making your child struggle because you did, toxic parenting
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2024
- #toxic #relationship #trending
To be clear, “toxic parent” isn’t a medical term or a clearly defined concept. When people discuss toxic parents they are typically describing parents who consistently behave in ways that cause guilt, fear, or obligation in their children. Their actions aren’t isolated events, but patterns of behavior that negatively shape their child’s life.
The thing is, parents are human beings. And that means that they may make mistakes, yell too much, or do potentially damaging things to their kids - even unintentionally. But their impulse is to do better and make things right.
A toxic parent, however, is more concerned with their own needs than whether what they’re doing is harmful or damaging. They likely won’t apologize or even admit that what they are doing is wrong. And the abuse or neglect tends to be ongoing or progressive.
"Who was the first person to let you know your feelings don't matter??" "My parents"
I felt that in the DEPTHS OF MY SOUL!!!!!
The wildest part is that people know they weren’t happy with the way their parents treated them and then turn around and treat their kids the same way
This is my personal opinion, but I think when we feel in our hearts we didn't like the treatment, we either choose something different which in a lot of cases results in even more separation from the parent, or (subconsciously?) choose the option that puts you more in their favor and increases the probability of acceptance from our parents .. and the cycle continues.
@@ladvita32 100%, it’s why my sister became a people pleaser and I became the exact opposite. She always sought our mother’s approval while I watched her and saw it was pointless to seek approval from others. Neither of us have kids
@@ccannon1 yep, same here. My brother was the "golden child" and my mother used him for self validation and to shield herself from me telling the truth. I was very distant from my mother. Since her death he's been in an ugly downward spiral because they were each other's hype team. I do feel awful for him bc he was shaped from a young age. He still doesn't understand and lashes out at me often like she used to. He's trying to keep her alive in that way, I guess. Life is weird. Be good to your kids.
tbh parents who have this mentality always were spoiled growing up. they don’t actually understand the pain and trauma they are doling out. spoiled lil kid.
This of parent is the reason why successful children don't reach back and help out family. If elders expect children to struggle, then elders receive ZERO credit when that child becomes successful. Don't expect the best care from your offspring in old age when you gave the offspring the bare minimum in their youth.
If dude hates kids so much, why even have them? To have someone to bully? The lady is correct: dude is NOT ok. He legit approaches parenting like hazing!
Unique!! Stay the course! I don't have kids and I'm 56. I am soooo content and happy.
First thing an abusive parent or unaware say is “ you were clothed never hungry” like this the depression. Stay selfish y’all until your mental, physical, financial health is overflowing so you’re not yelling and calling folk complaining.
Spoiled children are not created by loving parents who actually attend to their children’s non physical needs. They are made by people who are too lenient (permissive parenting) or parents who are absent (so the child could do what ever without consequences). Only providing the bare minimum is not going to teach your kids how to fend for themselves, but is leaving them very unprepared for a lot if things. While there are things that kids MUST figure out for themselves things like financial literacy is not one of them.
Giving your kids what you know they need and what you know you lacked as a kid yourself, making it easier for them to experience life doesn’t prevent you from teaching them about adversity and confront them with harsh truths and the toughness of life or face the fact that in life even when good is given there’s still effort and work and sacrifices to put in. There are ways to teach your kids about that so that they don’t become spoiled brats, making life purposely harder for them just because that’s the way you had it, isn’t one of them. It’s irresponsible and that way of thinking just highlights the fact that you don’t want to admit that parenting is not for you.