having those conversations openly and being honest about how I feel. I stick to “I feel...because I need” statements, because that way there is nothing for them to argue against. An example would be “I feel anxious when you tell me you want grandchildren, because I need the security of your approval.” That usually sparks an honest dialogue rather than defensive arguments. I wish you the best of luck.
Dies your husband want children? If not then you shouldn't feel guilty about not giving her grandchildren if her own son is not willing to give her grandchildren.
I'm 39 years old, single/unmarried and childfree all by choice. I have a bunch of reasons why I choose not to have children but I will only share my top 3 reasons.... 1. Children are too expensive. 2. Parenthood is a lot of responsibility. 3. I don't wanna bring a child into this disgusting world. Being single/unmarried and childfree was the the best favour I have done for the government and law. Best decision I have made for myself and I have zero regrets.
I'm only 25. However, I'm in a loop about having children. My biggest worry is passing down health issues and regretting my decision once they are here. I'm afraid to say "I'll never have children" because accidents happen. Unless my future husband decides to get snipped.
I think your worries are valid, as is your caution with the words you speak, Stephanie. There is no need to make a decision now for the future. If things change, accept that and flow with it. Take this time to feel how you feel and get to know your true needs and desires.
All of this! My fiancé and I are now constantly dealing with family and friends asking “when are you having kids” even though I’ve told them I don’t want any and have known this since I was young. My family doesn’t understand and either tells me I will change my mind or that I’m making a terrible choice. It’s so annoying. It’s so rude to even ask IMO. It’s like asking someone about their sex life or medical problems. It’s invasive and shouldn’t be a normal point of conversation.
Thanks for this content. It clear and logical, and helped me a lot to explain my choices to others. I'm 32 and since I was a child, I know I didn't want to have a child of my own. My past is complicated and really dramatic. Have been raised by an alcoholic shisophrenic father that never wanted to have any kids. And now when I'm on my path to self actualisation I'm trying to clear every topic aqnd trauma in my head by working through it. This video made me feel a little understaning to my father. He never wanted kids, he was not happy, and couldn't escape from this.
I feel all that you've said. I have one child and I am glad I had him, love him with all my heart but I knew immediately into parenting that I had no interest in giving him a sibling. It may sound horrible but when he grows up I'm done done, I will, of course, still be his amazing mom but when the holidays and homework and major responsibility are over I won't miss it. My son is 13 and people ask crazy things like "Give him a sibling, he's 13"...Exactly, fool, he is 13, hell do I like starting over?! He is my baby, my pal and I've enjoyed watching all that I've loved and cultivated blossom but I don't need to try again. When I'm 40, he will be 20 and I will be without having to worry worry about him.Also, I find folks that have more that 2 bored, lol, hell are you trying to prove? I guess, try for a boy and girl or give kid a companion and after that that's enough...oooooooooor, if I never had my little mistake I would not have ever consciously conceived.
I completely understand your position, Delores. It sounds like you’re very firm on your decision. I’m glad you feel certain. You must be a lovely parent to your son.
I'm 56 and not a mother. I had a hysterectomy in 2007 after fibroids. I have no regrets whatsoever because of what you're saying. No one should ever question a woman's right not to have kids.
I'm so happy to hear that you have never regretted your decision. I don't understand why women are treated as though they themselves are children whose decisions can't be taken seriously. Strange, isn't it?
Awesome video 💯 You have explained everything regarding this topic perfectly & smoothly 👏🏻 Also, I liked how you ended it with "don't judge others" 👍🏻 Have a great week💕😊
Thank you for making this video and going through all these details... ALL the details. People say your selfish, but they never think of a persons background or even try to understand why a person made the choice to not have children. We all have to do what is the best of all scenarios and parties involved.
OMG...everyone said/s " to me you will understand when you have children"..."NO! " I say " I understand what it is like to have children, that's why I don't want nor have them." I think a large proportion of people who chose to have children don't really know what it is like to have children, until they do... I was lucky I guess, my mother had my brother when I was 14yo, I saw what it really meant to have children. Decided then that children were not for me. Then I became even luckier and found out that I am unable to have children. I cheered when I found out. Doctor was very concerned with my reaction and asked if I needed counselling. I laughed and said no do you? This is the best thing that could have happened to me. Makes me frustrated when people don't understand that not being able to have children is the best thing that has ever happened to my husband and me. I have friends and other family members that don't want children and they can't get an operation to stop having children because they are women. Grrr, the injustice of it, do people think that they have not thought about it, especially if you have to go against societies norms. Luckly childless and loving it!!!
I have heard quite a few moms be wistful about their childfree days. I dont think every mom is like that..but i think alot more people have had kids because they don't realize that they have the option not too.
I'm a 29 yr old man soon to be 30 and I don't want kids at all because I have a visually impairment disability ( as an infant to adulthood) I am currently in the transitioning of going back to class for a business degree and starting a business. I don't want kids period, just want to be me and my spouse for the rest of our lives.
Sounds like you’ve really thought this through and have excellent reasons to avoid having children. I wish you the best of luck with your business, Dre!
I consider this decision a very mature and responsible one. Mental health issues amongst children are at an all-time high nowadays (with Covid adding fuel to the fire). There are obviously A LOT of people out there doing a shitty job when it comes to parenthood. Financial stability is definitely important but by no means enough to raise someone with a decent personality. So many humans never got their childhood trauma worked out and merely pass it down to their offspring. Moreover, the Ukrainian war shows how volatile our economic system really is (I'm German, petrol and gas/energy prices have been shooting through the roof since the war started) and how much we depend on certain agreements...until they're not agreed upon any more. Not exactly my idea of an environment I wanted a child to live in. I'm 36 now and realized years ago that I'm simply not interested in raising a child. I prefer to invest in myself. Already lost so much time due to mental health issues, I'm not willing to sacrifice any more of it to something I don't personally deem important.
Well said, L W! When the world is going through a cycle of change like it is right now, raising a child adds a lot of uncertainty. Those little humans grow up with more issues than most. It’s probably best us adults handle the situation as best we can before bringing someone new into it. Let’s at least bring them into a world of less war and environmental/financial collapse.
Point no 2 is my reason not to have kids. I have an hereditary mental disorder and sometimes I can't even take care of my self, let alone a child. I think it would be selfish of me to pass it on someone else.
i am so glad I watched this video to reassure myself that my decision to be childfree is satisfying and seems like a blessing. hey, can you please help out in finding a partner who too wants to go childfree?
Sounds like I should start a dating app just for people who don’t want kids. Haha Come to think of it, I’m sure there’s like a million of those out there already. I sure wish I had used one the first few times I found a partner.
Love your energie, your honesty, straight forwardness, you are a good person, you shine and are confident. I am 29 and worried about my desicion, like I feel that I dont want kids but maybe that will be the biggest misstake of my life. In this video you uplift all women stressing over to have or not to have kids. I feel relaxed thanx to you, you are great at what you do
Jasmine, your words were such a joy to receive. Thank you for sharing them with me. I’m honored to have helped you gain a sense of clarity in your decisions. ^_^
63M, lifelong childfree, retired and loving it (though the COVID thing has some travel plans on hold) A few predicted that life would be lonely and unfulfilled without grandchildren but nothing is further from the truth. Your points pretty much covered it. The loss of intimacy between couples after they have a child is one big thing that turned me off and the fact that life is all about the kids and revolves around them, well--no thanks. I can remember at least a half dozen of my classmates were already divorced by age 25 and kid related issues (& the lack of money due to that) were a huge part of it. They got into something that they weren't ready for.
What is your social life like now? Do you mix with people of all ages. I am 55 and already I am planning on how to improve my social life. I think as we get older, we lose friends and relatives, even our partners and I need to plan for when that happens particularly as I live in a rural area. I don't really want to be in a over 80 club when I get older as I like having mixed groups round me both women and men.
@@beaulieuc8910 Me and the lady are largely introverts and don't do much socializing and we both left the big city long ago and don't miss it. Most of my family is dead and hers are spread way out ranging from Arizona to Vermont (we're in the midwest) Right now we're not really concerned about what the surviving partner will do if one of us dies. Living life day by day and being happy.
I’m 23 and told my mom I didn’t want kids in fifth grade. She told me I’d change my mind but I still don’t want them. Too damn expensive and I just don’t want them
No kids = more money for myself, more freedom, less heartache and generally more fun. Kid = expensive, less money for yourself, less freedom, more heartache, and generally less fun. I will take the first option coz its a no brainer!
I’m a 28 year old single man, no wife no kids. I would like to get married but not really sure about having kids. I honestly don’t know if I see myself as a father. I don’t have the means to support a child to begin with. I like my free and easy lifestyle. When I get married I want my wife and I to be one of those couples where we travel and go wherever we want whenever we want. I’m more focused on putting my life together and growing as a person.
The other factor is if you can mentally handle it. Mentally I already know I can’t do it since I’m already going through a lot of anxiety and depression and I’m thankful that I have a way of dealing with it through Djing and producing music which I’m thankful for everyday of my life and I cannot complain.🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
Ye, I’m autistic, have adhd and Ocd, am single with no kids even though I’m middle-aged. I have to have people to look after me, like home helps, and I have trustees who my father appointed before he passed. I like kids, but I can’t hold a job, and have problems making decisions, so kids would be out of the window. I’m pretty sure my mum had some disorder, there seems to be cases of it in the family. I still have issues over my childhood. Although it was a reasonable childhood and I always had a good standard of living. I wasn’t battered literally, but one or two things were out of place. I remember doctors, and other officials being involved occasionally, because she couldn’t cope and didn’t know how to handle things. She never did ever ‘get things’. I forgive her because that’s just the way she was. But she did say she was never mad keen on the idea of kids and it was my dads idea to have children. They could only have me, & I was born late to them. I used to get upset at this comment - but now I understand, I’ve come across so many unhappy scenarios of adults and children. Maybe she knew her own limitations, & was raised by a father who couldn’t stand kids. These things can also be genetic as well. Genetics often dictate our attitudes and choices. And not everyone is cut out to be a parent, or carer of children. In the past this wasn’t recognised, but it is now
Thank you so much for adding your voice to the mix. It’s wonderful to have this kind of representation so others can see your story and know they’re not alone. I appreciate that you gave this so much thought.
29 and childfree here! I just do not want to have kids! I know i won't be putting them first. I grew up in a mentally abusive household, always compared to other people, deprived of love and affection when i wasn't perfect or praise worthy by complete strangers to me, and had to act like an adult. Now it is time to spoil and raise my inner child and put myself first for once!
It takes real strength of character to figure that out and accept that part of you. Well done for putting yourself first when you recognized that you needed it.
Nothing about parenting has ever been remotely desirable or attractive to me. From being pregnant for 9 mths to the pain of childbirth, to years of dealing with children and everything that goes with it. The loss of freedom, time and resources. The chronic stress and anxiety and worry. NO thanks.
Hey Rose I just want to say thank you for making this video it it really helped help a lot and I completely understand now but I rather be a aunt so I can spoil my nieces and nephews and send them home and I rather be a dog mom 🙏💜
male, childfree, 37 at time of the following: Traveling: I'd always given my Mom hotel phone numbers in case she had an emergency, or just wanted to check on me ( was before cell phones ) had done this for several years and several trips per year. This was a simple one: Memorial Day weekend in Montreal. 5 days. so this one time, for the first time, out of nowhere she says to me : "you know if you had kids you wouldn't be able to do that" I didn't know what to say other than than "yeah...." all the time thinking 1. I don't have kids 2. I'm not planning on. 3. Are you trying to talk me out of having kids? you don't have to cause I have no plans 4. didn't think fast enough but if I did I would have said, really, I know a couple who had kids and they ALL took a trip to Montreal 27 years ago......I THINK the parents had a good time. I know the son did....... because he was I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! now this trip was mid-summer, not Memorial Day weekend..... so school was out and my father was on vacation. so maybe my Mother only said it because Memorial Day around here, school was still in session and I was leaving on Thursday and not returning until Tuesday to make the 368 mile trip more worthwhile.....
Your mom was right in thinking that generally having kids does limit a lot of families from making trips during school term, but not all families. A lot of people manage to make it work. So I wouldn’t want to discourage anyone who wants to do both. It’s all up to the individual to manifest what they want in life. Thanks for sharing your experience. :) So glad to hear you’re enjoying your chosen path!
I never thought I would marry or have kids and had a condition where I couldn't have them anyways. Ended up getting that fixed, got married and I adore my daughter. Currently contemplating having another. Love being a mother but didn't like pregnancy much. I am surprised people care so much about whether other people desire children. It is very responsible to sterilize yourself or make sure to avoid pregnancy if you know you don't wanna reproduce. I have nothing but respect for that.
I have two children, a boy and a girl, I got what I wanted and they are a blessing to me, I'm quite certain I would've regretted it if I didn't have any and I feel I would've failed if I didn't have any, I admit it's not easy but having children, well, it really worked for us.
I’m so glad to hear that it works for you, Andrew. :) They truly are a blessing when you’re the type of person who enjoys being a parent and considers it something you would’ve otherwise regretted. ^_^
My reasons: -I'm autistic as well as possibly my grandfather and I don't wanna give my kids anything challenging like that -I hate most kids, especially boys -I value my freedom too much -I grew up abused in all ways and don't want my kids to be abused by peers or, you know, me hitting them, which is the last thing I ever wanna do because my mom messed me up that way. -I'm not as patient as I wanna be -Can't deal with loud noises/people -Teenage rebellion? Nope. I'd probably wind up in jail via insanity -Most people suck and I don't want my kids to endure that -I don't want my kids to inherit my mental illnesses -Earth is dying, so, what fairness would it be bringing them into a nearly dead planet?
You forgot the excruciating pain of pregnancy and childbirth and potential risks and complications to yours and your child's body. My friend's baby died at 10 months old because of improper delivery. He was at the hospital the whole time and she was with him almost every second of every day. There are also miscarriages which so many women have, and it is a hush-hush topic, which some would argue are a bigger torture than actually delivering a child. There is no deeper pain than losing a child at any stage.
I am a millennial, and never thought about having kids in my life. My excuse, too busy and I am very jealous with my me time. I want to travel while I am young. Enjoy my life without any strings attached. I like my freedom and enjoy my relationship with my boyfriend to do what we like. Having fun and enjoying life thats what happiness looks like for me .
I'm 63. I have never been married and I don't have any kids. And I'm very happy being single and childless. I was raised in a family of 8 kids. Six brothers, one sister, and myself. Four of my brothers are mentally handicapped. But sadly, one of them passed away back in July of 2000. It wasn't easy growing up in a family of eight kids. Because of my family life when I was growing up, as well as my Catholic upbringing, I chose not to get married and have kids. I wanted to work and travel instead. She definitely brought up a few good points about working and having a kid at the same time. When it comes to working mothers, most employers are still living in the days of June Cleaver, Ozzie and Harriet, Margaret Anderson, and Alice Mitchell. Both parents have to work full time today just to survive. I don't know how these women today can work full time and take care of a family at the same time. I just couldn't do it. In my 40 years in the workforce, I have never been disciplined or even fired from a job due to child care issues. An employer can count on me to come in on time and put in a full day of work.
You are such an inspiration! :) Thank you for sharing that with us. I think it’s important to show a balanced view from people of all stages of life and genders. I can completely sympathise with your experience. 8 kids...yikes.
She also mentioned that this world is a terrible place to raise a kid. This world has been troubled for centuries, and yet, women still have children. My grandparents were raised during World War I. My parents were raised during the Great Depression and World War II. I was raised during the Vietnam War, Watergate, the civil rights movement, the assassinations of both the Kennedy brothers and Martin Luther King, the race riots in the inner cities, the anti-war protests, the Bay of Pigs, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Manson Family murders, the Kent State shootings, the conflicts in the Middle East, and the Energy Crisis. We don't know when the world's going to come to an end. After all, Jesus said that nobody knows the day nor the hour of His return. Only the God the Father knows that. Don't take this personally, but I have to disagree with her on this.
I can appreciate your position. I wasn’t raised during a war, so it’s hard for me to fully understand what that would be like. Although I personally wouldn’t want to have children during a war any more than I do now.
@@happyandauthentic You're quite welcome. Not everybody's cut out to be a parent. And don't let anybody judge you simply choose not to have children. You definitely made a few valid points in this video. Children are very expensive. It costs hundreds of thousands dollars a year just to raise a child. And sleep deprivation. You don't have to worry about waking up in the middle of the night to deal with a crying and colicky baby, feeding that baby, and changing poopy diapers. And of course, there's the terrible twos. You can also go shopping without hearing "Mommy, can I have this? "Mommy, can I have that?" And so forth. And whenever you tell the child "No," he or she will have a full-blown temper tantrum until you cave into their demands. As far as relationships go, more than half the marriages in this country end up in divorce, and there are too many custody battles. Even if you get divorced, you still have to pay child support, or else, they'll haul you right off to jail. And there are way too many kids being raised in a single-parent home. I just don't want any part of this. And if you love to travel, you can plan your vacations around your job schedule; and not around a school schedule. A lot of these schools don't allow family vacations during the school year. They consider them to be unexcused absences and they also violate the states' mandatory attendance laws. Also back in early 70's, Bill Cosby starred in a short-lived NBC sitcom where he played a high school gym teacher in Los Angeles. In a two-part episode, a really bad thunderstorm hits Los Angeles. His pregnant neighbor had gone into labor and he was unable to get her to the hospital because the streets were flooded. Therefore, she delivered the baby at home instead. In real life, I am afraid of thunderstorms, and I would really freak out if that was me. They would have had to give me general anesthesia. But unfortunately, they don't do that when women are in labor and they're about to deliver. That also attributed to my decision as well.
43 childfree and happeeeeeeeeeee. Don't regret a single minute. Love the sleeping in, travelling, financial freedom and not being bound to school holidays only. Oh gosh, I think I'm gonna take a nap..
Sounds good to me :)
I'm the same age as you and I'm debt free and going to Dubai on vacation soon
Me too 41 and no children .... love my life ❤️
I love a kip in the afternoon.
Amen!
I don't want kids either, and it's nobody's business but mine. Ahhhh, the freedom to travel whenever I want...
Tell me about it!
Anat Katz absolutely right 👌🏿🙏🏿 it’s your life your body like seriously people need to stay out of these kinds of decisions
Me too, 😉
I know someone who had a kid recently and I asked her how’s the parent life and she said it’s really hard and she also told me not to have kids. Kids are hard.
Oh yes!!
I so agree, Rose! I am 51 now and I do not regret not having kids. You really raise important points,
I’m so glad to hear that! It’s important to get our voices heard as women who have made this decision and stick by it.
Hi! I'm a 31 still on the fence. May I ask some advice?
This is what I love the most about the comment section. Asking for and providing advice makes us all more knowledgeable and confident. ^_^
@@happyandauthentic I wanted children ever since I can remember but when I was 20 I had a friend that had a baby and I helped through the first year. I did it because I wanted children. Looking back I think I was looking for love (I know now that a reason to have kids) and slowly that "need" faded away. I am now 31 and terribly wishing I had more time because I like my life as it is. My partner is younger so I still have soms time to think but of course clock is ticking. I keep asking myself "if I do it is because I really want to or because this is what I have been told to do my whole life and afraid I'll regret it in the future?" F.O.M.O sounds ridiculous but it's true...
I’d say try fostering. That will give you a chance to try out raising kids without as much responsibility. If you aren’t ready for troubled or special needs kids then you aren’t ready for any kids period. I’d say that’s a great place to start.
My wife and I are in our mid 30's and never wanted kids. We've been married for over 12yrs and after seeing the stuff parents have to put up with makes us so incredibly grateful we don't/won't have kids.
Yeah, it’s not for everyone, for sure.
You only see the negative side to it. I know it can put you off having them but it's all worth it in the end.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 as someone who suffers from major depression, social anxiety, PTSD, paranoia, ADHD, and the idea of my body turning on me even more. I'm also irresponsible and my future career cannot be achieved while pregnant or with a child. I can't stand loud noises or being around loud people. I like being able to do my hobbies, enjoy my life and doing things my way instead of having to work around some stupid potato. The minute I turn 21 I am getting my tubes removed, my periods are naturally heavy and unpredictable and my cramps are extremely painful and required that I carry pills with me before I started on birth control to get rid of my period.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 there are too many negatives. And many children end up as murderers, druggies, drunk drivers, being cruel to animals, destroying our environment etc. It really is not worth it.
@@beaulieuc8910 Then it's up to the parents to invest time and energy to shape them, guide them, teach them morals, my son is 16, never smoked, doesn't drink, rarely cusses in the house, does not get into trouble with the police.
Awesome video. I used to want children, but then I realized that was just what society told me to want. I’m currently ok with my decision.
Sometimes it’s hard to tell our own desires from those of society. Good for you for figuring that out!
Appreciate the reply. I subbed and look forward to more of your videos!
Precisely what I went through !!!! That pressure was killing meeeee !!!
Same.. I thought I was supposed to have kids after I got married. I was never on birth control, was married for 7 years and I never came out pregnant. I wasn't trying either. I either can't have children, it wasn't meant to be, or both. But I'm SO glad I never had kids cuz I never really liked them nor ever had that craving of wanting to be a mother. I'm 41 now, children free and HAPPY 😍😍
I knew at young age I didn’t want be a mom.
Raising a child is so expensive some people don’t think about it and pop out a baby.
Being pregnant doesn’t sound pleasant to me. I do have a disability can pass it on. It’s of my one reasons I choice to be childfree.
I’m a dog person rather adopt two dog and be married someday.
That’s so mature of you to be aware of all those things at a young age.
I have three dogs and they are my babies! More people are thinking like you!
@Irina Ivanova Very cool! What kind of birds do you have? Where are you based?
Seems like every woman who dont want children gets a dog instead.. so much for the `I wanna sleep long` or `I can do whatever I want`..no you cant, you have a dog.
I’m disabled too. I can only barely take care of myself and need a carer for some things so, having a child would just be a massive burden on everyone around me. My disability could be passed on, but I also carry the genes for a bunch of nasty mental health issues including schizophrenia and bipolar, and I wouldn’t visit that on a child. I prefer animals. My birds are my children!
I have had a child but absolutely respect people who chose to be child-free. For me the biggest shock has not been how expensive having a child is in fact even with not being financially very well off thats made its way to the bottom of the pile. It’s the loss of freedom, sleep etc the cost in terms of energy physically and mentally and putting yourself last, the constant worrying etc i could go on 😅
I so respect you for having kids despite all that, Rosy.
Yes, the lost of freedom is one of the many reasons I am childfree. I love to be able to do what I want, when I want well within Covid rules of course. And if you leave the kid home alone, the social services come over... no, I am not having that stress.
@@beaulieuc8910 right?? I am currently in bed just enjoying being on my phone, watching RUclips videos, reading comments, AC on and RELAXING. Nobody to bug me, throwing tantrums, crying or screaming 😌
My sentiments exactly, what's the point of bringing forth a human you can barely provide for.
Hi, I'm also a school teacher in Colombia and I enjoy my time with children but as you said I want to go back home and take a rest without any responsibility with children so I decided not to have children. To be parents is okay but freedom is much better. That's my opinion. (Sorry for my english)
No need to apologize. Your English is perfect. :) It sounds like you’re a very good teacher because you care about the kids so much you don’t want to jeopardize your patience to guide them by adding more kids at home.
I am 55 and married--no children here and no regrets! We love traveling, sleeping in going out. We are debt free as well! Every night is date night!
Sounds like a dream life, Jacquelyn!
I have raised the same points to people. People still look at me like I'm crazy. I don't really care. I'm 43. No natural children. Only adoption. No regrets!
I'm sorry to hear you've been judged so harshly, MissJubillee. I'm glad to hear you have no regrets about your decision though. ^_^
I just turned 60. I have never had the desire to have my own children. It was the best decision to not bring a child into this world. Life has been very full, tho. Other people's kids and my animal family have gotten my love and care. Not selfish, but mature.
@@debbiewilson4123 I'm so happy to hear you never regretted it, Debbie! It sounds like you lived a very full life regardless. ^_^
I'm 29... I don't want kids.
I’m glad you’re comfortable with that decision, Manisha!
Some of the most happiest women on earth are those who are single and childless or childfree and I happen to be both a single woman and without any children at the age of 41.
Freedom certainly is a lot of people’s highest value.
I'm 60, single & child free. I have 4 cats & 1 dog. I don't bother dating anymore. Men, my age aren't child free. I'm happy to stay single, forever, rather than tolerate a man, with kids. I tried dating a divorced father, 20 years ago. (Never again !). I have child free friends. I'm very happy being childfree.
I don't want a bunch of unemployed people eating all my food and then I also have to clean up after them. no thabks
Hahaha that’s certainly one way to put it! :D
hahah so true!
Took me a minute to get it 😄
haha I'm a mom and I get it:) They do learn to clean up after themselves and they even help me with cooking. But no one who doesn't really want kids should ever have them. I'm happy for anyone who knows what they want and don't want in life.
I think being child free is a great choice for so many reasons.
I agree
@@happyandauthentic Me too.
Actually a lot of guys do feel like their decisions are being judged as well as I see men who talk about their experiences. It's just that women are more harshly judged on their choices.
30 and childfree. I can't imagine having my life permanently impacted with a child I don't want. I don't want to lose my sleep or my solitude. I'm extremely introverted and I need alone time significantly especially after work (when I used to work) and I'd come back home grumpy whenever I was nagged after step-in into my threshold and I only live with family members. I get angry when I can't be alone, doing my hobbies and being able to sleep. I don't handle loud noises and temper tantrums well from children. I also like spending time with my boyfriend. I don't want the child to be competing with him for attention, nor do I want to sacrifice adult time or feel trapped in my own home.
I know for a fact I'd be extremely resentful if I had children and I would not make a good parent at all which is why I opt out of having them. I don't care if that makes me "selfish" for some but I am also responsible and empathetic towards children and the planet for not having them.
I think your words are well thought out and it’s good that you know yourself so well. Thanks for sharing that. I don’t think you’re selfish either.
Same here!
Yes 👏 well said
The crazy thing is whenever I see people with kids they're always complaining about something regarding parenting. Whether it be not being able to go out, not getting a good night's sleep, all the things they have to buy or just being overwhelmed in general.
And don't get me started on the ones that jump at any opportunity to pawn their kids off on someone else for a night.
But then will be confused as to why I don't want children. Like dude, you don't exactly make it sound like a picnic.
What a good point you make, Leah! I’ve noticed a similar thing.
Leah W im convinced they just want us to be as miserable as them!
@@xxerubadhrielxx they secretly do!!
Haha, all true. Misery loves company! I however, love loneliness in my hot tub far from misery making parents, which is why I lock the gate at night and never agree to babysit. 😂
Things that are truly worth in life don’t come easy.
Have pets instead.
Even pets are too much responsibility for me. But yeah, I agree that it could be a nice solution for some people.
Happy & Authentic not really having a small bird isnt hard but kids are
With respect, pets are a poor substitute for children. If child free people have pets it tells me they are missing something as they are focusing their attention on another life. An animal can show love through affection but there is nothing more awesome than a child saying "I love you mom' Like a mission accomplished, this is why children are actually rewarding, and not just a nuisance, or a pain in the neck. They are in fact, a blessing.
I don't even want THOSE lol
@@thecelticdruid.6681 They are rewarding because they say " I love you " ?!? I could live without that !!
I'm 35 and have a health condition but my husband and I are actually content now with the fact that we won't have kids. I like videos like this to know we are not alone.
I’m glad you and your husband are content with your situation and that my video could help you feel less alone. Your comment does the same for others, so thank you for sharing. :)
I'm 27 and been married for 1 year now and opt to be child-free... I and my husband simply don't care about what people might think about our choice. Our life, our rule...Aha! xoxo
Exactly, Ces! You and your husband are the only people who get a say about whether or not you have children.
I knew when I was young, that I didn't want to be a mom. I'm now 55 and have 0 regrets that I never had a child. I like my freedom to much. I'm getting together with friends at the end of the month for a concert. When I got the tickets, I didnt have to worry about if I could afford it or if my kid needed something for school. And when I go to the concert, I don't have to worry about getting a baby sitter. I'm off work tomorrow and I'm sleeping in late and going for a first day hike. I just can't honestly think of a reason to have them. And I recently had a very long discussion with my nephew about being childfree since he has decided that he doesn't want them.
You sound like you’ve tailored your life to your needs, Susan. Great job! ^_^ You must be loving life!
@@happyandauthentic ..each and every day
Sleeping in and going for a day hike sounds SO good and relaxing without a fussy, bratty kid 😁
Financial reasons are just one type of reason. Time is more precious than finances. If a person has no time enough to properly take care of oneself after work, then do chores, cleaning, budgeting and have proper rest and quality 8 hour sleep and barely make it for next day to work - add another person (disabled for the first few years) - and you'll screw up your schedule, and thereby screw up your health. If you have bunch of extra time left (like 8 extra free hours) every day after work,then after cooking and cleaning at home, then resting, and then still have time to sleep full 8 hours AND if you have a positive net worth at the end of every month big enough to support two adult quality lives for the next 18+ years AND if you have stable living place , then it's ok to just make ONE baby and still under one more condition - you have to want it. I treasure QUALITY of life over QUANTITY of lives. It's just a matter of quality over quantity, and the only people who think like that are the ones who live their lives consciously.
This was so brilliantly said. You make a fantastic point! Thank you so much for sharing your view.
Well put. Quality over quantity.
I’m childfree and really happy it’s my life
I’m glad you’re loving life, Marina. ^_^
There's never been a choice for me to have kids. I just never had the urge for my own children. Now that's not saying I hate kids. I actually LOVE children/teens and have TONS of patience for kids.
But the urge and desire has never clicked in my head to reproduce. I never got hit with baby fever and I'm 37.
I have lots of people assume I have kids and there's always that surprised Pikachu face when discovering me and my husband don't want any. Then the second surprise comes up when they say we'll change our mind later and ask how long we been married.
18 years.
At that point, I see their expressions just trying to come with another comeback, but they can't handle it.
I just never had the urge for having any of my own.
I think it’s safe to say you never will at this point. Haha
I don't like kids so there is no way I want them ,and only have limited contact with them and that is enough
Great video. From a male perspective it's interesting how many of my male relatives, friends and co workers feel so open about not wanting kids. But their female counterparts are vilified, humiliated, described as crazy or selfish by everyone especially other females if they openly confess to not wanting kids. We really have to change that ignorant mindset within our culture. Watching from London UK.
It’s quite disappointing to hear how people treat each other even during these supposedly enlightened times. My only hope is that things are improving slowly but surely.
I'd love to be childless forever.
Good thing it’s 100% your choice. You totally CAN be, if you want to be. ^_^
Being Childfree IS the best.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜👍
@@yasminaderid683 I totally agree!
@@happyandauthentic Yes. Good thing also that my boyfriend doesn't want kids as well. 👌
@@topawesomeofficial180 You are so lucky, i hope i can meet a man that shares the same idea.
SO SO TRUE. Im gonna be child free by choice!
I’m glad to hear it, Anoushka!
I'm in my mid 20's, the youngest of 4 girls and after my older sisters had their kids in their teens as young as 13, I don't want kids. I have a plan for myself after college and I don't want to mess it up for myself and give up my dreams. Nobody has the right to judge our own decisions. Agree with this video!
Thanks for sharing that, Kam. ^_^ I wish you the best of luck with your plans.
At 54 I am finally past the point of people asking me if i am going to have kids now they just ask if i have any and seemed shocked when i say no and then ask "why not" which is uncomfortable. Sometimes i say because i have mental health issues in my family and sometimes i say because i never wanted any which seems to offend them and sometimes if i am feeling mean i would say because i cant have any which would make them feel bad for asking in the first place 🤣 Having kids does not necessarily make you feel less lonely in these days when everyone lives their life on social media and cant be bothered to pick up the phone and actually communicate!
Cyndi, I love your answer! Haha I wonder what their responses are when you tell them you can’t have any. When people are being obnoxious, I can understand the impulse to be a little mean like that. :p
I wouldn't worry about offending anyone, especially if they have the nerve to ask "why not?"
"I didn't want any" is all the explanation anyone is owed.
Imagine offending someone with your personal decision. This world is something else!
I think you can still be lonely if you have kids, they grow up move far away and even have nothing or little in common with them. I like to have friendships outside social media, though not that many but that is enough for me. I have lots of hobbies so I meet people that way of all ages
@@beaulieuc8910 Ohhh I agree! I have so many relations and friends whos kids do not give them the time of day. Wont answer the phone but will only text or will call only if they want something. So sad!
I am finding a growing number of people agree with you! And as others mentioned, the financial freedom, traveling, emotional freedom, and all the reasons you stated, can make a difference! I know I will find the right person out there that meets that view, too. Your video gives us all hope!
My heart is hopeful for you, Sanjay! :)
Happy & Authentic Thank you! I find that like attracts like! Just knowing that I don’t have to sacrifice my values is helpful in seeking the same. While I enjoyed dating single moms, I could tell there was a phony feeling inside that I ignored. I will not ignore it anymore! There will only be one mouth to feed-hers! If she has a job, she can help with groceries’
Sacrificing your values for another can lead to some serious relationship problems and also mental personal health issues, if not addressed. I’m glad you realized you can have the things you feel you need the most. Best of luck!
Happy & Authentic Such good advice! I have noticed this to be true in other areas of my life! You could be a life coach! Keep the videos coming!!
I’m glad you think so, Sanjay, because I AM a life coach. Haha I accept bookings through my website: Happyandauthentic.com. ^_^
I’ve just turned 30, single, and not sure if I want kids myself or if that’s just what I’ve always assumed I would do and what’s been expected of me. The thought of pregnancy makes me feel extremely anxious and terrified, I’ve had nightmares about it for years, and I very rarely feel maternal toward children - I usually don’t want to hold other people’s babies or get excited around kids. I’m ok when I’m around them but I don’t seek it out.
I’m not even sure I want to get married at this point either - I think that being single basically my whole life has gotten me too used to my own company. Maybe if I met the ‘right person’ my thoughts on both things will change, but it seems like in this day and age I really have to put my back out to meet someone and I feel like it’s just trying way too hard when it shouldn’t be (dating apps are not the same as meeting people out in the wild).
I’ve just been thinking about all this a lot lately.
I really feel for you, AngelSamBooks. It’s such a blessing to have an opportunity to think about these desires for yourself and really tailor your decisions to your own lifestyle and what feels comfortable. I wish you the best of luck.
I've spent most of my life neglecting myself because of mental health reasons. Now I'm 32 and barely getting better, I really feel I begin to live a life worth living, so honestly I do want to enjoy the rest of it taking care of myself. Guilt free! Free at last! Among other reasons indeed, the most important being that I just don't feel like having kid(s). Sending love to all of you! 💕
Thanks for sharing that, Zinila. It sounds like you’ve shown some remarkable courage and strength throughout your life.
Thank you for bringing that topic up. I don't ever want childern regardless of what other people think or say. I generally don't like children and i don't feel comfortable being around them. I started disliking children even more because the new RUclips policy that's happening from the FTC Coppa (Children's Online Privacy Protection Action) law is going to be problematic for alot of adults on RUclips for the sake of the children.
The whole life cycle thing of living things being born to procreate to past on their genes to next generation and die is so lame to me. I much rather be single forever than ever have a girlfriend who even in the slightest eventually wants kids. It seems that every biological fact about the female body such as females having more body fat than males, females naturally being more flexible than males, females mature faster than males, females having stronger lower body strength than males , and females having a higher tolerance for pain than males is all for childbearing and preparing for motherhood.
It sucks that a lot of couples are too stubborn to realize the consequences of the planet being so overpopulated by keep making them babies and since the Earth's population is it going to continue to grow then Humanity better become a multi Planet species before 30 years despite the difficulties of finding a planet that's habitable for us humans to inhabit without the need for space suits.
I agree that it’s kinda lame that we are basically made to pass on our genes. I think there are more important things in life than procreating.
You talked a lot of deep stuff in having kids which I don't get why parents never talk about. Parents seems only talks about how happy they are having the kid but ignoring all the issues. I just don't get it. I guess people thinks having kids is the norm and everyone have to do it and that's just nuts.
Once we make a choice that life changing it makes sense that we’d find reasons to excuse and explain why it was a good decision. No one wants to admit they may have messed up. So it’s important to bring these issues up before having children, so people can make an informed decision. And not just hear a one sided argument from people who are trying to convince themselves and others that they made the right choice.
I think these things don't get talked about because they just don't come up or we don't stop to think about it. We just think, oh I'm grown up, married.. time to have kids! .. also we have more access to the internet so we get to see videos like these and a little light bulb 💡 turns on and we're like.. oh yes, this and that happens when we have kids ..
I never wanted kids. I gave my parents plenty warning, and at this point they would be shocked if I changed my mind. Instead, I want own a lot of animals, read a ton of books, and become an author. This world does not need me to have babies, its fine that others do. One things that is dumb is people tell me I'm selfish. Like they say I will die alone and when I'm old and need help, no one will be there. But then I clap back with, well isn't it selfish to have a child to only have them take care of me when I'm old? That is if they even want to be with me anyway. Plus, when I'm old, I'm going take care of myself and live in this world independently and with spirit. I am not going to go through the horror (as an asexual with sex repulsion) of having sex, getting pregnant, then through the trauma of birth, to then have a small human scream and through fits, just because someone else told me "I have to have a baby". Nope! I'm good! Having children is not for everyone, and it's fine if you do or don't want kids. People need to just be themselves. :)
So well said, Rose. You do you. ^_^ What sort of books do you write?
@@happyandauthentic I write mystery/horror novels on Wattpad, but I hope to have them traditionally published one day! :D
I’m repulsed by sex too. I can if I really want to, but I find it a very uncomfortable and invasive activity. I prefer not to bother. There’s probably a word for that lol! The idea of pregnancy makes me physically sick. I’d rather cut off my own limb than give birth. When you feel like that it’s just better to avoid the whole messy process lol!
@@ananonymoushen4339 I don't get any pleasure from sex, just pain or nothing.
The one thing that bugs me is when people mention the whole, who's going to take care of you when you're old? Well guess what? Many kids aren't even around their parents when they're old. How many old people are living alone and are lonely? Their kids don't even come around. So yeah, good luck with that gamble..
I am 63 and have 3 children and 2 Grandchildren and one on the way. Having children is wonderful to me but exhausting too. I never expect them to take care of me. Great for you. I think Childfree adults should be happy with their choice. You have one life and are able to make you own choices.
It sounds like you chose correctly for yourself. It’s great when people can see what is good for them and make decisions based on that rather than doing things just because others tell them to.
You are very open and respectful person ! I appreciate it a lot.
Being childfree, I will never be a grandmother, but I want to focus on my own interests, and I need that time for myself.I would be too busy to spend time with lots of grandchildren.
Why do all these mothers start off with the financial burden of children 😩 makes us all seem selfish. Many of us can in fact afford a child but have many deeper reasons why we don’t want one.
Everyone’s reasons are difficult. There’s no shame to whatever yours is.
Its interesting that many don't even consider these things before having children. I have always been one to over analyse things so when I seriously thought about having kids every single one of your points came to my mind. we must think alike :) I too am also a vegan. I have talked about these points with my husband and at this point have both decided to not have children. I am 34 and my husband 38. We don't want our relationship to change or be strained by having them and also we love travelling. we want to pay off the mortgage before we are 50 and without having children this is completely achievable. thanks for sharing its nice to know others out there think like this too. I am never apologetic or guilty about sharing my truth about not wanting to have kids. There is nothing wrong with making that choice. Whats weird is that 3 different strangers who are supposed mediums/claivoyants have told me without me asking that I am to have twins??!! so who knows what my future holds.
Thanks for sharing your decisions and thoughts, Louise. How lovely it is to see that others think similarly (and that you’re also vegan)! I’m so curious whether you’ll end up with twins anyway now. Maybe adoption? ;) haha
I decided when I was a kid, that I never wanted to have kids. My reasoning was, I didnt want to bring someone into a world where they would just have to die one day anyway. I'm 53 now. In my life I have had unprotected sex, and was on the pill for a few years. Never got pregnant (thank God) .. got lucky I guess.
Certainly sounds like you got lucky, Sunday. I’m glad you did though. When you don’t want kids, they’re not as much of a blessing as when you do want them.
People around throw me pathetic looks when they know i m single,unmarried and childless.
(They think i'm weird)
I saw how my parents(immature,financially unstable)struggle with raising a family.
Lesson learnt, Don't repeat.
My mom used to babysit alot of babies,toddlers to supplement income.
We the children helped took care of many babies and toddlers.
Now i am all grown up,i just wanna make up lost time not bother anyone and just enjoy my solitude.
I m 42,never regretted not getting married and having children.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
I had one daughter when I was 17. Her father and I got married and a few years down the track, we tried for a second child. Due to severe health complications, it didn’t end well. We had the choice to pursue IVF, but after a long time, we chose not to.
I am now a grandmother. The doctors told me that my daughter was a miracle, by all means, I should have never conceived her.
I am at peace with my decision. I returned to the workforce and raised one daughter. Many people questioned our decision but we stuck to it.
Thanks for sharing that, Nephilim. It's always valuable to hear different point of views.
Happy & Authentic thank you. Your recent explanation of why conceiving babies was not your personal choice inspired me to tell my story.
When the Creator decided that one copy of me was enough, He reassured me that I had a distinct purpose.
I never realised that while I was mothering a toddler, I could be infertile as well.
My ex husband was crucial. With IVF, we required a blood and sperm donor to avoid complications,
We both agreed that if he couldn’t have his natural offspring, there was no point.
He proudly boasts about one daughter, even though he remarried. So did I.
We have, currently, one beautiful and strong granddaughter.
If the Creator blesses them with more than one child, I will be elated.
My bloodline lives on. My immediate siblings NEVER had children.
The answer to my father wanting offspring is reflected in the miracle that only ONE of his children had descendants.
His full DNA, blood and life have reflected in my offspring; plus a Christian dedication. Ps: Dad was an atheist, he was a Freemason and blamed God for his favourite younger sister passing away, as a side note.
@@nephilimslayer73 What an intriguing story, Nephilim. Thank you for putting it out into the world for others to read and learn from. ^_^
I am a mother of 2 daughters. Thats all i wanted . I can say i don't regret mine. I don't try to tell other women that they need a kid. My best friend is child free. Its ok either way. I think it comes down to . Both parents and childfree should respect one anothers decision. It doesn't ruin your life or finances to have kids . It doesn't ruin your life if you don't have kids. I will respect you as child free if you respect me as a mother. Simple as that.
Well said. :) We should all respect and accept each other’s decisions.
I and my girlfriend decided not to have kids for many reasons. One of them is our age: she's 45 and I'm 49.
Cheers from Brazil.
It sounds like you put some serious thought into that decision. You should be proud of that, Sergio. I’m sure you and your girlfriend are very happy with your life together regardless of whether or not you have children. ^_^ Thanks for sharing!
35yo guy here. For as long as I can remember I’ve been told I’ll want kids eventually. Hmmmmm no, I don’t and never will but why am I looked at like a monster for not wanting any. Yes we are consuming natural resources at a discussing rate. A rate that we can’t keep up with and there’s people out there have 3+ kids on purpose.
It’s important to remember that a lot of people - in fact, the majority of people - out there don’t think for themselves. They base their opinions and decisions on tradition and what’s going on around them. You’re one of the few that considers the facts before acting and that’s admirable.
Happy & Authentic thank u. I just wish I could find a woman with similar feelings. It’s harder then I thought out there. When my ex left (because of my lack of wanting children)she said “have fun being alone forever”. Nice rite? I’d rather be alone at that point
I don't think it's much of a world to bring kids into anyway, an over-burdened planet in so many ways. Even right now millenials in my country struggle to buy a home. Imagine what it will be like in the future..
No wonder women say men never really grow up, well, who can actually blame you? When 5he child is born you have to settle for second best as the child has to come first no matter what you do, they are totally top priority, your needs come last, your life virtually don't exist anymore, so parenting is not for people who are not prepared to make that sacrifice, vanulty is also an issue, you do lose that figure as well as your freedom. Parenting also ages you, I know all this from experience. Your sex life is almost completely non existence, not only soon after the child is born, but when the child is older. Our son would not sleep on his own for a few years, his mother and ai ended up in separate beds, now he is 16, still at home, his room is next to ours so we do not risk him hearing us, after a time you lose Interest after not doing it so long, so yes, if you have a high sex drive, children is not for you, these are only just the negative sides to parenting that child free people sadly think about, there is also most certainly a positive side. It really does get better with the right way of raising them. If you put the time and energy in.
@@thecelticdruid.6681 You can't convince anyone to change their mind. It is what it is, let people live how they want to.
Choice and Respect. I think that is what this issue comes down to for me. I agree with you on the population issue, however that being said it still comes down to personal choice and respect on others choice. I am 42 years old and decided when I was a teenager not to have children. I don’t know if there was one pressing reason why. I don’t dislike children or any one reason you mentioned. I just don’t have that pressing desire in me that a lot of people do to procreate. I have met a few people in my life that have that need that haven’t been able to have children and I feel so badly for them. I know someone now that has been trying to get pregnant for years and has been unable. She wants to have a child of her own. For some reason adoption isn’t the same for her. It is something innate in her, this need to have a child. I just don’t have that need to have a child or even raise a child. I think those that do - good for you. But I also feel the respect part is so important. I remember when I was in my 20’s and 30’s people telling me “you’ll change your mind,” as if I didn’t know my own mind. I wouldn’t do that to someone. And now it’s another form now that I’m in my 40’s. Just a few weeks ago someone told me “you don’t know what it’s like since you don’t have children”. So for me it comes down to those two things - Choice and respect.
I absolutely agree, Alexa! We need to respect one another more rather than judging each other. I love the way you think!
I can relate to those patronizing questions a LOT
Except it includes the fact that I'm a lesbian, my mom keeps treating it like a bad habit I'll eventually grow out of so I can pop out more grandchildren for her. It's been 8 years mother, I'm pretty sure it's not a habit lol
Ah yes, the “bad habit” of being attracted to women. Nasty habit that one. Haha I know many straight men that suffer from it. My husband’s one of them. Perhaps he can give you advice on how to break it. Lol In all seriousness though, I’m sorry your mother sees it that way. I hope you can get through to her at some point.
35 and childfree! Never had any regrets. I have a disability and a bunch of health issues. Also there is schizophrenia and bipolar and a bunch of other mental health stuff in our family. We even have a couple of low scoring psychopaths. I would NEVER risk passing any of that on to kids, so if I ever change my mind, (which I doubt I will) I will try to adopt or foster. I believe in taking care of the kids already on the planet before we make any more. Also I prefer animals and if I’m honest, I don’t like kids. They annoy me. Hence why I don’t think I’ll ever change my mind.
I feel it’s better to know your limits and not reproduce if you don’t 100% desperately want to be a parent. And I don’t. I’d rather rescue unwanted parrots.
I’m sorry to hear about your genetic challenges. I’d like to congratulate you on having the self awareness to decide not to pass those challenges on to a child. I agree that adopting would have such a bigger positive effect. As does rescuing animals. ^_^
well said
I used to think something was wrong with me because I never had the instinctual longing for children. I am 36, happily married, and child free
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you, Lauren. ^_^
I love and enjoy my current title Auntie i have two handsome nephews. People look at me like i have 4 heads when I say i don't have children and I don't want children. My brother is the youngest and he looks older than me.
Thank you for making this video
Thank you for your comment, Christina! I'm sure you're a lovely auntie. ^_^
Thanks for this video. Me having mental health issues is really a valid reason to not have children.Why even go through the process and possibly pass along your issues to a innocent person. Student debt also isn't helping either. Lets not forget the process of being pregnant and a black woman in this sick care system. I'm good. Not every experience is for everyone
That’s something we all need to accept and come to terms with: that not all of us will get to experience everything everyone else does. And that’s okay!
58. Childfree. Loving every peaceful moment.
So lovely to hear you have enjoyed your choice! ^_^
Im 36 and child free. I absolutely love the children in ny life (my nieces, nephews, little cousins and the kids I train) and kids in general. I am VERY protective around children and I do enjoy the energy of children.
With that said, I DO NOT want children of my own and I appreciate and I am grateful not to handle that responsibility. Theres times where I think of being a parent and it seems cool but I just do NOT have a burning desire or deep passion to want to be a father/parent.
I enjoy my freedom to do the things I enjoy without much sacrifice. And I also don't really have the ideal financial situation and establishments (That I hold myself to) to want to even have children.
I deeply respect your decision to not have kids. It's lovely to hear that you love children and respect/care for the kids in your life without necessarily wanting your own. Often people tend to think that those who don't want kids hate them, when that couldn't be farther from the truth for most of us. Thanks for sharing your experience and opinion. ^_^
I’m 30 , I’m married and I don’t want to have kids... how do you handle the judgement ... honestly sometimes I feel guilty because I know my husbands mom wants grandchildren... but i won’t change my mind ... but i do feel really guilty .
I’m sorry to hear you feel judged, Carolina. Has that sentiment been verbally expressed to you by your mother in law or do you feel guilty because you think she might be resenting you? I personally handle it by having those conversations openly and being honest about how I feel. I stick to “I feel...because I need” statements, because that way there is nothing for them to argue against. An example would be “I feel anxious when you tell me you want grandchildren, because I need the security of your approval.” That usually sparks an honest dialogue rather than defensive arguments. I wish you the best of luck.
Dies your husband want children? If not then you shouldn't feel guilty about not giving her grandchildren if her own son is not willing to give her grandchildren.
I'm 39 years old, single/unmarried and childfree all by choice. I have a bunch of reasons why I choose not to have children but I will only share my top 3 reasons....
1. Children are too expensive.
2. Parenthood is a lot of responsibility.
3. I don't wanna bring a child into this disgusting world.
Being single/unmarried and childfree was the the best favour I have done for the government and law. Best decision I have made for myself and I have zero regrets.
well said
I totally agree with you Rose! That's why I am happy remaining single! Happy single life :)
If that’s what makes you happy, own it! More power to you. :)
I'm only 25.
However, I'm in a loop about having children.
My biggest worry is passing down health issues and regretting my decision once they are here.
I'm afraid to say "I'll never have children" because accidents happen.
Unless my future husband decides to get snipped.
I think your worries are valid, as is your caution with the words you speak, Stephanie. There is no need to make a decision now for the future. If things change, accept that and flow with it. Take this time to feel how you feel and get to know your true needs and desires.
All of this! My fiancé and I are now constantly dealing with family and friends asking “when are you having kids” even though I’ve told them I don’t want any and have known this since I was young. My family doesn’t understand and either tells me I will change my mind or that I’m making a terrible choice. It’s so annoying. It’s so rude to even ask IMO. It’s like asking someone about their sex life or medical problems. It’s invasive and shouldn’t be a normal point of conversation.
I’m sorry you have to deal with that, Alex. Patience. One day they will stop.
Thanks for this content. It clear and logical, and helped me a lot to explain my choices to others. I'm 32 and since I was a child, I know I didn't want to have a child of my own. My past is complicated and really dramatic. Have been raised by an alcoholic shisophrenic father that never wanted to have any kids. And now when I'm on my path to self actualisation I'm trying to clear every topic aqnd trauma in my head by working through it. This video made me feel a little understaning to my father. He never wanted kids, he was not happy, and couldn't escape from this.
I’m sorry to hear about your dad and that you had such a childhood. I hope you have better luck explaining your choices to people now.
I am terrified of babies, young children and pregnancy sooo no thanks I don't want to be a mom ever
I’m glad you get to make that choice for yourself, Eievui.
I feel exactly the same when I need to fart, I'm afraid I could follow through!!!!
I feel all that you've said. I have one child and I am glad I had him, love him with all my heart but I knew immediately into parenting that I had no interest in giving him a sibling. It may sound horrible but when he grows up I'm done done, I will, of course, still be his amazing mom but when the holidays and homework and major responsibility are over I won't miss it. My son is 13 and people ask crazy things like "Give him a sibling, he's 13"...Exactly, fool, he is 13, hell do I like starting over?! He is my baby, my pal and I've enjoyed watching all that I've loved and cultivated blossom but I don't need to try again. When I'm 40, he will be 20 and I will be without having to worry worry about him.Also, I find folks that have more that 2 bored, lol, hell are you trying to prove? I guess, try for a boy and girl or give kid a companion and after that that's enough...oooooooooor, if I never had my little mistake I would not have ever consciously conceived.
I completely understand your position, Delores. It sounds like you’re very firm on your decision. I’m glad you feel certain. You must be a lovely parent to your son.
I'm 56 and not a mother. I had a hysterectomy in 2007 after fibroids. I have no regrets whatsoever because of what you're saying. No one should ever question a woman's right not to have kids.
I'm so happy to hear that you have never regretted your decision. I don't understand why women are treated as though they themselves are children whose decisions can't be taken seriously. Strange, isn't it?
@@happyandauthentic sure thing.
Awesome video 💯
You have explained everything regarding this topic perfectly & smoothly 👏🏻
Also, I liked how you ended it with "don't judge others" 👍🏻
Have a great week💕😊
Thanks so much, Jay. :)
When People with kids ask me when im going to have kids? i answer.
So misery wants company?
Dark humor is definitely something I appreciate. ;)
🤣🤣
Thank you for making this video and going through all these details... ALL the details. People say your selfish, but they never think of a persons background or even try to understand why a person made the choice to not have children. We all have to do what is the best of all scenarios and parties involved.
I’m glad you appreciated the video. :)
OMG...everyone said/s " to me you will understand when you have children"..."NO! " I say " I understand what it is like to have children, that's why I don't want nor have them." I think a large proportion of people who chose to have children don't really know what it is like to have children, until they do... I was lucky I guess, my mother had my brother when I was 14yo, I saw what it really meant to have children. Decided then that children were not for me. Then I became even luckier and found out that I am unable to have children. I cheered when I found out. Doctor was very concerned with my reaction and asked if I needed counselling. I laughed and said no do you? This is the best thing that could have happened to me. Makes me frustrated when people don't understand that not being able to have children is the best thing that has ever happened to my husband and me. I have friends and other family members that don't want children and they can't get an operation to stop having children because they are women. Grrr, the injustice of it, do people think that they have not thought about it, especially if you have to go against societies norms. Luckly childless and loving it!!!
I’m glad to hear you are happy with your situation, Annette. You sound very sure of your decision and that’s wonderful. ^_^
I have heard quite a few moms be wistful about their childfree days. I dont think every mom is like that..but i think alot more people have had kids because they don't realize that they have the option not too.
I turn 30 in a few weeks and have no desire . I like my life and don't want to change it.
I’m 34, was married 12yrs and during my marriage and now still, have never desired to have children.
Some lives are fine without them. Others are better with them. It’s wise to know which yours is
@@happyandauthentic absolutely, and nothing is wrong with either path that’s chosen 💐
I'm a 29 yr old man soon to be 30 and I don't want kids at all because I have a visually impairment disability ( as an infant to adulthood) I am currently in the transitioning of going back to class for a business degree and starting a business. I don't want kids period, just want to be me and my spouse for the rest of our lives.
Sounds like you’ve really thought this through and have excellent reasons to avoid having children. I wish you the best of luck with your business, Dre!
Happy & Authentic. Thank you so much :)
Best of luck with your degree and business!
You know what? You've just earned yourself a subscriber!!!!
Thanks so much!
I consider this decision a very mature and responsible one. Mental health issues amongst children are at an all-time high nowadays (with Covid adding fuel to the fire). There are obviously A LOT of people out there doing a shitty job when it comes to parenthood. Financial stability is definitely important but by no means enough to raise someone with a decent personality. So many humans never got their childhood trauma worked out and merely pass it down to their offspring. Moreover, the Ukrainian war shows how volatile our economic system really is (I'm German, petrol and gas/energy prices have been shooting through the roof since the war started) and how much we depend on certain agreements...until they're not agreed upon any more. Not exactly my idea of an environment I wanted a child to live in.
I'm 36 now and realized years ago that I'm simply not interested in raising a child. I prefer to invest in myself. Already lost so much time due to mental health issues, I'm not willing to sacrifice any more of it to something I don't personally deem important.
Well said, L W! When the world is going through a cycle of change like it is right now, raising a child adds a lot of uncertainty. Those little humans grow up with more issues than most. It’s probably best us adults handle the situation as best we can before bringing someone new into it. Let’s at least bring them into a world of less war and environmental/financial collapse.
I'm so happy to be childfree by choice. I literally thank God everyday. lol
It’s lovely that you’re so happy with your decision. ^_^
Very true. I totally agree. We should be mentally, physically, financially, emotionally ready for kids otherwise we should not take the risk.
Point no 2 is my reason not to have kids. I have an hereditary mental disorder and sometimes I can't even take care of my self, let alone a child. I think it would be selfish of me to pass it on someone else.
i am so glad I watched this video to reassure myself that my decision to be childfree is satisfying and seems like a blessing. hey, can you please help out in finding a partner who too wants to go childfree?
Sounds like I should start a dating app just for people who don’t want kids. Haha Come to think of it, I’m sure there’s like a million of those out there already. I sure wish I had used one the first few times I found a partner.
Love your energie, your honesty, straight forwardness, you are a good person, you shine and are confident. I am 29 and worried about my desicion, like I feel that I dont want kids but maybe that will be the biggest misstake of my life. In this video you uplift all women stressing over to have or not to have kids. I feel relaxed thanx to you, you are great at what you do
Jasmine, your words were such a joy to receive. Thank you for sharing them with me. I’m honored to have helped you gain a sense of clarity in your decisions. ^_^
63M, lifelong childfree, retired and loving it (though the COVID thing has some travel plans on hold) A few predicted that life would be lonely and unfulfilled without grandchildren but nothing is further from the truth.
Your points pretty much covered it. The loss of intimacy between couples after they have a child is one big thing that turned me off and the fact that life is all about the kids and revolves around them, well--no thanks. I can remember at least a half dozen of my classmates were already divorced by age 25 and kid related issues (& the lack of money due to that) were a huge part of it. They got into something that they weren't ready for.
I am so happy to hear you have enjoyed your life. It sounds like your choices were well thought out. Congratulations!
What is your social life like now? Do you mix with people of all ages. I am 55 and already I am planning on how to improve my social life. I think as we get older, we lose friends and relatives, even our partners and I need to plan for when that happens particularly as I live in a rural area. I don't really want to be in a over 80 club when I get older as I like having mixed groups round me both women and men.
@@beaulieuc8910 Me and the lady are largely introverts and don't do much socializing and we both left the big city long ago and don't miss it. Most of my family is dead and hers are spread way out ranging from Arizona to Vermont (we're in the midwest) Right now we're not really concerned about what the surviving partner will do if one of us dies. Living life day by day and being happy.
I’m 23 and told my mom I didn’t want kids in fifth grade. She told me I’d change my mind but I still don’t want them. Too damn expensive and I just don’t want them
You can always sponsor through World Vision. One of the best moves for the cause of children.
Another excellent suggestion!
So happy to find a Childfree youtuber! ❤️
There’s a lot of us out there ;)
No kids = more money for myself, more freedom, less heartache and generally more fun.
Kid = expensive, less money for yourself, less freedom, more heartache, and generally less fun.
I will take the first option coz its a no brainer!
I’m a 28 year old single man, no wife no kids. I would like to get married but not really sure about having kids. I honestly don’t know if I see myself as a father. I don’t have the means to support a child to begin with. I like my free and easy lifestyle. When I get married I want my wife and I to be one of those couples where we travel and go wherever we want whenever we want. I’m more focused on putting my life together and growing as a person.
That’s a great goal! As long as you’re open and upfront about it while dating I’m sure you’ll find someone who shares that mindset. :)
The other factor is if you can mentally handle it. Mentally I already know I can’t do it since I’m already going through a lot of anxiety and depression and I’m thankful that I have a way of dealing with it through Djing and producing music which I’m thankful for everyday of my life and I cannot complain.🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
That’s a very good point! Not everyone has what it takes. Raising kids takes a lot of mental strength.
My mother shouldn’t have had kids, she didn’t have the strength of mind and this led to problems
I’m sorry to hear that. There are a lot of people in a similar position and it’s very sad.
Ye, I’m autistic, have adhd and Ocd, am single with no kids even though I’m middle-aged. I have to have people to look after me, like home helps, and I have trustees who my father appointed before he passed. I like kids, but I can’t hold a job, and have problems making decisions, so kids would be out of the window. I’m pretty sure my mum had some disorder, there seems to be cases of it in the family. I still have issues over my childhood. Although it was a reasonable childhood and I always had a good standard of living. I wasn’t battered literally, but one or two things were out of place. I remember doctors, and other officials being involved occasionally, because she couldn’t cope and didn’t know how to handle things. She never did ever ‘get things’. I forgive her because that’s just the way she was. But she did say she was never mad keen on the idea of kids and it was my dads idea to have children. They could only have me, & I was born late to them. I used to get upset at this comment - but now I understand, I’ve come across so many unhappy scenarios of adults and children. Maybe she knew her own limitations, & was raised by a father who couldn’t stand kids. These things can also be genetic as well. Genetics often dictate our attitudes and choices. And not everyone is cut out to be a parent, or carer of children. In the past this wasn’t recognised, but it is now
Thank you so much for adding your voice to the mix. It’s wonderful to have this kind of representation so others can see your story and know they’re not alone. I appreciate that you gave this so much thought.
Great video! Thank you for sharing❤ I’m 35 and childfree. I love this life.
Yay! I'm so happy for you!
I’m a Childfree guy and I don’t get judged the way women are. IT IS WHAT IT IS. Sadly. Happy New Year 👍
Yeah, that’s why bringing awareness to the unfair way in which men and women are treated differently is an important step to changing this inequality.
29 and childfree here! I just do not want to have kids! I know i won't be putting them first. I grew up in a mentally abusive household, always compared to other people, deprived of love and affection when i wasn't perfect or praise worthy by complete strangers to me, and had to act like an adult. Now it is time to spoil and raise my inner child and put myself first for once!
It takes real strength of character to figure that out and accept that part of you. Well done for putting yourself first when you recognized that you needed it.
Good for you 💜
Nothing about parenting has ever been remotely desirable or attractive to me. From being pregnant for 9 mths to the pain of childbirth, to years of dealing with children and everything that goes with it. The loss of freedom, time and resources. The chronic stress and anxiety and worry. NO thanks.
It's a good thing we all have a choice and get to decide for ourselves whether we want to be a parent or not. ^_^
Hey Rose I just want to say thank you for making this video it it really helped help a lot and I completely understand now but I rather be a aunt so I can spoil my nieces and nephews and send them home and I rather be a dog mom 🙏💜
Fur babies can be the best kind of babies sometimes. :)
41 no children and no regrets.
So happy for you, Tonika! ^_^
Im glad I have no children even more during Covid ...I would not like to home school 😩
Trust me, as a teacher, a lot of parents realized that homeschooling is harder than they thought.
male, childfree, 37 at time of the following:
Traveling: I'd always given my Mom hotel phone numbers in case she had an emergency, or just wanted to check on me ( was before cell phones )
had done this for several years and several trips per year.
This was a simple one: Memorial Day weekend in Montreal. 5 days.
so this one time, for the first time, out of nowhere she says to me :
"you know if you had kids you wouldn't be able to do that"
I didn't know what to say other than than "yeah...." all the time thinking
1. I don't have kids
2. I'm not planning on.
3. Are you trying to talk me out of having kids? you don't have to cause I have no plans
4. didn't think fast enough but if I did I would have said, really, I know a couple who had kids
and they ALL took a trip to Montreal 27 years ago......I THINK the parents had a good time.
I know the son did....... because he was I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now this trip was mid-summer, not Memorial Day weekend..... so school was out and my father was on vacation.
so maybe my Mother only said it because Memorial Day around here, school was still in session and I was leaving on Thursday and not returning until Tuesday to make the 368 mile trip more worthwhile.....
Your mom was right in thinking that generally having kids does limit a lot of families from making trips during school term, but not all families. A lot of people manage to make it work. So I wouldn’t want to discourage anyone who wants to do both. It’s all up to the individual to manifest what they want in life. Thanks for sharing your experience. :) So glad to hear you’re enjoying your chosen path!
I agreed with everything you said its not selfish to not have kids you're doing the right thing by not putting one in a hard cruel world
Thanks, Shanika. Love your profile pic, by the way :)
Women feel pressured by their families to “give grandparents grandchildren.” Hot f&cking mess.
It’s so unfair, isn’t it, Jennifer?
I never thought I would marry or have kids and had a condition where I couldn't have them anyways. Ended up getting that fixed, got married and I adore my daughter. Currently contemplating having another. Love being a mother but didn't like pregnancy much. I am surprised people care so much about whether other people desire children. It is very responsible to sterilize yourself or make sure to avoid pregnancy if you know you don't wanna reproduce. I have nothing but respect for that.
I’m so happy to hear you got to experience motherhood since you enjoy it. ^_^ What a wonderful thing! You sound like a lovely mother, Brittney.
I have two children, a boy and a girl, I got what I wanted and they are a blessing to me, I'm quite certain I would've regretted it if I didn't have any and I feel I would've failed if I didn't have any, I admit it's not easy but having children, well, it really worked for us.
I’m so glad to hear that it works for you, Andrew. :) They truly are a blessing when you’re the type of person who enjoys being a parent and considers it something you would’ve otherwise regretted. ^_^
@@happyandauthentic Thank you for your very kind words
Amazing and smart woman in the world.
So cool being childfree.
Less from suffering.
I certainly enjoy the company of children. There’s nothing wrong with socializing with them in general. I just don’t want any of my own.
My reasons:
-I'm autistic as well as possibly my grandfather and I don't wanna give my kids anything challenging like that
-I hate most kids, especially boys
-I value my freedom too much
-I grew up abused in all ways and don't want my kids to be abused by peers or, you know, me hitting them, which is the last thing I ever wanna do because my mom messed me up that way.
-I'm not as patient as I wanna be
-Can't deal with loud noises/people
-Teenage rebellion? Nope. I'd probably wind up in jail via insanity
-Most people suck and I don't want my kids to endure that
-I don't want my kids to inherit my mental illnesses
-Earth is dying, so, what fairness would it be bringing them into a nearly dead planet?
Your reasons sound well thought out. I’m glad you know yourself so well.
You are a beautiful person. Thank you so much for this video! ❤
Aww Taiko, that felt so good to receive! Thank you so much for the comment! ^_^
You forgot the excruciating pain of pregnancy and childbirth and potential risks and complications to yours and your child's body. My friend's baby died at 10 months old because of improper delivery. He was at the hospital the whole time and she was with him almost every second of every day. There are also miscarriages which so many women have, and it is a hush-hush topic, which some would argue are a bigger torture than actually delivering a child. There is no deeper pain than losing a child at any stage.
That’s very true. I didn’t mention it because I know it’s a very triggering and traumatic issue for some.
agreed. my relative was killed at 26 in childbirth, childbirth can kill you.
@@beaulieuc8910 oh god true
I'm not sure if I wanna live childfree yet. I'm willing to research a little more. BUT, I like 100% agree with most of this
just watch some crime shows.. and you will see if kids are for you
I am a millennial, and never thought about having kids in my life. My excuse, too busy and I am very jealous with my me time. I want to travel while I am young. Enjoy my life without any strings attached. I like my freedom and enjoy my relationship with my boyfriend to do what we like. Having fun and enjoying life thats what happiness looks like for me .
It sounds like a lovely life indeed, Illy. ^_^
I'm 63. I have never been married and I don't have any kids. And I'm very happy being single and childless.
I was raised in a family of 8 kids. Six brothers, one sister, and myself. Four of my brothers are mentally handicapped. But sadly, one of them passed away back in July of 2000. It wasn't easy growing up in a family of eight kids. Because of my family life when I was growing up, as well as my Catholic upbringing, I chose not to get married and have kids. I wanted to work and travel instead.
She definitely brought up a few good points about working and having a kid at the same time. When it comes to working mothers, most employers are still living in the days of June Cleaver, Ozzie and Harriet, Margaret Anderson, and Alice Mitchell. Both parents have to work full time today just to survive. I don't know how these women today can work full time and take care of a family at the same time. I just couldn't do it. In my 40 years in the workforce, I have never been disciplined or even fired from a job due to child care issues. An employer can count on me to come in on time and put in a full day of work.
You are such an inspiration! :) Thank you for sharing that with us. I think it’s important to show a balanced view from people of all stages of life and genders. I can completely sympathise with your experience. 8 kids...yikes.
She also mentioned that this world is a terrible place to raise a kid. This world has been troubled for centuries, and yet, women still have children. My grandparents were raised during World War I. My parents were raised during the Great Depression and World War II. I was raised during the Vietnam War, Watergate, the civil rights movement, the assassinations of both the Kennedy brothers and Martin Luther King, the race riots in the inner cities, the anti-war protests, the Bay of Pigs, the Cuban Missile Crisis, the Manson Family murders, the Kent State shootings, the conflicts in the Middle East, and the Energy Crisis.
We don't know when the world's going to come to an end. After all, Jesus said that nobody knows the day nor the hour of His return. Only the God the Father knows that. Don't take this personally, but I have to disagree with her on this.
I can appreciate your position. I wasn’t raised during a war, so it’s hard for me to fully understand what that would be like. Although I personally wouldn’t want to have children during a war any more than I do now.
@@happyandauthentic You're quite welcome. Not everybody's cut out to be a parent. And don't let anybody judge you simply choose not to have children.
You definitely made a few valid points in this video. Children are very expensive. It costs hundreds of thousands dollars a year just to raise a child. And sleep deprivation. You don't have to worry about waking up in the middle of the night to deal with a crying and colicky baby, feeding that baby, and changing poopy diapers. And of course, there's the terrible twos.
You can also go shopping without hearing "Mommy, can I have this? "Mommy, can I have that?" And so forth. And whenever you tell the child "No," he or she will have a full-blown temper tantrum until you cave into their demands.
As far as relationships go, more than half the marriages in this country end up in divorce, and there are too many custody battles. Even if you get divorced, you still have to pay child support, or else, they'll haul you right off to jail. And there are way too many kids being raised in a single-parent home. I just don't want any part of this.
And if you love to travel, you can plan your vacations around your job schedule; and not around a school schedule. A lot of these schools don't allow family vacations during the school year. They consider them to be unexcused absences and they also violate the states' mandatory attendance laws.
Also back in early 70's, Bill Cosby starred in a short-lived NBC sitcom where he played a high school gym teacher in Los Angeles. In a two-part episode, a really bad thunderstorm hits Los Angeles. His pregnant neighbor had gone into labor and he was unable to get her to the hospital because the streets were flooded. Therefore, she delivered the baby at home instead. In real life, I am afraid of thunderstorms, and I would really freak out if that was me. They would have had to give me general anesthesia. But unfortunately, they don't do that when women are in labor and they're about to deliver. That also attributed to my decision as well.
Those are all fantastic points! I absolutely agree with all of them
Thank you. I'm 31 and childfree.
You sound happy about that decision. :) Good for you!