You hit the nail on the head really, it's detaching what we actually value from what we have been taught directly or indirectly as the recipe for success/happiness. I'm in a good place with my career, I don't legitimately know if I want to sacrifice more to go 'further'. As I get older I am valuing experiencing the life I have more than selling more of my time to experience it 'better'. Not factoring anyone else's potential judgement or societal 'norms'. I think if anything I respect people more who don't feel the need to conform and do what they feel is right for them, I long to be someone who can stop the endless false pursuit of happiness, instead cultivating it where ever I am. Wishing you all the best, takes a lot of balls to make such a big decision!
Sounds like you're light years ahead of the game in terms of your personal development. I know so many people who have had very successful careers and once they reach retirement, face a lot of regret for having made some of the sacrifices they had to to get there. Nothing wrong with success, I just think we all need to weigh up the real cost before pulling the trigger.
Us humans want to be respected and liked and to give off an aura because we want to be included and feel part of the group. We're social creatures and want people to like us. Without that, there is a part of us that feels vulnerable and at risk of predators (in our old ancestor world), so this is where that feeling comes from. I can really relate to this though, I admire the fact you spoke about this, it's very courageous of you. I am a senior software engineer in a leadership band, but have lost the motivation for it and wonder why on earth I am getting each morning to go into a job I no longer enjoy. I am considering resigning too and switching to a career that resonates more with me. When you said you wanted certain things from life but were not prepared to make those sacrifices, I really connected here. Having to stop and ask yourself what you really want and what is important to you is powerful and many people never dissolve their own ego and see clarity.
This is a good point. I had a job I didn’t like, it was the most boring job I’ve ever had, and I did that for a couple of years, but it didn’t weigh on me that much as I had a great social life outside work so I would only see it as a way to pay rent/bills in London. It’s about finding a balance and making sure you keep yourself fulfilled outside work to balance it out or you just end up being miserable…
Success is waking up in the morning and having a sense of peace, fulfilment and overall satisfaction with all that you have. Gratitude! It's all about balance; good health, good relationships and financial comfort. Live in the present and remember that one day we will all 'die', so don't sweat the small stuff. I've been through a myriad of challenges just like you in my 30s (in 40s now) and there will always be good and bad times. When I became a father it changed my attitude towards a lot of things, for the better. You're a good egg Jay, just keep pushing forward.
Thank you for the video So, trying to unpack things here in a concise way... the drives which you call your "ego" in the video, exist for a multitude of reasons which, based on how you've grown up, challenges you've had to overcome, build this version of self which has been great to survive to this point - a first step is not giving yourself a hard time over the need to do that as it is by far a very normal thing to do, especially in a society that projects so strongly on how they think a man ought to be! Where you have come to in your videos, and how you describe the difficulty, is recognizing that you aren't doing what you actually enjoy or... debatably not even doing it for yourself. For example, if a career in sales isn't what you want to do and you knowingly put on a mask of getting by - who is that for? What image are you trying to uphold, and why? These are all the things to unpack to help lead towards a better understanding of self. The awkward irony in it all, is that so often we get stuck in our ways to be a certain way, say and think and do things we think would be 'valued' by others... we forget that we are not doing these things for ourselves AND YET, in equal measure, that self worth/confidence/self value or empowerment is actually far more useful to the people in your life but so swiftly ignored or dismissed for seeming inconvenient. Many of us don't realise that until way later in life!
What you said at 16:40 to 16:56… that resonated with me. I think you should expand on that. Eg. How do you admit the reality of where you are? Or how does one even come to recognise that? I suspect that some people live their whole life without realising they are in that fantasy. Being humble about the next step, what do you mean? I’ve found it thought provoking mate.
I've been watching a few of your videos,you would make a great life coach you know :) just saying.Not sure if you thought about that and I know life coaching has become abit of an industry and buzz word as with so many of the "Self improvement/therapy"movements but I do think being radically honest in the way you have been not only with yourself but also on video takes alot of courage. Personally I think there is room for much more community based life coaching maybe where people do things in community,it could be like running retreats or groups away somewhere. Idk...and maybe this is unsolicited suggestion but I just think there is such a need for life guidance and feedback and mentoring especially in younger people and of course those much older who can in many ways feel just as lost and purposeless or confused about life but who are not good at admitting it. I just think you would make a great life coach/therapist/mentor and wonder if you had thought about this? Last I think you mentioned you might learn a trade as there are many in your family who are trades people which is also great if thats what you really want but I wasn't getting the vibe of "this is what I really really want to do"and more this is what is familiar and I already know vibe.
This video resonates a lot with me and reminds me of 2 quotes which I often think on. “I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think, you think I am." - Charles Horton Cooley “You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” - Carl Jung
Always love your insights, this one particularly resonated with me. I daydream all the time about things I want myself to be: have many friends that admire me, a beautiful and kind wife with a family, people admiring me for my knowledge at work, etc. It always seems out of reach, and I just sit here daydreaming, not taking concrete steps to improve myself. I am mostly concerned about what people think of me rather than what I really want for myself. I used to think once I have a good career and was well off financially everything would be solved and I would be happy since people would admire me for that. I was wrong, nobody cares. Well, maybe some do but those are not the people I want to be around. So I quit my well paying job since it was making me miserable and am now trying to find out what I really want. I wish I could stop caring how people perceive me and not make everything about me. I am applying for therapy, so I hope that might be a step in the right direction. Sorry for the ramble and thank you for the video, it was very insightful
Wow, your experience with the idea of your perceived life really resonated with me. Almost a decade ago, I was in grad school as a history student. Thought I would do my Masters then move on and get my PhD and eventually find some tenure track position as a some professor somewhere. However, my first year of my Masters was really stressful. Felt night and day difference to undergraduate work. Barely had any sleep and constantly worried about my next deadline. Felt like I could never spend any time with my wife let alone any free time for myself. Ended up just quitting about two thirds of the way through my second semester. I remember feeling really ashamed at doing so like everyone was thinking, "Wow, couldn't cut it huh?" Even having to admit it to my family or friends. Really screwed me up mentally. This decision to quit really weighed on me for years after. Heck, even almost after quitting graduate school...I was already thinking about how I should try again and go back. I eventually even looked into some schools and contacted them. But that idea of what my success would resemble and what it would bring is really what drove my mind. I liked the idea of being really highly knowledgeable in a very specific thing. The prestige of having such a high degree. And to be one of few in my family to do so. Obviously being able to go back and get the degrees and show everyone that yeah, I could do it weighed on my mind too. I mean, don't get me wrong. I did like what I was studying. I enjoyed the process and the historical debate. So it wasn't like I hated what I was doing but I think somewhere in there I realized that I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I'm sure I could do it, but yeah...just that amount of sacrifice I'd need to put in (sleepless nights, pressure, time away from family), I wasn't really wanting to do that. And it took me forever to understand that. I don't know that I got over the fear of others judging me for quitting grad school especially since now I'm unemployed and working on at-home game dev stuff. But, at the very least, I think I've finally got over judging myself for quitting. Glad to see you decided to still make videos and have more planned. Take care, Jay.
Thanks for sharing this story, this is exactly what I mean. Working hard for prestige, accolades, money etc is not really the problem - doing it for other people's approval is. I also find that doing hard things is much easier when I'm doing them for me. Great to hear from you
Hey Jay great hearing from you again man. I’ve definitely had the same fantasy image of myself that of me being a rich businessman. It’s funny I remember a time when I was unemployed for quite a bit and knew that a random fast food job or something would be a big improvement but I just couldn’t do it Lol. But really man I think what really matters is having enough $ to be comfortable and good personal relationships although it is nice to fantasize about a dream life but like you said it’s about being truthful to ourselves and the situations that we’re in.
I feel like it's so hard for self development once you get past 16-18 years old. Your personality and traits are already embedded in. You are moulded by your upbringings and journey. Everyone else out there is already where they want to be and feel free, whereas we are stuck in a vicious circle. Honestly it's incredible how many great points you make and some of this resonates with me. every person is different and it's so much harder for us than people can imagine. Loneliness is no joke. I did want to ask, and I'm almost certainly asking too personal a question, if not would be interesting for another video. Is what does your partner think of your battles you face? I'm sure she supports you, but do you feel guilt or embarrassment for not having those few solid friendships. I don't have a partner, but I know for an absolute fact I'd feel this horrible guilt and embarrassment that my partner would think I'm awkward or not good enough. Sorry again if that's too personal.
It's definitely harder but not impossible. Check out a term called "neuro-plastisity" - humans are capable of changing well into adulthood. I think the issue is not so much with change, it's that we get better and better at building walls/defenses/reasons/excuses not to change. My partner is actually really supportive of me. She's had her own struggles in the past and what we admired most about each other in the beginning of our relationship was that we were working on ourselves through therapy etc. I made a video a while back about why it's not a good idea to have a girlfriend and on reflection, there are some points I want to take back and I'll tackle that in a later video. If you tell yourself "I'll find a girl when I've fixed X" what you're really saying is "I'm not good enough now". They did a study on what women really wanted from men and underneath the whole "6ft+, £100k+ etc" was actually the underlying idea that they needed to feel their partner had the potential to look after them, even if they weren't in that place yet. Don't wait around Brother - that girl, those friendships, those opportunities are all out there waiting for you, Now.
I recommend the book "The Fantasy Bond" by Firestone to you. It won't change you, but I think it will expand on the ideas you laid out in this video. :)
@@JayWallace Welcome! And just to be clear, it won't expand on all the ideas, but mostly fantasy, letting go and change. Hope you like it, and even if you don't, I hope you get to the place where you want to be! You deserve it
I like the part when you said that we want to get materials not because we want it but the true motive is we want others to see ilus with the fancy car for ex , me personally I held a phd in philosophy I've been struggling to find a job but couldn't and now I'm applying for a visa work to canada a work not related to my studies traditional cooking but I'm fine with it if that job cover my need it's find by me the one who will make fun at me of consider me blow him is not going to feed me or pay my fees , that why we respect people and not define them by there jobs , the most important thing is to he happy and find love and kindness
Thanks for sharing, glad you found that helpful :) The job market does seem to be really tough at the moment and it's tough spending all day applying on the job boards. Hope the next opportunity comes round for you soon.
The thing is, youve hit many nails on the head with one video. We shouldnt acquire all these belongings and trappings of success to make people respect, love and even envy us. Neither should family and friends expect or put peer pressure on us to do so to earn their love and respect. Not giving a shit is vitally important and it usually starts about your age - it did for me - and its amazing. Just lap it up. Exactly "what he said" your words about people getting on and not giving a shit. Polar example, take Harry Styles. Hes young, hot, not untalented but he does what the record company tells him, erm sorry "advises", to do. They choose his outfits, interviews and maybe even his girlfriends. Now, look at "middle child" Noel Gallagher. I know you play guitar, i know you may hate oasis (many do!) and Noels solo work. He was a shy "forgotten" middle child, living in the shadow of an older brother and a gregarious younger brother, beaten by his father. He retreated to his teenage bedroom, learned the chords, wrote the songs and the rest...you know. Look at him now or even back in his heyday, 1 million miles from harry styles. Of course with wealth and success its easy but he was like that even early on when they played the toilet circuit. Your candour and honesty is refreshing and other peoples perception and problems are theirs to deal with. History and childhood can be problematic , our parents often adopt a "one size fits all" style of rearing and then wonder why some of their kids turn out "unsuccessful" (i dont think you are btw or your parents see you as such) and some are very successful. Parental perception and the lack of adaptation causes us problem especially as we are cast into a world where we supposed to be Schwarzenegger/Stallone/Andrew Tate or whatever. Some boys are also emotionally more sensitive and need extra nurture and affection and dont get it because by the time they are 10-11 their dad stops hugging them and holding their hand in case it makes his boy weak. I dont have kids, but my neohew is 14 and i hug him everytime i see him, i had a shitty time at his age in 1992 and i want him to know im here for him. Just look at the quality and length of comment your videos inspire. Im usually watching Guitar or car shit on youtube which will ultimately make me probably spend more money. Your videos are stellar and i immediately watch them and im inspired by your honesty and authenticity. As for "lowly" jobs, some of the staff in my local chain coffee place are super humble and nice even in the face of stupid instagram types barking frappe orders at them through botoxed lips. We should treat people with the kindness we wish to receive and simply "be more dog" 😊🙏
Thanks as always for your comments, I can see you have spent a lot of time reflecting on life and maybe you're slightly ahead of the game than me so it's always good to hear your insights. Comments like this keep me posting. Thank you.
@@JayWallace just spotted this having just commented... but absolutely this is a great path and tool to help figure out these parts... it's a process, it takes time but it will be really rewarding, especially with how readily available you are to connect deeply and think/feel on topics!
You hit the nail on the head really, it's detaching what we actually value from what we have been taught directly or indirectly as the recipe for success/happiness. I'm in a good place with my career, I don't legitimately know if I want to sacrifice more to go 'further'. As I get older I am valuing experiencing the life I have more than selling more of my time to experience it 'better'. Not factoring anyone else's potential judgement or societal 'norms'. I think if anything I respect people more who don't feel the need to conform and do what they feel is right for them, I long to be someone who can stop the endless false pursuit of happiness, instead cultivating it where ever I am.
Wishing you all the best, takes a lot of balls to make such a big decision!
Sounds like you're light years ahead of the game in terms of your personal development. I know so many people who have had very successful careers and once they reach retirement, face a lot of regret for having made some of the sacrifices they had to to get there.
Nothing wrong with success, I just think we all need to weigh up the real cost before pulling the trigger.
Us humans want to be respected and liked and to give off an aura because we want to be included and feel part of the group. We're social creatures and want people to like us. Without that, there is a part of us that feels vulnerable and at risk of predators (in our old ancestor world), so this is where that feeling comes from. I can really relate to this though, I admire the fact you spoke about this, it's very courageous of you. I am a senior software engineer in a leadership band, but have lost the motivation for it and wonder why on earth I am getting each morning to go into a job I no longer enjoy. I am considering resigning too and switching to a career that resonates more with me.
When you said you wanted certain things from life but were not prepared to make those sacrifices, I really connected here. Having to stop and ask yourself what you really want and what is important to you is powerful and many people never dissolve their own ego and see clarity.
I wish I could give you a hug. You're so handsome and emotionally intelligent and so worthy of love, please know this.
I think only the sense of belonging, being part of some community, feeling warmth and love from kind people can solve these issues.
Really true and if I'm brutally honest with myself, the one thing I avoid working on.
This is a good point. I had a job I didn’t like, it was the most boring job I’ve ever had, and I did that for a couple of years, but it didn’t weigh on me that much as I had a great social life outside work so I would only see it as a way to pay rent/bills in London. It’s about finding a balance and making sure you keep yourself fulfilled outside work to balance it out or you just end up being miserable…
Success is waking up in the morning and having a sense of peace, fulfilment and overall satisfaction with all that you have. Gratitude! It's all about balance; good health, good relationships and financial comfort. Live in the present and remember that one day we will all 'die', so don't sweat the small stuff. I've been through a myriad of challenges just like you in my 30s (in 40s now) and there will always be good and bad times. When I became a father it changed my attitude towards a lot of things, for the better. You're a good egg Jay, just keep pushing forward.
Thank you for the video
So, trying to unpack things here in a concise way... the drives which you call your "ego" in the video, exist for a multitude of reasons which, based on how you've grown up, challenges you've had to overcome, build this version of self which has been great to survive to this point - a first step is not giving yourself a hard time over the need to do that as it is by far a very normal thing to do, especially in a society that projects so strongly on how they think a man ought to be!
Where you have come to in your videos, and how you describe the difficulty, is recognizing that you aren't doing what you actually enjoy or... debatably not even doing it for yourself. For example, if a career in sales isn't what you want to do and you knowingly put on a mask of getting by - who is that for? What image are you trying to uphold, and why? These are all the things to unpack to help lead towards a better understanding of self.
The awkward irony in it all, is that so often we get stuck in our ways to be a certain way, say and think and do things we think would be 'valued' by others... we forget that we are not doing these things for ourselves AND YET, in equal measure, that self worth/confidence/self value or empowerment is actually far more useful to the people in your life but so swiftly ignored or dismissed for seeming inconvenient. Many of us don't realise that until way later in life!
What you said at 16:40 to 16:56… that resonated with me. I think you should expand on that. Eg. How do you admit the reality of where you are? Or how does one even come to recognise that? I suspect that some people live their whole life without realising they are in that fantasy. Being humble about the next step, what do you mean? I’ve found it thought provoking mate.
Jay, you're a great person. Wish you all the best!
I've been watching a few of your videos,you would make a great life coach you know :) just saying.Not sure if you thought about that and I know life coaching has become abit of an industry and buzz word as with so many of the "Self improvement/therapy"movements but I do think being radically honest in the way you have been not only with yourself but also on video takes alot of courage.
Personally I think there is room for much more community based life coaching maybe where people do things in community,it could be like running retreats or groups away somewhere.
Idk...and maybe this is unsolicited suggestion but I just think there is such a need for life guidance and feedback and mentoring especially in younger people and of course those much older who can in many ways feel just as lost and purposeless or confused about life but who are not good at admitting it.
I just think you would make a great life coach/therapist/mentor and wonder if you had thought about this? Last I think you mentioned you might learn a trade as there are many in your family who are trades people which is also great if thats what you really want but I wasn't getting the vibe of "this is what I really really want to do"and more this is what is familiar and I already know vibe.
This video resonates a lot with me and reminds me of 2 quotes which I often think on.
“I'm not what I think I am. I'm not what you think I am. I am what I think, you think I am." - Charles Horton Cooley
“You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” - Carl Jung
Always love your insights, this one particularly resonated with me. I daydream all the time about things I want myself to be: have many friends that admire me, a beautiful and kind wife with a family, people admiring me for my knowledge at work, etc. It always seems out of reach, and I just sit here daydreaming, not taking concrete steps to improve myself. I am mostly concerned about what people think of me rather than what I really want for myself. I used to think once I have a good career and was well off financially everything would be solved and I would be happy since people would admire me for that. I was wrong, nobody cares. Well, maybe some do but those are not the people I want to be around. So I quit my well paying job since it was making me miserable and am now trying to find out what I really want. I wish I could stop caring how people perceive me and not make everything about me. I am applying for therapy, so I hope that might be a step in the right direction. Sorry for the ramble and thank you for the video, it was very insightful
Wow, your experience with the idea of your perceived life really resonated with me. Almost a decade ago, I was in grad school as a history student. Thought I would do my Masters then move on and get my PhD and eventually find some tenure track position as a some professor somewhere. However, my first year of my Masters was really stressful. Felt night and day difference to undergraduate work. Barely had any sleep and constantly worried about my next deadline. Felt like I could never spend any time with my wife let alone any free time for myself. Ended up just quitting about two thirds of the way through my second semester. I remember feeling really ashamed at doing so like everyone was thinking, "Wow, couldn't cut it huh?" Even having to admit it to my family or friends. Really screwed me up mentally.
This decision to quit really weighed on me for years after. Heck, even almost after quitting graduate school...I was already thinking about how I should try again and go back. I eventually even looked into some schools and contacted them. But that idea of what my success would resemble and what it would bring is really what drove my mind. I liked the idea of being really highly knowledgeable in a very specific thing. The prestige of having such a high degree. And to be one of few in my family to do so. Obviously being able to go back and get the degrees and show everyone that yeah, I could do it weighed on my mind too.
I mean, don't get me wrong. I did like what I was studying. I enjoyed the process and the historical debate. So it wasn't like I hated what I was doing but I think somewhere in there I realized that I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I'm sure I could do it, but yeah...just that amount of sacrifice I'd need to put in (sleepless nights, pressure, time away from family), I wasn't really wanting to do that. And it took me forever to understand that. I don't know that I got over the fear of others judging me for quitting grad school especially since now I'm unemployed and working on at-home game dev stuff. But, at the very least, I think I've finally got over judging myself for quitting.
Glad to see you decided to still make videos and have more planned. Take care, Jay.
Thanks for sharing this story, this is exactly what I mean.
Working hard for prestige, accolades, money etc is not really the problem - doing it for other people's approval is.
I also find that doing hard things is much easier when I'm doing them for me.
Great to hear from you
Hey Jay great hearing from you again man. I’ve definitely had the same fantasy image of myself that of me being a rich businessman.
It’s funny I remember a time when I was unemployed for quite a bit and knew that a random fast food job or something would be a big improvement but I just couldn’t do it Lol.
But really man I think what really matters is having enough $ to be comfortable and good personal relationships although it is nice to fantasize about a dream life but like you said it’s about being truthful to ourselves and the situations that we’re in.
I feel like it's so hard for self development once you get past 16-18 years old. Your personality and traits are already embedded in. You are moulded by your upbringings and journey.
Everyone else out there is already where they want to be and feel free, whereas we are stuck in a vicious circle.
Honestly it's incredible how many great points you make and some of this resonates with me.
every person is different and it's so much harder for us than people can imagine. Loneliness is no joke.
I did want to ask, and I'm almost certainly asking too personal a question, if not would be interesting for another video. Is what does your partner think of your battles you face? I'm sure she supports you, but do you feel guilt or embarrassment for not having those few solid friendships. I don't have a partner, but I know for an absolute fact I'd feel this horrible guilt and embarrassment that my partner would think I'm awkward or not good enough. Sorry again if that's too personal.
It's definitely harder but not impossible. Check out a term called "neuro-plastisity" - humans are capable of changing well into adulthood.
I think the issue is not so much with change, it's that we get better and better at building walls/defenses/reasons/excuses not to change.
My partner is actually really supportive of me. She's had her own struggles in the past and what we admired most about each other in the beginning of our relationship was that we were working on ourselves through therapy etc.
I made a video a while back about why it's not a good idea to have a girlfriend and on reflection, there are some points I want to take back and I'll tackle that in a later video.
If you tell yourself "I'll find a girl when I've fixed X" what you're really saying is "I'm not good enough now".
They did a study on what women really wanted from men and underneath the whole "6ft+, £100k+ etc" was actually the underlying idea that they needed to feel their partner had the potential to look after them, even if they weren't in that place yet.
Don't wait around Brother - that girl, those friendships, those opportunities are all out there waiting for you, Now.
@@JayWallaceamazing comment, absolutely Yoda level insight.
@@teaboyuk Thank you, Padiwan 😂
@@JayWallace🙏
I recommend the book "The Fantasy Bond" by Firestone to you. It won't change you, but I think it will expand on the ideas you laid out in this video. :)
Thank you, I'll check it out
@@JayWallace Welcome! And just to be clear, it won't expand on all the ideas, but mostly fantasy, letting go and change. Hope you like it, and even if you don't, I hope you get to the place where you want to be! You deserve it
I like the part when you said that we want to get materials not because we want it but the true motive is we want others to see ilus with the fancy car for ex , me personally I held a phd in philosophy I've been struggling to find a job but couldn't and now I'm applying for a visa work to canada a work not related to my studies traditional cooking but I'm fine with it if that job cover my need it's find by me the one who will make fun at me of consider me blow him is not going to feed me or pay my fees , that why we respect people and not define them by there jobs , the most important thing is to he happy and find love and kindness
Thanks for sharing, glad you found that helpful :)
The job market does seem to be really tough at the moment and it's tough spending all day applying on the job boards. Hope the next opportunity comes round for you soon.
@@JayWallace thank you Jay 😊
The thing is, youve hit many nails on the head with one video.
We shouldnt acquire all these belongings and trappings of success to make people respect, love and even envy us. Neither should family and friends expect or put peer pressure on us to do so to earn their love and respect.
Not giving a shit is vitally important and it usually starts about your age - it did for me - and its amazing. Just lap it up.
Exactly "what he said" your words about people getting on and not giving a shit.
Polar example, take Harry Styles. Hes young, hot, not untalented but he does what the record company tells him, erm sorry "advises", to do. They choose his outfits, interviews and maybe even his girlfriends.
Now, look at "middle child" Noel Gallagher. I know you play guitar, i know you may hate oasis (many do!) and Noels solo work. He was a shy "forgotten" middle child, living in the shadow of an older brother and a gregarious younger brother, beaten by his father. He retreated to his teenage bedroom, learned the chords, wrote the songs and the rest...you know. Look at him now or even back in his heyday, 1 million miles from harry styles. Of course with wealth and success its easy but he was like that even early on when they played the toilet circuit.
Your candour and honesty is refreshing and other peoples perception and problems are theirs to deal with.
History and childhood can be problematic , our parents often adopt a "one size fits all" style of rearing and then wonder why some of their kids turn out "unsuccessful" (i dont think you are btw or your parents see you as such) and some are very successful. Parental perception and the lack of adaptation causes us problem especially as we are cast into a world where we supposed to be Schwarzenegger/Stallone/Andrew Tate or whatever.
Some boys are also emotionally more sensitive and need extra nurture and affection and dont get it because by the time they are 10-11 their dad stops hugging them and holding their hand in case it makes his boy weak.
I dont have kids, but my neohew is 14 and i hug him everytime i see him, i had a shitty time at his age in 1992 and i want him to know im here for him.
Just look at the quality and length of comment your videos inspire. Im usually watching Guitar or car shit on youtube which will ultimately make me probably spend more money. Your videos are stellar and i immediately watch them and im inspired by your honesty and authenticity.
As for "lowly" jobs, some of the staff in my local chain coffee place are super humble and nice even in the face of stupid instagram types barking frappe orders at them through botoxed lips.
We should treat people with the kindness we wish to receive and simply "be more dog" 😊🙏
Thanks as always for your comments, I can see you have spent a lot of time reflecting on life and maybe you're slightly ahead of the game than me so it's always good to hear your insights.
Comments like this keep me posting. Thank you.
Are you going to therapy ?
I am, yes.
@@JayWallace just spotted this having just commented... but absolutely this is a great path and tool to help figure out these parts... it's a process, it takes time but it will be really rewarding, especially with how readily available you are to connect deeply and think/feel on topics!
Potential middle child detected
I really like your videos. Greetings from Germany
Thanks for the message, glad you like them :)