Yes!! My babies are almost adults, and part of me STILL resents certain family members who would just show up unannounced to see the baby. My shirt would be soaked with breast milk, house a mess, and they'd expect me to play hostess. Eventually we just stopped answering the door! 😅
My aunt and uncle just showed up unannounced to visit my baby. Thing is, I no longer live at the place they showed up to and my baby isn't even born yet. 🤦♀️
I agree. When I buy baby gifts for a mom who already has one I buy for the other kid(s) and for the mama because they need things too and are always left behind
Sad to hear that, in Morocco, everyone does something similar and if you are lucky to still have your mom or in laws nearby they will take care of everything for 40 days minimum.
@@banibatboutI’m Mexican and same here. 40 days. No heavy lifting or cooking. My relatives warn against the cold air too. Cold air is viewed as dangerous. I know that they have a similar concept in Asian families, where they encourage warm drinks and food only.
Wow! Very sweet and thoughtful. I had a C-section and we stayed at the NICU for 12 days. When we came home, my friends stopped by on different days and cooked, packed meals in the fridge for different days, did laundry, kept us company, watched TV shows etc. we never felt alone. We felt loved.
My friend had my fiancé give her a key so she could clean our place while I was healing from the c section at the hospital. Came home to a clean house and a fridge FULL of meal prep. Made it so much easier that I was 10 days post op before I had to cook or do chores ❤
If you have family this considerate, you are soooo blessed. My family thought I’d be caring for them when I was post partum. And I did because I didn’t know boundaries. This woman is a saint in the making. Thank you for the video.
I feel so sorry for you! My family is expecting me to do the same, want to stay at my home for 2 weeks... My parents, 3 siblings and sister-in-law!!! Thanks God I live abroad and told them my due date is a month later than it actually is. But anyway I will try my best to keep them away from me for the whole 4th trimester!
Wow that stinks. I love Korean culture for new mothers, where they are expected to stay in bed with the baby for a month while the grandmothers and other relatives pitch in to help. I think that should be normalized in western culture. My midwives told me that your body absolutely needs a month of basically zero activity after vaginal birth.
My mother in law is going on vacation - sailing right after her first grandson is born. She has at least four trips planned next year. 😒 Seems like she couldn’t care less.
@@miyoshiko9405please please prioritise yourself and rest. I had my 3rd baby 13 months ago and honestly, how people treat( especially family and in laws) treat you postpartum never ever leaves you. I had a very difficult birth this time around to which my mother in law witnessed as she was in the room with me, I came home from hospital the next day to a messy house, she came to “help” yet she sent my older children into school with messy hair, didn’t bother cleaning up before I got home or helped with laundry, I had a second degree tear and could bearly walk but couldn’t stand being in mess so as soon as I got home from the hospital I was crying and running around cleaning up because I just couldn’t believe it, she then made a comment to me later on that day saying how she couldn’t clean because she’s “old” she’s 52. 3 days postpartum my mother in law invited the entire family over for a party and was making me run around cleaning up the house and I burst into tears because I was struggling to breastfeed after a difficult birth and I just wanted to be in bed with my newborn and older children and she actually asked me why I was sad and I should be happy. I’ve never forgiven her to this day, and 13 months later my body is not the same, mentally and physically I still struggle day in day out. I’ve only just got my iron levels back up to satisfactory 13 months on and I still suffer daily with dizziness,back pain and general weakness and mental health struggles because of it. Coming from someone who has been through it and cares about other women and not wanting other women to go through the same thing, please say no and prioritise yourself and your baby.
Rule #8 - Offer to do their laundry!! Rule #9 - bring a heat and serve casserole for their dinner that night. Rule #10 - While you are visiting, suggest the new mom take a nap and watch the baby(ies) or do the housework during her nap time. (Wait for her to wake up before you vacuum) I have 2 sisters, and each had twins. This is what the family did for each sister. 😊 ❤
@reinab9843 Hi 👋 ☺️! Yes, I have 2 sisters, each with twins. One sister had fraternal, the other identical. BUT GET THIS!! True story, ✋️I swear. I have paternal first cousin brothers, each with multiples. One with identical twins, the other, TRIPLETS!! Of the triplets, 2 are identical twins, and the 3rd is fraternal. And the triplets are Sandy Hook survivors! My family has counted our blessings. My father and his brother (my uncle) each have 2 children who have multiples. Either it's in the water or our Irish genes. My father and uncle have a maternal cousin who also had identical twins. Again, ✋️I swear. It's mind-boggling!! All the best!
Nah bring something that they can heat and serve over a few nights (unless planned in advance). People would bring me stuff to eat that day when I’d already thawed out freezer meals from other people and then they’d act like I was being rude for not eating what they made.
I’m a mom of 3 and these are all great tips🤗 I would add if there are siblings bring them an activity or play some games with them. Chances are mama could use more help with them then the newborn🤪
Why is this so hard for people to understand? I actually lost relationships over not wanting people to just “drop by and see the baby” I was breastfeeding, exhausted, my house was an embarrassing mess, and some people, like in-laws who like to remind you constantly you aren’t doing it right, just never got the picture ever. My husband didn’t get it the first time but he got it the second time and he became front door guard.
Also from what I’ve seen, never kiss the baby’s face! Some mothers are too scared to set this boundary for fear of coming off as rude, but it can really freak new mothers out, and for good reason!
HSV. From mouth to mouth. Mouth to face. Mouth to hand to baby & back and forth. If not treated in newborns if they get it can be fatal. I think its best to limit visitors until mom deels comfortable to have them. Call and ask. Dont assume.
I've never had a baby so I don't know why perfume is an issue. Can you please explain? Is it a hormonal/smell sensitivity? You don't want fragrances around your baby? I'm not trying to be judgemental, I'm genuinely curious 🩷.
@brittanyb5293 no worries! The smells are just so strong for their little bodies. Imagine never smelling anything or anything but mama, then you are being held by someone who smells strongly of something like a chemical. Strong smells can give me headaches, I can only imagine how a little babe feels.
@@brittanyb5293 same as what Alicia said, but also to add on, I hate that my baby ends up smelling like somebody else. Because I’ll just sit there and smell that until they get a bath. It really bothers me. Our house, we very much focus on avoiding chemicals and synthetic things, and that ends up being a very bad one when it comes to being on a baby. With hormone disruptors and their little lungs as well, it’s just all around not good. Hope that helps!
Yes the chemicals are bad and it's a horrible way to find out your newborn has an alledgy to synthetic fragrance. My newborns face and body swelled wherever the perfume contacted him on his skin. Nobody was allowed to hold him with scents after
My best friend is pregnant, and this is the first time I am going to experience somebody's pregnancy so closely. I am trying to get all the training I can so I know how to help my dearest buddy out. Thank you for your videos that are focused on such little things as well.
I've been able to babysit my 7 week old niece a couple times already! When she was born I meal prepped a bunch of food for them that they could use for breakfast, lunch and dinners. Made me happy to be able to help out and see the new baby!
Excellent suggestions. I especially liked "always bring food," and "see uf they need you to pick up anything at the store.". ❤❤❤. May you be blessed and always get snuggles with the baby!😊
A diaper subscription is worth its weight in gold. Change the sizes every few months on the subscription if it doesn’t fit, the child it can be donated to a local food bank❤❤
Wow! That’s so helpful! I wish my relatives, friends, colleagues and neighbors were briefed by this lady before they showed up. I was super grateful to see them, but like the lady said - keep it short and sweet and no snotty toddlers plz ❤❤❤❤
I found it so funny cause I’m rocking my almost constantly snotty toddler to sleep rn and whenever we’re at playgroup I try to keep her away from the tiny babies (though tbh she has no interest in them).
The visit of my dreams. What I got (during the pandemic): MIL & FIL unexpectedly showed up with a nephew who was coughing and not properly wearing a mask. BIL and his wife showed up drunk and BIL kept directing his wife to just grab the baby. I ended up hiding away in my bedroom with my newborn as my husband kicked everyone out. At least MIL & FIL arrived with food though I guess. 😮💨 No more babies for me so now I just daydream about a better experience. It's comforting to see that there are those who are considerate enough to provide such a positive and truly supportive experience to others in this vulnerable position. Ya'll are awesome. ❤
Every mom is so different. I loved having their kids there with them and loved a long visit, so did one of my best friends when she had her kids. Of course I asked her permission before coming over with them and none of us were sick but she like me needed the normalcy back
These are great tips! As a twin mom I would also add, especially if you’re close family, to watch the baby while they take a nap. Sleep deprivation is truly a real thing and a luxury new mom’s need. 😊
Thank you for mentioning the perfume! This is not something I ever would have thought of before having children, but has actually been a huge deal for me postpartum.
I've never had a baby so Im not asking this in a judgemental way. I genuinely don't understand. Is it a hormonal/nose sensitivity to the smell? Is it because you don't want fragrance around your baby? Please explain, I'm all ears 🩷.
I’m not even sure why it’s as off-putting as it is. I’m guessing there’s a hormonal aspect to it. It’s just sort of a visceral repulsion that I’ve experienced but wouldn’t have expected. I also think you feel so vulnerable in that stage that you want a sort of safety bubble. That’s where the chemicals bother me.
@@brittanyb5293 those smells/chemicals stick to your baby like glue. They will smell like that until they get a bath and maybe even after. Also, it could hurt a little baby's skin. No lotion on the hands or perfume on the body/clothes. Dryer sheets can be too much sometimes. We do NOT need reactions/burns on baby's skin. I also am personally very sensitive to smells
I’m flying to my sisters tomorrow. She just had a baby 8 days ago and I can’t wait to cook, clean and spoil her kids with attention and park days! I try and do this every time she has a baby because it gives me so much joy. ❤
Sending this to everyone who visits us from now on! People who come round stay for hours, wearing heavy perfume, just sit and expect to be served. I don't feel comfortable enough do say what is and is not okay. This video speaks volumes
Well I’m sorry to break it to you but you need to start declaring your boundaries. No one can read your mind. Being passive aggressive isn’t the way to keep your friends close. Be honest and do it with firm kindness.
And also people don't need to come right after someone just gave birth. They can wait until the mother is feeling better and ready to welcome the guests. People only care about the baby but most of the time they don't care about mother's condition
I would add - bring a „present” for the mom that would help her somehow feel better/ feel cherished/ feel supported and loved - just to show your love for her and acknowledgement of HER💕 Love it!! 💕
I have two wonderful children and never had the pleasure of someone doing any of these things before coming to visit. You are such a blessing to your family.
Thank you for sharing. Most of the times, many people stray away from proper etiquette and courtesy during special situations. Especially, the part about “ heavy perfume “.
This is awesome! I’m 11wks postpartum and my in-laws are coming and they made sure to ask if we needed anything and whenever they come they always bring food and/or groceries and never stay past two hours ..
This is what I did for my post-partum mommies when I went to visit or if they were away - I would make them a care basket consisting of - different types of granola bars, chocolate, mothers milk tea, sheet masks and under eye masks, witch hazel pads, nipple cream, some diapers for the baby, fuzzy socks, hair ties, dry shampoo, dove sensitive soap
So sweet! You should add organic black strap molasses to that basket! Its great for postpartum healing especially if the mother hemorrhaged post birth.
From BOTH the new mom AND the new dad! Also refrain from saying anything rude such as (ahem) "I am here to see (the baby)! Not you!" - totally unprompted. Plus the new mom needs FRESH FOOD, especially if she is nursing. Do NOT think you are coming over to hold the baby while new mom and new baby are BONDING.
While this is nice, certainly not expected. I never expected any of this when having people over with any of my new babies. I was just happy for people to want to see the new baby. I will say, #3 is extremely appreciated.
These are such awesome tips. Especially for a new mother who might not have a partner or a support system. This honestly touches my heart so much. 💜💗💜💗💜
All of my family is 1000 miles away and i wish i could have had them more often. My baby is now 2.5 years old and i had to do most things on my own... Thank you for taking care of the new mom ❤
This is so thoughtful, I did all this when my friend had her baby, before I was a mom, and I made sure to wash my hands, take my shoes off and not stay too long. I’ve had relatives (sadly parents themselves) break my boundaries, especially with their germs, and accuse me of being rude, my baby, my rules. & yet I am told that I am one of the politest and emotionally intelligent guests I know.
Completely agree. That's how we did it in my family. Bring food, make coffee, help with the dishes, offer to bring out the garbage. And don't stay longer than half an hour.
Yes. Omg yes to this list. Some moms need emotional support, too, so ask her how she's doing and listen. I can't tell you how many hugs and and how much connection I needed after giving birth. Just see what she needs. 😊
Counter point i have several super common allergies that can be triggered ridiculously easily. My mum thinks im talking bs even though shes seen me have allergy attacks. Anti histermines are complicated when your pregnant and breast feeding and someone can develop allergies after pregnancy so make sure you ask before cooking, buy the brand they ask for and dont have too much to do with those allergens the day your going and make sure everything is sanitised before cooking but best buy premade options are great!!!
Some research suggests that allergies like peanut might be caused by skin contact with the allergen on an eczema-compromised skin barrier before it’s introduced in food, so very good tip to not have any common allergens like peanut on your skin, clothes, or mouth when interacting with someone’s baby.
I'm grateful that my culture is that way. The first reason ppl want to visit a newborn mom is to help out. Especially, family, they would bring food and snacks good for the mom, help clean up the house. Talk to the mother about problems and guide them through. My mom always bring me with her to visit new mothers, she's the expert in the community. She'll bring me with her just to help her out with their chores and look over the baby if they want to have some rest or conversation.
About bringing food: it is good to ask beforehand like "would it be okay if i throw 3 homemade dinners in your freezer" - i have friends who fully appriciate the thought whrn ppl did this, but it sort of was too overwhelming and ambushing for them to accept this gesture. A shame, but ultimatly their right
Agree. And also what kind of food they're not eating, especially if breast feeding and need to avoid things (dairy? Legumes? ). Also I'm a hugely eco friendly, but delivering food in disposable/ recyclable containers means they don't have to track or return the containers.
This is so true. I’m son’s 10 days old and this is exactly what people need to do. Haha but then again I’m going to save this and follow it whenever I go to someone’s home. This is a great rule in general.
My stepfather was an OBGYN. I worked for him. We, the office manager and front desk staff, would do these little visits for our new mommies. Get in with food, clean and comfort then leave.
I would say bringing food, and offering to watch baby while mom takes a shower. Help sweeping and mopping. My mom is this person naturally. I'm so grateful for her.
thanks for this content. My little sister everytime comes to my house (i have 2 little boys) she helps with dishes and anything else she see can assist specially when saw me exhausted.
I agree 100%! I just had a baby 1 month ago, emergency c-section. My in laws thought they could just come announced without a care in the world a week after I was home from the hospital. I didn’t open the door, answer the phone or even let them in. I was on the couch in pain with a bloody diaper and milked stained t-shirt. I’m not sorry and would do it again in a heartbeat. In Mexican culture that’s normal, but I refuse to a part of that.
When my husband texted my parents after our daughter was born they said that they were already on their way to the hospital. My husband had to tell them to turn around and wait at least until we were home with baby. They came to see her and as soon as I walked in they blew right past me to my husband who was holding the baby car seat and I struggled to hobble over to the couch to rest. Thank God our Golden Retriever was by my side and matched each of his steps with mine and let me use him to bolster my balance... he passed away a couple of months ago but he was my best friend, the most loyal dog I've ever met and always reminded me of Christ's love.
![Katie [your twin mom bestie]](http://yt3.ggpht.com/6NGIoGO0Z5xFVEtwFDfE3VopClNc9OuQgLwjylsY65zhj9kO1ahyRStnU3K_licojn3kCf3ZZA=s48-c-k-c0x00ffffff-no-rj)
And for the family, ask before coming over; don't assume they want you to visit.
Yes!! My babies are almost adults, and part of me STILL resents certain family members who would just show up unannounced to see the baby. My shirt would be soaked with breast milk, house a mess, and they'd expect me to play hostess. Eventually we just stopped answering the door! 😅
true, im not a mother yet but i hate when people show up unexpectedly
Rule #1!
My aunt and uncle just showed up unannounced to visit my baby. Thing is, I no longer live at the place they showed up to and my baby isn't even born yet. 🤦♀️
@catinabox3048 ha! That'll teach them to call ahead! And check the calendar! 😅
SO thoughtful & considerate. Definitely helpful tips to help the new Momma feel at ease
Rule #8 - Hug mom & any older siblings 1st. This is a simple way to let them know that it's not all just about the baby!😊
Why would mom need a hug 😅 what
It is about the baby lol
She is Friends with the mama
@@TheLoveMiku yea but it's still about the baby. I'm sure the mom will understand 😂
I agree. When I buy baby gifts for a mom who already has one I buy for the other kid(s) and for the mama because they need things too and are always left behind
I've had 4 children. Never in my life have I heard of or seen anyone do any of these. ❤ You are so sweet and considerate.
Really? I’m sorry 😢. But now you can be that blessing to a new mom. And you’ll know how much it’s needed. ♥️
Sad to hear that, in Morocco, everyone does something similar and if you are lucky to still have your mom or in laws nearby they will take care of everything for 40 days minimum.
I feel so sad for you.
Our female village needs rebuilding
@@banibatboutI’m Mexican and same here. 40 days. No heavy lifting or cooking. My relatives warn against the cold air too. Cold air is viewed as dangerous. I know that they have a similar concept in Asian families, where they encourage warm drinks and food only.
SHE IS SWEET TO DO ALL OF THAT THE NEE MOM HAS HER HANDS FULL WITH TWINS.
I like how you hinted that getting to touch the baby isn't promised and you shouldn't expect it while visiting❤
YES THAT IS SWEET .
Wow! Very sweet and thoughtful. I had a C-section and we stayed at the NICU for 12 days. When we came home, my friends stopped by on different days and cooked, packed meals in the fridge for different days, did laundry, kept us company, watched TV shows etc. we never felt alone. We felt loved.
Love the support your friends/fam gave!❤
@ thank you! 🙏🏽
So sweet ❤
@ thank you I
My friend had my fiancé give her a key so she could clean our place while I was healing from the c section at the hospital. Came home to a clean house and a fridge FULL of meal prep. Made it so much easier that I was 10 days post op before I had to cook or do chores ❤
Same rules apply when visiting a sick friend or a friend who's just been out of any kind of surgery. ❤
Be considerate 👏
goes doubly for friends with long-term illnesses/disabilities. it being chronic doesnt necessarily mean it gets easier for us 😢
These are very good points.
If you have family this considerate, you are soooo blessed. My family thought I’d be caring for them when I was post partum. And I did because I didn’t know boundaries. This woman is a saint in the making. Thank you for the video.
I feel so sorry for you! My family is expecting me to do the same, want to stay at my home for 2 weeks... My parents, 3 siblings and sister-in-law!!! Thanks God I live abroad and told them my due date is a month later than it actually is. But anyway I will try my best to keep them away from me for the whole 4th trimester!
Wow that stinks. I love Korean culture for new mothers, where they are expected to stay in bed with the baby for a month while the grandmothers and other relatives pitch in to help. I think that should be normalized in western culture. My midwives told me that your body absolutely needs a month of basically zero activity after vaginal birth.
My mother in law is going on vacation - sailing right after her first grandson is born. She has at least four trips planned next year. 😒 Seems like she couldn’t care less.
@ wowwww… unless you’ve been terribly mean to her I can’t see why she would be so callous
@@miyoshiko9405please please prioritise yourself and rest. I had my 3rd baby 13 months ago and honestly, how people treat( especially family and in laws) treat you postpartum never ever leaves you. I had a very difficult birth this time around to which my mother in law witnessed as she was in the room with me, I came home from hospital the next day to a messy house, she came to “help” yet she sent my older children into school with messy hair, didn’t bother cleaning up before I got home or helped with laundry, I had a second degree tear and could bearly walk but couldn’t stand being in mess so as soon as I got home from the hospital I was crying and running around cleaning up because I just couldn’t believe it, she then made a comment to me later on that day saying how she couldn’t clean because she’s “old” she’s 52. 3 days postpartum my mother in law invited the entire family over for a party and was making me run around cleaning up the house and I burst into tears because I was struggling to breastfeed after a difficult birth and I just wanted to be in bed with my newborn and older children and she actually asked me why I was sad and I should be happy. I’ve never forgiven her to this day, and 13 months later my body is not the same, mentally and physically I still struggle day in day out. I’ve only just got my iron levels back up to satisfactory 13 months on and I still suffer daily with dizziness,back pain and general weakness and mental health struggles because of it. Coming from someone who has been through it and cares about other women and not wanting other women to go through the same thing, please say no and prioritise yourself and your baby.
Rule #8 - Offer to do their laundry!!
Rule #9 - bring a heat and serve casserole for their dinner that night.
Rule #10 - While you are visiting, suggest the new mom take a nap and watch the baby(ies) or do the housework during her nap time. (Wait for her to wake up before you vacuum)
I have 2 sisters, and each had twins. This is what the family did for each sister. 😊 ❤
Both of them had twins? Wow. What a blessing ❤
@reinab9843 Hi 👋 ☺️! Yes, I have 2 sisters, each with twins. One sister had fraternal, the other identical. BUT GET THIS!! True story, ✋️I swear. I have paternal first cousin brothers, each with multiples. One with identical twins, the other, TRIPLETS!! Of the triplets, 2 are identical twins, and the 3rd is fraternal. And the triplets are Sandy Hook survivors! My family has counted our blessings. My father and his brother (my uncle) each have 2 children who have multiples. Either it's in the water or our Irish genes. My father and uncle have a maternal cousin who also had identical twins. Again, ✋️I swear. It's mind-boggling!! All the best!
Nah bring something that they can heat and serve over a few nights (unless planned in advance). People would bring me stuff to eat that day when I’d already thawed out freezer meals from other people and then they’d act like I was being rude for not eating what they made.
I totally read "take nap while the babies do the housework" 😂
I would say offer to do the baby's laundry or kids laundry. I think Mom might be uncomfortable if you tried to do entire family's laundry.
My baby is now seven months old and I appreciated it so much when people had done that. ❤
I wish people would've visited me when our baby unexpectedly died. Grief is such a lonely road.....💔💔💔
I’m so sorry for your loss - losing a child is the worst❤️🩹
@rethaschwanke1737 thank you for your compassion 💖💜
I’m sorry you felt lonely and isolated. That is such a horrible thing to endure. Wishing you peace, comfort and love.
@smiledriven26 thank you sweet soul 💚
Ppl don’t know what to say
I’m a mom of 3 and these are all great tips🤗 I would add if there are siblings bring them an activity or play some games with them. Chances are mama could use more help with them then the newborn🤪
Agree! And makes big sisters or brothers feel special ❤
Facts!
Why is this so hard for people to understand? I actually lost relationships over not wanting people to just “drop by and see the baby” I was breastfeeding, exhausted, my house was an embarrassing mess, and some people, like in-laws who like to remind you constantly you aren’t doing it right, just never got the picture ever. My husband didn’t get it the first time but he got it the second time and he became front door guard.
Yes! a lady from church did this and I literally cried because nobody ever did this for me not even family
Also from what I’ve seen, never kiss the baby’s face! Some mothers are too scared to set this boundary for fear of coming off as rude, but it can really freak new mothers out, and for good reason!
HSV. From mouth to mouth. Mouth to face. Mouth to hand to baby & back and forth. If not treated in newborns if they get it can be fatal. I think its best to limit visitors until mom deels comfortable to have them. Call and ask. Dont assume.
Right! NEVER allow anyone to kiss your baby!
YES!!! The perfume and lotions. Love the mama because she's already loving the baby.
I've never had a baby so I don't know why perfume is an issue. Can you please explain? Is it a hormonal/smell sensitivity? You don't want fragrances around your baby? I'm not trying to be judgemental, I'm genuinely curious 🩷.
@brittanyb5293 no worries! The smells are just so strong for their little bodies. Imagine never smelling anything or anything but mama, then you are being held by someone who smells strongly of something like a chemical. Strong smells can give me headaches, I can only imagine how a little babe feels.
@@brittanyb5293 same as what Alicia said, but also to add on, I hate that my baby ends up smelling like somebody else. Because I’ll just sit there and smell that until they get a bath. It really bothers me.
Our house, we very much focus on avoiding chemicals and synthetic things, and that ends up being a very bad one when it comes to being on a baby. With hormone disruptors and their little lungs as well, it’s just all around not good.
Hope that helps!
Yes the chemicals are bad and it's a horrible way to find out your newborn has an alledgy to synthetic fragrance. My newborns face and body swelled wherever the perfume contacted him on his skin. Nobody was allowed to hold him with scents after
My best friend is pregnant, and this is the first time I am going to experience somebody's pregnancy so closely. I am trying to get all the training I can so I know how to help my dearest buddy out. Thank you for your videos that are focused on such little things as well.
You’re a great friend 😊
A good, reliable, respectful support system is the best gift to a new mom ❤
She’s so lucky to have you as a friend.
The goat friend❤
As an auntie, the best thing I do for my best friend, is having alone time with us not talking about kids lmao!! 😂
I've been able to babysit my 7 week old niece a couple times already! When she was born I meal prepped a bunch of food for them that they could use for breakfast, lunch and dinners. Made me happy to be able to help out and see the new baby!
Excellent suggestions. I especially liked "always bring food," and "see uf they need you to pick up anything at the store.". ❤❤❤. May you be blessed and always get snuggles with the baby!😊
I fully agree!
A diaper subscription is worth its weight in gold. Change the sizes every few months on the subscription if it doesn’t fit, the child it can be donated to a local food bank❤❤
Wow! That’s so helpful!
I wish my relatives, friends, colleagues and neighbors were briefed by this lady before they showed up. I was super grateful to see them, but like the lady said - keep it short and sweet and no snotty toddlers plz ❤❤❤❤
I found it so funny cause I’m rocking my almost constantly snotty toddler to sleep rn and whenever we’re at playgroup I try to keep her away from the tiny babies (though tbh she has no interest in them).
The visit of my dreams.
What I got (during the pandemic): MIL & FIL unexpectedly showed up with a nephew who was coughing and not properly wearing a mask. BIL and his wife showed up drunk and BIL kept directing his wife to just grab the baby. I ended up hiding away in my bedroom with my newborn as my husband kicked everyone out. At least MIL & FIL arrived with food though I guess. 😮💨
No more babies for me so now I just daydream about a better experience. It's comforting to see that there are those who are considerate enough to provide such a positive and truly supportive experience to others in this vulnerable position. Ya'll are awesome. ❤
I love this so much. People really need this as a reminder. I had in-laws who looked forward to me making meals and brought over their sick littles.
Every mom is so different. I loved having their kids there with them and loved a long visit, so did one of my best friends when she had her kids. Of course I asked her permission before coming over with them and none of us were sick but she like me needed the normalcy back
These are great tips! As a twin mom I would also add, especially if you’re close family, to watch the baby while they take a nap. Sleep deprivation is truly a real thing and a luxury new mom’s need. 😊
🗣 More people need to become educated on this subject! Thank you for sharing.
As a mom of two, almost three, these tips are amazing! I am sending this to everyone lol
Congratulations 🎉 👶👶👶
Thank you for mentioning the perfume! This is not something I ever would have thought of before having children, but has actually been a huge deal for me postpartum.
I've never had a baby so Im not asking this in a judgemental way. I genuinely don't understand. Is it a hormonal/nose sensitivity to the smell? Is it because you don't want fragrance around your baby? Please explain, I'm all ears 🩷.
@@brittanyb5293 for myself it was more to do with exposing chemicals, unnatural or harsh, against baby's clothing/skin
I’m not even sure why it’s as off-putting as it is. I’m guessing there’s a hormonal aspect to it. It’s just sort of a visceral repulsion that I’ve experienced but wouldn’t have expected.
I also think you feel so vulnerable in that stage that you want a sort of safety bubble. That’s where the chemicals bother me.
@@brittanyb5293 those smells/chemicals stick to your baby like glue. They will smell like that until they get a bath and maybe even after. Also, it could hurt a little baby's skin. No lotion on the hands or perfume on the body/clothes. Dryer sheets can be too much sometimes. We do NOT need reactions/burns on baby's skin.
I also am personally very sensitive to smells
Du bist ein Schatz ❤ genau was eine frische Mama braucht
This also would be good to apply if you're visiting someone whose child had to go to the hospital or just coming back from the hospital. ❤
I’m flying to my sisters tomorrow. She just had a baby 8 days ago and I can’t wait to cook, clean and spoil her kids with attention and park days! I try and do this every time she has a baby because it gives me so much joy. ❤
I would also ask if they'd like some time for a shower. Trust me, they totally appreciate 20 minutes to shower and brush their fangs❤😊
Or get to sit down and eat a whole meal
Awww, so thoughtful. This is how it should be 🙌
Sending this to everyone who visits us from now on!
People who come round stay for hours, wearing heavy perfume, just sit and expect to be served.
I don't feel comfortable enough do say what is and is not okay. This video speaks volumes
Well I’m sorry to break it to you but you need to start declaring your boundaries. No one can read your mind. Being passive aggressive isn’t the way to keep your friends close. Be honest and do it with firm kindness.
@Suedepants100 your right. It would probably be better to speak my boundaries. But I also think it's on visitors to be mindful.
And also people don't need to come right after someone just gave birth. They can wait until the mother is feeling better and ready to welcome the guests. People only care about the baby but most of the time they don't care about mother's condition
You have to protect your restful recovery time and the privacy and precious bonding time of you and baby.
@@gillyweed4185Sadly, this is spot on. I felt so invisible the first two weeks postpartum. So glad to be on the other side of that!
So thankful being part of our church and having my sister around, she cleans my house. The church brought us a good hardy meal a day for 2 weeks.
I would add - bring a „present” for the mom that would help her somehow feel better/ feel cherished/ feel supported and loved - just to show your love for her and acknowledgement of HER💕
Love it!! 💕
You're the best kind of friend. ❤
I have two wonderful children and never had the pleasure of someone doing any of these things before coming to visit. You are such a blessing to your family.
Same here... Sending you virtual hug.
Thank you for sharing. Most of the times, many people stray away from proper etiquette and courtesy during special situations. Especially, the part about “ heavy perfume “.
This is awesome! I’m 11wks postpartum and my in-laws are coming and they made sure to ask if we needed anything and whenever they come they always bring food and/or groceries and never stay past two hours ..
Short and sweet is the key! When I had visitors I gave up on them leaving and said I’m going to bed and went upstairs
Friends like you are a blessing ❤
This is what I did for my post-partum mommies when I went to visit or if they were away - I would make them a care basket consisting of - different types of granola bars, chocolate, mothers milk tea, sheet masks and under eye masks, witch hazel pads, nipple cream, some diapers for the baby, fuzzy socks, hair ties, dry shampoo, dove sensitive soap
So sweet! You should add organic black strap molasses to that basket! Its great for postpartum healing especially if the mother hemorrhaged post birth.
Dry shampoo is good idea, cause time to shower is scarce. On the other hand it's full of chemicals so... 🤔
I love this so much! 🥹The short and sweet rule depends who is visiting though 😂 I had some friends I wanted to stay all day when I had a newborn.
100%. My sister would be like you're leaving?? With a horrified expression. Read the room.
Four weeks postpartum right now and this is perfect! ❤❤❤
❤❤❤
I wouid add Always wash your hands before you hold the baby. People don't think of that!
This is so true and helpful, thank you for putting this out there ❤
Really good advice! Also, don't make any comments about the house and don't offer any advice unless it's asked for.
Love this! Glad your kiddos have a new cousin!!!
I love this!!! To the point, concise and simple
Also the hidden step zero that is unfortunately not always obvious to people: ask and get a yes before going over!
From BOTH the new mom AND the new dad! Also refrain from saying anything rude such as (ahem) "I am here to see (the baby)! Not you!" - totally unprompted. Plus the new mom needs FRESH FOOD, especially if she is nursing. Do NOT think you are coming over to hold the baby while new mom and new baby are BONDING.
While this is nice, certainly not expected. I never expected any of this when having people over with any of my new babies. I was just happy for people to want to see the new baby.
I will say, #3 is extremely appreciated.
Yes girl! 👏🏼 Everyone needs this rulebook.
Good rules. The purfume/cigarettes is an important one.
Oh my goodness 😮 You are so caring ❤ I'd appreciate all of your rules as postpartum mom 🙏🏻 God bless you!
These are such awesome tips. Especially for a new mother who might not have a partner or a support system. This honestly touches my heart so much. 💜💗💜💗💜
All of my family is 1000 miles away and i wish i could have had them more often. My baby is now 2.5 years old and i had to do most things on my own... Thank you for taking care of the new mom ❤
This is so thoughtful, I did all this when my friend had her baby, before I was a mom, and I made sure to wash my hands, take my shoes off and not stay too long.
I’ve had relatives (sadly parents themselves) break my boundaries, especially with their germs, and accuse me of being rude, my baby, my rules. & yet I am told that I am one of the politest and emotionally intelligent guests I know.
You are so thoughtful. Bless your heart ❤️
Thank you 🙏🏻 these are not basic etiquettes. This is compassion and humanity. In times like these, true judgement of relationships is assured.
Ohh it’s so sweet, i’m melted🥰🥰
This is so considerate ❤
Awwww! You sound like someone I want in my family!
Completely agree. That's how we did it in my family. Bring food, make coffee, help with the dishes, offer to bring out the garbage. And don't stay longer than half an hour.
Yes! This is so important!!
Yes. Omg yes to this list. Some moms need emotional support, too, so ask her how she's doing and listen. I can't tell you how many hugs and and how much connection I needed after giving birth. Just see what she needs. 😊
Counter point i have several super common allergies that can be triggered ridiculously easily. My mum thinks im talking bs even though shes seen me have allergy attacks. Anti histermines are complicated when your pregnant and breast feeding and someone can develop allergies after pregnancy so make sure you ask before cooking, buy the brand they ask for and dont have too much to do with those allergens the day your going and make sure everything is sanitised before cooking but best buy premade options are great!!!
Some research suggests that allergies like peanut might be caused by skin contact with the allergen on an eczema-compromised skin barrier before it’s introduced in food, so very good tip to not have any common allergens like peanut on your skin, clothes, or mouth when interacting with someone’s baby.
You're actually the best!
I love you! Thanks for this public service announcement!
Bless you for this very important PSA 😇
Yes! You did everything right!! ❤
I love the environment friendly diapers!! I was cloth diapering both my kids, however, this is a great alternative.
I'm grateful that my culture is that way. The first reason ppl want to visit a newborn mom is to help out. Especially, family, they would bring food and snacks good for the mom, help clean up the house. Talk to the mother about problems and guide them through. My mom always bring me with her to visit new mothers, she's the expert in the community. She'll bring me with her just to help her out with their chores and look over the baby if they want to have some rest or conversation.
This is so dang sweet I got a little 🥹🤭 “Moming” is hard! You’re a great sis❣️
Love this! My family was so great with each of these but not everyone knows how to be a help or blessing to a new mom
this is so thoughtful ❤
Just yes! Wish I had someone like you when I had my babiess 😭
This is amazing to hear before I will visit my cousin who just had baby 🙏🏻 Thank you for these tips, very considerate
So thoughtful. Perfect set of advice
You're a great sister- in-law! 😊
About bringing food: it is good to ask beforehand like "would it be okay if i throw 3 homemade dinners in your freezer" - i have friends who fully appriciate the thought whrn ppl did this, but it sort of was too overwhelming and ambushing for them to accept this gesture. A shame, but ultimatly their right
Agree. And also what kind of food they're not eating, especially if breast feeding and need to avoid things (dairy? Legumes? ). Also I'm a hugely eco friendly, but delivering food in disposable/ recyclable containers means they don't have to track or return the containers.
Overwhelming to have homemade food given to u??
Ambushing??
Thats literally how every friend should be ❤❤❤
So thoughtful. Thank you ❤
Congrats 🎉
Thanks for sharing 🪷
Thanks for your kindest and thoughtful response ❤
This is so true. I’m son’s 10 days old and this is exactly what people need to do. Haha but then again I’m going to save this and follow it whenever I go to someone’s home. This is a great rule in general.
❤😊
As an aunt of 4 i totally agree. My sisters really appreciate that.
So sweet of you❤
My stepfather was an OBGYN. I worked for him. We, the office manager and front desk staff, would do these little visits for our new mommies.
Get in with food, clean and comfort then leave.
I would say bringing food, and offering to watch baby while mom takes a shower. Help sweeping and mopping. My mom is this person naturally. I'm so grateful for her.
Wish my in-laws were this considerate. That's sweet you are.
Ty for posting this! I am newly postpartum ❤
This is soooo True! Thank you for this content
you are an awesome human being 🎉❤❤❤
THANK YOU for this!!
I hope to have a sister in law like you
You're a good person I can tell
You are so amazing & so thoughtful
Excellent. This was wholesome.
Great advice. I always pick up a Lasagna from freezer section, garlic bread, and salad mix. And you gotta grab a dessert that Mama earned it!! ❤
I make soup and fresh bread plus bring a loaf for their freezer and a container of egg salad or tunafish - usually ice cream for the kids too!
thanks for this content. My little sister everytime comes to my house (i have 2 little boys) she helps with dishes and anything else she see can assist specially when saw me exhausted.
I agree 100%!
I just had a baby 1 month ago, emergency c-section. My in laws thought they could just come announced without a care in the world a week after I was home from the hospital. I didn’t open the door, answer the phone or even let them in. I was on the couch in pain with a bloody diaper and milked stained t-shirt. I’m not sorry and would do it again in a heartbeat. In Mexican culture that’s normal, but I refuse to a part of that.
When my husband texted my parents after our daughter was born they said that they were already on their way to the hospital. My husband had to tell them to turn around and wait at least until we were home with baby. They came to see her and as soon as I walked in they blew right past me to my husband who was holding the baby car seat and I struggled to hobble over to the couch to rest. Thank God our Golden Retriever was by my side and matched each of his steps with mine and let me use him to bolster my balance... he passed away a couple of months ago but he was my best friend, the most loyal dog I've ever met and always reminded me of Christ's love.