I finally had my "Ive had enough moment" after 16 years. Feels like a relief. I felt guilty for a while for blocking her but I knew allowing her access to me would disturb my new found peace.
It’s not always about them just leaving it’s about HOW they did it. If a person had an honest conversation with you about what’s going on in his life and why he can’t be in relationship at the moment and has to take a break to sort things out that’s would be a different story. More often people are not honest, they lie to you and make up excuses or they just disappear as if you meant nothing to them. With people like that you absolutely under no circumstances should take them back. Even if it’s true that they got bad dating advice, let it be a learning opportunity for them. So next time, with some other person, they will know that lying, telling a person that you care for them and then disappearing is not acceptable.
I wouldn't intimately get back with the person who pulled away one time. I would, however, try to be friends with that person and not have any sex with them for awhile, if ever. The trust is gone. They'll have to reEarn it. The best way to regain trust is just being friends. If the sexual chemistry is there, itll only grow the better friends u become and the more they get to know u. If the sexual chemistry dissolves, the relationship was never meant to be and it just means u saved urself a headache by not getting sexually involved. Sex isnt love. Say no to sex.
Susan Winter i love your videos and look forward to them all the time. Your videos have helped me become more self aware. I'm playing the game and not breaking any or my heart along the way. Thank u!
After 4.5 months of no contact. He contacted me and apologized and wants to be “just friends” I forgave him but just because he revealed what he learned from our situation and it was the reasons why I was disappointed in him. I figured it’ll help me move on just as it will help him move on. What have I learned if I choose to hold on to the past? It is easier to forgive than to hold on.
Do they always come back Steve? If the relationship was perfect, genuine, and marriage was discussed? A deep love. My partner left me literally out of nowhere at the drop of the dime after 6 months. I'm sure she went back to her ex
My ex, decided to turn me off like a light switch after a year of dating. Its funny now (wasn't at all at the time, it almost destroyed me) but if she hadn't gone completely indifferent on me suddenly I wouldn't have had the time to sit down and think about the sum total of what she meant/her value to me. My conclusion was she really had nothing to offer. She took and took, made me feel worthless, physically and mentally exhausted all the while seeming to be doing very little, was emotionally avoidant, non-communicative, manipulative, had low self esteem, used passive aggressive, silent treatments (abusive) and was secretive and devious. She helped, actually gave me time to put all the pieces in my head and emotions together and figure out that she was poison to my soul and that I didn't want such (an alien, inhuman POS) a person in my life. If only I had listened to my intuition... After 3 months she came back.... Sent her on her merry way.
Shin yes, OMG is tougher than I thought. But I realise more and more that is actually a blessing (I realise while actually not doing what I was doing before, asking myself over and over why). I’m just saying yes, this is the actual reality and being present it’s really helpful; tough but so releasing and I don’t know, brings fresh air back to my mind.
I'm literally going through the experience described above. If this person hadn't gone cold...I wouldn't have had the time to look at things for what they are. Very abusive and controlling. I havent spoken to him in a little over a month and when I write down the things he would say...the passive aggressiveness. He really had nothing to offer. I was the one giving. He was draining. I am breaking out of Trauma bond and I'm excited to heal ... and find out everything about myself that could have possibly attracted this person into my reality. Because at the end, it's not about them. It's about the triggers. Its about us. Because people like that..... you'll hear a lot..They dont change. Since they think they know it all... they never learn anything profoundly.
They come back for a multitude of reasons: 1) They're either going through a rough patch in their current relationship or are just recently single. 2) They're bored,lonely,missing you and thinking about you,what you're up too if it has been awhile since they last talked too you. 3) They need an ego boost,searching for any type of validation from you and they'll come back for that knowing that you'll give in to them and begin talking to them again. If they broke up with you and chose to leave you for someone else,let them go and don't look back or give into their breadcrumbing messages of hi,hello,how are you? etc etc. If I had to choose the main reason why an ex randomly messages you out of the blue...I'd guess #3 would be the reason why...Maybe I am wrong on that one but I wouldn't have any doubt that would be the reason.
Hey I’m 40 and just got back on the dating scene...things have change within 20 years. Must be social media..I have never know this to be so confusing.
Porn addiction is common and it leads to sexism and sexual entitlement. Modern men believe we owe them sex and games are justified as we are not the sluts they want us to be.
There are narcissists, but there are also people with attachment styles that look like narcissism. Especially avoidant ones. I know a wonderful woman who has had her heart broken, and is now scared, like I am, to let someone close. Its not that we cant love, but are guarded. Both of us are single parents as well, so we have to be emotionally strong for kids. It makes it tough, but I feel love is underlying, and though I am now cautious, am also not quick to judge. Dont give up hope. Things are not always as they first appear, and most people are inherently good.
Yes! And, its AMAZES me how harsh some people can be. We all have a story, a past, and just struggles in general. Why do people have such high expectations, when they themselves are not perfect?
yes. there are a lot of bitter folks in the comments here. yes, they probably really got played, but there are people out there who are so attracted to you but their past hurt keeps them self-sabotaging. I wouldn't continue to pursue such a person, but some empathy for them can get you back on your own path A LOT QUICKER than contempt.
If that person came back, I would only be friends with that person. I would not leave my marriage for someone that broke my heart and showed me how cold and cruel she can be. My gut tells me it would be dangerous to my wellbeing. I fell hard, but I moved forward. I fall out of love when I see cruelty, greed, deception, and chaos.
"Narcissist's" that pull away are not worth taking back. Those dealing with them can experience depression, anxiety and PTSD and if children are included in the mix that can make matters worse as children can learn a Narc's traits.
Sorry, but as a student of psychology all of you throw around diagnosis terms like you're a professional. Not everyone who upsets you are narc's or whatever. Humans are way more complicated than that. Do you realize that girls treat nice guys like shit for a reason, right? And, guys might play games cause they were hurt before. Making assumptions & not outright asking what is causing their behaviour is silly.
@@verveblack some guys play games cause they were hurt before huh? Sounds like you're making excuses for shitty behavior. Many people equate Narcs with 'hot and cold' behavior or consistently pulling away because it's a common tactic they use. Yeah we can't call everyone a Narc I agree, but there's no excuse for playing games.
Amanda K Except every girl has played games with me. Many came 1 inch to my face trying to get me to kiss them but then ignored me later. Another said she loves me yet when I gave my number she threw it away.
I knew intuitively he loved me. I just didn't like the WAY he loved me. And that Means a lot because it is important to FEEL loved enough BY THEM in order to stay in the relationship which means they got to SHOW IT! WORDS AFTER FACTS! It does not matter that I knew he loved me because that was only my empathy and sensitivity to Made me know it. They got to SHOW IT and they got to SHOW IT in the right way for their partner. Communication is to Tell them our desires and see if they ACT on those. Otherwise we just stay with those men that beat women and say I love you! Facts facts facts! No excuses. No justifications. Facts. The right ones every day. Susan Watch out to not make women just give up on their desires of a beautiful relationship
I had to walk away...as much as I loved him I realized that I wanted someone who got my back period. Hurts like hell but would hurt more to stay in the lie.
@@rheamajek1889 Sending you much love & light... you will heal.. Love yourself and give yourself a hug.. know that it takes courage, strength and a woman realizing her worth to walk away. YOU deserve a King, YOU are ENOUGH!!
@@shretamadey1576 I dont love him anymore, I'm angry with him even until today. I dump him last month because I know I cannot make him and I cannot be happy with him
I am happy for you Diana.. My one is more worse ..like he never last more than 2month last time it had been 3years since I last saw him but I was stupid to love him for so long ..I feel like is love a joke or what lol.. I blame myself sometimes the most always thinking it's my fault maybe I can't keep him happy,like why he is coming back to me everytime maybe he loves me but then I realise that Seasons do come nd global warming hits hard lol..so maybe that's why he comes... Nd now I am even trying to move on..
@@shretamadey1576 we deserve to be treated well and we should demand respect. I believe there's a good man out there but for now I want to focus on myself with work and I spend more time with my cats. Toxic man don't deserve our love
There are good men who never pull away. Just because there are not enough of them doesn't mean we should settle for shit and make excuses for them. A deserter can make their own excuses. NEVER take them back. Communication is what makes relationships work not neglect.
My girlfriend was the one who pulled away in my case, it was so abrupt and odd. She says she regrets not communicating things she didn’t like better, but how does someone acknowledge that and simultaneously decide it’s all over and they’re cutting it short? Man getting dumped sucks
God, I've had my heart broken so many times. I feel like giving up sometimes but I can't because I want a family someday. I hate how women are constantly in and out of my life. But you have to know your own self worth and walk away when your not being treated the way you know you should be treated. Some day my love will find me, I just hope it doesn't take too long.
I can relate! One thing I know about GOD is that he has the best plans for his children, only that at times his protection upon us is misinterpreted somehow ,iam also just learning to trust his heart because understanding his plan I seem not to be doing. Trust me it's a little easier to be single or go through several failed relationships in the western world NOT in Africa ! It's a nightmare!
You are absolutely incredible! I can not talk to seek advise or inquire about these things with friends or family. They don’t have their own situations figured out and some people don’t want to see you happy. You’re a gem
The problem with relationships these days, is there is "too much" temptation and a plethora of information on what to do from what not to do. So this is the boundaries of confusion for a lot of people, what works for some wont work for others. My advice, look at what you want out of a partner and dont accept anything less, your worth is more important than what anybody else thinks! And for heavens sakes, dont fall for their charm to easily and stop having sex with them from the get go. Learn to wait, before you sleep with someone, let them earn your passage down their, its not a toy, it's where love starts and life is created.....if men are only after that, we have one of the oldest professions to provide those services, and it includes no emotions or strings attached, the only thing it comes with is a price tag for the duration. Let them buy the cow, dont give them your milk for free, make them earn it, that's why men do what they do and don't want to settle down any more. Women make themselves to available. And I' m tired of hearing "we have needs"...... well, your needs can wait for the right person. Stop sabotaging your emotional well being over people who are not worth it.
@Lili R, wow you comment was so deep! I especially loved “ its not a toy, it's where love starts and life is created.” Never heard it like that before! That was profound
@@UnexpectedWonder Thankyou! you're right in bringing up that point, however, I'm not assuming "all" lead down that path but most do, if you know what I mean, it sounded that way to you by the way I mentioned it. All good, I hear what you mean, I respect that.
it's almost like you're following my life to the tee. All your posts are directly relevant to my current life, its pretty surreal Susan. Have an awesome day! x
Richard Stein I love reading this. Believe it or not-- I hear this more than you'd imagine. A couple of times a week. I love it when the Universe puts us all of us in sync. Thanks for your note.
Run, run, run!!! He came back after months of leaving me heart broken and devastated. Said all the right things and used me only to change his mind two weeks later. This was after no contact. This was after months of agony trying to get over him. I hate him. Back to square one but this time, never again!!!!
Exactly what happened to me!! I told him how devastated I was crying all the time, not eating, not sleeping, when I did eat something I got sick. I told him don't do that to me again. He said he won't and he was so sorry. He did it again after two weeks!!!
Just been through this. Had a girl drop me after about 3 weeks and after we were intimate. We had great chemistry together I just didnt get it. I was quite cut up. She came back 2 months later once i was back on my purpose and moving on. Telling me I was amazing and we get work it out together. We had another 3 weeks of intense passion. I was nuts about her. Believed she felt the same. Then boom!! Cold as ice again. So thats that. Some people just like to FUCK with you! Walk and dont look back. If they come back and you are foolish enough to tey again like i was you better be wearing armour and do NOT let that guard down for at least 2 to 3 months!
When we have one supposed ocean of opportunities it's easy to misunderstand what's going on in people's mind. But in fact, the truth is, people in our days don't know how to date properly, how to connect with others... it's everything so fast like mcdonald's food. You eat, you satisfied your needs and then you disappear. But I believe how much you know yourself, how much you love yourself, the more you are open to receive from life the right person to match what you feel inside. A man is like an expensive jewelry, it's to make us even more beautiful. So don't waste your pearls with pigs ;) Huge hug Susan :)
In fact Crime Stoppers, don't waste your pearls with pigs is a Portuguese saying... means you should not lose your precious time with who don´t recognize who you are, or the pearl you are.
Reviewing this message again. God how I LOVE this channel! Im in the beginning of a new love relationship with a sultry Scorpio-God help me-and 20 years my junior-I am SO HAD!! Not going to repeat the mistakes of the past with Ms. Winter’s sage advice. Thank You! 🙏
UPDATE: After a month of treating the Scorpio POI with nothing but respect, appreciation and support(she has a lot of emotional wounds and deep dark places), with no warning or reason she shut me out and went off with a 73-year old narcissist "therapist" who chases 23 and 24 year old girls and uses his "healing services" as a private dating service to "date" female clients who are emotionally vulnerable or fragile. I finally realized the POI is also a narcissist. How perfect they found each other ;) I am grateful she showed me who she is early on and I paid attention--the first time. These videos have taught me so much and taught me to "dodge the bullet": there is no going back or taking this person back. It saddens me there are so many people like this.
Hello! I just wanted to point out that the term " person of interest " is used by law enforcement to explain to the public that that particular person is the primary suspect in a crime and that they're gathering more evidence to charge said person.
Great advice- having a real talk with your ex who wants to come back Some dating coaches advise not to bring up the past... to sweep everything under the rug and move forward
I think not bringing up the past is where resentment lies and it also shows a lack of maturity in the relationship if it can not be brought up. Once sorted it’s good to not dwell but to ignore is not helping either parties.
I loved the “Tape Deck” comment. ❤️ ya! That “Red Light - Green Light” analogy was the Cat’s Meow! So glad I stumbled upon your You Tube site because you keep me feeling positive and hopeful that there are still some good partners out there. Much ❤️
Life is short... I prefer effortless healthy relationships. Men who have been inconsistent with me have had major issues. I met a club owner and we met... but, he called me six months later... I told him I was involved with someone. I'm typically not interested in men who don't court me in real time. A week later he committed suicide... so... he had huge issues. My relationships have to flow effortlessly and blissfully... or I don't engage.
The best advice I’ve heard. Many are imposing their own opinion which may or may not be suitable for a situation. Some of us fell for this kind of selfish advice from the so called dating/ relationship coach. Thank you for being real and telling us the truth!!
When someone pulls away the best thing to do for yourself is just to block them off your phone immediately. This way, you will not give in to temptation when they finally do contact you again and they almost always do. Don't give them the chance. If they pulled away in the first place, there is something wrong with THEM and this has not changed just because because you have not been in contact. They have stopped panicking about being smothered by you (I know, it's so ridiculous) and by now, they are curious as to why they have not heard from you. Their ego cannot accept that they don't have a hold over you like they did before. They are now going to try to regain that control so they can have the upper hand once more and sleep well at night. Don't let this happen! This is what the "block" button is for! Use it!!!!!!!
I think if they pull away once, it means they've rejected you because you weren't what they wanted. Even if they come back, it's not because they really want you. Maybe they just needed an ego boost, a place to stay, some sex, money, whatever.
Its really difficult when this happens. There's really juvenile advice out there that if men go no contact for 20 to 30 days then supposedly women come running when in actual fact its a huge turnoff. There is also advice to go no contact with narcissists. Perhaps they suspected this and realised you are not. What if they are narcissists giving the silent treatment? How on earth do we know what's going on? I hate these games.
In those days, you couldn’t win your ex back. Back then, once they dumped you, that’s it. It was time to move on. Today, however, things have changed and there is a way to win him or her back.
In my value system I cannot base my actions, feelings on someone else. Somebody needs to be consistent, strong if it's real, therefore I have to be the unconditional giver.
Maybe we were together for 18 years married 15 years and have three children together and her selfishness is destroying our family. Maybe she is having a midlife crises or an affair idk but I can’t take being so unappreciated anymore and I hope when the grass isn’t greener she tries to come back to me so I can reject her. I hope she regrets everything she did to let me go.
This is great advice. I am currently in this exact situation. Thing’s aren’t always so black and white. I was a nervous dater for years and afraid of commitment and all of that. Insecure in every way. I took a long break from dating and worked on myself and now am ready. And wouldn’t you know the first guy I could potentially see a future with got cold feet. It’s almost comical in a way.....the irony of it all. He’s a good guy and was obviously into me our first go round, although he never verbally expressed his feelings. When someone really likes you, they can’t hide it if they try. He showed me enough the first time to know he’s worth a second try. But, boy he better get it right this time! 😂 Thanks for all the helpful videos. You have helped me a lot. -Kim
Susan . I am wishing you beautiful vibrations for 2018 from Swansea Uk. You helped me so so much. Im letting go of my love one as after 25 years . I went back and tried. we have both changed in our daily life. I still love her so very , very much. so thats the best.
@@lovetrustandpixiedust it's just that I don't want to hurt anyone. Even unintentionally. I know what he did was extremely pathetic but I can't stoop down to his level😔
Great video! Dealt with a man who pulled away and came back several times. Last time I decided to call him out (in a nice way) which ended in him putting the blame on me and ending all things between us. Deleted my number (so he says) and unfriended me on Facebook. Really hope he sticks with his words now.
Omg Susan . This is completely true he pull way and them come back slow them stay more stronger and open them before. I see your video almost 10 time ❤️
I really love how optimistic you are and how to really evaluate people. My boyfriend and I are on and off. He constently pulls away so I pull away. We some how get back together, I am now really looking at the past 2 years and it hasn't been stable. I want something more but he hasn't been taking the steps to make it serious as much as he persues this hot andcold life. He wants me to commit yet he does this hot and cold thing. Im to the point where I need to put some serious boundaries down. I may even pull away to figure out how I got to this point with him. But your really helping me see somethings that really make more sense.
He is not a player. He experiences relationship anxiety. His work keeps him so busy. His the avoidant type. Maybe I deserve better. He asked for time. So many sacrificing. Real talk time!
For last 2 month he pulled me away 3 times. After few day always comes and cries and says he still loves me and I'm a woman of his life that he feels sad he cant sleep. But he is not ready to give me what I deserve. I never was needy never ask him to come back. Every time my wounds cured and I try to move on and even date with another man he comes back. It's very challenging. I know he just satisfies his ego. But he broke my heart again and again and again.
I enjoy all your videos always give genuine advise and respond to all the comments as well you are my favourite and you are always right on about everything . One of the best coaches 💞or the only one 😉
He came back and i give him the second chance and after a couple of months we came back to where we was before. Can you tell what might be something wrong? Thank you in advance. God bless.
Isn't there a song that goes "Hit the road Jack, don't ya come back no more...no more...no more...no more.....Hit the road Jack...and don't ya come back no more..!" You could belt that out..!
I used it to practice on as I met her on line 10 years ago and she did that to me then . Lucky she could not rember me at all. So I had fun practice on my chatting up skills with her then walked away.
She will NEVER come back because I don't "qualify". She went to an expensive private school and associated with all the "pretty people" that discussed their recent trips to the Bahamas or Europe. She likes people that are delusional, just like her. She's one of those that wants the gold ring, the movie star, talented show person, well endowed. I've known her since fifth grade. She told me once that we could never do more than date casually because she did not want to "ruin the friendship". She left me cold. She ruined it. I'm never speak to her again.
I was seeing someone for 3 months .Everything was going well . We were exclusive, met his friends all good. He started a new job which required travel and a new business 3 weeks ago.He has kids as well so issues with that also with the ex. He started to get a bit cold but remained communicative and we continued to meet.We had a small issue where he didn’t walk me to my car on an icy drive way and said he’s tired. I left without saying bye. He basically stopped communication, when I texted replied but didn’t call when I asked and left to his next business trip.Its been a week, not sure what to do.I have a feeling he will reach out but how I should respond back is the question.
Dialogue is necessary. Nowadays, people like to switch from A to B like updating apps. This ain't life, I mean real life. Dialogue is the key of any relationship
I'm in this situation... ex gf broke up without warning 4.5 months ago without any warning. I didn't react well, 2 NC periods, a botched meetup. After 15 days silence, I find out she has quit her job at the Ministry of education in Colombia, and run to her Sisters place in Canada. Her cell phone is off, and she reached out a'la 1996, with an email, with a very vague "hi, I know you are worried, I'm ok now, let's stick with this method "for now" WTF??, I suspect her freaking weirdo ex from years ago has a hand in this mess, and that she literally had to flee Colombia to escape him, or some madness he's putting her through. I love this girl..and based on the botched meetup we had where she was sincerely reaching out to me... but I basically was more focused on rubbing her nose in it and playing "hurt feelings guy" instead of just kissing her, being there for her. (I did showcase how actions have consequences though! Lol!) Anyway, its gonna be hard not literally interrogating her when I see her next. I have a LOT of questions.....
A common issue these days is that people get too invested in the endless possibilities and potentials of people to swipe on that that they don’t invest genuinely and wholeheartedly into one person they connect with, like people did in the past society. I was born in 2000; we’re a generation of phases, faster changes and short attention spans.
Thank you, Susan, you rock! ⭐️💪🏼💜🦋 I gave 3 kind and generous opportunities to come back to a good guy with not so great skills... Unfortunately, he is not making me a priority; so I called him out on it, telling him how I feel... And he blew up... And blew any further chances. That’s the problem with being too nice. 😔 What do you think?
Monica Sancio Vegan Fit Motivation honestly if he “blew up” you saved yourself heartache further down the road. If he gets that angry because you were sharing your feelings and being a high value woman, do you really want to be with a guy like that? I think you did the right thing 👍🏻❤️
Thank you so much for all of your wisdom and advice! I feel like you were sent by an angel 😇 because whenever I listen to your program, I always gain much needed clarity✨ Thank you, thank you🙏🏼💗
It's feasible to pull away because of fears. But have you considered that maybe you pulled away because you didn't like him enough? I've never really seen anybody who's "heads over heels" pull away.
+Michelle Grenier, I don't think there will ever be a good way to figure out if men are just into one night stand or not. People can keep up a facade and hide who they truly are for at least 90 days to a year. You'll just have to test them and judge how they react to those tests. Try telling them you don't have sex until a you're in a committed relationship and see what their action/reaction is. If they blow a fit or go into super pleaser mode - then watch out.
Question. I just got shamed by a man because I told him I sent a “peace offering gift” to a guy I was seeing. I wanted to salvage the friendship part and felt it was ok to send an olive branch approach. My friend said it was a bad move and would have adverse reaction to the male as me looking weak while bruising his ego. I don’t get that. Is ego and pride more important than mending at bare minimum a friendship? I couldn’t cancel the gift. Will this blow up in my face? I don’t understand how wanting to make peace and sending a useful gift ( it was a Calloway 3 wood) is wrong. Am I in for it?
![Twenty One Pilots - “The Line” (from Arcane Season 2) [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/E2Rj2gQAyPA/mqdefault.jpg)
Is all that stress even worth it?! I feel like they’re just an immature person who plays with people’s emotions. Not worth it anymore
Many don't know what they are doing.
I finally had my "Ive had enough moment" after 16 years. Feels like a relief. I felt guilty for a while for blocking her but I knew allowing her access to me would disturb my new found peace.
Rita Shaba exactly! I walked tf away and the outcome was unintentionally beautiful
Rita Shaba ikr. I’m thinking twice about a situation
@@elizabethjones4325 Truly!
It’s not always about them just leaving it’s about HOW they did it. If a person had an honest conversation with you about what’s going on in his life and why he can’t be in relationship at the moment and has to take a break to sort things out that’s would be a different story. More often people are not honest, they lie to you and make up excuses or they just disappear as if you meant nothing to them. With people like that you absolutely under no circumstances should take them back. Even if it’s true that they got bad dating advice, let it be a learning opportunity for them. So next time, with some other person, they will know that lying, telling a person that you care for them and then disappearing is not acceptable.
I think it would be easier if i just strip down naked and go live in the woods.
evans m couldnt agree more. and I too am ready to walk away
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hahah!
Stay away from poison ivy its gonna make you itch.
@@LadyofCleves65 so do my relationships
Look, if someone does pull away in a big way, who cares why? If they do it, they would do it again, get rid!!
I wouldn't intimately get back with the person who pulled away one time. I would, however, try to be friends with that person and not have any sex with them for awhile, if ever.
The trust is gone. They'll have to reEarn it. The best way to regain trust is just being friends. If the sexual chemistry is there, itll only grow the better friends u become and the more they get to know u. If the sexual chemistry dissolves, the relationship was never meant to be and it just means u saved urself a headache by not getting sexually involved.
Sex isnt love. Say no to sex.
You've thought this through. I agree with a time-out to readjust to knowing each other now that everyone's cards are on the table. Thanks Juan.
Susan Winter i love your videos and look forward to them all the time. Your videos have helped me become more self aware. I'm playing the game and not breaking any or my heart along the way. Thank u!
Good for you, Juan. Thanks for the compliment! So pleased to hear this channel is a value to you. Wishing you well.
After 4.5 months of no contact. He contacted me and apologized and wants to be “just friends”
I forgave him but just because he revealed what he learned from our situation and it was the reasons why I was disappointed in him. I figured it’ll help me move on just as it will help him move on. What have I learned if I choose to hold on to the past? It is easier to forgive than to hold on.
Hi Juan. Smart man. Learning from our past means we won't have to relive the same drama. Excellent choice, and it sets you free as well.
They come back because they couldn't find someone better.
Do they always come back Steve? If the relationship was perfect, genuine, and marriage was discussed? A deep love. My partner left me literally out of nowhere at the drop of the dime after 6 months. I'm sure she went back to her ex
Exactly. Let’s not over complicate things. Next.
@@Kloutkulture yes they usually come back, hopefully you'll be strong enough not to take her back after leaving you.
@@ofwolfandmanii I am now. F that broad. I’ll never lower my self-respect to allow someone like that back.
@@Kloutkulture I've been there. I sleep much better at night being single now. I've seen to much to trust any females
My ex, decided to turn me off like a light switch after a year of dating. Its funny now (wasn't at all at the time, it almost destroyed me) but if she hadn't gone completely indifferent on me suddenly I wouldn't have had the time to sit down and think about the sum total of what she meant/her value to me. My conclusion was she really had nothing to offer. She took and took, made me feel worthless, physically and mentally exhausted all the while seeming to be doing very little, was emotionally avoidant, non-communicative, manipulative, had low self esteem, used passive aggressive, silent treatments (abusive) and was secretive and devious. She helped, actually gave me time to put all the pieces in my head and emotions together and figure out that she was poison to my soul and that I didn't want such (an alien, inhuman POS) a person in my life. If only I had listened to my intuition... After 3 months she came back.... Sent her on her merry way.
Wow, that’s a very powerful.. realization.
Sounds like the person I was with down to the personality. It's tough but I agree. In their absence comes peace and clarity.
OMG always listen to your gut!
Shin yes, OMG is tougher than I thought. But I realise more and more that is actually a blessing (I realise while actually not doing what I was doing before, asking myself over and over why). I’m just saying yes, this is the actual reality and being present it’s really helpful; tough but so releasing and I don’t know, brings fresh air back to my mind.
I'm literally going through the experience described above. If this person hadn't gone cold...I wouldn't have had the time to look at things for what they are. Very abusive and controlling. I havent spoken to him in a little over a month and when I write down the things he would say...the passive aggressiveness. He really had nothing to offer. I was the one giving. He was draining. I am breaking out of Trauma bond and I'm excited to heal ... and find out everything about myself that could have possibly attracted this person into my reality. Because at the end, it's not about them. It's about the triggers. Its about us. Because people like that..... you'll hear a lot..They dont change. Since they think they know it all... they never learn anything profoundly.
They come back for a multitude of reasons: 1) They're either going through a rough patch in their current relationship or are just recently single. 2) They're bored,lonely,missing you and thinking about you,what you're up too if it has been awhile since they last talked too you. 3) They need an ego boost,searching for any type of validation from you and they'll come back for that knowing that you'll give in to them and begin talking to them again. If they broke up with you and chose to leave you for someone else,let them go and don't look back or give into their breadcrumbing messages of hi,hello,how are you? etc etc. If I had to choose the main reason why an ex randomly messages you out of the blue...I'd guess #3 would be the reason why...Maybe I am wrong on that one but I wouldn't have any doubt that would be the reason.
Things seemed so much easier back in my day.
Exactly. The devil is busier. He's work a full- and part-time job now!
Hey I’m 40 and just got back on the dating scene...things have change within 20 years. Must be social media..I have never know this to be so confusing.
@@positivevibes1306 It's not Social Media. It's been harsh for me ever since I was Young.
So many Games these Days, Madam. It's been harsh for me ever since I was Young...
Porn addiction is common and it leads to sexism and sexual entitlement. Modern men believe we owe them sex and games are justified as we are not the sluts they want us to be.
There are narcissists, but there are also people with attachment styles that look like narcissism. Especially avoidant ones. I know a wonderful woman who has had her heart broken, and is now scared, like I am, to let someone close. Its not that we cant love, but are guarded. Both of us are single parents as well, so we have to be emotionally strong for kids. It makes it tough, but I feel love is underlying, and though I am now cautious, am also not quick to judge. Dont give up hope. Things are not always as they first appear, and most people are inherently good.
I feel ya.
Yes! And, its AMAZES me how harsh some people can be. We all have a story, a past, and just struggles in general. Why do people have such high expectations, when they themselves are not perfect?
This is me
yes. there are a lot of bitter folks in the comments here. yes, they probably really got played, but there are people out there who are so attracted to you but their past hurt keeps them self-sabotaging. I wouldn't continue to pursue such a person, but some empathy for them can get you back on your own path A LOT QUICKER than contempt.
If that person came back, I would only be friends with that person. I would not leave my marriage for someone that broke my heart and showed me how cold and cruel she can be. My gut tells me it would be dangerous to my wellbeing. I fell hard, but I moved forward. I fall out of love when I see cruelty, greed, deception, and chaos.
"Narcissist's" that pull away are not worth taking back. Those dealing with them can experience depression, anxiety and PTSD and if children are included in the mix that can make matters worse as children can learn a Narc's traits.
Social Butterfly You're correct. Some cases are very clear as to what you should do. This is one of them.
Sorry, but as a student of psychology all of you throw around diagnosis terms like you're a professional. Not everyone who upsets you are narc's or whatever. Humans are way more complicated than that.
Do you realize that girls treat nice guys like shit for a reason, right? And, guys might play games cause they were hurt before.
Making assumptions & not outright asking what is causing their behaviour is silly.
@@verveblack some guys play games cause they were hurt before huh? Sounds like you're making excuses for shitty behavior. Many people equate Narcs with 'hot and cold' behavior or consistently pulling away because it's a common tactic they use. Yeah we can't call everyone a Narc I agree, but there's no excuse for playing games.
Amanda K Except every girl has played games with me. Many came 1 inch to my face trying to get me to kiss them but then ignored me later. Another said she loves me yet when I gave my number she threw it away.
Colleen
Yes. absolutely!
I knew intuitively he loved me. I just didn't like the WAY he loved me. And that Means a lot because it is important to FEEL loved enough BY THEM in order to stay in the relationship which means they got to SHOW IT! WORDS AFTER FACTS! It does not matter that I knew he loved me because that was only my empathy and sensitivity to Made me know it. They got to SHOW IT and they got to SHOW IT in the right way for their partner. Communication is to Tell them our desires and see if they ACT on those. Otherwise we just stay with those men that beat women and say I love you! Facts facts facts! No excuses. No justifications. Facts. The right ones every day. Susan Watch out to not make women just give up on their desires of a beautiful relationship
This!
So true, my ex says it but doesn't show it. I like quality time and I say it but then he doesn't have the time. I couldn't continue, had to leave.
I had to walk away...as much as I loved him I realized that I wanted someone who got my back period. Hurts like hell but would hurt more to stay in the lie.
I walked away yesterday and it hurts so much
@@rheamajek1889 Sending you much love & light... you will heal.. Love yourself and give yourself a hug.. know that it takes courage, strength and a woman realizing her worth to walk away. YOU deserve a King, YOU are ENOUGH!!
@@msenekra6702 These words mean a lot to me. Thank you so much. I am enough, and I deserve a King!
@@rheamajek1889 how do you feel now, love? It’s been a week since you wrote this, so just checking up on you. x
He left me for almost 3 months. And now he is back. I was soo in love with him. But now I'm super angry
Dear it happens...he just can't see u re better off him
@@shretamadey1576 I dont love him anymore, I'm angry with him even until today. I dump him last month because I know I cannot make him and I cannot be happy with him
@@dianasuzane4378 He is coming back because his other options dumped his crap ass
I am happy for you Diana.. My one is more worse ..like he never last more than 2month last time it had been 3years since I last saw him but I was stupid to love him for so long ..I feel like is love a joke or what lol.. I blame myself sometimes the most always thinking it's my fault maybe I can't keep him happy,like why he is coming back to me everytime maybe he loves me but then I realise that Seasons do come nd global warming hits hard lol..so maybe that's why he comes... Nd now I am even trying to move on..
@@shretamadey1576 we deserve to be treated well and we should demand respect. I believe there's a good man out there but for now I want to focus on myself with work and I spend more time with my cats. Toxic man don't deserve our love
There are good men who never pull away.
Just because there are not enough of them doesn't mean we should settle for shit and make excuses for them. A deserter can make their own excuses. NEVER take them back. Communication is what makes relationships work not neglect.
My girlfriend was the one who pulled away in my case, it was so abrupt and odd. She says she regrets not communicating things she didn’t like better, but how does someone acknowledge that and simultaneously decide it’s all over and they’re cutting it short? Man getting dumped sucks
Imma jot down that last line of yours hehe.
God, I've had my heart broken so many times. I feel like giving up sometimes but I can't because I want a family someday. I hate how women are constantly in and out of my life. But you have to know your own self worth and walk away when your not being treated the way you know you should be treated. Some day my love will find me, I just hope it doesn't take too long.
I totally feel ya Pain.
I can relate! One thing I know about GOD is that he has the best plans for his children, only that at times his protection upon us is misinterpreted somehow ,iam also just learning to trust his heart because understanding his plan I seem not to be doing. Trust me it's a little easier to be single or go through several failed relationships in the western world NOT in Africa ! It's a nightmare!
You are absolutely incredible! I can not talk to seek advise or inquire about these things with friends or family. They don’t have their own situations figured out and some people don’t want to see you happy. You’re a gem
Keep walking! ......NEXT!!!!
I agree give them a second chance if you really like them and they are sincere. But Susan is right if they go cold 🥶 keep walking no more chances.
The problem with relationships these days, is there is "too much" temptation and a plethora of information on what to do from what not to do. So this is the boundaries of confusion for a lot of people, what works for some wont work for others.
My advice, look at what you want out of a partner and dont accept anything less, your worth is more important than what anybody else thinks!
And for heavens sakes, dont fall for their charm to easily and stop having sex with them from the get go. Learn to wait, before you sleep with someone, let them earn your passage down their, its not a toy, it's where love starts and life is created.....if men are only after that, we have one of the oldest professions to provide those services, and it includes no emotions or strings attached, the only thing it comes with is a price tag for the duration.
Let them buy the cow, dont give them your milk for free, make them earn it, that's why men do what they do and don't want to settle down any more. Women make themselves to available. And I' m tired of hearing "we have needs"...... well, your needs can wait for the right person.
Stop sabotaging your emotional well being over people who are not worth it.
Great advice!
One critique I have is don't assume that all Relationships are getting Sexual while these Games are being played.
@Lili R, wow you comment was so deep! I especially loved “ its not a toy, it's where love starts and life is created.” Never heard it like that before! That was profound
@@UnexpectedWonder Thankyou! you're right in bringing up that point, however, I'm not assuming "all" lead down that path but most do, if you know what I mean, it sounded that way to you by the way I mentioned it. All good, I hear what you mean, I respect that.
@@LilliR4116 Indeed. I'm speaking from a Man's Perspective, so keep that in mind.
I love how you spoke about intuition !!! You’re so clever and not cookie cutter like these other relationships coaches
I'm 64, I'm taking myself out of the game ! To hard to understand
You are blessed and I love how you think outside the box..... captivating.
Thank you Suzy Quzy.
This is giving me a headache.
Really though!
it's almost like you're following my life to the tee. All your posts are directly relevant to my current life, its pretty surreal Susan. Have an awesome day! x
Richard Stein I love reading this. Believe it or not-- I hear this more than you'd imagine. A couple of times a week. I love it when the Universe puts us all of us in sync. Thanks for your note.
Run, run, run!!! He came back after months of leaving me heart broken and devastated. Said all the right things and used me only to change his mind two weeks later. This was after no contact. This was after months of agony trying to get over him. I hate him. Back to square one but this time, never again!!!!
Exactly what happened to me!!
I told him how devastated I was crying all the time, not eating, not sleeping, when I did eat something I got sick.
I told him don't do that to me again. He said he won't and he was so sorry. He did it again after two weeks!!!
Just been through this. Had a girl drop me after about 3 weeks and after we were intimate. We had great chemistry together I just didnt get it. I was quite cut up.
She came back 2 months later once i was back on my purpose and moving on.
Telling me I was amazing and we get work it out together. We had another 3 weeks of intense passion. I was nuts about her. Believed she felt the same. Then boom!! Cold as ice again.
So thats that. Some people just like to FUCK with you! Walk and dont look back. If they come back and you are foolish enough to tey again like i was you better be wearing armour and do NOT let that guard down for at least 2 to 3 months!
These are fucked up people.
Sorry that happened. Jeeze, the nerve. So reckless. Sending healing to your heart.
When we have one supposed ocean of opportunities it's easy to misunderstand what's going on in people's mind. But in fact, the truth is, people in our days don't know how to date properly, how to connect with others... it's everything so fast like mcdonald's food. You eat, you satisfied your needs and then you disappear.
But I believe how much you know yourself, how much you love yourself, the more you are open to receive from life the right person to match what you feel inside.
A man is like an expensive jewelry, it's to make us even more beautiful. So don't waste your pearls with pigs ;)
Huge hug Susan :)
In fact Crime Stoppers, don't waste your pearls with pigs is a Portuguese saying... means you should not lose your precious time with who don´t recognize who you are, or the pearl you are.
Alexandra Martinho completely true. pura verdade
Alexandra Martinho this is fantastic!!!!
Thank you so much Susan ;)
my ex came back after five years. we dated for two months then he ghosted me🤦🏾♀️ men ain’t shit
Reviewing this message again. God how I LOVE this channel! Im in the beginning of a new love relationship with a sultry Scorpio-God help me-and 20 years my junior-I am SO HAD!! Not going to repeat the mistakes of the past with Ms. Winter’s sage advice. Thank You! 🙏
Try to find true forgiveness in your heart, then give them a second chance. Maybe they were scared.
Very true. Compassion is needed for us all.
Not in my case. I'll forgive but not trust them again.
Oof, I gave mine a second chance. It was great for a year then he relapse all over again. He got complacent again and left.
UPDATE: After a month of treating the Scorpio POI with nothing but respect, appreciation and support(she has a lot of emotional wounds and deep dark places), with no warning or reason she shut me out and went off with a 73-year old narcissist "therapist" who chases 23 and 24 year old girls and uses his "healing services" as a private dating service to "date" female clients who are emotionally vulnerable or fragile. I finally realized the POI is also a narcissist. How perfect they found each other ;)
I am grateful she showed me who she is early on and I paid attention--the first time. These videos have taught me so much and taught me to "dodge the bullet": there is no going back or taking this person back. It saddens me there are so many people like this.
Hello! I just wanted to point out that the term " person of interest " is used by law enforcement to explain to the public that that particular person is the primary suspect in a crime and that they're gathering more evidence to charge said person.
Unkindness and inconsistency is a turn off.... and saves you alot of time.
I like that you used the word "tape deck." Old school. 🌟
Great advice- having a real talk with your ex who wants to come back
Some dating coaches advise not to bring up the past... to sweep everything under the rug and move forward
But I have soooooooo many questions! Lol!
I think not bringing up the past is where resentment lies and it also shows a lack of maturity in the relationship if it can not be brought up. Once sorted it’s good to not dwell but to ignore is not helping either parties.
Susan is so beautiful and wise.
I loved the “Tape Deck” comment. ❤️ ya! That “Red Light - Green Light” analogy was the Cat’s Meow! So glad I stumbled upon your You Tube site because you keep me feeling positive and hopeful that there are still some good partners out there. Much ❤️
Life is short... I prefer effortless healthy relationships. Men who have been inconsistent with me have had major issues. I met a club owner and we met... but, he called me six months later... I told him I was involved with someone. I'm typically not interested in men who don't court me in real time. A week later he committed suicide... so... he had huge issues.
My relationships have to flow effortlessly and blissfully... or I don't engage.
That’s cold
@@Tony-yn5un Not cold... I prefer healthy consistent loving relationships. The guy who killed him self had a long drug history...
The best advice I’ve heard. Many are imposing their own opinion which may or may not be suitable for a situation. Some of us fell for this kind of selfish advice from the so called dating/ relationship coach. Thank you for being real and telling us the truth!!
When someone pulls away the best thing to do for yourself is just to block them off your phone immediately. This way, you will not give in to temptation when they finally do contact you again and they almost always do. Don't give them the chance. If they pulled away in the first place, there is something wrong with THEM and this has not changed just because because you have not been in contact. They have stopped panicking about being smothered by you (I know, it's so ridiculous) and by now, they are curious as to why they have not heard from you. Their ego cannot accept that they don't have a hold over you like they did before. They are now going to try to regain that control so they can have the upper hand once more and sleep well at night. Don't let this happen! This is what the "block" button is for! Use it!!!!!!!
I think if they pull away once, it means they've rejected you because you weren't what they wanted. Even if they come back, it's not because they really want you. Maybe they just needed an ego boost, a place to stay, some sex, money, whatever.
I Agree. We will see if he comes back again. It won't happen again if he does!!!
The best video I have seen on RUclips ever. Spoke clearly to me. logical, concise and practical advice. Excellent delivery. Thank you.
should have listened to the gut and ran from day one..thanks for this video
Facts
Its really difficult when this happens. There's really juvenile advice out there that if men go no contact for 20 to 30 days then supposedly women come running when in actual fact its a huge turnoff. There is also advice to go no contact with narcissists. Perhaps they suspected this and realised you are not. What if they are narcissists giving the silent treatment? How on earth do we know what's going on? I hate these games.
Games are the choice of fearful people. Strong people have the power to play straight.
@@SusanWinter brilliant response!!
Susan Winter Heaven-sent!
why you care about a narc? just walk away
Susan Winter I love this! Spot on.
Those colors look great on you Susan!
Thank you for your outstanding advice, Susan! Btw, the colors in your top are absolutely beautiful (and so is the orchid in the vase next to you.)
In those days, you couldn’t win your ex back. Back then, once they dumped you, that’s it. It was time to move on. Today, however, things have changed and there is a way to win him or her back.
In my value system I cannot base my actions, feelings on someone else. Somebody needs to be consistent, strong if it's real, therefore I have to be the unconditional giver.
IN DOUBT OUT ...after they want to coming back . not honest again ...out ... be clear yourself ....be yourself honest .
Maybe we were together for 18 years married 15 years and have three children together and her selfishness is destroying our family. Maybe she is having a midlife crises or an affair idk but I can’t take being so unappreciated anymore and I hope when the grass isn’t greener she tries to come back to me so I can reject her. I hope she regrets everything she did to let me go.
How did it go?
Forgive them. Then put on your running shoes. You are not a doormat.
This is great advice. I am currently in this exact situation. Thing’s aren’t always so black and white. I was a nervous dater for years and afraid of commitment and all of that. Insecure in every way. I took a long break from dating and worked on myself and now am ready. And wouldn’t you know the first guy I could potentially see a future with got cold feet. It’s almost comical in a way.....the irony of it all. He’s a good guy and was obviously into me our first go round, although he never verbally expressed his feelings. When someone really likes you, they can’t hide it if they try. He showed me enough the first time to know he’s worth a second try. But, boy he better get it right this time! 😂 Thanks for all the helpful videos. You have helped me a lot. -Kim
What happened girl? Did they treat you right?
Kim H,your lovely smile can make the news!
Susan . I am wishing you beautiful vibrations for 2018 from Swansea Uk. You helped me so so much. Im letting go of my love one as after 25 years . I went back and tried. we have both changed in our daily life. I still love her so very , very much. so thats the best.
Awww, how touching. Thank you Shey! Wishing you a fantastic 2018. Thanks for being a part of my RUclips family.
It's just hard when you don't want to hurt them even though they've hurt you so much😭😭
Like you said, they've hurt you so much. Why even bother to spare their feelings when they didn't care for yours?
@@lovetrustandpixiedust it's just that I don't want to hurt anyone. Even unintentionally. I know what he did was extremely pathetic but I can't stoop down to his level😔
@@khushee008 I understand. Stay classy, and don't let the world harden you. Keep doing you! 💕
I'm so glad to have come across your channel! This spoke volumes as to things I've been through and helps tremendously. Thank you.
Great video! Dealt with a man who pulled away and came back several times. Last time I decided to call him out (in a nice way) which ended in him putting the blame on me and ending all things between us. Deleted my number (so he says) and unfriended me on Facebook. Really hope he sticks with his words now.
Omg Susan . This is completely true he pull way and them come back slow them stay more stronger and open them before. I see your video almost 10 time ❤️
Sabor Delicia I'm so glad this video had a message that works for you!! Thanks for your note.
I really love how optimistic you are and how to really evaluate people. My boyfriend and I are on and off. He constently pulls away so I pull away. We some how get back together, I am now really looking at the past 2 years and it hasn't been stable. I want something more but he hasn't been taking the steps to make it serious as much as he persues this hot andcold life. He wants me to commit yet he does this hot and cold thing. Im to the point where I need to put some serious boundaries down. I may even pull away to figure out how I got to this point with him. But your really helping me see somethings that really make more sense.
What happened since, Chrystal?
It's so hard to walk away especially when u ❤❤Them ...
I window shop with several dating consultants; but I only shop with Susan Winter: Relationship Advice for Adults.
He is not a player. He experiences relationship anxiety. His work keeps him so busy. His the avoidant type. Maybe I deserve better. He asked for time. So many sacrificing. Real talk time!
Too many folks are utterly confused. I try until it's clearly not working.
For last 2 month he pulled me away 3 times. After few day always comes and cries and says he still loves me and I'm a woman of his life that he feels sad he cant sleep. But he is not ready to give me what I deserve. I never was needy never ask him to come back. Every time my wounds cured and I try to move on and even date with another man he comes back. It's very challenging. I know he just satisfies his ego. But he broke my heart again and again and again.
I enjoy all your videos always give genuine advise and respond to all the comments as well
you are my favourite and you are always right on about everything . One of the best coaches 💞or the only one 😉
THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!
He came back and i give him the second chance and after a couple of months we came back to where we was before. Can you tell what might be something wrong?
Thank you in advance. God bless.
Ooo I like the bit about games and fears. It can be used as a learning experience
I expect no one to be back in my life but if this material appears it might be useful for something 🙂
Such a wise woman, love you Susan!
Contact him for all kind of problems including saving your marriage or relationship from divorce,..
Text him on this number
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This is so heart lifting, so educative, so brilliant! Susan you just rock! Thanks alot for sharing such wisdom, God bless you 💞
What if I don't want them back anymore. How do I respectfully reject that person?
Be polite, diplomatic, and clear about the fact that you're not going in the same direction and there isn't a substantial connection for you.
Isn't there a song that goes "Hit the road Jack, don't ya come back no more...no more...no more...no more.....Hit the road Jack...and don't ya come back no more..!"
You could belt that out..!
I used it to practice on as I met her on line 10 years ago and she did that to me then . Lucky she could not rember me at all. So I had fun practice on my chatting up skills with her then walked away.
She will NEVER come back because I don't "qualify". She went to an expensive private school and associated with all the "pretty people" that discussed their recent trips to the Bahamas or Europe. She likes people that are delusional, just like her. She's one of those that wants the gold ring, the movie star, talented show person, well endowed. I've known her since fifth grade. She told me once that we could never do more than date casually because she did not want to "ruin the friendship". She left me cold. She ruined it. I'm never speak to her again.
Excellent video!
I appreciate you so much Susan!
I wish you were around in my 20s.
Lovely advice as always!
Thanks Alisa X
VERY smart! Excellent way to look at it!
GREAT
Thx
I was seeing someone for 3 months .Everything was going well . We were exclusive, met his friends all good.
He started a new job which required travel and a new business 3 weeks ago.He has kids as well so issues with that also with the ex.
He started to get a bit cold but remained communicative and we continued to meet.We had a small issue where he didn’t walk me to my car on an icy drive way and said he’s tired. I left without saying bye.
He basically stopped communication, when I texted replied but didn’t call when I asked and left to his next business trip.Its been a week, not sure what to do.I have a feeling he will reach out but how I should respond back is the question.
Thank you so much for helping get through this tough time
Damn, woman - you're good!!!!
The way you explain is awesome 😍
Dialogue is necessary.
Nowadays, people like to switch from A to B like updating apps.
This ain't life, I mean real life.
Dialogue is the key of any relationship
Thanks again Susan wonderful video very helpful.
I'm in this situation... ex gf broke up without warning 4.5 months ago without any warning. I didn't react well, 2 NC periods, a botched meetup. After 15 days silence, I find out she has quit her job at the Ministry of education in Colombia, and run to her Sisters place in Canada. Her cell phone is off, and she reached out a'la 1996, with an email, with a very vague "hi, I know you are worried, I'm ok now, let's stick with this method "for now"
WTF??, I suspect her freaking weirdo ex from years ago has a hand in this mess, and that she literally had to flee Colombia to escape him, or some madness he's putting her through. I love this girl..and based on the botched meetup we had where she was sincerely reaching out to me... but I basically was more focused on rubbing her nose in it and playing "hurt feelings guy" instead of just kissing her, being there for her. (I did showcase how actions have consequences though! Lol!) Anyway, its gonna be hard not literally interrogating her when I see her next. I have a LOT of questions.....
A common issue these days is that people get too invested in the endless possibilities and potentials of people to swipe on that that they don’t invest genuinely and wholeheartedly into one person they connect with, like people did in the past society. I was born in 2000; we’re a generation of phases, faster changes and short attention spans.
You always have the best advice
always solid advice.
Thank you, Susan, you rock! ⭐️💪🏼💜🦋 I gave 3 kind and generous opportunities to come back to a good guy with not so great skills... Unfortunately, he is not making me a priority; so I called him out on it, telling him how I feel... And he blew up... And blew any further chances. That’s the problem with being too nice. 😔 What do you think?
Monica Sancio Vegan Fit Motivation honestly if he “blew up” you saved yourself heartache further down the road. If he gets that angry because you were sharing your feelings and being a high value woman, do you really want to be with a guy like that? I think you did the right thing 👍🏻❤️
Yup. Games = Fears !!
What if he comes back asking marriage? I did just walk away when he pulled away
Thank you so much for all of your wisdom and advice! I feel like you were sent by an angel 😇 because whenever I listen to your program, I always gain much needed clarity✨ Thank you, thank you🙏🏼💗
LovelyLeo Lady, you look stunning
@@lioydwilliams1850 🙏🏼 wow! Thank you!🥰
Good advice, you made sense.
Thank you. I deserve answers!
Great video Susan! It came at perfect time and I thank you :)
Excellent.
I found myself pulling away, because of fears.
It's feasible to pull away because of fears. But have you considered that maybe you pulled away because you didn't like him enough? I've never really seen anybody who's "heads over heels" pull away.
@C C, yeah sounds like he wasn't interested in anything more than keeping it casual with you. Sorry to hear that.
NOPE! , thank you i’m good . And thats how you move on
Hi Susan! Can you make a video on tips for online dating for women over 40 or the red flags to spot in men online?
Ohhh. That's a good one. Let me write this one out and I certainly will. Thanks for the suggestion.
Michelle Grenier good one! I AGREE!
Terrific. Now I know you and Michelle we'll be getting a video that you both want!
My issue is that I get a ton of matches from men under 35 but I don’t know if they’re just out for a one night stand or something more.
+Michelle Grenier, I don't think there will ever be a good way to figure out if men are just into one night stand or not. People can keep up a facade and hide who they truly are for at least 90 days to a year. You'll just have to test them and judge how they react to those tests. Try telling them you don't have sex until a you're in a committed relationship and see what their action/reaction is. If they blow a fit or go into super pleaser mode - then watch out.
Love your work, realness❤❤❤
Question. I just got shamed by a man because I told him I sent a “peace offering gift” to a guy I was seeing. I wanted to salvage the friendship part and felt it was ok to send an olive branch approach. My friend said it was a bad move and would have adverse reaction to the male as me looking weak while bruising his ego. I don’t get that. Is ego and pride more important than mending at bare minimum a friendship? I couldn’t cancel the gift. Will this blow up in my face? I don’t understand how wanting to make peace and sending a useful gift ( it was a Calloway 3 wood) is wrong. Am I in for it?
Thankyou for sharing the best advice 🦋🌸🌷🌸💫