How to Read Body Language to Get What You Want: 6 Simple Psychological Tricks to Be More Confident
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- Опубликовано: 28 сен 2024
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Do you want to know how to talk to anyone with ease and confidence?
In this episode, you will learn science-backed psychological tricks to be more successful, charismatic, and influential today.
Vanessa Van Edwards is the founder of The Science of People (@ScienceOfPeople), a behavior lab that studies high achievers and the science of confidence and body language.
Her research proves that anyone can learn these practical skills and become a more successful person by using the same simple habits that almost every high achiever has.
Whether you want to be a better leader, land your dream job, achieve big goals, or align your life with what you want, this is the episode for you.
Registration for Mel's signature 6-month live coaching program, Launch with Mel Robbins, is closed.
Go to www.melrobbins.... to jump on the waitlist for the 2025 course.
For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page: www.melrobbins....
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I’m just your friend. I am not a licensed therapist, and this podcast is NOT intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional. Got it? Good. I’ll see you in the next episode.
In this episode:
00:00 Intro
04:47: The shortcuts high achievers take to communicate effectively.
05:32: The mistake most people make when working on their goals.
08:08: These relationships are the most toxic ones.
13:34: What makes some kids more popular than others will surprise you.
15:41:How to make your friendships stronger.
20:29: People who make mistakes are more likable.
24:47: How your toes give you away when you’re in a group.
26:13: Do this when you walk into a room to appear more confident.
34:23: Why your office chair should have arm rests and swivel.
39:12: Here’s why you are more likely to believe gestures than words.
42:21: How to stop using vocal fry or get someone else to stop doing it.
44:07: Use these words to set your team up for success.
49:11: What to add to your calendar every day to keep you motivated.
51:08: What are the best conversation starters?
56:53: How other people’s fear is contagious.
1:01:12: The worst place to stand in a room when you’re at a party.
1:04:53: How to figure out what you’re really good at.
1:14:41: What do highly effective people do at the end of the day?
#confidence #confident #bodylanguage
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This is my favorite pod cast. It’s an extremely a valuable addition to life’s tool belt.
I heard Vanessa speak at the Global Leadership summit in 2022 to over 200K people around the world. She is even more impactful in person. She demonstrates everything she shares. Great job!
Hi Alyssa! Oh thank you for your kind words! That means a lot to me! 🥺🥰
Wow, I needed this confidence tip- for years!!!!!!!!!!
Mel! You have helped me so much! Much love to you! Thank you for being YOU!
This is one of my favorite guests/episodes/ so helpful! Thank you! 🎉
I live alone and work remotely. I get no social interaction during the week and do more on the weekends. ANY social interaction is good for me. I like it when I take a walk and someone waves at me.
I’m waving at you and smiling at you through the internet. I hope this comment brings you a moment of ❤
I like interactions, too, but I have a real problem being around people who are constantly staring at their phones and not talking to me or others. It's tricky being out in public.
👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼👋🏼♥️🇨🇦🫶🏻❤️🌸🍁Have a wonderful day
Love this. Shes adorable and could listen to these two all day!
Aww Thank you so much! 🥰
❤❤❤❤❤ thank you for making me feel more normal and comfortable crying and then laughing while watching this beautiful episode 😂
Loved this episode so much!!!
Glad you did! Thank you for listening! 🙌
Thank you, Mel & Vanessa for this insightful & applicable content! ❤
You're most welcome! 🥰
Mel, you have such a great speaking style. I love your energy and compassion!
This has been my favorite episode I think I’ve ever seen… thank you I appreciate you so much
Aww Thank you so much! 😍
Vanessa is powerfully, passionately and positively contagious! ✨✨✨Thank you Mel for spreading such GOOD stuff!
Love this❤ Thank you Mel❤
This is the BEST episode I’ve ever heard! Thank you Mel, thank you Vanessa I needed to hear some of this not only to remind myself how well I’m doing but to know what more I CAN do
You are amazing Mel and Vanessa! Oh my Goodness… I’m impressed with your empowerment and knowledge. Thank you girls ! ❤❤
What an incredible episode!!! Can't wait to share it!!!
Oh thank you so much!!!
Thia was an amazing podcast!! One of my favorite !! Thanks Mel!!
This is quite possibly one of the most interesting and helpful podcast I have listened to. It’s so good that I sent it to my boss and asked if we can have a team building activity with others on our team. I especially liked the part about how to be more productive and I plan on using it going forward.
Mel, I’m obsessed with your podcast. I love your energy ❤
Marry don't be silly
Hi Dear Mel, i'm a Persian girl living in Germany since 2015. with 26 yo i immgrated alone , studied and now im working as a Manager and all in German Language. eventhogh my German is sooo soof but i am not confident at all to talk in Germany when native people are there , but i talk perfect german when non-Germans are around, i am soooo nervous to talk german on the phone like even i get heart bits with every ring at work, and i donn feel confident even iam really doing great! it would be great if you will talk about the ppl who are working and living with 3 or more languages how to be confident and how to talk and donn be shy .. i am really struggeling with being not native!! i love youre videos.. thank you so much for helping all ppl around the world❤
I am a native German and I would love to help you speaking confidently to German natives ❤
Sounds like you are doing a great job. Most people are understanding when you are not a native speaker but I admire anyone who can work in a different language. You need to conquer your fears - what's the worst that can happen?
I love it.
And I would like to hear about how to embrace imperfections in order to be happier, specially when you have a physical disability.
Thank you Mel! Thank you Vanessa! I admire Vanessa she is very well at explaining things. Looking back at how she was before her career change it is inspiring 💕
Boy do I get it about feeling drained after small talk. I feel energized by smart stimulating talk
Too good! Love this episode a lot. Learned a lot!
This was really good. Made some mental notes to myself
This was such a beautiful conversation. I took away an incredible amount of inspiration.
I love these two ladies!
Oh thank you so much!!!
Amazing from the Start
I do the steeple with my hands when I am in my extended staff meetings and it feels great!
Thank you Mel, I enjoyed the podcast with you and Vanessa, and I don’t just like you both I also Love you Mel and Vanessa and I mean it 💋👍🏻❤️🙏🌹
Great information! Introvert IT geek that is now in Tech Pre-sales. Holy Guac! Thanks ladies!! 😆
Soooo good, Mel Robbins!!❤
The best vídeo ever!! ❤❤
what an amazing podcast. THank you! I agree with you,Mel. Venessa is a relly interesting research! I just jumped from hopelessness to the gratification❤❤❤
Amazing, thank you Mel and Vanessa❤❤❤❤❤
R u jullie rodrix
The best episode ever!!!!
Love love love this - helpful in so many ways
THANK YOU
@mel I am driving and listening.. and keeping up. Please STOP interruptig Vanessa to de describe the same thing she just did. (Power pose, steepling) just let her talk! We ARE getting it!
My two idols ❤❤ Thank you Mel! I love this episode so much! 😍
Oh my God! I LOVE YOU BOTH. Thank you❤
Thanks!
This is amazing -soooo helpful!
HAHAHA I rolled my eyes when she asked the question “what’s your story?” HAHAHA 🤣
This is soo good! Thx
Oh thank you so much!!!
This is so good. 😮😮😮
Oooo I love the body language eps!! 🎉
I love this.
Mel I love your lists!
BRILLIANT ❤
I love Vanessa. You are so fun to watch. Love your books but I think it would be a greater video book LOL I wonder if you coach Kamela Harris. :D
Thank you for this.
I love this research but maybe the fear isn't caught but scent is primal and instinctual sensed.
2 amazing women together....our life toolkit ❤❤
Oh. My. Gawd. This is AMAZING, and I am only 14 minutes into it!!
Thank you Mel ❤
I LOVE HER
When standing and talking to a group, or a person, do you put space in your arms to look bigger? how? There is no arm chair . Thank you!
So mean to listen to learn from this
I LOVE YOU TOO MEL!!!
Love her, and you!!💜💜
Love this podcast. Mell is amazing 🤩 I also recently made a video about "Practicing Body Language Basics" in my "21-Day Confidence Building Challenge" series on my channel. Learning body language for confidence is one big part of evolving yourself into a powerful human being!
Yes ❤ I love to tell people I like them
Great, now I’m going to be staring at toes now😂❤
Love this episode ❤
I love you ❤
All yeah mel I'm undefeated
I loved the video. I learnt a lot. Thank you. I would add that highly influential people is not the same as successful or hardworking people because Ellon Musk who for me is the brightest mind of our generation is terrible with body language communication. .What do you think?
Van Edwards is confusing ambivalence and indifference. Ambivalence is actually the opposite: you strongly love and hate at once. It's paradoxical.
I like this lady
Fav. 😊
Thank you for definition how u spell it though
A million of us just looked like we were saying “ I don’t know “ 😂😂
First! 4.25.2024 02:40 PDT
I will never get Mr. Burns out of my head. I can see myself drumming instead of steepling while mumbling "excellent" lol. maybe as a joke to lighten the mood
13:10
❤❤❤❤
❤
L
I love u women. And guys thanks Vanessa 2
Yeah people nowadays are social but you goy to he careful to choose who you speak with
❤
I got a gift
Great video, Talk slower🎉
My husband and his family are introverts... I am not. 😅
I swear Vanessa hasn't aged in a decade.
It’s the uncomfortable feeling that I believe we all have a problem with…
My story is long !
Tell me your sad story
Nimbu ko soch Rakhi hogi nimbu ko yahi
Introverts can be very assertive. Introversion isn't shyness; it's an inward focus of energy and attention.
Omgosh thank you! I came here to say the same thing. I can’t stand people using introversion and shyness interchangeably. They have nothing to do with each other.
I’m introverted and have zero shyness. And when smart podcasters get this wrong it just continues the misunderstanding. I tell people I’m introverted and they laugh, because they think if I’m not shy then I must not be introverted and I’m joking. Can we please just get this right? Introversion has to do with how you get your energy, that’s it. It has nothing to do with assertiveness or shyness.
Anyhow this is a huge pet peeve for me and I’d hoped that Mel would get it right, or her guests would. But since the majority of humans are extroverts, they don’t even begin to comprehend introversion, but just talk about it from an outside perspective.
I particularly dislike it when people ask if I want to just talk one on one since I’m an introvert. That’s a nightmare for an introvert! I’d MUCH rather be in a large group where I would have to contribute less and pay attention less attentively, than talking with one person, one on one. Going for coffee one on one can drain an introvert for an entire week!
Anyhow, thanks for speaking up for the rest of us introverted minority ❤️ Whenever a specialist guest starts saying introverts are shy etc. I stop listening. So I don’t actually know the rest of what was said in this interview lol
Indeed! In fact today I was talking to a friend about how introverts choose the conversations they make and don’t just keep chattering their way out.
Being a serial chatterbox, I would love to acquire this skill! ✨
Amazing episode loved it🔥
Thanks! 🙌🏼
Thanks!
❤
Wow❤ one of prophet Muhammad advice's ..if you love (like)some one ..go and tell him or her . We are not talking romance here though 😊I like you both ❤
I LOVE THIS PODCAST! IT'S SO REAL! LOVE YOU MEL! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!❤🎶❤️🎶
Oh yas!!! I love this collab Mel! Super enjoyed it! 😍
Wonderful podcast. Now about likeability. I like people and I'm nice to everyone all the time! I do things to elevate them. but I don't get anything in return. I know love and like unconditionally but... Seriously it's jaded and one-sided now that I prefer to be alone and like myself. Idk honestly dunno. I wish I can find my kinda people maybe. Would love to hear someone's take on this matter. All in all a fab podcast. Thanks so much Mel and Vanessa❤
It's disappointing if it isn't reciprocated. There needs to be give and take. You seem like a good person but maybe don't try so hard. If someone mistreats you, stand up for yourself: they will respect you more. Good luck!
You could be sending a subconscious message of neediness, too. People pick up on it even when we aren’t aware and it pushes them away. I have had to do a lot of work in this area because of trauma wounding causing me to seek acceptance and approval. I’ve read both her books and they are outstanding, but the tools work best when combined with deep work on our subconscious programming.
Come from the heart and total authenticity.
@@asdf7711 thankyou I'd definitely stand up for myself and I'm not a people pleaser. So these people i mentioned are my close friends and family. So yeah it sucks a bit but... Okay. I'm practising self love and trying to just let them be as Mel says. Thank you for your kind words. I hope you have a wonderful week
@@akm17178 Dunno about that. It would be nice to be appreciated back. These are my people. My friends and family to begin with. But yeah. Maybe not. Maybe they only wanna put in meagre effort and I'm overly zealous and loving. I've been told I'm too kind/compassionate by strangers. Maybe it's just my nature now.
Damn. This was a great edition! So much actionable goodness! Introvert here….reporting my actions taken as an immediate result of listening to this podcast. Thank you, thank you!!!
1) updated the names of my calendar meetings to prime my day
2) bought Vanessa’s latest book
3) took copious notes to help me be better equipped for social settings
I love Vanessa! When I figured out that I am a recovering SA from her it was life changing!! 🙌🏼❤️
That's amazing!!! Thank you so much!! 😍🥰🥰🥰
Sorry, what is an SA?
I like both of you. I like the way Vanessa smiles. I like the way Mel listening attentively to Vanessa. I like Mel's strategical placement of Vanessa's books on the shelves. I am honest about my likes.
Ohhh wow! Thank you so much! 🥰💛
I like your comments (see what I did there!)
This is all very well and good but if the interviewer for a job for example puts themselves on a swivel arm rested chair and only gives you the option of a non swivel without arms chair - therefore they are saying from their body language, I'm in charge, you can't take up body space and I set the tone because you cant for example go in for an interview and claim what would have been the interviews chair.
I also mention this because of something Evy Poumpouras said to Lewis that during her interrogations, she makes sure she gets to sit on that swivel arm resting chair and purposely puts the individual on a chair that can't turn that only looks at her so immediately how is that perpetrator going to feel at all like I'm going to tell you whatever crime they've committed. Surely they'd know she's calling the shots, they're uncomfortable and they're not opening up because theyre so uncomfortable and like it's discussed here the shoulders could go up in this kind of setting to protect themselves because in that kind of setting because they are anxious as they don't get to choose their chair.
It's like in schools if you've ever been in the principals or headmistress/masters office they'll have a swivel chair so they can take up space, a table in front of them so immediately its a formal setting and whoever comes and takes a seat won't have the option to have a good arm rested chair.
2 my favorite motivational women speakers in one room ❤❤ love you both! Great energy and tips before networking event that I am attending in just a few hours 🎉
You said the right thing @weronikakunka! 🥰 In one room! Lucky us… It was fantastic!!
U r my motivation😅
I love them!!
Me too