The Parents Aren’t All Right
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- Опубликовано: 11 окт 2024
- For years, research on hyper-attentive parenting has focused on all the ways that it can hurt children.
Now, the U.S. government is reframing that conversation and asking if our new era of parenting is actually bad for the parents themselves.
Claire Cain Miller, who covers families and education for The New York Times, explains why raising children is a risk to your health.
Guest: Claire Cain Miller (www.nytimes.co...) , a reporter who writes for The Upshot at The New York Times.
Background reading:
• The surgeon general warned about parents’ stress (www.nytimes.co...) , a sign that intensive parenting may have become too intense for parents.
• Read the surgeon general’s essay (www.nytimes.co...) about parent stress.
For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily (nytimes.com/the...) . Transcripts of each episode will be made available by the next workday.
Soon, you’ll need a subscription to keep full access to this show, and to other New York Times podcasts, on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Don’t miss out on exploring all of our shows, featuring everything from politics to pop culture. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts (nytimes.com/po...) .
This is a needed conversation. I work in higher ed and I also have an 8 year old. Hyper-vigilance is NOT good for the kids or the parents. We used to call it helicopter parenting, then snowplow parenting. Now it's to the point where it's so ridiculous cute nicknames for it are no longer funny. And the thing is if you buck against this you are considered neglectful, which is socially isolating at the bare minimum.
This is why I don't understand the confusion around global birth rate decline. It's not some confusing mystery, it's an extremely obvious and natural response to the cost and risk of modern parenting. All the stable adults that I know who are considering a family think that if you can't do it right, you shouldn't do it at all. They also happen to be self-aware enough to understand that they either couldn't do it right, or that the cost of doing it right would be too much to bear. Apparently, according to the research, they're right.
Productive citizens are a valuable resource for societies, but until governments pony up the cash and culture to support parents, they will continue to lose access to that resource. FAFO 🤷
💯
Yeah it's crazy that there are even any doubts about why that's happening
They prefer to have new citizens from other countries which already beared the cost ...
It is WILD to me the amount of mental gymnastics it takes to turn "parenting is becoming a public health hazard" into "this is because of how people are choosing to parent". The US is ACTIVELY promoting toxic individualism as an ideal. The US is the only developed country that deprives its citizens of parental leave and universal healthcare. Its the only developed country that forces families to put their newborn infants into group care with strangers. The US actively passes legislation that ensures kids are at very real risk of gun violence. It actively promotes the persecution of certain children and families. And huge shocker, the US is the only place where parenting messes up parents enough to be considered a public health crisis. AND instead of looking the very obvious social factors that make parenting so overwhelming in the US compared to other developed countries, folks are gonna pretend it's about individual parenting choices and individual psychology. Whatever it takes to avoid having to face what you are actively and intentionally doing, as a country, huh?
There's something bigger going on in the world. European nations highest happiness ratings and best social safety nets are experiencing declining birth rates. Russia a nation that has always ex told some sort of misery on its population has a declining birth rate like they've never seen. China has pulled more people out of poverty in a shorter time period than any country in history has a rapidly declining birth rate. I really think Japan is the one to watch because they are further down this road then all the other nations in the world.
@mrsmegz while humans don't believe it by individual standards, together as a group we act as a large organism. The earth is changing physically and spiritually (changing religious power) and politically. Humans recognize this change and adapt. It is not the end of the world for population decline. It could be a self correcting measure, but regardless of what a few of us individually believe, the organism is shrinking. Neither good nor bad. What we should do is think about the effects this shrink will make: what will be problems and what will be a benefit. If you can learn to find solutions to the problems creatively with low resources, you can begin your journey to actual wealth.
America is very very backwards on so many levels...the poverty, the medical insurance scam system, and don't get me started on rhe fact ots even remotely possible that a 34 x convicted felon can run for President, much less it be a close race 🤯🤯🤯
Yeah, what's happening everywhere is that parenting offers very little attractive for prospective parents. From the economic standpoint to how society will judge you and how institutions and public policy and urban planning will ignore you and your kid's needs. And later on, when having your kids turn into adults, society will not expect anything from them as sons and daughters. They can even publish a book called "I'm glad my mom is dead" and be interviewed and adored everywhere. I bet that wouldn't happen with the title: "I'm glad my daughter is dead". If your kids are as@h@les it's supposedly you fault. So in short,
now you get no social or economic advantages as a parent but carry a huge financial and emotional risk. Humanity deserves a low birth rate.
Preach it! You hit it on the nail. You're never going to harm your kid by being connected with them. You will harm your kid when you ignore/neglect them. Not to mention the costs of everything has gone up. Healthcare. Education. Global Warming etc.
So I'm a new foster parent and this is my first time dealing with schools outside of being a student myself and being an adjunct college professor. Omg. Parents. I am so sorry. I already hated administrators due to my experiences as a professor, but Jesus wept, They need to stop. This month alone they have scheduled 3 family activity nights and they to guilt the parents into showing up including telling the kids over and over that it's going to be a fun night and imply that they don't want to miss out. I work 40hrs. My husband works 40hrs. We are exhausted. We are burned out already and we've only been doing this 3 months. Everyone wants something from us and that not counting the poor kiddo who is the actual person that deserves our attention. Now this school wants me start showing up at 5:30 on a Tuesday night to let the kid go back and play with friends some more? No. I am done. I need time to recharge. This is when we have dinner. This time leads into bath time and reading time and bedtime. Routine is incredibly important for foster children. Please, Stop it. Let your teachers go home. Let us be at home. Let us reset. I am done. And I feel guilty for saying it and it makes me feel like I'm a failure and a bad foster parent for saying no we need to skip all this Bs. But I'm putting my foot down. We can't live like this. NONE of us, including bio parents. We need self care and for our family self care is family time after school and work and also time where the kiddo plays by himself and my husband and I do our own thing in the same vicinity where we're available but not actively engaging the entire time. I'm done with this school trying to bully us into spending all of our time with them for reasons that make zero sense to me. I am so damn tired and honestly, If our foster kiddo is able to reunite with his family (which is our goal, obviously), we're considering no longer fostering. It isnt the kid that is breaking us, it's the schools and all the hyper parenting expectations. Shit my parents didn't have to do when I was a kid in the 80s. So insane.
Hey..teacher......Leave the KIDS ALONE! (another brick in the wall..Pink Floyd) More freedom and more free play...let them figure shit out
Please make sure when you foster children, your foster child isn't a forced orphan from some type of criminal activity, fraud or trafficking scheme by our very own government. We need foster parents and parents to unite and stop this from happening to children. Same practice continues as did back in the 1850 with the orphan trains. Children need their biological families more than anything, even if it can't be mom and dad.
Administrators, the retail managers of education
As a teacher, ALL of this. We are required to be at these functions as part of our jobs, unpaid. As a parent, ALL of this. I can’t give to my children or my students from an empty well.
You don't have anything to be guilty about. You have a scheduling conflict with this school activity, that's all. You're giving yourself and your foster kid structure, which is job 1. The school is there to support that, not make extra demands of you. The educated class in the U.S. is way too deferent to educational institutions. Democracy is ultimately about trusting your own judgement as a reasonable adult.
I was raised by elderly relatives and they essentially left me to play on my own during the day and would interact with me at for a couple of hours before bed. That was it. Their health deteriorating caused more issues than them letting me alone. I knew how to amuse myself and learned to read at an early age. While I've never been the most outgoing person thanks to just being a natural introvert and homebody, I still had little to no trouble exploring or handling things.
This ouroboros of you and your kid being up each other's butts is the most draining thing I've ever done. My son is almost 5, and I have to fight to carve out time for myself because my husband and I both fell for the "Parent is a verb" stuff. I'm tired. My kid has trouble acclimating to not being the center of attention all the time to everyone, and it shows.
That third spaces have all but disappeared and with fewer kids in the neighborhood in general and my old head neighborhood especially has not helped.
I love my kid, I love him so much, but I want him to have the sort of childhood I had, that my husband had, playing in creeks and riding bikes, without me worrying, but I can't. With people having CPS on speed dial, with that woman in Texas being arrested for child abandonment on her front porch...It seems impossible.
I feel exactly the same way. I can't help thinking about all the things I felt free to do as a child that would now constitute neglect. He's 8 years old, why is it such a travesty if he plays in his own backyard without my supervision? As he gets older, I wonder if it will ever be socially acceptable for him to have a sleepover or go to summer camp? Or is that neglect because he could be exposed to creep? How is my kid supposed to make friends if I always have to be there?
Parental neglect is what had you and your husband doing "those things". That is the issue. you admit to being raised by elderly (parental neglect) which meant they had limited mobility and knowledge and personal investment in your life plan. They let you run free because of insufficient care they had to offer, not because children should run free unfettered as a standard. I have to children under 3, never spent a day away from them and don't plan on it Children belong in a loving home primarily. Streets and creeks are for much later when they have achieved stability in the home physically and emotionally.
@@louis-vd3urBeing away from home and trusted to do things by myself or with friends offered me a sense of agency and power. I am a fairly intensive parent, but I also let my kid play for hours outside with his friends. Kids have to learn to problem solve and deal with others without their parents.
That is not true. Children are not capable of empathy for friendships. They need adult guidance for much longer than the average slacker parent is willing to admit or work for. 50 years of preschool and there is record male unemployment and female birth rate decline. Seems like the bad skills everyone is learning is not helping anyone and is undermine g the family. Letting children wander is about leaving mother alone to work rest cook or clean, stop pretending they are learning anything from other children except bad habits....
@louis-vd3ur I am sure you are a wonderful parent, but those ideas are very incorrect. Where are you getting your information? You sound like you are already a very involved parent, but it might help you to take child psychology and development courses to learn more about how children actually develop and what they need. Too much hovering over children is as detrimental as too much freedom, just in different ways. Children absolutely do need free, unstructured play with others around their age to help develop social skills and problem solving and a sense of competence and resilience. They also need care and guidance and supervision from parents. It’s not either or. It’s a healthy balance of both, in age appropriate ways. I believe you said you have kids under 3, so intense supervision makes sense at that age. As they grow older, however, they need increasing amounts of freedom or they can develop problems such as a lack of confidence since they have never had to tackle a healthy challenge on their own. Again, everything should be incremental and age appropriate for their development and skill levels, but kids do need time around other kids and some freedom. Mom or dad can’t step in and do everything for them forever, nor is that healthy to foster that kind of dependency.
As a young mother of three I was convinced that whatever was hardest was exactly what the experts would recommend to me. For example, breast is best, don't use a microwave to heat up milk (even after shaking) every meal should be homemade because convenient foods are junk foods, don't work too much and it is best to not work at all to provide the best care for them, you should homeschool, you should secure playdates and sign them up for 100 activities, etc.
One thing about the lack of independence is that it doesn't have to come from the parents. A lot of kids live in neighborhoods that are very isolated, spaced out, and far away from everything and they need to rely on parents to take them places and see friends. And that option isn't always available and as a result, technology creeps in to fill that gap in interaction. That's where our environment can start to trap us.
Intensive parenting is what we used to call helicopter parents. It is not good for children or parents. Children must be given chances to explore and be independent.
But safe places to explore are gradually shrinking.
Another stressor to add on to modern parents is the grandparents (IN GENERAL) are way less attentive and helpful than they used to be. (If that is not your experience you are incredibly lucky) They are also not understanding or empathetic to the issues. They tend to think that they had just as hard a time as we do, and no amount of data or self reflection IF they are even willing to engage in it, will change that. I understand this is a big generalization, but as an elder Millennial, with boomer parents, multiple sets bc of multiple divorces- they have all been mostly no help at all with our son, and I know SO many people of my generation, in my situation with unhelpful parents as well. It truly seems to be a generational phenomenon.
Free-ranging only works when the parents are still actively involved in their kid's lives. I currently live in a neighborhood where you can describe the kids as more "feral" than free...
What is the dating market value of a parent who lives in poverty but takes their kids to museums and does crafts with them? Pretty low. Society does not appreciate love as much as success.
This is a little ridiculous..
Think about our evolutionary history of parent child bonds..
They were always with us..
They were always exercising, working, learning by our side.
It is only in the development of complex societies and governments that we lost our attentive connection with our parents and children.
The science is showing us that we need that community and connection that we always had.
Absolutely. Imagine if we raised our children in groups rather than families isolated in individual homes.
Imagine if we created a society that prioritised the well-being of its citizens.
The group already exists, it's called family. Sex freaks should not have children. They are the ones creating this problem. Family is how you raise children and base who you marry. Outside of that women love to choose low earning men who they have to support so that they do not have to be wife and mother. Modern women like being whores. Whores on principle do not have families, they destroy them
Omfg "Intensive Parenting" meaning our Boomer parents built a world with no side walks, locked us out of the house all day with a water hose to drink from and beat us bloody for sport were doing it right..... (???)
Instead folks had kids and wanted them to feel secure and loved and not be assholes ... but they shouldn't feel guilty for existing
You know, the opposite of what we had
Me and my lady work in tech. We have no clue how people do this and raise a kid. She works 10+ a day and I work a bunch too. Make good money but not enough to buy a house here in the bay area so no kids for us. The only people I see here with kids are the PMC people with tons of money and 1 or 2 kids or borderline homeless people with 8. The middle just doesn’t try.
This is a real crisis, and I totally feel for you, but can't help myself: I cannot believe you call your partner "m'lady" and are still partnered with her.
Unionize.
Also not everything will be perfect but your efforts will not be in vain. You wont know until u r in the scenario
@@BuNnyDuDeDaRoO I agree 100%. A few friends have already tried at a large tech company. The vote failed and then they all got fired illegally.
@@odbhut424 lol, good one. :)
You don't need a house in the 'burbs to raise kids.
If I were watching TV with my mom or dad and they hit the pause button to explain something to me, I would be pissed.
I’m a mom and I do this with my 7yo son. I know it irritates him but sometimes I’m just like I’ve got to give him the 411 on what a word or phrase means. Despite being irritated when I do it, he does it for me now too sometimes. So, not sorry!
I'm 50, I'm so glad I didn't have kids. I wanted a baby on my 20s so I'd have 'someone to love me' - I had no clue. Thankfully, I saw through orher people how hard parenting is, and I decided hell no. Farbfrom "regretting" my choice as I got older, it just became more solidified
This podcast could talk about fecal matter I'd still listen because Michael's and his crew don't SCREAM like almost every other channel. They almost whisper..its so refreshing.
There are so many great possible topics:
Fecal transplants for patients with treatment-resistant _Clostridium difficile_ colitis
Population-level monitoring of the virome (virus biome) using wastewater
The archeology of coproliths
The public health effects of a demolished fresh- and wastewater infrastructure in Gaza
The rising incidence of colorectal cancers among people under 50, and if there's any association with constipation and a Western diet
Well now that teachers are straight jacketed, they can't teach our kids so we need to do it at home smh
This entire podcast reminds me so much of Didi Pickles from Rugrats, the criticism of relying on Dr Lipschitz and how it got magnified by social media. Some things never change hah: but yet it all hits so different now.
The problem is that the Didi’s of the world won
Who else was a latchkey kid who’s now a helicopter hyper parent??! 🙋🏾♀️😅
I’m 27 years old and my mom died when I was 10. This put into words what I’ve been feeling as to why I don’t want kids in the states
There is something much more insidious going on: parents do not know how to raise kids who respect them. That's why they are burnt out. Commanding respect is seen as a right wing authoritarian tendency, and parents are judged more harshly if they punish their child then if their child punishes them.
Yes, the ideal is “authoritative” parenting, not passive parenting nor authoritarian parenting, there’s a solid & effective middle ground.
The other day this barely dressed woman in the street attacked me for disciplining my son. Discipline needs to happen in public and private. Too many people do not believe that. They are chronically emotionally immature because their own parents failed. Americans are seriously fundamentally disordered.
Missing from this podcast: enforcement mechanisms.
Mandatory reporting. CPS. Dept of health and human services. Etc
Enforcement is much more severe than it was in years past, and failure to engage in “intensive parenting” can result in mandatory reporting.
I agree! I kept waiting and never once did they mention it's actually ILLEGAL most places to allow your children to even walk to school on their own, let alone play in the street/parks. And that CPS can jump in and steal them if someone reports on you. Not to mention, even if it wasn't, our parks and streets have been taken over by homeless mentally ill people where I live, so I couldn't let the kids out there alone for that reason either.
Right, I’ve to kindly reminded a lot of older folks in my life that’s it’s illegal to parent the way they parent us.
I use to sleep in the trunk space in our mini van on long car rides. My parents use to to leave us at an arcade all day as elementary age. Now there are” do not leave your kids unattended” signs at those kinds of places, which chances they’ll call the cops.
I was at baby shower last weekend and the conversation between parents was casually talking about the lies you are force to tell your child’s pediatrician about your parenting choices , out of fear of being reported. Things like lying about how newborn is sleeping in a crib and not co sleeping, or feeding baby food before 6 months, having newborn laying to long in a swing.
It’s definitely a related stressor for most parents, that our grandparents didn’t have.
Just here to say that homeless are victims of street violence more than they are ever the aggressors and children are usually the ones harming elderly because of what adult a have told them. Homeless run rampant in my area and they always have a nice word and smile for my child. But as Catholics we teach pity and sympathy for the poor, not reactionary fear and misunderstanding. I always imagine this could be my son/daughter and cry when I see them. Such poor souls
@@louis-vd3ur The way we treat the homeless in this country is monstrous. Good on you for being better than most.
Product of individualistic society i suppose
Thank you for this podcast🙃. Really hoping you can talk about single parenting with this trope of intensive parenting.
I left teaching because my students threatened to kill me, parents did nothing and the principle did not even want to know. Yes, kids are messed up mostly likely because of the parents but come on there has to be responsibility and accountability from the parents.
Most parents these days are just sex freaks who have babies. They are immoral, unethical, and deranged. Godless beings set on living empty lives of destruction. Homeschooling families are the only real ones left.....
It takes a toll on a society, seeing a generation of kids do less well than their parents and see life expectancy drop for the first time. Both things we can attribute to record wealth and income inequality, because they make upward socioeconomic even more elusive.
To be clear, the parents paying for their kids to be in private club soccer by 7 are the ones locking working-class kids out from opportunity, especially when it comes time for post-secondary education. Policymakers can and should do more _through legislation_ to keep the American dream alive.
The American Dream does not exist. Especially with the 1980 Money Act allowing rampant credit. American wealth does not exist and is not necessary for family life. The loss of a moral order and faith based life is why Americans can not obey natural human reasoning and have families.
A society facing they ruined a planet should think about their own maturity very seriously.
Read “the Coddling of the American Mind: How Good Intentions and Bad Ideas Are Setting Up a Generation for Failure” it’s remarkable. They start by talking about how the peanut allergy panic causes schools to ban it, then peanut allergies skyrocketed.
I'm so glad we are talking about this. ❤
What's funny is now parents will be talking to their therapists and doctors about how dangerous it is to be a parent. It's like another anxiety to treat.
Unpopular opinion but true --All of the parents I know who are unhappy and struggling are the ones who didn't stop with one. This idea that you *must* have more than one child is the problem.
And far too many people have gone into parenting without understanding the *modern* social contract.
Data supports this
100 percent, we had two toddlers when we felt ready. Good income, stable housing. I had my first ultrasound when the lockdown kicked in.
It’s been so hard. There is so little support and it’s so expensive I can’t function. I read articles every week saying I’m abusing my kids if I don’t do all this extra labor. I also worry so much about shootings and the way climate change already is burning down my state..:. I don’t know what we are suppose to do to fix this. Child care is more than my income so I can’t go back to work to fix our finances either.
Thank you for highlighting this issue more and I’m glad a bulletin came out. That was the first time my parents took me seriously when I told them how hard this has been on us
Seriously. There is no support anywhere
Really great that this did not discuss COVID at all.
39 year old, single, never married, no kids.
Advancing in career, better shape than ever, great hobbies
My married friends…easy to see why I had no kids
Good luck go cope harder
I also think this is why young men are so behind. The younger men as
Children were coddled and given less freedom than their sisters
Girls being given more freedom than their make siblings is not the trend I have seen in our culture, the opposite really.
Parents are the worst these days
Can confirm 😅
So validating 😅
soccer club for kindergartners is just baby nepotism by another name. "oh youre too tired to network for little Timmy? im so sorry. My little River is besties with little Phoenix and little Phonix aunt is the director for this prestigious school!, you really shouldnt miss out!"
I believe parents enroll so that toddlers can have motor skills, they can meet other parents, and they can have childcare consistently and reliably. Nepotism doesn't fit.....
@@louis-vd3ur I believe that you should look up the definition of nepotism because it absolutely does fit
they need to read Bryan Caplan
Oh yeah, and the nuclear family with a stay at home mom is horrible for the nation!! What a bunch of psychopaths.
I am so tired of being so hands on with my kids. If I’m not they throw fits, police and cps come around. My life literally revolves around my kids and their disruptive behavior.
Kids are supposed to play together and lean from each other. That has been taken away.
How do ignorant children learn from each other?
Take a look at the natural world. Have you ever seen a moose, otter, duck, etc. reading parenting books or committing their offspring to year round club sports?
Yet somehow they know what to do. If there is one thing that humans are really good at, it's that we can complicate the crap out of anything.
All this work and kids are dumber than ever
I think a whoooole lot of kids aren't getting this intensive parenting.
@@theundergroundlairofthesqu9261 in tensive parenting only happens when the parents are wealthy enough to not worry about if they need to skimp to pay the bills.
@@theundergroundlairofthesqu9261they’re getting iPad parenting
Selfdomestication
Haha as a stressed parent you all have lost the plot. This is like issue #1,001 contributing to the decline in my health. If we want to talk about why parenting is a health crisis let’s actually talk about that. Starting at the top.
Please tell us
Cool. You guys did a podcast about me!
Another incredibly important and informative episode!!
Yeah, as soon as I got to the part in “The Jungle” where Jurgis learns his infant son drowned in mud in the street and his other son was forced to live on his own at 11 because the family couldn’t support him I thought “geez those parents back in the 1800s had it easy.”
Here's a crazy insight: we're all going to die. You, me, our kids, their kids, everyone. What is all this striving for? Enjoy life. It's the best lesson you can teach your kids.
The kids do NOT have to do better than the parents. They can have perfectly decent lives if they have less. Sometimes less is more.
“Parental rights” is just a rationale to treat children like chattel
I think it is much more than that
lol so parents are parenting too hard 😂
Well I just sent this to a bunch of parents I know
Paid for by the cat lobby.
This is so dumb.
It's very simple. In the agricultural era, children were "assets" because they were future workers for the land. Today, they are liabilities who consume time and resources.
Intensive parenting (investing time and energy) ensures their future success and Independence ---making them "net neutral".
So the answer is simple. If you can't parent this way, don't have children.
This is applying an economic lens to a part of life that’s not meant to be seen through an economic lense. It’s a very western lens, and the western(and in particular American) approach to parenting is weird, and out of touch with reality… this is the issue, our culture is weird, your lens on this issue is perpetuating the weirdness
Finally, I now understand why my wife is nuts.
to me , it’s as though i had lost three CHILDREN : i lost 3 rabbits in three days ! i'm abominable sinner, that's why : i wish i had never existed ! i don't want to exist ever since they went to Heaven : i'm a monster : i feel guilty: i don't see the point of living without rabbits : i lost the three loves of my life : my progenitors won't adopt bunnies : life without bunnies, oh no, HORRIBLE !!! wha a sadness to not have bunnies ! i miss them ! i want them to be with me ! the worst is yet to come : now the r and d say they're going to DESTROY , MURDER my hens and dog: again because of my infame sins : oh NO, NO:: Maker , have mercy on my hens !!!! it's depressing losing your animals !! my rabbits and animals are my sole reason to live i think : i think i ain't got nothing else, no one else : empty house without rabbits :
room, living- room, therasse without caytlin, amanda and crystal my three rabbits : i think i should be in hell and they should be on the earth !! they were INNOCENT, they have NOT sinned !!! I have sinned !!! i'm the one who did bad stuff against the Maker and the curse went on my animals, not on me ?? i feel like my animals got PUNISHED , not me : i've been unjust, not the Maker: he's just : i wish i had never done all these abominations so that crystal, amanda and caytlin would be alive: i want to see you, pet you, look at your beautiful eyes, my fauve de bourgogne rabbit, my mini rabbit and my lop ears rabbit but i can't: i want to hug you, kiss you, i can't: i feel like i'm a zombie without my bunnies : i'm worried about my hens and doggy: WOW !!! the terrible revelations messages from the r and d for my hens and dogs:
scary, HORROR !!!! i think i should ve never existed if i destroy all my loved ones with my sins, causing their death , illness, suffering : horrible things the r and d say they're gonna do to my animals very soon : i want to kick the bucket : i think i should've never existed : everytime i sin strongly, terribly, one or several of my animals die : when will the Maker chastise ME and not my animals ?? the day i don't have animals no more ..... / i want animals !!!!! more than all things!!! i think the animals are the SOLE stuff i want !!!! i think i can NEVER be happy if i don't have animals !!!!
i think that Maker does not chastise me but my animals : i mean he takes away from you the most important, the most valuable thing you think you have : to me, the most IMPORTANT thing are my animals: that's the reason why when i do something ultra bad, the Maker makes pass away one or several of my animals : this time it was the WORST SIN i've ever made ?? for it was not one or two animals , but THREE animals in three days: no wonder why r had said at the same time or simultaneously : i get why they said that : it meant three DEATHS , three SICKNESS at the same time : three sick animals FOR NO REASON , SUPERNATURALLY, at the same time :
on top of that, the r said 3 weeks : now one week has passed : what ? they didn't say the whole say : two weeks for what ?? the DEATH of my hens , or dogs, burned live jennifer ( hen ), fighting to death chelby, brianna and brittany ( hens ) ? shortly after, kylie can't pee and passes away ( dog ) : oh NO , if only i had never been , if only i had never had a life !!!! all this is two or three weeks or a bit more ???? i want to cease living !!!! they must have suffered HORRIBLY !!! how caytlin suddenly screamed , of pain probably, ultra loudly : SCARY !!! and a day after, how amanda would scream, again and again, having convulsions , moving his head ultra fast , putting it ultra on the back, again and again, doing little screams again and again, his legs so hard, so tense, mega extended, wow, he would move and move :
oh poor him ! all this because of my sins ! HORRIBLE seeing this !!!! i wish it had been me , not him ! increible that amanda died one hour after i think, not right away when all this was happening : and then putting his body normal, then moving his body again , his legs mega fast, wow : and crystal couldn’t put his head normal, he was so weak : he would simply put his head on the floor, powerless, without strength : all this because of my sins : farewell everyone ! i can't take it no more : thanks for all
i need to seek the help of Maker and born again christians : but even if i beg pastors to pray for me to stop sinning, for me to stop massacring every single beloved animal i adopt , i CAN NOT stop sinning : i think i'm like these high level murderers: all i do is destroy : that's why i think i deserve to die : i think i MUST de , for if i carry on living and i adopt animals, they will all DIE as newborn animals, i'm sure: i sin so much , so terribly, that they wouldn't last not even one week, poor them !
their destiny would have been different if they had been adopted by someone who is NOT a monstrous sinner unlike me : they would 've lived 10 years, not 2 and 1 year, my adored bunnies : these bunnies were EVERYTHING to me : these hens and dog are MY ONLY loved ones : my only reason to be : or i can live for the rest of my life not adopting any animal but what a SAD life without any animal , too DEPRESSING, oh no, i think i CAN NOT live without animals :
i'd be like a zombie, always depressed and sad : i think i must sacrifice myself for my animals : anyway, i don't want to live since the Maker wants me to become his and get pregnant and have sexual intercourse and i'm virgin, with phobia of sexual intercourse : i'm anti pregnancy and anti sexual intercourse : thus, since this is very soon according to the messages from d and r , in october and december 2024, i think all i have left to do is join the majority ( die ) : what else can i do ?
hell is horrible : wow, poor persons there !!! i don't want to get devoured by 15 cm worms, spiders: i don't want to BURN, you can't breath in there: there's no water, you're TOO THIRSTY : but i DESERVE hell : i've been TOO WICKED to animals and men all my life : a vegan that murders all my animals , wow, false vegan i suppose !!!!!! to me , these animals ARE MY CHILDREN, my BABIES !!!!!! i DO NOT want to destroy the destiny, DESTROY the destiny, of holy little animals that i ADORE !!!! poor little dogs !!! my porgenitor is about to adopt two dogs: OH WOW, i'm too afraid for them poor little things , adorable little angels !!!!!!!!!!!!!
i CAN NOT get rid of my sins !!! hatred, wrath, evil thoughts, evil wishes : i beg you Maker, curse me, NOT my animals and future animals !!! i beg you Maker, destroy ME, NOT my animal angels !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i think i should not adopt any animal but just go see animals in ethical places such as pedagogic farms , hoping that they treat animals well there : but it's NOT the same than living with the animals, and being able to pet them, kiss them, see them, look at their beautiful faces and bodies and eyes, hugg them , whenever you like : i don’t see the point of living without animals and rabbits : i think that i see the point of living SOLELY with animals and rabbits : why living if you don’t have animals or bunnies ?? i think the only reason why i should get up in the morning is my animals and rabbits if i had some : i think i do NOT find any meaning in life ever since caytlin, crystal and amanda passed away : i think i can NOT find any meaning in life without animals and rabbits : i don’t want to do anyting ever since they went away : i don’t want to eat : i don’t want to exist : i don’t want to adopt and then die : if i adopt 5 animals = the 5 die : if i adopt 3 animals = the 3 die : if i adopt 10 animals = the 10 die : STOP !!! i don’t want to do this : this tourments me : i’m horrified : all this agony of my animals, all these deaths, because of my sins : WOW !!!! and yet i desperetedly wish to adopt PLENTY of animals !!! i think i’ve lost all will to live ever since my rabbits went to Heaven : i think i’m like a zombie now : for the joy to come back, the life to come back, for me to feel alive again, i NEED rabbits : but not for them to die 4 days after i had them : !!!!!! NOOOOO !!!! r said in my head : attack on the hens : they have one- two weeks left to live ?? what do i do ?? then my dog when , in 3-4 weeks ?? zero animal mega soon ??!!! in less than 30 days, i go from having 5 animals to 0 animal ??!!??!!??!! : i think life without animals is HORRIBLE, i think it’s NOT life at all : !!!!!
i don’t see the point in living if i do not have animals or rabbits : i think i don’t see the point in doing anything ever since my rabbits left me : what’s the point in existing if it’s without animals or bunnies ?? i think i see no point in doing nothing anymore ever since i lost my rabbits : i think that my only reason to live was my animals : i think that i ‘ve lost everything : i think that my life is MEANINGLESS without my bunnies and animals : i think i am fed up with this life without rabbits : i don’t want to live any longer , without animals or rabbits : i just wanted to make my rabbits happy : i just want to give happiness to rabbits : but i DO NOT want to murder any animal anymore !!!! i think i’ve lost interest in everything : i think i don’t enjoy anything anymore : i think i force myself to do everything now : i think i can’t be interested in anything any longer : i don’t know why i remain alive : i think i do not want to remain alive : i just force myself to do all the things a human daily do such as eating, brushing my teeth, going to the toilet, taking a shower , ect : i think that nothing in the world is more important to me than animals : i wish it hadn't happen : i think the worst is living without rabbits for the rest of my life , for my progenitor won't give me rabbits : what a depressing life i'm going to have without my rabbits and without rabbits
I think you should seek psychiatric help.
This is like winnicott's psa
Is today's parents from the generation of trophies for everybody? The first 5 minutes basically identifies the root cause of parents' malaise.
Those dang kids...organizing their own trophies
A lot of parents are losers with no friends but their kids
Dont forget your old friends, who dont have kids, actively avoid hanging out with your kids, so if you dont make friends with other parents than yes your kids are your only friends sadly
All children deserve parents, but not all parents deserve children. It’s extremely disgusting that this conversation is focused on the PARENTS feelings, and not the wellbeing of the kids raised in these unsuitable environments