The WORST books I read in 2024 (open marriages, bad therapists, and of course... Adeline)

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  • Опубликовано: 23 янв 2025

Комментарии • 834

  • @lotofmalarkey434
    @lotofmalarkey434 Месяц назад +1068

    One good thing about "More" is that it made me finally go see a specialist to adjust my antidepressants.
    If I'm as stressed out and miserable as this narrator even after fixing my life and getting therapy, then clearly these meds aren't helping at all. I was right, it turns out I was on a pediatric dose for 2 years

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +235

      This comment is WILDDDDDD LOL
      i'm glad 4 u tho... Last year I realized the antidepressants I had been taking were not extended release and that ... Explained a lot

    • @MaddySchwarz
      @MaddySchwarz Месяц назад +27

      When u do ur inner child work, u gotta make sure u have inner child meds 😌😌

    • @dawert2667
      @dawert2667 19 дней назад +7

      The concept of a pediatric dose of antidepressants even existing is stressing me out girl

  • @HarleyCringe
    @HarleyCringe Месяц назад +1751

    that first book sounds like all those reddit threads about women being pressured into an open relationship lmao

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +276

      Yes but in excruciating detail

    • @MarcelleLeiturasPreguicosas
      @MarcelleLeiturasPreguicosas Месяц назад +258

      is just missing the part in which the husband comes back to update saying his wife is getting more dates and now she wants a divorce

    • @cardboardtubeknight
      @cardboardtubeknight Месяц назад +33

      This should have been a reddit thread

    • @Pondemonium89
      @Pondemonium89 Месяц назад +42

      I thought the same thing 😂 I always like seeing screenshots when the women get a lot of game, the men get nothing, and then the men want to return to closed relationships 😂

    • @shreyabooked9309
      @shreyabooked9309 Месяц назад +4

      Yes! So many AITAH posts like this!

  • @IvartheScientist
    @IvartheScientist Месяц назад +1904

    someone recommended haunting adeline to me and i'll never forgive them

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +260

      Who recommended it to you ......

    • @itssunday1990
      @itssunday1990 Месяц назад +217

      ^ Cindy subtly hints that she is an international assassin.

    • @MichelleP-t7o
      @MichelleP-t7o Месяц назад +37

      I picked it up at the library because I liked the cover. That is the only good thing about it

    • @IvartheScientist
      @IvartheScientist Месяц назад +1

      @@withcindy i think someone who wants to see me suffer loll

    • @IvartheScientist
      @IvartheScientist Месяц назад +11

      @@itssunday1990 i feel so supported ✨

  • @Sheblet
    @Sheblet Месяц назад +1383

    that therapist one is soooo crazy. how are you gonna tell a victim of childhood SA that maybe they were assaulted bc they were attractive 😩😩

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +245

      RIGHT?? IM SO AGHAST

    • @Pondemonium89
      @Pondemonium89 Месяц назад +32

      My jaw droppeddddd

    • @katl9180
      @katl9180 Месяц назад +32

      literally??? the noise I made out loud when she said that. i just.... HOW

    • @Nari-7022
      @Nari-7022 Месяц назад +17

      i thought i misheard that part but nO 😭

    • @onemin8729
      @onemin8729 Месяц назад

      Yeahh I was like bitch you didn't 😣

  • @titto8585
    @titto8585 Месяц назад +1092

    The therapist one made my jaw drop honestly ... imagine saying something so awful to ur patient and then slapping some self-congratulatory subtitle on ur memoir. That had me staring into an imaginary camera for like a minute

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +119

      Yup exactly my reaction when I got to that part

    • @sophier6504
      @sophier6504 Месяц назад +15

      Same! Immediately took it off my TBR

  • @itstoohotarmy8238
    @itstoohotarmy8238 Месяц назад +745

    That open marriage story sounds like a literal nightmare, wtf 😭✋️

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +87

      It really was.... I thought the book was gaslighting me

  • @micahguillemette3344
    @micahguillemette3344 Месяц назад +546

    I was hearing the "why was *i* assaulted out of all the boys" in my head and thinking of my friends who have been assaulted and what you could possibly say to someone asking this. Maybe "there's no reason, you were just unlucky" or "you were at the wrong place at the wrong time, its not your fault" but hearing her say "maybe its because of your looks" made me reel and i'm still fucking reeling. How could you possibly say something like that and never even think that was wrong??? That has the sane energy as telling a girl she got assaulted cause her dress was too short and cause she dressed sexy. Whatever answer there is when someone asks that, what she said IS NOT IT.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +50

      I totally agree 💯

    • @KittyxKult
      @KittyxKult Месяц назад +77

      When someone is asking that, the most appropriate response is to reflect back to them “it sounds you’re trying to make sense of why you were targeted” and maybe go into exploring how trying to find a reason YOU were picked often parallels with trying to find blame in yourself. It is a symptom of guilt and shame (which is something that needs to be worked through bc it is never a survivor’s fault) but it’s also usually someone seeking out “you’re not alone.” The sad fact is, he probably wasn’t the only one being abused. Nothing he did drew the predator except that he was vulnerable as an indigenous child in a residential school. The predator likely took that position because it made it easier for him to abuse the boys. A good recommendation from a therapist might be to OFFER to help them find a support group for indigenous folk who were abused in residential schools/foster care. It definitely sounds from this description that he was seeking community and the first place to start would be building a community with other survivors like himself.

    • @micahguillemette3344
      @micahguillemette3344 Месяц назад +2

      @@KittyxKult Thats a good answer! One the author should have thought of. Thanks!

    • @estherflecksing6305
      @estherflecksing6305 7 дней назад +2

      I was thinking those same things. As someone who's been abused I know it's just being unlucky. Abusers choose victims by chance, implying someone is in some way responsible for what happened to them AS A CHILD is really horrible

  • @Urmumlel7025
    @Urmumlel7025 Месяц назад +1077

    Poly person here. Yes, everyone is absolutely supposed to consent and know what's what with everyone. This is an insane portrayal of polyamory but, sadly nothing new. I kinda wish poly people has their own rom-coms that show genuine love and not the same old tropes. Love your videos also, that churro line was wild😐

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +207

      The only churros allowed for a poly situation is in Challengers

    • @yourlittleinsomniac5369
      @yourlittleinsomniac5369 Месяц назад +32

      If you want a poly show, I recommend The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself. @Chill Polyamory talks about it in a short for a brief synopsis if you are curious.

    • @angiewinchester3384
      @angiewinchester3384 Месяц назад +36

      The Bastard Son & The Devil Himself has one of the best depictions of a naturally occurring throuple I've ever seen. And there's no cheating or jealousy or anything like that. Those three just meet and fall in love with each other and are okay with that. Netflix has cancelled it if course but I'd still give the first season a chance anyway.

    • @xDianaMoonx
      @xDianaMoonx Месяц назад +3

      @angiewinchester3384 Is it the one that starts off titled Half-Bad? Also, is the final episode a cliffhanger or at least half resolved to help it get a second season (that never happened)?

    • @VeganBambi
      @VeganBambi Месяц назад +8

      poly rom coms.. ugh don't even say it

  • @mouwwie
    @mouwwie Месяц назад +538

    im a polyam person and PLEASE give that book a separate video i would love to see you make fun of it because it sounds like a hot mess

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +106

      It truly WAS a hot mess I was shaking my head so many times at every development

  • @CaughtBetweenPages
    @CaughtBetweenPages Месяц назад +376

    Good to know that Good Morning Monster’s monster is actually the main character/the therapist… that concept is ethically dubious already but it’s sickening that she’s not only hurting her patients, but she’s exploiting the harm she’s done and positioning it like it’s a silly goofy time instead of a compounded trauma. Absolutely sick, thank you for letting me know I can keep it off my TBR list forever!!

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +66

      Cue Gabbie Hanna singing: "but what if I'm the monSTERRRRRRR"

    • @CaughtBetweenPages
      @CaughtBetweenPages Месяц назад +8

      @@withcindy a perfect candidate to be that therapist's client tbh--they match each other's energy

  • @aihara_namika7585
    @aihara_namika7585 Месяц назад +582

    its okay Cindy, i'd watch your two hours long rant of Hunting Adeline. more videos for me to watch/listen while working

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +75

      You are my people!

    • @mymyyy34
      @mymyyy34 Месяц назад +30

      @@withcindyI’m literally waiting for the hunting Adeline video 😔😔😔😔😔

    • @Stonedandbookish
      @Stonedandbookish Месяц назад +6

      I have rewatched the haunting Adeline video a couple times 💀

    • @Nixx0912
      @Nixx0912 Месяц назад +1

      Yes, I'm in.

    • @BlackFiresong
      @BlackFiresong Месяц назад +3

      @@Stonedandbookish Glad I'm not alone in this. I actually needed to watch the Haunting Adeline rant twice just to fully process the levels of WTF reached by that book.

  • @dontbother2knock
    @dontbother2knock Месяц назад +188

    i feel the need to confess that when cindy’s review of haunting adeline came out, i was listening to it on the way home from work, and forgot to disconnect bluetooth. i tried to continue the video while i was settling into my room, only to realize that it was still playing in the car. to my horror, my dad had just pulled up in time to hear cindy recapping the weird cat and mouse perverted non con dynamic between zade and adeline. i have not recovered 😭😭

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +43

      Omg no 😭😭😭 I’m so sorry u had to live through that

  • @DisWriter
    @DisWriter Месяц назад +146

    As a therapist I tend to think people are hard on therapists. But, I was struck by Cindy's review of Good Morning, Monster. Whenever an abuse survivor asks "Why Me?" as they usually do, I make it very clear that the reason why is all about the abuser and not about the client. We also CANNOT read the mind of the abuser. People get really caught up on "why" and you need to ask why the why of it is so important. Often, it's because we think if we can learn why we can "fix" the reason so abuse never happens to us again. Of course, this isn't reality, but it gives people a sense of power or control. So, the therapist can explore this while you also explore "why."
    But, you always put the responsibility fully on the abuser. Saying "We will never know, but maybe it had something to do with the way you looked because pedophiles have physical preferences, which of course means it actually has nothing to do with you, and is sick. What would it mean for you if that were the reason?"
    Is a much different response then "Maybe it's because of the way you looked." while she'd also commented on his looks as looking "so native."
    I've had people say "Well, it was my fault because I actually flirted with him." And in that situation I say: "Absolutely not! You were a child that had a crush and the appropriate non-abuser response was to say 'You have a crush on me; that's sweet but of course nothing can happen.'" I also make clear children cannot consent to sex. Even if they think they know what it is, they don't.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +32

      Very well said! Sounds like that therapist should take lessons from you

    • @thewritegrump
      @thewritegrump 27 дней назад +12

      Reading this made me tear up; I wish there were more therapists like you. As a patient, I have gotten hung up on the 'why' of people hurting me in the past, and it's like you said. At least for me, I think that if I can just understand why, I can make sure it doesn't happen again. But you're also right in that it's just not anything to do with the particular victim and it's everything to do with the abuser. It's a scary answer to stomach as the patient because it does make things feel out of my control, but I've learned to find some sense of comfort in knowing it wasn't my fault, or something I 'enabled'.

    • @DisWriter
      @DisWriter 17 дней назад +4

      @@thewritegrump Oh hun. I just reading this two weeks later. It's never too late to find a good therapist about this

  • @sunfastrose
    @sunfastrose Месяц назад +162

    Let’s play a fun game titled “Count the layers of terrible - therapy edition !” Yay! I start with 1. - telling a SA victim that they were possibly abused because of themselves (by being conventionally attractive in the therapist’s eyes), 2. - sharing the patient’s confidential information without providing proof of permission granted to share, 3. - thinking this was something a professional should share as an opinion not only with the patient but to anyone reading the book, 4. - all the people along the publishing chain that read this and thought “yeah, this is good”. I’m sure there’s more, but I’m just overwhelmed with that as a start.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +15

      Phew that's a lot of counting

  • @catherineyan1697
    @catherineyan1697 Месяц назад +308

    omg yesss i love hearing cindy talk about how she had a terrible time!!!

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +62

      Ur a sadist I see

    • @lastsummerday
      @lastsummerday Месяц назад +2

      Same, I don’t watch the BEST books video, I just watch the WORST one 😂

  • @harriyanna
    @harriyanna Месяц назад +217

    the courage to be disliked was NOT HELPFUL

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +61

      It's worse than useless, it's harmful!!

    • @angel127_
      @angel127_ Месяц назад +7

      QUEEN HARRIIIIIII😻😻

    • @frankkang8994
      @frankkang8994 День назад

      I actually found it to be super helpful despite not agreeing with everything. Strangely enough, my therapist, who was the one who finally diagnosed me with cPTSD (complex PTSD) recommended it to me. It helped me understand that I am not responsible for how others feel, which helped me better identify how my lack of a sense of safety as a child had morphed into a consuming need to be mindful of others peoples tasks. I think it got some things right, especially about raising kids and separating life tasks, even if I didn’t agree with the argument specifically on the existence of trauma.
      But I know it’s not gonna be for everyone 🤷‍♀️

  • @xomegmegxo
    @xomegmegxo Месяц назад +162

    As someone who is in an open marriage/is poly, yes, everyone is supposed to know and consent. If I'm approached by anyone, I let them know the overall situation immediately so they can choose whether they feel comfortable with that dynamic. Some people aren't cool with it and it would be fucked up to involve someone who isn’t okay with it.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +37

      That's how it should be!! The cheating thing is so bizarre

    • @tinymxnticore
      @tinymxnticore Месяц назад +3

      That’s awesome. My first time hooking up was with a guy who I only found out was ENGAGED afterwards when he added me on Facebook. For a long time I told myself it was fine because they were probably open and he never told me he WASN’T engaged. It’s not like he was someone I saw a future with, but I probably would have politely declined if I knew he was in a relationship at the time

    • @silenceinspace.
      @silenceinspace. Месяц назад +5

      @@tinymxnticoreI don't buy that (on his part). He may have justified it by saying, "Well, I never lied to you!" but he absolutely did. I'm sorry you experienced that.

    • @tinymxnticore
      @tinymxnticore Месяц назад +3

      @@silenceinspace. In all fairness I never confronted him so I don’t know what he’d have said, and to this day I don’t really know if he had some kind of hall pass, or just wanted to cheat.
      I ran into him a year later when he was with his fiancee and while he didn’t outright ignore me, he was clearly uncomfortable about what I might say. He was a Pastor too lmao

  • @killercutie
    @killercutie Месяц назад +391

    I’m sorry, that therapist said WHAT?! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT IS AN OKAY THING TO SAY TO A VICTIM OF SEXUAL ASSAULT?! WHAT THE F U C K IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
    As someone who is going into clinical psychology and wants to be a clinical psychologist, someone needs to report this therapist to the board for review, not only for her comments to the Native American patient, but also all the other stuff she said as well. Because if this is the stuff she’s comfortable having people know about her interactions with her patients, then I worry about what stuff isn’t being shared. Like seriously, what would possess her to make her think that saying any of that stuff is okay??

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +68

      Dude I literally could not believe the audacity.... From then on I couldn't trust anything she said bc wtf

    • @killercutie
      @killercutie Месяц назад +49

      @ Fr, ngl, I am scared for her other patients, cause what do you mean you told someone that had been sexually assaulted that it might have been because of their looks and also had a really transphobic conversation??😭😭😭

    • @lucianacarvalho3136
      @lucianacarvalho3136 Месяц назад +27

      As a psychologist, I'm simply speechless. Who agreed to even publish this creature?

    • @RoseRamblesYT
      @RoseRamblesYT Месяц назад +15

      My thoughts exactly. This woman should have her license taken away, no way should she be allowed to “help” people when she clearly has some messed up thoughts and biases. It absolutely sounds like she’ll do more harm than good. Nope nope nope.

    • @june756
      @june756 Месяц назад +6

      ​@@withcindyExactly I am guessing she twisted some parts of it too ...even after this much edits this is what we are left with then it's very scary what other patients may have faced.

  • @inter_esting
    @inter_esting Месяц назад +279

    Shocked to find out that "Good Morning, Monster" has 4.45 stars on Goodreads. Then again, the majority of those four to five stars are from other white women as well so I am not surprised 🤷🏽‍♀️

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +93

      Goodreads ratings cannot be trusted!!

    • @sabrinachang6287
      @sabrinachang6287 Месяц назад +1

      I'm not surprised because they are not ready to hear "you were SAed because poc are easier targets"

  • @myenakhandakar3126
    @myenakhandakar3126 Месяц назад +298

    Zade Meadows would be on Luigi’s hit list

    • @lushphilocalist
      @lushphilocalist Месяц назад +30

      I WISH AND HOPE

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +114

      Luigi could be Zade but Zade could never be Luigi

    • @olivercetus6956
      @olivercetus6956 Месяц назад +9

      It’s giving Wattpad omg

    • @muskaan3711
      @muskaan3711 Месяц назад +10

      ​@@withcindy nah Luigi is respectful of women (as far as we know about the information given by his classmates and friends). Luigi would definitely pew pew Zade.

  • @TSfan217
    @TSfan217 Месяц назад +183

    THANK YOU for saving me from the courage to be disliked, just removed it from my tbr 😭

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +33

      You're welcome, you're welcome 😭😭😭 save yourself

  • @ocelotter8734
    @ocelotter8734 Месяц назад +96

    The therapist for good morning monster is so stupid. When the reason for why the coach SAed him, she should have told him there's no point in justifying the actions of an abuser because there is no excuse for it, not basically blame him for it.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +17

      Agreed idk why she tried to actually give an ANSWER

  • @lyrasinghh
    @lyrasinghh Месяц назад +168

    i love how you post a video everytime i am deciding what to watch while eating

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +46

      Hope ur meal is yummy, I'm eating Chinese food rn

    • @mayas3422
      @mayas3422 Месяц назад +1

      lol same i just sat down for lunch

    • @tomrojigualdo
      @tomrojigualdo Месяц назад +1

      Literally, I was eating a bun when suddenly - it's there, a Cindy drop

  • @dubioc7678
    @dubioc7678 Месяц назад +156

    As a Latina, I’m very confused about that churro quote! I really don’t understand 🤨 …
    You’re very brave Cindy for finishing reading that book lol 🙃

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +38

      I do not understand what that book was trying to say!!

    • @DisWriter
      @DisWriter Месяц назад +23

      But you know the racism "wasn't important" because she was exploring. (

    • @dubioc7678
      @dubioc7678 Месяц назад +1

      @ 🤣🤣

  • @harisbisevac4578
    @harisbisevac4578 Месяц назад +218

    Like I'm very ace but if I had a wife I would love her so much. I would be like "Look at my amazing wife." Why are these dudes like this? I don't get it!

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +71

      Dudes will always have the audacity

    • @Rowan_d
      @Rowan_d Месяц назад +53

      So many times, I have to ask if straight men actually like women.

    • @ayceinquisitor190
      @ayceinquisitor190 29 дней назад +2

      ​@@Rowan_d they dont. Always look for the flags that they hate you, spot the tyrants early and get out

    • @TheGoofy1932
      @TheGoofy1932 9 дней назад

      Many of them don't and some just want a perpetual mommy.

  • @sentimentalelemental7353
    @sentimentalelemental7353 Месяц назад +135

    Bestie 😂 everytime you said "rubbed me off" the wrong way instead of "rubbed me" had me cracked me up

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +42

      You are a true connoisseur of my verbal tics 😭

    • @cvryeii
      @cvryeii Месяц назад +7

      Fr I kept laughing, like Cindyyy I too do not yuck anyone's yum but oh!

    • @lillycrownover9804
      @lillycrownover9804 Месяц назад

      yeah doesn’t “rub me off” mean like… touch me sexually LOL

  • @07thfan35
    @07thfan35 Месяц назад +206

    12:17 These titles though. 🤣 What's next? Hitting Adeline? Hiding Adeline? Hurting Adeline????

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +60

      Pls don't give them any ideas

    • @lmao_tse_tung
      @lmao_tse_tung Месяц назад +9

      Pretty sure the first two books cover 1 and three there

    • @straww_berryyy
      @straww_berryyy Месяц назад +1

      ​@lmao_tse_tungKidnapping arc is next

    • @moustik31
      @moustik31 Месяц назад +5

      The line btw Dark Romance titles and Domestic Thrillers is getting thinner!
      😂

  • @starbird3939
    @starbird3939 Месяц назад +54

    “The Courage to be Disliked”
    … so essentially the book is “The Key to Success is to Not Be Depressed [and probably also be priviledged]”. Is that what I’m getting?

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +9

      Basicallyyyyy

    • @anisa2273
      @anisa2273 29 дней назад +5

      it's especially weird that the book supposedly was based on Adler and Jung when both of them talked a lot about childhood trauma and how society fucks us up but this book just says the opposite and i don't get ittt

  • @DawnOfDragonz
    @DawnOfDragonz Месяц назад +49

    With shit like Bad Therapy coming out earlier this year, I'm just shaking my head at an actual bad therapist saying with her full chest that shes proud of her microaggressions, and another book saying trauma is fake.

  • @BennetRenard
    @BennetRenard Месяц назад +122

    21:34 - Oh that phrasing by the therapist made me cringe so hard. I believe that there can be a place for people to interrogate their own cultural traditions and how they stand up against their own contemporary morality models (I've certainly done this with my own ethnic and cultural practices especially ones regarding animal slaughter, body modification, and dealing with the interaction between my faith and my queerness), but that place is NOT a *white therapist* saying _"well did you ever think not all Native traditions are good like not all white traditions are good"_ which not only flattens cultures under those umbrellas but it egregiously erases the fact that *white Europeans have treated ALL expressions of Indigenous practice and identity as inherently "Bad" for centuries and used that as the basis to justify both physical and cultural genocide.*
    People like her are the reason I very purposefully do not see white gentile therapists anymore. When you come from a marginalized ethnic group, so much of seeking therapy is going to involve dealing with traumas (both personal and generational) that I've found that therapists who are wholly disconnected from those sorts of experiences just cannot fully grasp. And even when they try their best, they can end up really harming their patients because of this disconnect.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +13

      Agreed, the only therapists I have liked were non-white. 😒

  • @Rowan_d
    @Rowan_d Месяц назад +75

    The siren going off while you're talking about Haunting Adeline 😂

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +10

      Hahaha I noticed that too!!

  • @loureedpipes
    @loureedpipes Месяц назад +79

    The way I audibly went "Oh!" at 8:37
    It was already bad that she was acting like using a group of people as a spicy online alter ego/costume was fine because the guys on the site were sleazy already, but that... I
    My brain is broken wtf

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +10

      It was so random and for what 😭

  • @doubleherbs
    @doubleherbs Месяц назад +85

    genuinely with good morning monster i think if i saw my therapists name on a book and i was in it that would be a new trust issue for me to have all my personal details there (even if i agreed to the info being used id expect some anonymity with names which it sounds like theres very little) it sounds like she should of loved the one lady who wrote lady tansy circle of women and used that as an example for her structuring

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +21

      I think the names and certain details were changed? I wish we got more info about how she obtained consent tho

  • @Geist-d3x
    @Geist-d3x Месяц назад +45

    On the haunting Adeline thing, it’s not even CNC! Adeline fans like to use that term, but there’s no prior consent which is, you know, the entire basis for CONSENSUAL-Non-Consent. It may develop into that, but it starts out as SA.

    • @karuflan9215
      @karuflan9215 Месяц назад +8

      I feel like the "consensual" part comes more from the reader than the characters. Somewhat like the "i consent, i consent, i don't" meme, but one of the characters is the one not consenting while the "higher power" (reader/autor) does? These books are closer to self-fulfillment fuel more than anything, after all.
      ETA: Not really saying they're less bad, but that I can see people rationalizing them in that way.

    • @Geist-d3x
      @Geist-d3x Месяц назад +12

      @ that’s possible, and makes sense honestly. I just wish the fans would just own up to what it is: SA fantasies. Don’t try to paint it as CNC, the kink community already gets judged harshly as is.

  • @maymarchmay
    @maymarchmay Месяц назад +76

    ooooh your hair is looking so healthy and nice! also it's crazy to see you in wavy hair, i got so used to your hair pin straight haha

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +22

      Aww thank u!! I think the perm I got earlier this year is still there haha

  • @csziel2581
    @csziel2581 Месяц назад +38

    I ate up this video like a warm plate of churros 😂 yeah, that phrase is gonna live in my head awhile. Thank you, Cindy

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +5

      You're gonna need to add churros to your shopping list every time you think of that phrase hahaha

  • @cheyenneguest4495
    @cheyenneguest4495 Месяц назад +53

    I hadn't heard of Good Morning, Mosnter, but after this I really don't want to read it ever. Like if people want stories about covering trauma/difficulties in life, they should just stick to Chicken Noodle for the Soul bc for the most part it was stories sent in by people instead someone else deciding to use others' stories while in their most vulnerable and needing help. I honestly do side eye books that have therapists covering their patients stories bc it always seems sketchy bc of the money involved.

  • @soupgirlreads
    @soupgirlreads Месяц назад +38

    Someone needs to examine the phenomena of white Bustle/Cosmo/Byrdie/Teen Vogue writers-slash-girly pop bookish lifestyle podcasters becoming mediocre nonfic authors because why did I get burned multiple times by these kinds of authors this year??? It's not nepotism per se, but it's...something

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +5

      Ur right and u should say it

  • @PokhrajRoy.
    @PokhrajRoy. Месяц назад +85

    This is THEE event some people wait for. Festive jeers to bad books 🔥

  • @NightmareonKelpStreet
    @NightmareonKelpStreet Месяц назад +49

    A recently married polyam person here, we had discussions pre us marrying that if we ever met someone we felt very serious about we wouldnt care about a like seperate ceremony with them as long as everyone in consenting and knows who cares. Thats the key to it. We’ve been open since we met though and having another long term relationship where we tried to open it up at the very end of us together i do feel like it only works truly if you START the relationship with expectations in mind. But also by this point if years down the line i never meet anyone else I wouldn’t protest closing our relationship so its give and take and communication

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +8

      Hmm do u think it's possible for a relationship to work if being open is a decision made years later? Cuz I would imagine ppl can change their minds!

    • @NightmareonKelpStreet
      @NightmareonKelpStreet Месяц назад +16

      @@withcindy maybe! I think it would be difficult depending on the reasons why someone asks or suggests it, if your drifting apart and ask to open it thats not great but if you both cant find everything from current situation and consent it could! Love is fluid life changes

  • @reya..4668
    @reya..4668 Месяц назад +80

    Can't wait for hunting Adeline rant😌

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +10

      New year new rant

  • @savvy3tv632
    @savvy3tv632 Месяц назад +22

    My dad read “The Courage to Be Disliked” and he lived by it. I didn’t know it was this bad though. He definitely parented me with the whole “you can control your feelings” and “you’re letting your bully win by being sad.” It honestly messed me up for a while. (I also have chronic migraines so the whole “tough it out thing” really didn’t help me.) Luckily, he’s learned and no longer puts his ideologies that work for himself onto me. He’s apologized for it multiple times. I’ve also grown older and I’ve realized that I can accept or reject certain things my parents teach me.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +5

      Oof that sucks u had to deal with the brunt of his lessons but im so glad he learned from that and has apologized!!

  • @roamoray
    @roamoray Месяц назад +27

    8:26 the scream i scrumpt . you can tell this is the exact type of person who saw black latina and asian women explain the hell of racial fetishization we go through and thought it was all in our heads 😭 'the twin sins' like this shit doesn't have actual consequences for latina women who fetishists seek out and harass across dating platforms

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +9

      The way I wanna tilt my head, look into her eyes, and gently ask "now what made you decide to say that"

  • @pluto7382
    @pluto7382 Месяц назад +15

    cindy the hair is HAIRING OMFGGGGG i love. hair looked so good i checked the desc to see if a haircare product was sponsoring LOL

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +5

      It was my "I'm about to rant about another terrible book" hair

    • @pluto7382
      @pluto7382 Месяц назад

      @ you’ve got to start reading more bad books then!

  • @bluestgemini
    @bluestgemini Месяц назад +29

    I woke up feeling like a hater; I needed this today

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +2

      Let the hate fuel you

  • @Jahan_MP4
    @Jahan_MP4 Месяц назад +26

    My evenings are always going to be glorious when a Cindy video hits my notifications

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +6

      It's lunchtime over here! Enjoy ur night 😗

    • @Jahan_MP4
      @Jahan_MP4 Месяц назад

      @@withcindy Thank uuu, have a nice meal then :D ♥

  • @mari98_
    @mari98_ Месяц назад +43

    6:20 this sounds like a miserable marriage just getting more and more miserable… not surprised

    • @mari98_
      @mari98_ Месяц назад

      8:15 WHAT??? rich white women want all the grace but do this bullshit… girl f you and your wack ass marriage 😭

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +9

      Tale as old as time

  • @tomi3888
    @tomi3888 Месяц назад +32

    the fact that she didn't tell that guy that she was married.. so not okay! some would call it cheating but it's definitely a big lie

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +17

      I think he knew she was married but he didn't know that her husband had agreed to them hooking up and when he found out he got the ick and left lol

    • @tomi3888
      @tomi3888 Месяц назад +10

      ​@@withcindy ohh so HE was big into cheating and left when it wasn't salacious anymore.. also weirdo behaviour

  • @juliakrystosek8003
    @juliakrystosek8003 Месяц назад +56

    As a polyamorous white cis woman with some noncon kinks, I spent most of this video yelling "YOU'RE MAKING US ALL LOOK BAD" at the authors, as if they could hear me

  • @romaromasalad112
    @romaromasalad112 Месяц назад +18

    Feeling terribly lonely rn. Glad to have a nice with cindy vid to drown out the vocies❤

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +8

      Aww I'm sorry ur feeling that way, and sending u a virtual hug!! U got me and I'll still be around in the new year!!

  • @elle8786
    @elle8786 Месяц назад +18

    The one with the therapist is the worst. When he said her comment triggered him, I said me too and skipped forward. Therapy should be a safe place for you to work through trauma and she went and victim-blamed him? I hope the part I didn't listen to involved him leaving her practice for a better therapist.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +8

      He did seek other native spiritual healing as a way to compensate for her white therapy but I'm still offended on his behalf bc she included his story even tho he passed away

  • @thecolourfulpill
    @thecolourfulpill Месяц назад +29

    "Good Morning, Monster" sure has a fitting title 😭. I've heard the saying that the worst bullies become nurses, but in my expierience so many unhinged people go into psychology. I don't know how it is in the US, but in Poland a psychologist cannot diagnose you (unless it's for specific disorders, but then they have to be trained in that specifically). They can make suggestions, however from my expierience with people that were studying psychology (if my therapist tried to diagnose me, I would be OUT), they made assumptions and failed to see the crossover between symptoms. I recently explained my dissociations to a girl who's graduating this year and was told it sounds like a panic attack/like derealisation, not dissociation (mine are actually closer to depersonalisation, not to mention that both are in fact under the dissociation umbrella... and dissociation is in fact a type of a panic attack 🤦‍♀️). Sorry for my rant, but therapists can be so unhinged, it's hard to find one that ACTUALLY will help you 😭.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +11

      Omg fr I've met ppl who were so unwell (like even mean to others bc of that) and they were psychology majors......

    • @_raeyon_
      @_raeyon_ Месяц назад +4

      Ex-psychology major here, that sounds about right 💀

    • @anisa2273
      @anisa2273 29 дней назад

      i'm sorry you had expereince with bad psychoology major but you gotta know not every student knows everything, like they could be wrong obvi, also most of my freinds are pretty nice people even tho we're psych majors so i guess it really depends

    • @thecolourfulpill
      @thecolourfulpill 21 день назад +1

      @@anisa2273 That's why I wrote "in my expierience" and "most". One of my good friends is studying psychology (she's in her last year if I'm not mistaken), another one is getting a doctorate and is a university prof. So I'm not saying everyone in psychology is unhinged. However it is a sad reality that a lot of people are (just like not every nurse is unhinged, but "the worst person you knew in school becoming a nurse" became a sort of meme). Not to mention the pseudoscience still alive and well amongst psychologists (mostly steming from trying to mix different fields of study together that have no business being brought into it), that has been debunked by actual experts in the topics their trying to appropriate... But I hope you and your friends can break away from that. I mean it, I'm not trying to be sarcastic.

  • @SOCbrek
    @SOCbrek Месяц назад +9

    We love how seamlessly cindy transitions into ads (also THE HAIR IS LOOKING SOOO HEALTHY)

  • @animmortalfan-girl604
    @animmortalfan-girl604 Месяц назад +8

    I love the pictures in the frames behind you!!!

  • @zamling
    @zamling 9 дней назад +2

    CINDYYY!!!!! Miss Stephanie Soo saw your vid and made an hour long video about "More"!🥺🥺 this is like the cross over that i didnt know i needed!

  • @oliveoil8736
    @oliveoil8736 Месяц назад +8

    As an Indigenous (not Indigenous to America though) CSA survivor, I am SO concerned about that therapist's book. Because even if I gave my consent to be in the book, I doubt I'd consent after I READ how she wrote it. Also I can write my own damn book! Lots of people have told me to write my story someday and I'm definitely considering it. Any therapist that thinks that they could write their client's story, IN A NOVEL and not an academic paper - presumably for profit no less - is a big red flag. I feel so sorry for these people because they can't fully consent when presented with the power imbalance of their therapist asking them this.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +4

      Justice for that survivor whose story was put in this book!! He deserves better!!

  • @curtischin8
    @curtischin8 Месяц назад +15

    The NYTimes just did a profile on me today. The profile is titled, "This Book Tour Comes with a Side of Fried Rice" and it's about my memoir, "Everything I Learned, I Learned in a Chinese Restaurant." I hope you'll still consider reviewing my book. Keep up the great work!

    • @ninipanini11
      @ninipanini11 Месяц назад +3

      I will be definitely reading your book!!

  • @samc.319
    @samc.319 Месяц назад +16

    21:26 This reminds me that this year in my country, one of the most prestigious and important literature prizes went to a book (Houris) for which its author (Kamel Daoud) basically stole the story inside his dead wife's patient files. The person who is the subject of the book is still alive and never ever told anyone other than her now dead therapist, she never consented for her story to be published or told in any way. But the author is friend with the president of the republic, and this literature prize is often given to a friend of one of the judges so... it still a very important prize so in the end the author will get money out of it thanks to the number of sales rising as a result. I hope the victim's lawyer will destroy that guy.
    And on top of this, the biography is distorted just enough in order to bash a religion. It can never be just one problem, isn't it?

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +2

      Omg wtf?!!

    • @anisa2273
      @anisa2273 29 дней назад

      let me guess it bashes Islam doesn't it?

    • @samc.319
      @samc.319 29 дней назад

      @@anisa2273 yes it does.

  • @sillerygonzalez-ortiz1901
    @sillerygonzalez-ortiz1901 Месяц назад +9

    FINALLY ive been ITCHING for you to talk about these books! Love your videos so much!

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад

      I’m so glad I could scratch that itch for you 😈

  • @muskaan3711
    @muskaan3711 Месяц назад +20

    The intro lmao the straights have not been okay for a long time 😭 so excited to watch this, I wait for your best and worst books video every year!

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +5

      Thank you so much!! 😊 They're fun to do

  • @TheMilesLuca
    @TheMilesLuca 29 дней назад +154

    It’s funny how the best advice is in books no one talks about. Guarded Laws of Money Manifestation is one of those gems.

  • @jadesmith417
    @jadesmith417 Месяц назад +11

    First Haunting Adeline, then Hunting Aledine, next we need Hnting Adeline

  • @boopyvacaine
    @boopyvacaine Месяц назад +11

    That book by the therapist really shows why we need more diverse therapists who can share our experiences. Also do we really need books by therapists when there are so many people with mental health issues who have written about their own experiences from their own point of view. One such book I really liked was (Don’t) call me crazy.

  • @whiteraven562
    @whiteraven562 Месяц назад +11

    oh my god, I forgot he called her little mouse. Now I'm going to be picturing Raphael from BG3 whenever your Hunting Adeline video(s) come out

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +4

      And she would call him *moans* KITTY CAT 😺

    • @whiteraven562
      @whiteraven562 Месяц назад +1

      @@withcindy barf

  • @RandomUserOnYoutube1298
    @RandomUserOnYoutube1298 Месяц назад +16

    Lol, to be fair, I don't think the straights have ever been okay 😂Your recent videos have been such a great joy for this season. Happy holidays to you Cindy!

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +1

      Happy holidays to you too! 🎉

  • @gentledragons6170
    @gentledragons6170 Месяц назад +5

    As someone who works in mental health, “Good Morning Monster,” sounds horrific. I couldn’t imagine telling my clients personal details to the entire world in the form of a book. I wonder how much the power dynamic of provider vs patient influenced these poor people’s decision to consent to their stories being told. I would be HORRIFIED if my therapy sessions were turned into a book.

  • @Scipio0404
    @Scipio0404 Месяц назад +8

    Honestly I'm so ready for that dedicated video about More, since it sounds like the fun kind of bad book. I just know that I will be laughing my ass of throughout that 40 minute video LMFAO

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +4

      I look forward to going thru the series of messy events this person went thru LOL

  • @skylarmoon0417
    @skylarmoon0417 Месяц назад +4

    THANK YOU for your thoughts on Magical Overthinking!! I completely agree, it was sooo unfocused and just a collection of random thoughts. Such a clear money grab. Would love to see a whole video on it.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +2

      It really felt like a whole lotta nothing packed into a book 😖

  • @franekstempien4571
    @franekstempien4571 Месяц назад +6

    Couldn't focus on the video at first bc your hair is so pretty!! Your uploads are my favorite part of the day :)

  • @micahguillemette3344
    @micahguillemette3344 Месяц назад +6

    Oh man i am SO EXCITED for the Hunting Adeline review!!

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +3

      I cannot wait for you to see how absolutely wild it is!

  • @bulky_titan
    @bulky_titan 9 дней назад +3

    Stephanie soo just gave you a shout out girl!!!

  • @alireadstoomuch9829
    @alireadstoomuch9829 Месяц назад +4

    After hearing you talk about "the courage to be disliked" I think the authors have not been disliked enough in their life...

  • @starbird3939
    @starbird3939 Месяц назад +18

    “More”
    Yeah, this sounds like a dysfunctional relationship pretending to be a “Open Relationship.” Everything would be better if they divorced. Feels like the husband basically pushed author into opening the relationship to cheat, and poor Op is trying to navigate all of this. Oh, and weight shame. Perfect. /sarcasm

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +2

      It is soooo messy and just sad tbh

  • @hg7842
    @hg7842 Месяц назад +6

    HIPAA- client privacy of their records and documents, lasts 50 years after the death of a client.

  • @lindslindslinds
    @lindslindslinds Месяц назад +4

    Love hearing about the books you enjoyed, love hearing about the books you hated. I’m excited to listen to all your yapping in 2025 as well 🤸‍♀️🤩

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +4

      You know it! Get ready for more yapping about all the books in 2025!

  • @jaysayshiallthetime
    @jaysayshiallthetime Месяц назад +5

    I just want to say I absolutely love hearing you rant

  • @emmajones5809
    @emmajones5809 Месяц назад +2

    You were talking about that first book and an Olive Garden commercial popped up saying "The more the merrier!" I had to fight the urge to laugh at how goofy that placement was

  • @leianx269
    @leianx269 Месяц назад +4

    A very good eves to me because Cindy uploaded 🤲

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +3

      Hope you enjoyed it!

  • @sakyqueen
    @sakyqueen Месяц назад +6

    That hair color and style really suits you! ^^

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +1

      Aww thank u, I'm going to keep it this way for a bit!

  • @natyboops
    @natyboops Месяц назад +2

    Thanks for the reviews, Cindy! I love your content. The HIPAA laws extend to people for 50 years after death. Sharing stories about your patient can be illegal if the details of the story identifies a patient and is not told for certain legally permissable reasons, such as patient care or insurance reasons. I'm not a lawyer, but as a medical records clerk for 13 years, I find it unethical. As a patient, I find it outrageous. The patient in question's family should look into this.

  • @kylagranville06
    @kylagranville06 Месяц назад +2

    Cindy I just have to say your hair has been looking SO GOOD lately !!

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад

      Thank you so much 🙏

  • @ebmage8793
    @ebmage8793 Месяц назад +8

    Good Morning Monster is what her patients thought when they met for their sessions with the author -_-

  • @KittyxKult
    @KittyxKult Месяц назад +1

    I had good morning monster on my tbr, thank you for letting me know. As a CSW (sometimes my job involves therapy) who also has experienced intense trauma, it really drives me nuts when therapists call us “heroes.” I got into this field because I was dealing with so many therapists who didn’t experience what I had and were not helping me feel better bc they were saying things that were actually offensive. Stop telling me I’m strong. I didn’t need to be strong. I was a toddler. I needed to be protected.

  • @rachymn7883
    @rachymn7883 10 дней назад +5

    Stephanie soo bought me here hello 🤗

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  10 дней назад +1

      where can i see what she said!!

  • @Yssakai-art
    @Yssakai-art Месяц назад +19

    edit: "i'm not here to yuck anyone's yum" I am tho! i will! that's me!
    wow "43 seconds ago" click, im THAT girl
    already commenting just to say your hair looks so good!
    i'll edit this later with an actual thought on the video lmao

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +5

      Thank you!! Its a lot healthier compared to my home bleach job lol

  • @mglarson5936
    @mglarson5936 Месяц назад +1

    I asked my sister, who is a therapist, about the “maybe it was because of your looks” thing and her response was “yeeeeeesh” and that should NEVER be the response to someone asking why they were abused as a child, because it’s 100% the abuser’s fault and there’s nothing the child did to deserve it.

  • @queengowon3681
    @queengowon3681 Месяц назад +2

    i look forward to this video every year lmao. Cindy shitting on these books is like the highlight of my year

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад

      It's always a good time!

  • @sabrinachang6287
    @sabrinachang6287 Месяц назад +5

    ppl are probably joking about dark romance or poly memoir but honestly that white therapist is more problematic than any of those authors could ever be

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +1

      Yup that's why I put her as one of the last!!

  • @calypso.s
    @calypso.s Месяц назад +7

    nah cuz that therapist straight up sucks. been in therapy for over a decade now, have had some bad therapists and one really good one. the good one i've stuck with would never, ever say that sort of shit. we've talked at length about therapy in general and "appropriate" ways to talk to and about people as it helps me get a grasp on a meta level of what we're going for as a therapist-client relationship, and i think the way that author talks about her clients would give my therapist a heart attack.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +2

      That therapist should be reported!!

  • @crystalsoojung7424
    @crystalsoojung7424 Месяц назад +3

    thank u for posting this on my birthday cindy i love you

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +4

      Happy birthday!!🎂 Hope u have a fun and restful celebration ❤️

    • @crystalsoojung7424
      @crystalsoojung7424 Месяц назад +1

      @@withcindybest birthday gift ever thank you 😭❤️❤️ ur literally my favorite youtuber, i continue to exist on this earth out of spite + to watch ur videos

  • @serenity_min1084
    @serenity_min1084 Месяц назад +21

    HI CINDY I LIVE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD SO ITS REALLY RARE FOR ME TO BE EARLY IN ONE OF YOUR VIDS!!
    but I just wanna thank you for getting me through my finals this year ❤️❤️❤️ and I really appreciate having your videos to turn to when the going gets tough. you're genuinely the only one keeping me on this app 😭

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +6

      I'm so glad my videos are helping you! 🥳 I hope u did well with ur exams!!

  • @meowmeowfuzzyface3698
    @meowmeowfuzzyface3698 Месяц назад +5

    Yeah i'mma need you to for sure recap the open marriage memoir because that seemed unhinged and I don't wanna read it myself lmao

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад

      Yesss I'll recap all the shenanigans bc trust me the events that unfolded were MESSY

  • @eileenalizade7685
    @eileenalizade7685 Месяц назад

    Ugh please make longer videos cindy 😭 i love hearing you rant

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад

      Hunting Adeline will def be a long video

  • @TheFlowerbeast
    @TheFlowerbeast Месяц назад +1

    Cindy giving what people have been waiting for

  • @theiaxo
    @theiaxo Месяц назад +5

    now this is incredibly toxic of me and I do love hearing you talk about books you like, but it just soothes my hater spirit hearing the stuff you dislike too 😭

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад

      Let the hate flow within u

  • @rafaelsampaio5577
    @rafaelsampaio5577 Месяц назад +3

    I was just thinking of the Haunting/Hunting Adeline as "evil Tuxedo Mask" when you actually call him Tuxedo Mask. Twinsies.

  • @KRayEpiale
    @KRayEpiale 21 день назад +1

    Therapist one caught me so off guard I started choking on my water, and scared tf out of my kid. What would posses someone to say that?! 😭

  • @jr.c.4250
    @jr.c.4250 Месяц назад +11

    8:46 this yeah was so real i swear

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +1

      Yeah.....

    • @kang_rina
      @kang_rina Месяц назад

      this was sooooo strange

    • @whocares12345
      @whocares12345 Месяц назад

      The churros… who let this woman publish this.

  • @bridgetacasey
    @bridgetacasey Месяц назад +2

    Gotta be fate that I see this notification while browsing these at the bookstore 😩🙏 thank you for your sacrifice Cindy

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +1

      Anything at the bookstore catch ur eye?

  • @dramonmaster222
    @dramonmaster222 Месяц назад +9

    Oh yeah, the therapist's book had me really side eyeing the author.

    • @withcindy
      @withcindy  Месяц назад +4

      I can't stand incompetent therapists