2nd therapist appointment at the Laurels gender identity clinic
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- Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024
- Hi peeps, I had my 2nd appointment yesterday so just a little (well its not quite little!) catch up. Also talking about how its all feeling and the emotions Im currently finding myself struggling with.
Thank you mate, you are completely right and I have decided to take the meds, started last night. I need a little lift so I can get my fight back. It helps so much to get such amazing comments and support. Dont know what Id do without you guys! Thanks Chris :)
Finn I really appreciate your emotional honesty on this. It is frustrating having to wait when you are so ready to start already. The best thing you can do is to distract yourself so the time goes more quickly. You will be there soon, and I cant wait for the video when you are so excited to have had your first dose.
It's a blessing to have someone like you in the world Finn! Because you're so honest! It's a very healing trait to bring to the world I think - for everyone - meaning you and other people. I'm thinking I get the paradox thing.. it's like you're in a great space now because you're able to define who you are more so than when you were pre-trans, but because being a trans male isn't generally automatically accepted by society at the moment due to lack of awareness etc out there, that the experience
Thanks for sharing Finn. There are so many ups and downs with transition and it helps greatly to know we all feel some of the same things at one time or another.
Haha! That made me chuckle, cheers mate! I am thinking that trying this medication is the way forward, at least just for a short while to get me over this hump. I am so touched by your offer thank you my friend, it helps so much knowing that Im not alone in all this.
Thank you Daniel, you are right, this is not forever, it will pass! just feels a lttle uncomfortable right now. Thanks for the offer of a chat, means a lot my friend.
Thanks my friend, its always good to know i make sense as sometimes I worry I get myself more than others do lol! It is a horrid stage, limbo land, constantly having to explain who i am so that people see me...but hopefully not for much longer. It is bittersweet indeed. Thanks so much for your comments mate, I hope things move along quickly for you too.
Hi mate, it does help so much, we have an amazing network of support and understanding here. Thanks man and take care :)
Hi Finn,
I understand your frustration. The hardest thing is to be patient throughout the process to commence T. You've made your decision and I know you want to maintain the momentum and get on with it. I take a low dose anti-depressant-it was the best thing I did, simply because it took the edge off life and got me through the day to day and helped me keep a level head throughout the changes. It will help for as long as you need it, there's no shame in that. Take care and look after you :)
Thank you kris, I know your right and it helps so much to know Im not the only one going through this and that others have gone through it and survived :) I have amazing firends, you are one of the best :) Cheers my friend
Hello my friend :) I think its common for us to feel this way, its not suprising after spending years wrestling with our inner turmoil and confusion, Awesome that you have your appointment soon and I wish you the best of luck :)
Hi James, yes i saw your recent vid. Its hard putting our lives into the hands of others isnt it, its a very frustrating proccess but hopefully will be for the best in the long run. Im not overly happy to be back on the meds, but i see the sense in it so am practicing accaptance! Take care man and thanks for your comments :)
Hi mate, nice one that you are so close! 9 weeks is not long, I know, its just being patient is hard work and the closer it gets the harder it is to wait! Will soon come around :)
Thank you Zan, I really dont have long to wait now, I think Im just so tired and emotionally spent, and you are right about the meds. I have started taking them and Im just going to monitor it closely and see how I go with them. I definately could do with a boost! Cheers my friend :)
Good to know we are all in this together isnt it, and its good to know from others who are further along the part that this stuff DOES get easier! We just have to keep hanging in eh!
Thanks for your lovely comments my friend. If there is one thing I would like more of in this world its honesty. I like sharing myself honestly with others, it makes for more meaningul interations in the world i think. The paradox thing is exactly how you describe, its so good to be understood! Being trans does indeed bring so many gifts, truly knowing oneself, living authentically, but its a painful proccess all the same. I truly believe that the reward will come in time & it all be worth it :)
Hiya :) yes, I have been making sure Ive kept up with my gym work and running, it definately helps, i feel better after, its just hard to get myself there in the first place! But yes, you are definately right :)
Chin up dude, good times are just around the corner. And I know how you feel about life being good and bad. It's great feeling that you know who you are but bad knowing that someone else decides when you can truly be yourself. It's tough but it's not forever and hopefully next month will be the start of something awesome. Hope you feel better though, if you ever need a chat..about anything, I'm always about :)
Hi buddy, you are right, it is so hard to be patient, and I think Im just tired from continually trying to be! Thank you for your comments about anti D's, thats kind of what Im thinking, as if it just takes the edge of it may help me to get a bit of my fight back, I can always stop them if I dont like them...we'll see! Its a difficult choice for me. Thanks so much mate
Hi mate, yep that precicely sums it up!!! I am looking forward to this frustration lessening a bit! yes the gym work does indeed boost my natural T. Im also taking a few supplements to help boost my natural T, but I wont take anything else as it could then effect the doctors decision to start me on T, as Ive not got long to wait now, I dont want to mess that up!
Keep your chin up dude, I think your fab and you have a. Lot going for you & you have good things to come!! You will get there!!
Thanks Bexk, Im throwing myself into gym work :) Also have a visit to my mums planned so that will help with distraction too. Hopefully the time will fly and there will soon be a very excited testosterone filled vid very soon! Thanks so much mate
Hey I know how you feel, it's so hard waiting! I've done visiting the doctor bit to refer me, now just waiting for something to say ill get an appointment to start the sessions etc! It's the not knowing that is the hardest! You're lucky, you have a goal in sight and I'm really happy for you! Just take each day as it comes and set up little goals every couple of days so you can have small achievements! Eventually they will make up a huge achievement and then you'll be already there before know.
i love ur updates, i know they are hard and u must feel rly frustrated and low because i feel the exact same, but ur helping people like me so keep going :) ur a rly strong person and ur doing great in 9 weeks time ur life is gonna change for the better its very excited! and like to said u got to feel it to heal it, the shit before the gd if u like hehe u can do this!! :)
Thank you Ash, great to hear from you man! Was wondering how you were doing, hoping to see an update from you soon :)
Mate, I couldnt have put it better! The wait is fucked up! I agree some time to walk a male role is needed, before embarking on medical transition, but I think its far to long a time and so many guys end up quite seriously depressed. It does need sorting out really. Thanks so much mate, :D
I know this video is really old, but I just wanted to say thanks. I stumbled on it. Watching these early videos are exactly what I need right now. I keep thinking I should be fine because I'm getting what I want but it's hard. And being able to look at your later videos is really inspiring. I relate to you so much.
Hi Chris, its amazing to think how far Ive come since I made this video so take heart, it WILL get better. Change is hard, even change we want, and change on this scale is massivly hard. be gentle with yourself, keep things simple, set small goals, and reach out to those you can trust. Im always happy to chat
FinnTheInfinncible Thanks for the reply. I think I really need to focus on the idea of setting small goals.
Bless you Jack, thanks my friend. I think you are right about the steps...shitty-happy-frustrated and back to shitty again! Its going to be like that for a while I guess! And yes, just wake me up when Im all man! Its great to know things are going well with you, onwards and upwards for us both eh mate! Take care bud
Another suggestion, start writing down how you feel because then you will be able to express yourself more when you understand how you're feeling inside! And once you a clear in your head, you'll be able to say it clear when you have your next appointment! Also, I make a 6 banana smoothie with rice milk for breakfast! It's an amazing mood lifter and I feel great for the whole day! Try it :)
I also understand your views on anti-depressants. I went on la low dose 3 yrs ago & I was very reluctant to do it because of the stigma around if but it's the best thing I did. U need to be a bit selfish in life and think of yourself & what you need in life to get to where you want to be & if that means reaching out to have help in any possible way then there's nothing to be ashamed about, your taking control!
Hi there :) Waiting and not knowing really is so hard, I hope you hear soon. Cheers my friend :)
Im in Oxford. Some GIC's are now taking referrals straight from GP's, your best bet is to ring the GIC you wish to attend and ask them what their procedure is as they are currently all doing things differently! Good luck and drop me a message if you get stuck!!
Cheers Kayla, Im sure 9 weeks will go fast :)
6 banana's?? wow!!! Good idea re writing stuff down for my next visit, think Ill do that :)
It IS really frustrating to wait for all this. I'm lucky to be on T but now I'm waiting for surgery and name change. I feel like its forever away! If I could pass out and wake up in a year after T and surgery it would be awesome =/ Don't be scared of doubting taking these steps. I cried for an hour before my first shot and in the last three weeks I have been the happiest ive been in a long time =) I'm thinking this will come in steps- shitty then happy then frustrated and so on =/ Good luck!
of choosing to accept and be trans male causes you to draw on strengths and so many other qualities that if you weren't trans you may never have the privilege of meeting those parts of yourself and therefore the fact of being a trans male is bringing out the character of who you are, and it sounds like you're very happy to be meeting who Finn is through this whole experience
Hey Finn you need to give yourself a break bud! You beat yourself up to much! It's so understandable that your feeling the way you are especially if u are bringing up areas from your childhood which your uncomfortable talking about! Please don't ever apologise. We have all been there at some point in our lives. There's nothing wrong feeling frustrated and wanting this to happen yesterday!
I know it's so hard as I have some really bad days & bad slumps but u need to remind yourself on where you were a few years ago & where you have got to & try & stay positive! They say to always say one good thing to yourself a day to keep yourself going! Your a fab guy & a fab spirit! You will get through this and before you know it you will blink & you will have that T in ya bum! Lol. Also make sure you keep talking to people or youtube as its better out than in lol
Cheers mate, I could do with a few of those :)
Aww m8. Chin up dry them tears. Everything will be fine soon just wait them nine weeks and url get T. I'm tempted to ask to go to the laurels aswell x
It really really must be terrible to have to wait so long.... but I had to wait as well. And after waiting 7 years before ever even deciding to start, then making my first appt, then finding out that the first appt is a physical, then the next is a psych appt, then finally the next you would begin. I began my appts in April and didn't begin T til August. Frustrating....but you are not alone in the waiting game. Just know that finally, in the end, it will go your way.
hi finn, where u in uk? im somewhere north in london. . do you think its possible to just go to a GIC without getting any referral from a GP or psychotherapist?
and, Re: medication---- testosterone IS medication (for the rest of your life).... and antidepressants short term which may help with feeling down and help ease the anxiety would be good. If you look at the T as medication, then you certainly could understand that sometimes your brain may nopt be releasing enough serotonin to feel good because of all these negative thoughts. Serotonin re-uptake can be a good thing.
hi i got my first appoinment in feb at leeds transgender clinic and i suffer from really.bad depression iv put it down to me.not being who i want yo.be thats male i know.its can be a very long road n can take upto year to get were i want to be :)
"A bum full of testosterone" is quite a visual! I'm sorry you aren't feeling up. No shame in feeling frustrated with the wait...everyone does. You are not confused...you are just damn ready! Sometimes, medication is the only things that helps you over the bumps. No shame in that either. So, what can we do for you? Next time you don't want to get up, make a vid in bed so we can pull you up!! Finn, if you ever want to talk, let me know. I mean it.
Hi James, yes i saw your recent vid. Its hard putting our lives into the hands of others isnt it, its a very frustrating proccess but hopefully will be for the best in the long run. Im not overly happy to be back on the meds, but i see the sense in it so am practicing accaptance! Take care man and thanks for your comments :)