Diane Spencer: Cystitis
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- Опубликовано: 30 июл 2024
- Part of 2013 sell out Edinburgh fringe festival show "Hurricane Diane" where I do standup about Dorset, being clumsy, cystitis, setting fire to hedges and my Mum wanting to plan her death. For full show click this link: • Diane Spencer Hurrican...
Music: Morning Stroll - Josh Kirsch, Media Right Productions • Morning Stroll - Josh ...
Link to my channel where you can watch more of my comedy: / dianespencerc. .
Website: www.dianespencer.tv/
Facebook: / dianespencer. .
Twitter: / dianespencerfun
I am a stand-up comedian, I post a full standup show about once a year, I'll post short jokes from that show and the occasional vlog so please subscribe so you don't miss anything.
Please do comment I enjoy reading them.
If you want to donate to me, and help me continue funding the online content, you can via Paypal: paypal.me/dianespencercomedian
All contributions gratefully received.
OR
Link to buy the entire show as a digital download: sellfy.com/DianeSpencer
Why buy something you can watch for free right? Well, if you buy it your £5 will go towards something that helps me continue to write comedy such as pens, writing books, posters or even just coffee! And it's really appreciated.
Filmed at the Soho Theatre London.
Filmed by Tom Farmery.
Closed Captions available. 
Приколы
GIVE THIS WOMAN A NETFLIX SPECIAL!
Thanks Petter! Please tell them I exist. We'll do one on there, but then I'll come back to RUclips
I know right!
No matter how many times I see your sets I die with laughter. Thanks for making me laugh.
Don't die Carlos!!! But thank you :D
Flawless routine. Timing, delivery, expressions. Absolutely brilliant 👍🏻 love how humble and down to earth you are in the comments. Hope to see great things.
Well thank you very much Chris! I'm delighted you enjoyed this! It really makes my day when someone writes something so positive, so please know it's appreciated you took the time to do that. :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian maybe one day you could end up on conan he takes on alot of stand ups for spots on his show then they get to the next big thing.. Look at daniel sloss he had a few spots on that show then it got him his brilliant Netflix special and his new stand up on HBO,
Your crude humor never gets old. 😂love your work. ❤️❤️
Thank you Daniel, available for during dinner speeches XD
5:14 "literally taking the piss"
Hahaha underrated, easy to miss, little joke 😂
Cheers me dear :)
I hear you and I'm on a carnival ride saying, ' Weeeeeee .'
Thank you, Diane, for all that information I didn't know I needed. Only a matter of time before your GBE for contributions to the education of the Empire.
Cheers to 'Ridin' the Rainbow',
Ragnar
Hahahaha!! I think out of all of the reasons people deserve some kind of knighthood, then me talking about cystitis is a worthy reason. Cheers Ragnar :)
These jokes deserved much bigger reactions.
As long as you enjoyed them :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian
Every last one of them!
I can't believe I only just now discovered your work, I belly laughed
I'm so happy!! Please have a look around the channel itself, there's a lot to discover 😊
Lady Di is a gem.
She always makes my day I love her
Thank you so much Rebecca, I'm very happy I can make your day :)
I'm so glad I've found this channel. My office has Jesus operating the lights too. Whipping my ass after shits always is an event...
Saw your amazon commercial Diane! Congrats, hope you get more stuff! Love seeing real people get stuff! Keep it up!
Thanks mate! I was so happy with the whole thing really. It was amazing to watch the team in action and I'm so pleased with how it came out! 😊
@@DianeSpencercomedian Great job!
Just did this last night, taking G/F to hospital for bloody cystitis UTI. So, naturally, I just sent her this skit!
Oh nooooo!!! Please send her my best wishes. Lots of cranberry juice - sugar free stuff works, and if she can get a shot of vodka in there, that helps numb the pain!
I was just thinking about you. Thought I'd drop in and say good night. I always think of you and how funny you are when I need a smile the most.
Hi Randall, I hope you had a good night and I'm happy I can bring a bit of brightness to your day 😊 sending you good vibes over the water 🌊🌈🌟
@@DianeSpencercomedian Thank you for all those good wishes. You are the best. Today is a great day.
I love you Diane! Miss you miss you so much!
Thanks Nelson, I am here!
Somehow British crude humor is much more charming ! Been a fan for years but just discovered your channel.
Wonderful :) thank you for watching my comedy, I'm so glad you enjoy all my little words.
You are so freaking fantastic. I love your humor. I have to share you with my daughters.lol
Hi Randall! Please do! Though hope they have never experienced this!!
@@DianeSpencercomedian they share my sinse of humor. I'm sure they will find you to be so freaking funny. If not, I'll smack them in the head. I'm sure that won't be necessary. Lots of love and patiently waiting on the next treat.
@@randallstrozier7097 I think she meant the cystic problem. Lol
Aw Man love always Percystitis :P Also I absolutely adore your wit I hope you get that Netflix Special :D
Thank you. Does Netflix need me?! Probably not :) Can I stay on RUclips and talk to people? Probably :)
All hail to Diane Spencer, she of the meaty flaps with chunky bits all yellow and pink.. bah ha ha ha.
Your so perfect with your imperfections 😂
HAHAHAHAH!!! Thank you kind sir! The breeze doth billow my curtains mightily on this sunshiney day :)
Even hearing them before, these are funny as hell. You have such a wonderful style it makes everything funny. Your outlook of the world makes us look at the world in a way we don't see, or don't want to see. When I was in the Navy back in the early 60's, I was at a base in the bay area for a few weeks. We went over to San Francisco a few times to a club called the Purple Onion. We saw a young man named Lenny Bruce. He did an amazing bit about the Lone Ranger that was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. You remind me of him, the way you let us see the world as we should, not the way we do. I owe you for that, thank you. Of course it doesn't hurt that your one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen :>)
With love and respect from the west:
DeMontana
De Montana, did you just compare me to Lenny Bruce?!! YOU have seen Lenny Bruce with your own eyes?!!? That is utterly amazing. Utterly utterly amazing. Thank you!
Saw him about '61 or '62 not sure whitch one it was. Was going back and forth to Nam in those days. You remind me of the way he looked at peoples motivations. They never really have the motivation they claim to have. Usually they don't even see that. Don't sell your self short. Your just as good and much prettier besides. You are better than you see yourself, that's one of the best things about you. You have a good week my friend, and don't sell yourself short.
With love and Respect from the west:
DeMontana
ps. We really don't need to go into how old that makes me, do we? :>)
Can't like this enough!
love her. best comedienne around
You're so kind, thank you John :)
@@DianeSpencercomedian credit where it's due
OMG. She is so funny!
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Happy Easter 😘
Happy Easter Fredrik!!! :D
"Not that you could tell." Cheers, Diane.
You are always most welcome Anzan
I always loved that bit. Hesitant to tell friends though. Unless they're really good friends :)
Unless it's an audience of strangers, and goes on You Tube. I tell strangers all sorts of things.
@@luciusavenus8715 exactly
Jacob, it's not about who you tell, but in the telling. e.g. 1. "I love this bit of Diane's!" 2. "You won't believe the stuff this odd woman says."
It is association versus disassociation. You're welcome.
@@jaylittleton1 jesus man....do you take me for a complete womble?
@@Jackie_Tikki_Tavi I am sorry Jacob but I don't have an answer to that. Being in California I don't speak fluent U.K.-lish so I tried google translate for Womble but only got back "No help here, man."
So all I can say is I do hope you are complete! And may you happily womble the rest of your days!
Did I do that right?
well good evening Diane, long time no see...... as always a delight...
Hi Dan, I hope you weren't eating when you saw this. Thank you for visiting!
@@DianeSpencercomedian we man are more dogs than you think. Nevertheless, your an actor and the goal is 1. to get a reaction in respect of a induced emotion. Ok. 2. Doing it again by having the spectator come again. Ok.
So shocking me is good.
I have had some jamilacuisine.ro/ciorba-de-burta-reteta-video/
Try it on .......
The bit was lovely
Dan
Diane, I love your full routines, and I love your bits. Tid-bits, little short stories. I haven't found a place that shows your Lady Bits. Not that I've looked.
Anyway, who I don't love is your sound technician. My ears are too old to be jumping up and down the Decibel range.
Hugs.
Hi Jay, I know, sound is the constant issue I have to be honest. I will try to fix it on the next one. :)
I'm still waiting...! where's the new stuff!? the people demand more DIANE!
😂😂 the people who came to my gig tonight got all the new stuff! They liked it too
@@DianeSpencercomedian in the name of equality, give the new material for us too! preferably for free, you dont need to pay your bills. My entertaiment is what matters!
@@Friiqi LOL! Not eating helps keep me pale and therefore able to make jokes about it - wheeeeee!
You are so brilliant and adorable.
Aw shucks, thanks :)
God...you are the frankest best...💋💋💋
Thank you!
this sceeeeneeeeee
I think it was this scene that caused me to be dropped by a judging panel 🌸😊
@@DianeSpencercomedian Hahahahaha those fools. This was cringey cringey gold.
So long as you do not have syph clap or gonorrhea you should still be reasonably edible. Cystitis has a nice tang to it. A bit like orange peel I think.. Just need to pick any crusty bits off so it is all fresh & slippery.
Oh my... I feel a little nauseous... XD but you DID just remind me of a joke I wrote this morning about flap-jacks so thank you! LOL!
Very descriptive.
Thank you Arun. :)
Love ya Diane. You have some of the worst luck with tbings that happen to you in the funniest way.
Got to laugh at these things 🌈
I've uttering those words like in a few clips
"put a leach on my buef", that needs to be on a t-shirt on your website...
Very kind offer. Much appreciated
Yaaaay first to watch
Here is your trophy! 🏆
@@DianeSpencercomedian My first trophy ever. Thank you Diane.
Oh god. Reality is funny. Been there done that.
I feel your pain my dear! I hope you are better and never have to go through it again!
I'll never not going to love that story. It's Disney movie-worthy. (let's be honest here; Disney is for sure a freak in the sheets).
I am now thinking of what animated kooky friend I could have in the movie. Frozen she has a snowman, perhaps I could have a talking jar of pee?
@@DianeSpencercomedian with a cigar-smoking, poker-playing, coffee-drinking pair of fuzzy handcuffs that has seen some shit in its days. but it always pays the rent on time
This is clearly turning into a buddy cop movie now...
@@DianeSpencercomedian ok. Pixar then
oh lord she's funny
Thanks Daniel!
@@DianeSpencercomedian I would to see your act live
cute as fuck
This why I thank God every day for her allowing me to be a man. I could never put up with everything that women have to put up with just from being a woman. The condescension while little, puberty (40 years of periods!!! AUGH!) teens. teen boys (I was one of them, so I know how bad we were to you ladies) hormones driving you crazy EVERY MONTH. men. older men. younger men. constant fears of infections. constant infections. cramps. mood swings from left to right. PREGNANCY! LABOR! BIRTH! BEING A MOM! BEING A WIFE! (Hopefully, not in that order) Puberty in reverse (Menopause). Oh, and always having to look like a model and live ten pounds underweight, always starving yourself. Would've killed myself before reaching 13 if I'd been a woman. My hats off to you ladies. You are definitely the stronger sex.
There are good bits. Like, we don't get twisted nuts. :)
"foof" - you made that up?
Mum told me when I was a little boy, I called my old boy "foofl".
Uncanny resemblance, don't you think.
Hahahah!!! I did not make up "foof" it is quite a modern english slang word. It's quite friendly though sounds confused and like you could accidentally sit on it and leave a crease in.
@@DianeSpencercomedian If one accidentally sat on me I'd leave more than a crease!! :D
"big meaty curtains"... I should not be as turned on as I am... Also, why isn't that phrase on a t-shirt in Diane's merch shop???
Ah nice! Okay, potential t-shirt slogan. "I like my curtains meaty" or "Give me meaty curtains anyday" ...
@@DianeSpencercomedian A better idea... "Big Meaty Curtains" should be the title of your Netflix special.... (although I still want my t-shirt...)
Try using a catheter. 1,825 times a year. (approximately) Urine Trouble
I am very fortunate to have only endured the pain of cystitis a few times in my life.
Ok I have to admit the title... OKAY WAIT A fucking moment.... a woman speaking about rough sex!... Ok I need to hear this whole story!
I do have a easy fix for women tho
Yes cos ALL women are the same... LOL!!
I love listening to her stories but I don’t find her especially funny
Well sir that's alright if you're hear for the storytelling aspect :) Let's focus on the positives of your experience.
Well I find it funny. You must be a fan of the Netflix specials talking about social issues 24/7. Comedy is supposed to be fun and push boundaries. Not a documentary on social injustice. Lighten up man!
Man. You really crammed alot of assumptions into one comment. It’s not the content, I enjoy the content obviously; I said that I love listening to the stories. The delivery just isn’t my style. No offense to Diane Spencer, obviously a lot of people find her hilarious