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The Women Who Were Sold To Marry Their Brothers: China's Child-Fostered Brides | Daughters Of Putien
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- Опубликовано: 4 сен 2024
- Between the 1970s and the 1990s, under China's strict one-child policy, an unknown number of baby girls were abandoned by their parents who wanted to have a son. Tens of thousands of these unwanted girls were brought to Putien, Fujian, where they were raised by foster families. But their foster parents didn't do this out of the kindness of their hearts. Instead, they had a clear goal: one day the girls were to marry their sons. Decades later, the women have grown up, and they want answers: where did they came from? And why are they traded like a commodity?
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The abandoned child has no reason to kneel down to the parent that has abandoned her. How is the biological father worthy of the respect when he has abandoned her as a baby. Now that she's grown up, he wants her back or to acknowledge her?
That is not respect
God's word says we should NEVER bow down to anyone or worship anyone that is not him or Yahoshuah Mathew 4
very true, but the way that they were willing to kneel down explaining the deep connection every child wants to connect with our parents/roots, the girl must have forgave the parents, move on from the past what has happened to her.
@@YadiJIt's just cultural. Preferably please leave your religious values within yourself.
@@leekimhar8223 Nope. It is biblical and all should follow God's law it is correct
I was physically sick when the host asked the girl to kowtow to her dad that sold her away. Wtf? He should be bowing and kowtow and ask for her forgiveness.
Yes.. Exactly!
Agreed! I was like wtf? Her parents didn't look too happy either to see her😒
没错!看得我直犯恶心!居然还冠冕堂皇的接受跪拜!生而不养
Yeah the host would be a trafficker if they could . That guy and that group just look creepy all around. Looks like a money scam to me.
Such a stupid thing to suggest. The kneeling in front of parents is part of a wedding tea ceremony that’s still observed today by Chinese in other countries (probably just in the Asian countries and not western). You do it to show respect to both sets of parents who have brought you up. You don’t do it for strangers even though you’re related by blood.😡
I dislike the mentality, deflecting blame on the context, enslaving orphans as housekeepers, having to kneel before the people that abandoned you ... I get the 'respect your elders' concept, but being old does not equate being a respectable person, it does not erase all that was done.
Precisely!!!! It's like bowing down to your boss who fired u. Who in the right mind would do that? Yet that disrespectful host insisted a mere stranger to kowtow. Who is she to decide? Just as ignorant as the selfish villagers who abandoned their daughters and bought foster daughters to exploit.
And that is why so many internationally born Chinese grow up with CPTSD. Most Chinese parents are toxic and narcissistic as fcuk. 3/5 international Chinese I speak to will have been abused by their parents at least once if not multiple times throughout their lives
@@zendeskfangirl350 each cny i can see hundreds of PRC making their baby (below 2 years old) kneel down and need to bang their head on a pot.
China really need to stop grooming their babies this way. Even workers need to kneel down to hold stuff infront of superior.
The part where the host ask the poor lady to bow to her biological father is too annoying.
The 'respect the elder' concept can be in the hand of a silent abuser.
I personally don't like this concept. People will respect people for who they are not by their age.
The "respect your elders" culture is manipulative, period. Anybody deserves to be respected, not only the elders.
This is basically buying an abandoned baby to make them a slave.
Betrayal from both set of parents 💔💔
Very similar to islamic practices, it's sickening
Yes. Absolutely this.
This is sickening. When the old foster mother said that she didn't allow her foster daughter to go to school because she would run away what she failed to recognize is that she feared the girl's intelligence and strength. She basically admitted to was the imprisonment of a human being in order to enslave her and that is just downright disgusting and criminal. And to beat a child and show them no love is evil. I will never understand.
What will be funny is we will see what happens with her when she gets old. China may have laws now but I don't think that situation will last. Will the young care for the elderly that treats them like trash or will many of these terrible parents be neglected?
Old woman wanted a servant especially for old age 😢
@@kellharris2491the was laws from 1950, but it still happened, and if it was 2000 they said it mostly had ended..
@@rubylicious1024 It ended in 2016. That was only 8 years ago.
@@kellharris2491 I don't feel like checking it at the moment, so maybe it was what they said.. when it ended wasn't, (if it even has,) but how you could stop it, and the law, was my point..
because if you don't have surveillance for each and every person, you don't know if they follow the law or not..
we have laws, rules and guidelines, and expect people to follow them, but it doesn't mean that everyone does..
when they comply, the masses probably wouldn't like to be forced, for the few that don't..
“She was cleaver, and I didn’t want her to run away”. The conundrum here is that if she allowed her daughter to go to school she could have possibly them out of poverty, instead of having an illiterate adult who is not able to really function properly in a society outside of the rural area… selfish behavior
Selfish and foolish to be exact.
The irony of it !
That's the mentality of the illiterate themselves, they don't know much about the world
Even in a well educated society. There are no jobs. Countries prefer labor. Countries like China, India few other European countries where youth unemployment is high even though they are well educated. Problem is not being educated her problem was her mother.
The cruelty of it is shocking.
As a Chinese adoptee, I live a happy, fulfilling life with my foster parents. The gamble my birth parents took paid off, I was raised in a warm home, wanting for nothing.
But I have like smoldering embers in the depth of my heart, that will never feel other things than anger and bitterness, knowing there's a chance I was given up in favor of them raising a boy. I will not know if the decision to abandon a 4 months old baby on the streets was made out of love and hope, or out of greed and desperation.
I will not look for them. They have made their decisions 30 yrs ago, and they have made that decision for me.
But the fire reignites in indignation when I see documentaries depicting how so many other girls suffered. You cannot ask me why I choose to be a feminist, knowing the conditions in which me and a multitude of Chinese girls were treated, commodified, seen as less than their male counterparts.
Unforgiveness brings bitterness and leads to hatred, you have a good life than God for it. You have suffered enough in your life time, let God heal you. He said even if your mother and father forsake you, I will never forsake you. Jesus loves you and you have a wonderful day.
Your adopted parents are your real parents. I'm very sorry you feel such pain. Glad you won't try to find them because the parents that raised you are the only parents that matter. The best to you, I hope you can find some healing!
Yes exactly this is because of men they want sons not daughters it’s about time they realised that sons are nothing ! Only daughters can breed more people ! With out us they would not be here !! Sick of this attitude ! In nature only the alpha males breed with the females ! The rest of the males either get chased away or killed ! We don’t need so many ! Sickening know towing to anyone
Why be happy meeting people who abandoned you ?
Yes and now it has come back to bite them as they now have a negative. Birth rate and women who don’t want to marry and have kids !
I have an adopted Chinese granddaughter who is now a teenager but all her life she has felt great emotional pain knowing that her parents didnt want her. She has had a wonderful life and lots of love but that pain from being discarded is still inside her. These fostered women must have suffered unbearable emotional pain. I send my love to them all. ❤️🌺🌹
I tell my girls it was the system. They are teens and as happy as any kid . Both extroverts they have a wonderful life . I pray the Rosary daily . We are all adopted sons and daughters of God.
I pray you continue to love and support her and keep telling her how much she is loved and valued!!
@@AL-wn2tt This. Because it WAS the system. It wouldn't have happened if the system was structured differently.
@@Unicorn-Healer1 well, a bit comes from the cultural belief that a daughter is less than a son. Otherweise people wouldn't have give away their daughters.
A Dutch lady I know online succeeded in finding her adopted Chinese daughter's parents and I was so happy to be able to help them write a Chinese letter to the birth family. But these happy cases are few and far between. You have given love to your granddaughter and God Bless you!
That woman that is disgusted by her husband touching her. so sad. You can tell the suffering
But he leeringly tells the reporter "of course she wanted to marry me" as if he some great catch...then she tells how they broke into her bedroom and let their son rape her.....there are accounts of parents holding brides down to help their sons complete the rapes....how do they not wake up one day and feed them all rat poison is beyond me......
Right, he was her brother she knew since she was a baby and he probably helped treat her as lesser all her life. But the men still get what they want so the are not as unhappy. If he didn't get her he couldn't marry at all. I don't know why these villages didn't at least switch the girls around for marriage as no one wants to feel like incest in a marriage.
@@Iflie reason they didn’t switch around is because they didn’t want to pay bride price and always comes down to money. Basically, they brought up their own daughter-in-law to serve their son and to get grandkids and to try to keep what little wealth they have in the family and then it starts all over again with the next generation and still has the same problem so if you’re not lucky to actually have a boy child first you kinda are screwed and they might practice again by abandoning the child until they get the boy they desired and is actually a good chance that when they go to look for a bride, they do it again and actually purchase an abandoned child again because they don’t know any other way and they won’t want to leave it up to fate because they want to keep the children home instead of letting them go off on their own to make their own way and make their own fortune because they know if they were to make their own fortune. There’s a good chance they they will never come back home and take care of them so it’s actually a double edge sword they think that the chairs is gonna want to take care of them and their old age with his new wife and children on the way when the person they actually would’ve banded would have tried to take care of them regardless as long as they dealt right by and now they’ve actually screwed themselves up, but they will never see that they will only ever see the immediate problem. They don’t look far into the future, remember that just in case the son will not take care of them so they be slide basically by actually reinterpreting adoption to actually buy a bride for their son which is what keeps them home so now he doesn’t have to go off and actually find a bride because if you as you know, if they find a bride on their own day, never gonna come back home to wanna take care of his parents because it’s a good chance that she was actually brought up with good parents and she would’ve saw through it and also that he won’t come home because he will not want to upset his wife or wife would get a clue if she got a bad husband and actually leave them so they afraid to be left
@@Iflie I feel it was more for grooming purposes. Raising their maid for life. That way you already know the household preferences and you carry on serving them. Honestly, this was just depressing.
@@Blissful8640 I think it's financial alround, a child is far cheaper than a bride and they can work for you as soon as they are a few years old and you can skimp on any costs related to them.
I expect the single men in china and india feel sad their parents didn't get them a sister bride of their own. They got to live but now there are no wives for them. As if no one saw that coming.
我的爸爸就是莆田下面乡下出身。他有6个兄弟姐妹。我奶奶生了6个儿子,一个女儿(那个年代还是英雄母亲年代,没有计划生育)。因为儿子太多,就拿小儿子换了一个女儿。后来长大就给我的四叔当老婆,就是童养媳。我听我四叔说过很多次他结婚时有多痛苦,因为情感上就像娶自己的妹妹。我六叔给出去了,但其实离得也不远,还经常回本家。他后来被安排娶了我四婶的妹妹,相当于童养姑爷(?)。他那个婚姻也同样别扭,像是取了自己的妹妹。
我的大伯生了四个孩子,前三个是女儿,最后一个是儿子。把第三个女儿就给人了。三女儿过年还会回家串门。
被给出去,交换出去的人心里都有创伤,他们都会问为什么偏偏轮到自己被给人了。但这种事情 实在太过普遍,真的几乎是家家户户,所以所有人这么多年确实也就是习以为常仿若无事地过过来了。如今也都60-70岁了。一辈子也就这样了。
我爸爸是家里唯一一个考上大学,毕业后被分配去了北京,相亲认识了北京人的我妈。我自己没在莆田生活过,但从小到大过年都跟大人会回去。所以从小也是跟老家的亲戚有很多来往,知道每家的故事。
看这个纪录片简直太亲切了,熟悉的口音,熟悉的老家街景,熟悉的童养媳的故事,熟悉的被漠视无视的人性挣扎和痛苦。
这样的故事不应该被遗忘,很感动有这样的纪录片记录这一切。
莆田泉州那边真的重男轻女的观念太严重了。女人真的就只被视为廉价甚至免费的劳力和生育工具。但愿这样的风气早日终有一天会过去。
I'm so sorry this happened to you and your family.
Thank you for such a thoughtful and detailed response. It must be very hard to be in your position. You are someone with these stories in your own family, while also you are someone who has enough literal distance and cultural distance to question the practice. 😢
Thanks for your sharing
The Chinese government is regretting the one child policy now. There aren’t enough women left in the rural villages for all the men to marry-they’re called “left over men.” The government is also wanting women to have at least 3 babies now and they are refusing to do so because raising a child in China is too expensive and also because the women in the cities have careers and are able to live independently-they just don’t want to give it up. Honestly I don’t blame them.
A former colleague of mine who was a visiting teacher from China asked me if here in the US there was a difference between maternal and paternal grandparents because in China there are different words for maternal and paternal grandparents. I, of course, told him that here grandparents are just grandparents there is no difference (usually). He told me that his mother’s parents don’t consider him their grandchild and have very little to do with him. He was so upset and he cried saying he just wants his grandfather to love him. I felt so horrible for him. He was truly heartbroken…
Apart from foster brides you had the girls that were kidnapped and sold from all parts of china and neighboring countries because of this shortage. Is a true horror show.
@@giummatos Boys also, I believe, for parents who had no sons.
I can't help but think that these now elderly birth parents are looking for their adult daughters that they threw away or sold because they need someone to take care of them. The children they kept are now all adults with their own families or problems and dont have time to care for their elders. These old birth parent just want a cheap slave who will care for them out of finial piety.
Those that were forced to become foster brides was a way for not having to pay a bride price and still keep a slave. I feel sad for these women.
@@donneone I wouldn't lift a finger to help the old parents who sold me. I would walk past them as if they didn't exist!
And I am so glad that these educated women aren't marrying ! Why would they? Better single & avoid a life of servitude. Singles have a good fun life & take care of themselves only.
If they marry, they would work at a job, plus they have to take care of their husband, their children, their (mother, father, sisters, brothers, and grandparents in law), do all the housework, childcare, etc. In addition, they're often mistreated by their husband & their in laws. They are criticized and must show filial piety and obey. In addition to that, they have to take care of their own parents too. Good idea Chinese girls: stay single and love yourself only !
The last scene the daughters write letters to their biological parents who abandoned them makes my heart break.They just want a little bit of love they‘v never had ,and they didn’t do anything wrong,so unfair.
Yes, unconditional love.😢❤️
They could not even write the letter, had to ask for someone to write for them because they didn’t go to school to learn how to read and write. Just so sad!
We adopted one of abandoned baby girls from Nanjing in 2000. She has been nothing but a shining light in our lives and is thriving exceptionally well as a strong independent well respected woman. Like anyone else, all they need is a chance to be the best they can be and its sad to see that most of them will never get it.
I have a friend in her late twenties and also adopted from China. She is deeply loved by her Canadian family.
I moved to the US when I was in high school. Two siblings from Fujian also went to the same high school around the same time. The sister was doing well academically and the brother wasn’t. Then one day, we realized we haven’t seen the sister for a while. The brother told us that his sister dropped out. We were all like why? But he didn’t tell us the reason. Later, a close friend of the sister told us that the siblings’ parents asked the sister to drop out because she was 18 and they spent a lot to feed her and take care of her. So it was time for her to work to pay the family back. More importantly, if she didn’t do that right away, when she married someone a few years later, she would be part of her husband’s family. Then all of the money spent would be wasted. I was super shocked when I heard that and couldn’t believe things like that are still happening to a girl who was born in the 90s and living in New York.
Omg😮
They bring with them their culture when they came to the western countries.
Yeah that's messed up. When she marries she takes care of the mother in law and is used by his family. Either way she becomes a slave
@@annettefournier9655Yeah in worst case she'd also be blamed if she doesn't birth a son & if she can't have kids regardless if its the husband that has a issue if her in laws as as unreasonable & backwards well chance is high she'd be ditched & her life will be hell unless her husband loves her very much & protects her. In worst cases even after marriage they'd exploit her for her brother h theirviwn sake. If that brother is spoiled rotten to point as taking it for granted/matter ofcourse & not protective towards he'd well that'd be also hell as she'd be trapped between both families.
I have very little respect for Chinese culture. They seem to have a penchant for cruelty, and are very money focused. Very mercenary and transactional about family
Something I don't understand is that if child fostered marriages are unlawful, why is the requirement to provide proof for a divorce so troublesome?
And where have been the authorities? This can't happen undetected in such a high number of cases!
@@Stoffmonster467 Rampant corruption
I cannot finish this video. I'm enraged by this. The public spectacle they make of "reuniting families" is victimizing these women all over again.
These people who organized it takes time and monies . They also have to attract families and foster girls to the event. They also need sponsors for DNA etc..
@American-Jello I agree with you. They have already been unwanted, given away, unloved, uneducated, and mistreated by everyone who should have loved them. Then, you display them for everyone to see their pain and expect them to be respectful to the people who didn't care. They have been through enough. There has got to be a better way for them. I could care less about the birth parents.
They turned it into a sensational reality TV show. Completely disgusting.
@American-Jello Lucky you that it has not been your lot in life.I did watch because it shows what happens and all so easily The use of DNA has brought happiness for some .How blessed are we who have not been through such a system...Many from the west go to find the family tree Does that enrage you ?
@@HelenaMikas I get the impression that you have misinterpreted my anger and the reason for it. I am well aware of the evils of the communist system, and particularly those perpetrated by the Chinese government. I assure you, this violation of women and families did not occur "easily".
Let's clear up our understanding here. Why do you think I am angry and refused to watch the rest of this video?
as said by one son who had an abandoned sister; the One-Child policy is not entirely the fault; the parents were greedy to have more BOYS... that itself a problem also
Yes, the saddest statement in the documentary.
In that vein, Chinese culture is way more sexist than the West, no?
Yes, I think it is more to a cultural thing.
When one-child policy hits an agrarian society this is bound to happen
In those days they had forced abortions if a woman became pregnant a second time....even if the baby was at full term, they would inject them in the brain with formaldehyde to kill them. You couldn't hide a pregnancy then, the villagers all spied on one another and would report them Sons were considered essential to support the parents and for him to have a wife and grandchildren to care for them in their old age. Now there are not enough marriageable women to go round so some girls are abducted and taken to the countryside and forced to marry one or al of the sons.......and have their babies as well as work in the fields, cook and do laundry and care for the old folk. Now the tables have turned and young women can name their price and they only want to marry rich educated men. They are paid huge dowries, while poor and working class men can't get a bride and they die old and alone after caring for their parents alone. They will never have children......it's so sad.
Why the F did they make the woman and her husband bow to her father that abandoned literally right after they reconnected in public just because he was her 'father' even as a Chinese myself that is messed up.
If you keep trying for sons and can afford to raise those sons but keep giving away your daughters that's garbage behavior. They've created a generation of traumatized women because they value men over women. I don't understand those who go seeking their biological families, and the hosts asking those women to kowtow to their families are out of touch.
Totally, the hosts are not empathetic to the daughters' feelings and just wanted things to end on a happy note hastily. Yes the daughters might have made the move to find the parents but doesn't mean they are ready to accept or even kowtow to them. Sometimes it's about finding an answer and closure. I like how CNA has captured this part to perhaps express their sarcasm 😂😂
To be fair some were forced to send their child away, like the first reunion (because it was their second daughter).
The host should be cancelled.
I think it is related to confucian ideology, where male more precious
I agree with you, but their still nations out were boys/ men count more as a women.
I was born in the 70 tis in Europe and both my father and grandfather were disappointed that I was a girl..... Good that this thinking changed over.
We might be living in modern time, but women still have the same value as a men and I find that sad.
This is such an eye-opening documentary that exposes a reality many people are oblivious to, myself included. The hurt these women have felt, and are still feeling on so many levels, is so raw. Liang Mei Rong stood out the most. She has such a beautiful and wholesome smile, but behind that, in her eyes, you can see she's still just a scared child holding onto that glimmer of hope that she will find her biological parents who will love and fulfil her longing for parental warmth. MeiRong and all the other women had to grow up too fast under these circumstances. I hope they all find peace, realise their self-worth, and heal their inner-child one day soon ❤
Tears wouldn't stop rolling. Women have always been the ones to pay the price for our failed system, stupid traditions, religions, and everything else the world didn't want. Thanks for the documentary, and thanks to the brave women who had to pay the price and go through what they went through.
If there is a next life, women should be the ones dictating, and I assure you, they wouldn't make these mistakes. Thanks to the all the women of this planet.
Men pay a price too. Life is hard for most humans.
And males have always been "Canon fodder". Wake up!
The weaker pay the price: women, children, poor people, elderly... Any human who is weaker (physically and/or socially) is gonna pay the price.
Well, you selectively ignored much of what this documentary stated, as well.as what the one poster wrote. Men also were forced into these situations and have been hurt by this. Women suffered most, but men too. This had nothing to do with any traditions, religions, etc. It was a socialist gov that punished people for having more than 1 child because the gov couldn't take care of the population. Having a boy was more beneficial because they stayed with the family and contributed, and being such a poor country, they needed the income only a boy could bring, plus his wife would take care of them in their old age. I remember in the early 90s a couple fled China by ship seeking assylym because the woman was pregnant with their second child and she was expected to abort it and didnt want to, and Bill Clinton sent them back. I was so angry. That was the day I officially hated the Clintons.Clinton's.
Also, women can be nasty and power hungry just like men. I don't trust anyone who has a selfish heart. Identity politics is ridiculous, dangerous, and stupid. I'll always go with the human being who is worthy.
@@carlablizard8514I’m trying to see but how did men suffer in a comparable way to the girls who just weren’t wanted and were given away as slaves? 😅
Wow, the twin bond when they were reunited is palpable even through a screen.
My heart welled with tears each time one recounted their loveless hard life growing up and the unbearable longing to find their roots and answers to their abandonment. The husband of a child-fostered bride who initiated the DNA matching is an angel. Hope more people would step forward, volunteer and help those in the 40's and 50's who wants to read and write to learn and those with deep counselling skills and experience to give their time and experience to help heal the women's psychological trauma. They deserve opportunities so late in their life to improve their skills, self-esteem, self-worth and confidence. They deserve to elevate their lives more.
So sad.. and that one woman reunited with her daughter even after DNA testing just says "She doesn't look like me at all" no hugs, just coldness. 😕I do feel for the parents who had no say in their baby being given away like that father who continues to look for his daughter...
At first I read the title as "Daughters of Putin" and thought it was about Putin's love children lol 😅
That whole reunite event felt uncomfortable. It felt an advertisement for the company or a game show when it should be something serious. If this was real it's sad that the daughter went to hug the mom and the mom cringe away with her arms down. The daughter only went to hug the mom because the host push her to. Her smile just drops when the mom says "Her? My daughter? She doesn't look like me". Then she force the smile back on her face and laugh it off.
This one get my attention to, what an idiot couple. The mother and father both of them give defensive expression and gesture. Not even a bit of regret.They dont deserve children.
Disgusting
Me too. When I saw it suggested I thought is was a misspelling of Putin.
That “mother” felt no remorse at all, and the humility of the sold “daughter “ who took that remark with just a smile melted my heart. Those brave women went through a lot. I hope they find peace and happiness in their lives no matter what …
No need to look for your parents, they don't want you and sell you like a commodity
need to know any health problems they may have later on.....
@rayjack No, you don't really NEED to know because sometimes there's no way to know and life still goes on. Maintain a healthy lifestyle regardless of the unknown.
It's pathetic that these women never get love from their family so they keep finding their birth parents😭. And a lot of babies were stolen from parents so they want to know why they were seperated from their family.
Chinese values the family concept of "roots", and considering their level of education, I can quite understand their thoughts.(This video reminds me of my grandma also is a foster sister, so you can see how common it is in FUJIAN, China.)
It's a natural instinct.
It so sad being a woman in this entire cruel world 🥲
And yet if you asked the average guy these days they would say that “women empowerment has come too far” :/
What happened here and in fact happens in certain places today is wrong. But to claim that it represents the conditions of women globally is not true.
This is common in middle Eastern cultural and certain Asian countries. That is why many women choose to remain single.
As a melanin-skinned man, I agree bout this entire cruel world!
@@tresphorempundu3185this is common in South America as well what are you on especially bigger families back then chose to educate their sons than they did their daughters having them as slaves to do housework while being illiterate. They would even sell their daughters or trade them for property. No matter where in the world, the boys and men were put first before the girls women ever did
@@tresphorempundu3185it used to happen here too and know that it is because women’s empowerment went so far that it doesn’t
This story broke my heart. So many of this women could have made outstanding contributions to China in business, IT etc. The father who came home to find his new born daughter had been sold sadden me so much. Fathers do love their daughters, and tears welled in my eyes when the son said the father had been looking for the daughter her never saw for years. I can never forgive the foster parents of those women whose life was horrendous and cruel. May many find their parents. Thank you CNA for this story that makes me realise how lucky I am as a woman.
Heartwrenching. 😭 May the abandoned children have healing in their hearts and have better years ahead.
The pathetic result of this one child policy and abandonement of the suppose excess child is the marriage of biological siblings only to realized to late after producing genetically abnormal offspring.
CNA is not only doing next level documentary, but also next level in picking the topics. dam good documentary. Edit: Amazing director Wei Du
CNA must hate China and Chinese so much that they made this video with ominous background soundtrack to dehumanize Chinese and tell the world that they are awful people. I am from Changle Fujian, and I can tell you that it's not a common to abandon girls, but the kids who were abandoned under one child policy were mostly girls. But right now, they ended this one child policy, and people are richer and they don't want to abandon their children. And this practice of "foster daughter" was banned after 1949, and the government made it clear then that anyone who bully these girls will be punished. I can't say that this "foster girls" don't exist today because China is a big place, but I have never heard of it as it still being practiced today, only from this video.
Even before 1949, the practice of "foster girl" brides was not common. As someone from Fujian area, I feel I need to speak up.
@@dragonfly02490SG also have such practice in olden days, they were quite old now, still living; no need to go to China.
@@nicklee7002 Yes, they are old. I don't know any, but I heard of two stories. They were from 1920's and 1940's era. People gave away their daughters because they were poor, not because they were heartless or awful people. I don't like this video because it's dehumanizing people in Fujian as awful people. They even add the ominous soundtrack in the video background. 75% of Singaporeans are ethnic Chinese and many can trace their roots to Fujian. It makes me wonder why they are doing this video. With propaganda like this, no wonder one of Singaporeans that I know said he "hates Chinese" even though he's ethnically Chinese.
@dragonfly02490 if people hate a human race just based on something they watch on TV, those people are the problem, not the tv programs... 🤔🤔
So now that they grow old they want their daughters back so they have someone to take care of them in their old age. Awful.
When Liu and Chen met and held hands it made me tear up. Its so heartbreaking that they were torn apart for most of their lives. but so amazing that they finally found each other after 40 years.
It's not that nice, though. Being tossed by birth parents, who would be considered lacking humanity, the victims may find that ridiculous and hurtful once again.
We must be grateful that we are so much more fortunate to be born in a better society than these poor ladies.
Indeed we should be grateful, but who's that disrespectful host to tell the lady kowtow to her cruel parents?
I am so grateful! I was born in China and I’ve worked through many rounds of heartbreak, despair, worthlessness, scarcity, panic I carry and sometimes I am confused as to where all those vibes come from and then I see videos like this - and things fall into place - this collective mess is a part of what makes Asian American women more suicidal than most (if not all) demographics….
@@jasg771 i was so unhappy to see that host demand her to bow to her biological father who abandoned her her too.
@@silverdove88 may your life get better as day goes by.
I'm from US. Just letting you know child marriage is still legal in US and just this year some states started banning it. It's something parents discuss with each other and marry their child (typically girls) to an older adult. Just google child marriage and google will fill in the rest.
CNA chose an amazing topic to cover on. These women suffered throughout their childhood with minimal love from their foster parents or family. Felt like giving them a hug 😢
No love from community or society either. 😢
‘There’s no cure for that feeling’, that’s so sad.
I cried for these little girls. Over whelmed with grief for the loneliness they felt in their hearts. The emptiness around them as they just wanted one slight showing from someone that their life mattered.The inhumanity and the suffering they experienced, make me ashamed that I complain of lifes little trials. I wonder, even after reuniting how many actually felt fulfilled at their quests outcome.
Quite irritated that after giving their children away, they are expecting happy reunions...bs
Reminds me of the philosophical piece about the utopian city of Omelas, where the happiness of the whole city depended on the suffering of one child. In this case the one child foster bride who suffers enables the happiness of her birth parents (they can have more sons), their foster parents (they have a servant and later on daughter in law), their foster brother/husband (who might otherwise not be able to marry).
This practice was carried from Fujian to South East Asia as well. My own great grandmother was one such. My grandmother (her daughter) told me how she suffered so much that she herself put her foot down and demanded that none of her own daughters go thru the same fate
I am heartbroken for all of these women. They're being abandoned and forced to marry someone that they don't love. Plus no opportunity for education and having to be the slaves of the foster families😢 What a sad and cruel world for them. I pray and hope that they can find peace and happiness in the future 🙏
so cute the reuniting twin sisters. can imagine it's super exciting to meet a long lost twin
Not even knowing you had a twin. I watched a documentary on twins adopted out in America, they were split and adopted by individual families, they didn't even know they had a twin and the only reason they found out, was because some scientist wanted to study them (he found that no matter how fat/skinny the adoptive family were, or what diet they ate, the twins were always barely a few pounds different to each other, and looked exactly alike, often having the same hairstyle, liking the same colours, etc) so 'experiments' on kids have been done in many countries... but that story was nowhere near as sad as these poor girls stories😢😢😢😢 I wish I could have adopted them all ❤❤❤❤❤
This is so heartbreaking. The end result of favoring males over female babies is an imbalance. Now there are 10s of million men in patriarchal countries that have no chance of having a wife. Devaluing half of the human race has profound, epic and unforseen results.
But, even though the total number of men is much greater than total number of women in China, there are more than 100 million above 30's educated unmarried career women, who cannot find a suitable husband according to her demands and so are remaining unmarried.. The educated employed women above 30 years who are remaining unmarried, because she cannot find a man who is richer than herself, who is ready to ready to marry her are called leftover women.. Example.. There are more than 100 million leftover women in China. The problem of these 30's career women is not that she cannot find any man ready to marry her.. There are hundreds of poor men who are ready to marry these 30's career women.. The problem is that the rich men whom these 30's career women want to marry, are not interested in her because she is old. These rich men are rejecting the older 30's women and marrying the younger 20's women. And the 30's career women are not interested to marry the poor men who want to marry her.. Now, the rich men marry the younger 20's women. The poor men go to the villages and marry poor village women or marry poor women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc. While the 30's career women living in the cities remain unmarried because she is not ready to lower her demands and marry poor men living in the cities or village men.. These 30's career women are only ready to marry the rich men living in the cities. While the rich men whom she is trying to marry, want to marry only younger 20's women.. So, the 30's career women remain unmarried forever..
Even though the total number of men is much greater than total number of women in China, there are more than 100 million above 30's educated unmarried career women, who cannot find a suitable husband according to her demands and so are remaining unmarried.. The educated employed women above 30 years who are remaining unmarried, because she cannot find a man who is richer than herself, who is ready to ready to marry her are called leftover women..
Example.. There are more than 100 million leftover women in China. The problem of these 30's career women is not that she cannot find any man ready to marry her.. There are hundreds of poor men who are ready to marry these 30's career women.. The problem is that the rich men whom these 30's career women want to marry, are not interested in her because she is old. These rich men are rejecting the older 30's women and marrying the younger 20's women. And the 30's career women are not interested to marry the poor men who want to marry her..
Now, the rich men marry the younger 20's women. The poor men go to the villages and marry poor village women or marry poor women from Cambodia, Vietnam, Thailand, Philippines etc. While the 30's career women living in the cities remain unmarried because she is not ready to lower her demands and marry poor men living in the cities or village men.. These 30's career women are only ready to marry the rich men living in the cities. While the rich men whom she is trying to marry, want to marry only younger 20's women.. So, the 30's career women remain unmarried forever.. And there are more than 100 million leftover women in China.
@@Fujian5481Hahaha! I think it's called a mismatch.
@11:37 Ridiculous! How can the host ask the lady and her husband to kowtow to her cruel parents? She was abandoned by her parents, so she's forced to kowtow to the people who threw her away like garbage? Never force people to do what u think is right, u may not be right. Blindly respecting others because of their seniority is simply stupid.
yes the parents also felt they shouldnt receive this kowtow...
@@icebleuesurprisingly her heartless parents were thick skinned enough to reunite with their abandoned daughter.
@@jasg771 her father thick skin enough to accept the bow some more. He didn't action action reject them
@@jasg771they probly received money to attend the event too
@gohsoonheng9598 I thought they are sick so they look for their abandoned daughters to take care of them
I started watching but had to stop for awhile..too much tragedy in this world and i'll never understand how anyone can throw away a baby, or pick one up to use her for a servant. It's making me cry because my own daughter passed away recently and i'll never get over the loss of her. My perfect child
🌈🌺🦋❤️
So sorry for your loss.
IMAGINE
How many were SOLD for Sex Trafficking, Ritualistic Sacrifices, Organ Trafficking, and Countless other INHUMANE Acts that are HORRIFIC
Yeah, heck to this day some do shady stuff like you know kidnap a girl & the killing girl burry & her to accompany their death son as a wife because they don't want him to be lonely in afterlife.🥶💀😱 Human trafficker are that insane for just a bit of cash & they get away with it too.
What a profound and sensitively directed documentary. Hoping all who were lost are found and that their sense of self, their esteem and self worth can grow and thrive.
I pray for the women who endured this terrible experience. You are so strong and inspiring. ❤️🩹🕊️ The Traditional Misogynistic Culture must change at this time and era. I’m hopeful that these ladies can start over again…and this story may encourage other young Chinese Women to become leaders in order to stop this dysfunctional system. Thank you for sharing this story. 🤍🤍🤍 N. California/USA
At 18:50 the guy is laughing saying that she married his foster sister while the wife looks annoyed. Creepy much.
Very. But he benefits no matter what so why would he be upset
@@DeeMulinge his mentality when he says those words infront of camera is ridiculous. I feel so sad for all the women in that village.
The "yes why wouldn't she" sir you aren't a catch and are sick
@@Bri-lk7re What benefit? laying with sister? Only an immoral psychopath would feel "benefit" from that. Normal healthy-mind men would never want it
Yeah.... Can't imagine your whole life he is the privileged brother that you had to be a slave to..... Then one day you are to be husband and wife and he wanted to touch her in that way??? Wth
Heartbreaking to hear about their childhoods. As a mother, i cant imagine treating anyone's children like that, with such cruelty.
I’m Chinese and I find this SO sickening
Because you are a girl
I don’t understand why people get pregnant and then abandoned the baby. I still remembered when my son was born 30 years ago, I felt so much love for him. I would do anything for him, even now when he is independent.
What'd you expect being raised in a regime where you're legally be forced to abort & abandoned your child by law as not complying has severe repercussions like losing the ability to ever have kids in the worst scenario. Add some very uneducated & misogynistic family on top off that. Also you're forced to marry if you want to have kids or the kid will be illegal no with them having no rights to public education insurance etc. So in case of rape if an (un)married mother wants to raise or keep the child if abortion too risky she can't keep it without breaking the law the or paying a heavy price she might not be able to even afford so they're only left with other choices if they want to give their child a chance, the relatives might actually sell/give away the child away behind their back as result.
This documentary only shows one side. There were also parents who tried to keep kids born after the first but the local govt like your village leaders would forcibly take them away
The parents who are portrayed here are the gross ones
@@missalicesmiles Yeah, not all of them portrayed there were bad for example, there was a case in this video of a dad searching for years his daughter. This was from the moment he found out that lost her as he never even got to see or hold her after she was born. Even his son joined him in the search when he was an adult & could financially contribute, it was so heartbreaking. I figure he might've not be the only one, those who truly care would search for years without giving up like them, so not all if those girls weee abandoned, there might've been quite some kidnapoed/trafficked too as there're also criminals who must've taken advantage of the situation to do bad stuff & earn money.
Love Wei Du's documentaries, another heart-wrenching documentary. As an overseas Fujianese, this one hits home.
This documentary hits hard. Feel so sad for these ladies and thousands of untold stories out there that went through similar processes. I was so shocked to know that they basically became slaves and some forced to marry their foster brothers (disgusting af and backward thinking).
The man claimed his wife was happy to marry him and was so proud, while she was recounting her experience and said she was disgusted by him. The host that pressured the lady and her husband to kneel before her very parents who abandoned her is so ridiculous. I cringed so hard, she didn’t even want to do it.
Some of the ladies here are desperate to find their biological parents, I was quite confused, but I think after reading some comments it could be that they just wanted some love that they never felt in their lives.
These ladies have been through so much, and I hope that life would be better for them.
This is one of the saddest documentary that I have come across. The pain of the foster women is almost unbearable and I am so glad that they finally have a voice and support now, even if there is not always a successful outcome.
I want to send love to these poor ladies. ❤ My heart wishes I could just give you all a hug and tell you how special you are and how beautiful you are. ❤️
I feel so disgusted they forced you to bow tow wtf
That host should be canceled
Me too! Wff right? How they move forward with such mentality?
@@pamelapeace1081 yea there are some evil people. Some in the comments think they should bow. These kind of people need to be called out.
Force to kowtow to parent who abandon u.
It is very difficult to comprehend what these women went through at such young age. We can never fully understand their pain...
Not every parent is a good parent. Period.
The whole thing was heartbreaking, these poor women. I can’t even imagine what their lives have been like.
That old grandma crying after telling her story .. keeping that child from running away because she was so smart.. shame on u!!!!😡
She wanted a lifetime servant for free "slave" .
She didn't want to lose her investment 🤦🏼♀️
This happened with my mom's younger sister, she was sent away in the 70s-80s to a family in Putian, and only recently found her parents (my grandparents) again through a DNA match. When I visited last year I tagged along with my grandparents and uncle on a ride from Changle to Putian, ~1 hour to her adopted family's house. We stayed for the Mazu festival parade that was happening that day, and the adopted family treated us to a bigass lunch around one of those Asian rotating tables (iykyk). My grandpa formally toasted and thanked the foster dad for taking care of her all of these years. We invited her for a wedding happening to a cousin in the Changle countryside a week later. This story at least ended well.
Side note: even though the two towns are a hour's drive apart, the people speak two different dialects that aren't intelligible, so when we spoke together we used mandarin (standard dialect). I think there's a layer of intimacy that's lost when you're not using your local tongue.
This story is crazy personal, my mom actually recognizes the volunteer at 41:35 and says that he had found his daughter who was given away
"I only want to know where I came from" is a powerful statement.🙏 I wish everyone finds what they have been looking for.
I would not want to bow down to the people who clearly abandoned me, that is tantamount to telling them their abuse was justified. I feel sorry for the dad whose daughter was sold whilst he was away at work. What happened is and was pure evil.
This is sad and shameful. All these daughters/women are so beautiful and brave to have endured knowing their families gave them away. May God shower blessings upon these women who were neglected.
Read a book about this issue. But it was on the perspective of the mothers who were forced to abandon their daughter. It was either abandoned or death for their baby girls so many choose to let their baby girl have a chance at life. And many of these mothers suffer silently psychologically for years. Not all who abandon do it out of their own free will. And it’s not my place to judge if they are worth forgiving or not. But it is definitely not mine to condemn.
Yes, one should place it in the context of that era and unfortunate circumstances each player faces.
How some put their own interests ahead of the welfare of their own children is beyond my comprehension. These children are all beautiful and valuable, deserving humans and they should have been treated as the precious treasures they truly are. This breaks my heart. I hope they have found much love and happiness in their future. Virtual hugs to these beautiful girls. You deserved so much better. 😢
“I felt that my own parents wouldn’t have treated me like that” …they left you as a baby in favour of a boy :/
Exactly. Her adoptive parents were crap, but her real parents abandoned her.
Ya that's what I was thinking!! Children really are so vulnerable, they have so much faith in their parents even when they are not deserving of it.
@@rashminable exactly.. just wanted to reach into the screen and give her a hug
12:07 The only one to accept guilt and accurately identify responsibility is the younger brother. 🤨He obviously raised himself.
high EQ
Is not his burden to bear, must have been hard on his psyche - maybe his parents kept harping on the "fact" that he is the "lucky" one. It is very very sad but so true - "it was not completely about the 1 child policy..... You could never have too many sons but not even 1 daughter..." 😿😿
@@catt138he was the most reasonable person in this show none of those bio parents showed any remorse or regret.
12:30 "I don't think the one child policy explains everything. People already had sons. They gave up their daughters so they could have more sons." This is honestly the first time I heard a Chinese person admitting that there was an underlying cultural problem before the policy even came into play... And the reality now knowing that there are no more foster wives because the baby girls are now aborted instead of sold.
Poor baby girls, raised as slave and never loved. What a SICK society 😢
The massive shortsightedness of “preferring sons” is a cultural issue that should have been taken into account when planning out the “One Child” policy.
Instead, you have an entire generation of girls who were abandoned and enslaved, who are now expected to be grateful to the shameful people who abandoned and abused them.
The “Family Reunion” being done on a stage in public, and having the abandoned daughter be a supplicant just shows how deeply messed up Chinese culture has become.
I can’t even - the evil of the “child-fostered bride” system is just disgusting.
Such irony, they are named Ah Le, which means happiness.
If I am not mistaken, “le” in dialects means picked. My relatives used this terms quite often but my family used “kiou”.
Did they show the characters for it at any point? Without seeing the characters, we can't know which "le" it is.
the title has a Chinese words that show the “le” is the same character as happiness.
@@hglee3469 same here, we use "kiou" as pickup.
BTW I'm Putien 😂
@@AdeleiTeillanain the title card of 'Daughters of Putien' it wrote 阿乐, horrifically sad that these girls were labelled as happiness yet they were mercilessly sold like that
My heart aches that so few cultures value women as equals and so many sell them into servitude... I will never ever take my freedom for granted, even if not full equality. This cements it. What are we doing to help women find this equality? I think I'm going to look this up and find out what I can do locally! Thank you for the inspiration and dose of humility.
Kudos to Wei Du again after the documentary on walking the line. This is journalism at its finest.
Agree. Kudos to Wei Du for a job well done. I was totally entralled watching Walking the Line.
The power of patriarchy spans over generations.
If you've an ounce of empathy, you'll really feel for these women. If you've ever suffered any form of abuse, you'll feel your heart breaking for those little girls. ✌
Men determine the sex …. I’ll never understand women being shamed for having girls
Men like to abuse and control for their benefits, they don't search the truth
Another world class documentary by CNA. From Malaysia.
Good job Wei Du and CNA Insider team!
yes! i noticed the name of the director too. just coz this documentary is SO WELL DIRECTED, shot, and put together. amazing
‘I was sad, but so what?’ This already broke my heart, kids that were forced to grow up too early and were left to circumstances out of their control :(
The pain in the woman who makes fishing nets is just 😢
I am from hujian, first time watching this kind documentary. CNA is doing great work
I don't understand why they wouldn't allow their foster daughter to marry some other famiy with a foster daughter and swap daughters so the sisters wouldn't have to marry their brothers.
It's because this way they don't have to pay money. When you marry you marry the families together too and there are certain social expectations.
It's also because they see marriage of a daughter as "giving away". They see it as "I fed her, gave her somewhere to sleep, and trained her for years so why would I give her to another family? What if the girl I get isn't as good as the one I gave away?"
@@LarisaC. it's so she doesn't feel it's incest, but ofc best scenario is she escapes the forced marriage
I thought the public reunion was so inappropriate, it felt so intrusive as a viewer through the screen. I can't imagine how the participants (but victims really) felt with all of those eyes on them as if it was a game show, especially with the kowtowing that the host asked of the lady to her biological father.
Amazing documentary! Thank you for your hard work.
Thanks CNA for reporting this. I am not from Fujian but I am sure something similar happened in my province. My heart is broken now thinking about these girls
If I were abandoned, I would not try to find my biological parents
Different background, different thought processes. Sometimes when one had been wondering their entire life, they just needed some answers or clarification or some faint assurance that they were loved.
To me it depends on case as some cases they might not have voluntary been abandoned but rather we're sold/discarded by their own family like maybe by their granny, aunt, uncle etc. behind the parents back. That's also what makes it hell to some cases as in some cases they (parent) keep looking for he child & feel guilty & worried for the rest of their lives. I can't even imagine how much anguish that'd be to be in such an environment.
Countless were left for death and to drown in rivers, or were left in the woods. Someone who grew up in a village had recounted that at least a body found each wk by his river. Nothing was ever publicized. But when you look at the # of men vs women in the population, one must wonder what was done to those millions of girls.
The unfairness that girls are made to endure all over the world breaks my heart. This inequality was fostered by the rules/mindset that were made by men over a long period of time. I am thankful that my parents , though poor, tried their very best to give us daughters the best education they could afford. This education caused us to escape poverty and minimize the level of unfairness. Unfortunately other girls may not get the chance due to their circumstances. To girls, try best to get education and to find ways to work in order to be financially free from depending on anyone. This is one way to have value and happiness for yourself.
Some become enslaved in their work place.
In my village, even my 70-year-old mom, who only attended school for a few years, can read and write simply. Last time, I learned that there are still people, especially women, who are unable to read. They are around 50 years old, and I find it so unbelievable. Now I know why. Picking them to be your family, why treated them so badly, so selfish.
I dont get this mindset to, why is it so hard just to show a bit of affection to them. More over they the one who takecare of the parents when they old even the rest of the family.
Logically how can someone put the caring of their family in the hand of someone they abused all the long years.
Not saying the abandoned daughter suspicious or have bad intention but its common knowledge what you give is what you gonna get.
Just a bit of kindness none of this old people can afford it.
@@PalemSetia-xc5uu In traditional view, the woman is merely a tool for carrying on the family line.
@@zhaoli1055yes, how they are treated clearly proves this 😢
@@PalemSetia-xc5uu They want them broken down so they can shape them into the daughter-in-law they want, the goal is to train them into compliance.
Liang Mei Rong and Huang Shu Hong broke my heart to tears!!!!
Just heartbreaking... as is often the case worldwide, it is females who suffer due to the actions of males (the government officials who instigated such laws and conditions were all male. That a son was worth more than a daughter.). My heart soared for the one father who is fighting to find his daughter, taken without his knowledge, and he raised his son to know of his sister, and is helping to search. I hope all that wish to find their parents are able to do so in this lifetime ❤
This is really heartbreaking.
Thank you for this documentary though.
My heart goes out to all these woman who are obviously so traumatised by the fact that their own parents did not want them and they were merely bought by the foster parents simply as goods. I want to just give them all a huge hug and tell them they are beautiful human beings worthy of love, respect and pride.
Very emotional. I pray that these women and parents find closure.
My birth parents had 6 girls, 3 boys. Of course, the family kept the boys and gave away four of us girls. I was the last girl born in 1953 and was adopted by a couple from Philadelphia who had a son. Then my adoptive family had a girl in 1954. I always knew I was different from the other two, but wasn’t told until I was 19 and preparing to move out that I had been adopted at birth. I understand why Mainland China needed to implement the one child policy. Unfortunately, when couples not only in China but worldwide prefer male children to female children it causes an imbalance in the population years later. Not enough women for the thousands of men seeking wives. When I was 16 my mother tried to tie me to who I believed was my first cousin Bobby. I was disgusted, thinking she wanted me with my cousin. Then she told me that Bobby was “adopted.” I told her that Bobby should know that he is adopted. Of course, Bobby knew I was the adopted child. My mother insisted that he not be told; she messed with my head a lot back then to steer me towards who she wanted me to be with. My adoptive mother died in 1987; my adoptive father in 1996. My siblings, the natural children divided his assets between themselves.
I've heard that scenario before of the natural children cutting the adopted child out of their parents' assets. Just shows what they value, money more than love.
@@lindabrown0 My son heard my adoptive siblings talking about my mother’s jewelry and dad’s stock assets and immediately cut ties with his aunt and uncle. He has never told me what he heard them discussing but it was disturbing enough for him to leave the family.
I don't prefer male children, girls are much better
The old lady broker is still Shameless,no Remorse at all.Hopefully she'll ask for her forgiveness while still alive.Praying that these abandoned daughters will find their parents,family especially Happiness and Peace.More blessings to the people exerting too much effort for these abandoned children.God bless you!Greetings from Phillippines!❤❤❤
I wouldn’t say completely shameless. Her choice of industry and morality to do it and keep doing it yes, but she kept a detailed record of each baby that passed through her hands and even aided one family taking them door to door in villages to relocate their daughter. That’s not someone without shame.
It's a horrific thing to be involved in, but she probably saved many baby girls from dying of starvation and exposure. I don't know her motives.
My heart goes out to women sold from birth to become fostered brides, enduring unimaginable hardships and trauma. Traditional beliefs and the one-child policy worsened their plight. No one should suffer this fate.
I am crying so much by the end of the documentary. This is not fair. This is truly not fair.
I am very thankful I had a very strong mother. My dad was imprisoned by the Japanese during World War 2. My mother said we were so poor that there was no milk for my 2nd sister. My mother fed her very diluted rice porridge water. A neighbour who was childless, asked my mother to give this sister to her. My mother refused, saying this child was born into my family. She would live or die in this family. My mom went on to have 5 more children, a total of 4 boys and 4 girls. We were dirt poor but every child was treated the same. We all went to schools, to educational levels of our own capability. Thank god for a strong Hakka woman.
Mother to two abandoned children. I think of their birth mothers often . I hope they always know they are loved.
My heart breaks for all these rejected girls who have done no wrong other than being born a girl. I am the father of two girls who I would never give away for any reason. They have both been to university where they became certified teachers earning more than I ever have. I cherish them more than anything else in this world and they have always known they are my number one concern. I have also been a stand in dad for 6 or seven other girls who have not had a father in their life and have always been the father for them whenever they needed one.
Thank you for promoting the truth of this sad situation. You will unfortunately never find every missing link for these girls, but every one you find is a blessing.