@@flamestoyershadowkill stargates were a beginning and end point, they still needed to place a device at both locations to link them so expanding the network was still done by getting there the hard way, even for the drastically more advanced races the portal tech was stolen from. what these guys had was portal tech that they could open to effectively random locations (presumably with some way to define environmental parameters, like at least sticking it in a gravity well of ~n strength or somesuch) they could use the portals freely and create them easily but actually figuring out where they were in relation to eachother was both exceedingly difficult and largely irrelevant to the point where apparently having a colony _in a different universe_ was mostly just a novelty to the guy they were interrogating...interviewing with chemical assistance? anyways the point I'm doing a terrible job of conveying is that it's a lot more like nether portals than stargates...though if I were putting it in minecraft terms I'd liken it more to hopping between servers or hitting that generate random seed button.
there's a bit of a disturbing twist to it too: any nanotech advanced enough to be functional is either at or _very_ near that level of advancement, everything after that is just refinements in user interface and development of practical applications
@@martinrwolfe yeahhhhh, plants are basically everywhere for a dam good reason...also directly responsible for multiple mass extinction events that make that famous meteorite look like a minor hiccup by comparison. there's only one difference I can think of off the top of my head that isn't just a quibble but it's kinda a big one: plants use light and water to eat carbon with a touch of help from trace elements, this is amazing because there's light in most solar systems and carbon and water just so happen to be some of the most common materials in the universe (outside of stars anyways) "Grey Goo" on the other hand uses _any_ energy it can incorporate to process _any_ material it contacts because the entire basis of it is that it can pretty much do whatever it wants to with chemistry. it is [plants] cranked up to 11 multiplied by [viruses] cranked up to 11 then allowed to process itself out exponentially as life is wont to do.
Oh, I liked this one. Aliens: "But you don't have FTL." Humans: "Nope, but we do have portal tech... only problem is we don't always know where we're going to end up when making a new gate..."
@@caveofskarzs1544 Thank you for reminding me of that scene. Kinda fits the heart attack the aliens were having when they learned about the gate tech. "You mean you can just TELEPORT!?"
hmm.. it would motivate some seriously different hardware development for ther military to , sure fleets is always needed... but when you have the portal option as a potential option to render blockades pointless.. things like ground to orbit weaponry at captial ship lvl gets a lot more value then it doess for a military where the lose of orbital superiority renders a planets resources or assets put on it grounded.. hmm
@@spacethings8773 is a texan..called space things.....space texas is confirmed :) and if you live in district 23...is brandon herrera an actual candidate or will he be scraping around 2% of votes at max?
Did you see Space Kentucky Ballistics video about how he blew up his phased plasma rifle in the 50 watt range while hunting aliens? Lucky to still be alive and selling his "put an arm in it" T-shirts.
@@popularopinion1 currently nursing 5 Bent ribs from a trafic accident. That depiction is pretty accurate and my kids think its hilarious to make me laugh
you are implying cave johnson isn't reasonable? He did turn a local bathroom fixtures company, into the second most powerful tech company know. Even then, the only reason it was second is that the government was throwing money hand over fist at black mesa, while giving aperture nothing because of one teleportation failure.
@@ArchivedFox And whose signature is stamped at the bottom of those plans? Cave Johnson is moderately effective but he is still detached from reality in some key areas
@@JeanLucCaptain I know some 40k people who...if they could find someone willing, would legit do this to an arm. There is already people out there testing RFID chip tech and implanting it in their body. Using it to start their car, unlock their house, turn on lights, have ID on them, even credit card payment info so they can swipe their palm at a card reader to pay. This all exists now. You can even do it yourself.
6:05 An over-powered communications laser. The planet's name is Ferrari in all of the spoken languages, and later it is revealed as not a cognate of "dirt". No scars of nuclear fallout. This isn't Earth, it's a colony world. I also liked how the invaders also took their time to gather intelligence and develop a coherent plan. Even though they did miss something that they didn't even consider accounting for. They also negotiated terms of engagement, and were able to negotiate terms of ceasefire that were trusted.
It seems as though this story is set in a Dark Forest type universe, since Crossack announced that some space-faring species just wipes out any potential life they find.
Regarding the title: when I was in Japan years ago I learned that the kanji for dirt is 土. So later I was trying to have a conversation that involved the planets with some Japanese who knew just a little English (though far more English than the few Japanese words I had learned), so I quickly drew a rough drawing of the sun and a few planets in the solar system, labeling the third planet 土. They were very confused, and one of them extended the drawing and put the label 土 on the planet with a ring around it. Now I was confused. It turns out that in Japanese they associate the kanji for dirt - 土 - with the planet Saturn. The kanji they associate with planet Earth is 水, which means Water. I'm not exactly sure what their reasoning is, but it does kind of make sense for an island nation on a planet whose surface is mostly covered by water to think that way. I know it's a science fiction trope that every planet would be called "dirt" in the native language. In fact, that's why I had made that attempt at communication, but the truth is that that trope doesn't even hold true on planet Water.
It's probably depends on the dominant culture and the Land to Water (or other fluid) ratio of the given homeworld, water worlds that have next to no land would probably take that as the name
The Japanese name for Earth is (地球; chikyuu ), which means earth globe. Its outside the 5 elemental planets, of which Mercury is the water planet and Saturn is the earth planet.
Even worse, if we look at "dirt" itself its core meaning is "excrement" look for "drieterije blues" for an example of artistic use of a contentinental cognate, that is not about EARTH, though one might describe it as "night soil", and the shift in meaning to a generic "unclean" thing seems to be unique to THAT island, YOU-KNOW and shifting that to primarily "Soil" or "Earth" seems to be a mainly a US thing... That a first contact alien could think that a typical Yankee English usage of a word would be UNIVERSAL, is a bit hard to accept, as most Terrans most certainly do not use a word with such a shitty origin for their home planet!
"...strength and stamina, suggesting they have a use it or lose or mentality" Actually, I'd suggest reading up on endurance hunting. We are stamina machines, not power; it's just that we aren't very in shape in modern society :)
The first methodology for human hunting was simply the longer you run the slower you die. The sooner you give up the more easy death will be. You don't need to race like a cheetah to catch something you just need to follow it long enough until it tires out to fall down and cry out to die. That kind of thing is sort of terrifying when you think about it. It's like every single human being technically had the power of the Terminator in them only we just don't use it
Humans weren't originally endurance hunters as that can only be done in conditions that allow it. It's a common misconception. You need certain conditions to track an animal. As well, that is incredibly energy inefficient. Endurance hunting is more of a recent thing, and the vast majority of humans can't do it. Historically, humans have always been ambush hunters. Hiding in a bush until an animal gets close enough to stab with or throw a spear is efficent and effective, and can be done by most people.
I kept expecting an "oh, oops. Sorry about the Assimilators, they kind of got away on us" from the humans before the end of this story, but it never happened. I'm still going to choose to believe they were some rogue faction of humans because that's just SO us.
The attackers were not interested in killing the locals to kill the locals and they really didn't want to create a vengeance based subculture in the new subordinate race that might stew for generations cheerfully groveling at their feet till they were in position to completely eradicate the conquerors. The humans allowed to evacuate the noncombatants leaving only the natural born warriors to be harmed by honorable combat which they won and got some seriously nice loot in the process felt no need for justice. This made it despite the grand scale a limited war for limited goals. Not overly unlike the mercenary wars of 15th century Italy.
@@calvingreene90 Yeah! There's another comment saying 'the humans were way too friendly' but this was a sort of a low stakes war. The humans had relatively easy evacuation access and this might be their land but it isn't necessarily their 'home'land.
@@DarthGibberish the war in this story ended in a stalemate while Japan got utterly and completely defeated in ww2 and then it was remade into what ever the victorious side wished. The Japan of today is unrecognisable in comparison to the Japan of ww2
@@stalwartteakettlepotato9879 the japan of 1900 is unrecognizable compared to the Japan of 1800. The Japan of 1800 is unrecognizable compared to the Japan of 1400. The aliens in this case bombed pearl harbor, then realized that they had fucked up and immediately apologized and gave the US a major tech transfer. Our hypothetical aliens are smarter than IRL Japan was.
The aliens allowed all the non-combatants to evacuate leaving only the natural born wariors, they didn't commit anything that could be interpreted as an atrocity, they treated prisoners reasonably well. Why would the people be particularly mad?
For those curious, the Voice description didn't fit so it was cut. The voice looks like a ghostly, hauntingly beautiful human, not actually translucent, but vaguely ethereal. The myths in question are those of the "fair folk".
I like this one a lot. Lot of the time the aliens feel downright incompetent. Here they seem fairly competent and fleshed out, but humans manage to beat them out in a creative way.
@@purpledevilr7463 it would not matter if it were an English world. All that matters is who is speaking about it. The words themselves are nonsense. Our understanding of what each nonsensical group of noises is meant to represent is all that matters. So my planet isn't named dirt. I say dirt because it means not rocks, water, people, and everything else that is earth.
The absolute hilarity of slowly realizing the implications of their planet's name mixed with the knowledge that they were firing off long-range transmissions earlier. I'm just sure the humans were more than happy to be attacked by an alien that engaged in some pre-war negotiations.
I actually really like this one.Every other HFY is that humans are better than machines,or wargods,or plaguemasters,or immortal.This one is a lot simpler,showed that the aliens weren't egotistical assholes,made me symathise with them,and ended peacably!It's a great story!
9 minutes in and i already predict shenanigans. And aliens seem refreshingly sharp, too, not the usual choice of maniacs, morons and stagnant slowpokes.
I've been loving these stories. Just pure sci-fi goodness with human ingenuity. Sometimes a twist, sometimes inspiring, many confusing. But in a good way.
This story is great. Despite some honestly very understandable hiccoughs, I am amazed that this was apparently one long, uncut take. It must have taken forever to get to this point. Excellent narration.
how did they miss the background radiation from our nuclear tests? we can literally date wine, by reading the radioactive isotopes in it. Edit: forgot to delete this comment, figured it out after they mentioned the planets name. However the conversation is good so I will leave it up.
I noticed that too, and while I thought that didn't make sense I tucked that aside while continuing on. As soon as they said the planet was called Ferrari the game was up though.
I assumed that this must take place far further in the future - far enough the radiation byproducts had actually decayed, before realizing it couldn't be earth.
"Even if your dragons are...hyperbolic...they still explain a lot." I'm struggling to understand the usage of the word hyperbolic in this context. I like to think i have an understanding of the meaning of that word, something being hyperbolic would be in the shape of a hyperbola. Hyperbolic space would find two straight lines curving away from each other. I don't see however a dragon would be hyperbolic. Could someone explain for me? Perhaps a different word was intended? Maybe it was supposed to be hyperbole, which is to exaggerate? Edit: I just realized hyperbolic can mean either what I was thinking, or used as another tense of hyperbole. I feel kinda dumb now.
This isn't meant to be patronizing, I just really like hyperbolic as an adjective because its fun to have a _graph_ explaining the meaning of a _word._ So I wanna share. I believe that using hyperbolic as an adjective refers to either how a hyperbole approaches but never reaches its center point, or how it rapidly grows the further it gets from that center. So it's potentially both "never accurate" and "blown way out of proportion". Language is fun.
I think you both are conflating hyperbole with parabola hyperbole is defined as "Exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally" via Wikipedia
Several stories wrapped into one! I'm actually glad that the alien Admiral was promoted following his defeat for demonstrating honour and successfully negotiating a cease fire. Hopefully his new role will help both his people and humanity to coexist for many galactic cycles to come!
@@dannybryant1114 I mean they are; disease is the main thing reducing the human lifespan. This is just sexist which is jarring coming from sci-fi aliens gathering information about us.
@@darraghtalorgan1905 as noted in the work itself, humanity had advanced in medical science further. We can't assume that disease has not become practically minimized as an issue. With no outside influences but our species tendencies, then the general recklessness of youth of both sexes would be a quantifiable cause lowering the life expectancy. Any look at teenage/young adults deaths from reckless behavior will see a larger portion male than female. So it's not sexist. I don't understand your arguments.
@@rakkel6061 You're making a big assumption here, based on something that wasn't in the original material. Disease comes under environmental and hereditary. We know that from the work itself because: a; it specifically mentions that life expectancy is effected by environment which can increase by 50%~. That means if life expectancy is 50, then a good environment would allow that person to extend it to 75 (this is currently what it is though that 50% is increasing with our advancements), and b; advances in medicine and extending life expectancy minimizes the cause of any actions from younger people as they make up a smaller amount of the population as less people die. I completely agree with your point that recklessness is higher in teenagers, and specifically teenage boys, I'm not denying that. Differences between the sexes doesn't automatically mean sexism. It is however sexist to point at teenage boys as the main cause for human death. Try gender swapping the roles and see how you feel then, if girls were said to be the main cause for death. My problem with this isn't really that it's sexist towards men, you accept that in a lot of modern media; my problem is that it's stupid and makes these aliens seem both stupid and incompetent. The aliens that are invading earth are trying to gather information for a risk assessment before they invade. The aliens then ignore all major causes of violence and death to focus on a minority. You understand that this is like fishing in the ocean and then moving to a puddle to get more fish. These aliens really came and looked at the planet and blamed the majority of human death on young boys. I'm sorry, but it's sexist to demonise a gender like that and crueler even to aim for the more vulnerable ones of that gender. That's one line in the story that popped out to me because it was so strange and out of whack with the quality of the rest of it. I really enjoyed the story but that part was cringy.
@@trli7117 Wait, really? actually, come to think of it, where DID I learn the word "farrier" from? It likely wasn't in any school-assigned reading. So that means only people who read the right books or watch the right TV shows would even encounter the word. Trippy.
So when there is a power blip the portals close…. What’s the casualty rates on these things cos am gona guess there’s been a lot of incidences of humans being cut in half
"Somewhere over on the other side of the Great Attractor" So, the planet Ferrari is either on the other side of the Laniakea Supercluster or possibly in the Shapely?
I may have missed something, so i cant tell what laureliana is supposed to look like. I know she looks like some "transparent" mythological creature, but which one exactly?
„There‘s no evidence that they ever tried to weaponize that technology.“ Bwahaha, when speaking about humanity you better look again when getting to that conclusion. There‘s nothing we didn‘t try and succeed to turn into a weapon.
Not more then 2:30 and the sci part had already left the sci-fi. We actually have more hair follicles the gorillia but the are are so small its very hard to see them, ever really extreme goosebumps, literally skin-bumps upon skin-bumps. Come on writers fact check yourselves. Its misinformation like this that led the way to fake news, and also mythbusters so its not all bad.
![YoungBoy Never Broke Again - Sneaking [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/1ILUps2zDFU/mqdefault.jpg)
Aliens: We use FTL tech to get around our galaxy!
Humans: We made *NETHER PORTALS*
Mean stargates
@@flamestoyershadowkill stargates were a beginning and end point, they still needed to place a device at both locations to link them so expanding the network was still done by getting there the hard way, even for the drastically more advanced races the portal tech was stolen from.
what these guys had was portal tech that they could open to effectively random locations (presumably with some way to define environmental parameters, like at least sticking it in a gravity well of ~n strength or somesuch) they could use the portals freely and create them easily but actually figuring out where they were in relation to eachother was both exceedingly difficult and largely irrelevant to the point where apparently having a colony _in a different universe_ was mostly just a novelty to the guy they were interrogating...interviewing with chemical assistance?
anyways the point I'm doing a terrible job of conveying is that it's a lot more like nether portals than stargates...though if I were putting it in minecraft terms I'd liken it more to hopping between servers or hitting that generate random seed button.
@@evernewb2073 Isekai portal?
@@zedantXiang _random_ isekai portal ^_^
@@evernewb2073 A nether portal is an isekai portal
"Any sufficiently-advanced nanotech is indistinguishable from biology"
Oh, now _there's_ a genius twist on Clarke's third law xD
there's a bit of a disturbing twist to it too: any nanotech advanced enough to be functional is either at or _very_ near that level of advancement, everything after that is just refinements in user interface and development of practical applications
@@evernewb2073 Well Earth did undergo and is still undergoing a Green Goo situation. Functionaly no difference between that and a Grey Goo situation.
@@martinrwolfe yeahhhhh, plants are basically everywhere for a dam good reason...also directly responsible for multiple mass extinction events that make that famous meteorite look like a minor hiccup by comparison.
there's only one difference I can think of off the top of my head that isn't just a quibble but it's kinda a big one: plants use light and water to eat carbon with a touch of help from trace elements, this is amazing because there's light in most solar systems and carbon and water just so happen to be some of the most common materials in the universe (outside of stars anyways) "Grey Goo" on the other hand uses _any_ energy it can incorporate to process _any_ material it contacts because the entire basis of it is that it can pretty much do whatever it wants to with chemistry. it is [plants] cranked up to 11 multiplied by [viruses] cranked up to 11 then allowed to process itself out exponentially as life is wont to do.
When was that?
Thats been around for awhile tho.
Oh, I liked this one.
Aliens: "But you don't have FTL."
Humans: "Nope, but we do have portal tech... only problem is we don't always know where we're going to end up when making a new gate..."
Reminds me of that GTA scene:
"What kind of animal do you think I am, no I didn't kill him!"
"Oh thank God."
". . . But I did kidnap his wife!"
@@caveofskarzs1544 Thank you for reminding me of that scene. Kinda fits the heart attack the aliens were having when they learned about the gate tech. "You mean you can just TELEPORT!?"
Portal to the Blender Dimension? - Rick Sanchez
hmm.. it would motivate some seriously different hardware development for ther military to , sure fleets is always needed... but when you have the portal option as a potential option to render blockades pointless..
things like ground to orbit weaponry at captial ship lvl gets a lot more value then it doess for a military where the lose of orbital superiority renders a planets resources or assets put on it grounded.. hmm
I would have just tossed a copy of cowboy bebop lol
"How can a farmer defeat 40 invaders?" "Welcome to demolition ranch here in space texas. Today: how many alien invaders to stop a .50 cal"
As a Texan I approve
@@spacethings8773 is a texan..called space things.....space texas is confirmed :)
and if you live in district 23...is brandon herrera an actual candidate or will he be scraping around 2% of votes at max?
Did you see Space Kentucky Ballistics video about how he blew up his phased plasma rifle in the 50 watt range while hunting aliens? Lucky to still be alive and selling his "put an arm in it" T-shirts.
No way Demo Ranch would only take out 40...
Farmer in the interrogation: "heheh it hurts to laugh"
Ha ha, ow. Ha ha, ow
@@popularopinion1 Is it bad that I heard the same line when I read ThatGuy's comment?
@@popularopinion1 currently nursing 5 Bent ribs from a trafic accident. That depiction is pretty accurate and my kids think its hilarious to make me laugh
"How can a farmer defeat 40 invaders?" "Welcome to demolition ranch here in space texas. Today: how many alien invaders to stop a .50 cal"
Dude has either Texan, Slavic or Vietnamese in his family LOL.
Me, early on: Well this is another "invading Earth" story
Me, part way in: Well shit those Aliens dun goofed
Humans we are terrifying and yet understandable
As soon as they said we hadn't weaponized nuclear fission I knew their intel was faulty
@@Shadow-gc6le The hilarious part was when they thought there were no signs.
@@VelaiciaCreator Yup. There were no signs of nuclear testing, because all that testing was done back on the homeworld.
@@SuperiorPosterior Right, the initial description threw me off massively.
The universe in which Aperture Science gets a reasonable Cave Johnson
you are implying cave johnson isn't reasonable? He did turn a local bathroom fixtures company, into the second most powerful tech company know. Even then, the only reason it was second is that the government was throwing money hand over fist at black mesa, while giving aperture nothing because of one teleportation failure.
@@ArchivedFox I'll let Glados answer that one
@@r.connor9280 i dont think I trust the malfunctioning AI that killed hundreds of humans to feed her addiction.
@@ArchivedFox And whose signature is stamped at the bottom of those plans?
Cave Johnson is moderately effective but he is still detached from reality in some key areas
@@r.connor9280 true.
So, in a Galaxy far away, somebody created a Borg faction in a game…then cosplaying fans started being Borg…yeah, I can see it.
"I BELEIVE IN THE SANCTITY OF THE MACHINE! PRIASE THE OMNISIAH! random Larper after riping your arm off and replacing it with unnecessary surgery.
@@JeanLucCaptain must be an ork doc
@@JeanLucCaptain I know some 40k people who...if they could find someone willing, would legit do this to an arm.
There is already people out there testing RFID chip tech and implanting it in their body. Using it to start their car, unlock their house, turn on lights, have ID on them, even credit card payment info so they can swipe their palm at a card reader to pay. This all exists now. You can even do it yourself.
Evil larpers.
And then they find out the Assimilators are actually a human faction of gamers.
6:05 An over-powered communications laser. The planet's name is Ferrari in all of the spoken languages, and later it is revealed as not a cognate of "dirt". No scars of nuclear fallout. This isn't Earth, it's a colony world.
I also liked how the invaders also took their time to gather intelligence and develop a coherent plan. Even though they did miss something that they didn't even consider accounting for. They also negotiated terms of engagement, and were able to negotiate terms of ceasefire that were trusted.
I honestly see humanity a bit happier to ally with them. They didn't start a war crime contest.
@@CHRF-55457 And probably will be BFFs
These guys might be some of my favorite HFY aliens because they aren’t idiots brain-melted by the funny monkeys
The main plus for the aliens was the fact that they negotiated the terms of engagement
It seems as though this story is set in a Dark Forest type universe, since Crossack announced that some space-faring species just wipes out any potential life they find.
Regarding the title: when I was in Japan years ago I learned that the kanji for dirt is 土.
So later I was trying to have a conversation that involved the planets with some Japanese who knew just a little English (though far more English than the few Japanese words I had learned), so I quickly drew a rough drawing of the sun and a few planets in the solar system, labeling the third planet 土. They were very confused, and one of them extended the drawing and put the label 土 on the planet with a ring around it. Now I was confused.
It turns out that in Japanese they associate the kanji for dirt - 土 - with the planet Saturn. The kanji they associate with planet Earth is 水, which means Water.
I'm not exactly sure what their reasoning is, but it does kind of make sense for an island nation on a planet whose surface is mostly covered by water to think that way.
I know it's a science fiction trope that every planet would be called "dirt" in the native language. In fact, that's why I had made that attempt at communication, but the truth is that that trope doesn't even hold true on planet Water.
It's probably depends on the dominant culture and the Land to Water (or other fluid) ratio of the given homeworld, water worlds that have next to no land would probably take that as the name
The Japanese name for Earth is (地球; chikyuu ), which means earth globe. Its outside the 5 elemental planets, of which Mercury is the water planet and Saturn is the earth planet.
@@redbeard4889 - interesting. I guess something was lost in translation. Thanks.
Even worse, if we look at "dirt" itself its core meaning is "excrement" look for "drieterije blues" for an example of artistic use of a contentinental cognate, that is not about EARTH, though one might describe it as "night soil", and the shift in meaning to a generic "unclean" thing seems to be unique to THAT island, YOU-KNOW and shifting that to primarily "Soil" or "Earth" seems to be a mainly a US thing... That a first contact alien could think that a typical Yankee English usage of a word would be UNIVERSAL, is a bit hard to accept, as most Terrans most certainly do not use a word with such a shitty origin for their home planet!
It's one of the funny things about Earth, if seen from space it's mostly a water planet.
stargate when when the SGC finally revealed the secret to the public.
SEND IN THE PROMETHEUS
@@dreadedpixel9022 that got destroyed.
Their is a fanfic i know that does this. pretty good read.
You hear Amazon bought the series and it looks like we're finally getting a new show?
@@Renigade16 they better do it justice
"...strength and stamina, suggesting they have a use it or lose or mentality"
Actually, I'd suggest reading up on endurance hunting. We are stamina machines, not power; it's just that we aren't very in shape in modern society :)
The line is, "Use it or lose it Physiology." i.e. peak physical performance requires conditioning and maintenance... i.e. 'being in-shape'.
@@mollymcallister1671 Aaah, I remember having heard that as "psychology", and even so I interpreted it as a short term "use it or lose it"
Agreed, I get a raised heart rate walking to my car to drive to the food store. That is my cardio for the day. 🙂
The first methodology for human hunting was simply the longer you run the slower you die. The sooner you give up the more easy death will be. You don't need to race like a cheetah to catch something you just need to follow it long enough until it tires out to fall down and cry out to die. That kind of thing is sort of terrifying when you think about it. It's like every single human being technically had the power of the Terminator in them only we just don't use it
Humans weren't originally endurance hunters as that can only be done in conditions that allow it. It's a common misconception. You need certain conditions to track an animal. As well, that is incredibly energy inefficient. Endurance hunting is more of a recent thing, and the vast majority of humans can't do it.
Historically, humans have always been ambush hunters. Hiding in a bush until an animal gets close enough to stab with or throw a spear is efficent and effective, and can be done by most people.
Growing up on a deathworld makes people crazy. Innovative and reckless lets you live longer, all told.
I kept expecting an "oh, oops. Sorry about the Assimilators, they kind of got away on us" from the humans before the end of this story, but it never happened. I'm still going to choose to believe they were some rogue faction of humans because that's just SO us.
VR entheusiasts turned cybernetically enhanced humans, turned basically the borg. :P
They're just really hardcore Borg Larpers, so hardcore they became the ACTUAL Borg...
The Assimilators are from the aliens, not humanity
ya we would create the borg by accident.
I was getting echoes of "X Universe" and the Xenon by the end, lol
this was by far the most cordial war I've ever heard.
The attackers were not interested in killing the locals to kill the locals and they really didn't want to create a vengeance based subculture in the new subordinate race that might stew for generations cheerfully groveling at their feet till they were in position to completely eradicate the conquerors.
The humans allowed to evacuate the noncombatants leaving only the natural born warriors to be harmed by honorable combat which they won and got some seriously nice loot in the process felt no need for justice.
This made it despite the grand scale a limited war for limited goals. Not overly unlike the mercenary wars of 15th century Italy.
@@calvingreene90 Yeah! There's another comment saying 'the humans were way too friendly' but this was a sort of a low stakes war. The humans had relatively easy evacuation access and this might be their land but it isn't necessarily their 'home'land.
And this is how the human made there first friend. Like Britain and America style, guess something’s never change.
The humans are way to friendly to a imperialist power that attacked them unprovoked
To be fair, they communicated with what was their equivalent of the UN for that planet, so of course the man was friendly enough.
Have you read the history of Japan during the 20th century?
@@DarthGibberish the war in this story ended in a stalemate while Japan got utterly and completely defeated in ww2 and then it was remade into what ever the victorious side wished. The Japan of today is unrecognisable in comparison to the Japan of ww2
@@stalwartteakettlepotato9879 the japan of 1900 is unrecognizable compared to the Japan of 1800. The Japan of 1800 is unrecognizable compared to the Japan of 1400.
The aliens in this case bombed pearl harbor, then realized that they had fucked up and immediately apologized and gave the US a major tech transfer.
Our hypothetical aliens are smarter than IRL Japan was.
The aliens allowed all the non-combatants to evacuate leaving only the natural born wariors, they didn't commit anything that could be interpreted as an atrocity, they treated prisoners reasonably well. Why would the people be particularly mad?
What I expected: "Alien bugs, get 'em!"
What I got: "Oh shit, the Borg!!!"
For those curious, the Voice description didn't fit so it was cut. The voice looks like a ghostly, hauntingly beautiful human, not actually translucent, but vaguely ethereal. The myths in question are those of the "fair folk".
That was one of my top guesses, so thanks for confirming!
This is exactly what I came to the comments looking for. Thank you
Thanks!
hey fun fact ferrari comes from ferraro which means blacksmith and is a relatively common last name, so they basically named a planet "smith"
That is oddly hilarious. Kinda want a planet named after my family, although it would have the WILDEST luck.
This reminds me of the Titan After Earth movie (or commonly "Titan AE"). At the end, New Earth get the moniker of 'Planet BOB'.
I like this one a lot. Lot of the time the aliens feel downright incompetent. Here they seem fairly competent and fleshed out, but humans manage to beat them out in a creative way.
We didn't name our planet dirt. We call dirt earth, because that's what it is. If we lived on Mars, we'd call it Mars
I’d reckon that most would just call Mars dirt, dirt. It’d depend on Martian culture I guess.
@@purpledevilr7463 yes however, equipment like earth movers would be called something else. Probably something stupid
@@yepwhocares3541 might not even be an English word.
@@purpledevilr7463 it would not matter if it were an English world. All that matters is who is speaking about it. The words themselves are nonsense. Our understanding of what each nonsensical group of noises is meant to represent is all that matters. So my planet isn't named dirt. I say dirt because it means not rocks, water, people, and everything else that is earth.
@@yepwhocares3541 "ground pusher"
The absolute hilarity of slowly realizing the implications of their planet's name mixed with the knowledge that they were firing off long-range transmissions earlier.
I'm just sure the humans were more than happy to be attacked by an alien that engaged in some pre-war negotiations.
This was actually a more wholesome, peaceful ending than I expected. A nice story to narrate!
I actually really like this one.Every other HFY is that humans are better than machines,or wargods,or plaguemasters,or immortal.This one is a lot simpler,showed that the aliens weren't egotistical assholes,made me symathise with them,and ended peacably!It's a great story!
The Borg are a LARP-ing Club that got out of hand... I love it! That is now my official head cannon for the Borg origin... XD
I can tell its an older reading as your recent readings give the words more room to breath.
Great story, thanks for the reading.
"We need a new world to colonise!"
"Okay, boss... guys? Open the portal to hell. Let's see what we get this time..."
9 minutes in and i already predict shenanigans. And aliens seem refreshingly sharp, too, not the usual choice of maniacs, morons and stagnant slowpokes.
I wonder if there’s more of this story, if so I’d love to hear more of it
Agree
Sounds like it.
The attackers "blundered" into doing everything correct for a lasting peace.
I love how this also imply a that we found evidence of dragons being real
Just me or this story was ALL over the place.
it was like 2 stories mixed in one, two points of view withouth much conection
@@christhopervargas2275 it skipped details and lost its point often as well
I feel like this was originally much larger but had to get the editor's scalpel to get it down to size and all they had was a chainsaw.
Yeah dude
That ending was certainly.. the ending
The writer was trying to set up future story threads within this one.
Finally some world building, fantastic Id love to hear more
I've been loving these stories. Just pure sci-fi goodness with human ingenuity. Sometimes a twist, sometimes inspiring, many confusing. But in a good way.
This story is great. Despite some honestly very understandable hiccoughs, I am amazed that this was apparently one long, uncut take. It must have taken forever to get to this point. Excellent narration.
"The planet is called Ferrari"
Huh
Broom broom mufuggaaaaaa
@@mikedanielespeja6128 This comment made my day.
I was so confused when I heard that. Like where did THAT come from?
how did they miss the background radiation from our nuclear tests? we can literally date wine, by reading the radioactive isotopes in it.
Edit: forgot to delete this comment, figured it out after they mentioned the planets name. However the conversation is good so I will leave it up.
The planet they were invading was not Earth. There was no nuclear testing on that planet.
@@SYKRAL1 hmm I thought I deleted this comment.
I noticed that too, and while I thought that didn't make sense I tucked that aside while continuing on. As soon as they said the planet was called Ferrari the game was up though.
The planet was not Earth, the tips of it were Ferrari being a planet, only 12 languages, and the lack of 8000 nukes not flying at them.
I assumed that this must take place far further in the future - far enough the radiation byproducts had actually decayed, before realizing it couldn't be earth.
I'm imagining Crossack as literally Big Floppa.
I hate this but now I'm chuckling thinking of big floppa commanding an invasion fleet
Was kinda hoping for more detailed information but I'm happy with this and really hope that its part of a series
A nice long one that doesn’t make me sleep
N
N
Nun
That's what she said
Yay finally a nice really long one
There’s nothing worse for a military general having to deal with gorillas communicating with each other
If you've got the opportunity, a one semester bio-scientific terminology class might come in handy.
Great job, otherwise.
Yet another HFY I want more of.
The most rational and well thought out HFY story I ever read.
@NetNarrator You realize that MAD stands for Mutually Assured Destruction, correct?
Yes
"Even if your dragons are...hyperbolic...they still explain a lot."
I'm struggling to understand the usage of the word hyperbolic in this context. I like to think i have an understanding of the meaning of that word, something being hyperbolic would be in the shape of a hyperbola. Hyperbolic space would find two straight lines curving away from each other. I don't see however a dragon would be hyperbolic. Could someone explain for me? Perhaps a different word was intended? Maybe it was supposed to be hyperbole, which is to exaggerate?
Edit: I just realized hyperbolic can mean either what I was thinking, or used as another tense of hyperbole. I feel kinda dumb now.
This isn't meant to be patronizing, I just really like hyperbolic as an adjective because its fun to have a _graph_ explaining the meaning of a _word._ So I wanna share.
I believe that using hyperbolic as an adjective refers to either how a hyperbole approaches but never reaches its center point, or how it rapidly grows the further it gets from that center. So it's potentially both "never accurate" and "blown way out of proportion". Language is fun.
I think you both are conflating hyperbole with parabola
hyperbole is defined as "Exaggerated statements or claims not meant to be taken literally" via Wikipedia
@all
Hyperbole = exaggeration thing
Hyperbola = graph thing
Both become the adjective "hyperbolic"
I like people who admit mistakes and thus erase them.
Good show old boy
Before the word dinosaur was coined the word used to describe such creatures was Dragon.
The fact that this is a one-shot and not a series is killing me.
Several stories wrapped into one!
I'm actually glad that the alien Admiral was promoted following his defeat for demonstrating honour and successfully negotiating a cease fire. Hopefully his new role will help both his people and humanity to coexist for many galactic cycles to come!
"Salting the Ferrari" will live on forever.
29:35 realization
This was very good. Not a full roflstomp one direction or another, and a mutual cultural appreciation.
No one going to mention that the aliens thought the main thing reducing human lifespan was reckless teenage boys?
They aren't wrong
@@dannybryant1114 I mean they are; disease is the main thing reducing the human lifespan.
This is just sexist which is jarring coming from sci-fi aliens gathering information about us.
@@darraghtalorgan1905 as noted in the work itself, humanity had advanced in medical science further. We can't assume that disease has not become practically minimized as an issue. With no outside influences but our species tendencies, then the general recklessness of youth of both sexes would be a quantifiable cause lowering the life expectancy. Any look at teenage/young adults deaths from reckless behavior will see a larger portion male than female. So it's not sexist. I don't understand your arguments.
@@rakkel6061 You're making a big assumption here, based on something that wasn't in the original material. Disease comes under environmental and hereditary. We know that from the work itself because:
a; it specifically mentions that life expectancy is effected by environment which can increase by 50%~. That means if life expectancy is 50, then a good environment would allow that person to extend it to 75 (this is currently what it is though that 50% is increasing with our advancements),
and b; advances in medicine and extending life expectancy minimizes the cause of any actions from younger people as they make up a smaller amount of the population as less people die.
I completely agree with your point that recklessness is higher in teenagers, and specifically teenage boys, I'm not denying that. Differences between the sexes doesn't automatically mean sexism.
It is however sexist to point at teenage boys as the main cause for human death. Try gender swapping the roles and see how you feel then, if girls were said to be the main cause for death.
My problem with this isn't really that it's sexist towards men, you accept that in a lot of modern media; my problem is that it's stupid and makes these aliens seem both stupid and incompetent. The aliens that are invading earth are trying to gather information for a risk assessment before they invade. The aliens then ignore all major causes of violence and death to focus on a minority. You understand that this is like fishing in the ocean and then moving to a puddle to get more fish.
These aliens really came and looked at the planet and blamed the majority of human death on young boys. I'm sorry, but it's sexist to demonise a gender like that and crueler even to aim for the more vulnerable ones of that gender. That's one line in the story that popped out to me because it was so strange and out of whack with the quality of the rest of it. I really enjoyed the story but that part was cringy.
For every kid that dies of something stupid, the lifespan average drops.
Translator note: Ferrari actually means a blacksmith who specializes in horseshoes.
So a Farrier in English
@@heinoobermeyer7566 yes, but you'd be surprised how many people don't know that word either.
Explains the horse.
need a good one to make enough shoes for all that horse power
@@trli7117 Wait, really? actually, come to think of it, where DID I learn the word "farrier" from? It likely wasn't in any school-assigned reading. So that means only people who read the right books or watch the right TV shows would even encounter the word. Trippy.
Decent story. Its nice to hear one where the aggressor aren't unreasonable and not let a superiority complex cloud there judgment.
"We won't start an atrocity contest if you don't."
Which is jsut as well for somebody.
I think it was prophet Daniel who killed the dragon with tar biscuits
"Ferrari" is just the Italian version of the name "Smith"... The aliens literally tried to conquer Planet Smith.
Literally or only in terms of commonness?
@@noway8259 Google search: literal translation: Smiths (plural). Smith = Ferraro.
I am assuming Winglord Crossack looks like a lynx or Khajiit
Isn't he meant to be a reptile? or I dun goof and misread the story.
@@NcrXnbiI know I'm a year late, but it's Hussend, the ground force commander, who was reptilian looking. Crossack is noted as having tufted ears.
Hi. Just curious do you have a list BGM name.
portal tech would help the rush hour a lot, I get the wee willies just thinking about driving highway 1 into Vancouver.
"The planet they call *_Ferrari"_*
AHAHAHAHAHA YOU DONE GOOFED
So when there is a power blip the portals close…. What’s the casualty rates on these things cos am gona guess there’s been a lot of incidences of humans being cut in half
My guess is prolonged portals are dangerous.
Ferrari ?
These guys seem to be randomly dialing on the stargate and then settle on wherever the portal manage to establish.
Yay, this looks good
I think the biggest difference is call our planet "dirt" with reverence
to all Xenos thinking we are easy meals: "CHOAS IS THE ULTIMATE STRATEGY". ALSO ALIEN INVADERS THAT DO DETAILED RECON???
Wrong syllable is being stressed on some complex words like "endotherms" and "mammalian", but otherwise not bad.
The big thing is Hegemony
Heh gem o knee
"Somewhere over on the other side of the Great Attractor"
So, the planet Ferrari is either on the other side of the Laniakea Supercluster or possibly in the Shapely?
Imma be honest. I got lost several times during this one
I only payed like 70% attention to this one and so it felt like a fewer dream xd
idk somehow this story just jumped around so much
This one is well done.
4:45
No fallout scars from nukes?
Oh, so they're not on Earth at the moment.
RIP these poor uninformed souls.
I enjoyed this greatly.
Why does it feel like every single human were just fucking with the alien and saying random shit and they believed us.
This is a really interesting anarchist future of humanity.
"Just make those checks out to cash" Cave Johnson
I like this one. Its fun.
Hegemony, HEH-Jem-Oh-Nee. Heromancy, Hee-Ro-Man-See.
The libertarian twist to a HFY story is a welcome occurrence. 👍
This is refreshing
naming a planet Ferrari is so human XD...
I... yes.
I may have missed something, so i cant tell what laureliana is supposed to look like. I know she looks like some "transparent" mythological creature, but which one exactly?
I imagined Ethereal from X-Com. Or Slenderman.
fae
Hehe he, they think we have weaponsied fission energy 😂🤣🙌
I love this video.
Im glad the aliens were not space orks and were reasonable intelligent lifeforms
This story is really nice. I love how the aliens society are made. They seem really reasonable.
10:29 - Don't make me tap the sign again.
„There‘s no evidence that they ever tried to weaponize that technology.“
Bwahaha, when speaking about humanity you better look again when getting to that conclusion.
There‘s nothing we didn‘t try and succeed to turn into a weapon.
Oh this is epic
I get the feeling the author has read Illegal Aliens at some point
A very well written story - more, please.....
So, the Assimilators are the Haddenmen from the Deathstalker books. Got it.
This is a very polite declaration of war. I'm not surprised that we didn't declare Exterminatus upon the lizard men.
Nice Percy Jackson reference.
Not more then 2:30 and the sci part had already left the sci-fi. We actually have more hair follicles the gorillia but the are are so small its very hard to see them, ever really extreme goosebumps, literally skin-bumps upon skin-bumps. Come on writers fact check yourselves. Its misinformation like this that led the way to fake news, and also mythbusters so its not all bad.
amazing
Second. Fair enough