"Why are nerds who are bullied about not being manly enough turn around and replicate that behavior in their own communities?" That is the greatest mystery of "gamer" culture, my friend.
6 years late and just a theory, but maybe it’s because most games are, in some way, about violence. They’re highly fictionalized scenarios where men who can’t establish dominance in a traditional masculine way find a way to establish it in an extremely masculine setting: one that is often set in a military battlefield, one that is set in a historical, patriarchal settings, or often both, where they gain success by fighting and killing enemies, using hyper masculine avatars. Nerdy interests are still masculine, just not modern and mainstream
Because they want to be manly, to be the guy who pulls all the chicks, if anything the ones that are bullied often grow resentment and want to replicate that hate against someone weaker so they feel in power, like whoever bullied them
The idea of using femininity as an insult is just so disheartening to me. I am whole, fully rounded person with depth and intelligence and the notion that a man being like me somehow lessens his value has its effects. And the idea that Penny being physically stronger or showing more stereotypically 'manly' traits is somehow the basis for a joke is also just as damaging.
Thank you for revealing that nerds and so called “ nice guys “ can be sexist too. They can treat women like objects and nothing more than a “ status “ too. I’m also glad you mentioned how Hollywood loves to mock Asian men for their sexuality.
You realize the show isn't written by nerds or nice guys, right? Nerds actually despise the show and have for years. There are countless blogs about that ever since the 2nd season of the show turned into: "I'm a nerd, that makes everything I do hilarious."
Andrés Gómez I’m a nerd and I have dated nerds before . I’m into books and video games . I have been in those spaces and nerds can be sexist and misogynist. They can also BE racist too . I am a black woman and I dealt with racism and sexism in those communities . Just because YOU aren’t doesn’t mean every nerd isn’t . I used the Big Bang Theory as ONE example .
It always worried me about how they addressed depression and suicide. Every scene with Stuart in it made me really sad. The group's casual dismissal of his suicidal comments.
@@PopCultureDetective I have to agree with this statement above, there shows and films that show that being a nerd isn’t something to be ashamed of maybe you should show those things there has to be positive nerd representation, and culture somewhere.
@@JarodFarrant you're missing the point, he doesn't tell you not to enjoy these shows, you still very much can, he's pointing out inherent issues burnt into these shows. there's a good chance the directors of these shows don't even know they're playing into them.
@@JarodFarrant In part 1 of this video essay he does give examples of good nerd representation in popular media, including characters like Abed in Community and that one guy from Parks and Rec I unfortunately cant remember the name of.
As a scientist I never liked the way they depicted scientists in general. So I can understand that geeks also got offended. Everything is very far fetched.
And that's why it is funny right!?😂 lime revenge of the nerds. Even as a 8 year old I understood it was a severe exaggeration of what "nerds" are like. But they use science and knowledge to overcome and win the day. Great story. Fun, imaginative, and this show is no different. My wife and I laugh our butts off and at the end of the day that is all that matters. We certainly don't take it literal like so many of these people and the narrator.
Honestly I could never get over how they kept raj single. The actor is the most physically attractive guy, and personality of his character was so sweet, funny and genuine. I think any woman would want him over the rest....
While I agree with your point on keeping him single I disagree he was the most attractive option. His tendencies to lean towards homosexuality would be very off-putting to most women who want a straight man for a partner. Honestly they took it too far with his character and kinda ruined his character. They had plenty of options to give him a steady partner but the budget of adding another full time regular and matching their salary to the others was the problem I'm sure. It always ends up causing great shows to grt cancelled. You bring in too many new characters and the budget gets too big.
@@aliceinwonderland1957 🤣🤣🤣 I would say the least insufferable would be Leonard but I'm a guy so...I'm far from an expert on what a woman would choose. I just think when push comes to shove most women would look at Raj and think he is sweet but put him right in the friend zone because there are SO many red flags. And for 6 seasons he couldn't even talk to a woman without getting drunk. Not a great quality to most women I'm sure. At some point a little conversation without inebriation might be a good thing. Lol
Raj was the worst character,it took six seasons for him to talk to a woman without drinking. They flirted the line with homosexuality the whole series. I think they wanted to make him gay but it would look weird that the only minority character was gay. He should have married Anu and moved to London, that way his arch would have been closed.
It saddens me that so many men reject feminism as something attacking their masculinity, but it's not just helping women get respect, it's trying to help guys live a healthier life with emotional support and friendly touches vital to mental health that so many guys deny themselves because it's too "gay"
As a guy I say stop trying to change me. If I want to talk I will, if I want to open up to a woman I will. Femininity is not an attack on our masculinity until femininity suggests we need to stop being masculine or need to be MORE feminine. Men hate trying to be CHANGED by women. Our wardrobe, our friends, our homes, etc. A woman will instantly try to mold a man into her ideal image, will start decorating a man's apartment, will make a man put all his cherished possessions in the garage, attic, or elsewhere. In order for women to get respect they need to earn it and give it. Men have come a long way since women entered the workplace. The workplace used to be men only and a fun place for men to work and socialize and now there are all kinds of rules for men to follow to make women comfortable. Can't talk about certain things, can't interact in certain ways, gotta be very careful you don't give a woman the wrong impression or else you might be called to HR. If a woman lodges a complaint it must be true. I once had a woman who got pregnant with her BFs baby, he dumped her, and she concocted a plan (that she shared with her work friends) of sleeping with me and telling me the baby was mine. Luckily her friends told me beforehand. So when she approached me I played along, allowed her to pleasure me and got up and walked out. She was so outraged she went into work and told them I exposed myself to her. HR was ready to fire me even though I was the 2nd employee she accused of doing this. And her friends backed up my story. Nevermind she attempted to saddle me with a kid that wasn't mine. Did that factor in? She was discussing this plan at work on the clock. Any discipline? No. Instead I was given a final warning and moved to another shift. Why? I didn't do anything wrong. While some men can be disgusting there are women who are down right diabolical. Sociopathic even. Who use their status as women to destroy men who spurn them. Also, women should respect themselves before demanding respect from us. Look at all the tik tok, Instagram, OF, and other forms of look at me content for money. The age of prostitution is alive and well. I was on the beach the other day watching as girl after girl was doing photo shoots on the beach for content and then leaving. How many guys did I see doing this: ZERO. The Kardashian affect. And now after 40+ years in the workforce a growing number of women want to leave because it's hard. And we are talking about indoor air conditioned labor. Not outdoor break your back labor. Furthermore, I work in Nursing. A female dominated environment. I see some of the most catty, hostile, disrespectful, back stabbing, targeting behavior I've ever seen in my life in this field ran by mostly women. And I was in the military, construction, sales, etc. When I worked with all men we laughed, joked, listened to music, talked about sports/politics/women/entertainment, etc. Now I listen to women talk about each other, management, patients, family, visitors, sex, genitalia, etc. And they sometimes forget I'm there so they talk as dirty and low down as any guy. But the work environment when it was just guys was fun, productive, and comfortable. Now...egg shells. Women are often their worst enemy and when they get done hating each other they want to blame all their problems on men. And they've been taught by new age feminism it is all the man's fault, and every one of them are queens or princesses or deserve the WORLD. They have a give me attitude with a what do you want attitude in return. They want the world handed to them and expect men to step aside for them at the same time. It is a wicked double standard of entitlement. Women can do anything a man can do...true. but not always as good. A man is biologically stronger, faster, most often taller, and can endure more pain. Men are willing to do all the dirt stuff women can't. Ans while women can fight in wars, they are not as effective at it. When you hear a bump in the night it is the man who investigates and the woman who stays behind. 😂 I don't have a problem with that either. I'd never let my wife or daughters put themselves in harms way before my son and I. That isn't misogyny as much as it is a willingness as a man to sacrifice myself for the women in my life. Women start fights in bars and expect their man to defend them. Women hate a jealous man and resent a man who doesn't get jealous as not caring enough. If a man makes a lot of money he will often marry a woman who makes little but a woman who makes a lot tends to look for a spouse that makes the same or more as they are not willing to support a man or give half their assets to a poor man upon divorce. There is a huge movement for equality but women don't want equality. They want everything a man has without giving equally to a man. They want equality when it suits them but reject equality of outcome when it benefits the man or hurts their bottom line. My phone shattered after over 6 yrs of use. I got a new phone. I hate that I had to. My wife went out and bought a new iPhone. NOT because she had to but because I got a new phone. It was an unexcessary expense but one she impulsively felt she needed to make. She is a wonderful person but this is an example that a man can not have something a woman doesn't or else it isn't EQUAL. IT ISNT FAIR. Like it is a game or something. If a woman with nothing married a man with everything she will expect 1/2 if they divorce but look at divorce cases the other way. A woman rejects equality if she ends up having to pay a man. This is the primary reason women choose men who are equal or make more than they do. The notion of equality and respect for women is retarded. I respect women who respect themselves and respect me. Aside from that if you give me a reason not to respect you I won't. I have zero respect for all the Kardashians and all the women on OF. sorry. I earn my money the hard way. The honorable and respectful way.
@@johnathanwilliams1503 hey pal, I’m not reading all that. I care about men’s feelings and think they should be able to be open and vulnerable with their peers but if you’re gonna type all that out to an internet stranger, it would better server you to discuss this stuff with a therapist and not me. Have a day
It doesn't help that some feminists especially terf types do attack masculinity and can be straight up misandrist. Just goes to show how important it is to call out that sort of thing internally.
As a gay man of colour, I would like to say that notions of masculinity are also present in the gay community. While, in heterosexual hypermasculine settings emotions and anything feminine can be a sign of weakness, the same happens in gay communities. It is caused, I believe, by some absurd need or desire by the gay community to mirror the heterosexual world. Gay men who are more masculine and mascular, those who easily pass as straight, are more desired than those who are effeminate. This from both feminine and masculine gay and bisexual men. Also, if you are highly feminine then you basically have the status of a woman in a heterosexual and misogynist world in the gay community. I was having a discussion with some friends of mine about how oppressive the gay community is. How, in the gay community, the worst thing you could possibly be is feminine, black, thick (or fat) and poor. For an oppressed group, the gay community can sometimes be surprisingly racist, (can’t think of a word to describe someone who has issues with people’s body size), classist and also embody notions of toxic masculinity. It seems that in general society, whether heterosexual or otherwise, feminity is negatively stereotyped and masculinity is always desirable. Sadly
That's really interesting to think about! You'd believe in groups that are more oppressed they'd be more open-minded, but that's not the case. I can't speak for the gay community, but with feminism, I've found and heard that sometimes it's not very inclusive to disabled women, WOC, and trans women. I really appreciate this comment, and it opens my eyes to certain issues going on in smaller communities ^^
Amy- nerd, Bernadette- hot nerd, Lucy- Raj's social anxiety girlfriend and nerd, that girl who played Darlene on Roseanne- nerd, Professor Plimpton I think she was called; Sheldon invited her to stay with them and she slept with Leonard, Raj, and Howard. And there were others. There are plenty of nerdy girls on this show. Just so happens that most of them are hot. And?
I find it hilarious that Raj got made fun of for wanting to drink "girly" drinks and then Penny later called the guys "girls" for not wanting a beer, when those "girly" drinks probably have 40% alcohol content and will get you shit faced a hundred times faster than beer lmao
shoutout to all the boys out there who: - sometimes hide when they're sad or hurt - wish they had someone to talk about their feelings - want to cry sometimes - or just enjoy sandra bullock movies or putting on makeup the way you feel is completely okay and doesn't make you any less of a man and i really love you.
We're almost there, shout out to boys that have to hide their feelings because of masculinity, all boys cry dont be ashamed of it, and dont be scared of begin femenine, there's nothing wrong with that, be yourself, your honest self you are masculine enough even if you are super femenine
I love how this is feminist pop culture analysis and it's presented by a male writer/voiceover and he doesn't explicitly say feminist, so that makes it totally fine for everyone for some reason. If feministfrequency made this exact same analysis there would be a million response vids strawmanning it. Think about what that says about youtube culture.
What's strange to me about this show is that I've never met a self-described geek who thinks its a good show. It really is just your typical sit-com simply dressed up in nerd cosplay.
REALLY enjoyed this video. So many men need to see this. Feminism isn't just about letting women escape from the stereotypes of their sex, it is also an invitation to men to just be who they are without ridicule or questioning their identity.
I really hate how a lot of men feel pressured to bottle their feelings. I'd say 80% of my relationship issues I've ever had stem from this, and the miscommunication resulting from it. Even my now husband was unwilling to communicate his feelings to me, and instead took to picking off his fingernails and not sleeping to deal with the anxiety stemming from this. It took almost a year of gentle pressure to get him to finally open up. IT IS HUMAN TO HAVE FEELINGS. And we have to share them, men and women. There's nothing unmanly about taking care of yourself and working through your emotions with other people.
Ummm...you ever think you are the problem? I have no problem opening up to my wife but I don't share everything every time. A little mystery is a good thing. If your husband is mutilating himself and having anxiety it may not be because he doesn't share with you. You may be the form of his anxiety or you just have a problem picking stable men. I went to therapy twice in my life. The 2nd time the therapist pointed out to my wife she was the problem with unrealistic expectations. At first she was pissed. Then she began to reflect and realized I and the therapist was right. Now she is the one seeking help and talking about her feelings and we have had a healthy relationship. You blame your problems on your ex and current husband's inability to open up. Maybe, just maybe you are just a ball buster and therefore the problem. There. I just saved you a few thousand dollars. And...stay away from the AA meetings...it's not the ideal place to pick up men.
It's sad they pick on Raj the way they do. Out of the four, I think he would make the best partner. He's sensitive and thoughtful. He's my favorite character.
One of the most horrible examples I think was the episode in which they mock Howard for Bernadette making more money than him. It was so ridiculous! It made me wonder "Are men today actually threatened if their girlfriend/wife makes more money than them?". And the shows treatment of poor Raj (and Stuart) was what made me start hating it. At first, Raj was depicted as at least somewhat desirable, like Sheldon's sister Missy obviously preferred him over the others and he got together with that one girl at Penny's party. In the beginning, I think they also had some heart-felt moments between Leonard and Sheldon, where they comfort each other and it's not played for laughs. This stops to happen at some point and the group becomes a bunch of douchy assholes that beg the question why you would wanna continue to hang out with them, especially if you are Raj or Stuart.
Or could it be the show was better BEFORE the relationships became the main focus? And towards the end it was all about wrapping up the relationships. I actually thought the way the women treated the men in the show was far worse than the way they treated each other because as guys we do that to show affection. That is what women never understand. We don't hug and cry with one another. We laugh, joke, punch, wrestle, insult, etc. It's our form of bonding. And notice you never mentioned how often Bernadette rubbed it in his face. Putting him on an allowance, always telling him no when he wanted to spend money, etc. She was as emasculated to Howard as Howard was to Raj. That juxtaposition is always lost on people. We all bag on people in our loves and tend to get bagged on by others. When it comes from people you care for you let it go because you know it's harmless ribbing. And there were times when the characters discuss when it goes too far and make amends. Just like life.
11:55 You wont sit with a guy drinking a grasshopper with a little umbrella, but you expect him to sit with you while you wear that horribly ugly, unflattering shirt?
During my limited time watching the show, the one I felt the most sorry for was Rajesh because of the way the others constantly belittle him for his interests. He is by no means perfect, and does show some toxic behaviours himself, but I can't help but sympathise with a guy being tormented for being too feminine by is supposed best friend.
Agreed. It's also telling that the most effeminate guy on the group is also the source for some of the most obscenely toxic behaviors, most of that trophy goes to Howard, but Raj is a damn close second.
As an Indian Women, trust me on this one, Rajesh is not feminine. That is just how Indian Gentlemen are, they talk with a low voice and with care. He is just playing a considerate Indian Man. There is no concept of masculinity or femininity in his character.
fun side note- they often refer to the "alpha male" as though it were a fact of life intelligent people observe when that. is a largely false representation of animal behavior.
There is so much depth in your reviews, and you keep it interesting the entire time. You are a master of exposing the undesirable aspects in pop culture to the average person.
And as someone in the spectrum, that shit is incredibly heartbreaking to me. Ive had my best friend compare me to Sheldon, and I wasn't even diagnosed yet and he thought it was funny...
Thank you, so much for this I have have always said that if you scratch the surface of a homophobe there always a misogynist underneath; this perfectly illustrates why.
Elizabeth Salmon I really wonder if homophobia would even be likely, or possible, if sexism didn't exist. Both exist because of the stringent rules society sets out for what it is acceptable for men and women to do.
2:48 The thing about Leonard not knowing anything about sports is that I actually laughed at those clips. Not because "Oh, he is failing at being a man", but because I relate to being very much clueless while watching sports as well. It would be fine if he learned that there isn't anything wrong with not knowing sports, but that doesn't seem to be the case on the show.
My family is *very* into sports. Especially my aunt. 'Go sports!' was quite funny to me too because of that, but the fact that it's then used to humiliate ruins it :/
"Here is an unfortunate tendency in our culture to try to pin the blame for men's emascalation on women. But most of the time the perpetrators are men who are participating in this competition for dominance." (17.51) THANK YOU.
I'm always glad and happy to see you release one of these, and as a gay person myself, find it deeply sad that so many discriminating behaviours, like homophobia, sexism and lack of empathy towards ones' peers can be traced to this competitive toxic masculinity.
I love this video. I've always had a problem with how Sheldon talks about women and how Raj, the only brown dude on the show, is laughed at for embracing the shit he likes. Do people really have friends like this? I also want to make a note about Penny and her attitude to Leonard in their relationship; she's always making fun of Leonard's passions, career and physical limitations so why are they together? The show created seasons of trials for the two to overcome but by the time they finally end up together (for good), it doesn't feel right because 1) we've seen that Penny has no interest or respect for nerd/geek culture - a core part of Leonards personality - and 2) Leonard is driven by some sort of romanticism where it's FATE that will see him married to the beautiful girl across the hall. So Penny settles for a man who's always chased her and Leonard settles for a trophy he gets to flaunt to his friends. Oh and I'm still wondering how Howard actually managed to get married considering he's a terrible partner and his wife is out of his league.
By the way the estrogen in soy thing is BS. its called phytoestrogen. Its a different compound but has the same structure. The compound itself has little effect on humans and is more of a chemical used by plants for reproduction and growth but its only similarities to humans, like i said, is its structure.
The fact that we have an early version of Sheldon calling someone a Soy Boy really just solidifies the connection between creepy gamergate dudes and BBT guys for me
I'd be interested for you to analyse Friends, I used to really love it as a teenager before I started to see that the show keeps pushing rachel back to ross despite his controlling and creepy behaviour - and never expects him to change. The jokes where the punchline is 'haha isnt joey stupid' also bother me.
Gods, it feels disturbing to think i was ever even amused by this show. It took me way to long to see the cruel heart at its core. Thankfully there are so much better geeky sitcoms out there now.
I totally agree! I hadn't seen that scene of Penny and Amy being told to strip before but I am appalled! This show is so insulting to both women and real men, all for cheap (fake) laughs
That line... "Y'know, for guys who say that they're always being bullied, you can be a bunch of jerks." ...and was met by silence from the crowd. How nice it would have been had that line been met by applause. It just might have led to the cancellation of the show. The problem with The Big Bang Theory appears to me that this is a show about the geeks and nerds written not by geeks and nerds, but by the high school bullies who were stuffing geeks and nerds into lockers. I have to be honest, I've never watched the show, even though it is being broadcast in the UK but it is always as mean-spirited as the clips in this video?
I feel for Raj man. Like him I'm the most feminine in my group of friends and the only one who has no girlfriend. After a while it starts to hurt and you build up some resentment towards your friends for putting their happiness in your face and women for not wanting you at all. It took me awhile to get out of that mindset but it still hurts sometimes
Oh just stop! 😂😂 steven hawking was a guest on the show and he was made fun of all the time. You didn't hear him getting offended. the joke was the difference in societal norms from India to America and how Raj made a lot of pheupas as he was an immigrant and still learning the cultural norms of LA. A lot of people from different cultures were referenced throughout the show and a lot of people of different cultures were guest stars on the show and you didn't hear them complaining. They also made tons of jokes about TX and religions too. Much like just about any comedian in history. So maybe you belong in a bubble on the moon away from any cultural norms that you find offensive.
@@ThrarmAnimation then just read your response and you will see a worse take. Absolutely no substance, no context, no opinion/rebuttal; just...nothing. it wasn't even worth your time to write it. It didn't provide any alternate thoughts for me to consider; you didn't even try to change my mind with anything thought provoking. It was no different than saying, "I disagree with you." OH really? What part? In what way? Would you care to elaborate? I'm all for giving you your say but you said NOTHING. but since you've had 12 yrs experience on the internet and haven't seen anything worse let me direct you to ANY video of Joe Biden attempting to speak English within the past 4 yrs. Or i can directly quote him; "words...meaning....ice cream....uhhhhhhhhhhh...democracy.....(pause: blank stare).....errrrrrr Putin. God bleerrr Amurrrricaa."
As an Asian male who resents the culture and mindset that worship hegemonic masculinity and condone misogynistic behaviors, I find your analysis interesting because I do have somewhat different reactions to the show. I don't think the writers intend to ridicule the characters for "not being manly enough". Instead, the jokes rely on the incongruity and discomfort of them trying to imitate the norms of a masculine culture and overcompensate for their supposed "lack of manhood". When these characters are just engaged in their non-masculine activities (either video games or lab research), they don't get taunted in the same way. For me, the writers attempt to use these characters to parody masculinity instead of glorifying it. After all, this show does put non-masculine "nerds" front and center for the audience to identify with. Also, the tone of the show does shift after the women characters are introduced and depicted as equally successful professionals in their fields. On the other hand, I do agree that the portrayal of the Indian character Raj is very reductive and fits into the effeminate stereotype of Asian men, and the insults among the male characters as well as the occasional misogynistic comments by Sheldon, though often get chided or "checked" by other characters, do walk a thin line between irony and normalizing misogyny.
For some reason I'm feeling resistance to the idea of Captain America as an example of hegemonic masculinity. Steve Rogers doesn't fit in the same category as James Bond and Conan the Barbarian because deep down he's still the small guy who isn't capable of performing masculinity the same way Bucky does. His physical hegemonic masculinity doesn't match his interior masculinity. He's a lot less problematic in personality. I think Tony Stark would have been a much better example of hegemonic masculinity.
Honestly, I think Tony Stark would be a better example of how hegemonic masculinity can influence a person. James Bond and Conan's masculinity is really who they are as a person, while Tony is just trying to imitate that because of what he was taught. His father telling him not to cry and being neglectful, saying that they "are made of iron", society's expectations, etc. kinda forced Tony into creating a persona that resembles hegemonic masculinity. But if you see past that persona you find a person who has a kind heart but is plagued with insecurities, toxic environments, and unfair expectations.
I have to disagree, I'm a huge fan of the star spangled Cap, but I think he was put in that list not because of his character or ark, but because of the kind of role model he imposes on the viewers, something like : "you aren't good enough to fulfill your dreams, but if you get buff and become an alpha male you'll have everything you dream of, and will be appreciated and loved by those around you". Little kids look up to him and instead of dreaming to be the sensitive kind hearted man Steve is inside, they dream to get some sort of magical serum that turns them into big muscular powerful men because that is the only way to get anywhere in life. Of course this is just my opinion
Is hegemonic masculinity objectively a bad thing? I'm actually curious what the definition is. Captain America is (to me at least) the ideal man. He's brave, caring, empathetic, protective, and strong. He's the ideal I strive towards. I think that could fit in with hegemonic masculinity.
Right, little kids are actually very open-minded before they learn toxic behaviours from the adults in their lives and society and pass it on to each other. The earlier you start learning about this, the better.
I'd be really interested in seeing what you think of Community and Troy and Abed's friendship, I think that not only does it do a lot right when depicting a close and caring friendship between men, but it's also maybe the only empathetic depiction of an autistic man and his relationships with others that I've seen in a sitcom (or maybe in anything), completely unlike Sheldon who in my opinion is an extremely vitriolic representation of the condition. It's all the more significant since both Troy and Abed are geeky men of colour, and even though the show does encourage you to find it funny when they do nerdy things together it never feels malicious and more so endearing. It's not perfect by any means, but it's definitely one of the better male friendships I've seen on TV.
Excellent analysis and I totally agree with everything, but just saying, if it was a woman doing this video it would be filled with "Fucking SJW" or "Tumblr feminists strike again" which also shows the deeply down rooted misogyny in todays real society.
Being a man means a lot of things - not just the "masculine" bullshit. My dad for instance - sews, cooks, gardens, tended after animals and raised 3 girls single handed while my mom was abroad working . But he was also a mechanic and is adept at intimidating any man who looks at him. My western boyfriend was raised in a hypermasculine toxic environment and yet cowers when my tiny asian dad is around. It's actually pretty hilarious.
It took me a while to figure out there was something about the Big Bang Theory that I didn't like, and stop watching. I didn't really know why until I saw your videos, and this one helps to articulate it perfectly. Thanks so much for making these!
Thank you for explicitly pointing out the intersections between homophobia, sexism, and racism. I've seen so many men dismiss it or ridicule it like it's not the aspect of social masculinity that puts them at the most risk.
To be honest, I always interpreted the jokes on the show not as "look, these male characters suck at typical man behaviors and that's funny" but as "masculinity is so fragile and that's funny". It is not the fact that Howard wears an apron, it is how he looks unconfortable when he has no reason to be what made me laugh. Same with Leonard opening the jar, Sheldon says: "open this to show how strong you are" and Leonard agrees and he looks so desesperate when he can't do it. I always thought the show poked fun at how absurd those "prove you are a man" conducts are. But I do agree with you about something: male friendship needs a better representation in media
Nerdy men who aspire to a masculine standard and police each other are the saddest type of men. My friends and I in high school fit this mould. We were horrible with women, never had a proper relationship, but we relentlessly made fun of each other for masculine failures. It was untenable. With the passage of time and separating into university, we have learned our lesson to some extent. The problem is it doesn't work! It doesn't get you closer to women, and it doesn't help you compete with men. It just makes you unhappy and stressed out. The friend of mine who has been most successful used to dress up as a woman at parties for laughs and was called gay by us. I think he got all his masculine angst out of his system, realised that it's all bullshit, and people can sense that now. Masculine ideals aren't negative in themselves, but accepted uncritically (strength without restraint, resilience without vulnerability, lust without respect, for example) they are (yep) toxic. I haven't watched BBT, but in reality these characters should grow through realising these lessons, not through more fully internalising masculine ideals.
I always thought that Raj is so comfortable with himself compared to the others, because he wasn't raised in the USA among all that agressive stereotyping and hypermasculinity.
I've never watched the show (thanks God) but I find it so sad that the only guy who I would maybe realistically find attractive is Raj, who's consistently portrayed as the most undesirable of this thoroughly "eeewww" bunch. It's kind of heartbreaking really that so many men and boys are conditioned to believe that these softer masculine qualities are unattractive to women, and encouraged to behave in a more stereotypically masculine (read: misogynistic) way, when in fact their true qualities can be highly attractive and valued. Up until not so many decades ago, men used to be much less afraid of their feminine side, and I hope the day comes they will find courage to embrace it again. despite the messed-up societal pressure. I admit I find macho men super boring, it's the balanced, sincere, empathetic guys who interest me - and it's not just a matter of romantic interest, I just find it so much easier to form any kind of genuine connection with them. I really wish the day comes again when gentleness is considered strength.
In the real world, the constant belittling and one-upsmanship would destroy their relationships. As you point out, toxic masculinity often makes it extremely hard to have close personal relationships with other men.
There was that joke about soy boy / feminine boy that Sheldon said, but the weird thing about this is that it is not true. The hormones in soy simply dont work like that. And I would think Sheldon would know it. But jokes aside, this was a really good video (and also the previous one about TBBT) and I appreciate all of your invested time and energy. And also simply the fact that someone care about the issue. Thank you. Even though I see I am quite late :D.
Look, boys, if you like the same stuff my little sister likes, that's not a bad thing. That just makes you a better conversation partner. Don't be ashamed of liking or doing traditionally feminine stuff.
you're one of my favorite youtube channels! i love the way you describe terminologies and other theories in ways that are digestable and applicable and generally understandable. you don't feel intellectually alienating at all, in my opinion, and that's refreshing.
I'm genuinely surprised that this show is allowed to be aired considering the harmful and cynical attitude it has towards both men and women. It's also not a show that is about nerds so much as it's one that is making fun of them. The lack of actual thought and care is shown in the writing, like how the characters often make incorrect references (when Sheldon misquotes the Green Lantern quote and refers to Super Mario 64 being saved on a memory card when the game is actually on a cartridge). But even worse is, as you said, the way it portrays masculinity. If you want to watch a show that actually understands nerd culture without being patronising, watch The IT Crowd or Spaced or Community.
I guess that's because it fits the picture they want to paint of our society just perfectly. To be honest, I always felt there was something off about this show and I hated their nerd jokes and I found Penny to be the most stupid female I had ever seen on any show. But only after these videos I can finally see why. This show is toxic as hell but the truth is, so is our society. None of them have also every been at a real Comic Convention. The boys could have found themselves the most awesome girls who are just as nerdy as them. But yeah... where would have been the "fun" in that.
There are so many issues with Raj's portrayal in the show.The horrible misogyny and toxic hypermasculinity of the show often gets hidden under layers after layers of weird jokes and humor beats. Thank you for bringing attention to it! Love your video essays.
Anyone remembers that trend on tiktok where women were showing why they are not worried about their bfs cheating? Almost every single one of those women showed their bfs enjoying geeky activities. A true shame and that was all by women. So all the young men and growing boys will remember that as they continue to develop.
As much as I love That's 70 show, it has the same problem I have with TBBT: Why are these people even friends? They only ever seem to be vindictive and competitive towards each other.
I stopped watching Big Bang because I didn't like how mean they were to each other...but I never realized how outright shitty they were to each other and the audience.
Can you please do a video on representations of positive masculinity? Personally I think part of they problem with a lot of these terms such as “toxic masculinity” is that without an opposing idea of positive masculinity, how are guys supposed to act? I don’t think that men have to act feminine in order to be positively masculine.
Great vid! I will say, another thing the writers do repeatedly that's lost its charm (if it indeed ever had any) is Howard taking the p**s out of Raj by impersonating/mocking his accent. It's just cringe. Like most folks on here I don't watch the show much anymore!
I spent so much time thinking sjw was an insult your comment startled me a little. Is sad how things have come to this point. I hope we can grow out of this toxic society that condemns those who try to make it better
"Why are nerds who are bullied about not being manly enough turn around and replicate that behavior in their own communities?"
That is the greatest mystery of "gamer" culture, my friend.
I'm a gamer myself and I agree that "gamers" will gladly pull that shit.
You saw my lengthy comment on this video, right?
6 years late and just a theory, but maybe it’s because most games are, in some way, about violence. They’re highly fictionalized scenarios where men who can’t establish dominance in a traditional masculine way find a way to establish it in an extremely masculine setting: one that is often set in a military battlefield, one that is set in a historical, patriarchal settings, or often both, where they gain success by fighting and killing enemies, using hyper masculine avatars.
Nerdy interests are still masculine, just not modern and mainstream
Because they want to be manly, to be the guy who pulls all the chicks, if anything the ones that are bullied often grow resentment and want to replicate that hate against someone weaker so they feel in power, like whoever bullied them
catholic priests are like this too
Why do poor and middle/lower middle class people vote against their own interests in elections?
So basically, Raj is the only one secure in his masculinity out of the whole show.
And is portrayed as the least romantically successful out of all the characters in the show
The idea of using femininity as an insult is just so disheartening to me. I am whole, fully rounded person with depth and intelligence and the notion that a man being like me somehow lessens his value has its effects. And the idea that Penny being physically stronger or showing more stereotypically 'manly' traits is somehow the basis for a joke is also just as damaging.
theyre using feminity in men as an insult. no one is making fun of girls doing girly things, stupid. its group behaviour that keeps men in check
@@Brandovichiewhy do you think being "not like other girls" and was so popular?
The canned laughter is starting to make me feel sick...
the show was filmed in front of a live audience but i feel like that makes this worse
it was filmed in front of a live audience... something incredibly common in 2007 sitcoms lmfao
That batch of laughter must've been contaminated with salmonella. Bit of a recurring problem in the 2010's.
Thank you for revealing that nerds and so called “ nice guys “ can be sexist too. They can treat women like objects and nothing more than a “ status “ too. I’m also glad you mentioned how Hollywood loves to mock Asian men for their sexuality.
You realize the show isn't written by nerds or nice guys, right? Nerds actually despise the show and have for years. There are countless blogs about that ever since the 2nd season of the show turned into: "I'm a nerd, that makes everything I do hilarious."
Andrés Gómez I’m a nerd and I have dated nerds before . I’m into books and video games . I have been in those spaces and nerds can be sexist and misogynist. They can also BE racist too . I am a black woman and I dealt with racism and sexism in those communities . Just because YOU aren’t doesn’t mean every nerd isn’t . I used the Big Bang Theory as ONE example .
@@AndresGomez-ct7qb the writers are nerds - wtf are you talking about - grow up
@@rigpa10 Wow, a reply on a 7 year old comment.
Also, the writers ain't nerds. Like, at all. Google them if you want.
@@queenlele6193 6 years later. Our comments don't contradict each other at all.
Ooomph. Didnt even realize the "haha funny virgin asian" trope in Raj until you pointed it out, but it makes so much sense
raj has sex in the show many times - raj is not a virgin
It always worried me about how they addressed depression and suicide. Every scene with Stuart in it made me really sad. The group's casual dismissal of his suicidal comments.
This guy ruins show after show and movie after movie for me... and all in all I have to thank him for that. Sometimes it hurts to open your eyes.
You're welcome ;)
He’s basically the SJW version of Matpat
@@PopCultureDetective I have to agree with this statement above, there shows and films that show that being a nerd isn’t something to be ashamed of maybe you should show those things there has to be positive nerd representation, and culture somewhere.
@@JarodFarrant you're missing the point, he doesn't tell you not to enjoy these shows, you still very much can, he's pointing out inherent issues burnt into these shows. there's a good chance the directors of these shows don't even know they're playing into them.
@@JarodFarrant In part 1 of this video essay he does give examples of good nerd representation in popular media, including characters like Abed in Community and that one guy from Parks and Rec I unfortunately cant remember the name of.
As a scientist I never liked the way they depicted scientists in general. So I can understand that geeks also got offended. Everything is very far fetched.
And that's why it is funny right!?😂 lime revenge of the nerds. Even as a 8 year old I understood it was a severe exaggeration of what "nerds" are like. But they use science and knowledge to overcome and win the day. Great story. Fun, imaginative, and this show is no different. My wife and I laugh our butts off and at the end of the day that is all that matters. We certainly don't take it literal like so many of these people and the narrator.
Honestly I could never get over how they kept raj single. The actor is the most physically attractive guy, and personality of his character was so sweet, funny and genuine. I think any woman would want him over the rest....
While I agree with your point on keeping him single I disagree he was the most attractive option. His tendencies to lean towards homosexuality would be very off-putting to most women who want a straight man for a partner. Honestly they took it too far with his character and kinda ruined his character. They had plenty of options to give him a steady partner but the budget of adding another full time regular and matching their salary to the others was the problem I'm sure. It always ends up causing great shows to grt cancelled. You bring in too many new characters and the budget gets too big.
@@johnathanwilliams1503 I mean okay,, but over Howard????
@@aliceinwonderland1957 🤣🤣🤣 I would say the least insufferable would be Leonard but I'm a guy so...I'm far from an expert on what a woman would choose. I just think when push comes to shove most women would look at Raj and think he is sweet but put him right in the friend zone because there are SO many red flags. And for 6 seasons he couldn't even talk to a woman without getting drunk. Not a great quality to most women I'm sure. At some point a little conversation without inebriation might be a good thing. Lol
Raj was the worst character,it took six seasons for him to talk to a woman without drinking. They flirted the line with homosexuality the whole series. I think they wanted to make him gay but it would look weird that the only minority character was gay. He should have married Anu and moved to London, that way his arch would have been closed.
It makes sense if you have experience with Indian men
It saddens me that so many men reject feminism as something attacking their masculinity, but it's not just helping women get respect, it's trying to help guys live a healthier life with emotional support and friendly touches vital to mental health that so many guys deny themselves because it's too "gay"
As a guy I say stop trying to change me. If I want to talk I will, if I want to open up to a woman I will. Femininity is not an attack on our masculinity until femininity suggests we need to stop being masculine or need to be MORE feminine. Men hate trying to be CHANGED by women. Our wardrobe, our friends, our homes, etc. A woman will instantly try to mold a man into her ideal image, will start decorating a man's apartment, will make a man put all his cherished possessions in the garage, attic, or elsewhere. In order for women to get respect they need to earn it and give it. Men have come a long way since women entered the workplace. The workplace used to be men only and a fun place for men to work and socialize and now there are all kinds of rules for men to follow to make women comfortable. Can't talk about certain things, can't interact in certain ways, gotta be very careful you don't give a woman the wrong impression or else you might be called to HR. If a woman lodges a complaint it must be true. I once had a woman who got pregnant with her BFs baby, he dumped her, and she concocted a plan (that she shared with her work friends) of sleeping with me and telling me the baby was mine. Luckily her friends told me beforehand. So when she approached me I played along, allowed her to pleasure me and got up and walked out. She was so outraged she went into work and told them I exposed myself to her. HR was ready to fire me even though I was the 2nd employee she accused of doing this. And her friends backed up my story. Nevermind she attempted to saddle me with a kid that wasn't mine. Did that factor in? She was discussing this plan at work on the clock. Any discipline? No. Instead I was given a final warning and moved to another shift. Why? I didn't do anything wrong. While some men can be disgusting there are women who are down right diabolical. Sociopathic even. Who use their status as women to destroy men who spurn them. Also, women should respect themselves before demanding respect from us. Look at all the tik tok, Instagram, OF, and other forms of look at me content for money. The age of prostitution is alive and well. I was on the beach the other day watching as girl after girl was doing photo shoots on the beach for content and then leaving. How many guys did I see doing this: ZERO. The Kardashian affect. And now after 40+ years in the workforce a growing number of women want to leave because it's hard. And we are talking about indoor air conditioned labor. Not outdoor break your back labor. Furthermore, I work in Nursing. A female dominated environment. I see some of the most catty, hostile, disrespectful, back stabbing, targeting behavior I've ever seen in my life in this field ran by mostly women. And I was in the military, construction, sales, etc. When I worked with all men we laughed, joked, listened to music, talked about sports/politics/women/entertainment, etc. Now I listen to women talk about each other, management, patients, family, visitors, sex, genitalia, etc. And they sometimes forget I'm there so they talk as dirty and low down as any guy. But the work environment when it was just guys was fun, productive, and comfortable. Now...egg shells. Women are often their worst enemy and when they get done hating each other they want to blame all their problems on men. And they've been taught by new age feminism it is all the man's fault, and every one of them are queens or princesses or deserve the WORLD. They have a give me attitude with a what do you want attitude in return. They want the world handed to them and expect men to step aside for them at the same time. It is a wicked double standard of entitlement. Women can do anything a man can do...true. but not always as good. A man is biologically stronger, faster, most often taller, and can endure more pain. Men are willing to do all the dirt stuff women can't. Ans while women can fight in wars, they are not as effective at it. When you hear a bump in the night it is the man who investigates and the woman who stays behind. 😂 I don't have a problem with that either. I'd never let my wife or daughters put themselves in harms way before my son and I. That isn't misogyny as much as it is a willingness as a man to sacrifice myself for the women in my life. Women start fights in bars and expect their man to defend them. Women hate a jealous man and resent a man who doesn't get jealous as not caring enough. If a man makes a lot of money he will often marry a woman who makes little but a woman who makes a lot tends to look for a spouse that makes the same or more as they are not willing to support a man or give half their assets to a poor man upon divorce. There is a huge movement for equality but women don't want equality. They want everything a man has without giving equally to a man. They want equality when it suits them but reject equality of outcome when it benefits the man or hurts their bottom line. My phone shattered after over 6 yrs of use. I got a new phone. I hate that I had to. My wife went out and bought a new iPhone. NOT because she had to but because I got a new phone. It was an unexcessary expense but one she impulsively felt she needed to make. She is a wonderful person but this is an example that a man can not have something a woman doesn't or else it isn't EQUAL. IT ISNT FAIR. Like it is a game or something. If a woman with nothing married a man with everything she will expect 1/2 if they divorce but look at divorce cases the other way. A woman rejects equality if she ends up having to pay a man. This is the primary reason women choose men who are equal or make more than they do. The notion of equality and respect for women is retarded. I respect women who respect themselves and respect me. Aside from that if you give me a reason not to respect you I won't. I have zero respect for all the Kardashians and all the women on OF. sorry. I earn my money the hard way. The honorable and respectful way.
@@johnathanwilliams1503 hey pal, I’m not reading all that. I care about men’s feelings and think they should be able to be open and vulnerable with their peers but if you’re gonna type all that out to an internet stranger, it would better server you to discuss this stuff with a therapist and not me. Have a day
It doesn't help that some feminists especially terf types do attack masculinity and can be straight up misandrist. Just goes to show how important it is to call out that sort of thing internally.
As a gay man of colour, I would like to say that notions of masculinity are also present in the gay community. While, in heterosexual hypermasculine settings emotions and anything feminine can be a sign of weakness, the same happens in gay communities.
It is caused, I believe, by some absurd need or desire by the gay community to mirror the heterosexual world. Gay men who are more masculine and mascular, those who easily pass as straight, are more desired than those who are effeminate. This from both feminine and masculine gay and bisexual men. Also, if you are highly feminine then you basically have the status of a woman in a heterosexual and misogynist world in the gay community.
I was having a discussion with some friends of mine about how oppressive the gay community is. How, in the gay community, the worst thing you could possibly be is feminine, black, thick (or fat) and poor. For an oppressed group, the gay community can sometimes be surprisingly racist, (can’t think of a word to describe someone who has issues with people’s body size), classist and also embody notions of toxic masculinity.
It seems that in general society, whether heterosexual or otherwise, feminity is negatively stereotyped and masculinity is always desirable. Sadly
Thank you
it happens with catholic priests too (many are closeted that's why)
That's really interesting to think about! You'd believe in groups that are more oppressed they'd be more open-minded, but that's not the case. I can't speak for the gay community, but with feminism, I've found and heard that sometimes it's not very inclusive to disabled women, WOC, and trans women. I really appreciate this comment, and it opens my eyes to certain issues going on in smaller communities ^^
I also hate the fact the show thinks that women can't be nerds.
What about that girl that dated Stewart tbf she wasn’t a main character
it literally had a character that was nerdier than sheldon
Also when this show was airing and even now the percentage of male to female nerds still has men higher.
@@twenty2093 yeah i dont understand this point... the character had a female super nerd lmfao
Amy- nerd, Bernadette- hot nerd, Lucy- Raj's social anxiety girlfriend and nerd, that girl who played Darlene on Roseanne- nerd, Professor Plimpton I think she was called; Sheldon invited her to stay with them and she slept with Leonard, Raj, and Howard. And there were others. There are plenty of nerdy girls on this show. Just so happens that most of them are hot. And?
I find it hilarious that Raj got made fun of for wanting to drink "girly" drinks and then Penny later called the guys "girls" for not wanting a beer, when those "girly" drinks probably have 40% alcohol content and will get you shit faced a hundred times faster than beer lmao
shoutout to all the boys out there who:
- sometimes hide when they're sad or hurt
- wish they had someone to talk about their feelings
- want to cry sometimes
- or just enjoy sandra bullock movies or putting on makeup
the way you feel is completely okay and doesn't make you any less of a man and i really love you.
-_-
Well said, I hope there are more people like you.
👏🙌👏
We're almost there, shout out to boys that have to hide their feelings because of masculinity, all boys cry dont be ashamed of it, and dont be scared of begin femenine, there's nothing wrong with that, be yourself, your honest self you are masculine enough even if you are super femenine
Thanks for this comment. I know this and am in fairly safe place in this regard, but it still feels good to see that written out. :)
I love how this is feminist pop culture analysis and it's presented by a male writer/voiceover and he doesn't explicitly say feminist, so that makes it totally fine for everyone for some reason.
If feministfrequency made this exact same analysis there would be a million response vids strawmanning it.
Think about what that says about youtube culture.
What's strange to me about this show is that I've never met a self-described geek who thinks its a good show. It really is just your typical sit-com simply dressed up in nerd cosplay.
REALLY enjoyed this video. So many men need to see this. Feminism isn't just about letting women escape from the stereotypes of their sex, it is also an invitation to men to just be who they are without ridicule or questioning their identity.
100% on point
Wait so enjoying The Princess Bride is unmanly? I don't envy manly men one bit if that's the case.
It’s a banger
I really hate how a lot of men feel pressured to bottle their feelings. I'd say 80% of my relationship issues I've ever had stem from this, and the miscommunication resulting from it. Even my now husband was unwilling to communicate his feelings to me, and instead took to picking off his fingernails and not sleeping to deal with the anxiety stemming from this. It took almost a year of gentle pressure to get him to finally open up. IT IS HUMAN TO HAVE FEELINGS. And we have to share them, men and women. There's nothing unmanly about taking care of yourself and working through your emotions with other people.
Ummm...you ever think you are the problem? I have no problem opening up to my wife but I don't share everything every time. A little mystery is a good thing. If your husband is mutilating himself and having anxiety it may not be because he doesn't share with you. You may be the form of his anxiety or you just have a problem picking stable men. I went to therapy twice in my life. The 2nd time the therapist pointed out to my wife she was the problem with unrealistic expectations. At first she was pissed. Then she began to reflect and realized I and the therapist was right. Now she is the one seeking help and talking about her feelings and we have had a healthy relationship. You blame your problems on your ex and current husband's inability to open up. Maybe, just maybe you are just a ball buster and therefore the problem. There. I just saved you a few thousand dollars. And...stay away from the AA meetings...it's not the ideal place to pick up men.
@@johnathanwilliams1503 dude what are you even on about?
It's sad they pick on Raj the way they do. Out of the four, I think he would make the best partner. He's sensitive and thoughtful. He's my favorite character.
The most likeable character is Raj. He is he most genuine to who he is and isn't afraid to be feminine and doesn't see something wrong with it.
One of the most horrible examples I think was the episode in which they mock Howard for Bernadette making more money than him. It was so ridiculous! It made me wonder "Are men today actually threatened if their girlfriend/wife makes more money than them?".
And the shows treatment of poor Raj (and Stuart) was what made me start hating it. At first, Raj was depicted as at least somewhat desirable, like Sheldon's sister Missy obviously preferred him over the others and he got together with that one girl at Penny's party.
In the beginning, I think they also had some heart-felt moments between Leonard and Sheldon, where they comfort each other and it's not played for laughs. This stops to happen at some point and the group becomes a bunch of douchy assholes that beg the question why you would wanna continue to hang out with them, especially if you are Raj or Stuart.
Or could it be the show was better BEFORE the relationships became the main focus? And towards the end it was all about wrapping up the relationships. I actually thought the way the women treated the men in the show was far worse than the way they treated each other because as guys we do that to show affection. That is what women never understand. We don't hug and cry with one another. We laugh, joke, punch, wrestle, insult, etc. It's our form of bonding. And notice you never mentioned how often Bernadette rubbed it in his face. Putting him on an allowance, always telling him no when he wanted to spend money, etc. She was as emasculated to Howard as Howard was to Raj. That juxtaposition is always lost on people. We all bag on people in our loves and tend to get bagged on by others. When it comes from people you care for you let it go because you know it's harmless ribbing. And there were times when the characters discuss when it goes too far and make amends. Just like life.
It not lying so ppl are threatened
I love how this channel keeps ripping Big Bang Theory a new one.
As it should :)
11:55 You wont sit with a guy drinking a grasshopper with a little umbrella, but you expect him to sit with you while you wear that horribly ugly, unflattering shirt?
I think the joke may partially have been that they didn't get that?
During my limited time watching the show, the one I felt the most sorry for was Rajesh because of the way the others constantly belittle him for his interests.
He is by no means perfect, and does show some toxic behaviours himself, but I can't help but sympathise with a guy being tormented for being too feminine by is supposed best friend.
Agreed.
It's also telling that the most effeminate guy on the group is also the source for some of the most obscenely toxic behaviors, most of that trophy goes to Howard, but Raj is a damn close second.
As an Indian Women, trust me on this one, Rajesh is not feminine. That is just how Indian Gentlemen are, they talk with a low voice and with care. He is just playing a considerate Indian Man. There is no concept of masculinity or femininity in his character.
fun side note- they often refer to the "alpha male" as though it were a fact of life intelligent people observe when that. is a largely false representation of animal behavior.
There is so much depth in your reviews, and you keep it interesting the entire time. You are a master of exposing the undesirable aspects in pop culture to the average person.
Thanks, I appreciate you saying that.
You're very welcome, I look forward to watching more from you!
Watching these clips of Sheldon makes me astonished that someone like that received a spinoff/prequel.
Carlos Matias as someone who has family members who love this show, and Sheldon, it's because they love to laugh at an autistic stereotype.
Twisty Sunshine So true and so depressing
And as someone in the spectrum, that shit is incredibly heartbreaking to me. Ive had my best friend compare me to Sheldon, and I wasn't even diagnosed yet and he thought it was funny...
That makes it even worse.
Which is funny as both the actor and the writers have said he isn't autistic.
Unfortunately the "geeky guys hating femininity" thing is a real thing. It is prevalent in geek culture especially gaming culture.
As I basically pointed out in my own comment.
I don't even know how bathroom detail could make a person any less of a man.
This^
Speak for yourself. I'm not going to be thrown under the bus for your brownie points
Thank you, so much for this I have have always said that if you scratch the surface of a homophobe there always a misogynist underneath; this perfectly illustrates why.
Elizabeth Salmon I once heard a gay guy describe misogyny as "hatred of the feminine", not just women. Misogyny was often the basis of homophobia.
Elizabeth Salmon I really wonder if homophobia would even be likely, or possible, if sexism didn't exist. Both exist because of the stringent rules society sets out for what it is acceptable for men and women to do.
2:48 The thing about Leonard not knowing anything about sports is that I actually laughed at those clips. Not because "Oh, he is failing at being a man", but because I relate to being very much clueless while watching sports as well. It would be fine if he learned that there isn't anything wrong with not knowing sports, but that doesn't seem to be the case on the show.
My family is *very* into sports. Especially my aunt. 'Go sports!' was quite funny to me too because of that, but the fact that it's then used to humiliate ruins it :/
"Here is an unfortunate tendency in our culture to try to pin the blame for men's emascalation on women. But most of the time the perpetrators are men who are participating in this competition for dominance." (17.51)
THANK YOU.
I'm always glad and happy to see you release one of these, and as a gay person myself, find it deeply sad that so many discriminating behaviours, like homophobia, sexism and lack of empathy towards ones' peers can be traced to this competitive toxic masculinity.
i completely agree
Man, big bang theory would actually be a really interesting show if it was aware of and tried to explore these issues
Watching this, I can't help but think of the old phrase, "With friends like this, who needs enemies?"
I love this video. I've always had a problem with how Sheldon talks about women and how Raj, the only brown dude on the show, is laughed at for embracing the shit he likes. Do people really have friends like this?
I also want to make a note about Penny and her attitude to Leonard in their relationship; she's always making fun of Leonard's passions, career and physical limitations so why are they together? The show created seasons of trials for the two to overcome but by the time they finally end up together (for good), it doesn't feel right because 1) we've seen that Penny has no interest or respect for nerd/geek culture - a core part of Leonards personality - and 2) Leonard is driven by some sort of romanticism where it's FATE that will see him married to the beautiful girl across the hall. So Penny settles for a man who's always chased her and Leonard settles for a trophy he gets to flaunt to his friends.
Oh and I'm still wondering how Howard actually managed to get married considering he's a terrible partner and his wife is out of his league.
13:02 He likes cute dogs. How... Atrocious??
That doggo was obviously good. It's the other guys loss.
By the way the estrogen in soy thing is BS. its called phytoestrogen. Its a different compound but has the same structure. The compound itself has little effect on humans and is more of a chemical used by plants for reproduction and growth but its only similarities to humans, like i said, is its structure.
How tf does this comment pop at the same time the clip dif 💀?
This channel is my kink.
Kat Blaque same
me too kat
I'm fan-girling here.
Mine to
Kat Blaque same
The fact that we have an early version of Sheldon calling someone a Soy Boy really just solidifies the connection between creepy gamergate dudes and BBT guys for me
I'd be interested for you to analyse Friends, I used to really love it as a teenager before I started to see that the show keeps pushing rachel back to ross despite his controlling and creepy behaviour - and never expects him to change. The jokes where the punchline is 'haha isnt joey stupid' also bother me.
This show likes to go for the lowest hanging fruit
Gods, it feels disturbing to think i was ever even amused by this show. It took me way to long to see the cruel heart at its core. Thankfully there are so much better geeky sitcoms out there now.
I used to be a fan of the show, then I got bored of it and didn't pay attention to it anymore... but with both of these videos now I kinda hate it
Same
Same here. I cringe everytime it's on TV now
I totally agree! I hadn't seen that scene of Penny and Amy being told to strip before but I am appalled! This show is so insulting to both women and real men, all for cheap (fake) laughs
this is the annihilation of the Big Bang theory
Let's hope so
That line...
"Y'know, for guys who say that they're always being bullied, you can be a bunch of jerks."
...and was met by silence from the crowd.
How nice it would have been had that line been met by applause. It just might have led to the cancellation of the show.
The problem with The Big Bang Theory appears to me that this is a show about the geeks and nerds written not by geeks and nerds, but by the high school bullies who were stuffing geeks and nerds into lockers.
I have to be honest, I've never watched the show, even though it is being broadcast in the UK but it is always as mean-spirited as the clips in this video?
I feel for Raj man. Like him I'm the most feminine in my group of friends and the only one who has no girlfriend. After a while it starts to hurt and you build up some resentment towards your friends for putting their happiness in your face and women for not wanting you at all. It took me awhile to get out of that mindset but it still hurts sometimes
Men really need to hear this, maybe feminism would stop being such a dirty word on the internet if they understood how toxic masculinity hurts them.
This show is horribly racist too.
Cats Cats The actor who plays Raj doesn't even have the accent IRL.
Is he actually an immigrant from India in the show?
Oh just stop! 😂😂 steven hawking was a guest on the show and he was made fun of all the time. You didn't hear him getting offended. the joke was the difference in societal norms from India to America and how Raj made a lot of pheupas as he was an immigrant and still learning the cultural norms of LA. A lot of people from different cultures were referenced throughout the show and a lot of people of different cultures were guest stars on the show and you didn't hear them complaining. They also made tons of jokes about TX and religions too. Much like just about any comedian in history. So maybe you belong in a bubble on the moon away from any cultural norms that you find offensive.
@@johnathanwilliams1503 i have never once, in my dozen years online, have i seen a worse take
@@ThrarmAnimation then just read your response and you will see a worse take. Absolutely no substance, no context, no opinion/rebuttal; just...nothing. it wasn't even worth your time to write it. It didn't provide any alternate thoughts for me to consider; you didn't even try to change my mind with anything thought provoking. It was no different than saying, "I disagree with you." OH really? What part? In what way? Would you care to elaborate? I'm all for giving you your say but you said NOTHING. but since you've had 12 yrs experience on the internet and haven't seen anything worse let me direct you to ANY video of Joe Biden attempting to speak English within the past 4 yrs. Or i can directly quote him; "words...meaning....ice cream....uhhhhhhhhhhh...democracy.....(pause: blank stare).....errrrrrr Putin. God bleerrr Amurrrricaa."
These Big Bang Theory videos are incredible. Thank you for making them
Being gay irl and playing the most misogynistic male characters ever in sitcom history:
Jim Parsons 🤝🏻 Neil Patrick Harris
And I'm sure they love the irony of that and it makes it even funnier.
As an Asian male who resents the culture and mindset that worship hegemonic masculinity and condone misogynistic behaviors, I find your analysis interesting because I do have somewhat different reactions to the show.
I don't think the writers intend to ridicule the characters for "not being manly enough". Instead, the jokes rely on the incongruity and discomfort of them trying to imitate the norms of a masculine culture and overcompensate for their supposed "lack of manhood". When these characters are just engaged in their non-masculine activities (either video games or lab research), they don't get taunted in the same way. For me, the writers attempt to use these characters to parody masculinity instead of glorifying it. After all, this show does put non-masculine "nerds" front and center for the audience to identify with. Also, the tone of the show does shift after the women characters are introduced and depicted as equally successful professionals in their fields.
On the other hand, I do agree that the portrayal of the Indian character Raj is very reductive and fits into the effeminate stereotype of Asian men, and the insults among the male characters as well as the occasional misogynistic comments by Sheldon, though often get chided or "checked" by other characters, do walk a thin line between irony and normalizing misogyny.
These are so lovely and thoughtful, but how many hours of Big Bang theory have you sat through to make these?
Mina F Too Many
Too many. I've seen 2 and that was too many.
I believe he said that he watched all of it twice in a comment on the last one. Hopefully he sped it up.
God bless his soul
Yeah I was thinking this as well-dunno if I could have stuck that particular brand of torture to make such eloquent points as these!
Raj deserves better friends.
For some reason I'm feeling resistance to the idea of Captain America as an example of hegemonic masculinity. Steve Rogers doesn't fit in the same category as James Bond and Conan the Barbarian because deep down he's still the small guy who isn't capable of performing masculinity the same way Bucky does. His physical hegemonic masculinity doesn't match his interior masculinity. He's a lot less problematic in personality. I think Tony Stark would have been a much better example of hegemonic masculinity.
Honestly, I think Tony Stark would be a better example of how hegemonic masculinity can influence a person. James Bond and Conan's masculinity is really who they are as a person, while Tony is just trying to imitate that because of what he was taught. His father telling him not to cry and being neglectful, saying that they "are made of iron", society's expectations, etc. kinda forced Tony into creating a persona that resembles hegemonic masculinity. But if you see past that persona you find a person who has a kind heart but is plagued with insecurities, toxic environments, and unfair expectations.
I have to disagree, I'm a huge fan of the star spangled Cap, but I think he was put in that list not because of his character or ark, but because of the kind of role model he imposes on the viewers, something like : "you aren't good enough to fulfill your dreams, but if you get buff and become an alpha male you'll have everything you dream of, and will be appreciated and loved by those around you". Little kids look up to him and instead of dreaming to be the sensitive kind hearted man Steve is inside, they dream to get some sort of magical serum that turns them into big muscular powerful men because that is the only way to get anywhere in life. Of course this is just my opinion
I mean his character is ultimately linked to him being a soldier, and specifically the WWII G.I. So I think that puts him in the vicinity.
Is hegemonic masculinity objectively a bad thing? I'm actually curious what the definition is. Captain America is (to me at least) the ideal man. He's brave, caring, empathetic, protective, and strong. He's the ideal I strive towards. I think that could fit in with hegemonic masculinity.
I feel so bad for you. Youve had to watch so much of this show in order to make these videos for us. You poor tortured soul.
Late to the game the show is not that bad honestly...
These episodes should be shown to both boys and girls in grade school.
Right, little kids are actually very open-minded before they learn toxic behaviours from the adults in their lives and society and pass it on to each other. The earlier you start learning about this, the better.
I'd be really interested in seeing what you think of Community and Troy and Abed's friendship, I think that not only does it do a lot right when depicting a close and caring friendship between men, but it's also maybe the only empathetic depiction of an autistic man and his relationships with others that I've seen in a sitcom (or maybe in anything), completely unlike Sheldon who in my opinion is an extremely vitriolic representation of the condition. It's all the more significant since both Troy and Abed are geeky men of colour, and even though the show does encourage you to find it funny when they do nerdy things together it never feels malicious and more so endearing. It's not perfect by any means, but it's definitely one of the better male friendships I've seen on TV.
Excellent analysis and I totally agree with everything, but just saying, if it was a woman doing this video it would be filled with "Fucking SJW" or "Tumblr feminists strike again" which also shows the deeply down rooted misogyny in todays real society.
Being a man means a lot of things - not just the "masculine" bullshit. My dad for instance - sews, cooks, gardens, tended after animals and raised 3 girls single handed while my mom was abroad working . But he was also a mechanic and is adept at intimidating any man who looks at him. My western boyfriend was raised in a hypermasculine toxic environment and yet cowers when my tiny asian dad is around. It's actually pretty hilarious.
I remember watching the show and thinking "why does Raj always get picked on". Now with this context it explains a lot.
As a trans guy - fuck hypermasculinity.
It took me a while to figure out there was something about the Big Bang Theory that I didn't like, and stop watching. I didn't really know why until I saw your videos, and this one helps to articulate it perfectly. Thanks so much for making these!
Thank you for explicitly pointing out the intersections between homophobia, sexism, and racism. I've seen so many men dismiss it or ridicule it like it's not the aspect of social masculinity that puts them at the most risk.
To be honest, I always interpreted the jokes on the show not as "look, these male characters suck at typical man behaviors and that's funny" but as "masculinity is so fragile and that's funny". It is not the fact that Howard wears an apron, it is how he looks unconfortable when he has no reason to be what made me laugh. Same with Leonard opening the jar, Sheldon says: "open this to show how strong you are" and Leonard agrees and he looks so desesperate when he can't do it. I always thought the show poked fun at how absurd those "prove you are a man" conducts are.
But I do agree with you about something: male friendship needs a better representation in media
Nerdy men who aspire to a masculine standard and police each other are the saddest type of men. My friends and I in high school fit this mould. We were horrible with women, never had a proper relationship, but we relentlessly made fun of each other for masculine failures. It was untenable. With the passage of time and separating into university, we have learned our lesson to some extent. The problem is it doesn't work! It doesn't get you closer to women, and it doesn't help you compete with men. It just makes you unhappy and stressed out. The friend of mine who has been most successful used to dress up as a woman at parties for laughs and was called gay by us. I think he got all his masculine angst out of his system, realised that it's all bullshit, and people can sense that now. Masculine ideals aren't negative in themselves, but accepted uncritically (strength without restraint, resilience without vulnerability, lust without respect, for example) they are (yep) toxic. I haven't watched BBT, but in reality these characters should grow through realising these lessons, not through more fully internalising masculine ideals.
As a woman, I wish women would be less competitive and more supportive, as well. :(
Sheldon calls Leonard a soy boy holy shit why did I ever enjoy this
I always thought that Raj is so comfortable with himself compared to the others, because he wasn't raised in the USA among all that agressive stereotyping and hypermasculinity.
Keep dragging big bang theory, ur doin' amazing sweety 😻
I've never watched the show (thanks God) but I find it so sad that the only guy who I would maybe realistically find attractive is Raj, who's consistently portrayed as the most undesirable of this thoroughly "eeewww" bunch. It's kind of heartbreaking really that so many men and boys are conditioned to believe that these softer masculine qualities are unattractive to women, and encouraged to behave in a more stereotypically masculine (read: misogynistic) way, when in fact their true qualities can be highly attractive and valued. Up until not so many decades ago, men used to be much less afraid of their feminine side, and I hope the day comes they will find courage to embrace it again. despite the messed-up societal pressure. I admit I find macho men super boring, it's the balanced, sincere, empathetic guys who interest me - and it's not just a matter of romantic interest, I just find it so much easier to form any kind of genuine connection with them. I really wish the day comes again when gentleness is considered strength.
In the real world, the constant belittling and one-upsmanship would destroy their relationships. As you point out, toxic masculinity often makes it extremely hard to have close personal relationships with other men.
9:58 Sheldon, guess what actually has estrogen and not just estrogen-mimicking compounds. Milk. Because it's taken directly from a female animal.
This is sickening... I wonder how much of this we as men have absorbed, not from TBBT but for every other movie or series that have this...
There was that joke about soy boy / feminine boy that Sheldon said, but the weird thing about this is that it is not true. The hormones in soy simply dont work like that. And I would think Sheldon would know it. But jokes aside, this was a really good video (and also the previous one about TBBT) and I appreciate all of your invested time and energy. And also simply the fact that someone care about the issue. Thank you. Even though I see I am quite late :D.
Look, boys, if you like the same stuff my little sister likes, that's not a bad thing. That just makes you a better conversation partner. Don't be ashamed of liking or doing traditionally feminine stuff.
you're one of my favorite youtube channels! i love the way you describe terminologies and other theories in ways that are digestable and applicable and generally understandable. you don't feel intellectually alienating at all, in my opinion, and that's refreshing.
Thank you, Manuela. Accessibility is one of my goals with this project so I'm happy it's coming across.
THANK YOU for diving into societal treatment of asian men in tandem with masculinity. Great work, thank you!
did Sheldon cooper just call Leonard a soy boy.
I'm genuinely surprised that this show is allowed to be aired considering the harmful and cynical attitude it has towards both men and women. It's also not a show that is about nerds so much as it's one that is making fun of them. The lack of actual thought and care is shown in the writing, like how the characters often make incorrect references (when Sheldon misquotes the Green Lantern quote and refers to Super Mario 64 being saved on a memory card when the game is actually on a cartridge). But even worse is, as you said, the way it portrays masculinity. If you want to watch a show that actually understands nerd culture without being patronising, watch The IT Crowd or Spaced or Community.
I guess that's because it fits the picture they want to paint of our society just perfectly.
To be honest, I always felt there was something off about this show and I hated their nerd jokes and I found Penny to be the most stupid female I had ever seen on any show. But only after these videos I can finally see why. This show is toxic as hell but the truth is, so is our society.
None of them have also every been at a real Comic Convention. The boys could have found themselves the most awesome girls who are just as nerdy as them. But yeah... where would have been the "fun" in that.
There are so many issues with Raj's portrayal in the show.The horrible misogyny and toxic hypermasculinity of the show often gets hidden under layers after layers of weird jokes and humor beats. Thank you for bringing attention to it! Love your video essays.
I always wondered what Jim Parsons thought about homophobic jokes
Another excellent analysis - thank you.
Anyone remembers that trend on tiktok where women were showing why they are not worried about their bfs cheating? Almost every single one of those women showed their bfs enjoying geeky activities.
A true shame and that was all by women. So all the young men and growing boys will remember that as they continue to develop.
As much as I love That's 70 show, it has the same problem I have with TBBT: Why are these people even friends? They only ever seem to be vindictive and competitive towards each other.
14:00 Can I just take a moment to appreciate how fantastic that transition was? Genius level editing, mate.
Happy when folks notice the little editing flourishes.
I stopped watching Big Bang because I didn't like how mean they were to each other...but I never realized how outright shitty they were to each other and the audience.
I really want you to shred Two and a Half Men. If there ever was a truly sexist show on TV it was this one.
Can you please do a video on representations of positive masculinity? Personally I think part of they problem with a lot of these terms such as “toxic masculinity” is that without an opposing idea of positive masculinity, how are guys supposed to act? I don’t think that men have to act feminine in order to be positively masculine.
I LOVE your channel. It's literally the best youtube channel ever!
10:06 is Sheldon making the soy boy argument?? was that (false) statement really shown on TV? God help us all
9:59 Sorry, did Big Bang Theory just ape PJW’s wildly inaccurate theory on soy compounds containing estrogen?
What the actual fuck?
Other way around I think
Great vid! I will say, another thing the writers do repeatedly that's lost its charm (if it indeed ever had any) is Howard taking the p**s out of Raj by impersonating/mocking his accent. It's just cringe. Like most folks on here I don't watch the show much anymore!
I would be so ashamed of myself if I was one of those main actors. Jesus Christ.
I love everything about your channel. Finally. Someone being an unabashed, unapologetic sjw as well and not backing down is so reassuring!
I spent so much time thinking sjw was an insult your comment startled me a little. Is sad how things have come to this point. I hope we can grow out of this toxic society that condemns those who try to make it better
Every clip hurts to watch
Fantastic essay. Don't try to rush the academic parts! That was my fave
The Big Bang Theory is just a slightly less toxic Revenge of the Nerds reboot
I'm torn up wanting more videos and telling you to take your time so that the next one will be as good as this one.